Nerofest 2018

Commence! The 2nd Nero Fest!

Nero: What is a festival?

Nero: It is a party that brings joy to all people, regardless of the era or place!

Nero: The same can be said for my festival! It can already be considered a spectacle that both Rome and Chaldea are known for!

Nero: “But that's not the true meaning of a festival,” you say? Umu, I shall leave that distinction to the scholarly Servants.

Nero: The dazzling Nero Fest! A joint production between Rome and Chaldea!

Nero: Let the festivities begin!

Nero: As it is a martial arts tournament held at the Colosseum, many Servants are going to enjoy this.

Nero: Hehehe. I am not familiar with mana and the like, but I can feel it! The joy is in the air!

Nero: A festival of power, modeled after the one once held at Olympia! The people shall praise the courage of warriors!

Nero: Highly trained bodies! A competitive display of skill! What could be more beautiful, more noble!?

Nero: Like admiring a blooming rose, mankind loves to look upon their wonderous possibilities.

Nero: That's what this Olympic festival, held in my Rome, is all about!

Fujimaru 1: Rome!

Nero: Rome! Indeed!

Fujimaru 2: All hail Her Majesty!

Nero: Hehehe. Your applause is making me blush.

Nero: Yes, I shall permit it! Enjoy this glorious festival!

A:Cú Chulainn: What is it, Master?

A:Cú Chulainn: You're going to participate in this festival thing, right? It's a great way to let off some steam. Let's have fun.

A:Cú Chulainn: Will we end up as friends or foes? ...Even I don't know.

B:Cú Chulainn: Either way, let's have fun going at it. Right, spearless me?

A:Cú Chulainn: Yeah. You know, hearing that from the spear-wielding version of me kind of pisses me off...

C:Cú Chulainn: Hahah. If it bothers you, I can lend you one, elderly me. This thing was made real quick. I can replace it.

A:Cú Chulainn: Oh, wasn't this handmade by your last Master or something? I can't take it.

D:Cú Chulainn: (Sigh) This is all so stupid.

D:Cú Chulainn: Are you guys really me? Who cares if you have a spear or not?

D:Cú Chulainn: If two people fight, the strong one wins and the weak one dies. There's nothing else to it. So shut up.

All Three: Um... (He's seriously going to try and murder his opponents.)

Martha: Leave it to us. We are on stand-by for medical treatment. Even if someone gets the wrong idea and goes out of control...

Nightingale: I shall save all my patients. I will not allow any deaths. I shall save them, yes.

Nightingale: There may be casualties, but no one will die. Rest assured.

Martha: Wait, wait! You're saying the word “casualties”! That includes deaths!

Nightingale: Yes, I'll be very, very careful about cleanliness in the first aid area. We need to be very cautious about disinfecting and sterilizing.

Nightingale: Don't worry. I'm here. I'll be a little diligent about disinfecting and sterilizing.

Martha: Listen to me! Listen to what I'm saying!

Iri: Martha and Nightingale are truly good friends. Even their jokes are in perfect harmony.

Martha: Oh, Iri. I'm counting on your healing powers. ...Wait, I don't think she was joking back there!

Nightingale: Healing powers? Could you possibly be...

Martha: Yeah, it's her healing spells. It's quite different than my power and your techniques.

Nightingale: ...a doctor with surgical experience?

Iri: Huh? A doctor?

Nightingale: That's reassuring. Then yes. We can more than double our efficiency when amputating the limbs of the wounded.

Martha: Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Emiya: Normally, when a Servant manifests, it doesn't need food to sustain itself...

Boudica: Even so, you get hungry if you move. Even if it's only a feeling, it's important to pay attention.

Boudica: Feeling good and feeling down are both made up of half-physical, half-mental states.

Boudica: With all this moving around at the festival, won't there be an influx of hungry Servants?

Emiya: Yeah. If that's the case, leave the kitchen and cafeteria to us, Master.

Emiya: We'll keep it running 24 hours a day.

Boudica: Feel free to get hungry anytime!

Boudica: I don't like the idea of helping that woman's festival, but I'll do it for you. Hehe. What a weird feeling.

Emiya: Master, we have a favor to ask. We'd like to have Servants who aren't busy serve tables.

