The Demonic Capital Rashomon

Opening Act: Heian Sakura Front Line

Mash: –Rayshift complete. We've arrived in Japan, Master.

Dr. Roman: And it seems you got there safely. Sorry if the ride was bumpy, Fujimaru.

Dr. Roman: As if to be expected, I'm not getting a clear visual of you. This time it's even worse than normal.

Mash: I'm guessing you can't pinpoint the cause?

Dr. Roman: Yeah. There are times when you travel so far back that we don't have enough data on that era...but that's not the case here.

Dr. Roman: This observation impediment doesn't follow any pattern we've seen before. It's like someone is jamming our signal.

Dr. Roman: However, the fact remains that I'm picking up very unusual responses from that era. It's bound to turn into a Singularity if we leave it alone.

Dr. Roman: That's why I sent you two to check it out. For starters, what are your surroundings like?

Mash: Right. Well, it's safe here. I mean, we've never been to a place this idyllic. Especially, um...

Mash: The cherry blossoms are lovely. Just beautiful.

Dr. Roman: Cherry blossoms, huh? That's nice. I've seen them before, too. Although I didn't get to have a viewing party...

Mash: ...On top of that, there's a kind of sweet aroma...all around... Mm...


Fujimaru 1: Yeah, I'd say it smells delicious.


Fujimaru 2: Wait, could this scent be...

Dr. Roman: Hmmm... An aroma you say... I wonder what it could be. We definitely need more information.

Dr. Roman: My estimate is that you're in the Heian era right now. That said, the Heian era lasted for nearly 400 years.

Dr. Roman: Stand by while I try to pinpoint your exact coordinates. Please keep an eye on your surroundings.

Mash: Understood. Still... I can't get over how beautiful it is here.


Fujimaru 1: I can't get over how beautiful you are, Mash.

Mash:

R-Right... As you can see, my primary colors are purple and black... So I am no match for the beautiful pink of cherry blossoms.


Fujimaru 2: I wish we had some dumplings from the moon festivals.

Mash: Hehe. Shhh, Senpai. Caesar will appear if you bring that up again.

Mash: But... Ummm. Actually, this has been bothering me since we got here...

Mash: There's a big pile of petals over there, but it's human-shaped.

Mash: It's as if someone fell asleep while viewing the cherry blossoms and was left behind for a full day...

Sakata Kintoki: Ah—chooo! Ahhh, what, morning already!? Daaammit!

Mash: K-Kintoki!?

Dr. Roman: Okay, if I just do this and voila... Huh? Hey, I'm picking up a Servant in your proximity.

Dr. Roman: Going by the powerful magical energy reading... No doubt about it, it's a musclehead Servant with a suffocating presence!

Mash: Yes, Doctor. Mr. Golden, Sakata Kintoki himself is right in front of us.

Dr. Roman: Oh, Kintoki is there. That would explain this strength level I'm seeing.

Dr. Roman: Wait, what's he doing there!? Did you two bring him along!?

Sakata Kintoki: Oooh, my head hurts... I went overboard brawling with those bears...


Fujimaru 1: Golden morning, mister.

Sakata Kintoki: Oh! That's a nice greeting, Boss! To be golden in the morning is very golden!


Fujimaru 2: God morning, Kintoki.

Sakata Kintoki: O-Oh, that's a strange mangling of the language. “God morning” sounds a little ominous.

Sakata Kintoki: At any rate, it's good to start off with a greeting. It shows you have good manners.

Sakata Kintoki: A fulfilling day begins with a nice greeting, a nice breakfast, and nice wood-chopping.

Sakata Kintoki: My boss... Oh, I don't mean you. My former boss, or I guess more like my foster parent...

Sakata Kintoki: Boss Raikou, you know? She lived around here.

Sakata Kintoki: She was usually lax, but very serious about table manners. Even bad sitting posture would earn a demonic glare.

Mash: Um, Kintoki. My apologies for interrupting, but would you tell us what you're doing here?

Sakata Kintoki: Oh, sorry. I slipped into reminiscing about the olden days. But the reason I'm here—

Sakata Kintoki: Whoa, wait. Don't get too close.

Mash: Huh?

Sakata Kintoki: (I'm the one just waking up here... And even though I'm the man they called the Beast of Ashigara...)

Sakata Kintoki: (Dangerous... she's the true dangerous beast! I mean, look at her outfit!)

Mash: Senpai, he won't look me in the eye. Does he hate me now?


Fujimaru 1: I don't think that's it.


Fujimaru 2: Dangerous... beast!

Sakata Kintoki: No, it's not your fault, young lady. In fact, I would compliment you, if you were a man.

Mash: H-Huh? Thank you... I think?

Sakata Kintoki: Oh, you even bow to me?! Then I gotta man up... Here we go...

Mash: K-Kintoki!? Oh no, Senpai, Kintoki is punching himself hard in the cheek!

Sakata Kintoki: All right, that woke me up! So, shall we get going, Boss!?

Sakata Kintoki: I wouldn't call it a world crisis, but there's trouble in my neck of the woods.

Sakata Kintoki: Deep in the mountains, somebody called. I don't know who it is, but I'm goin' there.

Sakata Kintoki: All the signs point to good things, so I'll push on ahead. My axe will carve a way through the mountains. Make way for this thunderclap!


Fujimaru 1: Kintoki sure is in high spirits!

Mash: Yes, I've never seen him so full of energy.

Mash: That said... Where are we going?


Fujimaru 2: Um... Where are we going?

Sakata Kintoki: Huh? Where are we going? Why, that's obvious. It's—

???:

Gyaaaaooooo—!

Dr. Roman: Aaaah! A hostile response already! Is it–a wild beast?

Sakata Kintoki: Your ambush is well-timed—! But I don't think I've seen you around these parts before!

Mash: It seems to see us as food. It's charging!

Sakata Kintoki: This is also a perfect way to start the day. A nice warm-up! Let's go wild, Master!

--BATTLE--

Dr. Roman: Good work. I've finally got your coordinates now.

Dr. Roman: North latitude 35 degrees, east longitude 135 degrees 45 minutes approximately. The cultural and political center of Japan in this era.

