GUDAGUDA Final Honnoji
Prologue: GUDAGUDA Math Class
???:
...I'm sure many of you have seen this quote before.
But I think you could say the opposite is true as well.
???:
“Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.”
???:
Tonight, I would like you all to join me for a little thought experiment.
???:
This is the story of what happened in a certain place where people's dreams came true.
???:
Everyone wishes for happiness, and grieves their misfortune. Perhaps that is why they inevitably pursue dreams that have no hope of coming true.
???:
Much like adding one plus one and trying to get infinity.
???:
I wonder, what will all of you see in this world?
What will you learn from it?
???:
Huh? You want to know who I am?
???:
...
???:
Our show is only just beginning and already you're trying to spoil the end!?
???:
...
???:
...Sorry. I'm not much of a comedian.
???:
Now then, I will see you all again at my next lecture, once this dream has concluded.
Nobbu:
Man, it's been a long time since we set up shop in this tearoom, hasn't it?
Nobbu:
I didn't much care for its gaudy gold interior design at first, but now I wouldn't feel right without it.
Nobbu:
It's kind of scary what you can get used to given time.
Hey, do we have any tangerines?
Okita Souji:
Those aren't in season anymore.
We had to put away the kotatsu a while ago, too.
Okita Souji:
And as long as we've been squatting in this little area next to the boiler room, I don't think we should be pushing our luck.
Fujimaru 1:
How long has it been since you started squatting here?
Fujimaru 2:
Eh, I think it'll work out.
Mash:
Well, Da Vinci did say she'd rather they stay put here than just wander all around Chaldea...
Mash:
...so she agreed to look the other way as long as they don't expand it any further...
Hijikata Toshizo:
Sounds like she's got her head on good and straight. Right, so I'm going to keep using this room as our base.
Okita Souji:
This really takes me back to when we crashed with the Yagi family. They were so good to us, even when we showed up uninvited.
Li Shuwen:
Oho. So this is the famous Japanese tearoom I've been hearing about?
Li Shuwen:
It's a little more ostentatious than I expected,
but you've made it work.
Mash:
I'm surprised to see you here, Li Shuwen.
Do you come here often?
Nobbu:
Shuwen and I are tea pals! We hang out together in the cafeteria now and then to drink tea and talk turkey...and by turkey, I mean tea.
Nobbu:
So now that we've got our own tearoom here,
I invited him to come check it out.
Li Shuwen:
I'll just help myself to a cup then.
Okita Souji:
I'm glad Okada isn't here right now. It's kind of tiring how he always tries to pick a fight with you.
Li Shuwen:
Ah, you mean that young man? I can't think of any reason why he would have an issue with me, but I can tell he has talent. I'll have to give him a sparring session one of these days.
Hijikata Toshizo:
I need more than tea to fill me up.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Do we have any chilled pickle barrels in the storeroom?
Okita Souji:
Don't be silly. Why would Chaldea be chilling pick–
Okita Souji:
Actually, now that I think about it, that wouldn't even be close to the weirdest thing they have here. Maybe we should try asking Cat?
Nobbu:
Well, why don't we go see what's in the storeroom?
Who knows what sort of rare artifacts might be inside?
Chacha:
Heh heh heh! You might just be too late, Auntie!
Chacha:
Little Okita and Chacha have already been scrounging–I mean, investigating it to see what we could find!
Chacha:
We didn't find any chilled pickle barrels, not that we were actually looking for them, but we did find this strange box!
Chacha:
And Chacha's intuition is telling Chacha that it contains something good!
Nobbu:
Now that's what I'm talking about! I knew I could count on my niece! As I always say, what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine!
Okita Souji:
(Sigh) Once a warlord, always a warlord.
Nobbu:
Hm? Say, where is Alter, anyway?
Chacha:
Chacha gave her some money to buy ice cream. Chacha always makes sure to reward helpful, good little girls.
Okita Souji:
Geez, as if you weren't already treating her like a child. Come on, Alter me, you're making us both look bad.
Fujimaru 1:
So this is the strange box?
Chacha:
If it even is a box. Now that Chacha thinks about it,
Little Okita might've said it seemed off to her.
Fujimaru 2:
Are you sure she'll be okay on her own?
Chacha:
Sure Chacha's sure! Besides, kids grow up so fast!
That's why you've gotta be hard on them.
Nobbu:
Well, there's only one way to find out what's inside.
Let's see, how do you open this thing?
Nobbu:
Grrr, I've had enough! Take this, box!
Mash:
Aah! Please don't fire your gun indoors, Nobunaga!
Nobbu:
Huh, it's still locked. Well that's weird.
That always works in the animes.
Okita Souji:
Let me try slicing through it at a perfect forty-five degree angle... Yah!
Okita Souji:
Looks like my katana can't cut it open, either.
Li Shuwen:
Allow me... Ha!
Li Shuwen:
Oho... It seems not even my fist can get through.
Mash:
...(Gasp) I'm sorry. I was so taken aback by your barbaric attempts that I froze for a moment!
Mash:
What were you all thinking!? Just because you want to open the box doesn't mean anything goes!
Mash:
Da Vinci may be very forgiving, but even she's going to be upset if you break this box you took without askin–
Fujimaru 1:
Uh... Is it just me, or is the box starting to glow?
Fujimaru 2:
I'm getting serious GUDAGUDA vibes here!
Chacha:
Chacha knows what this is. This is one of those things that blows up in your face, like in the animes!
Chacha:
Chacha knows what Chacha's talking about!
