Prologue: The Warring Era of Heroic Spirits

Dr. Roman: An intruder in Chaldea! Again? Where are they from?

Da Vinci: They seem to have directly entered from a different phase space. But this response? I wonder what this is.

Mash: Doctor, is it an emergency? Oh, Senpai, good morning.

Fujimaru 1: You look cheerful again today.

Mash: Yes, of course. It's good to be cheerful. I also had a delicious breakfast today.

Dr. Roman: I think you're acting a little too calm! Greetings are important, but for now, intruder!

Fujimaru 2: What was breakfast?

Mash: Fried eggs, seaweed, and miso soup, with stewed pumpkins for dessert.

Mash: Even rationing out what little we have stored, I believe this was a frugal yet complete meal.

Dr. Roman: Pumpkin, huh. We did harvest a lot, so there is an excess of them.

Dr. Roman: No wait! Intruder, the intruder!

Mash: Oh my, I'll go intercept them right away. Senpai, please do the honors.

Mash: The response was from around here...

Dr. Roman: Mash, behind you!

Mash: Wh–?

H:???: Nobu nobuu!

Mash: ?!?!?!

Dr. Roman: Wha–?

Fujimaru 1: What?

Fujimaru 2: Huh?

H:???: Nobu nobuu!

Mash: What is this thing?

Da Vinci: Be careful, Mash. It may look like a joke, but it's displaying high combat capabilities.

H:???: Nobbuu!

Mash: Master! Look out!

D:???: Stop right there!

H:???: Nobu!?

Mash: W-Who are you?

D:???: Nice to meet you. I'm from Shinsen– Uh... Let's see... Just call me Sakura Saber.

Mash: Sakura... Saber?

Sakura Saber: Yes. I materialized in this world to pursue that mysterious creature...

E:???: Wait, wait, man-slayer! Don't leave me behind!

E:???: Sheesh, my normal self could take them out like it was nothing, but this is rather hard on me...

Mash: U-Um, the two of you are?

E:???: Hmm? Me? I am the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven, Nobu– No, Demon, right! I'm Demon Archer!

Mash: Demon Archer and Sakura Saber... I see.

Dr. Roman: If I could interrupt, I figured out where that thing spawned. It's a different phase space that collided with Chaldea.

Dr. Roman: We have to destroy the source of the problem. Or else, Chaldea will be filled with strange creatures.

Da Vinci: I finished calculating the coordinates for the Rayshift. Go in there and get rid of them quick!

Mash: Understood! I'll hurry over with Senpai! Um, by the way, what will you two do?

Sakura Saber: We're hoping to do the same thing you're trying to do. Please let us come along with you.

Sakura Saber: If that's okay with you? Archer?

Demon Archer: All right, all right. Well, it is our problem and I've grown tired of chasing after them...

Demon Archer: Very well! The Demon King of the Sixth Heaven, Demon Archer will lend you a hand!

Dr. Roman: Anyway, once you all Rayshift, I'll lock the system down.

Dr. Roman: There. Now we can have some peace of mind.

Dr. Roman: By the way, those two Servants... How did they directly materialize into Chaldea?

Da Vinci: Hmm, it looks like we got connected to a strange space by an astronomical probability.

Da Vinci: Look at the conditions they're Rayshifting into. What's this? Phenomena Corruption from another phase space?

Da Vinci: In any case, it's pretty terrible.

Dr. Roman: Wow... What's this? A group of strange creatures, and something else? They're not quite Shadow Servants...

Dr. Roman: ...Either way, I believe Fujimaru will be able to do something about it—

Dr. Roman: —Now it's time for me to go back to bed.

Dr. Roman: I'm sleepy because I was sending messages to Magi☆Mari till really late last night.

Da Vinci: You kept sending her messages and she just kept yelling at you... Is that some sort of punishment?

Dr. Roman: It's not a punishment, it's a reward!

Dr. Roman: Though, I need to take a nap or something to reset my mind and regain my footing...

Fou: Foou!

Dr. Roman: Huh? It's you, Fou. You were left behind? Eh? You had a bad feeling so you didn't want to go?

Fou: Foou...

Mash: Rayshift complete, but... Where are we?

Demon Archer: It seems the Imperial Holy Grail lost control and created a separate dimension within this phase space.

Mash: Imperial... Holy Grail? What is that?

Sakura Saber: We can talk later. They're coming!


Mash: The Grail—is out of control?

Sakura Saber: Yes. There was a Holy Grail War in our world, but the Grail was tampered with by some strange technology.

Sakura Saber: At the end of all that tampering, its power got out of control...

Demon Archer: Unfortunately, I got involved in the accident and my subconscious materialized. It's starting to—corrupt reality.

