Adventure of Singing Pumpkin Castle

Prelude

Mash: Good morning, Senpai. I know you just woke up, but an invitation has arrived for you.

Mash: Here you go. The envelope is traditional looking, and extremely formal.

Mash: There's no return address on it but clearly this is Senpai's name on the envelope.

Mash: From the heading, it appears to be an invitation to a Halloween party.


Fujimaru 1: Halloween! Is it already that time?

Mash: Yes. It is, indeed, that russet-colored season now. In Japan, it's the time for viewing autumn foliage.


Fujimaru 2: What's Halloween?

Mash: You're not familiar with it?

Mash: It was originally a year's end celebration in Celtic culture, but it changed over time to become All Hallow's Eve...

Mash: It's now a celebration put on the night before people offer up prayers to saints.

Mash: Though, I haven't actually experienced a Halloween celebration...


Mash: The bigger problem is the invitation itself, Senpai.

Dr. Roman: I happened to overhear your conversation. A Halloween celebration, you say?

Dr. Roman: Sounds fun! I love festive events like that! Back when the Director was with us, she would never approve such things...


Fujimaru 1: ...That's [♂ kinda /♀ a little] inappropriate, Doctor.

Dr. Roman: Oh... I guess it was. Sorry, that was my bad. I'll be more careful from now on.

Mash: The Doctor didn't mean any harm, Senpai. Words just never go through his brain, as usual.

Dr. Roman: I feel absolutely ashamed... The greatest flaw of a science otaku is the utter lack of delicacy.

Dr. Roman: I really need to spend more time paying my respects to the late Director. This time I will put more time and emotion into it...


Fujimaru 2: The Director is still alive.

Dr. Roman: Huh?! She's alive?! Ah, I see. You mean she lives in our heart.

Dr. Roman: After all, I feel the same way.

Dr. Roman: I never fail to clean the Director's Office, and I make daily offerings with her favorite dried fruit.

Dr. Roman: You know what, I think that tonight, I'll put up some pumpkin decorations in the Director's Office.

Dr. Roman: Although, Olga Marie never admits when she likes something. She'll probably say something like, “What are these useless things?!”


Dr. Roman: ...Okay, I need to stop. It's a celebration, and here I am dampening the mood with my talk.

Dr. Roman: Ahem! All right, let's turn this mood around—

Dr. Roman: But really, Fujimaru! You're a smooth one, scoring an invitation like that!

Dr. Roman: Who could it be from? I certainly don't recall sending you that.

Mash: I didn't send it either, Doctor. But if neither you nor I sent it, that means...

Dr. Roman: Undoubtedly, this is some kind of mischief. After all, letters from the outside world can't be delivered here.

Mash: In any case, Senpai, let's read the invitation.

Mash: Please rest assured that it is free of razor blades or any other dangerous items.

Letter: Dear Fujimaru, I am writing to inform you of a splendid Halloween party that is to take place.

Letter: My little Castle Csejte is now completely remodeled!

Letter: You'll be swallowed up in classic and dragonic decor☆

Letter: I hereby humbly invite you to a dream-like night of elegance and wonder.

Letter: At the party, you will find splendid pumpkin cuisine from the four corners of the world,

Letter: as well as a splendid serenade from an adorable idol, a sweet serenade from a young girl that will set your heart on fire,

Letter: and a serenade that's sung by an unparalleled diva. It all awaits you.

Letter: Indeed, it shall be a grand ball that could set any soul alight. It will surely sink its teeth into your heart and savor it as well.

Letter: Both your mind and body will have a deluxing experience! Won't you come and bask in the spectacular sensation of being mired in a nightmare?

Letter: The theme is, “Sweet Blood Märchen Torture.” I eagerly await your attendance.

Letter: —Be sure to come, okay?

Dr. Roman: That is horrible!

Mash: The fact that she emphasizes singing three times seems unbearably sinister to me.

Mash: ...Senpai, what shall we do?


Fujimaru 1: This “deluxing” is supposed to be “relaxing,” isn't it?

Mash: You're right. I wonder if she wrote it out of excitement or if she didn't know what she was saying.


Fujimaru 2: So this “torture” bit is...

Mash: She really means “torture.” To translate it accurately, it would be “Sweet, blood-covered, fairy tale-like, and torturous.”


Mash: There's no signature on the invitation, but... Based on the content of the note, I have a good idea who sent it.

Mash: A Servant who loves to sing... Loves to daydream... And also enjoys blood and torture. It could only be...


Fujimaru 1: Elisabeth...


Fujimaru 2: Bátho...


Dr. Roman: No, you must not utter another syllable. To speak her name is to summon her, Fujimaru!

Dr. Roman: Just as speaking the truth isn't always the best idea, spotting a disaster before it happens doesn't necessarily mean you can prevent it.

Mash: So—precisely what are you trying to say, Doctor?

Dr. Roman: Well... If you can't avoid a dangerous situation, it's easier to charge in without a second thought!

Dr. Roman: That philosophy has gotten me through most problems or troubles that I've encountered.

Fou: Fou, fooooooou!

Mash: Let's just ignore Doctor's advice. He doesn't understand human emotion whatsoever...

Mash: ...Senpai. Are you planning to respond to the invitation?

Mash: I've...never experienced an event of this kind, so I am interested, I suppose...

