The Demonic Capital Rashomon
Opening Act: Heian Sakura Front Line
Mash:
–Rayshift complete.
We've arrived in Japan, Master.
Dr. Roman:
And it seems you got there safely. Sorry if the ride was bumpy, Fujimaru.
Dr. Roman:
As if to be expected, I'm not getting a clear visual of you. This time it's even worse than normal.
Mash:
I'm guessing you can't pinpoint the cause?
Dr. Roman:
Yeah. There are times when you travel so far back that we don't have enough data on that era...but that's not the case here.
Dr. Roman:
This observation impediment doesn't follow any pattern we've seen before. It's like someone is jamming our signal.
Dr. Roman:
However, the fact remains that I'm picking up very unusual responses from that era. It's bound to turn into a Singularity if we leave it alone.
Dr. Roman:
That's why I sent you two to check it out.
For starters, what are your surroundings like?
Mash:
Right. Well, it's safe here. I mean, we've never been to a place this idyllic. Especially, um...
Mash:
The cherry blossoms are lovely.
Just beautiful.
Dr. Roman:
Cherry blossoms, huh? That's nice. I've seen them before, too. Although I didn't get to have a viewing party...
Mash:
...On top of that, there's a kind of sweet aroma...all around... Mm...
Fujimaru 1:
Yeah, I'd say it smells delicious.
Fujimaru 2:
Wait, could this scent be...
Dr. Roman:
Hmmm... An aroma you say... I wonder what it could be. We definitely need more information.
Dr. Roman:
My estimate is that you're in the Heian era right now. That said, the Heian era lasted for nearly 400 years.
Dr. Roman:
Stand by while I try to pinpoint your exact coordinates. Please keep an eye on your surroundings.
Mash:
Understood. Still...
I can't get over how beautiful it is here.
Fujimaru 1:
I can't get over how beautiful you are, Mash.
Mash:
R-Right... As you can see, my primary colors are purple and black... So I am no match for the beautiful pink of cherry blossoms.
Fujimaru 2:
I wish we had some dumplings from the moon festivals.
Mash:
Hehe. Shhh, Senpai.
Caesar will appear if you bring that up again.
Mash:
But... Ummm. Actually, this has been bothering me since we got here...
Mash:
There's a big pile of petals over there, but it's human-shaped.
Mash:
It's as if someone fell asleep while viewing the cherry blossoms and was left behind for a full day...
Sakata Kintoki:
Ah—chooo! Ahhh, what, morning already!? Daaammit!
Mash:
K-Kintoki!?
Dr. Roman:
Okay, if I just do this and voila... Huh?
Hey, I'm picking up a Servant in your proximity.
Dr. Roman:
Going by the powerful magical energy reading... No doubt about it, it's a musclehead Servant with a suffocating presence!
Mash:
Yes, Doctor. Mr. Golden, Sakata Kintoki himself is right in front of us.
Dr. Roman:
Oh, Kintoki is there.
That would explain this strength level I'm seeing.
Dr. Roman:
Wait, what's he doing there!?
Did you two bring him along!?
Sakata Kintoki:
Oooh, my head hurts... I went overboard brawling with those bears...
Fujimaru 1:
Golden morning, mister.
Sakata Kintoki:
Oh! That's a nice greeting, Boss!
To be golden in the morning is very golden!
Fujimaru 2:
God morning, Kintoki.
Sakata Kintoki:
O-Oh, that's a strange mangling of the language.
“God morning” sounds a little ominous.
Sakata Kintoki:
At any rate, it's good to start off with a greeting.
It shows you have good manners.
Sakata Kintoki:
A fulfilling day begins with a nice greeting, a nice breakfast, and nice wood-chopping.
Sakata Kintoki:
My boss... Oh, I don't mean you.
My former boss, or I guess more like my foster parent...
Sakata Kintoki:
Boss Raikou, you know?
She lived around here.
Sakata Kintoki:
She was usually lax, but very serious about table manners. Even bad sitting posture would earn a demonic glare.
Mash:
Um, Kintoki. My apologies for interrupting, but would you tell us what you're doing here?
Sakata Kintoki:
Oh, sorry. I slipped into reminiscing about the olden days. But the reason I'm here—
Sakata Kintoki:
Whoa, wait. Don't get too close.
Mash:
Huh?
Sakata Kintoki:
(I'm the one just waking up here... And even though I'm the man they called the Beast of Ashigara...)
Sakata Kintoki:
(Dangerous... she's the true dangerous beast!
I mean, look at her outfit!)
Mash:
Senpai, he won't look me in the eye.
Does he hate me now?
Fujimaru 1:
I don't think that's it.
Fujimaru 2:
Dangerous... beast!
Sakata Kintoki:
No, it's not your fault, young lady.
In fact, I would compliment you, if you were a man.
Mash:
H-Huh? Thank you... I think?
Sakata Kintoki:
Oh, you even bow to me?!
Then I gotta man up... Here we go...
Mash:
K-Kintoki!? Oh no, Senpai, Kintoki is punching himself hard in the cheek!
Sakata Kintoki:
All right, that woke me up!
So, shall we get going, Boss!?
Sakata Kintoki:
I wouldn't call it a world crisis, but there's trouble in my neck of the woods.
Sakata Kintoki:
Deep in the mountains, somebody called.
I don't know who it is, but I'm goin' there.
Sakata Kintoki:
All the signs point to good things, so I'll push on ahead. My axe will carve a way through the mountains. Make way for this thunderclap!
Fujimaru 1:
Kintoki sure is in high spirits!
Mash:
Yes, I've never seen him so full of energy.
Mash:
That said... Where are we going?
Fujimaru 2:
Um... Where are we going?
Sakata Kintoki:
Huh? Where are we going? Why, that's obvious.
It's—
???:
Gyaaaaooooo—!
Dr. Roman:
Aaaah! A hostile response already!
Is it–a wild beast?
Sakata Kintoki:
Your ambush is well-timed—! But I don't think I've seen you around these parts before!
Mash:
It seems to see us as food.
It's charging!
Sakata Kintoki:
This is also a perfect way to start the day.
A nice warm-up! Let's go wild, Master!
--BATTLE--
Dr. Roman:
Good work.
I've finally got your coordinates now.
Dr. Roman:
North latitude 35 degrees, east longitude 135 degrees 45 minutes approximately. The cultural and political center of Japan in this era.