Chacha watches them all the time with Little Okita!
Nobbu:
Wahahahaha! So ends the happy-go-lucky Chaldea chapter of our lives!
Nobbu:
Wait, what am I saying!? Somebody chuck it outside!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Well? Were there any chilled pickles in it, or what?
Okita Souji:
Ugh, our Vice Commander is useless!
We don't have time for this crap!
Okita Souji:
Aaaaaaah!!!
Mash:
Senpai, quick! Take cover over here!
Nobbu:
Nobuwaaaaaa!?
Da Vinci:
Hm? I thought I heard a commotion around here...
Maybe I was just imagining things?
Da Vinci:
...Hmm. On a different note, this golden tearoom is really hanging on by a thread, isn't it?
Da Vinci:
I've never seen such a fine line between high art and lowbrow trash...
Fou:
Fou, fooou!
Da Vinci:
Oh, hi, Fou. I didn't know you were here too.
Da Vinci:
Hm? By the way, is that box by your feet what I think it is!?
Fou:
Fou fou fooou!
Nobbu:
Man, I'm glad this Wandering Sea place has its own boiler room!
Nobbu:
I didn't much care for its gaudy gold interior design at first, but now I wouldn't feel right without it.
Nobbu:
It's kind of scary what you can get used to given time.
Hey, do we have any tangerines?
Okita Souji:
Those aren't in season anymore.
We had to put away the kotatsu a while ago, too.
Okita Souji:
Also, are you even sure the room next door is a boiler room? Looks like some sorta shady storage thing to me.
Fujimaru 1:
You guys built another tearoom without asking?
Fujimaru 2:
Hope you guys don't get in trouble for this unauthorized tearoom...
Mash:
I did report this to Sion, but she said she was too busy to do anything about it for the time being.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Sounds like she's got her head on good and straight. Right, so I'm going to keep using this room as our base.
Okita Souji:
This really takes me back to when we crashed with the Yagi family. They were so good to us, even when we showed up uninvited.
Li Shuwen:
Oho. So this is the famous Japanese tearoom I've been hearing about?
Li Shuwen:
It's a little more ostentatious than I expected,
but you've made it work.
Mash:
I'm surprised to see you here, Li Shuwen.
Do you come here often?
Nobbu:
Shuwen and I are tea pals! We hang out together in the cafeteria now and then to drink tea and talk turkey...and by turkey, I mean tea.
Nobbu:
So now that we've got our own tearoom here,
I invited him to come check it out.
Li Shuwen:
I'll just help myself to a cup then.
Okita Souji:
I'm glad Okada isn't here right now. It's kind of tiring how he always tries to pick a fight with you.
Li Shuwen:
Ah, you mean that young man? I can't think of any reason why he would have an issue with me, but I can tell he has talent. I'll have to give him a sparring session one of these days.
Hijikata Toshizo:
By the way, do we have any chilled pickle barrels in the storeroom?
Hijikata Toshizo:
I need more than tea to fill me up.
Okita Souji:
Oh come on, do you really think the Atlas Institute would be chilling pickles? Not even Takuan, the Buddhist priest who invented pickled daikon would expect that.
Nobbu:
You know, now that you mention it, maybe we should check out that storeroom. Who knows what sort of rare artifacts they keep around here?
Chacha:
Heh heh heh! You might just be too late, Auntie!
Chacha:
Little Okita and Chacha have already been scrounging–I mean, investigating it to see what we could find!
Chacha:
Of course there weren't any pickles, chilled or otherwise, but we did find a strange box!
Chacha:
And Chacha's intuition is telling Chacha that it contains something good!
Nobbu:
Now that's what I'm talking about! I knew I could count on my niece! As I always say, what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine!
Okita Souji:
(Sigh) Once a warlord, always a warlord.
Nobbu:
Hm? Say, where is Alter, anyway?
Chacha:
Chacha gave her some money to buy ice cream. Chacha always makes sure to reward helpful, good little girls.
Okita Souji:
Geez, as if you weren't already treating her like a child. Come on, Alter me, you're making us both look bad.
Fujimaru 1:
So this is the strange box?
Chacha:
If it even is a box. Now that Chacha thinks about it,
Little Okita might've said it seemed off to her.
Fujimaru 2:
Are you sure she'll be okay on her own?
Chacha:
Sure Chacha's sure! Besides, kids grow up so fast!
That's why you've gotta be hard on them.
Nobbu:
Well, there's only one way to find out what's inside.
Let's see, how do you open this thing?
Nobbu:
Grrr, I've had enough! Take this, box!
Mash:
Aah! Please don't fire your gun indoors, Nobunaga!
Nobbu:
Huh, it's still locked. Well that's weird.
That always works in the animes.
Okita Souji:
Let me try slicing through it at a perfect forty-five degree angle... Yah!
Okita Souji:
Looks like my katana can't cut it open, either.
Li Shuwen:
Allow me... Ha!
Li Shuwen:
Oho... It seems not even my fist can get through.
Mash:
...(Gasp) I'm sorry. I was so taken aback by your barbaric attempts that I froze for a moment!
Mash:
What were you all thinking!? Just because you want to open the box doesn't mean anything goes!
Mash:
Sion may be very forgiving, but even she's going to be upset if you break this box you took without askin–
Fujimaru 1:
Uh... Is it just me, or is the box starting to glow?
Fujimaru 2:
I'm getting serious GUDAGUDA vibes here!
Chacha:
Chacha knows what this is. This is one of those things that blows up in your face, like in the animes!