Demon Archer: Worst of all, it took away most of my power. Originally I should be OP like a Last Boss, but now I'm like a 0.5 star Servant...

Demon Archer: In short, I got nerfed to a level 1 noob.

Fujimaru 1: Star?

Demon Archer: With my power, I should've been a 5-star character. Why did it end up like this...

Fujimaru 2: So you're one of those...

Sakura Saber: I'm sorry our Archer is causing you so much trouble.

Mash: So that indescribable creature is the manifestation of Demon Archer's subconscious and power?

Demon Archer: Y-Yeah. I don't quite understand it myself, but that seems to be the case.

Fujimaru 1: How irresponsible...

Sakura Saber: This has nothing to do with you, I'm sorry that you've gotten involved.

Sakura Saber: It's basically all Archer's fault, so please complain to her as much as you want.

Fujimaru 2: It only has one eye...

Demon Archer: I-It's only being hidden by hair, yes? See, it's just like Mash over there!

Mash: Don't lump me in with that thing!

Mash: By the way, I found this during the earlier battle. ...A bowl? Perhaps? And a steel pot?

Demon Archer: Looks like the magical energy leaking from the Grail copied what's “valuable” in my mind.

Mash: Valuable? A black pot and an old bowl... They don't look like they're that valuable...

Da Vinci: Mash, can I have a look at them? Hmm, hmm...

Da Vinci: What is this? Such dusty looking vessels are valuable in the Far East?

Demon Archer: Rude Westerners! Rikyu will punch you for not understanding value in the simple and subdued!

Da Vinci: Well, even if you claim this is valuable... Wait, now that you mention it...

Da Vinci: —I'm curious! These tea set-like things? My workshop will take them!

Mash: You're interested in them?

Da Vinci: Just look at this black, unsightly teapot! Quality iron, smooth to the touch...

Da Vinci: ...But is super dull in shape and color. Still, I feel like it has an indescribable charm, or maybe not so much?

Fujimaru 1: That's what she meant by “simple and subdued!”

Demon Archer: Oh, you are quite knowledgeable. I'll make you some tea later.

Demon Archer: Let's see, I'll rent out an entire temple somewhere...

Fujimaru 2: Won't it explode?

Sakura Saber: No, no, there is no way a teapot could ever explode.

Demon Archer: You think so?

Mash: I-In any case, let's head towards the center of this Singularity.

Sakura Saber: We somewhat forced your hand for assistance, but I hope we can work together well.

Demon Archer: Right! Let's go, everyone! On to the journey that will unify this nation by force!

Act 1: Sneak Attack!! GUDAGUDA Okehazama

Imagawa Yoshitsune: All right, we'll set up camp here! Ben– I mean, Sessai, prepare for a banquet. In two seconds.

Musashibou Sessai: Two seconds? Oh I'm sorry, right away! Please don't put your hand on your blade.

Musashibou Sessai: However, my lord, camping in a place like this is dangerous. Don't let your guard down.

Imagawa Yoshitsune: I am fully aware of that. After all, I'm a genius. I don't mind danger and stuff.

Imagawa Yoshitsune: If we're attacked, we wake right up and attack back. Enemies can't easily approach an army this size to begin with.

Mini-Nobu: Nobu nobuu!

Imagawa Yoshitsune: See, this mysterious creature says so, too. Ben– I mean, Sessai, you worry too much.

Musashibou Sessai: I see... I hope nothing serious ends up happening...

Mash: Looks like some Servants are bringing those strange creatures along with them...

Demon Archer: Hmm, it seems they brainwash Servants summoned by the Holy Grail, and then they put those Servants to work...

Sakura Saber: Those do look like Heroic Spirits, but something's odd.Maybe some unnecessary factors got mixed in during their summons.

Mash: In any case, it'll be difficult to fight an army that large. What should we do?

Demon Archer: Indeed, this calls for— a night raid, of course!

Fujimaru 1: Night raid?

Demon Archer: That's right! It's the best way for a few to attack many! By the way, when I was young...

Fujimaru 2: That's like Okehazama!

Demon Archer: You study hard, I'm impressed! Yes, with that battle I revealed my intention to unify the nation!

Sakura Saber: I'll catch the enemy's attention. Everyone, ambush the main army when you get the chance!

Demon Archer: Listen to me!

Mash: Sakura Saber, will you be okay going alone?

Sakura Saber: Despite my looks, I'm used to dealing with large groups, and those trivial enemies can't possibly defea...

Sakura Saber: Kugh?! (coughs blood)

Mash: Whaaaaaat?

Fujimaru 1: A-Are you all right!?

Fujimaru 2: MEDIC!

Sakura Saber: D-Don't be alarmed... This is simply a skill of mine...

Sakura Saber: Sometimes I'm unable to act, or I'm defenseless before an enemy. That's all this ability does...

