Moon Festival ~Does Moon Goddess Dream of Dumplings~

EP 0: Moonlight Hunter

Dr. Roman: Hmm-hmm♪ La-la-laaa♪

Dr. Roman: Whoa, Fujimaru. Why are you looking at me like that?

Dr. Roman: Mmm, it's like you're saying “I, myself, don't know, but this must be a form of happiness.”

Dr. Roman: Your expression is like a mixture of spiritual insight, affection, and a little pity. Has something happened?


Fujimaru 1: No, but, Doctor finally...

Dr. Roman: What, were you watching me?

Dr. Roman: And what do you mean by “finally?” I didn't do anything!


Fujimaru 2: Why are you walking around with an empty plate?

Dr. Roman: Yeah, that's the problem. I keep waiting and waiting, but Mash hasn't come back yet.

Dr. Roman: I asked her to grab something from storage for me, but I wonder if something happened...


Da Vinci: Hey, Romani, where are the dumplings? I'm about to show footage of the moon.

Da Vinci: Let's hurry up and hit the booze. After all, we've been holding out for this day.

Dr. Roman: ...Hmph, yeah right. That's what you say, but you've already started drinking like a fish, you lout...

Dr. Roman: Wait a little while longer, Da Vinci. Not all the staff members are here yet.


Fujimaru 1: Alcohol?


Fujimaru 2: Dumplings?


Dr. Roman: Huh? Fujimaru, didn't you hear? The outdoor calendar shows it's almost the end of summer.

Dr. Roman: Meaning it's almost time for the Moon Festival. It's said the harvest moon shall liven up conversations between friends.

Dr. Roman: The date isn't exactly right, but as long as there's a beautiful full moon in the night sky, it's perfect for the Moon Festival.

Dr. Roman: There's not a lot to do for fun in Chaldea, so I prepared this thinking we could use a break, but...

Da Vinci: Mash hasn't come back yet. She was getting the dumplings from food storage.

Da Vinci: She said, “I'm powerful now that I've become a Demi-Servant, so leave it to me.” Then she took off on her own...

Da Vinci: I have a bad feeling about this. Fujimaru, go see what's up—

Dr. Roman: The alarm? What's going on?!

Mash: This is serious, Doctor! Someone has raided our food storage!

Mash: As well as the offerings we prepared for the festival and everything else... Chaldea's food reserves are nearly down to zero!


Fujimaru 1: What?!

Mash: Ah. Good morning. I'm happy to see you're as healthy as ever.

Dr. Roman: Is this the place for that kind of conversation? I'm impressed by how much you trust each other.


Fujimaru 2: That aside, those glasses really look good on you, Mash.

Mash: Ah... Thank you. My eyes are good so I don't really need them, but...

Da Vinci: Okay, look around you. This is supposed to be a tense scene.


Dr. Roman: No, this is not the time to discuss that. Somebody raided our food storage. Who could it be?!

Mash: The thing is... None of the surveillance cameras picked up anything... They're not broken, but...

Mash: ...but it's like all of the recorded footage has been painted over with a heart mark, so we can't see anything.

Mash: The analysis team in the monitor room said...

Mash: “When we watched the footage, we got dizzy and fell unconscious, one right after the other...”

Da Vinci: Hmm... I see. This is a real pickle.

Dr. Roman: A pickle?! Leonardo, have you gone bonkers, too?!

Da Vinci: Ah, pardon me. I was just having a bit of fun. But anyway, Romani, take a look at this Singularity.

Da Vinci: Three minutes ago, someone Rayshifted to France. That must've been the cause of the alarm.

Mash: Rayshift... With no authorization, and solo? You're saying the culprit escaped by Rayshifting?

Mash: I can't imagine a Servant capable of something like that...

Dr. Roman: Good point. Right now, Chaldea doesn't exist in normal dimension.

Dr. Roman: The only ones who can go outside are Master Fujimaru and contracted Servants.

Da Vinci: On the other hand, a Contracted Servant can do evil deeds.

Da Vinci: But only special and extremely powerful Heroic Spirits could bend the rules of time and space.

Mash: ...Um, did you make a contract with such a powerful Servant?

Mash: There are no records of it, as far as I know...

Da Vinci: Yes, but the order of cause and effect would be opposite, you see?

Da Vinci: We're talking about a Heroic Spirit that could bend time and space, and stretch the string of possibility for “eventually forming a contract”

Da Vinci: into the “eventual outcome of a contract.” It would be an incredibly powerful Heroic Spirit.

Dr. Roman: ...If it finds the coordinates of Chaldea using nonsensical means like that, that's incredible...

Dr. Roman: But... I see,

Dr. Roman: if the culprit here is a Heroic Spirit who's willing to form a contract with Fujimaru.

Dr. Roman: Then the damage we suffer wouldn't be critical.

Dr. Roman: Because whatever the future, Fujimaru wouldn't form a contract with an outright villain.

Mash: No, Doctor. The problem is that we don't have any food left.

Mash: At this rate, Senpai's health management and tea time after a Grail expedition can't be guaranteed.

Mash: As the Master's Servant, I propose we take measures quickly.

Dr. Roman: Y-yeah, I guess this is not the time to be thinking, “If we're out of sweet dumplings, we can just have sweet bean paste instead.”