Emiya: It would help if you could tell them in advance.

Emiya: And...

Emiya: If you could get rid of that Servant who's been hanging around the cafeteria for a while now...

Altria Alter: ...What? Why are you looking at me, Archer?

Altria Alter: I just followed you here in search of snacks.

Emiya: “Just”? That's no excuse. Sheesh.

Sanzang: Good timing, Fujimaru! How do you turn off the simulator?

Sanzang: Um, actually I...

Sanzang: I got lost. Where am I? Why am I walking through the desert again?

Sanzang: (Sob, sob) I'm beyond lost... I'm not gonna make it in time for the festival at this rate!

Sanzang: Waaahh! I wanna have fun, too! Fun, I say! I wanna play, play, and play some more!

Tawara Touta: Calm down! You're the one who woke me up early this morning, saying you wanted to come!

Tawara Touta: You were the one who activated this simulator thing. Which means you must have set a turn-off time, right?

Sanzang: (Sob) A turn-off... time?

Tawara Touta: Uh-oh. That's the face and voice she uses when things are bad. Master, turn off the simulator!

Marie: It's a festival, right? Then I want to participate too. Is that all right?

d'Eon: Your Highness, that's... It might not be what you think it is.

d'Eon: This tournament is a clash of myths, a battle of supernatural blades in the Colosseum.

d'Eon: Medical Servants may be standing by, but it's still dangerous.

d'Eon: Your Highness, I suggest you simply dedicate yourself to watching from the sidelines.

Amadeus: Who cares, d'Eon? Let her do what she wants.

Amadeus: She'll dance beautifully, no matter where she is. I'll write the perfect sonata to go along with it!

d'Eon: No, but...

Marie: How wonderful. You're going to write me a sonata?

Sanson: ...Then I shall do whatever it takes to assure the queen's safety. I will eliminate all who would hurt her.

Amadeus: I see, I see. That's quite a funny joke. Weren't you one of Robespierre's dogs?

Sanson: No, I...

Marie: Come on, no fighting. It's a festival. We have to have fun. Right?

Marie: I met all of you at one time or another during my life...

Marie: We met at different times but now we're here together. That's something very special.

Marie: And I think it's wonderful. It's like a once-in-a-century festival!

Marie: So you see? It's a waste to argue. Let's have fun, okay?

d'Eon: Right, Your Highness.

Marie: Then let's say it together! Ready, set... Vive la France!

All Three: Vive la France!

Marie: Oui. Well done!

Jeanne: So this festival is based on the same event as the modern Olympics.

Jeanne: None of them actually existed in my era...

Jeanne: But even so, I'm honestly looking forward to participating in this.

Jeanne: Let's both do our best, okay?

Jeanne Alter: Fat chance!

Jeanne Alter: Why!? Why should I spend time at a festival with you?

Amakusa Shirou: Don't say that. She's just looking after you.

Amakusa Shirou: It's partially the will of God, but at the same time, she just wants to be like a good parent to you.

Jeanne: ...!

Jeanne Alter: Parent? W-Who are you calling my parent!? I-I don't remember you giving birth to me, stupid!

Jeanne: I-I don't remember giving birth to you either! But you're still Jeanne d'Arc!

Jeanne: Which means you were created from the same Spirit Origin that is the basis for my form.

Jeanne Alter: Nnngh, nnngh, don't say it! I'll burn you alive! I mean it!

Amakusa Shirou: Hahah. Now, now. Calm down.

Edmond Dantès: Humph.

Edmond Dantès: Flames of vengeance have taken human form as an Avenger, yet she's able to mess around with them. That's impressive, in a way.

Edmond Dantès: Master, did you know? That Jeanne d'Arc is not Jeanne d'Arc.

Edmond Dantès: How could a forgery like her exist? Her hatred and rage have turned her whole body to flame.

Edmond Dantès: And yet, look at her...

Edmond Dantès: ...

Edmond Dantès: No, I'm sure you understand.

Edmond Dantès: Do as you will. If you truly desire it, even if this is a farce, I shall lend you my power.

Edmond Dantès: The Count of Monte Cristo will obey you.

Edmond Dantès: For instance, I would be more than willing to exterminate that squirming Caster over there.

Gilles: Ooh! Ooh! How could this be!? A second Jeanne, born of my desires...