Chacha:
Chacha knows what Chacha's talking about!
Chacha watches them all the time with Little Okita!
Nobbu:
Wahahahaha!
So ends the Wandering Sea chapter of our lives!
Nobbu:
Wait, what am I saying!? Somebody chuck it outside!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Well? Were there any chilled pickles in it, or what?
Okita Souji:
Ugh, our Vice Commander is useless!
We don't have time for this crap!
Okita Souji:
Aaaaaaah!!!
Mash:
Senpai, quick! Take cover over here!
Nobbu:
Nobuwaaaaaa!?
Goredolf:
Hm? I thought I heard some kinda commotion around here... Perhaps I was mistaken?
Goredolf:
...Hm? Far East interior decor... Japan...
Tearoom... Hospitality... Ooku...
Goredolf:
Gaaah, I don't even want to think about it! Push those memories down, Goredolf! Push them waaay down!
Goredolf:
Just so we're clear, small animal, you saw nothing here, got that? Good. Now, let's head back to the cafeteria.
Goredolf:
That roast pork I prepped this morning should be just about done by now. How would you fancy a slice for yourself?
Goredolf:
Then again, perhaps I shouldn't be teaching a wild animal about the finer points of civilization! Hahahaha!
Fou:
Fou, fooou! I saw fouthing!
Mash:
Senpai!?
Mash:
Thank goodness... It looks like you're all right.
Fujimaru 1:
...How about you, Mash? Are you all right?
Mash:
Oh yes, I'm fine!
Fujimaru 2:
...Where are the others?
Mash:
I'm afraid you're the only one I've found so far...
Mash:
Unfortunately, we can't seem to contact Chaldea,
and I have no idea where we are right now...
???:
Neither do I.
Mash:
...!?
Fujimaru 1:
Who're you!?
???:
Oh, did I scare you? Sorry about that.
Fujimaru 2:
Hello.
???:
And hello to you. It's nice to meet such a polite young [♂ man /♀ lady] for a change.
Mash:
I-I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name?
???:
Oh, yes, of course. I'm Naga... On second thought,
please, call me Otora. I'm a traveler.
Otora:
I was just trying to find my way out of these mountains when I stumbled across you two.
Otora:
I was hoping you might know the way out yourselves,
but it seems we're all in the same boat. What a pity.
Mash:
Otora? Please correct me if I'm mistaken,
but does that mean you're from Japan?
Mash:
Oh, my name is Mash Kyrielight.
And this is...
Fujimaru 1:
Nice to meet you, Otora. I'm Fujimaru of Chaldea.
Fujimaru 2:
My name's . We're both from Chaldea.
Otora:
My, you really are polite.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Mash and Fujimaru.
Otora:
Chaldea, was it?
I don't think I've heard that family name before.
Mash:
Oh, well, Chaldea is–
Otora:
Perhaps you could tell me all about it on the road?
Otora:
Since all three of us are lost, I think it would be best if we traveled together, at least for a while.
Mash:
What do you think, Senpai? I know I would feel better if we weren't out here all by ourselves.
Fujimaru 1:
That sounds great, Otora.
Fujimaru 2:
The more the merrier, right?
Otora:
Wonderful. Then shall we be on our way?
Otora:
Speaking of which...
Which way should we go?
Mash:
That's difficult to say, since we don't know where we are right now...
Otora:
Well, if we keep following this road, I'm sure we'll run into a village or something eventually.
Otora:
We'll just have to trust that Bisha–I mean,
the heavens will guide our way!
Mash:
Y-yes, I suppose that's true. Okay, let's go, Senpai!
Otora:
Now I see. So you two are both from this Chaldea place.
Mash:
Yes. I'm sorry if I went into excessive detail.
It's a very, um, GUDAGUDA set of circumstances...
Otora:
It sounds like you and your allies have been through quite a lot.
Otora:
I sympathize.
I've had my share of people troubles as well...
Mash:
Ah! Senpai, look! I think that's a village up ahead!
Fujimaru 1:
Great! Now we can finally catch our breath.
Otora:
...Hmm, I'm not so sure about that.
Fujimaru 2:
Does it sound kind of noisy there to you too?
Otora:
Uh-oh. This doesn't look good.
Mash:
Oh no...!
Soldier?:
Arrival in enemy territory confirmed.
Commencing supply procurement.
Villager:
Please, stop! We had a terrible harvest this year!
We don't have anything to spare!
Soldier?:
Noncombatant resistance detected. Assessment: threat to operation. Proceeding to eliminate.
Villager:
Eep! What's with these things!?
They won't listen to a word I say!
Soldier?:
Use of firearms permitted. Destroy all nonsupplies.
Leave no survivors.
Villager:
Aaaaaah! N-now they're shooting fire!? Oh no,
the fields! Our fields are gonna go up in smoke!
Mash:
Senpai! It looks like the village is under attack!
Otora:
Pillaging soldiers... I wonder who those infantrymen swear loyalty to? I've never seen outfits like theirs before...
Fujimaru 1:
Let's go, Mash!
Fujimaru 2:
We've gotta save them!
Otora:
Huh!? What do you think you're doing!? You can't possibly mean to take on all those soldiers by yourselves, can you?
Otora:
Especially for a bunch of people you've never even met before...
Fujimaru 1:
It doesn't matter! We still have to go!
Fujimaru 2:
We don't need to have met them to tell that they're in trouble!
Mash:
Yes, Master!