Dr. Roman: Fujimaru. For the sake of Chaldea's future,

Dr. Roman: and our fun Moon Festival, would you go check out the situation for us?


Fujimaru 1: Yes I'll go, Doctor.

Dr. Roman: I knew I could count on you. That's why you're the Master of Chaldea.


Fujimaru 2: You really like sweet bean paste, huh?

Dr. Roman: Well, of course. Sugar is indispensable to someone who works with his brain.

Dr. Roman: Actually, I was more of a pancake guy, but I got addicted to it when I went to Japan. Hahaha.


Mash: All right, Doctor, please prepare for the Rayshift. I'll get every last sweet dumpling back!

Da Vinci: (The culprit must be a Divine Spirit-class Servant that can Rayshift by itself...)

Da Vinci: (Well, some things are better left unsaid!)

Mash: Rayshift is complete. This is—the France we're familiar with, right?

Mash: The one who raided Chaldea's storage is here—? Huh? I hear something being fired nearby...

Woman: Oh my. What do we have here?

Mash: ...Master. There's a woman in strange clothes...

Mash: She's holding a bow in an improper posture, firing not so effective arrows, and—

Werebeast: Ghraaaaaa!

Mash: She's fighting a pack of werewolves! What's going on here?!


Fujimaru 1: I don't know, but let's help her!


Fujimaru 2: For now, let's fight!


Woman: Oh my! Are you here to give me a hand, stranger? Hehe, aren't you a decisive one?

Woman: I will take up on your kind offer. Let's fight together.

Woman: We can leave the fun conversation for after the battle. Right now, let's take out these bandits!

--BATTLE--

Mash: Combat complete. But, I still sense enemies nearby.

Mash: Doctor, let me know the status of the surrounding— Doctor?


Fujimaru 1: Bad connection?

Mash: Seems like it... We can perform a Rayshift to return to Chaldea from here, but...


Fujimaru 2: Think Roman's slacking?

Mash: Huh? The doctor's being lazy, you think?

Mash: I can assure you that is not the case. Dr. Roman isn't the type to slack off at his job.


Mash: The more pressing concern is this woman.

Mash: Um... Excuse me. You're not a normal human, are you? Are you...a Servant?

Woman: Hmm? Am I a Servant? Oh, you mean a Heroic Spirit! I know all about them!

Woman: Indeed! I am a Servant! The splendid hunter forever seen in the night sky—

Woman: My name is Orion! That's me! Round of applause, please!

Mash: You heard her, Senpai. What do you think?


Fujimaru 1: Clap, clap, clap.

Orion: Hehe. Thanks for the applause. I don't know who you are, but I think we can be friends♡


Fujimaru 2: Wasn't Orion a guy?

Orion: Truth is stranger than fiction, you know.

Orion: They say that Orion was a fast-talking, no-good skirt-chaser who'd go after any woman he saw, but—


???: PGRYU!

Mash: Pgryu?

Orion: Hehehe. Sorry, I think that's my tummy rumbling. I haven't had anything to eat in so long.

Orion: Anyway, they say all kinds of mean things about Orion in the legend, but he's actually a pure-hearted, wonderful hunter!

Orion: And I've materialized to prove just that... Well? Do you believe me?

Mash: She's appeared in order to repair her reputation... In other words, to correct an incorrect history!

Mash: I know how you feel, Miss Orion. Your skills with a bow—

Mash: I'm really confused as to how you could hit a target effectively with that stance,

Mash: but that was really impressive! You're as good as the Greek myths say!

Mash: The legendary hero who never misses, who seduced the Goddess Artemis!

Orion: Oh my. Oh dear. Never misses, you say? Hehehehe.

???: Pgryyyrururur!


Fujimaru 1: Your stomach again?

Mash: Aww, that's bad manners, Senpai. You shouldn't ask a girl about her tummy.


Fujimaru 2: Huh? Seduced a goddess?

Orion: Oh, that's true. More specifically, he made a goddess fall in love with him♡


Mash: By the way, Miss Orion. Have you seen anyone suspicious around here?

Mash: We're looking for someone who stole a large amount of provisions from our base...

Orion: Suspicious people... Maybe that trio I just saw?

Orion: They were running that way carrying something strange.

Orion: But, they were a little out of it. All the food was falling out all over the place.

Orion: See those wolves gathering? They're here to get the food that fell out.

Mash: Senpai! That's good information! Let's hurry and follow them!

Mash: Oh, but we need to get those dumplings back... Especially those super rare dumplings. I have to defend them at any cost...


Fujimaru 1: Huh... Super rare... What?

Mash: Oh—that's right. You don't know about it.

Mash: Mixed with the other dumplings are some special ones, made by a famous Japanese shop named Nanayabashiya.

Mash: Their taste rivals a 10,000 yen sukiyaki, and their value rivals a dozen Saint Quartz...

Mash: They're special. I'm not sure what I'm saying anymore.


Fujimaru 2: Mash, calm down.

Mash: Oh... Right. Sorry. I panicked. It's definitely not that I'm hungry.

Mash: Anyway, they're very special dumplings. They're humanity's greatest treasure, and must be defended at all costs.


Orion: I see! I understand. Can I help, then?

Orion: I owe you for saving me, and I need to showcase my archery skills, too. You're a Master, aren't you?