Gilles: standing next to the one and only Jeanne, and happily talking to her!

Gilles: This was unexpected! Oooh! Oooh! How COOL can this get?

Gilles: You there! You, who is concerned about her just as I am. Come with me.

Gilles: And let us watch over the holy maidens together! Come, come!

Edmond Dantès: Humph. He was being so stupid I decided to take a break.

Edmond Dantès: Heh. Servants who've gone mad can be such a hassle to deal with.

Caesar: Absolutely not. It's out of the question.

Caesar: I was indeed a general as well as a Roman soldier. But that was a long time ago. Now I'm just a Saber.

Caesar: Ah, yes! I am a Saber! Unfortunately for me, I was summoned as a Servant.

Caesar: I work in place of my lord. I am truly a slave.

Caesar: I thought that compared to the Greeks or other civilizations, Rome's slave system was civilized.

Caesar: Yet it's no different. I do not like it one bit.

Caligula: You tell me... to fight... Moon Goddess? Diana... I...

Caligula: Nero... Child of my beloved sister... At the festival that bears your name, I will...



Caesar: Relax, relax. Sheesh. You want Nero's medals more than anybody.

Romulus: No, Caesar. Let him.

Romulus: Gather them as you will, Caligula. I see that's the shape of your heart's desire.

Romulus: If you think that way, let it be so. If wanting something means fighting, then you must fight.

Romulus: It is the same with you, Fujimaru. If you need more Ascension materials, then struggle, and fight.

Romulus: Rome will accept your battle. I'll allow it. Desire, seek, love, and fight as you will.

Romulus: These are also noble acts, and they are also Rome.

Romulus: However, be careful that you do not become a glutton.

Gawain: I wouldn't mind going to the kitchen.

Gawain: Yes. When it comes to handling root vegetables, I am quite skilled within the Round Table. I am second only to Percival.

Gawain: Just say the word, Master, and I'll be happy to demonstrate my skills.

Lancelot: Calm down, Lord Gawain.

Lancelot: We will do all we can to serve our Master. Even if what we do isn't what we're best at.

Lancelot: And even if we are split into enemies and allies.

Gawain: Indeed. That is perhaps the true task of a knight.

Lancelot: That's right. Forget about the root vegetables. Do you understand?

Lancelot: Master, may I ask you a question? Did Mash say anything about me?

Tristan: I am... No, I must be... the most sinful person here...

Tristan: The many sins performed by my other self may not be clearly carved into my Spirit Origin, but even so...

Tristan: Sins do not disappear. Thus, I must still be sinful.

Tristan: A fighting tournament... I know I shall shed much blood there too.

Tristan: This makes me...sad... (Strum)

Sanson: No, it is I who am the greatest sinner.

Sanson: I never wished for it, but as a result of my actions, I spread death and sorrow throughout the world.

Sanson: And in the end... I killed her...

Cursed Arm: I killed many in the name of my creed.

Cursed Arm: What did I seek, what did I throw away, and what did I gain? Those days are long gone now, but...

Cursed Arm: ...No, this isn't the place to speak of such things.

Tawara Touta: Hey, hey. We finally made it out of the simulator and somehow walked straight into some kind of confessional tournament.

Tawara Touta: Looks like they're quite the bunch of sinners. Not that I'm one to talk.

Sanzang: I'm beyond words... I'm getting sad too... Yep, I have to do something about this.

Sanzang: Good begets good, which creates a cycle of ease. Evil begets evil, and creates suffering.

Sanzang: Good actions lead to good rewards. Evil actions lead to evil consequences!

Sanzang: This is indeed the principle of karma!

Sanzang: Confess to me the evil deeds that lie in your past! I'll hear you out!

Jekyll: Oh there you are, Master. Is it true that you met Mr. Holmes?

Jekyll: Actually, when I was alive I also...

Jekyll: Wait. I'd like to talk more, but they're calling me from the infirmary.

Jekyll: You might be surprised, but I know a thing or two about medicine and pharmaceuticals. I hope I'll be able to help you and your Servants.

Jekyll: See you later!

Mordred: Yo, you came to the festival too, Master? Hey, was there some scrawny weakling walking around here?