Dr. Roman: In other words, if you go down that mountain—

Sakata Kintoki: There's only one place with a sky and cherry blossoms like this. We stand before Kyoto.

Dr. Roman: It's Kyo– He stole my line! I shouldn't have started off with the latitude and longitude!

Mash: It's okay, Doctor.

Mash: Someday we may have to take a geography test with the fate of the world hanging in the balance.

Mash: When that happens, this information should come in handy. Thank you very much.

Dr. Roman: Mash, you can be rather brutal sometimes... Okay, one more piece of new info.

Dr. Roman: You were just talking about an aroma, right? I got curious, so I analyzed it...

Dr. Roman: There's ethanol mixed in with the air. Fruits and crops fermented using yeast.

Dr. Roman: In other words, alcohol. What you're smelling is wine.

Sakata Kintoki: The smell of wine, huh?

Dr. Roman: Kintoki? You seem like a guy who can hold his drink. Bad memories or something?

Sakata Kintoki: I've never heard of anything good happening when alcohol was involved.

Dr. Roman: That's true. It's usually stories of someone getting drunk and embarrassing themselves!

Sakata Kintoki: ...That's right. Jeez, I've got a golden bad feeling about this.

Mash: ...

Dr. Roman: Enough about drinking. I've located the point of the abnormality too.

Dr. Roman: Ignore what we can't understand for now, and head there as planned to investigate it.

Dr. Roman: That's why you're here, right, Kintoki? But when did you use the Rayshift?

Sakata Kintoki: Huh? Boss was the one who called me, right?

Sakata Kintoki: I just found myself here all of a sudden! I was bored, so I trained with a bear, slept, and then it was morning.

Dr. Roman: ...Hmm? So you were forcibly summoned there.

Sakata Kintoki: Yeah. Looks like there's more to it, but the details don't matter. Boss, you need more people, right?

Sakata Kintoki: Then leave it to me! As you can see, I've got more strength than I know what to do with!

Dr. Roman: Thanks, that's a big help. Take care and proceed.

Sakata Kintoki: This is a bad mist. Smoke on the whatsits, you know?

Dr. Roman: There's a bit of a ways till you get to the source. What's the situation where you're at?

Mash: It looks like we're in a residential district near Kyoto... But something seems strange...

Kyoto Resident: Hahahaha! Ahahahaha! Food! Drink! Bring more!

Kyoto Resident: You rotten fiend! I never liked the way you married your childhood friend! Now let's celebrate!

Kyoto Resident: I like you. I love you! Take me! Take me now! Take me to paradise! Huh? You're married? Then die!


Fujimaru 1: It's chaos.


Fujimaru 2: Some kind of weird festival?

Mash: To be honest, I don't understand what's going on. Everyone seems to be doing something different.

Mash: Everybody's getting excited about their own thing... What is going on here?

Sakata Kintoki: A lot of them are saying some rough stuff, but they're still sane. It's fine until the blades come out, but...

Sakata Kintoki: ...Did you notice? It's getting thicker.

Mash: There's no telling what will happen. Senpai, we need to be more careful than ever.

Mash: The cherry blossoms are as pretty as ever but–

Mash: ... ...

Mash: Huh!? Senpai, watch out! (Squeeze)

Dr. Roman: What's wrong? What happened!? An enemy attack?


Fujimaru 1: Mash just jumped...on me...


Fujimaru 2: This sensation... She's a beast!

Mash: Whew. That was close. A cherry blossom petal fell on Senpai's head.

Dr. Roman: ...Huh?

Mash: Senpai has an important duty to perform. I can't let anything threaten that.

Mash: I, Mash Kyrielight, want to help Senpai. More, more, more. More.

Mash: So–Huh!? Look at that foul-smelling mystery trap! It may be an enemy Noble Phantasm! Get back! (Squeeze-squeeze)

Sakata Kintoki: No, that's just a fertilizer pit. if you fall in, you're gonna regret it.

Mash: ...Oh? Senpai, your face is a little red. Do you have a fever? ...No, perhaps a cold?

Mash: Are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere? Do you want headpats?

Mash: Come to think of it, you were sleeping with your stomach exposed this morning.

Mash: But don't worry. It's okay now that I'm here. I'll sleep next to you tonight.

Mash: With my Noble Phantasm I can keep you safe from cold viruses, as well as nasty cedar pollen!

Mash: I can shut out all nasty insects and external enemies completely!


Fujimaru 1: Mash is acting weird!?


Fujimaru 2: Medic... Medic!

Dr. Roman: Hmm? Wait a second. Is this... I see. I knew it.

Dr. Roman: By the way, how about you, Kintoki? Anything seem off with you?

Sakata Kintoki: No need to worry. I'm always golden.

Sakata Kintoki: Actually, I feel stronger! I feel like I'm overflowing with energy!

Mash: Did you hear that, Senpai? Mr. Golden is filled with too much energy, he says. Scary, huh?

Mash: But don't worry. Even if he approaches you with a sexual proposition,

Mash: my shield will deploy to secure you with incredible speed.

Sakata Kintoki: No, I'm not that kind of guy...

Sakata Kintoki: Hey, Boss? Is she always like this?


Fujimaru 1: Actually, she kind of is.


Fujimaru 2: No, this time it's worse than usual.

Dr. Roman: Um, well... This is extremely hard to say, but...

Dr. Roman: I'm seeing a slight change on her vitals. She's drunk.

Sakata Kintoki: Drunk? Just on this aroma?

Dr. Roman: Yeah. It doesn't seem to be affecting you, though.

Dr. Roman: It's because of the alcohol that's permeating the air. That's what's gotten into the people around you, too.

Dr. Roman: Whoever breathes it in gets drunk. That's why they're all acting like that.

Dr. Roman: How about you, Fujimaru? Anything seem strange?


Fujimaru 1: Not really. I'm sober.


Fujimaru 2: I've never been drunk, so I don't know.

Dr. Roman: Hmm. Maybe the protective power that Mash should have is being transferred to her Master?

Dr. Roman: Still, that's the right thing for the moment. No matter how drunk she is, Mash will follow Fujimaru's orders.

Dr. Roman: If Fujimaru went nuts, we'd have a golden disaster on our hands.