Orion: If you saw Orion being useful here, I'm sure you would want to contract with her, right?

Mash: That would be great. Thanks for your help, Miss Orion.


Fujimaru 1: Yeah, let's get those dumplings.


Fujimaru 2: Let the hunt begin!


Mash: Right! We'll pick up the rare dumplings as we chase after the thieves!

Mash: This is a special mission, unlike any we've done before, but let's do our best!

EP 1: Antoinette and Company

Mash: I see light ahead... It's a campfire! We caught up to them, Master!

Mash: But that's—that's—

Marie: Here you go, d'Eon. Open wide. Say aaah♡

d'Eon: Th-th-thank you, Marie... Okay... Aaah.

Marie: Delicious, aren't they? They're so plump and chewy, and that sweet, sugary taste...

Marie: And they're so cute, like snowballs. I'd love to learn how to make them.

Marie: Here, you have some, too. Aren't sweet dumplings lovely, Sanson?

Sanson: Y-Yes... I accept this gratefully, my Queen. But is this really okay?

Sanson: It said “Take what you like,” but for us to take all three tons of it...

Marie: My dear Sanson, you need to take what you can, when it's offered to you.

Marie: Your modesty is commendable, but it's not good to be too modest.

Marie: What happened to the bold Sanson who readied the guillotine?

Sanson: No... My queen, I didn't actually like the guillotine. Quite the opposite...

d'Eon: You complain too much, executioner. Her Majesty said we're taking them.

d'Eon: So we shall help her do it. That's all there is to it. Fortunately, we have access to Marie's glass carriage.

d'Eon: Carrying a ton or two of snacks is easy. We should've taken more.

Marie: Heheh. d'Eon understands a maiden's heart.

Marie: They're so delicious! It's natural for a person to want as much as they can carry.

Marie: Okay, say aah♡

d'Eon: Aaah!

Sanson: Wait, you're eating more?! That's too much!

Sanson: As a man of medicine, I must advise against consuming any more calories. You'll get fat...

Marie: Really, you don't have to worry, Sanson. Everything I eat goes right to my breasts.

Marie: The more I eat, the bustier I get. So there's no way I'll get fat.

Sanson: Wh-what...did you...say?! I-is that true, Marie?!

Sanson: That's medically impossible! But if it is true, I...I!

d'Eon: ...How crude. Sit down and stop panicking. But it's true, executioner.

d'Eon: Her Majesty has grown to have one of the finest bodies in France. It's truly amazing.

Sanson: —Tell me more! Give me more details! This is important for medical science!

Marie: It's not medical at all! It's something all girls have in common!

d'Eon: (...I don't know...I think it's only you, your Majesty, who doesn't have any fat go to her belly...)

Sanson: —! Chevalier!

d'Eon: I know! Get back, your Majesty!

Mash: You're all under arrest! Surrender peacefully, you dumpling thieves!

Marie: Oh, it's you!

Marie: ...You're ...You're... Who are you again? Sanson, do you know them?

Sanson: Of course not. If you think you do, you're probably imagining it.

Sanson: They're probably bandits, lured here by the light of our campfire.

d'Eon: Indeed. For once we agree, executioner.

d'Eon: Take up your swords, brigands! You'll pay for ruining her Majesty's snack time!

Marie: Hm... I really do think we've met somewhere, though...

Marie: I can't remember it... This is so strange... I have this feeling that we'd get along great...

Marie: But, now that it's come to this, we shall fight! Forgive me for the rough welcome, familiar ones!

Marie: I'm sure you have your reasons, but we're enemies now. I'm not letting you have these dumplings!

Mash: That's Marie for you. What a selfish declaration of war!

Mash: Let's go, Senpai! First, let's jog their memories in battle!

--BATTLE--

Sanson: Gah!

d'Eon: Tch... They bested me!

Marie: Auuuggghhh!

Mash: The battle is over. Now we can talk—

Orion: Wait, Mash. There's one more back there. This presence... It's the same type of loser, just like my darling!

???: Hahaha...hahahaha... So you saw me. Impressive...

Mash: S-Senpai! A really shady-looking pervert came out of the shadows!

???: I'm no pervert. I am Amadeus Mask. The wandering fairy.

Marie: Oh my! Amadeus Mask! You were following us in secret again?

d'Eon: You again, pervert? Go back to Vienna!

Sanson: Heh... I can really count on you, huh? You showed up in our hour of dire peril...

Amadeus Mask: Hehehe... The one I think I'd get along with dislikes me, and the one I don't care for finds me reliable... What's going on here?

Amadeus Mask: Well, it doesn't matter. Maria is in trouble. I can swallow my pride and work with you, even if I don't want to.

Amadeus Mask: Unknown travelers, prepare yourselves.

Amadeus Mask: It's obvious that Maria and her friends are in the wrong, but you know, I don't really care.

Amadeus Mask: Let us begin the symphony! Whew, I'm getting excited!

Amadeus Mask: Can you beat these three true perverts, now that they're orchestrated by me, the God of Music?!

d'Eon: —Wait a moment. Did you just include me in your statement?!

--BATTLE--

Amadeus: So yeah. A one-star Servant like me has no chance of winning.

d'Eon: You truly are the worst! All you did was slow us down!