Mash:
Please hide out here until it's safe, Otora.
Let's go, Senpai!
Otora:
...
Villager:
S-stop! Please!
We'll starve to death without our fields!
Soldier?:
Eliminate. Eliminate. Eliminate.
Villager:
Aaaaaahhh!
Mash:
Get back! We'll handle this!
Villager:
Wh-who're you guys?
Soldier?:
Magical energy detected. Assessment: enemy combatants. Reprioritizing targets. Proceeding to eliminate.
--BATTLE--
Mash:
Khh! There really are a lot of them! I don't think I can handle them all on my own after all!
Soldier?:
...Commanding officer detected.
Proceeding to capture and eliminate.
Mash:
Master!!!
Otora:
The weak have been threatened, and I am here to help them.
Otora:
Truly, this is Bisha–I mean, the heavens at work!
Mash:
O-Otora!?
Otora:
I assumed you knew your way around a battlefield, but I never thought you would just charge in headfirst.
Otora:
Surely you could have tried to locate a weak point in the enemy formation, or waited for a better opportunity to strike.
Otora:
You'd both be dead right now if I hadn't been around, you know.
Fujimaru 1:
You're right. I'm sorry, and thank you!
Otora:
...!
Otora:
Ahahahahahaha!
Even now, you're still thanking me!?
Otora:
Ahahaha! You two are very unusual, aren't you?
Otora:
Yes, yes, I haven't forgotten about you.
Just be quiet and stay out of our way for a bit.
Otora:
All right, first order of business, we send these thugs to kingdom come. I'll cut through their ranks, while you defend Fujimaru!
Mash:
R-right! Get behind me, Senpai!
Otora:
Excellent. I'm glad you're so agreeable.
Soldier?:
Enemy reinforcements detected. Enemy force strength unknown. Querying backup possibilities.
Otora:
What are you talking about? This is a battlefield. If you're going to retreat, then retreat. If you're going to fight, then fight!
Otora:
I don't know which clan you're from, but anyone who would torment civilians like this deserves no mercy!
Otora:
Since Bishamo–the heavens can't punish you themselves, I'll have to do it in their stead!
Soldier?:
Operation...aborted...
Otora:
Hmm, well that's disappointing. I thought they would put up a little more fight than that.
Otora:
And then there's the strange armor they're wearing...
Fujimaru 1:
W-wow, she's really strong...
Fujimaru 2:
She took them all out on her own in no time flat!
Mash:
I didn't realize you were a Servant too, Otora.
Otora:
Sorry for keeping that from you. I wanted to see what kind of people you were before I said anything.
Villager:
I don't know who you are, but thank you!
You saved our lives!
Otora:
Please, pay it no mind.
The strong are obligated to protect the weak.
Otora:
Besides, it's these two who really deserve your thanks. I was just following their lead.
Villager:
Yes, we can't thank you two enough either. I've never seen clothes like yours before. Are you travelers?
Fujimaru 1:
Uh, yeah, something like that... So, what is this place?
Fujimaru 2:
Basically. By the way, can you tell us where we are?
Villager:
Oh yes, where are my manners? You must be exhausted. Why not stay in our village today? We'd love to have you, and you'd be right as rain by tomorrow.
Otora:
That sounds great. Why don't we take him up on his kind offer, Mash and Fujimaru?
Mash:
I second that, Senpai.
Let's stay here and rest for the night.
Mash:
...By the way, you don't seem to have a Master, Otora. May I ask why?
Otora:
...You're a sharp one, aren't you? No, I've been summoned to this land, but don't have a Master to call my own.
Otora:
At this rate, it'll probably just be a matter of time until my magical energy runs out and I disappear...
Otora:
I know! Maybe there's a reason that we met, and maybe we could form a temporary contract while we're here?
Fujimaru 1:
Fine with me.
Mash:
Just like that!? Your ability to roll with the punches always surprises me, Senpai, and today is no exception!
Fujimaru 2:
What do you think, Mash?
Mash:
Y-you're asking me?
Mash:
Well...we just saw how strong Otora is for ourselves, so I know I would feel reassured by having her accompany us.
Otora:
Then it's settled! Don't worry, I'm at least a little better at fighting than I look.
Otora:
So please rest assured that you're in good hands with Naga–Er, Otora!
Part One: Sudden Rise! Chaldea Clan's Ambition!
Otora:
I see... So that's how you two ended up here.
Mash:
Yes. I'm guessing this is some sort of Singularity...
Mash:
...but without a way of contacting Chaldea,
we can't really be sure.
Otora:
Hmm. I wish I could help,
but I'm afraid I'm in much the same boat as you.
Villager:
Food's ready! I'm sorry we can't offer you more,
but you're welcome to what we've got.
Mash:
Thank you so much! We'd be grateful to accept.
Right, Senpai?
Villager:
So you lost your way, eh? Well that's a real shame. This little village of ours is right around the Echigo border.
Mash:
Echigo...
I think that's the old name for a region in Japan.
Otora:
(I knew it... No wonder I recognize this place.)
Villager:
This area's seen nothing but fighting lately... Our crops had it bad enough with all the fighting going on nearby, even before those soldiers attacked us in broad daylight.
Villager:
Again, I can't thank you enough for helping us out back there.
Otora:
Nothing but fighting...
Sir, could you remind me what year it is again?
Villager:
Hm? It's the twelfth year of Tenshou. Why do you ask?
Mash:
The twelfth year of Tenshou... That's a Japanese era name. I remember seeing it in a book I read at the library once.