Dr. Roman:
In other words, if you go down that mountain—
Sakata Kintoki:
There's only one place with a sky and cherry blossoms like this. We stand before Kyoto.
Dr. Roman:
It's Kyo– He stole my line! I shouldn't have started off with the latitude and longitude!
Mash:
It's okay, Doctor.
Mash:
Someday we may have to take a geography test with the fate of the world hanging in the balance.
Mash:
When that happens, this information should come in handy. Thank you very much.
Dr. Roman:
Mash, you can be rather brutal sometimes...
Okay, one more piece of new info.
Dr. Roman:
You were just talking about an aroma, right?
I got curious, so I analyzed it...
Dr. Roman:
There's ethanol mixed in with the air.
Fruits and crops fermented using yeast.
Dr. Roman:
In other words, alcohol. What you're smelling is wine.
Sakata Kintoki:
The smell of wine, huh?
Dr. Roman:
Kintoki? You seem like a guy who can hold his drink.
Bad memories or something?
Sakata Kintoki:
I've never heard of anything good happening when alcohol was involved.
Dr. Roman:
That's true. It's usually stories of someone getting drunk and embarrassing themselves!
Sakata Kintoki:
...That's right.
Jeez, I've got a golden bad feeling about this.
Mash:
...
Dr. Roman:
Enough about drinking.
I've located the point of the abnormality too.
Dr. Roman:
Ignore what we can't understand for now, and head there as planned to investigate it.
Dr. Roman:
That's why you're here, right, Kintoki?
But when did you use the Rayshift?
Sakata Kintoki:
Huh? Boss was the one who called me, right?
Sakata Kintoki:
I just found myself here all of a sudden! I was bored, so I trained with a bear, slept, and then it was morning.
Dr. Roman:
...Hmm? So you were forcibly summoned there.
Sakata Kintoki:
Yeah. Looks like there's more to it, but the details don't matter. Boss, you need more people, right?
Sakata Kintoki:
Then leave it to me! As you can see, I've got more strength than I know what to do with!
Dr. Roman:
Thanks, that's a big help.
Take care and proceed.
Sakata Kintoki:
This is a bad mist.
Smoke on the whatsits, you know?
Dr. Roman:
There's a bit of a ways till you get to the source.
What's the situation where you're at?
Mash:
It looks like we're in a residential district near Kyoto... But something seems strange...
Kyoto Resident:
Hahahaha! Ahahahaha!
Food! Drink! Bring more!
Kyoto Resident:
You rotten fiend! I never liked the way you married your childhood friend! Now let's celebrate!
Kyoto Resident:
I like you. I love you! Take me! Take me now!
Take me to paradise! Huh? You're married? Then die!
Fujimaru 1:
It's chaos.
Fujimaru 2:
Some kind of weird festival?
Mash:
To be honest, I don't understand what's going on. Everyone seems to be doing something different.
Mash:
Everybody's getting excited about their own thing...
What is going on here?
Sakata Kintoki:
A lot of them are saying some rough stuff, but they're still sane. It's fine until the blades come out, but...
Sakata Kintoki:
...Did you notice?
It's getting thicker.
Mash:
There's no telling what will happen.
Senpai, we need to be more careful than ever.
Mash:
The cherry blossoms are as pretty as ever but–
Mash:
...
...
Mash:
Huh!? Senpai, watch out!
(Squeeze)
Dr. Roman:
What's wrong? What happened!?
An enemy attack?
Fujimaru 1:
Mash just jumped...on me...
Fujimaru 2:
This sensation... She's a beast!
Mash:
Whew. That was close.
A cherry blossom petal fell on Senpai's head.
Dr. Roman:
...Huh?
Mash:
Senpai has an important duty to perform.
I can't let anything threaten that.
Mash:
I, Mash Kyrielight, want to help Senpai.
More, more, more. More.
Mash:
So–Huh!? Look at that foul-smelling mystery trap!
It may be an enemy Noble Phantasm! Get back! (Squeeze-squeeze)
Sakata Kintoki:
No, that's just a fertilizer pit.
if you fall in, you're gonna regret it.
Mash:
...Oh? Senpai, your face is a little red.
Do you have a fever? ...No, perhaps a cold?
Mash:
Are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere?
Do you want headpats?
Mash:
Come to think of it, you were sleeping with your stomach exposed this morning.
Mash:
But don't worry. It's okay now that I'm here.
I'll sleep next to you tonight.
Mash:
With my Noble Phantasm I can keep you safe from cold viruses, as well as nasty cedar pollen!
Mash:
I can shut out all nasty insects and external enemies completely!
Fujimaru 1:
Mash is acting weird!?
Fujimaru 2:
Medic... Medic!
Dr. Roman:
Hmm? Wait a second. Is this...
I see. I knew it.
Dr. Roman:
By the way, how about you, Kintoki?
Anything seem off with you?
Sakata Kintoki:
No need to worry.
I'm always golden.
Sakata Kintoki:
Actually, I feel stronger!
I feel like I'm overflowing with energy!
Mash:
Did you hear that, Senpai? Mr. Golden is filled with too much energy, he says. Scary, huh?
Mash:
But don't worry. Even if he approaches you with a sexual proposition,
Mash:
my shield will deploy to secure you with incredible speed.
Sakata Kintoki:
No, I'm not that kind of guy...
Sakata Kintoki:
Hey, Boss?
Is she always like this?
Fujimaru 1:
Actually, she kind of is.
Fujimaru 2:
No, this time it's worse than usual.
Dr. Roman:
Um, well... This is extremely hard to say, but...
Dr. Roman:
I'm seeing a slight change on her vitals.
She's drunk.
Sakata Kintoki:
Drunk? Just on this aroma?
Dr. Roman:
Yeah. It doesn't seem to be affecting you, though.
Dr. Roman:
It's because of the alcohol that's permeating the air. That's what's gotten into the people around you, too.
Dr. Roman:
Whoever breathes it in gets drunk.
That's why they're all acting like that.
Dr. Roman:
How about you, Fujimaru?
Anything seem strange?
Fujimaru 1:
Not really. I'm sober.
Fujimaru 2:
I've never been drunk, so I don't know.
Dr. Roman:
Hmm. Maybe the protective power that Mash should have is being transferred to her Master?
Dr. Roman:
Still, that's the right thing for the moment. No matter how drunk she is, Mash will follow Fujimaru's orders.
Dr. Roman:
If Fujimaru went nuts, we'd have a golden disaster on our hands.