Mash: Did you see that, Senpai? ...When Amadeus' mask slipped off, it hit Sanson on the back of the head...

Mash: ...And instantly knocked him out... Is that level of coordination only possible because they've known each other for years?

Marie: Don't worry about that, Mash. If Sanson was awake this discussion would take longer.

Mash: Marie, do you remember us now?

Marie: Yes, as we were fighting, somewhat. There's a lot to talk about, but first, here.

Marie: You can have these wonderful confections back. We had a small amount. I'm sorry.

d'Eon: (A small amount... A small amount? N-no, if her Majesty says so, then it's fine...)

Mash: No, as long we have them back, it's okay. We were going to give these equally to everyone...

Mash: Huh? Um...is this all? You were saying there were three tons worth a moment ago...

Marie: That was at the start. I did load up the carriage, but...

Marie: We ran into a group of three people passing by, and gave them most of the dumplings as a sign of friendship.

Mash: What?! You gave them almost three tons worth?

Marie: Of course. When you think about it, no matter how good they are, you can't eat three tons, can you?

d'Eon: Yes, that's right. I would've preferred you to think about that sooner, though.

Mash: That's a very good point, Marie... So where did the three strangers go?

Marie: They said they were going to pray near the waters of Marseille. If you hurry, you might catch them.

Mash: Senpai!


Fujimaru 1: Yeah, let's hurry, Mash!


Fujimaru 2: Yeah, let's get the grinding going, Mash!


Mash: Marie, I'd love to talk more, but we're in a hurry...

Marie: Yes, I know. Please be careful, Fujimaru.

Marie: May fortune smile upon your journey! Vive la France! And whassup!

d'Eon: My queen?! (Turns around in shock)

EP 2: Battle at the Coastline

Georgios: Hmm...

Martha: ...

Georgios: ...It's quiet. Very quiet. Don't you think, St. Martha?

Martha: Indeed. The ocean waves are calm tonight. By the way, St. Georgios...

Georgios: What is it? Oh, you want a photo?

Georgios: Unfortunately, my specialty is landscapes, not people.

Martha: No one wants one of your photos. I'm talking about those.

Georgios: Oh, these? My apologies. It's about time, yes. Will you go first?

Martha: Oh, my. I'm a little embarrassed.

Martha: But I cannot turn down your offer, St. Georgios.

Martha: Excuse me... Aaah.

Martha: Oh! These smell so good, and its texture on the tongue! It's super-duper yummy—Ahem.

Martha: It tastes splendid. The wisdom of the East is not to be dismissed.

Georgios: I'll have some for myself—Ahem. This is...Oho! It's hot! It's hot, but sweet!

Georgios: It seems simple, but you don't tire of it. It has a smooth surface, but a complex taste.

Georgios: Simple, yet deep. How to describe it?

Kojirou: You describe it as tasty, you two. If you'll excuse me, I'll have one myself.

Kojirou: Hmm... Mm...They're bite-sized, but not so small that it's not enough.

Kojirou: These dumplings are clearly the work of a master. I am in awe.

Kojirou: Truly, you can find geniuses in any era.

Martha: ...

Kojirou: What's wrong, Martha? Is there something stuck on my face?

Martha: No, I was just wondering what that black, honey-like sauce was.

Martha: I don't want one for myself. For one thing, I don't trust you.

Martha: You've been tagging along with us for days. Why don't you tell us what you're after?

Kojirou: My goal is as I spoke of when we first met. I seek a duel with you. That is all.

Martha: And I refused. I preach the folly of battle.

Martha: Besides, why must I fight you? I'm not the type.

Kojirou: Oh? Is that really true?

Martha: It's true! You sound like you don't believe me! Are you making fun of me?

Martha: What is your problem, anyway? Are you even a real samurai?

Kojirou: Hahaha. You saw right through me. When I have to act like a samurai, I can.

Kojirou: I am a wanderer, I act differently at different times.

Kojirou: But I'm not the only one. You seem to be carrying such burden as well.

Kojirou: A particularly big one. Tarasque, was it?

Martha: Huh!? You're after my Tarasque? Not me!?

Martha: I don't know how many wyverns you've taken down, but I doubt you can do anything with that skimpy sword?

Martha: Don't underestimate the scales of the Tarasque. They were thick enough to withstand one of my punches!

Kojirou: Oh, your punches? How interesting. I thought your weapon was a staff?

Martha: !!! Oh, how silly of you. Ahahah.

Martha: Perhaps you're hard of hearing? I'm a saint. I would never punch anyone.

Georgios: Hahaha. Come to think of it, before “He” gave her the staff, St. Martha was completely empty-handed, I'm told.

Georgios: So before you settled in as a Saint, you were fighting dragons with your bare hands, huh?

Georgios: I find that fascinating. As a fellow dragon slayer, I would've liked to have caught that with my camera.

Martha: I have not punched any dragons! I don't street-brawl anymore, and I've never fought with my bare hands in my life!

Martha: And Georgios, didn't you say you only photographed landscapes?

Mash: ...Another set of three Servants. I guess you could call these the three dragon slayers...

Mash: We're lucky Siegfried isn't here. ...Let's get ready to head in, Master!

Mash: Enough cooking and eating dumplings! Surrender peacefully to the ropes!

Martha: Huh? What's this about ropes?