Mash:
Let's see... The twelfth year of Tenshou would correspond to 1584, when Japan was in its Warring States period.
Mash:
If I'm not mistaken, I think Nobunaga died about two years before this.
Otora:
I see... Wait. Nobunaga?
Otora:
Did you just say Nobunaga died?
Fujimaru 1:
We have some history of our own with Nobbu–I mean, Lady Nobunaga.
Otora:
Well now, that's a surprise.
I had no idea you were friends of the Oda family.
Fujimaru 2:
Is something wrong, Otora?
Otora:
N-no, it's nothing.
Otora:
...Nobunaga...
Villager:
Yeah, things've been real tough everywhere since Lord Nobunaga came back to life at Honnoji.
Fujimaru 1:
Huh?
Fujimaru 2:
What was that?
Villager:
Ever since the Lord Nobunaga that died at Honnoji came back to life, all the others have been relentless.
Villager:
That's why it's been nothing but war every which way as of late.
Otora:
Does this mean Nobunaga has been occupying Echigo after coming back to life?
Villager:
Yes, that's right.
Is this the first you're hearing about it?
Otora:
(I never thought things would turn out like this after I died...)
Otora:
What about the other daimyo? I'm sure Takeda and Houjou aren't going to take this lying down.
Villager:
Takeda? Houjou? What're you talking about?
Otora:
You know, Takeda, from the Kai Province, and the Odawara Houjou from the Kanto region.
Villager:
Don't be ridiculous, young lady.
Villager:
Everyone knows the daimyo from Kai is one of the Nobunagas, that fool Oda Kippoushi.
Fujimaru 1:
...Huh?
Otora:
I can't believe that Oda managed to claim Kai...
Fujimaru 2:
...What happened to Takeda Shingen?
Mash:
I'm pretty sure he's supposed to be dead at this point in time...
Mash:
Anyway, did you hear that, Senpai!?
There's something very strange going on here!
Villager:
In Edo, you've got Kaiser Nobunaga with the Imperial Capital!
Otora:
Huh? I-Imperial Capital? Kaiser?
What in the world are you talking about?
Otora:
In fact, back up: What do you mean “one of the Nobunagas”? That makes it sound like there's more than one...
Villager:
Then in Toukai, you've got the best singer in all the land, Summer Nobunaga!
Mash:
Senpai, what's going on!?
Villager:
And in Owari, you've got the genuine article, Real-Deal Nobunaga! Though I'm still not sure what's supposed to be genuine about that one.
Fujimaru 1:
Hang on. Am I hearing this right?
Fujimaru 2:
Are there really multiple Nobbus right now?
Villager:
In Kaga, Echigo's neighbor's neighbor, you've got the leader of all the Mini Nobus, Big Nobbu!
Villager:
And finally, in Azuchi, you've got the one blocking the way to the western paradise: the mysterious Demon King Nobunaga in the Demon King Castle!
Mash:
Western paradise...?
Villager:
Oh yeah. They say you can live it up real good if you head out west towards Osaka.
Villager:
We planned on moving there ourselves someday...
Villager:
...but that's out the window now that Demon King Nobunaga's blocking the way there.
Otora:
...S-so who's the daimyo here in Echigo then?
Villager:
The famous Oda Nobbu, the Demon King of Echigo and incarnation of the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven, of course.
Otora:
Wha... What in the whaaaaaa!?!?!?
Mash:
There certainly were a lot of surprising revelations yesterday, weren't there, Senpai?
Fujimaru 1:
A Warring States period that's nothing but Nobbus...
Fujimaru 2:
We're definitely on the GUDAGUDA train now...
Otora:
(Sigh) I knew I should have done something about Nobunaga while I was still around...
Mash:
Did you say something, Otora?
Otora:
Oh, sorry, just thinking out loud.
Otora:
I swear, how did it come to this?
Otora:
For the time being, let's just stay on this path the villagers told us about and head for my–
Otora:
I mean, Oda Nobbu's Kasugayama Castle in the north of Echigo.
Mash:
Yes, that seems like the best plan of action for now. If we're lucky, maybe we'll find the Nobunaga we know there.
Mash:
...Is that Kasugayama Castle over there?
Mash:
Huh? It sounds pretty lively over there...
Mash:
No, wait! I think they're fighting a battle there!
Mash:
What should we do, Senpai?
Otora:
...
Otora:
...!
Otora:
...Wait, this could be a great opportunity!
Mash:
Huh? Where are you going, Otora!?
Nobbu:
Why are you having so much trouble with them!?
This should be easy for you!
Infantryman:
The enemy has a frighteningly powerful armored warrior on their side, my lady! It's only a matter of time until they break through the castle gates!
Nobbu:
Dammit, Imperial Capital me! Do you HAVE to be a jerk and invade your opponent right after starting a new game!?
Nobbu:
And then there's that Kaiser Nobunaga or whatever bringing in robotic warriors, even though it's the Warring States period...
Nobbu:
What kind of Nobbu Sue power fantasy BS is that!? And calling herself “Kaiser,” of all things!? Puh-lease!
Nobbu:
Me, on the other hand, I'm the only general in this castle! I know it's hard to find good retainers, but this is nuts!
Nobbu:
Now I'm gonna have to go out there myself!
Infantryman:
Lady Nobunaga! We've got another threat at the back of the castle now!
Infantryman:
They've got a beautiful but frighteningly strong warrior in their ranks too! It won't be long before they break through the rear gate!
Nobbu:
Well this sucks.