Mash: Senpai! Senpai! Stop spending so much time talking with the Doctor, and let's go. We have a ways to walk.

Sakata Kintoki: Guess we'll have to keep going. Though my bad feeling keeps getting worse... Huh?

Kyoto Resident:

Yahoo! A bunch o' fresh country bumpkins!

Kyoto Resident: Leave all your valuables!

Mash: I will not! Senpai's going with me!

Mash: Senpai, we'll eliminate this obstacle. Let's do it together!

Dr. Roman: What's strange about this is that she seems normal at first glance...

Dr. Roman: Is there a reason they're getting drunk like this?

--BATTLE--

Mash: ...

Sakata Kintoki: Tch... It stinks. I mean, there are good drinks and bad drinks.

Sakata Kintoki: And this is a really bad one. It ain't something a person should be drinking.

Dr. Roman: ...Harder to reach you... All I can manage is audio... Be careful...

Mash: It's strange. We should be getting closer to central Kyoto, but–

Mash: It feels so empty. I don't see a single person.

Dr. Roman: What? Kyoto was the center of Japan in that era. There can't just be no one there–

Mash: But it's true. I'll add that there are several corpses lying on the side of the road.

Mash: It seems clear that something's going up ahead. ...Mr. Golden, you know Kyoto well, right?

Sakata Kintoki: Yeah, I guess. But this is different. This ain't the Kyoto I know.

Sakata Kintoki: Kyoto's a golden city. The atmosphere, the people, even the laughter shines.

Sakata Kintoki: That's normal and natural in Kyoto. That's why in the future that amazing, cool golden temple is gonna be built.

Dr. Roman: (He's probably talking about the Kinkaku... Rokuon-ji...)

Sakata Kintoki: I don't like it. This dead, alcohol-stinking air ain't Kyoto.

Sakata Kintoki: Drinks are for warming up the heart. It ain't something to melt the marrow of your bones.

Sakata Kintoki: ...Tch. I don't want to remember it, but this alcohol is—

Mash: Doctor, I see a big gate. Is it past this?

Dr. Roman: ...Yes...but...be careful...

Dr. Roman: Uh! What is this? A dragonkin!? Everyone, be extremely careful—

Mash: Ah! I see something near the gate, Master!

Sakata Kintoki: ...And to think I thought this was just a lot of fun. Pathetic. I feel pathetic.

Sakata Kintoki: Poison, miasma, hedonism, and decadence, all mixed up. That means only one thing.

Sakata Kintoki: That ain't a bunch of little things mixed together. It's the real aura of an oni.

Ibaraki-Douji: Haha! Bwahahahaha!

Sakata Kintoki: And there you are, Ibaraki-Douji!

Ibaraki-Douji: I wondered who it was. Haha! Who does it turn out to be but Sakata Kintoki!

Ibaraki-Douji: It's been so damn long! So long! You alone? Where's Raikou? Where's Tsuna?

Sakata Kintoki: You've got eyes, don't you? But you... You ain't alone, are ya?

Sakata Kintoki: Tell me. What is that? What is that thing floating behind you?

Shuten-Douji: ...

Ibaraki-Douji: Hah! This is my master, and my sacrifice!

Ibaraki-Douji: Our fallen leader of the oni clan, Shuten-Douji!

Ibaraki-Douji: Bwaha! Hahaha! Hahahahaha!

Sakata Kintoki: —!

Ibaraki-Douji: Hah! Ticked off, huh? Even behind that strange blindfold I can tell!

Ibaraki-Douji: Your eyes are shining with a burning light. That must've ticked you off, huh?

Ibaraki-Douji: —Humph. But I am even more displeased than you. Would the likes of you really care about Shuten?

Ibaraki-Douji: After you tricked her and slew her? Why would you care about Shuten when I am about to eat her?

Sakata Kintoki: You idiot! I ain't worried! I don't care what you do!

Sakata Kintoki: If you're gonna fight each other, do it somewhere else! And anyway—

Sakata Kintoki: You have any idea how dangerous that wench is? After you eat her she'll devour you from the inside out!

Ibaraki-Douji: –Humph. That's right. The old me wouldn't have been able to defeat her.

Ibaraki-Douji: But you know what? —Race forward, Sougenbi!

Sakata Kintoki: Gwaah!?

Dr. Roman: ...What ...happened...?

Mash: Some huge flaming thing just flew out and blew Kintoki away!

Mash: And... now it's coming back! That's... That's...

Sakata Kintoki: Tch. Is that...your arm?

Ibaraki-Douji: Indeed. Indeed! Indeed! Indeed! This is my arm of destruction! I call it the Great Grudge of Rashomon!

Sakata Kintoki: She's got a damn rocket punch! I thought Tsuna hacked that thing off!

Mash: No way... That's a Noble Phantasm. She's using her own severed arm as a Noble Phantasm–

Ibaraki-Douji: Bwahahaha! Little girl! Little girl! Little girl! Have you ever seen anything like me?

Ibaraki-Douji: Then carve this into your mind, so you'll have something to remember as the maggots eat your guts!

Ibaraki-Douji: Raging like a beast! Terrifying like a god! Frivolous like an insect!

Ibaraki-Douji: We know not the weakness of mankind, nor the pride of a warrior! We use our own rotted arms as weapons!

Ibaraki-Douji: That is what an oni is. We are man-eating monsters, who inspire fear by our very presence!

Mash: Ugh!

Ibaraki-Douji: ...They're speaking to me. Yes, someone, somewhere, is saying it.

Ibaraki-Douji: –Devour. Devour. Devour. Devour. Devour. Devour. Devour. Devour. Devour. Devour–

Ibaraki-Douji: Devour mankind. Devour you!

Ibaraki-Douji: You are human. Flesh for me to eat. You are Sakata Kintoki, my mortal enemy.

Ibaraki-Douji: And I am Ibaraki-Douji. The ruler of all the oni on Mt. Ooe!

Ibaraki-Douji: And thus... You shall not leave this place alive!

Sakata Kintoki: ...Stupid. Ibaraki's even stupider than last time.

Mash: You know her, Kintoki?

Sakata Kintoki: Yeah. She's just an animal that doesn't like people. We don't get along.