Kojirou: She means to not struggle against her. In old Japan they'd tie up criminal's bodies with ropes before taking them away.

Martha: R-Ropes... Couldn't they just tie our hands... That's crazy, tying up someone's whole body...

Georgios: Criminals? I've no idea what you're talking about.

Mash: ...Um, I'm sorry, Mr. George. Those dumplings were stolen from Chaldea.

Mash: So I think you became guilty the moment you ate them.

Mash: But if you just give them back, we can forget all about it...

Georgios: ...I see. Even if we didn't know, how could we do such a thing?

Georgios: We paid for this food, but if it was stolen in the first place...

Georgios: Miss, we've never met before, but you seem to be telling the truth.

Georgios: I'll return this bag of food to you. That is the least we can do.

Mash: Huh...Oh, right. That would be a big help, but...


Fujimaru 1: We're not...fighting?


Fujimaru 2: I can't believe you actually listened to us!


Martha: Of course. We're famous saints, you know.

Martha: We admit when we're wrong, and strive to correct it. Though I do wish I could've had some more.

Martha: And only St. Georgios paid any money. Since I am not at any loss I don't really mind.

Georgios: That's right. Now, please take them. And return to this “Chaldea” place of yours.

Kojirou: I'm simply a freeloader, so I have no objection. Battle solves nothing.

Mash: Everyone... Senpai, let's go back. The mission is complete!

Orion: Hmm? Wait a second.

Orion: That was very touching, but I think that samurai's hiding a rare dumpling in his pocket.

Kojirou: Hmm? Samurai? Do you mean me?

Orion: And the saint has some behind her back, right?

Martha: Wh-what are you talking about?

Georgios: How disgraceful, you two... I do apologize.

Georgios: I'll stay here. Feel free to take these criminals back with you.

Orion: And you, the man with long hair, your camera pack is stuffed with hidden dumplings.

Georgios: THOU ART A DRAGON!?

Mash: Mr. George...

Georgios: Huh!? What a sharp-eyed lady... It seems we have no choice but to fight...

Martha: Indeed. It's not fair to call me a thief, and I want more dumplings anyway.

Martha: Just this once, I'll abandon my holy vows. Even though they are weightier than Tarasque.

Mash: Tarasque's pretty light then, huh?

Martha: Kojirou, you fight, as well. You've eaten plenty of free food up until now.

Kojirou: Yes, I've got nothing to do with this, but fair enough. You shall taste the wrath of my secret blade.


Fujimaru 1: They're coming, Mash!


Fujimaru 2: That's the problem with saints...


Mash: Right! They weren't listening to us at all!

--BATTLE--

Georgios: What have I done... What got into me?

Georgios: It must be the magical energy of the moon that compelled me to use Ascalon.

Georgios: Please realize, milady... The true enemy...is close at hand... (ka-thud)


Fujimaru 1: Georgios?!


Fujimaru 2: Mr. George!?


Kojirou: ...I never before fought out of greed, and now greed has dulled my blade...

Kojirou: In the moment greed took over, my defeat was assured... Bean paste buns are scary...

Kojirou: Oh, and I was strangely strong not because I'm on my home ground, but because of my class affinity? (ka-thud)


Fujimaru 1: LEGEND OF SAMURAI?!


Fujimaru 2: Kojirou what's-his-name!?


Mash: Both of them died well... We have the dumplings right here, so I'll get some incense for the funeral.

Martha: They haven't disappeared. They're just pretending to pass out because they're embarrassed.

Martha: Men can be so proud over the silliest things. Who cares if you lose a fight?

Georgios: A brutal strike! DWAH!

Kojirou: Such merciless truth! KWAH!


Fujimaru 1: ...That one really did knock them out.


Fujimaru 2: ...Is she really a saint?


Mash: It's true that men and women may have different views on fighting.

Mash: Statistical data shows that women engage in competition on a daily basis, and don't obsess over a single defeat.

Mash: They'd prefer to use the extra calories obsessing over more constructive things, I hear.


Fujimaru 1: Is that true for you, too?

Mash: I...I don't know. I haven't fought enough to really find value in the outcome of a fight.


Fujimaru 2:

Mash: Yes, but this is just statistical data. It differs for each individual.


Orion: Hey, guys, I hate to interrupt, but that scary woman is running straight for the sea.

Martha: Hahahaha! It's too late! Come forth, Tarasque! Scramble ride!

Martha: I'm outta here, kiddies! Next time we meet, I'll get you for this!

Mash: Oh! The sea parted, and a dragon came out... No, a turtle? An extremely tired-looking iron dragon?

Mash: Whatever it is, it's spinning up into the sky!

Mash: It looks just like an unidentified flying object, doesn't it, Senpai?


Fujimaru 1: Yeah, that's what everyone thought.


Fujimaru 2: She just made the morning papers.


Martha: Oh, but as a way of expressing our gratitude for the dumplings...

Martha: Yes, we did buy them off of a strange group in a glass carriage—

Martha: But later we ran into a fat man calling himself an emperor, and gave him the other half.

Martha: He was very skilled at persuasion...A professional debtor. The type who never pays back what he owes.

Martha: Be careful! You'll find him in the wasteland!

Orion: Hmm, after saying all that, she just flew off.

Orion: Looks like we've got more work to do. I don't mind, though. I'm having fun.