Nobbu:
I just had to end up with a weird Spirit Origin after I get sent here! I mean, is it me, or is my cape a different shape?
Infantryman:
While you were blabbing on about nonsense like that, Lady Nobunaga, I just received report that the enemy have broken through the rear gate!
Infantryman:
Their general seems weirdly familiar with the castle's defenses! We can't even slow her down!
Nobbu:
Dammit! All right, you lot handle the front gate for a while!
Nobbu:
Try to hold them off while I see to these invaders at the rear gate myself!
Nobbu:
Also, is it just me, or are you speaking awfully casually to me for a lowly infantryman?
Infantryman:
It's just you, my lady!
Infantryman:
Now hurry up and get out there already!
Nobbu:
That's exactly what I'm talking about!
Otora:
Ahahahaha! Did you really think this would be enough to stop me? This is the funniest thing I've seen in ages!
Fujimaru 1:
Otora's certainly excited, isn't she?
Fujimaru 2:
Well I feel reassured.
Mash:
Right. For some reason, she seems to know the way to the castle very well, and she's batting aside the enemy soldiers like gnats.
Nobbu:
That's far enough! You, in the white!
I'm putting a stop to your little escapade myself!
Nobbu:
Let's make this snappy!
I need to hurry up and get back to the front gate!
Otora:
Well now... I don't think I've ever seen such a boldly unabashed thief before.
Otora:
And talking to me like that, in this castle?
How low the Fool of Owari has fallen.
Otora:
There's no way you can beat me, so I suggest you just hand over the castle now.
Nobbu:
What was that?
Nobbu:
I'm sure I heard you wrong,
because it sounded like you called me a fool!
Nobbu:
And I think you even added some nonsense about me not being able to beat you?
Nobbu:
I don't know who you think you are, but you should know that while I can forgive a joke or two, I will not tolerate any true insult!
Otora:
Oh, I'm sorry, let me say that again then.
You can never beat me, Fool of Owari.
Oda Nobunaga:
You're dead!
Oda Nobunaga:
Three Line Formation!!!
Otora:
Fate is decreed by the heavens...
Oda Nobunaga:
(Huh!?)
Oda Nobunaga:
(What's going on? Why didn't my shots hit her?)
Otora:
...Armor is strengthened by the heart...
Oda Nobunaga:
(No, it's not that... My shots are avoiding her!)
Otora:
...And glory is gained on foot!
Otora:
I am none other than the avatar of Bishamonten, Nagao Kagetora!!!
--BATTLE--
Oda Nobunaga:
Well, well. I certainly wasn't expecting to run into Nagao Kagetora of Echigo here.
Fujimaru 1:
Whoa, so Otora is actually SUPER famous!?
Mash:
Yes! Uesugi Kenshin was known as Echigo's god of war, the strongest general of the Warring States period!
Fujimaru 2:
Who's Nagao Kagetora?
Mash:
Uesugi Kenshin was the daimyo of Echigo, and known far and wide as the strongest general in the Warring States period! So much so that she eventually came to be known as Echigo's god of war!
Mash:
And if I'm not mistaken,
her birth name was Nagao Kagetora!
Mash:
Though I didn't know she was a woman up until now!
Nagao Kagetora:
I'm sorry for hiding my identity from you.
Nagao Kagetora:
I knew of my fame and didn't want to frighten you off...
Nagao Kagetora:
Although... Did you say “the strongest general of the Warring States period”?
Nagao Kagetora:
I-I mean, that's not wrong, but still...
Nagao Kagetora:
And wait: “Echigo's god of war”?
Is that really what they call me in your time?
Nagao Kagetora:
Ahahahaha! Echigo's god of war! I like that!
I think I'll start going by it right now, in fact!
Nagao Kagetora:
So there you have it, you villainous scum-of-the-earth, Oda Nobunaga! Nagao Kagetora, Echigo's god of war, is here to bring you to justice!
Nobbu:
Hey, come on.
I haven't done THAT many villainous acts...yet.
Nobbu:
Wait, hang on. Fujimaru? Mash?
I thought that was you!
Fujimaru 1:
Does this mean you're Chaldea's Nobbu?
Nobbu:
It sure does!
Nobbu:
I'm touched you came all this way to help me out!
Fujimaru 2:
Nobbu from Chaldea? You look...different.
Nobbu:
Yeah, my Spirit Origin started acting up when I first materialized here. Got a new class and everything, too.
Nobbu:
Is that okay? Should I do an Ascension?
Nagao Kagetora:
I take it this is the Nobunaga you two are friends with then?
Infantryman:
Lady Nobunaga! I'm sorry to interrupt, but the enemy has broken through the front gate. It won't be long before they take the castle.
Nobbu:
Crap, that's right!
I forgot I was under attack on both sides!
Nobbu:
Would you give me a hand here, Fujimaru?
Nobbu:
I'll reward you with anything you want!
Fujimaru 1:
Let's head to the front gate for now!
Fujimaru 2:
Are you okay with this, Kagetora?
Nagao Kagetora:
Very well. Besides, this did used to be my castle.
I certainly can't have anyone making trouble here.
Nagao Kagetora:
Let's go, Fujimaru!
Mysterious Armored Warrior:
Hyahaha! What kind of pitiful castle is this?
There's nothing but weaklings here!
Mysterious Armored Warrior:
How'm I gonna get a high score like this? And then there's this armor slowing me down... Man, this battle is boring!
Mysterious Armored Warrior:
Where's the boss of this place already!?