Dr. Roman: Oh, the residual Spiritron information on this letter indicates its point of origin.

Dr. Roman: You could go anytime you want... So what will you do, Fujimaru?


Fujimaru 1: Mash, let's go to the party together!

Mash: Of course! I look forward to your guidance and support!


Fujimaru 2: As a matter of fact, I happen to love pumpkins.

Dr. Roman: Oh dear, you're not very honest, are you? But, if you love pumpkins so much, I suppose you'd better go.

Dr. Roman: She seems to have gathered some good materials. I'll join you as well.


Mash: Then let's head out to the theme park of our dreams - a Halloween party!

Mash: ...Um. We should bring lunch with us, shouldn't we?

Section 1: Haunted Forest

Mash: We've arrived. The time period is unknown but the location appears to be somewhere in Europe.

Mash: That said... It feels both a bit frightening and yet fun, somehow. How odd.

Mash: There are jack-o'-lanterns hanging all over the place, and all the skeletons are dancing about.

Fou: Fou, fooou! Fa!

Dr. Roman: It's a much grander setup than I imagined... Perhaps I underestimated her...

Mash: Yes... Since this is Miss Ba...ry we're talking about, I thought she'd be more of a paper decorations kind of girl...

Dr. Roman: Seems like we might need to pay extra attention here.

Dr. Roman: I'm picking up some weak hostile signatures here and there. There's no telling what could happen here. Be on your guard as you investigate.

Mash: Right, this was totally unexpected, so it's sure to be more than we bargained for!

Mash: Now, let's go, Master!

Mash: All that glitters isn't gold, but when in Rome, do as the Romans do, they say!

???: Leave it there... Leave it there... Leave some AP or stones and stuff there...

Mash: Hmmph! So a ghost-type is the first up, I see... How typical.

Mash: It's far from surprising, but well, I suppose it is what it is. It's the most basic of basics in a haunted house scenario.

Mash: On second thought, this could be fun. Senpai, quickly now! It's time for some ghost-busting!

--BATTLE--

Mash: I'm not picking up any more enemies nearby. Those must've just been some strays.

Mash: I suppose that's the quality of enemies you get right at the entrance. We need to find the real deal as soon as possible—

Mash: Um, shouldn't we head toward that totally suspicious-looking castle over there, Master?


Fujimaru 1: That castle... An evil castle of blood... Ugh, my head!

Fou: Fooou...

Dr. Roman: I understand how you feel. Do you need a tranquilizer?


Fujimaru 2: You're in high spirits, aren't you, Mash?

Mash: Yes, absolutely! Uh, I mean... Of course I am, since this is our work and all.

Mash: I wasn't hoping it would be like going to a real theme park or anything, um, definitely not!


Dr. Roman: Huh? ...Hmmm... That's odd. Maybe this gauge is broken...

Mash: Doctor? In your professional opinion, did you notice something odd about that ghost just now?

Dr. Roman: Eh, not really. It was probably my imagination. Just forget it.

Dr. Roman: (A nearby tremor in the Singularity... Really. It couldn't be. Hmmm, I'll just pretend I didn't see anything.)

Dr. Roman: You kids just go on enjoying yourselves. You'd best head to the castle first, like the invitation said.

Mash: Of course we will! Let's head for the pumpkin village just beyond the forest!

???: Eh heh heh, eh heh heh heh heh... Eh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh...

???: I... ...'ve?

???: fo... ...und

???: you ☆

Fou: ...Fou? (Turns around, feeling a sudden cold chill)

Section 2: I Will Come to Your Side, I Have Come

Mash: It's further than I expected, but this town certainly looks more impressive than I imagined.

Mash: What do you think, Master? If you like, we could pause here for a moment to rest.


Fujimaru 1: That sounds good.

Mash: All right then. Doctor, we're going to take a short break.


Fujimaru 2: It'd be nice to eat some pumpkin pie.

Mash: !!! Good thinking, Senpai.

Mash: As good as being chosen by Weekly Halloween Magazine to receive the title of “This Autumn's Number One Master,” maybe?


Dr. Roman: Hmmm, I'm not detecting any enemies near you. Looks like you should be able to relax for a bit.

Mash: All right, it's time for our homemade lunch then. Here's to our super lunchtime!

Kiyohime: My, how valiant. In that case, shall I lay out a blanket to sit on?

Mash: Ah, good idea. Please do.

Kiyohime: There you are, Master. Please have a seat. Here, these are homemade grilled rice balls.


Fujimaru 1: Thanks.


Kiyohime: And here is some tea.


Fujimaru 1: It's delicious!


Kiyohime: Oh, you're too kind...


Fujimaru 1: By the way...


Kiyohime: Yes? What is it?


Fujimaru 1: What are you doing here?


Mash: Now that you mention it... Why are you here, Kiyohime?

Fou: Fofooooou!

Kiyohime: Oh my, I would've thought one's wife would naturally always be at one's side.

Kiyohime: I went to the trouble of hiding for him in a box tied with a bow, but my silly husband is just so indifferent.

Kiyohime: Then he went and fell for that unspeakably shady invitation. As your loving wife, I couldn't sit by and do nothing.

Mash: How odd. Somehow, it feels as though the words I'm hearing and the actual written words are fatally irreconcilable.

Fou: Fou...