Fujimaru 1: What kind of useless skill is that?

Sakura Saber: (Sob) After all, I'm a useless soldier. Who made the Bakumatsu like that?

Fujimaru 2: I see, that's pretty fatal!

Sakura Saber: It's not as if I like having this skill! I can't remove it even if I wanted to!

???: Hmm? Who's making a fuss over there?

Demon Archer: Come on! See, now they found us because you were making so much noise!

Matsudaira Arash: Are you the insolent bunch after Lord Yoshitsune? You have some nerve attacking an army this large.

Matsudaira Arash: ...But I respect your courage! Therefore I, Matsudaira Arash, the vanguard of this troop,

Matsudaira Arash: the best archer in these seas—no, the best archer in the Orient! —will rain punishment down on you!

Mash: I am so confused right now!


Matsudaira Arash: This isn't good... But it's not over yet...

Matsudaira Arash: I will show you... This attack has all my body and soul poured into it!

Demon Archer: I've got a bad feeling about this... Looks like there's a lot of power going into that.

Mash: A-Anyway, let's run away!

Sakura Saber: Everything's a mess right now, but we have no choice. Run!

Fujimaru 1: Where can we run to?

Fujimaru 2: But that's...

Matsudaira Arash: It's impossible to run from my bow. Its range is 2,500 kilometers!

Demon Archer: That's not a bow anymore!

Imagawa Yoshitsune: The moon is nice tonight, Benkei... I mean, Sessai.

Musashibou Sessai: You ended up saying my whole name, my lord. The moon is indeed lovely, but still...

Imagawa Yoshitsune: Strange people seem to be approaching us... Do you know who they are?

Musashibou Sessai: I wonder if they're the patrol that Matsudaira sent out.

Demon Archer : Move, move! Get out of our way!

Mash: Sorry, we're going to pass through here!

Imagawa Yoshitsune: ...They're gone now. I wonder what that was about?

Imagawa Yoshitsune: So, Benkei... I mean Sessai. There's one more thing I wanted to ask.

Imagawa Yoshitsune: Did we shoot off some fireworks during the feast?

Musashibou Sessai: No, I didn't hear about that...

Imagawa Yoshitsune: Then what's that light streaking across the sky like a shooting star...

Musashibou Sessai: It's shining brightly, like a shooting star indeed.

Matsudaira Arash: Stella—!

Imagawa Yoshitsune: Th-This can't be. This huge army, in an instant... Forgive me, brother, but our dream of resurrecting the Kamakura shogunate is...

Imagawa Yoshitsune: Ah, please stop trying to hit me with a rice spoon from beyond the mountains... (snore)

Musashibou Sessai: That's why I told you not to let your guard down... Anyway, let's get out of here while we're still standing...

Mash: All enemy Servant signatures have vanished...

Sakura Saber: Well, this is kind of...

Fujimaru 1: What a mess...

Fujimaru 2: That's Stella for you...

Demon Archer: It can't be helped!

Act 2: Dashing!! GUDAGUDA Three Line Formation

Takeda Darius: [[File:berserkervoice1.png50px]]–!

Sanada Medusa: Finally the time has come to settle the score, Fool of Owari! ...So my boss says.

Takeda Darius: [[File:berserkervoice2.png50px]]–!

Sanada Medusa: Bare your corpses before the Takeda Cavalry. ...So my boss says.

Demon Archer: But it looks like you're just riding an elephant...

Takeda Darius: [[File:berserkervoice1.png50px]]–!

Sanada Medusa: Don't worry about the details. It'll make you go bald! ...So my boss says.

Demon Archer: You should be the one worrying!


Takeda Darius: [[File:berserkervoice2.png50px]]–!

Sanada Medusa: L-Let's plant our flag in Persia. ...So my boss says.

Sanada Medusa: Oh, I'm done here? Yay...

Mash: W-We managed to defeat them... But it seems like Rider wasn't really that interested in the first place.

Demon Archer: It seemed like my famous cavalry-killing Three Line Formation didn't do that much to Rider?

Mash: Uh, well, that's...

Sakura Saber: Now that you mention it, it seemed like arrows hurt more than usual...

Fujimaru 1: That's just your imagination.

Sakura Saber: Speaking of classes, we haven't heard of yours, Mash.

Mash: You wouldn't see one in a normal Holy Grail War, but... I'm a Shielder, and we focus on defense.

Demon Archer: A class focused on defense. That's unusual. But, your chest does look squishy enough to repel anything I throw at it.

Fujimaru 2: Affinity matters, doesn't it?

Demon Archer: Now that you mention it, Mash doesn't seem to be affected by affinities.

Mash: Right! I'm a Shielder, so you can leave all the defense to me!

Sakura Saber: I'm kind of jealous since I've got a fragile body. Are those boobs the secret to defense?