Fujimaru 1:
That guy seems like bad news...if it even is a guy.
Fujimaru 2:
Does he seem kind of out of place for the Warring States period to anyone else?
Nagao Kagetora:
You'll not set one step further into my castle!
As Nagao Kageto–
Mysterious Armored Warrior:
Shaddup! Less yapping, more fighting! Or I'll chop off your head while you're makin' your introductions!
Nagao Kagetora:
Now I see. You're one of those types.
Nagao Kagetora:
You do seem to know your way around a battlefield... But I warn you, you underestimate me at your own peril!
Mash:
Kagetora didn't even bat an eye at his surprise attack!
Mash:
No wonder she came to be known as a god of war, Senpai!
Nobbu:
Huh... Where've I heard that voice before...?
Nobbu:
Also, for the record, this is still MY castle, got that?
--BATTLE--
Mysterious Armored Warrior:
Stand still, will you!? Rrrgh, stupid heavy armor!
Nagao Kagetora:
It would seem this battle is over...
Nagao Kagetora:
And I've won!
Mysterious Armored Warrior:
...
Nagao Kagetora:
...Now then, where were we?
Oda Nobunaga:
It's not over yet!
Nagao Kagetora:
Huh!?
Mysterious Armored Warrior:
Laugh! Ningen Mukotsu!
Nagao Kagetora:
He wounded me!? How? It was like his spear passed through my armor...
Mysterious Armored Warrior:
My Ningen Mukotsu cuts through armor like tissue paper!
Mysterious Armored Warrior:
Ahh, I feel a lot better without that stuffy helmet on.
Mysterious Armored Warrior:
Thanks! Now die!
Fujimaru 1:
Is he immortal or something!?
Fujimaru 2:
How's he still alive when the blade went clean through his head!?
Mash:
Could he be a Heroic Spirit known for being immortal!?
Oda Nobunaga:
I don't think so...
I'm guessing that's his armor at work.
Oda Nobunaga:
Look, he's using it to absorb magical energy from his surroundings. I think it's some kind of spell designed to boost healing.
Mash:
Really? How did you figure that out?
Oda Nobunaga:
Uh, well, it's less that I've figured it out,
and more that I already know who he is...
Oda Nobunaga:
And it's not right for him to have an ability like that.
Nagao Kagetora:
So we're dealing with someone unkillable, huh!? Well, maybe not impossible to kill, but difficult... Either way, this is going to be quite a hassle!
B：Mysterious Armored Warrior:
Hahahahaha! I still don't like how heavy this armor is, but damn if it ain't useful!
B：Mysterious Armored Warrior:
Let's do this, punks! I'll kill every last one of ya!
Fujimaru 1:
This isn't looking good...
Fujimaru 2:
Is there something we can do?
Oda Nobunaga:
Hmm. Since it's his armor healing him, I think if we can blow him AND his armor away at once, that would stop him.
Oda Nobunaga:
...All right, guess that means it's up to me then.
Oda Nobunaga:
Hey, Echigo's so-called god of war!
Make sure you dodge this!
Nagao Kagetora:
Dodge what!?
I'm a little busy right now, you–Uh-oh!
Oda Nobunaga:
Get ready, Katsuzou!
I'm hitting you with everything I've got!
Oda Nobunaga:
This is the Demon King's true Three Line Formation!
B：Mysterious Armored Warrior:
A-are you...!?
Mash:
Nobunaga's Three Line Formation seems to have worked on that warrior...but it seems to have hit Kagetora,
too...
Nagao Kagetora:
(Cough, cough). You really did it that time, Nobunaga. It's a good thing bullets can't hit me, no matter how many you shoot at me.
Oda Nobunaga:
Why do you think I went all out like that?
Oda Nobunaga:
Now, how's Katsuzou doing...?
B：Mysterious Armored Warrior:
Hahahaha! I really thought I was done for there, Boss!
You're still just as wild as ever, aren't you!?
Oda Nobunaga:
Seems he's fine. Good. He did look cramped in there.
Fujimaru 1:
You know each other?
Fujimaru 2:
Katsuzou?
Oda Nobunaga:
This is Mori Nagayoshi. Katsuzou was his childhood name. He was one of my retainers back when we were both alive.
Nagao Kagetora:
Mori Nagayoshi... As in, the head of the Mori clan?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! That's right!
I'm Mori Nagayoshi, the great Oni Musashi himself!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Long time no see, Boss!
Mash:
The Mori clan were one of Nobunaga's most loyal retainers, right? Do you have some connection to Mori Ranmaru then?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Oh? You know about Naritoshi, girlie?
Don't tell me he's more famous than me?
Oda Nobunaga:
Yeah, he is Mori Ranmaru's older brother. All right Katsuzou, why they hell did you attack my castle?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! Thanks for blasting that heavy-ass armor offa me, Boss!
Mori Nagayoshi:
I was getting real pissed off about bein' forced to do what it wanted me to do!
Mori Nagayoshi:
'Course, now my body's shot to shit!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Yup, looks like this is it for me. But hey, what're you gonna do?
Mori Nagayoshi:
I'm just a Berserker without a contract! Ain't no magical energy coming my way anytime soon!
Oda Nobunaga:
I thought as much...
Oda Nobunaga:
I knew there had to be a reason you'd try to attack me on someone else's command.
Oda Nobunaga:
Hey, uh, Fujimaru...?
Fujimaru 1:
Want to form a contract with me, Mori?
Fujimaru 2:
Glad to have you on the team, Mori.