Kiyohime: And that, basically, is why I've come here. Fear not, I shall guard you flawlessly.

Kiyohime: Yes, 24 hours a day, from head to toe, from all directions, without a second's hesitation.

Kiyohime: Go on now, let the fanfare sound! For “Kiyohime is now your wife!”


Fujimaru 1: Thanks for your continued support.


Kiyohime: Ohhh, you're so cold! But it's part of your charm, eh heh heh heh heh...

Dr. Roman: Well, I'm overwhelmed with anxiety for your future, but what do you think, Mash?

Mash: For once, I'm actually in agreement with you, Doctor...

Kiyohime: Oh my, it seems something is nearby. Now then, Master, let us hold hands and go forth on a “honeymoon.”


Fujimaru 1: That was way too forced.


Kiyohime: Tee-hee☆

--BATTLE--

Kiyohime: I might or might not have heard about skulls being used as wonder drugs...

Kiyohime: Master, would you care to use one?


Fujimaru 1: Absolutely not.


Fujimaru 2: No, thank you.


Kiyohime: I suppose not. Shall we depart?

E:???: Heh, heh, heh... It seems my next guest has finally come.

F:???: Hee, hee, hee, the next guest is no one special. All the most important guests seem to have arrived.

F:???: Which is why this will be my very first and last love song. Hmm, how melancholy.

F:???: However, I doubt this is the last fool to come. Oh fleeting Master, shall I just call you Oxygen?

E:???: Oxy... What? Truly, you say the strangest things sometimes...

E:???: Anyways, even if this is both my first and last, that makes it all the more real for little ol' me!

E:???: All the preparations are complete for me to make my grand entrance, right?

F:???: Leave it to me, the food's all cooked! It's my seven-spice blend chicken-turkey! It's delicious!

E:???: Impressive... I hired you under the exaggerated boast that you were an all-powerful maid, but it seems you actually are all-powerful...

E:???: Ah, but little ol' me will handle the main dish. Be sure to leave some for me.

F:???: Le...Leave that? Severed...meal? And... What meat now? Stop using all these hard words, you lizard.

F:???: But somehow, I understood it all. It's my habit to eat every bit of my breakfast. Namu Amida Butsu.

E:???: Namu... What?

F:???: It's a fancy phrase in Japan.

F:???: I use it to mean, “Please forgive my brutality and depravity, for I am naught but a brutish beast.”

E:???: ...You're pretty knowledgeable sometimes, you know...

E:???: Well, anyways. Has everyone been dispatched?

F:???: Good to go. Surrounded on all sides. You'll wait here with all the grace of a proper castle master, won't you?

E:???: Yes, that way I can enjoy this banquet to the fullest.

E:???: ... ...

E:???: Wait, I do have some free time after all... Maybe little ol' me ought to go and meet them too?

F:???: Hmm, I'll kill you then?

E:???: I-I was just joking! Joking! I just thought I'd try!

Section 3: The Woman of Mirage

Mash: Senpai, I'm sensing a Servant.

Kiyohime: Yes. Make sure you stay behind me, my husband.

Mash: Um, did you just say “my husband?”

Kiyohime: I did. Why?

Mash: Oh, um... No... I was just wondering if that was the right term...

Dr. Roman: By the way, the original Japanese for husband means “a person who looks after you,” so I think it's okay to use for either a man or a woman.

Dr. Roman: Isn't that great, Fujimaru?


Fujimaru 1: No, no, no.


E:???: La-la-lah♪

E:???: It's a lovely night, isn't it everyone? A young, sweet night. Are you a young, bitter [♂ man /♀ woman], I wonder?

Kiyohime: I-I sense a wicked woman! Get back, my husband! Get a billion miles back!


Fujimaru 1: Yup, sounds like a great idea.

Dr. Roman: Heh, you just want to get away from Kiyohime, don't you?

Kiyohime: Say that again?

Dr. Roman: Nothing! Nothing!


Fujimaru 2: I won't be able to come back, though.

Kiyohime: Oh, you're so shy, Master... No matter how far away you are, I'll always come get you♡

Fou: Fou... Fooouu...

Mash: “This is bad, like Anchin bad...” Is that what you said?

Mash: That won't do, Fou. Even if it's something everybody knows, this is where you keep quiet.


E:???: Oh my, hehehe! What cute guests we have!

E:???: Welcome to our fantastic Halloween party! My name is Mata Hari.

Mata Hari: We have quite the party lined up for you tonight. I hope you enjoy yourselves.

Mata Hari: I'll get things started off with a dance. One moment... (Strip, strip)

Kiyohime: !?

Fou: Doufo—u?!

Mash: Wait a second! Why are you taking off your clothes!?

Mata Hari: Well, that is my specialty.

Kiyohime: Ahhhh! Indecent! Filthy! Lewd!

Kiyohime: M-M-M-M-M-My husband! I will slay this indecent woman! How dare she show her bare skin!

Mata Hari: Oh my, oh my! Hehehe, if you prefer to do it that way, that's quite fine.

Dr. Roman: ...Tch. (Silently deactivates recording mode.)

Mash: Doctor?

Dr. Roman: I didn't do anything. Not a thing. Unfortunately, it's time for combat.

Dr. Roman: Every party needs dancers. Everyone, fight to your heart's content!

--BATTLE--

Mata Hari: Is the opening act done yet? It's my turn now.