Mash:
Senpai! Senpai! Stop spending so much time talking with the Doctor, and let's go. We have a ways to walk.
Sakata Kintoki:
Guess we'll have to keep going.
Though my bad feeling keeps getting worse... Huh?
Kyoto Resident:
Yahoo! A bunch o' fresh country bumpkins!
Kyoto Resident:
Leave all your valuables!
Mash:
I will not!
Senpai's going with me!
Mash:
Senpai, we'll eliminate this obstacle.
Let's do it together!
Dr. Roman:
What's strange about this is that she seems normal at first glance...
Dr. Roman:
Is there a reason they're getting drunk like this?
--BATTLE--
Mash:
...
Sakata Kintoki:
Tch... It stinks.
I mean, there are good drinks and bad drinks.
Sakata Kintoki:
And this is a really bad one.
It ain't something a person should be drinking.
Dr. Roman:
...Harder to reach you...
All I can manage is audio... Be careful...
Mash:
It's strange. We should be getting closer to central Kyoto, but–
Mash:
It feels so empty. I don't see a single person.
Dr. Roman:
What? Kyoto was the center of Japan in that era.
There can't just be no one there–
Mash:
But it's true. I'll add that there are several corpses lying on the side of the road.
Mash:
It seems clear that something's going up ahead.
...Mr. Golden, you know Kyoto well, right?
Sakata Kintoki:
Yeah, I guess. But this is different.
This ain't the Kyoto I know.
Sakata Kintoki:
Kyoto's a golden city.
The atmosphere, the people, even the laughter shines.
Sakata Kintoki:
That's normal and natural in Kyoto. That's why in the future that amazing, cool golden temple is gonna be built.
Dr. Roman:
(He's probably talking about the Kinkaku... Rokuon-ji...)
Sakata Kintoki:
I don't like it.
This dead, alcohol-stinking air ain't Kyoto.
Sakata Kintoki:
Drinks are for warming up the heart.
It ain't something to melt the marrow of your bones.
Sakata Kintoki:
...Tch. I don't want to remember it,
but this alcohol is—
Mash:
Doctor, I see a big gate.
Is it past this?
Dr. Roman:
...Yes...but...be careful...
Dr. Roman:
Uh! What is this? A dragonkin!?
Everyone, be extremely careful—
Mash:
Ah! I see something near the gate, Master!
Sakata Kintoki:
...And to think I thought this was just a lot of fun. Pathetic. I feel pathetic.
Sakata Kintoki:
Poison, miasma, hedonism, and decadence, all mixed up. That means only one thing.
Sakata Kintoki:
That ain't a bunch of little things mixed together.
It's the real aura of an oni.
Ibaraki-Douji:
Haha!
Bwahahahaha!
Sakata Kintoki:
And there you are, Ibaraki-Douji!
Ibaraki-Douji:
I wondered who it was. Haha!
Who does it turn out to be but Sakata Kintoki!
Ibaraki-Douji:
It's been so damn long! So long!
You alone? Where's Raikou? Where's Tsuna?
Sakata Kintoki:
You've got eyes, don't you?
But you... You ain't alone, are ya?
Sakata Kintoki:
Tell me. What is that?
What is that thing floating behind you?
Shuten-Douji:
...
Ibaraki-Douji:
Hah! This is my master, and my sacrifice!
Ibaraki-Douji:
Our fallen leader of the oni clan, Shuten-Douji!
Ibaraki-Douji:
Bwaha! Hahaha! Hahahahaha!
Sakata Kintoki:
—!
Ibaraki-Douji:
Hah! Ticked off, huh?
Even behind that strange blindfold I can tell!
Ibaraki-Douji:
Your eyes are shining with a burning light.
That must've ticked you off, huh?
Ibaraki-Douji:
—Humph. But I am even more displeased than you. Would the likes of you really care about Shuten?
Ibaraki-Douji:
After you tricked her and slew her? Why would you care about Shuten when I am about to eat her?
Sakata Kintoki:
You idiot! I ain't worried! I don't care what you do!
Sakata Kintoki:
If you're gonna fight each other, do it somewhere else! And anyway—
Sakata Kintoki:
You have any idea how dangerous that wench is?
After you eat her she'll devour you from the inside out!
Ibaraki-Douji:
–Humph. That's right.
The old me wouldn't have been able to defeat her.
Ibaraki-Douji:
But you know what?
—Race forward, Sougenbi!
Sakata Kintoki:
Gwaah!?
Dr. Roman:
...What ...happened...?
Mash:
Some huge flaming thing just flew out and blew Kintoki away!
Mash:
And... now it's coming back!
That's... That's...
Sakata Kintoki:
Tch. Is that...your arm?
Ibaraki-Douji:
Indeed. Indeed! Indeed! Indeed! This is my arm of destruction! I call it the Great Grudge of Rashomon!
Sakata Kintoki:
She's got a damn rocket punch!
I thought Tsuna hacked that thing off!
Mash:
No way... That's a Noble Phantasm. She's using her own severed arm as a Noble Phantasm–
Ibaraki-Douji:
Bwahahaha! Little girl! Little girl! Little girl!
Have you ever seen anything like me?
Ibaraki-Douji:
Then carve this into your mind, so you'll have something to remember as the maggots eat your guts!
Ibaraki-Douji:
Raging like a beast! Terrifying like a god!
Frivolous like an insect!
Ibaraki-Douji:
We know not the weakness of mankind, nor the pride of a warrior! We use our own rotted arms as weapons!
Ibaraki-Douji:
That is what an oni is. We are man-eating monsters, who inspire fear by our very presence!
Mash:
Ugh!
Ibaraki-Douji:
...They're speaking to me.
Yes, someone, somewhere, is saying it.
Ibaraki-Douji:
–Devour. Devour. Devour. Devour. Devour. Devour. Devour. Devour. Devour. Devour–
Ibaraki-Douji:
Devour mankind. Devour you!
Ibaraki-Douji:
You are human. Flesh for me to eat.
You are Sakata Kintoki, my mortal enemy.
Ibaraki-Douji:
And I am Ibaraki-Douji.
The ruler of all the oni on Mt. Ooe!
Ibaraki-Douji:
And thus... You shall not leave this place alive!
Sakata Kintoki:
...Stupid. Ibaraki's even stupider than last time.
Mash:
You know her, Kintoki?
Sakata Kintoki:
Yeah. She's just an animal that doesn't like people.