Mash: That part doesn't matter!

???: Behold! I am the true god of war, Uesugi Altria! Takeda Darius, it's time for our fated duel!

Mash: A new Servant? Master, get ready for battle!

Demon Archer: What? Uesugi? ...Wait, you're a girl? The Dragon of Echigo can't be a girl! Go back and start over!

Sakura Saber: I don't think we can say that...

Uesugi Altria: No, there are theories saying I could be a girl... Anyway... Where is my fated rival, Takeda Darius?

Sakura Saber: Huh? He got eliminated just now...

Uesugi Altria: What! I came all the way from Kasugayama just to fight, and it was all a waste...

Uesugi Altria: I wanted to take Kai's food and eat to my heart's content...

Fujimaru 1: Please leave.

Fujimaru 2: The Warring States economy is so cruel.

Uesugi Altria: Oh... Well, that's just how it goes! For my food... No, for my people!

Uesugi Altria: I'll take your rations instead! I have the divine protection of Vaisravana on my side!

Demon Archer: The Warring States period really was like this! What a pain!


Uesugi Altria: I can't believe I lost... It must be because I stopped myself at only three bowls of rice this morning...

Uesugi Altria: By the way, this is completely unrelated, but I think my shadow is getting...thinner?

Mash: That was a tough battle, Senpai. All the Servants seemed kind of strange...

Fujimaru 1: Yeah, they did.

Fujimaru 2: You just noticed?

E:Demon Archer: It seems like when they were summoned, factors of the generals I considered my enemies were mixed in.

D:Sakura Saber: So it's your fault again...

Dr. Roman: This is bad! Fujimaru, Mash! Get away from there immediately!

Mash: What? What's going on, Doctor?

Dr. Roman: Well, I was a bit groggy when I woke up, and was just casually looking into that space's composition...

Dr. Roman: ...when I discovered a certain particle spreading there.

Dr. Roman: A fascinating, funny particle that infects Servant spirit cores, causing bad stuff to happen!

Mash: Wh-What was that? What kind of “bad stuff” are we talking about?

Dr. Roman: Weakened status, modified memories, damaged spirit core. But out of everything that could happen this is the worst...

Dr. Roman: “You become a disappointment!”

Mash: Huh? A disappointment?

Dr. Roman: Yes, a disappointment.

Mash: N-Now that you mention it, there was that Uesugi and that Imagawa from before...

Mash: This is bad, Senpai! We need to get out of here before we go kaput!

Fujimaru 1: We're going to go kaput?

Mash: That's right! We can't go kaput!

Mash: We might end up like that weird creature!

Fujimaru 2: Mash has already been contaminated...

Mash: Huh? I-Is there something wrong? Anyway, let's go take a bath and wash it off or something!

Mash: Huh? It doesn't seem like Sakura Saber or Demon Archer have changed at all...

E:Demon Archer: Hmm. We haven't changed at all...

D:Sakura Saber: I'm my same old blood-coughing self.

Dr. Roman: Well, maybe you two were already a disappointment to begin with.

Archer & Saber: What? (x2)

Act 3: Predicament!! GUDAGUDA Encircling Net

Shimazu Sétanta: So I guess it's our turn now... But why do I have to be teamed up with you guys?

Chousokabe Emichika: I know it's a Servant's job to obey once summoned, but I would have loved the chance to refuse this time around...

Mouri Medinari: That's what I wanted to say! And what's up with this weird space? The flow of magical energy coming from the Grail is really strange.

Mouri Medinari: The Grail's being used for something unnecessary again. Don't you want to have a proper Holy Grail War?

Chousokabe Emichika: As expected of a witch from the Age of Gods. You've seen through this trickery?

Mouri Medinari: Of course. ...Not that I can do anything about it, though.

Mouri Medinari: You know how there's supposedly a familiar made from the flesh of corpses?

Mouri Medinari: Flesh...enstein, was it? That is what's happening with the Grail this time.

Mouri Medinari: A lot of things got tampered with, and it turned into something weird...

Shimazu Sétanta: It's a pain. Anyway, it seems like they're coming. Do you have a plan?

Mouri Medinari: Well first, Lancer... Shimazu Sétanta, was it? I want you to lure the enemy in.

Shimazu Sétanta: You want me to be bait? Leave it to me. But...Why am I the only one with a childhood name...

Mouri Medinari: At least that's your real name! What's up with my Mouri or whatever?

Mouri Medinari: A general from the Warring States period? What's that? I don't know anything about the history of the Far East!

Chousokabe Emichika: Hm, a grand strategist and the Witch of Betrayal. The Grail certainly made strange pairings.

Mouri Medinari: You there, don't look like you understand everything.

Mouri Medinari: I want you to hit enemies lured in from the sides. An ambush, basically.