Mordred: Well, whatever. Fran, let's go.

Mordred: Hey, Fran?

Fran: ...Uuh.

Mordred: Are you done charging? Don't run out of juice on me, alright?

Mordred: We need to show people who the strongest electric-type Servant is. A festival is as good a chance as any.

Mordred: I was faster last time, but...

Fran: Uuuh.

Blackbeard: ...Nothing happened, you know?

Blackbeard: Oro? I got fried to a crisp, you say?

Blackbeard: I don't know what you're talking about. Anyway, Master! It's a Servant tournament!

Blackbeard: Whoever wins will have all the heroines fall in love with them! This is the perfect chance to build a harem!

Blackbeard: Come with me and we'll win the tournament, and maybe “accidentally” run into some female Servants in the shower room!

Anne: He's as energized as always, but he's definitely fried to a crisp.

Mary: ...He was annoying some little girl a minute ago. One with a horn. She had bangs covering her eyes too.

Blackbeard: What are you talking about? I have absolutely no idea!

Edison: How sad! What a sad case of electrocution! This is where I, DC Detective Edison, come in!

Edison: I sense a whiff of evil AC about this case! I must solve it quickly!

Nikola Tesla: Hah! I'm laughing so hard my muscly sides are about to split! AC is the true light that illuminates the darkness.

Nikola Tesla: So I'll be the one who uncovers the truth! Me, AC Detective Nikola Tesla!

Nikola Tesla: I shall hunt down the foolish lightning that burnt the pirate to a crisp! Don't worry! Electricity knows all!

Nikola Tesla: Don't move, Edison! You're a suspect in this electrocution case, and I'm going to interrogate you.

Nikola Tesla: I shall find the proof as fast as lightning!

Edison: Get out of here with that “as fast as lightning” nonsense! You trying to be clever!? ...Hang on, that was actually pretty good! Ugh!

Edison: But I will be the one to solve the case with lightning-quick speed! On your knees, Tesla! My inventions have more patents than yours!

Nikola Tesla: ...!

Nikola Tesla: Are you still talking about sheer numbers? ...Unfortunate, but not at all surprising, Mr. Lion-Head.

Nikola Tesla: It seems you're unaware that more accurate reviews have been going around in recent times.

Nikola Tesla: Hahaha! Everyone's starting to learn that I, Nikola Tesla, am the true genius that surpassed Edison!

Nikola Tesla: In recent years, I've been in more movies than you have!

Edison: Shocking! Don't tell me that in fiction you've been making electro-transportation and replication machines!

Edison: I'm so jealous!

Edison: Excuse me. There was an AC bug there.

Nikola Tesla: My apologies. There was a DC cat there.

Edison: ...

Nikola Tesla: ...

Edison: All right. War then?

Nikola Tesla: Of course. It's war.

Helena: Stop! What are you men doing?

Helena: You're both too old for this! Grow up!

Gentleman & Lion: Gwah! You're...!

Helena: First you fight at the barbecue, and now here! Do you geniuses ever learn?

Helena: No matter how old you are, you're still childish. ...Not like that bothers me, but still...

Edison: R-Right.

Nikola Tesla: ...Right.

Helena: What is the big idea, going on a rampage in front of all these people?

Helena: I remember telling you that you should go to the festival if you had the energy to fight.

Helena: ...Wait, is this my fault?

Edison: N-No, it's not! Not at all!

Nikola Tesla: Indeed! We just lit a fuse, that's all!

Edison: That's right... This is Chaldea, not the Colosseum.

Nikola Tesla: We used the electrocution case as an excuse to do what we wanted. And we caused problems for Chaldea's staff as well.

Gentleman & Lion: We're deeply sorry...

Helena: As long as you understand. And make sure you apologize to everyone too.

Gentleman & Lion: Yes, ma'am...

Asterios: I want to...go. I'm...strong. Even I know.

Euryale: Hmm, you do? But we're already on a nice, cool, peaceful island.

Euryale: There's no need to fight here. Or are you bored?

Euryale: A “simulator,” was it? This illusionary island made by Roman and Da Vinci.

Asterios: No... Not at all. It's

Asterios: But...I want strength!

Euryale: Aww, once you decide something, you never change your mind. Well, boys will be boys...