Mata Hari: Behold the power of Mata Hari, the woman with the Eyes of the Sun! ...I guess that's a good opening.

--BATTLE--

Mata Hari: Oh my, I lost. You may proceed.

Mata Hari: There's still much more song and dance for you to enjoy!

Mata Hari: Deluxe to your heart's content!

Mash: Servant Assassin has retreated.

Mash: ...Good. It appears the party's just getting started.

Kiyohime: Should I make my wedding reception something like this?


Fujimaru 1: I-I don't know...

Kiyohime: Get your act together. This isn't just my problem, you know?


Fujimaru 2: I'd like a quiet ceremony.

Kiyohime: Oh my! I was just thinking the same thing!

Kiyohime: I was just about to say that I didn't want a flashy ceremony!


Dr. Roman: My, there's certainly a sense of hopeless despair in knowing that the result will always be the same, huh Fujimaru!

Section 4: Queen of Blood-Soaked Tomatoes

E:???: Oh my... What a pain.

E:???: Why do I have to clean my own castle?

E:???: This isn't... This isn't a job for nobility! Argh! Out, damned spot! It's not coming out!

E:???: I keep rubbing it and rubbing it, but it's like a pig who won't squeal no matter how much you whip it!

Mash: ...There she is, Senpai! It's the wicked witch from the fairy tales!

Fou: Fou, fooouu!


Fujimaru 1: Shh! Be quiet, Mash!


Fujimaru 2: You seem happy, Mash.


Mash: Oh... Sorry, I wasn't thinking. We have to be sneaky, right Master?

E:???: Damn this stupid spot! I'm all out of patience! Take that! Phantom Maiden!

E:???: There. Blew the whole thing to pieces. That'll do. Good job, me.

E:???: I am one of the most famous vampires on the planet... I must be terrifying, beautiful, and merciless!

E:???: ...It's so noisy outside, though. How many fireworks are they setting off?

Kiyohime: Oh my, how ugly! She's like a Berserker, almost!

Kiyohime: Look, my husband! She's not putting in any effort! Of course, my cleaning skill is A+++ rank.

E:???: Ahhhh! H-How long have you people been there?

Mash: Um, Kiyohime... I don't remember you having that skill.

Kiyohime: I do. Look, I can burn burnable trash, and non-burnable trash. With my mouth.


Fujimaru 1: That's not cleaning.


E:???: –You saw me, didn't you? You saw the dark, bloody banquet of Carmilla!

Dr. Roman: Did you guys see a bloody banquet? I didn't...

Carmilla: There was a banquet! You guys just couldn't see it! I cooked the tomatoes!

Mash: I see... That's why your nails are red. I was sure that's the real—Ahem. Excuse me.

Mash: This is a theme park of dreams. Only unhappy fairy tales are allowed here!

Mash: Anyway Carmilla, why are you getting so heated over cleaning?

Carmilla: ...Humph. That stupid girl ordered me to.

Carmilla: Aarrgh! Why does the Grail even exist? Why did I end up a Servant?

Mash: The Grail? You mean THE Grail?


Fujimaru 1: It's in this castle?


Fujimaru 2: What idiot put it in this castle!?


Carmilla: Yes. You may not believe it, but it's true. Its power is what forced me to do this.

Kiyohime: Oh my... That must be terrible. But—How fascinating.

Kiyohime: If the Grail grants a Servant's wish, then... Hehehe... If I can get my hands on it...

Kiyohime: Fufufufufufu!

Fou: Fou, fo—u!

Carmilla: ...I know I can't be one to talk, but don't you think she's as dangerous as the fireworks outside?

Dr. Roman: Hahaha. She's more of a landmine than a firework.

Kiyohime: Silence, you.

Kiyohime: So far, I've been playing tourist, but now my goal has changed.

Kiyohime: I'm going to defeat the mistress of this castle and get the Grail. You're okay with that, right, my husband?


Fujimaru 1: (Shakes head in a certain direction.)


Fujimaru 2: (Shakes head in a certain direction.)


Kiyohime: Oh my! You're so happy you shook your head both up and down AND side to side.

Kiyohime: Enough talking, then.

Kiyohime: You, Servant whose name I don't know. Will you lead us to the mistress of this castle?

Carmilla: You think I will? I, Carmilla the Vampire?

Carmilla: My role is to entertain the guests. Now—enjoy this blood-freezing terror!

--BATTLE--

Carmilla: That concludes my warm-up. Glad to see you have spirit, pigs.

Carmilla: After I've brought you to your knees, I'll collar you and keep you as pets.

Carmilla: Of course, as my slaves you'll have to clean for me!

Carmilla: Now, are you ready? I'll use my Phantom Maiden to paint the walls with your blood!

Mash: Um, wouldn't that just make an even bigger mess?

--BATTLE--

Carmilla: Grr... That stupid dragon girl with her songs and dancing... No true noble would do such a thing...

Carmilla: Hehehe, but perhaps this is for the best... Oh, I'm about to...

Carmilla: GYAN!

Kiyohime: No slacking off from your cleaning by playing dead.

Carmilla: (Sob, sob...)

Kiyohime: So the dragon girl's got the Grail, huh? I wonder what she wished for.

Kiyohime: Well, I can guess.