We don't get along.
Sakata Kintoki:
But she wasn't that bad.
She used to follow the laws of the food chain...
Mash:
But now she's not... She's an oni killing people for no reason, not just to survive?
Sakata Kintoki:
Yup. That's what she's become.
And that puts her in my jurisdiction.
Ibaraki-Douji:
I see you've got some yummy kids with you!
They can fill my belly too!
Sakata Kintoki:
Sure, bring it, little oni!
I'll smash that big arm of yours into tiny pieces!
Ibaraki-Douji:
That's my line, you wannabe westerner!
I'll eat your bones along with Shuten!
Shuten-Douji:
...
Sakata Kintoki:
(That oni girl screwed up big... Isn't Mt. Ooe yours, fool?)
Ibaraki-Douji:
Aah, aah– A lovely wind is blowing.
It smells of guts and blood and alcohol.
Ibaraki-Douji:
It is the smell of the demonic city that I desire!
Ibaraki-Douji:
I'm so happy, Kintoki.
Soon–the smell of your guts will be mixed in with it too!
Ibaraki-Douji:
Bwaha! Bwahahahaha!
Mash:
Her murderous intent is incredible...
She's coming, Master! Get ready to fight!
Sakata Kintoki:
Right. One warning, Boss.
that ain't the Ibaraki I know.
Fujimaru 1:
Is she that strong?
Sakata Kintoki:
She might be strong enough that you could throw all your Servants at her and have a 50/50 chance.
Fujimaru 2:
I knew it! Her lines are really...something!
Sakata Kintoki:
Nah, she was always like that.
That hasn't changed a bit.
Sakata Kintoki:
But she's a lot stronger!
A helluva lot stronger than the Ibaraki I knew!
Sakata Kintoki:
Anyway, this is good stuff!
Sakata Kintoki:
The little oni who hid in Shuten's shadow has grown up to reach the level of a god!
Sakata Kintoki:
A worthy opponent! Let's go, Boss!
Time for some golden oni hunting!
Chase Battle: Back From Zero
Sakata Kintoki:
Tch! She's fierce!
Ibaraki-Douji:
Bwahaha! Bwahaha! This is exciting!
It's so exciting, huh, Kintoki?
Ibaraki-Douji:
If you grab a man he snaps in two.
Pat him and you'll split him open!
Ibaraki-Douji:
But battling you is like wrestling a mountain!
And this won't stop till one of us is dead!
Ibaraki-Douji:
It would be boring to let this end so soon.
Time to take a break!
Sakata Kintoki:
I won't let you go, idiot!
Blow 'em away, Golden–
Ibaraki-Douji:
Bwaha! Don't be in such a hurry!
Don't be in such a hurry! Our banquet continues!
Ibaraki-Douji:
Bwahahaha!
Mash:
She ran beyond the gate so quickly... She's so fast.
Mash:
...I'm sorry, Mr. Golden. We're badly damaged as well. We've used too much energy.
Mash:
It feels very dangerous to pass through the gate like this...
Sakata Kintoki:
Yeah, you're right.
Sorry, this wasn't just my fight, was it?
Sakata Kintoki:
Fine. We'll come back tomorrow.
Let's eat something while we can.
Sakata Kintoki:
Even with Kyoto in this state, there's gotta be a place to eat. I recommend some golden mash and golden pastries.
Sakata Kintoki:
Get some energy stored up. Oni are greedier than any other creature, and there's no telling what they'll do.
Sakata Kintoki:
This might end up being a much longer fight than you're expecting.
Chase Battle: Drunkenness and Relaxation
Ibaraki-Douji:
Bwahahaha!
This is such fun! Such fun!
Sakata Kintoki:
It ain't fun for you!
Your eyes aren't laughing at all!
Ibaraki-Douji:
–Humph. Don't insult me.
I'm just not used to laughing.
Ibaraki-Douji:
To laugh from the bottom of one's heart, huh...
I can't do it like Shuten.
Mash:
She got away again...
Mash:
But I could tell we were hitting her.
We're wearing her down, I think.
Mash:
Let's just stay calm and be careful.
Fujimaru 1:
It's such a help that you're always calm.
Mash:
I-Is it? I'm glad...
Fujimaru 2:
We're getting tired, though...
Mash:
Yes. We need to recover our strength as well.
Mash:
Let's retreat a little and make camp.
That should let us talk to the Doctor as well.
Dr. Roman:
Hmm... Got it. Thanks for the report.
Just keep it up and don't let your guard down.
Dr. Roman:
Sorry. There's just so much static near the gate that I can't analyze anything or communicate with you.
Dr. Roman:
By the way... Fujimaru.
Dr. Roman:
How's Mash looking?
Is she, um, drunk? (Psst psst)
Fujimaru 1:
She's normal during battle.
Dr. Roman:
Is she? But...
Fujimaru 2:
(Point to your side without saying a word)
Mash:
Dinner's ready, Senpai! We're having what Mr. Golden requested, golden rice balls.
Mash:
Since we're on the battlefield, it's curry-flavored! Everyone loves curry! But unfortunately your fingers get a little sticky.
Mash:
There's only one way to deal with this.
Open wide, Senpai!
Dr. Roman:
Y-Yeah... The same, huh?
Dr. Roman:
If she's normal during combat, and near that gate,
Dr. Roman:
maybe she's just barely keeping it under control when she's near danger, perhaps?
Fujimaru 1:
She seems stronger during combat, actually.
Dr. Roman:
Is it the same as the way Kintoki said he's overflowing with power?
Mash:
Senpai...you're not going to eat it?
You're not going to open wide?
Fujimaru 1:
S-Sure!
Fujimaru 2:
Sorry, I was frozen in joy!
Mash:
I'm glad. Here, open up!
Mash:
Is it good? I've got more!
Dr. Roman:
W-Well, I'm just glad it's not interfering with the battle.
Dr. Roman:
I don't know what's going on, but clearly, there's some kind of alcohol in the air there.
Dr. Roman:
Until we can deal with the root cause, it won't go away.
Dr. Roman:
You'll have to make the best of what you've got.
Dr. Roman:
...Oh, right. I did come up with a plan.
Something I wanted you to try when you had the time...
Chase Battle: Alcoholic Fog in the Demonic Capital
Mash:
They got away again.
Mash:
...No. Considering our injuries and fatigue–
I guess we dealt a fair amount of damage.
Mash:
...