Euryale: Fine. Go on ahead and join the festival. But...

Euryale: Listen. You're strong, but don't push yourself too hard, okay?

Asterios: Okay. Thank you...Euryale.

Stheno: ...Hmmm.

Stheno: What do you call something like that?

Stheno: Oh Euryale, do you realize what you are making my face look like right now?

Medusa: (You're looking wonderful too, Sister!)

Stheno: ...Come here for a second, will you, Medusa?

Andersen: Why, if it isn't Master. Leave.

Andersen: All this stuff about the festival of Olympia, the Colosseum... It's completely geared towards muscleheads.

Andersen: There's nothing for us to do. Fight Assassins? I don't care. Use a Berserker or something!

Shakespeare: It's an awful shame, Master, but this time I hereby gratefully refuse.

Shakespeare: If there was something interesting that could inspire me, things might be different...

Shakespeare: But this time, it's only muscle! Muscle! Muscle! It's a celebration of muscle in this resurgent Olympic festival.

Shakespeare: I believe we should stay indoors and focus on our writing. I hope you understand.

Caesar: I'm here too. Let me join in, scribblers! I came! I saw! I slept!

Shakespeare: He looks so relaxed while the sofa creaks under his weight. What a splendid picture of degeneration!

Shakespeare: He's just like a writer before a deadline! Oh, indeed he is.

Andersen: He's a legitimate writer. He is the author of Commentaries on the Gallic Wars, after all.

Shakespeare: Oh. A war chronicle. Excellent. How about we have a different author for each country?

Andersen: A shared world series? Interesting. While they're having their festival out there, let's have some fun ourselves.

Shakespeare: All right, time to get started—

Caesar: Zzzzzz...!!

Shakespeare: He's asleep already!? And snoring away majestically, no less!

Karna: I heard Emperor Nero's declaration. Though I am not quite sure I understood it entirely.

Karna: Master, I want to make a vow to you here.

Karna: Without obsessing over victory or defeat, I will show you a fight worthy of being in this tournament.

Arjuna: ...I did not expect to receive a chance such as this. I am grateful to you, and I am grateful for this good fortune.

Arjuna: If you say that you will give your all to this festival and its battles, I will fight as well.

Arjuna: As your enemy, I had the opportunity to slay you three times...

Karna: I don't know the details myself, but the battles for the festival supposedly use the simulator.

Arjuna: What? Is that so?

Karna: You can test your strength this way without taking anyone's life. Modern technology never ceases to amaze me.

Karna: Thinking back, it was the same with Jinako's game. It uses the movements of electrons to create a pseudo-intelligence...

Karna: ...that made noises and moved images. Even the legendary scenes in our memories could appear as virtual reality.

Arjuna: A game...?

Arjuna: No. No, that's somehow different. Don't change the subject, Karna!

Gilgamesh: How trivial.

Gilgamesh: Such a trivial...trifling matter.

Ozymandias: Indeed. This is nonsense. It's worthless to even speak of the reasons.

Gilgamesh: Seems like we're on the same page, Sun King.

Ozymandias: Of course, Golden King.

Nitocris: Right, right. That's exactly right. Why bother imitating an ancient Roman festival? It's laughable!

Nitocris: The great pharaoh has appeared. Thus, when it comes to reviving old things, it should be left to us!

Nitocris: Or perhaps... yes, if there was an older, nobler king...

Nitocris: No, even then that's questionable. When it comes to ancient kings, nothing compares to a pharaoh, no?

Gilgamesh: It's very simple. It's obvious who the strongest is here.

Ozymandias: You're exactly right. Indeed, it's clear which Heroic Spirit is the strongest.

Ozymandias: Just like how the sun shines brightly in the sky, the fact speaks for itself. It's foolish to even question it.

Gilgamesh: Heh. Your words are too grand. You're embarrassing me.

Ozymandias: Oh please. I'm the one who's feeling embarrassed.

Nitocris: (Feeling very nervous)

Medb: “Nero Fest”? Hah!

Medb: I didn't get a single scene during the summer swimsuit event! Cú was there, but I wasn't!

Medb: I had a part in the... what was it? Magical Girl event? But I don't remember it, and supposedly Cú was even more tiny!

Medb: And now I learn I'm making an appearance, but there's no Cú! What is going on?