Chousokabe Emichika: So it's like a guerilla attack. How clever. You're getting accustomed to this strategist thing, aren't you, Caster?

Shimazu Sétanta: —So what are you going to do, Caster?

Mouri Medinari: Me? I'm just a weak witch and waifu, right? I won't be joining in trivial matters like that.

Mouri Medinari: Though I could charge my NP super fast and go nuts with my Rule Breaker...

Mouri Medinari: I mean, apparently my younger version is getting summoned and taking the spotlight.

Mouri Medinari: This time I'd like to keep my sweet, ladylike image.

Mouri Medinari: Though I'm still pretty young, you know?

Shimazu Sétanta: Okay, this is getting too long! Let's go!

Mini-Nobu: Nobu, nobu!

Chousokabe Emichika: Ah, be careful, Lancer. By the way, is that creature a dude?

Shimazu Sétanta: Anyway, give me your hearts!

Demon Archer: What! My heart?

Mash: It hasn't been taken yet! Anyway, we need to intercept them! Huh? Where's Sakura Saber?

Sakura Saber: Sorry, I'm feeling sick today... Cough!

Mash: This is bad! Without Saber, fighting a Lancer class is going to be difficult!

Dr. Roman: Sakura Saber's really difficult to deal with...

Fujimaru 1: You're talking kinda funny!

Dr. Roman: You're right. What should I do? I know! Let's ask Magi☆Mari! (Escape from reality)

Fujimaru 2: Even the Doctor's been contaminated...

Dr. Roman: Chaldea should have been quarantined... Da Vinci, please make a vaccine!

Demon Archer: You unreliable man-slayer... Huh? What? What's going on? He's running away.

Shimazu Sétanta: They have more people than our scout reported! I need to pull back for now.

Mash: I don't really get it, but this is our chance! Let's go after him, Senpai!

Fujimaru 1: All right! After him!

Mash: Mash Kyrielight, charging in!

Mash: Oh, I'll carry Sakura Saber on my back.

Sakura Saber: ...Thanks for always helping me, Mash.

Mash: This is the first time!

Fujimaru 2: I've got a bad feeling about this...

Demon Archer: Oh, shut it. Follow me!

Demon Archer: Hurry up and recover, man-slayer, or you're going to get labeled a useless Servant!

Sakura Saber: Strong Servant, weak Servant. That's up to them...

Sakura Saber: A truly strong Master will... (Cough!)

Mash: Anyway, please get some rest!

Shimazu Sétanta: Oh, so they actually managed to catch up...

Demon Archer: Hahahaha! We've got you now, Shimazu... or whatever your name is! Now prepare yourself!

Shimazu Sétanta: Yea, I think— You're the ones who need to prepare yourselves.

Mash: What? We're being hit! From where?

Chousokabe Emichika: Looks like Lancer led you right into our trap. Time to show you the power of an Archer.

Chousokabe Emichika: Trace on! Broken Phantasm: Shoot!

Chousokabe Emichika: When am I going to use this bow? That'd be right now! Fiiiiiish!

Demon Archer: What is this rain of arrows? Is it an ambush? Oh, so when you ambush someone you want to...

Mash: This is no time for explanations! We're not in some kind of seminar!

Mouri Medinari: Ha, ha, ha. You dummies fell right into my plan. Good work, Lancer! I'll buy you some bread later.

Shimazu Sétanta: Are you treating me like a kid? Get something with yakisoba in it. Nothing spicy!

Shimazu Sétanta: ...You guys should be more cautious. Me running away should've alerted you.

Demon Archer: How could I be so careless... There's been no greater shame since Kanegasaki, Nagamasa...

Chousokabe Emichika: Looks like you've given up. What are you planning on doing with them, Caster?

Mouri Medinari: Let's see... What should we do with them?

Mash: I'm sorry, Senpai... If only Sakura Saber could fight with us...

Fujimaru 1: Don't give up!

Mash: Do you have a plan that could get us out of this?

Demon Archer: Well if Monkey or Micchi were here, we could leave this to them and run away...

Fujimaru 2: How do you feel?

Sakura Saber: ... (Dead silent)

Demon Archer: No response. She's on her last legs.

Demon Archer: Looks like we got a faulty Saber. Thanks for your service.

Mouri Medinari: Hahahahaha! Before Mouri Medinari, you're like a moth drawn to a flame!

Mouri Medinari: ...Am I playing the bad guy role a bit too heavy?

Sakura Saber: ...Mouri?

Shimazu Sétanta: You were always the bad guy.

Shimazu Sétanta: In any case, I guess my role here as Shimazu or whatever is over.

Sakura Saber: ...Shimazu?

Chousokabe Emichika: I have no clue why I ended up as Chousokabe, but I guess that's the way it goes.