Orion: What will you do, Mash, Fujimaru? If you're going to give up, now might be the time.

Mash: No, we'll get as many dumplings back as we can.

Mash: Let's go, Master. That fat man is definitely our next foe!

EP 3: Moon Over the Ruined Castle

Caesar: Not bad. Not bad at all. I prefer plump, delicious fruit, but this is not bad.

Caesar: Excellent form. Easy to transport. Keeps for days. And more than anything, easy to eat!

Caesar: Yes, yes, yes, yes! What is this? I can't stop putting them in my mouth!

Caesar: Once you start, you just can't stop! I've got no choice but to eat all the dumplings in the world!

Caligula: WWAAARRHH! NNEERROOO!

Caesar: Heh, I see you're devouring them, too. You're not a true Roman emperor unless you love to eat.

Caesar: Though I guess I'm not really an emperor. I just laid the foundations for an empire.

Caligula: WAAARGGHH! FATSO!

Caesar: I am not fat! I am plump!

Orion: There's a huge pile of dumplings behind them... We finally reached our main target, I guess.

Orion: What will you do? Try to talk to them?


Fujimaru 1: I don't think that'll work.


Fujimaru 2: Let's heed Martha's warning.


Mash: Y-yes... The tyrant Caligula is a Berserker. We won't be able to talk to him.

Mash: Caesar is a Saber, so we can communicate with him, but he's also a little TOO good at talking.

Mash: If we try to talk to him, he might just “round” up the conversation in his favor.

Orion: Yeah...He's really...round.

Mash: For now, let's approach them, Senpai.

Mash: If we attack them from the front then we're in accordance with the laws of chivalry, we won't be cowards.


Fujimaru 1: You seem like you're getting angry.


Fujimaru 2: Chival...ry?


Mash: Stop acting like a food processor.

Mash: Those provisions belong to Chaldea, not Rome!

Caligula: ...? Not...Rome? Rome...isn't...a dumpling...

Caligula: But great Caesar is...round... What is...the meaning...of this?

Caesar: Stop comparing me to things that are round!

Caesar: ...Sigh. You interrupted my wonderful snack time... A mess. This is truly a mess.

Caesar: But I guess you've appeared at last. You're here for these Moon Festival dumplings, right?

Caesar: I managed to embezzle these from that wicked Rider...

Mash: (Senpai, did he just say “embezzle?” I'm not hearing that wrong, right?)

Caesar: And I have a just reason for doing so. Well? Will you listen to me, milady?

Caesar: You will, of course! Everyone listens to me! My speeches are said to be worth their weight in gold!

Caesar: So allow me to tell you how I made these dumplings mine.

Mash: U-um, that's not necessary... Let's just fight. Yeah. Fight.

Mash: I'm not really interested in the reason. Please just give them back...

Caesar: Ahem. I haven't introduced myself. How could I forget?

Caesar: I am none other than the famous flower of Rome, the Crimson Swordsman, Red Saber!

Mash: Sorry. You're going to get sued for that.

Caligula: Impossible!

Caesar: Hmm, no good, huh? I thought I could pull it off.

Caesar: And Caligula, you too?

Caesar: Anyway, allow me to continue. Traveling this bountiful land, I encountered a delicious scent.

Caesar: And then—


Fujimaru 1: You came, you saw, you bought! Right?

Mash: I understand how you feel, but be quiet, Master.


Fujimaru 2: ... (Deliberately say nothing)

Caesar: ...No response, huh? Sad...How very sad...


Caesar: Anyway, I sensed a wicked plot was involved. Thinking I should probably take action, I confiscated them.

Caesar: But if they were stolen, I can understand your anger. A sense of righteousness can create stronger feelings than revenge.

Caesar: I dislike fighting. It's a pain. So let's do this.

Caesar: First, I will trust you, and give you back these dumplings.

Caesar: You will go around and sell them at three times the price, then come back.

Caesar: I'll take the money, and give you no less than double what they're worth!

Caesar: Well? Your gain, not loss, and I get the satisfaction of having trusted you.

Caesar: How about I give them back to you under these terms?


Fujimaru 1: Ooh...So peaceful!

Orion: Calm down, Fujimaru!

Orion: I'm easily tricked, so I'm not one to talk, but you're being tricked right now!


Fujimaru 2: Ooh...Such a rip-off!

Mash: That's right, Master.

Mash: Martha was correct. Talking to Caesar is a waste of time.


Caesar: Hmm. It didn't work, huh? I tried copying Cleopatra...

Caesar: But, very well. Fighting it is. Caligula, prepare yourself.

Caligula: KWAAAOOOHH! They're clearly in the right, but WWWRROOAAH!

Caesar: Heh. Come, then! I'll give you a taste of my Crocea Mors!

--BATTLE--

Caligula: GGGNNOOOAAAH!

Caesar: Hmph, there's limits to what I can do as a Saber?! If only there were a class where I could win more easily.

Mash: Combat complete. We won, Master.

Mash: We'll take the dumplings back, then. Now we can return to Chaldea—

Mash: Huh? It's so...heavy?! I was able to carry it before, but...

???: ...Nom nom...nom nom...

Orion: Wait, Mash?! There's someone in the bag!

Caligula: What? Wait...I'll look...inside...