Medb: It's all men I'm not interested in! And it pisses me off even more because everyone else looks so happy! I'm gonna cry!

Fionn mac Cumhaill: You can't let yourself get so depressed. Good luck and good fortune are drawn to smiles.

Fionn mac Cumhaill: And it's not all bad. You met me.

Fionn mac Cumhaill: Not to brag, but I'm strong. If you join with me, winning the tournament won't be a drea—

Medb: (Sigh) I wonder if there are any beefy warriors around... At this point, even Master would do...

Fionn mac Cumhaill: Hmm, she doesn't even see me!

Fergus: Ooh, she's fuming. She's mad! Oh my. An angry Queen Medb is great too.

Scáthach: Don't talk like you know. You're only looking at her body anyway.

Fergus: No, no. That's not true. I mean, it's partially true. But I can love more than a girl's body, you know.

Fergus: It's one thing to see her as a scheming and dominating queen, but it's nice to see she can be just a girl sometimes.

Scáthach: Humph. Is that so?

Fergus: Of course. Sometimes she's scary, but other times she can be a dame.

Scáthach: I see. Your easygoing nature can occasionally be a shortcoming.

Scáthach: Anyway, setting aside her usual debauchery, I'm quite excited about this festival.

Scáthach: There are so many heroes here. I assume there are some who surpass me. Heheh. Heheheheh...

Fergus: (Gulp) (She is ready to kick some butt...)

Sakata Kintoki: Ooh! So that's the Colosseum? It's pretty golden and gorgeous!

Minamoto-no-Raikou: I see. So it is. It's finally time to show the true power of the Minamoto clan.

Minamoto-no-Raikou: Are you ready, Kintoki? Remember the perilous time when you pursued the Earth Spider into the dark otherworld...

Minamoto-no-Raikou: ...or when you battled that giant one as big as a divine insect.

Minamoto-no-Raikou: There is no need to hold back. Show me and Master your power!

Sakata Kintoki: Haha! What are you talking about, Boss Raikou? That's just the spirit heading into war!

Sakata Kintoki: It's just a festival, so there's no need to go all out...

Minamoto-no-Raikou: No. That won't do. That won't do at all, Kintoki.

Ushiwakamaru: You speak the truth, my ancestor! I shall take the heads of all our enemies!

Benkei: If Lord Ushiwaka says so, I shall do the same! I'll rip the head off one enemy after another!

Sakata Kintoki: Guys, that ain't what we're here for! No murders and no decapitations!

Sakata Kintoki: No killing! No death! Yes, Olympia!

Minamoto-no-Raikou: No, that won't do at all! If we're going to do this, we must be thorough! Otherwise we'll lose, Kintoki!

Sakata Kintoki: We do not! Why are you so riled up, Raikou?

Shuten-Douji: ...Hehe. Looks like everyone's here. Goodness me, too much time on their hands...

Shuten-Douji: Perhaps the lineup is better than expected... Yes, very well. Let's play with them.

Ibaraki-Douji: Leave it to me, Shuten! No matter how many of these human heroes there are, it makes no difference!

Ibaraki-Douji: Or rather, the more there are, the more my flames will burn in excitement. The festival of Olympia will be child's play.

Ibaraki-Douji: I'm told they use a flame in that festival. If they do, then I shall add it to my Sougenbi!

Shuten-Douji: The Olympic flame, was it? I don't think they've got any of that here.

Shuten-Douji: Oh, and Ibaraki. If you want to come up with evil plans, I don't think it's a good idea to say them in front of Master.

Ibaraki-Douji: Hmm. I see. I'm not sure what to do then. Hmm...

Ibaraki-Douji: I'll call off my evil plan! But for now, I'm staying with you, Shuten!

Shuten-Douji: Do what you want. More importantly, are we...

Shuten-Douji: Are we on your side, Master? Or are we enemies?

Shuten-Douji: ...If we're enemies, my bad! Heheh.

Mash: Everyone's really excited in their own way!

Mash: This is going to be a fun festival, Senpai. I can't wait!

Fujimaru 1: Let's go get a bunch of medals!

Fujimaru 2: Let's make it a fun festival.

Mash: Right, Senpai! We'll have lots of fun!