Sakura Saber: ...Chousokabe... Tosa?

Mash: ...What? Sakura Saber is...

Sakura Saber: Uuuoohhhh!

Sakura Saber: ...With sadness and misplaced anger giving me power, I shall now don the haori of my oath!

Sakura Saber: Satsuma and Choshu shall die! No mercy!

Mouri Medinari: Huh? Satsuma and Choshu? What's that? This girl is completely different now! I'm scared!

Demon Archer: I shall explain!

Mash: Eek! That caught me off guard!

Demon Archer: This feeble man-slayer, known as Sakura Saber... Her True Name echoed through the streets of Kyoto at the end of the shogunate.

Demon Archer: The one who swore to kill all Satsuma and Choshu... The captain of the Shinsengumi's First Unit, Okita Souji!

Dr. Roman: All of a sudden you reveal her True Name?

Dr. Roman: So you mean Okita Souji is a girl? Though, I guess I'm used to that by now!

Mash: I'm not really knowledgeable about that era, but is she a famous Heroic Spirit, Senpai?

Fujimaru 1: Pretty famous in Japan.

Fujimaru 2: Wow, a girl, no way. (lifeless)

Demon Archer: By the way, my True Name is Oda No–

Demon Archer: It's finally time to pay Satsuma and Choshu back for Toba-Fushimi, Mr. Kondou!

Demon Archer: Yes! Also, I can't really forgive Tosa, either!

Chousokabe Emichika: There's the Satcho Alliance too, so that can't be helped. But, I am the one that's troubled for being called Chousokabe.

Okita Souji: Shinsengumi's First Unit Captain, Okita Souji! Here I come!


Mouri Medinari: Ah... The old me is so pitiful it hurts...

Shimazu Sétanta: Oh my mentor, I'm sorry... By the way, that bodysuit...

Chousokabe Emichika: Indeed, this is a bit stranger than expected...

Okita Souji: Haaah, haaah... I-I did it, Mr. Hijikata... (Passes out)

Mash: When Sakura Saber... I mean, when Okita donned her haori, she was ferocious, huh, Senpai?

Fujimaru 1: As expected of the genius swordsman.

Mash: If she was in the First Squad, does that mean there were other powerful swordsmen in the Shinsengumi?

Fujimaru 2: She collapsed again...

Mash: Hang in there, Okita! Have this Golden Fruit!

Demon Archer: By the way, you're not interested in my True Name? I'm super famous in the Far East.

Demon Archer: It's hard, you know, being such a popular Heroic Spirit! Everybody wants a piece of me.

Mash: Oh, it's time for lunch, Senpai. I packed us some.

Demon Archer: Guess nobody cares, huh?

Act 4: Overwhelming Victory!! GUDAGUDA Tenka Fubu

Demon Archer: I'm getting tired of this, actually...

Mash: But that's so irresponsible!

Okita Souji: This is all your fault to begin with, so you'd better see it till the end!

Mash: Okita, what was your relationship like with Demon Archer in your home world?

Demon Archer: I don't know what to say... She's annoying. Especially when she warps around.

Okita Souji: Look who's talking!

Okita Souji: If you hadn't tried to convert the Grail into a bomb, this never would've happened!

Mash: You turned the Grail—into a bomb!?

Demon Archer: Yes, I planned to use it as a superweapon to turn things around.

Demon Archer: But I screwed up and fell headfirst into the reactor core as it was reconstructing...

Demon Archer: Because of that, my powers were taken and weird creatures were born. It's unbelievable.

Mash: I don't understand, but now I know that you were up to some crazy things...

Okita Souji: Oh, we made it here while she was blabbing. This is the heart of this Singularity, Osaka... I think?

Demon Archer: This is clearly some European town...

???: Fwahahaha! Welcome, mongrels!

Mash: Th-This voice!

Toyotomi Gilyoshi: It is I, Toyotomi Gilyoshi! King of Heroes and ruler of Zipangu, the Land of Gold!

Toyotomi Gilyoshi: All the treasures of this world, be they gold, or really nice tea sets, are all mine, hah!

Dr. Roman: Man, this situation is really getting out of hand. “Hah?”

Demon Archer: Hmm... He kind of reminds me of Monkey.

Toyotomi Gilyoshi: Don't be mistaken, mongrels. This amount of mud won't even shake my being! I'm here on a different matter!

Mash: A different matter?

Toyotomi Gilyoshi: I won't allow you to forget! I'm speaking of the time I bestowed treasures upon you! I offered you the finest gifts...

Toyotomi Gilyoshi: ...yet you mongrels greedily said how Rome's was better, or how you wanted the Dark ones!

Toyotomi Gilyoshi: I wanted those too! I... I suffered too... I suffered greatly.