Caligula: Glory is given...to the victors... It is not good...to deny them...that...

???: No need. These belong to me.

Caligula: Gnuh?!

Altera: Oops. Have I cut the bag, as well? Forgive me. I do not destroy life. (Nom nom)


Fujimaru 1: Something crazy came out?!

Mash: That's um...Who is that? It's clearly a top-class Servant, but...


Fujimaru 2: Well, he had to be a good guy at the end...

Caesar: Indeed. I suppose it's Caligula's destiny to be killed through a cloth...


Orion: No way...Altera?! What's she doing here?!

Altera: Why are you surprised, woman? Wherever there is civilization, I appear.

Caesar: Altera? The Great King of the Western World, a warrior of the Huns, the avatar of destruction?

Caesar: But how did she get here? And how exactly did she get inside that bag?!

Altera: I walked here, basically. Rayshift is civilization, so I do not use it.

Caesar: You walked again?!

Orion: ...Mash, Fujimaru. She looks calm, but don't underestimate that woman.

Orion: She's a natural predator, not just of us, but of you humans.

Orion: She destroys any buildings she sees, as well as some she doesn't see. She doesn't target anything of nature, but she ends up destroying it too.

Orion: She's a giant pain in the neck, who destroys everything around her just by walking.

Altera: That is a misunderstanding. I do make distinctions.

Altera: In the end, it comes to feelings. I've realized there are different types of civilization.

Altera: Nom, mmm. Basically, there are both good and bad civilizations.

Altera: Dumplings are good civilization. Moon Festival is bad civilization.

Altera: So I am taking these dumplings, nom, and destroying you for having Moon Festivals, nom.

Altera: If you get in my way, I will show no mercy.

Altera: I will use this War God's sword, I happened to find on the ground, to destroy you.

Orion: What do you mean “happened to find?” Anything you use turns into that thing!

Caesar: Hmm, this is bad. I'll help you! I can't let what happened to Rome be repeated!

Mash: Master! The mysterious enemy Servant is coming! We'll fight her with everything we've got!

--BATTLE--

Altera: ...Well, that was not successful. The dumplings were good, though.

Altera: Oh—When will this dream—When will my Noble Phantasm attain its true power—

Mash: Good...The enemy Servant has vanished. Now we can finally—

Dr. Roman: Whew! Finally made it through! Hello? Hello?

Dr. Roman: Are you two okay!? I just detected an incredible vortex of magical energy!

Mash: Doctor, are communications back? ...Did you activate the Rayshift?

Dr. Roman: Yeah, I detected the provisions near you, and activated the Rayshift.

Dr. Roman: You have nothing else left to do, right? Then hurry and come back to Chaldea.

Dr. Roman: The Moon Festival party will be waiting for you.

Mash: Yes...That's right. We did achieve our goals, but...


Fujimaru 1: Huh? Where's Orion?


Mash: That's right. I don't see her anymore. I wanted to thank her for her help...

Caesar: Hmph. I'm still here. Do you have any goodbyes for me?


Fujimaru 1: You were useless against Altera.

Caesar: I can't help it. It's my class affinity. I wouldn't be more useful than that woman Archer.


Fujimaru 2: Want to join us for the Moon Festival at Chaldea?

Caesar: No, thank you. The offer is enough. Unknown Master, I hope we meet again someday.


Mash: Thank you for your help, though.

Mash: Just having you on our side was a big help.

Caesar: Yes, it means one less enemy. You understand war well.

Caesar: And so I shall give you one final warning.

Caesar: When it comes to food, the first owner and the last owner are different.

Caesar: So who is the true owner of these dumplings?

Caesar: Was it the one who prepared them? No. The one who cooked them? Even less so.

Caesar: Then who do they belong to? They belong to the one who is last to eat them.

Caesar: You claimed ownership of the dumplings, but from “that person's” perspective, that's nothing but a joke.

Caesar: Listen well. If you fail to realize this, the truth will remain forever hidden in darkness.

Mash: Caesar, what do you mean?

Caesar: Hahahaha! Stay hungry, and you'll find the answer someday!

Caesar: Farewell, farewell to you, girl with a bosom that's soft like a dumpling!

Mash: I-I take back my thank you! I think Rome is a bad civilization!

Dr. Roman: I was a little worried for a while there, but I'm glad to see you both safe.

Dr. Roman: We're handing out all the dumplings you recovered now. The Moon Festival party will begin soon.

Dr. Roman: Just rest a little until then.

Dr. Roman: I'd love to know what happened out there, but I'll wait.

Dr. Roman: You can tell all the staff about your adventures.

Mash: Sure, but, um...Doctor. Did you find the cause of the communications problem?

Dr. Roman: O-Oh, no. I couldn't find it. All our equipment was working normally.

Dr. Roman: But if there was a cause—

Da Vinci: It wouldn't be on Chaldea's side, but your own.

Da Vinci: Some kind of problem should have shown up during the time you Rayshifted and when the comms came back online...

Da Vinci: Fujimaru, any idea?


Fujimaru 1: ...A little.


Fujimaru 2: ...Pick...Up...


Da Vinci: Well, if it wasn't a problem, you can forget it. Good work out there!

Da Vinci: Enjoy the rest of your time at the Moon Festival party!

Mash: ...Something doesn't feel right.