E:???: I see. So both Mata Hari and Carmilla have fallen. Are the little [♂ Puppies /♀ Deerlets] suffering?

F:???: Of course. Life itself is suffering. Most people are always suffering.

F:???: But at the same time, most suffering can be alleviated with the softness of a paw, or perhaps a tail.

F:???: In other words, they don't suffer that much at all. By the way, do we have enough carrot cake?

E:???: –I see. Then make them suffer more. More cruelty! More despair!

E:???: That's the most important part of this Halloween party!

F:???: First I've heard of it, but sure thing! Kitty's ready for the banquet!

E:???: Now come, little [♂ Puppies /♀ Deerlets]! Come to me!

E:???: I'll give you a welcome to make you wish you were never born!

Section 5: Secret Joy of the Impaler

Vlad III: –Hmm, so you made it this far, huh?

Vlad III: Carmilla went easy on you... Or perhaps not.

Vlad III: Very well then. I grant you the honor of fighting with Vlad Tepes, the Dracul.

Kiyohime: Oh my. We actually ran into a serious warrior for once. Class-wise, he's the same as me, though.

Kiyohime: Of course, no Berserker can rival me in elegance and breeding.

Vlad III: You make me laugh, man-eater. Your sin will scorch you from within.

Vlad III: Both you and I have trod a wicked path. Know that neither of us shall return to the light.

Kiyohime: ...That kind of ticked me off. You will pay dearly for that.

Vlad III: Of course. This is a banquet, a place for entertainment! And so—

Vlad III: Even the jesters must give it their all.

Vlad III: As the ruler of a nation, I know the importance of festivals. Man needs circuses as well as bread.

Mash: Wow... He's so serious! He's the one person who doesn't get the mood for this event!

Dr. Roman: In a sense, he's a true Berserker... The only sane man in a world of the insane.

Vlad III: —I find that a touch rude. I consider myself a gentleman with a sense of humor.

Vlad III: Mata Hari's dance was one of mirth. Carmilla's dance was one of suffering.

Vlad III: I would like to add a dance of my own, a dance of blood...

Vlad III: But I must beg your forgiveness. I'm afraid I'm much better at embroidery.

Mash: ...Embroidery? Your hobby is embroidery?

Mash: Did you make that splendid regalia yourself?

Vlad III: Hahaha! How kind of you, milady. But no, this was the work of a special tailor.

Vlad III: I wanted to try my hand at it myself, but I had my position to think of.

Vlad III: Young girl, if you like, I shall give you a lesson later.

Vlad III: An applique of a praying man would decorate your master's clothes well.

Mash: Vlad!

Vlad III: But first, we must attend to the battle. I've been asked to “hype up this party,” you see.

Vlad III: And the best way to liven up this banquet, I believe– Is with your screams.

Vlad III: Let us begin with an appetizer. Eat, as your bones scream in pain!

--BATTLE--

Vlad III: Indeed, banquets are splendid. It was worth going along with that girl.

Kiyohime: ...So it's “that girl” after all?

Vlad III: Of course. Out of all Servants, there are few who could spread such sweet delusions without shame.


Fujimaru 1: No, I think there are probably a lot...


Fujimaru 2: Well, I'm sure there's plenty...


Kiyohime: Oh my... Master. Your passionate gaze... It's making me blush.

Dr. Roman: No, this isn't such a simple matter.

Dr. Roman: Even with the Grail's power, for a Servant to summon another Servant...

Vlad III: Be not afraid, foreign mage. We simply—answered the summons ourselves.

Vlad III: What she found was only a tiny sliver of the Grail. It lacks the power to incinerate eras.

Vlad III: She probably found it by chance during your battles at Orleans.

Vlad III: It must be the blessing of God that it was entrusted to the most harmless Servant there.

Kiyohime: ...She doesn't seem harmless to me.

Vlad III: She has the mind of a child.

Vlad III: She's a very immature Servant who takes her childish thoughts and makes them real.

Vlad III: She acts neither for good nor evil, nor for dreams or greed. She simply seeks her own entertainment.

Vlad III: ...But that's why it is fine. Her entertainment is a pure joy, unlike ours.

Vlad III: I know of it myself. Before I became the dragon who defended my nation, I, too, was once a father.

Vlad III: Now, it's time for me to fight for real.

Vlad III: My stakes have found their place in history. And now you shall feel their wrath!

--BATTLE--

Vlad III: ...Hmmph. Enough, I suppose.

Mash: ...He's barely scratched, isn't he?


Fujimaru 1: I can't believe I survived that.


Vlad III: Of course. I'm the only one who's being serious here.


Fujimaru 1: I was serious as well!


Vlad III: Splendid, splendid. My work here is finished.

Vlad III: Now then... Keep playing along until the end.

Vlad III: She seemed so worried about whether or not you would come.

Kiyohime: Oh dear. You're much nicer than you look. Sure you're not related?

Vlad III: ...I'm simply taking pity on a comrade. It's harder than you think, always being called a vampire.

Kiyohime: Whew, I'm so tired... And my throat is parched, too.

Kiyohime: My husband, would you happen to have any cough drops?


Fujimaru 1: Here you go.


Kiyohime: Thank you!

Kiyohime: We're giving each other cough drops now... We're practically married!

Mash: I wouldn't say that. I'm the one who provided that cough drop.

Kiyohime: I see... A pity.