Sakata Kintoki: But she wasn't that bad. She used to follow the laws of the food chain...

Mash: But now she's not... She's an oni killing people for no reason, not just to survive?

Sakata Kintoki: Yup. That's what she's become. And that puts her in my jurisdiction.

Ibaraki-Douji: I see you've got some yummy kids with you! They can fill my belly too!

Sakata Kintoki: Sure, bring it, little oni! I'll smash that big arm of yours into tiny pieces!

Ibaraki-Douji: That's my line, you wannabe westerner! I'll eat your bones along with Shuten!

Shuten-Douji: ...

Sakata Kintoki: (That oni girl screwed up big... Isn't Mt. Ooe yours, fool?)

Ibaraki-Douji: Aah, aah– A lovely wind is blowing. It smells of guts and blood and alcohol.

Ibaraki-Douji: It is the smell of the demonic city that I desire!

Ibaraki-Douji: I'm so happy, Kintoki. Soon–the smell of your guts will be mixed in with it too!

Ibaraki-Douji: Bwaha! Bwahahahaha!

Mash: Her murderous intent is incredible... She's coming, Master! Get ready to fight!

Sakata Kintoki: Right. One warning, Boss. that ain't the Ibaraki I know.


Fujimaru 1: Is she that strong?

Sakata Kintoki: She might be strong enough that you could throw all your Servants at her and have a 50/50 chance.


Fujimaru 2: I knew it! Her lines are really...something!

Sakata Kintoki: Nah, she was always like that. That hasn't changed a bit.

Sakata Kintoki: But she's a lot stronger! A helluva lot stronger than the Ibaraki I knew!

Sakata Kintoki: Anyway, this is good stuff!

Sakata Kintoki: The little oni who hid in Shuten's shadow has grown up to reach the level of a god!

Sakata Kintoki: A worthy opponent! Let's go, Boss! Time for some golden oni hunting!

Chase Battle: Back From Zero

Sakata Kintoki: Tch! She's fierce!

Ibaraki-Douji: Bwahaha! Bwahaha! This is exciting! It's so exciting, huh, Kintoki?

Ibaraki-Douji: If you grab a man he snaps in two. Pat him and you'll split him open!

Ibaraki-Douji: But battling you is like wrestling a mountain! And this won't stop till one of us is dead!

Ibaraki-Douji: It would be boring to let this end so soon. Time to take a break!

Sakata Kintoki: I won't let you go, idiot! Blow 'em away, Golden–

Ibaraki-Douji: Bwaha! Don't be in such a hurry! Don't be in such a hurry! Our banquet continues!

Ibaraki-Douji: Bwahahaha!

Mash: She ran beyond the gate so quickly... She's so fast.

Mash: ...I'm sorry, Mr. Golden. We're badly damaged as well. We've used too much energy.

Mash: It feels very dangerous to pass through the gate like this...

Sakata Kintoki: Yeah, you're right. Sorry, this wasn't just my fight, was it?

Sakata Kintoki: Fine. We'll come back tomorrow. Let's eat something while we can.

Sakata Kintoki: Even with Kyoto in this state, there's gotta be a place to eat. I recommend some golden mash and golden pastries.

Sakata Kintoki: Get some energy stored up. Oni are greedier than any other creature, and there's no telling what they'll do.

Sakata Kintoki: This might end up being a much longer fight than you're expecting.

Chase Battle: Drunkenness and Relaxation

Ibaraki-Douji: Bwahahaha! This is such fun! Such fun!

Sakata Kintoki: It ain't fun for you! Your eyes aren't laughing at all!

Ibaraki-Douji: –Humph. Don't insult me. I'm just not used to laughing.

Ibaraki-Douji: To laugh from the bottom of one's heart, huh... I can't do it like Shuten.

Mash: She got away again...

Mash: But I could tell we were hitting her. We're wearing her down, I think.

Mash: Let's just stay calm and be careful.


Fujimaru 1: It's such a help that you're always calm.

Mash: I-Is it? I'm glad...


Fujimaru 2: We're getting tired, though...

Mash: Yes. We need to recover our strength as well.

Mash: Let's retreat a little and make camp. That should let us talk to the Doctor as well.

Dr. Roman: Hmm... Got it. Thanks for the report. Just keep it up and don't let your guard down.

Dr. Roman: Sorry. There's just so much static near the gate that I can't analyze anything or communicate with you.

Dr. Roman: By the way... Fujimaru.

Dr. Roman: How's Mash looking? Is she, um, drunk? (Psst psst)


Fujimaru 1: She's normal during battle.

Dr. Roman: Is she? But...


Fujimaru 2: (Point to your side without saying a word)

Mash: Dinner's ready, Senpai! We're having what Mr. Golden requested, golden rice balls.

Mash: Since we're on the battlefield, it's curry-flavored! Everyone loves curry! But unfortunately your fingers get a little sticky.

Mash: There's only one way to deal with this. Open wide, Senpai!

Dr. Roman: Y-Yeah... The same, huh?

Dr. Roman: If she's normal during combat, and near that gate,

Dr. Roman: maybe she's just barely keeping it under control when she's near danger, perhaps?


Fujimaru 1: She seems stronger during combat, actually.

Dr. Roman: Is it the same as the way Kintoki said he's overflowing with power?

Mash: Senpai...you're not going to eat it? You're not going to open wide?


Fujimaru 1: S-Sure!


Fujimaru 2: Sorry, I was frozen in joy!

Mash: I'm glad. Here, open up!

Mash: Is it good? I've got more!

Dr. Roman: W-Well, I'm just glad it's not interfering with the battle.

Dr. Roman: I don't know what's going on, but clearly, there's some kind of alcohol in the air there.

Dr. Roman: Until we can deal with the root cause, it won't go away.

Dr. Roman: You'll have to make the best of what you've got.

Dr. Roman: ...Oh, right. I did come up with a plan. Something I wanted you to try when you had the time...

Chase Battle: Alcoholic Fog in the Demonic Capital

Mash: They got away again.

Mash: ...No. Considering our injuries and fatigue– I guess we dealt a fair amount of damage.

Mash: ...


Fujimaru 1: What are you looking at, Mash?