Mash: I still feel like... I want some more rare dumplings.

Mash: We haven't caught the thief, and the greatest question still remains.

Mash: Who was that Orion?

EP 4: Does Moon Goddess Dream of Dumplings?

Mash: Oh?


Fujimaru 1: Huh?


Mash: These...appear to be the hills of France...

Mash: But what are we doing here? We were gathering rare dumplings...

???: Hehehe. I'll tell you, Mash.

???: “Thank you for all the work you've done for me and Orion. Good job, you two!”

Orion: Just kidding! Good evening, Master of Chaldea.

Mash: Miss Orion!

Orion: Hey, how've you been, Mash♡ It's a bit late, but do you need an introduction and explanation?


Fujimaru 1: Yeah, I think we kind of do.

Orion: Hehe. Soft on the outside, and prickly where it counts. I like it.

Orion: All right, time to explain! I was the one who attacked Chaldea's food supply!

Orion: Or at least, that was the plan. But it didn't work.

Orion: Um, I virtually proved the causality of being summoned by you, and managed to get into Chaldea,

Orion: but then it was just one failure after another. Lots of nasty traps kept me out of the storage.

Orion: All I could do was transport your entire storage into the Singularity.

Orion: And once I'd done that, I jumped to retrieve them, but...

Orion: By an unfortunate coincidence, a passing queen got to them before I could.

Orion: You know the rest. I chased after the dumplings,

Orion: gathered almost enough rare dumplings for the special Craft Essence, and waited for the time of my full revival!


Fujimaru 2: No, I think we're good.

Orion: R-Really? Hmm, you don't need an explanation, huh?

Orion: But, that's fine. It makes this easier. All that's left to do is fight.


Mash: So you were the real culprit? But why?

Orion: For the dumplings, of course. The dumplings.

Orion: The dumplings are a manifestation of faith, created for the moon... An offering to the moon.

Orion: Do you understand? They're a way to win the favor of the gods and bring them here.

Orion: Even if Chaldea didn't intend for it to happen, doing a ritual like that in a place with a summoning system...

Orion: ...was enough for me to awaken. More specifically, it slapped me awake.

Orion: But when I woke up, I was starving. I didn't have nearly enough magical energy.

Orion: So I wanted dumplings. The sacrifices that were created for me.

Orion: They are thoughts, created for me. A rare source of magical energy that exists to feed me.

Mash: Then—for the last few days Senpai and I have been running around to try and revive you!?

Orion: That's right♡ But please don't treat me as evil or anything.

Orion: I'm on your side...well, I'm not. But, I'm not your enemy.

Orion: If my darling is on your side, then I'm willing to be, too.

Orion: Anyway, thanks to all the rare dumplings that Fujimaru found, I can join your other Servants.

Orion: All that's left is to wait for you to summon me— But first, don't you think we need to test your skills?


Fujimaru 1: [♂ Agreed. You'll pay for tricking me. /♀ Agreed. You're going to regret this.]

Orion: Hmm... I guess you're right. I didn't trick you, but it is true that I was having fun...


Fujimaru 2: Can we talk instead of fight?

Orion: Impossible. I don't like humans to start with. And I dislike the weak ones the most.

Orion: So I want you to show me that you're strong enough to beat selfish, unreasonable, and inhuman old me.

Orion: Otherwise, you can't handle a Servant like me.


Mash: Sigh...I figured it would end like this.

Mash: But I was kind of ready for it, so it's fine!

Mash: Mash Kyrielight— Ready to go, Master!


Fujimaru 1: Right! Let's beat this goddess, Mash!


Orion: That's the spirit! Let me reintroduce myself then.

Orion: I am the deity of moonlight, the elegant representation of purity, virginity, hunting, and eternity—

Orion: One of the ancient gods of Mt. Olympus! I, the Moon Goddess Artemis, shall test you!

Orion: I hope you do well. Try and beat me, just like my darling did that day♡

--BATTLE--

Artemis: Kyaaahh! You! Beat! Me!

Mash: We did it! A perfect victory, Master! We defeated the Moon Goddess Artemis!

Artemis: (Sob, sob) I told you to fight hard, but you didn't have to hit THAT hard... Oww!

Artemis: Now causality is established. I don't know when we'll meet again.

Artemis: Maybe when we do, I won't remember Mash, or you, Fujimaru.

Artemis: But I have become a part of you. The Moon Goddess shall flow from Olympus to Chaldea.

Mash: No... Goddess Artemis is disappearing...

Artemis: Aww, silly. Next time, just call me Artemis, Mash.

Artemis: This is just a temporary goodbye. I'm sure that before long...we'll see each other again on those familiar seas.

Artemis: Until then, goodbye! It wasn't very long, but I enjoyed our Moon Festival night adventure!

Mash: Artemis...disappeared.


Fujimaru 1: We'll see her again.

Mash: You're right. Even if none of us remember what happened tonight, I'm sure we'll be able to get along.


Fujimaru 2: I hope we can see her again.

Mash: We will. She loves humanity so much. I'm sure we'll see her soon.

Mash: I know she said she didn't like humans, but I'm sure that's just because she can't leave us alone.


Mash: ...The dream is ending. Our night of adventure is coming to a close.

Mash: Good work this time. I'll see you when you wake up, Senpai.