Kiyohime: Either way, so far we've dealt with Mata Hari, Carmilla, and Vlad III.

Kiyohime: That's quite a few, but there might be more Servants who wish to join in on all the fuss...


Fujimaru 1: There's one thing I know for sure.


Both: –?


Fujimaru 1: I've got a bad feeling about this.


Mash: Same here...

Section 6: Hyper Enthusiastic Maid Cat

Tamamo Cat: RAAAAWWRRR! Raging Cat-Dou-Ken!

Tamamo Cat: Yo! I am Tamamo Cat!

Tamamo Cat: My (temporary) Master, it's time for you to take me for a walk!

Dr. Roman: You know, you look really tired...


Fujimaru 1: It's tough to keep up with these people.


Fujimaru 2: Don't worry. I'm fine.


Kiyohime: ...She just showed up without any warning whatsoever, didn't she?

Tamamo Cat: Hmph. Don't compliment me, snake-girl. Or shall I use your kimono to sharpen my claws?

Kiyohime: That wasn't a compliment. And stay away from me.

Tamamo Cat: Hmph. You aren't complimenting me, and you want me to leave. So one of us has to die, then?


Fujimaru 1: Let's talk about this first.


Fujimaru 2: Hold on a second.


Tamamo Cat: Yup! We need conversation, a heart to understand! That's it, my (temporary) Master! You get it!

Tamamo Cat: So, I'll fill you in. I'm busy, so I'll make it quick.

Tamamo Cat: I'm a guard. My job is to set the Halloween traps, and cook the jack-o'-lanterns.

Mash: Oh, you eat those, huh?

Tamamo Cat: It's good.

Tamamo Cat: But at Chaldea, it's only the second-best dish. It's just a lowly spirit, but man does it stink!

Tamamo Cat: Ahahahahaha!

Kiyohime: Dealing with her is so tiring. It's impossible to believe she's related to my texting buddy Tamamo–

Kiyohime: No, maybe she's... Maybe she's like this at heart, too?

Kiyohime: The kind who will happily break the rules in a serious setting?

Tamamo Cat: All right! It's party time! Here we go! It's the FINAL BATTLE!

Tamamo Cat: Now, my (temporary) Master! It's time for pumpkin ghost pies!

Tamamo Cat: Eat till you're ready to go BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Tamamo Cat: By the way, no poison in these, but here's a tip...

Tamamo Cat: One of these pumpkin ghost pies was made by my current Master, woof!


Fujimaru 1: So it's really got poison in it?


Fujimaru 2: So it's Russian roulette?


Kiyohime: I see. No wonder you have nothing but bad vibes!

--BATTLE--

Tamamo Cat: Nwahahaha! I said it was just one, but I lied!

Tamamo Cat: There's actually a few more, including my failed creations! Make sure you eat them this time, woof!

--BATTLE--

Tamamo Cat: Now it's time for me to join in on the Russian roulette! MEOOOWW!

Mash: Oh, her purrs sound ordinary! I think she's getting bored!

--BATTLE--

Tamamo Cat: Meow! I came! I saw! I conquered! Why's that hottie so fat?

Kiyohime: You lost, Tamamo Cat.

Tamamo Cat: What... That's surprisingly white... How about we say I won the battle and won the war?

Kiyohime: You lost the battle, and lost the war, too.

Tamamo Cat: Then I lost everything! How can I face my employer?

Tamamo Cat: I know. Since I can't face her, I'll betray her! How about I lead you straight to the goal?


Fujimaru 1: Sure thing.

Tamamo Cat: Hm... A moment ago, we were trying to kill each other, and now you trust me? Isn't that a little too generous?

Tamamo Cat: Anyway, all aboard the Tamamo Cat Train! Choo choo!


Fujimaru 2: You're very dedicated.

Tamamo Cat: Yup. Being a guide is my real job, after all! Did you like that, my (true) Master?


Tamamo Cat: Now, I shall lead you to the mistress of the castle, the mastermind who sent you the invitation, woof!

Tamamo Cat: Her true identity is— Meh. You probably figured that out already.

Kiyohime: Hah... We finally made it, huh?

Kiyohime: I know exactly who it is— but what I don't know is why.

Kiyohime: What is that idiot dragon girl thinking, I wonder?

Section 7: Melody Just for You

Tamamo Cat: Former Master! Former Master! Are you ready?

F:???: J-Just give me a second! Okay, that's good, this is good, and that's... Probably good!

Tamamo Cat: RED LIZARD!

F:???: Who are you calling a lizard? I'm a dragon! I said give me a second!

F:???: ...I think we're all good! Okay, open up!

Mash: All right–

Kiyohime: Here we come!

F:???: –Hahaha, you're here, my little [♂ Puppies /♀ Deerlets]! Wait, all you people came too?

Kiyohime: Huh? Huh? This is–

Mash: Senpai's...personal room?


Fujimaru 1: It's not this messy!


Fujimaru 2: It's filled with pumpkins!


F:???: You seem surprised, [♂ Puppies /♀ Deerlets].

F:???: That's right. While you were fighting, I used the power of the Grail to redecorate.

Mash: The Grail can do anything, can't it?

F:???: ...Come on, aren't you surprised?

Mash: I'm sorry?

Kiyohime: At what? I'm very surprised to see this connection to my husband's room.