Fujimaru 2: If you're tired, you should rest.

Mash: I was just thinking about what the Doctor said yesterday.


Fujimaru 1: (So you were listening to our conversation?)

Mash: Our goal is to resolve whatever's causing the abnormalities that exist in this place.

Mash: At the moment, it's clear that our biggest problem is the oni that lives by this gate–

Mash: But maybe we don't necessarily have to defeat it.

Sakata Kintoki: You want to turn a blind eye to it? That doesn't seem like a golden idea...

Mash: No, I'm not saying we should turn a blind eye to it.

Mash: But say that Ibaraki-Douji's power comes from this “source” beyond the gate–

Mash: In which case, it would make more sense to wipe that out first. That's what I meant.

Mash: For instance, by climbing over the gate rather than under it. Or maybe we could find a way to go around it...

Sakata Kintoki: Ahh, so that's what you meant. Then your objective makes sense, but...

Sakata Kintoki: We couldn't possibly climb over the gate. Look at its top.

Mash: ...Yes. I did see that too.

Mash: There's a sinister, thick, fog-like, cloudy-looking something that's hanging over the gate and wall.

Mash: I don't know what it is, but I'm willing to bet it's something bad.

Mash: There's no telling what it would do even to a Servant if they tried to touch it...


Fujimaru 1: Looks like climbing over the gate is not possible...

Mash: Yes, Master. Which is why I'd like to go scout a little and see if we can find a detour around it.


Fujimaru 2: So how about finding a detour?

Mash: Yes, Master. Let's check the area again for possible detours before we stop to rest for the night.

Mash: Even if we can't climb over the gate or the enclosing fences, if there's some other path to the other side...

Mash: Maybe our prospects will look better...

Sakata Kintoki: ...Doesn't seem like there's anything.

Mash: Yes. Basically, it seems the heart of Kyoto is surrounded on all sides by that poisonous fog-looking substance.

Mash: That said... Now that we're seeing the west end of the city for the first time, I've just realized...

Sakata Kintoki: There's a freakin' humongous cliff here for some reason. I almost can't believe it, but there it is.

Sakata Kintoki: This era... I mean, this Japan right now, must have shrunken or something. Or should I say the islands have been squashed?

Sakata Kintoki: The topography is crazy. Unexpectedly the ocean is up against Kyoto's west side...

Mash: ...Right. It does look like there's something like an island beyond that fog, but since we don't have a boat...

Sakata Kintoki: I don't dislike this golden sense of scale, though. But it looks like there's no way to make that detour.

Mash: You're probably right. It seems... that we do need to beat Ibaraki-Douji in order to proceed.


Fujimaru 1: It may be a tough fight, but let's give it our best shot.

Mash: Yes, Master. Of course, we will. As poor as my abilities are, I will absolutely give it my utmost effort.


Fujimaru 2: We can't give up now.

Mash: Yes, Master. Of course, we won't. I have no intention of giving up.

Mash: As poor as my abilities are, I will absolutely give it my utmost effort.

Mash: ...

Mash: (Even so, Kyoto... this topography... It's just too different from the Japan we know...)

Mash: (What on earth is happening in this Japan?)

Chase Battle: The Circumstances of the Oni

Mash: Again!


Fujimaru 1: We were really trying not to let her escape this time too, but...


Fujimaru 2: We just can't seem to make her stop!

Mash: Yes, Master. She retreats with astonishing agility.

Sakata Kintoki: Whenever I see her arm, I'm reminded against my will.

Sakata Kintoki: When Tsuna's sword Higekiri chopped off her arm, she still escaped before he could deal the finishing blow.

Sakata Kintoki: These aren't just flukes. It must be some kind of ability.

Mash: Maybe she has the “Disengage” skill. That would be very bothersome.

Mash: By the way, Mr. Golden, what you just said makes me wonder something. Did you know her while you were alive too?

Sakata Kintoki: Only her battle habits. We fought quite a few times.


Fujimaru 1: Did you know the captured oni... Shuten-Douji, too?

Sakata Kintoki: ...

Sakata Kintoki: Aaah, well, yeah. ...She was the same as Ibaraki, I guess. Yeah.

Mash: Were the two of them friends? Or, were they more like boss and subordinate?

Sakata Kintoki: Ibaraki was the boss of all the oni on Mt. Ooe. Shuten also apparently lived there, as a freeloader—

Sakata Kintoki: But Ibaraki treated her as her superior, saying Shuten had something she lacked.

Sakata Kintoki: In terms of ranking within the oni clan, they were equals. But that was based solely on Ibaraki's decree...which caused the kinds of problems you'd expect.

Sakata Kintoki: But I do get where Ibaraki was coming from. That Shuten... She was, I guess you can say, a coward in a lot of ways.

Sakata Kintoki: And she was wicked to the core. But she was honestly good to those she'd formed a kind of bond with.

Sakata Kintoki: I thought she was a spirit of caprice and mischief in the form of an oni, but she's also chivalrous, dutiful, and humane.

Sakata Kintoki: Yeah, she was a natural-born leader, that Shuten-Douji. Though she caused plenty of trouble for her subordinates.

Mash: I see, I see.

Sakata Kintoki: And just what the hell are you smiling about, huh?

Mash: I beg your pardon. You just seemed oddly gentle while you were saying all that.

Mash: But that boss oni is now being held prisoner by Ibaraki-Douji.

Mash: She seemed to be completely out cold too. I wonder what happened...

Sakata Kintoki: ...Who knows? Maybe Ibaraki finally ran out of patience with her.

Sakata Kintoki: Oni will always be demonic. And I'll hunt them down. That's all there is to it.

Sakata Kintoki: I'm heading out. If you all want to rest, then go on and rest already.

Chase Battle: Shuten's Memories

Shuten-Douji: ...

Sakata Kintoki: ...

Shuten-Douji: Fufu. Just what are you staring at, boy? Well, not that it's any bother to me to be stared at.

Sakata Kintoki: ...I'm not staring. You're standing where I'm facing.

Shuten-Douji: Fufu. What a mean human you are...

Shuten-Douji: Now, shall we begin? I've lost count of how many times we've clashed at this point.

Shuten-Douji: My signature weapon is lacking its best bits... Would you forgive me?