Fujimaru 1:
What are you looking at, Mash?
Fujimaru 2:
If you're tired, you should rest.
Mash:
I was just thinking about what the Doctor said yesterday.
Fujimaru 1:
(So you were listening to our conversation?)
Mash:
Our goal is to resolve whatever's causing the abnormalities that exist in this place.
Mash:
At the moment, it's clear that our biggest problem is the oni that lives by this gate–
Mash:
But maybe we don't necessarily have to defeat it.
Sakata Kintoki:
You want to turn a blind eye to it?
That doesn't seem like a golden idea...
Mash:
No, I'm not saying we should turn a blind eye to it.
Mash:
But say that Ibaraki-Douji's power comes from this “source” beyond the gate–
Mash:
In which case, it would make more sense to wipe that out first. That's what I meant.
Mash:
For instance, by climbing over the gate rather than under it. Or maybe we could find a way to go around it...
Sakata Kintoki:
Ahh, so that's what you meant.
Then your objective makes sense, but...
Sakata Kintoki:
We couldn't possibly climb over the gate.
Look at its top.
Mash:
...Yes. I did see that too.
Mash:
There's a sinister, thick, fog-like, cloudy-looking something that's hanging over the gate and wall.
Mash:
I don't know what it is, but I'm willing to bet it's something bad.
Mash:
There's no telling what it would do even to a Servant if they tried to touch it...
Fujimaru 1:
Looks like climbing over the gate is not possible...
Mash:
Yes, Master. Which is why I'd like to go scout a little and see if we can find a detour around it.
Fujimaru 2:
So how about finding a detour?
Mash:
Yes, Master. Let's check the area again for possible detours before we stop to rest for the night.
Mash:
Even if we can't climb over the gate or the enclosing fences, if there's some other path to the other side...
Mash:
Maybe our prospects will look better...
Sakata Kintoki:
...Doesn't seem like there's anything.
Mash:
Yes. Basically, it seems the heart of Kyoto is surrounded on all sides by that poisonous fog-looking substance.
Mash:
That said... Now that we're seeing the west end of the city for the first time, I've just realized...
Sakata Kintoki:
There's a freakin' humongous cliff here for some reason. I almost can't believe it, but there it is.
Sakata Kintoki:
This era... I mean, this Japan right now, must have shrunken or something. Or should I say the islands have been squashed?
Sakata Kintoki:
The topography is crazy. Unexpectedly the ocean is up against Kyoto's west side...
Mash:
...Right. It does look like there's something like an island beyond that fog, but since we don't have a boat...
Sakata Kintoki:
I don't dislike this golden sense of scale, though.
But it looks like there's no way to make that detour.
Mash:
You're probably right. It seems... that we do need to beat Ibaraki-Douji in order to proceed.
Fujimaru 1:
It may be a tough fight, but let's give it our best shot.
Mash:
Yes, Master. Of course, we will. As poor as my abilities are, I will absolutely give it my utmost effort.
Fujimaru 2:
We can't give up now.
Mash:
Yes, Master. Of course, we won't.
I have no intention of giving up.
Mash:
As poor as my abilities are, I will absolutely give it my utmost effort.
Mash:
...
Mash:
(Even so, Kyoto... this topography... It's just too different from the Japan we know...)
Mash:
(What on earth is happening in this Japan?)
Chase Battle: The Circumstances of the Oni
Mash:
Again!
Fujimaru 1:
We were really trying not to let her escape this time too, but...
Fujimaru 2:
We just can't seem to make her stop!
Mash:
Yes, Master.
She retreats with astonishing agility.
Sakata Kintoki:
Whenever I see her arm, I'm reminded against my will.
Sakata Kintoki:
When Tsuna's sword Higekiri chopped off her arm, she still escaped before he could deal the finishing blow.
Sakata Kintoki:
These aren't just flukes.
It must be some kind of ability.
Mash:
Maybe she has the “Disengage” skill.
That would be very bothersome.
Mash:
By the way, Mr. Golden, what you just said makes me wonder something. Did you know her while you were alive too?
Sakata Kintoki:
Only her battle habits. We fought quite a few times.
Fujimaru 1:
Did you know the captured oni... Shuten-Douji, too?
Sakata Kintoki:
...
Sakata Kintoki:
Aaah, well, yeah.
...She was the same as Ibaraki, I guess. Yeah.
Mash:
Were the two of them friends?
Or, were they more like boss and subordinate?
Sakata Kintoki:
Ibaraki was the boss of all the oni on Mt. Ooe. Shuten also apparently lived there, as a freeloader—
Sakata Kintoki:
But Ibaraki treated her as her superior, saying Shuten had something she lacked.
Sakata Kintoki:
In terms of ranking within the oni clan, they were equals. But that was based solely on Ibaraki's decree...which caused the kinds of problems you'd expect.
Sakata Kintoki:
But I do get where Ibaraki was coming from. That Shuten... She was, I guess you can say, a coward in a lot of ways.
Sakata Kintoki:
And she was wicked to the core. But she was honestly good to those she'd formed a kind of bond with.
Sakata Kintoki:
I thought she was a spirit of caprice and mischief in the form of an oni, but she's also chivalrous, dutiful, and humane.
Sakata Kintoki:
Yeah, she was a natural-born leader, that Shuten-Douji. Though she caused plenty of trouble for her subordinates.
Mash:
I see, I see.
Sakata Kintoki:
And just what the hell are you smiling about, huh?
Mash:
I beg your pardon. You just seemed oddly gentle while you were saying all that.
Mash:
But that boss oni is now being held prisoner by Ibaraki-Douji.
Mash:
She seemed to be completely out cold too.
I wonder what happened...
Sakata Kintoki:
...Who knows? Maybe Ibaraki finally ran out of patience with her.
Sakata Kintoki:
Oni will always be demonic.
And I'll hunt them down. That's all there is to it.
Sakata Kintoki:
I'm heading out. If you all want to rest, then go on and rest already.
Chase Battle: Shuten's Memories
Shuten-Douji:
...
Sakata Kintoki:
...
Shuten-Douji:
Fufu. Just what are you staring at, boy?
Well, not that it's any bother to me to be stared at.
Sakata Kintoki:
...I'm not staring. You're standing where I'm facing.
Shuten-Douji:
Fufu. What a mean human you are...
Shuten-Douji:
Now, shall we begin? I've lost count of how many times we've clashed at this point.