F:???: Not that! Indeed, 'twas I who sent that mysterious invitation!

Elisabeth: The beloved, blood red Caster idol, Elisabeth Báthory!

Elisabeth: I'm still a newbie idol, but I've got a bright future! My singing and acting abilities are (someday going to be) known worldwide!

Elisabeth: You could say that I'm a major idol on the verge of her big break! Feel free to be blown away!

Mash: Wow. (Applauding.)

Fou: Fou, awoo, ooh! (Agreeing.)

Elisabeth: Hey! I'm starting to think you don't mean it.

Elisabeth: Can't you be more, I don't know, enthusiastic?


Fujimaru 1: It's hard when it's so obvious.


Fujimaru 2: This isn't a surprise!


Elisabeth: No surprise? After all the effort I put into hiding my identity?

Elisabeth: I had a silhouette and everything! I even changed my voice!

Kiyohime: Yes, but you gave yourself away by using Castle Csejte as your setting.

Elisabeth: Oh.

Mash: You didn't notice that, did you? I thought not...

Elisabeth: Oh dear... It's hard, being too famous.

Kiyohime: Not that famous, really. Well, that doesn't matter at all.

Elisabeth: It does matter! The surprise is ruined!

Kiyohime: IT! DOES! NOT! MATTER! Anyway, I had a question for you, Count Dracu-dumb.

Elisabeth: Count Dracu-dumb?

Kiyohime: Just answer me. ...What are you after?

Elisabeth: What am I after?

Kiyohime: Yes. Why did you make us fight those Servants in the prison castle? What was your goal?

Elisabeth: Oh, you don't get why?

Kiyohime: ...Nope. Not a clue.

Elisabeth: Very well. If you insist– I may be willing to tell you.


Fujimaru 1: I bet it's something dumb.


Mash: ...Yes. But let's play along and let her finish, Master.

Elisabeth: Mata Hari, Carmilla, Uncle Vlad, and Tamamo Cat here.

Elisabeth: They're all powerful Servants who gave you everything they had. So now you must be tired, yes?

Mash: Well, yes... It certainly was a difficult battle...

Elisabeth: An exhausted [♂ man /♀ woman] at the end of a long journey. There they reach an eternal paradise, where they find–

Kiyohime: ...Where they find?

Elisabeth: They find happiness! That's right, the bluebird of happiness is right next to you!

Elisabeth: Your reward for this Halloween night's dream is myself–

Elisabeth: A one-night only concert, sung by Elisabeth Báthory in my little [♂ Puppy /♀ Deerlet]'s room!

Elisabeth: Tonight, and only tonight, I! SHALL! SING! LOUD!

Elisabeth: Well? Surprised? Moved to tears? You're moved to tears, right?

Mash: ...

Kiyohime: ...

Dr. Roman: ...

Tamamo Cat: Yes, I know what you all want to say, everyone. Don't hold back. Let it all out.

Mash: U-Um, Elisabeth?

Elisabeth: Hmm? What is it?

Mash: You could have just come to Chaldea, you know...

Elisabeth: What? Of course not. That's no fun.

Elisabeth: Listen. An idol's concert is a once-in-a-lifetime deal.

Elisabeth: You brave the winter snow and summer heat, lining up for your tickets.

Elisabeth: You line up just to buy merchandise, you get packed into a crowded concert hall.

Elisabeth: As the diva's serenade brings you to the heights of ecstasy and madness, you fall in love!

Dr. Roman: Yes, quite right. You're quite right, Elisabeth. The job of an idol in the first place is to...

Mash: Doctor, if you don't want me confiscating your laptop, please shut up.

Dr. Roman: Yes, I'll shut up. Lady Elisabeth, please continue!

Elisabeth: Oh, may I? Umm, then—Ahem.

Elisabeth: So, you see? It's important for an idol to keep their fans waiting. So...

Elisabeth: If I just showed up in my little [♂ Puppy /♀ Deerlet]'s room and started singing, I'd be a heartless demon, right?

Elisabeth: My songs only truly shine after a long and perilous journey.

Elisabeth: I couldn't deprive you of such a woooonnnderful feast for the ears!

Mash: So you didn't send the invitation to Csejte so that we could enjoy a Halloween party...

Mash: ...but so that Master could listen to your songs?

Elisabeth: Correct. It was a cruel trial, to make my songs all the more wonderful. Splendid, yes?

Kiyohime: Oh. My. That. Is. Amazing.

Kiyohime: Our reward. For four Servant battles. Is one of your songs.

Elisabeth: EXACTLY! (Dazzling smile)

Kiyohime: My head. Has overheated. With rage. And something else.

Mash: K-Kiyohime! Get a hold of yourself!

Kiyohime: M-My husband... Kiyohime is done for... Something within me that must never snap has snapped.


Fujimaru 1: Hang in there!


Fujimaru 2: You can do it!


Kiyohime: Sob... I'm telling the truth, and you're so cold to me... But I know that's what a Master is, now...

Kiyohime: That aside–You! Count Dracu-dumb!

Kiyohime: At this point, what's the difference between defeating four Servants and beating the stuffing out of five?

Kiyohime: I'll incinerate the lot of you! No dust left! No ash left!

Elisabeth: Huh? Huh? Why are you mad at me? Argh! Don't burn down the stage!