Shuten-Douji: If it were to clash head-on with that battle-axe of yours, it'd be such exquisite fun, such exquisite pleasure...

Shuten-Douji: I'm not fond of pointless battle, you see. I'll take you down with sensuality, not by brute force.

Shuten-Douji: But, well, we're only in this situation because it doesn't seem to work on you, right?

Shuten-Douji: Oh dear, oh dear. If I can't de-bone you with desire for me without lopping off your head, I'll lose self-confidence.

Shuten-Douji: But I suppose it's hopeless. After all... you like fighting way more, isn't that right?

Sakata Kintoki: —It is. That's what I want. That's all I need.

Sakata Kintoki: Oni are evil. That's what you are to me, Shuten.

Shuten-Douji: So you say. But I thought I saw you take pity on another oni before me and let her slip away?

Shuten-Douji: Really, I'm quite furious now. De-boning you won't be enough to satisfy me.

Shuten-Douji: That's it! I'll rip out your bones and then use my metal rod to torment you. And with that, we'll erase all the history we've shared till now.


Fujimaru 1: ...That dream just now...

Sakata Kintoki: —Tch. Did I wake you? Sorry.

Sakata Kintoki: I let my guard down too. I dozed off and you saw a pathetic comedy from long ago.

Sakata Kintoki: But yeah... I've crossed paths with Shuten a number of times.

Sakata Kintoki: When we've fought for real, we always end in a draw. When we've sparred for fun or for a bet, we always end in a draw.

Sakata Kintoki: I guess we'd both got it in our heads that we'd found an opponent we were dead even with...

Sakata Kintoki: Boss Raikou called me out on it, asked what I thought I was doing, striking up a rivalry with an oni.

Sakata Kintoki: Boss was the one who served Shuten drugged wine, which put all the oni to sleep.

Sakata Kintoki: You know how the rest of the story goes. I snuck up behind Shuten as she slept and decapitated her.

Sakata Kintoki: And yet, that wretch... Even as she was dying, she gave me a little grin.

Sakata Kintoki: “Guess I'll go a bit ahead of you, 'kay?” she murmured. Like she was enjoying her life to the very last.

Sakata Kintoki: ...Jeez. She really was quite a woman, actually. Even now, that never felt like a victory to me.

Sakata Kintoki: And, so... That's why I can't stomach the idea that she is being controlled by Ibaraki now.

Sakata Kintoki: I'll take on Ibaraki since she's an oni, but as a victim of Shuten's annoying antics, I can't ignore this.

Sakata Kintoki: At the end, I'm just venting my own anger! You don't need to worry about it, Master.

Sakata Kintoki: This fight is finally drawing to a close. It's time I gave her a proper thrashing!

Chase Battle: Ibaraki's Obstinacy

Ibaraki-Douji: Urgh... Arrgh!

Sakata Kintoki: It's a bitter pill to swallow, isn't it, Boss-Lady? Time to pay the toll!

Ibaraki-Douji: ...Not...not yet.

Do you think I am so easily slain!?

Ibaraki-Douji: You should know better than that, you fool!

Ibaraki-Douji: No matter how many swords pierce us, no matter how many spears impale us...

Ibaraki-Douji: We do not stop. Not until we've had our fill.

Ibaraki-Douji: We are the apex of this filthy existence... and, because we continually devour the souls of others, the embodiment of life!

Ibaraki-Douji: That–is what an oni truly is!

Mash: Ugh... This heat...!

Ibaraki-Douji: My Inferno Fist has obliterated entire armies— May it burn the flesh from your bones!

Ibaraki-Douji: —Blaze, Sougenbi!

Sakata Kintoki: Hot! Hot, hot, hot! Are you trying to burn yourself up too, bastard?!

Mash: Her Noble Phantasm's deployed!

Mash: ...Whew. We managed to defend ourselves through that attack, but... it looks like Ibaraki-Douji got away.

Mash: I can't believe she could summon up so much latent power...

Sakata Kintoki: Yeah, that was basically her last rally. She won't be able to summon any more of those flames.

Sakata Kintoki: She saves that Noble Phantasm for last, not to destroy her opponent, but to give her cover under which she can run away.

Sakata Kintoki: That's why she can't win against Shuten. She acts like a ruffian, but deep down, she's submissive.

Mash: Ahh. Well, then... What about Shuten?

Sakata Kintoki: She's the exact opposite of Ibaraki. She looks refined on the surface, but she's a true oni inside.

Sakata Kintoki: But never mind that now. We're finally close to finishing this, Boss.

Mash: Agreed. We've all been pushing through our accumulating fatigue...


Fujimaru 1: Yeah. Stay on your guard. Let's go.

Mash: Right. After all these battles, I know all too well how terrifying oni can be.


Fujimaru 2: ...Let's win this thing.

Mash: Yes, Master. Of course we will.

Mash: Let's take this time to prepare ourselves fully and go into battle in our best possible condition.

Mash: Everything we've done will be for tomorrow's decisive battle–

Showdown: Defeating the Oni

Sakata Kintoki: Now get blown away! Eat this–

Sakata Kintoki: Golden Spark!

Ibaraki-Douji:

Urghh, aaaaaauuughhhh!

Mash: We... We did it!

Mash: She had so much stamina I wondered if it was inexhaustible, but...at last! That was a fatal hit!

Ibaraki-Douji: Why? Why were you able to follow me this far?!

Ibaraki-Douji: I stand above all the oni! Humans should not be able to slay me, even if you are Heroic Spirits!

Sakata Kintoki: Don't be ridiculous, Ibaraki. You're not above anything.

Sakata Kintoki: You're just a child pretending to be. You lacked the guts you needed to the very end.

Ibaraki-Douji: How dare you! How could any part of me be deemed lacking!?

Sakata Kintoki: You really need someone to spell it out for you? I guess you do. Okay, Boss, would you kindly enlighten her?


Fujimaru 1: Basically, you never ate Shuten, did you?

Ibaraki-Douji: Hargh—!? Y-You miserable human!

Ibaraki-Douji: How could you utter such a cruel suggestion!? Eat Shuten? I only said that in a hypothetical sense!