Shuten-Douji:
My signature weapon is lacking its best bits...
Would you forgive me?
Shuten-Douji:
If it were to clash head-on with that battle-axe of yours, it'd be such exquisite fun, such exquisite pleasure...
Shuten-Douji:
I'm not fond of pointless battle, you see.
I'll take you down with sensuality, not by brute force.
Shuten-Douji:
But, well, we're only in this situation because it doesn't seem to work on you, right?
Shuten-Douji:
Oh dear, oh dear. If I can't de-bone you with desire for me without lopping off your head, I'll lose self-confidence.
Shuten-Douji:
But I suppose it's hopeless.
After all... you like fighting way more, isn't that right?
Sakata Kintoki:
—It is.
That's what I want. That's all I need.
Sakata Kintoki:
Oni are evil. That's what you are to me, Shuten.
Shuten-Douji:
So you say. But I thought I saw you take pity on another oni before me and let her slip away?
Shuten-Douji:
Really, I'm quite furious now.
De-boning you won't be enough to satisfy me.
Shuten-Douji:
That's it! I'll rip out your bones and then use my metal rod to torment you. And with that, we'll erase all the history we've shared till now.
Fujimaru 1:
...That dream just now...
Sakata Kintoki:
—Tch.
Did I wake you? Sorry.
Sakata Kintoki:
I let my guard down too. I dozed off and you saw a pathetic comedy from long ago.
Sakata Kintoki:
But yeah... I've crossed paths with Shuten a number of times.
Sakata Kintoki:
When we've fought for real, we always end in a draw. When we've sparred for fun or for a bet, we always end in a draw.
Sakata Kintoki:
I guess we'd both got it in our heads that we'd found an opponent we were dead even with...
Sakata Kintoki:
Boss Raikou called me out on it, asked what I thought I was doing, striking up a rivalry with an oni.
Sakata Kintoki:
Boss was the one who served Shuten drugged wine, which put all the oni to sleep.
Sakata Kintoki:
You know how the rest of the story goes. I snuck up behind Shuten as she slept and decapitated her.
Sakata Kintoki:
And yet, that wretch...
Even as she was dying, she gave me a little grin.
Sakata Kintoki:
“Guess I'll go a bit ahead of you, 'kay?” she murmured. Like she was enjoying her life to the very last.
Sakata Kintoki:
...Jeez. She really was quite a woman, actually.
Even now, that never felt like a victory to me.
Sakata Kintoki:
And, so... That's why I can't stomach the idea that she is being controlled by Ibaraki now.
Sakata Kintoki:
I'll take on Ibaraki since she's an oni, but as a victim of Shuten's annoying antics, I can't ignore this.
Sakata Kintoki:
At the end, I'm just venting my own anger!
You don't need to worry about it, Master.
Sakata Kintoki:
This fight is finally drawing to a close.
It's time I gave her a proper thrashing!
Chase Battle: Ibaraki's Obstinacy
Ibaraki-Douji:
Urgh... Arrgh!
Sakata Kintoki:
It's a bitter pill to swallow, isn't it, Boss-Lady?
Time to pay the toll!
Ibaraki-Douji:
...Not...not yet.
Do you think I am so easily slain!?
Ibaraki-Douji:
You should know better than that, you fool!
Ibaraki-Douji:
No matter how many swords pierce us, no matter how many spears impale us...
Ibaraki-Douji:
We do not stop.
Not until we've had our fill.
Ibaraki-Douji:
We are the apex of this filthy existence... and, because we continually devour the souls of others, the embodiment of life!
Ibaraki-Douji:
That–is what an oni truly is!
Mash:
Ugh... This heat...!
Ibaraki-Douji:
My Inferno Fist has obliterated entire armies—
May it burn the flesh from your bones!
Ibaraki-Douji:
—Blaze, Sougenbi!
Sakata Kintoki:
Hot! Hot, hot, hot!
Are you trying to burn yourself up too, bastard?!
Mash:
Her Noble Phantasm's deployed!
Mash:
...Whew. We managed to defend ourselves through that attack, but... it looks like Ibaraki-Douji got away.
Mash:
I can't believe she could summon up so much latent power...
Sakata Kintoki:
Yeah, that was basically her last rally.
She won't be able to summon any more of those flames.
Sakata Kintoki:
She saves that Noble Phantasm for last, not to destroy her opponent, but to give her cover under which she can run away.
Sakata Kintoki:
That's why she can't win against Shuten.
She acts like a ruffian, but deep down, she's submissive.
Mash:
Ahh. Well, then... What about Shuten?
Sakata Kintoki:
She's the exact opposite of Ibaraki. She looks refined on the surface, but she's a true oni inside.
Sakata Kintoki:
But never mind that now.
We're finally close to finishing this, Boss.
Mash:
Agreed. We've all been pushing through our accumulating fatigue...
Fujimaru 1:
Yeah. Stay on your guard. Let's go.
Mash:
Right. After all these battles, I know all too well how terrifying oni can be.
Fujimaru 2:
...Let's win this thing.
Mash:
Yes, Master. Of course we will.
Mash:
Let's take this time to prepare ourselves fully and go into battle in our best possible condition.
Mash:
Everything we've done will be for tomorrow's decisive battle–
Showdown: Defeating the Oni
Sakata Kintoki:
Now get blown away! Eat this–
Sakata Kintoki:
Golden Spark!
Ibaraki-Douji:
Urghh, aaaaaauuughhhh!
Mash:
We... We did it!
Mash:
She had so much stamina I wondered if it was inexhaustible, but...at last! That was a fatal hit!
Ibaraki-Douji:
Why? Why were you able to follow me this far?!
Ibaraki-Douji:
I stand above all the oni! Humans should not be able to slay me, even if you are Heroic Spirits!
Sakata Kintoki:
Don't be ridiculous, Ibaraki.
You're not above anything.
Sakata Kintoki:
You're just a child pretending to be.
You lacked the guts you needed to the very end.
Ibaraki-Douji:
How dare you! How could any part of me be deemed lacking!?
Sakata Kintoki:
You really need someone to spell it out for you? I guess you do. Okay, Boss, would you kindly enlighten her?
Fujimaru 1:
Basically, you never ate Shuten, did you?
Ibaraki-Douji:
Hargh—!?
Y-You miserable human!
Ibaraki-Douji:
How could you utter such a cruel suggestion!?
Eat Shuten? I only said that in a hypothetical sense!