Toyotomi Gilyoshi: Why... Why didn't anyone... come to my 10 Summons...

Dr. Roman: He said it wasn't going to shake his being, but things have become disappointing for the King of Heroes.

Toyotomi Gilyoshi: I won't give up. Some things are beautiful because you don't own them. Heh, that's the healthy way to look at it.

Toyotomi Gilyoshi: Now I build my power to prepare for the next event.

Toyotomi Gilyoshi: I'm gathering gold and plain tea sets from this country, so that next time I can show people who the true king is!

Fujimaru 1: Man, this is... Yeah.

Fujimaru 2: Give me a 5-star next time!

Mash: Calm down Senpai! I don't know what the King of Heroes is talking about...

Mash: ...But since he seems like the last boss, let's defeat him and go home to sleep!

Mash: To be honest, I'm getting tired. In more ways than one!

Toyotomi Gilyoshi: Hmph. I am the sun itself, yet you point your blade at me, mongrel? Very well, Hanbei, Kanbei. Give me a plan!

Takenaka Andersen: I ain't got one, moron. What's with this low-quality world setting!

Takenaka Andersen: It doesn't make any sense! I told them not to make a 2D show into a 3D movie!

Kuroda Mephisto: Such a shame! Such an awful, terrible shame! But, this is a rare chance, right?

Kuroda Mephisto: In Asia we say, “Dance or explode, fellow idiots!” So let's take this chance to go boom!

Kuroda Mephisto: Huh? Have I not been showing up as often lately? Aww, you're kidding me!

Kuroda Mephisto: Don't you think Christmas Mephisto might just have a shot of happening?

Mash: No, I do not!


Toyotomi Gilyoshi: I can't believe I lost... My body falls and disappears with the dew...

Toyotomi Gilyoshi: Uruk is just a dream within a dream... Act now to...become an Uruk citizen... (dies)

Takenaka Andersen: Okay, we're done. Now my role is finished here.

Takenaka Andersen: I liked the sound of “Takenaka Andersen” so I played along, but I'm sick of that laughing idiot's voice.

Takenaka Andersen: This whole Japan setting is bad news, anyway. I might run into some crazy nun at any moment.

Takenaka Andersen: Make sure you guys don't do this too much, okay? These marathons are best if you don't do them for too long.

Kuroda Mephisto: A shame! A disappointment! Still, the famed fairy tale author sure is nice, huh?

Kuroda Mephisto: I'm not exactly sure who was talking there, but I'll offer you this tea pot as a present.

Mash: Thank you very kindly...

Kuroda Mephisto: The simple and subdued culture of the Far East fascinates me! Exploding tea pots! How eccentric!

Kuroda Mephisto: Let's all count down together! Three, two, one!

Mash: What? This explodes? Wh-What do we do Senpai?

Fujimaru 1: Get down!

Mash: Right! Senpai, hurry and get behind my shield! Hold me close! As close as you can!

Fujimaru 2: Throw it away!

Mash: R-Right! I will throw this as far as I, Mash Kyrielight, possibly can!

Demon Archer: Don't worry, only Matsunaga's teapot explodes. Yoink! ...Yep, seems it's the core of that transformed Grail.

Demon Archer: Now my power will return, and we'll be all set...

Mash: Huh? Archer?

Okita Souji: Archer... You can't be!

Demon Archer?: Indeed... Everything is according to keikaku...

Final Act: Up in Flames!! GUDAGUDA Honnoji

Demon Archer: Fwahahahaha! I commend you for your efforts!

Demon Archer: Everything is according to keikaku! This whole thing was my idea!

Demon Archer: Twelve Servant sacrifices to the Grail! I've regained my power!

Demon Archer: I'll use the power of the Grail to make this space mine, and then make my way to your world!

Fujimaru 1: You tricked us!?

Mash: No way! I mean, I kind of saw it coming?

Oda Nobunaga: Now I shall reveal my True Name! I am Oda Nobunaga, Demon King of the Sixth Heaven!

Mash: Oh, we knew that.

Fujimaru 2: Nobbu, why...

Oda Nobunaga: Indeed, I am the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven, Oda Nobu–

Mash: Oh, we knew that.

Oda Nobunaga: Huh? How did you know?

Okita Souji: You introduced yourself during lunch, even though nobody asked you.

Oda Nobunaga: Huh? What was I doing?

???: Hah! You've shown yourself, then!

Mash: This voice!

Oda Nobunaga : That's right, it's me!

Mash: Two... Nobunagas?

Fujimaru 1: What's going on?

Fujimaru 2: This mess has reached its peak.

E:Oda Nobunaga: Actually, I went to the bathroom after lunch, and someone attacked me from behind!

E:Oda Nobunaga: The next thing I knew I was tied up behind the bathroom, but I managed to escape.