Ibaraki-Douji: And you took it literally... Do I really seem like someone who could eat Shuten!?

Ibaraki-Douji: I respect Shuten and haven't hurt so much as a hair upon her head, you fools! In the first place, I'd be too afraid to! She'd slaughter me!

Sakata Kintoki: See? Told you this was how Ibaraki was, right?


Fujimaru 1: Yeah, she's not so...


Fujimaru 2: What a chicken...

Ibaraki-Douji: Y-You little wretch, I don't know what you called me, but I can sense that it was some kind of dreadful insult. Wasn't it, human!?

Ibaraki-Douji: What part of me do you dare to call weak!? Speak your name, knave!


Fujimaru 1: It's Fujimaru.

Ibaraki-Douji: All right, I've memorized it. I've memorized your name, human! I shall curse it to the end of time! Writhe in mortal terror!

Mash: ...Saying all that was perhaps a bit counter-productive... All the terror I felt for you before has been reversed. Right, Senpai?

Ibaraki-Douji: Even the black-clad one is... Why? Why do you not fear me!?

Sakata Kintoki: Jeez, you're actually pretty funny. Especially because your speech is so melodramatic!

Ibaraki-Douji: I-I can hardly help that! It is the custom of oni to speak in this way!

Ibaraki-Douji: Oni must be proud at all times, even in the way we speak! That's what my mother taught me!

Sakata Kintoki: Right, that's great. Just go on preserving those proud oni customs then.

Sakata Kintoki: That's an oni's strong point and pride, isn't it? All right, what was this whole farce about?

Sakata Kintoki: You capture an oni despite being an oni yourself, then serve humans alcohol hoping we'll self-destruct?

Sakata Kintoki: That's not like you at all. It's because you drink more than you can handle. So go wash your face and come back again.

Ibaraki-Douji: Ulp, gulp!

Ibaraki-Douji: All right, then. I acknowledge it was my loss this time! And I'll acknowledge you humans' so-called guts!

Ibaraki-Douji: But my horns remain unbroken! So next time you insult me, I will make you regret it deeply!

Conclusion: Awakening From a Drunken Dream

Mash: —Ibaraki-Douji has retreated. We've won, Master!

Dr. Roman: Yeah, I can confirm it here! It was the first time we tried it, so I'm glad it worked!

Dr. Roman: But the comms are still messed up.

Dr. Roman: I'm seeing a tiny Servant response in front of you...

Dr. Roman: I'm pretty sure it's just static, but...

Mash: No. That's not static, Doctor.

Shuten-Douji: ...

Shuten-Douji: ...Mmm. Fwah?

Mash: Sh-She woke up, Senpai! But she's an oni just like Ibaraki-Douji—

Sakata Kintoki: Yup. Time for round two, huh?

Shuten-Douji: Mnnyaah... Mmm? Mmmm? ...Ooohh!

Shuten-Douji: Is that you, boy? It's been forever. How've you been?

Sakata Kintoki: ! EAT THIS!

Mash: K-Kintoki!? You're just attacking without warning!?

--BATTLE--

Sakata Kintoki: ...

Mash: Sh-She stopped his axe at the last second. She didn't even try to dodge–

Shuten-Douji: Oh my. Such passion!

Shuten-Douji: Jumping me as I get up... fufu. You must be about ready to explode, huh?

Shuten-Douji: I don't mind. You're as handsome as ever, and it would wake me up.

Sakata Kintoki: Hey... What happened to you?

Shuten-Douji: What do you mean? I'm me, aren't I?

Shuten-Douji: My pale skin, my swelling breasts, my voluptuous behind... They're all like you remember, right?

Shuten-Douji: —Want to take a closer look?

Sakata Kintoki: I-I do not! Why don't you have any shame?


Fujimaru 1: Golden... Were you two in a relationship?

Sakata Kintoki: I'm always a victim! And she's like this with everybody!

Sakata Kintoki: More importantly!

Sakata Kintoki: You're a greater oni than Ibaraki, so how'd you wind up looking just like an ordinary girl!

Mash: ...Yes. The power I sense from her is very weak.

Shuten-Douji: Oh, you're right. I was wondering where all my strength had gone.

Shuten-Douji: Looks like most of my power got absorbed by Ibaraki. Oh dear. That shouldn't be possible, huh?

Mash: Do you remember...what happened?

Shuten-Douji: A little. So I know you tried really hard to save me, didn't you, boy?

Sakata Kintoki: I did not! You were just a bonus!

Shuten-Douji: Fufu. I was only half-awake, but I got to feel like a trapped princess.

Shuten-Douji: It was a new experience... I liked it.

Shuten-Douji: Oh, right. A rescued princess is supposed to thank you, isn't she? ...How about a kiss of gratitude? Come on...

Sakata Kintoki: SPA—RK!

Mash: He jumped back fast!

Shuten-Douji: Aww, you're no fun. You didn't have to run away.

Mash: ...Shuten-Douji, right? I'd like an explanation as to what's going on here.

Shuten-Douji: Fair enough. I guess I can't spend all my time playing with the boy. ...I'll take you there. Follow me.

Shuten-Douji: Look, this is what you're searching for, isn't it?

Mash: That's...

Dr. Roman: The Holy Grail...or at least, something that looks very similar!

Dr. Roman: I'm sure of it. What you're looking at is the root cause of all this!

Dr. Roman: It seems filled with some kind of fluid. That's...

Shuten-Douji: I just woke up here with Ibaraki somehow, and this thing was right in front of us.

Shuten-Douji: And it was filled with delicious wine.

Mash: Um... You didn't.

Shuten-Douji: Yup. I drank it.

Mash: ...Something so obviously suspicious?

Dr. Roman: I don't want to ask, but why?

Sakata Kintoki: That's just who she is. I bet Ibaraki didn't want to, though.

Shuten-Douji: Of course, Ibaraki was scared. She said it was a bad idea to eat things you find on the ground.

Shuten-Douji: But when I asked her if it she was too good for my wine, she gave in and drank it down with tears in her eyes.

Mash: Ibaraki... You should've been nicer to her...

Shuten-Douji: And then after I drank for a while, I got sleepy. And then I woke up like this.