Elisabeth: That's more of a death-y metal-y thing!

Tamamo Cat: Oh, you wanna fight? Okay, then.

Tamamo Cat: I summon the pumpkin heads I called to liven the place up! Now the whole concert hall's full!

Tamamo Cat: Now, my (true) Master and my (temporary) Master! I'm exhausted, but it's time for the concert!

--BATTLE--

Kiyohime: Hehehe. I'm in top condition tonight!

Kiyohime: I feel like I could ignite flames of love just by meeting someone's gaze!

Kiyohime: My husband! Look deep into my eyes, please!

Elisabeth: Splendid! Wonderful! This wasn't what I anticipated, but it was a lot of fun anyway!

Elisabeth: I'm really getting into this! I feel like my songs–can save the world!

Elisabeth: It's time for the finale! I am Caster Elisabeth! –Listen to my true song!

--BATTLE--

Elisabeth: Aah... That's enough singing. I'm so satisfied...

Mash: Holy Grail confirmed! Recovering!

Elisabeth: That felt so good!

Elisabeth: Songs truly are the noblest art, and idols are Phantasms created by the stars!


Fujimaru 1: ...


Fujimaru 2: ...


Kiyohime: My throat's parched, but worse, my ears hurt...

Kiyohime: It's not even remotely fair that Count Dracu-dumb is in better shape than us.

Tamamo Cat: A poisonous snake can bite their own tail and still survive, after all.


Fujimaru 1: ...


Fujimaru 2: ...


Mash: ...Master, this wasn't quite what I expected, but we did manage to recover a fragment of the Grail.

Mash: If we take this back to Chaldea, we'll gain a valuable source of magical energy.

Mash: So all that's left to do is go home.

Mash: Or, wait. This is your room, so perhaps we don't even need to do that?

Mash: My head feels so dizzy I can't think...


Fujimaru 1:


Fujimaru 2:


Tamamo Cat: Hey, question for you guys.

Tamamo Cat: My (temporary) Master looks like they've got a bad case of the shakes. They okay?

Mash: Huh? Oh! M-Master!?

Kiyohime: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! My husband! Hang in there, my husband!

Elisabeth: The heat from the concert got to them... I understand that. Perhaps it was too good.

Tamamo Cat: No, that doesn't seem right. But I decided not to say so.

Kiyohime: Are you okay, my husband?


Fujimaru 1: Maybe I'm okay?


Fujimaru 2: I'm okay, maybe?


Kiyohime: Oh, the question mark means you're not lying, right? We still have to be careful.

Kiyohime: Please stay still, and rest your head, heart, and ears.


Fujimaru 1: My ears...


Fujimaru 2: I think something happened...


Mash: It's because you experienced Elisabeth's concert up close... Probably.

Mash: Just think of it like trying out a torture device...


Fujimaru 1: That's crazy!


Fujimaru 2: Good idea.


Mash: Yeah.

Elisabeth: Well, my little [♂ Puppy /♀ Deerlet]? My concert was wonderful, wasn't it?


Fujimaru 1: I've had my fill.


Elisabeth: Yes, yes, you're right.

Elisabeth: You're never going to have a private concert like this again! Probably.

Elisabeth: It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience! Of course you've had your fill!

Mash: Um... I think that meant, “Please, make it stop. I'm begging you.”

Tamamo Cat: Ssh! Stay quiet and she'll think this is a happy ending, woof!

Elisabeth: Worry not, my [♂ Puppy /♀ Deerlet]! You may have had your fill, but there's always room for cake!


Fujimaru 1: Um, what do you mean?


Fujimaru 2: Y-Yeah.


Elisabeth: And so–

Elisabeth: Time for the encore! First up is my (in a sense) legendary debut single, “Love is Dracul”!


Fujimaru 1: ...


Mash: ...M-Master! Don't die on me, Master!

Kiyohime: Oh, jeez! Dracu-dumb here is unstoppable when she's singing, isn't she?

Elisabeth: Wake up, my [♂ Puppy /♀ Deerlet]! [♂ Puppy /♀ Deerlet]!

Elisabeth: Good, good. Good morning, my [♂ Puppy /♀ Deerlet]!

Elisabeth: What? In the idol business we say “good morning” no matter what time it is.

Elisabeth: You enjoyed Halloween, right? I had a great time!

Elisabeth: ... ...Umm.

Elisabeth: So, um, well... I'm not sure if it's the power of that Grail or what, but...

Elisabeth: ...But I forgot how to get home. So can I stay with you, my [♂ Puppy /♀ Deerlet]?

Elisabeth: You wouldn't leave a little lost dragon out in the rain, would you?


Fujimaru 1: Oh, fine...

Elisabeth: Really? Yes! It was worth asking! Man, this new Master's a pushover!

Elisabeth: What? Who am I to talk? Hey, I'm no pushover!


Fujimaru 2: Are you sure about this?

Elisabeth: I am sure! I even gave up my prison castle for you!

Elisabeth: Huh? Then it's okay? You're asking me if I'll stop being bad?

Elisabeth: Of course, I'll stop being bad! ...Wait, did I ever do anything bad?


Elisabeth: Anyway, the contract is made!

Elisabeth: I may not be an official Servant, summoned at Chaldea, but...

Elisabeth: ...I'll do my best to serve you, so do your best to raise me, Master!