Ibaraki-Douji:
And you took it literally... Do I really seem like someone who could eat Shuten!?
Ibaraki-Douji:
I respect Shuten and haven't hurt so much as a hair upon her head, you fools! In the first place, I'd be too afraid to! She'd slaughter me!
Sakata Kintoki:
See? Told you this was how Ibaraki was, right?
Fujimaru 1:
Yeah, she's not so...
Fujimaru 2:
What a chicken...
Ibaraki-Douji:
Y-You little wretch, I don't know what you called me, but I can sense that it was some kind of dreadful insult. Wasn't it, human!?
Ibaraki-Douji:
What part of me do you dare to call weak!?
Speak your name, knave!
Fujimaru 1:
It's Fujimaru.
Ibaraki-Douji:
All right, I've memorized it. I've memorized your name, human! I shall curse it to the end of time! Writhe in mortal terror!
Mash:
...Saying all that was perhaps a bit counter-productive... All the terror I felt for you before has been reversed. Right, Senpai?
Ibaraki-Douji:
Even the black-clad one is...
Why? Why do you not fear me!?
Sakata Kintoki:
Jeez, you're actually pretty funny.
Especially because your speech is so melodramatic!
Ibaraki-Douji:
I-I can hardly help that!
It is the custom of oni to speak in this way!
Ibaraki-Douji:
Oni must be proud at all times, even in the way we speak! That's what my mother taught me!
Sakata Kintoki:
Right, that's great.
Just go on preserving those proud oni customs then.
Sakata Kintoki:
That's an oni's strong point and pride, isn't it?
All right, what was this whole farce about?
Sakata Kintoki:
You capture an oni despite being an oni yourself, then serve humans alcohol hoping we'll self-destruct?
Sakata Kintoki:
That's not like you at all. It's because you drink more than you can handle. So go wash your face and come back again.
Ibaraki-Douji:
Ulp, gulp!
Ibaraki-Douji:
All right, then. I acknowledge it was my loss this time! And I'll acknowledge you humans' so-called guts!
Ibaraki-Douji:
But my horns remain unbroken! So next time you insult me, I will make you regret it deeply!
Conclusion: Awakening From a Drunken Dream
Mash:
—Ibaraki-Douji has retreated.
We've won, Master!
Dr. Roman:
Yeah, I can confirm it here!
It was the first time we tried it, so I'm glad it worked!
Dr. Roman:
But the comms are still messed up.
Dr. Roman:
I'm seeing a tiny Servant response in front of you...
Dr. Roman:
I'm pretty sure it's just static, but...
Mash:
No. That's not static, Doctor.
Shuten-Douji:
...
Shuten-Douji:
...Mmm. Fwah?
Mash:
Sh-She woke up, Senpai!
But she's an oni just like Ibaraki-Douji—
Sakata Kintoki:
Yup. Time for round two, huh?
Shuten-Douji:
Mnnyaah... Mmm? Mmmm?
...Ooohh!
Shuten-Douji:
Is that you, boy?
It's been forever. How've you been?
Sakata Kintoki:
! EAT THIS!
Mash:
K-Kintoki!? You're just attacking without warning!?
--BATTLE--
Sakata Kintoki:
...
Mash:
Sh-She stopped his axe at the last second.
She didn't even try to dodge–
Shuten-Douji:
Oh my. Such passion!
Shuten-Douji:
Jumping me as I get up... fufu.
You must be about ready to explode, huh?
Shuten-Douji:
I don't mind.
You're as handsome as ever, and it would wake me up.
Sakata Kintoki:
Hey... What happened to you?
Shuten-Douji:
What do you mean? I'm me, aren't I?
Shuten-Douji:
My pale skin, my swelling breasts, my voluptuous behind... They're all like you remember, right?
Shuten-Douji:
—Want to take a closer look?
Sakata Kintoki:
I-I do not! Why don't you have any shame?
Fujimaru 1:
Golden... Were you two in a relationship?
Sakata Kintoki:
I'm always a victim!
And she's like this with everybody!
Sakata Kintoki:
More importantly!
Sakata Kintoki:
You're a greater oni than Ibaraki, so how'd you wind up looking just like an ordinary girl!
Mash:
...Yes. The power I sense from her is very weak.
Shuten-Douji:
Oh, you're right.
I was wondering where all my strength had gone.
Shuten-Douji:
Looks like most of my power got absorbed by Ibaraki. Oh dear. That shouldn't be possible, huh?
Mash:
Do you remember...what happened?
Shuten-Douji:
A little. So I know you tried really hard to save me, didn't you, boy?
Sakata Kintoki:
I did not! You were just a bonus!
Shuten-Douji:
Fufu. I was only half-awake, but I got to feel like a trapped princess.
Shuten-Douji:
It was a new experience... I liked it.
Shuten-Douji:
Oh, right. A rescued princess is supposed to thank you, isn't she? ...How about a kiss of gratitude? Come on...
Sakata Kintoki:
SPA—RK!
Mash:
He jumped back fast!
Shuten-Douji:
Aww, you're no fun.
You didn't have to run away.
Mash:
...Shuten-Douji, right?
I'd like an explanation as to what's going on here.
Shuten-Douji:
Fair enough. I guess I can't spend all my time playing with the boy. ...I'll take you there. Follow me.
Shuten-Douji:
Look, this is what you're searching for, isn't it?
Mash:
That's...
Dr. Roman:
The Holy Grail...or at least, something that looks very similar!
Dr. Roman:
I'm sure of it.
What you're looking at is the root cause of all this!
Dr. Roman:
It seems filled with some kind of fluid. That's...
Shuten-Douji:
I just woke up here with Ibaraki somehow, and this thing was right in front of us.
Shuten-Douji:
And it was filled with delicious wine.
Mash:
Um... You didn't.
Shuten-Douji:
Yup. I drank it.
Mash:
...Something so obviously suspicious?
Dr. Roman:
I don't want to ask, but why?
Sakata Kintoki:
That's just who she is.
I bet Ibaraki didn't want to, though.
Shuten-Douji:
Of course, Ibaraki was scared. She said it was a bad idea to eat things you find on the ground.
Shuten-Douji:
But when I asked her if it she was too good for my wine, she gave in and drank it down with tears in her eyes.
Mash:
Ibaraki...
You should've been nicer to her...
Shuten-Douji:
And then after I drank for a while, I got sleepy.
And then I woke up like this.