Shuten-Douji: Ibaraki absorbed my power, and I became a trapped princess, and the boy came after my body and soul...

Sakata Kintoki: I did not!

Mash: I-I see. But in the end, you don't know what this is either?

Shuten-Douji: No, I don't, but I do know this: this is wine and I drank it.

Shuten-Douji: And you know how it ended up, right? So the answer is plain. This is–wine that grants wishes.

Mash: !!!

Dr. Roman: Wine poured into a Grail... Its role as an omnipotent wish granter activated... But is that really possible?

Shuten-Douji: Come to think of it, I've been hearing someone's voice for a while.

Shuten-Douji: I thought maybe I was just drunk... Is it an onmyouji? He sounds like a wimp... Well, it doesn't matter.

Shuten-Douji: Just so you're clear, this wine doesn't grant the wish itself.

Shuten-Douji: It grants the wish in your heart, but–it twists it first.

Shuten-Douji: Wine makes you drunk, and leads to bewilderment... Maybe that's why. That's what makes it fun, though.

Dr. Roman: I see–which means that wine vaporized and spread through the air,

Dr. Roman: and made all the normal people who couldn't fight it “drunk.”

Dr. Roman: That's why everyone in the Kyoto area was acting so strangely.

Dr. Roman: Some people can handle their drink better than others. I'm glad Fujimaru was okay...

Dr. Roman: ...By the way, Mash.

Dr. Roman: What would you do if a paper plane flew towards Fujimaru right now?

Dr. Roman: Say it was a paper plane thrown by the world champion paper plane thrower with a world record on the line.

Mash: That's quite an undertaking... A new world record must involve a lot of suffering and drama, I assume.

Mash: But I would immediately deploy my Noble Phantasm. Senpai's safety is my first priority.

Dr. Roman: (...Mash is tipsy too.)

Dr. Roman: Wait a second. Does that mean it's not just humans who get drunk here...but Servants too?

Shuten-Douji: I think so. Ibaraki's wish was probably to go on a rampage with me...

Shuten-Douji: But that got twisted into going on a rampage with my power.

Mash: I'm not being affected, so it's okay... But what about Mr. Golden?

Sakata Kintoki: My wish...

Dr. Roman: Come to think of it, you said you felt a lot stronger. Was that it?

Shuten-Douji: Oh—you wished for the same thing, huh? Did you want to play with me that much?

Shuten-Douji: To hit each other with our exposed parts, staring into each other's eyes, moaning like beasts–

Sakata Kintoki: N-No! A-Are you stupid or something? Of course not!

Shuten-Douji: Sorry... I can't take you up on that offer the way I am right now.

Shuten-Douji: But you worked some of that out with Ibaraki, right? I guess you ended up with the wrong girl.

Sakata Kintoki: ...

Shuten-Douji: Now then, I remember the kind of wine I drank, so— Let's smash it.

Mash: That's right. This thing is the cause of it all anyway. We can't end this unless we destroy it.

Sakata Kintoki: ...Hey.

Shuten-Douji: What?

Sakata Kintoki: You... What was your wish?

Shuten-Douji: ...Fufu. What do you think?

Sakata Kintoki: Tch. Hell if I know.

Shuten-Douji: You're worried about me, aren't you? You're so cute... Both your body and your soul.

Shuten-Douji: I like to mess around—but I especially like men who only have one love.

Shuten-Douji: It's a shame to get rid of this wine... But I guess we don't have a choice.

Shuten-Douji: This wine makes you drunk on your own wishes.

Shuten-Douji: And when you're drunk, things always seem twisted. This time it was especially bad. It twists you, yourself.

Shuten-Douji: This goes for Ibaraki too, but I've been far too twisted.

Shuten-Douji: I've got no power, I can't eat people, I can't attack the boy... I'm just a little girl. This isn't me.

Shuten-Douji: So I can't drink it down. I can't just doze and enjoy the wine.

Shuten-Douji: No matter how much I've longed to see what I see when I open my eyes—

Shuten-Douji: This is just—a dream, brought on by too much drinking.

Shuten-Douji: And now it's time to wake up.

Dr. Roman: Oh– Yes! We did it! The cause of the abnormality is gone!

Shuten-Douji: Now that I'm awake... It's time to go get drunk again.

Shuten-Douji: Once I am, I won't let you get away, boy. I swear–I'll pay you back for last time.

Shuten-Douji: And then you can pour me drinks as part of my harem of hotties... Fufu...

Shuten-Douji: See you around.

Sakata Kintoki: She looked so satisfied as she disappeared... What did she want, anyway?

Mash: I'm not sure, but I think I can guess.

Mash: I think maybe since you were worried about her so much...

Mash: She brought you here so she could laugh and tell you not to worry?

Sakata Kintoki: ...Tch. What the heck? That just makes me worry more.

Sakata Kintoki: ...Man, this ain't golden at all.

Sakata Kintoki: ...Anyway, looks like my role here's done. I might see you guys again somewhere, though.

Sakata Kintoki: Just be careful.

Mash: ...Yes. Not all the mysteries have been solved.

Mash: She said that there was a cup filled with wine placed in front of her. Which means–

Mash: Who put the cup there– And who filled it with wine?

Sakata Kintoki: ...Who knows? If there was somebody behind it, this ain't over yet. Something else will happen.

Sakata Kintoki: But this is all for now. The oni of Rashomon are gone. So I'm leaving.

Dr. Roman: There are no Servants left. We can assume we're finished here.

Dr. Roman: Good work, Mash. Good work, Fujimaru.

Mash: Yes. Let's head back to Chaldea, Senpai.

Mash: ... (Staring)


Fujimaru 1: What is it, Mash?

Mash: ...I'm sorry. I was a little curious what would happen if you were to get drunk...

Mash: ...Um, if you'd like, I'd be happy to have some alcohol with you after dinner.

Mash: It's fine. I probably won't get drunk. I've learned that this time.

Mash: Well? Well? Will you drink with me? This is a chance to let me see a side of you I don't usually get to see.


Fujimaru 1: Mash, are you still drunk?


Fujimaru 2: Someone bring water!

Dr. Roman: Um, guys. I'll say one thing that's important.

Dr. Roman: ...No drinking until you're of legal age!