E:Oda Nobunaga: In other words, the person that's been with you since lunch is a fake!

C:Oda Nobunaga: Damn you, you're just half of me yet you're so persistent! My plan was to defeat the real me so I can become the real me!

Okita Souji: I see. Thanks for the explanation.

Okita Souji: I think I understand, but I'm still not sure who's talking.

Mash: Why don't we just call them Good Nobbu and Bad Nobbu, so we can tell who's who?

Fujimaru 1: Yeah, that might be a good idea...

Fujimaru 2: Can I just tap SKIP?

Bad Nobbu: What? It's not fair to call me the bad one! I'm the same as her!

Good Nobbu: I win! I'm the good Nobbu! I have finally unified this nation by force!

Good Nobbu: The battle's as good as won! Surrender, Bad Nobbu!

Bad Nobbu: Don't be a goody-goody! I come from you, so you're Bad Nobbu too!

Good Nobbu: No way! You left me, so now I'm 100% Good Nobbu!

Bad Nobbu: Curse you! You can't talk your way out of this, Good Nobbu! You're definitely worse than me!

Good Nobbu: BZZT! Wrong! I can't believe how dumb and bad I am.

Okita Souji: Could both of you shut up, please?

Bad Nobbu: Fine, I'll show you what makes Bad Nobbu so good at being bad!

Bad Nobbu: No matter how well Good Nobbu talks, I've got most of the power!

Bad Nobbu: Now—I shall burn the world and its gods to ash! For I am Oda Nobunaga, Demon King of the Sixth Heaven!

Bad Nobbu: FWAHAHAHAHA! Kneel before the power that slays even gods!

Good Nobbu: Damn you, Bad Nobbu! Everyone! Band together and help me defeat my evil side!

Fujimaru 1: Yay! Last battle time!

Okita Souji: Yes! I'm starting to run low on magical energy and could disappear at any moment, so I'm glad.

Good Nobbu: Your body's way too weak!

Fujimaru 2: Is there a way to defeat both of them?

Okita Souji: What? I never thought of that. That's perfect! Brilliant!

Good & Bad Nobbu: Huh?

Mash: A-Anyway, let's just beat the bad Nobunaga!


Bad Nobbu: D-Damn you, Good Nobbu... But I have not lost to you!

Bad Nobbu: I lost to the good Nobbu that's inside my heart! I will appear again... Yes...

Bad Nobbu: When you forget to be grateful to the land for its blessings!

Mash: She said something ominous and disappeared. I suppose that means mission complete?

Fujimaru 1: Yeah. Let's go home.

Mash: We picked up many tea sets along the way. I'm sure that will make Da Vinci happy.

Fujimaru 2: That felt like forever.

Mash: Yes, it was long in a lot of ways... Oh, we need to take back all these tea sets.

Dr. Roman: Yeah, looks like this space is starting to fall apart. Be careful on your way back.

Oda Nobunaga (Real): Hmmm, my power has fully returned, it seems.

Oda Nobunaga (Real): ...Fwahahaha! Now I'm really, really done with you...

Okita Souji: I'm sure we've had enough of that.

Okita Souji: Oh, everyone, thank you for your help. Next time, please come visit us in our world.

Okita Souji: We're in the middle of a big war, though.

Oda Nobunaga: Indeed, our worlds were not meant to intertwine, but I've taken a liking to you!

Oda Nobunaga: If you ever summon me, the power of the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven shall be at your disposal!

Okita Souji: Yes, but that probability is most likely very low...

Okita Souji: ...But if it ever happens, Fujimaru, I shall lend you my blade!

Fujimaru 1: Yeah, thanks!

Fujimaru 2: Summon... Probability... Ugh, my head...

Mash: Goodbye Okita, Nobunaga! The takuan we had for lunch was delicious!

Okita Souji: Hehe, I hope we meet again someday!

Oda Nobunaga: Yes, it wasn't for long, but you commanded well. Goodbye, Fujimaru! Farewell!

Mash: —That was pretty rough, huh, Senpai?

Fujimaru 1: It felt like it was a dream.

Mash: What do you think they're doing now?

Mash: I'm curious what happened to the Imperial Holy Grail, too.

Fujimaru 2: Yeah, it was such a mess.

Mash: Yes, I'm glad I didn't turn into a weird creature and go...

Mash: Mash-Mash!

Mash: Like they did.

Mash: What's this?

Oda Nobunaga: Hey! How've you guys been?

Mash: Nobunaga?

Okita Souji: It's been a while, everyone. This time, my evil heart has gone out of control...

Mash: Leave!

Fujimaru 1: Give me a break...

Fujimaru 2: It's a mess until the very end...

Okita Souji: I'm really sorry for everything.

Oda Nobunaga: It can't be helped!