Shuten-Douji:
Ibaraki absorbed my power, and I became a trapped princess, and the boy came after my body and soul...
Sakata Kintoki:
I did not!
Mash:
I-I see. But in the end, you don't know what this is either?
Shuten-Douji:
No, I don't, but I do know this: this is wine and I drank it.
Shuten-Douji:
And you know how it ended up, right? So the answer is plain. This is–wine that grants wishes.
Mash:
!!!
Dr. Roman:
Wine poured into a Grail... Its role as an omnipotent wish granter activated... But is that really possible?
Shuten-Douji:
Come to think of it, I've been hearing someone's voice for a while.
Shuten-Douji:
I thought maybe I was just drunk... Is it an onmyouji?
He sounds like a wimp... Well, it doesn't matter.
Shuten-Douji:
Just so you're clear, this wine doesn't grant the wish itself.
Shuten-Douji:
It grants the wish in your heart, but–it twists it first.
Shuten-Douji:
Wine makes you drunk, and leads to bewilderment... Maybe that's why. That's what makes it fun, though.
Dr. Roman:
I see–which means that wine vaporized and spread through the air,
Dr. Roman:
and made all the normal people who couldn't fight it “drunk.”
Dr. Roman:
That's why everyone in the Kyoto area was acting so strangely.
Dr. Roman:
Some people can handle their drink better than others. I'm glad Fujimaru was okay...
Dr. Roman:
...By the way, Mash.
Dr. Roman:
What would you do if a paper plane flew towards Fujimaru right now?
Dr. Roman:
Say it was a paper plane thrown by the world champion paper plane thrower with a world record on the line.
Mash:
That's quite an undertaking... A new world record must involve a lot of suffering and drama, I assume.
Mash:
But I would immediately deploy my Noble Phantasm. Senpai's safety is my first priority.
Dr. Roman:
(...Mash is tipsy too.)
Dr. Roman:
Wait a second. Does that mean it's not just humans who get drunk here...but Servants too?
Shuten-Douji:
I think so. Ibaraki's wish was probably to go on a rampage with me...
Shuten-Douji:
But that got twisted into going on a rampage with my power.
Mash:
I'm not being affected, so it's okay...
But what about Mr. Golden?
Sakata Kintoki:
My wish...
Dr. Roman:
Come to think of it, you said you felt a lot stronger.
Was that it?
Shuten-Douji:
Oh—you wished for the same thing, huh?
Did you want to play with me that much?
Shuten-Douji:
To hit each other with our exposed parts, staring into each other's eyes, moaning like beasts–
Sakata Kintoki:
N-No! A-Are you stupid or something? Of course not!
Shuten-Douji:
Sorry... I can't take you up on that offer the way I am right now.
Shuten-Douji:
But you worked some of that out with Ibaraki, right?
I guess you ended up with the wrong girl.
Sakata Kintoki:
...
Shuten-Douji:
Now then, I remember the kind of wine I drank, so—
Let's smash it.
Mash:
That's right. This thing is the cause of it all anyway.
We can't end this unless we destroy it.
Sakata Kintoki:
...Hey.
Shuten-Douji:
What?
Sakata Kintoki:
You... What was your wish?
Shuten-Douji:
...Fufu. What do you think?
Sakata Kintoki:
Tch. Hell if I know.
Shuten-Douji:
You're worried about me, aren't you? You're so cute... Both your body and your soul.
Shuten-Douji:
I like to mess around—but I especially like men who only have one love.
Shuten-Douji:
It's a shame to get rid of this wine...
But I guess we don't have a choice.
Shuten-Douji:
This wine makes you drunk on your own wishes.
Shuten-Douji:
And when you're drunk, things always seem twisted. This time it was especially bad. It twists you, yourself.
Shuten-Douji:
This goes for Ibaraki too, but I've been far too twisted.
Shuten-Douji:
I've got no power, I can't eat people, I can't attack the boy... I'm just a little girl. This isn't me.
Shuten-Douji:
So I can't drink it down.
I can't just doze and enjoy the wine.
Shuten-Douji:
No matter how much I've longed to see what I see when I open my eyes—
Shuten-Douji:
This is just—a dream, brought on by too much drinking.
Shuten-Douji:
And now it's time to wake up.
Dr. Roman:
Oh– Yes! We did it!
The cause of the abnormality is gone!
Shuten-Douji:
Now that I'm awake...
It's time to go get drunk again.
Shuten-Douji:
Once I am, I won't let you get away, boy.
I swear–I'll pay you back for last time.
Shuten-Douji:
And then you can pour me drinks as part of my harem of hotties... Fufu...
Shuten-Douji:
See you around.
Sakata Kintoki:
She looked so satisfied as she disappeared...
What did she want, anyway?
Mash:
I'm not sure, but I think I can guess.
Mash:
I think maybe since you were worried about her so much...
Mash:
She brought you here so she could laugh and tell you not to worry?
Sakata Kintoki:
...Tch. What the heck?
That just makes me worry more.
Sakata Kintoki:
...Man, this ain't golden at all.
Sakata Kintoki:
...Anyway, looks like my role here's done.
I might see you guys again somewhere, though.
Sakata Kintoki:
Just be careful.
Mash:
...Yes. Not all the mysteries have been solved.
Mash:
She said that there was a cup filled with wine placed in front of her. Which means–
Mash:
Who put the cup there–
And who filled it with wine?
Sakata Kintoki:
...Who knows? If there was somebody behind it, this ain't over yet. Something else will happen.
Sakata Kintoki:
But this is all for now. The oni of Rashomon are gone.
So I'm leaving.
Dr. Roman:
There are no Servants left.
We can assume we're finished here.
Dr. Roman:
Good work, Mash.
Good work, Fujimaru.
Mash:
Yes. Let's head back to Chaldea, Senpai.
Mash:
...
(Staring)
Fujimaru 1:
What is it, Mash?
Mash:
...I'm sorry. I was a little curious what would happen if you were to get drunk...
Mash:
...Um, if you'd like, I'd be happy to have some alcohol with you after dinner.
Mash:
It's fine. I probably won't get drunk.
I've learned that this time.
Mash:
Well? Well? Will you drink with me? This is a chance to let me see a side of you I don't usually get to see.
Fujimaru 1:
Mash, are you still drunk?
Fujimaru 2:
Someone bring water!
Dr. Roman:
Um, guys. I'll say one thing that's important.
Dr. Roman:
...No drinking until you're of legal age!