Mori Nagayoshi:
...
Oda Nobunaga:
Thanks, Fujimaru. Sorry for the hassle.
Oda Nobunaga:
All right, Katsuzou, this is your chance to turn things around and–
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! You soft in the head or something!?
Mori Nagayoshi:
You want to form a contract with me?
Do you even know who I am?
Nagao Kagetora:
The Oni Musashi of the Mori clan... I've heard rumors about him in Echigo too, and none of them were good.
Nagao Kagetora:
Are you sure about this, Fujimaru?
Fujimaru 1:
It's fine. Any friend of Nobbu's is a friend of mine.
Mori Nagayoshi:
...
Oda Nobunaga:
...
Fujimaru 2:
If I was in his position, I'd want someone to do the same for me.
Nagao Kagetora:
...
Nagao Kagetora:
Good grief.
You certainly are an unusual Master, aren't you?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! I like you, Master!
I think you and I are gonna get along just fine!
Mori Nagayoshi:
From now on, your enemies are mine, and my enemies are yours too. I'll kill anyone you want! Even the boss!
Nobbu:
Man, I didn't think this was going to be so exhausting.
Nobbu:
All right, how 'bout we talk all this over back at the castle?
Nobbu:
What do you mean I'm Fujimaru's retainer now!?
Why's [♂ he /♀ she] get to be the lord of this castle!?
Nagao Kagetora:
Because it makes sense.
Nagao Kagetora:
You and I are both Fujimaru's Servants now, after all...
Nagao Kagetora:
...so it's only right that [♂ he /♀ she] be the one to rule over this province as this castle's lord.
Fujimaru 1:
How'd we get here again?
Fujimaru 2:
You want me to rule this province?
Nagao Kagetora:
Besides, you said it yourself not too long ago.
Rock 'n' Hard Place Nobbu (lol):
Would you give me a hand here,
Fujimaru?
Rock 'n' Hard Place Nobbu (lol):
I'll reward you with anything you want!
Nobbu:
What was I thiiiiiiiiinking!?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha, this is great!
So you're gonna be Master's retainer now, huh?
Mori Nagayoshi:
See, Boss? I told you I knew how to pick 'em!
Mori Nagayoshi:
I knew I made the right choice joining, Master! Not even His Imperial Highness could bring the boss under his wing!
Nobbu:
Why're YOU looking so smug about this!?
Mash:
This is amazing, Senpai...
You're a Warring States daimyo now!
Nagao Kagetora:
That reminds me. Since you're closer to Fujimaru than anyone, Mash, you should be [♂ his /♀ her] chief retainer.
Mash:
Me? Senpai's chief retainer!?
Nobbu:
You're happy about this!?
Nagao Kagetora:
Nobunaga, Nagayoshi, why don't we all start over as infantry? Being rewarded for the glories we earn is the way of the Warring States, after all.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Sounds nice and clear cut to me!
So, which Boss do we kill first?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
“Which Boss first”!?
...Bastard.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Ah well, it does seem like copies of me are running rampant here, so I guess we'll have to take them all out eventually.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Still, I can't get over how I used to be THE Warring States daimyo, and now I'm just a lowly foot soldier...
Nagao Kagetora:
Then let's start our meeting right away, shall we? Mash, would you be so kind as to tell us where we currently stand?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Right! I, Mash Kyrielight, chief retainer of the Chaldea clan, vow to serve Senpai with all my heart and soul!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Now we're the Chaldea clan!?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Ahem. Given the circumstances, I'd like to run this meeting in a manner befitting the Warring States period.
Chief Retainer Mash:
We still don't know how or why we ended up here,
but it's clear this history is not the one we know.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Thus, I suggest the Chaldea Security Organization's first order of business is to gather more information about the situation.
Chief Retainer Mash:
We still might not know right from left here, but now that you're a daimyo, Senpai, it's incumbent upon you to ensure your domain is stable.
Chief Retainer Mash:
So, to start... Infantryman, bring in the map, please!
Lowly Infantryman:
Yes, ma'am! Here you go, ma'am.
E：Chief Retainer Mash:
Our domain is currently surrounded by three other Nobunagas, and we have little in the way of influence or soldiers.
E：Chief Retainer Mash:
It's no exaggeration to say ours is the weakest of all the daimyos' domains.
D：Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Speaking as someone from Owari,
Echigo seems way too remote to be useful.
D：Infantrywoman Nobbu:
The only thing here is snow, snow, and more snow.
Not the best plot of land.
Nagao Kagetora:
(Sigh) This is exactly why you're known as the Fool of Owari...
Nagao Kagetora:
Echigo isn't destitute by any means, if I may say so.
One of its best resources is its ramie.
E：Chief Retainer Mash:
Exactly. In our history, Kagetora built a thriving textile industry in Echigo thanks to its ramie plants.
E：Chief Retainer Mash:
We should be able to fund our army by trading that ramie in this history as well.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Yeah, yeah, you guys can handle all that boring stuff.
Just tell me who we're gonna attack first, Master!
Fujimaru 1:
Hmm, good question.
Fujimaru 2:
Who should we attack first, Chief Retainer Mash?
E：Chief Retainer Mash:
Well, the first target who comes to mind is the daimyo who oversees the vast domain in southern Kanto...
E：Chief Retainer Mash:
...Kaiser Nobunaga, the Nobunaga of the Imperial Capital.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hell yeah! Let's do it!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Just cause she's the boss doesn't mean it's okay for her to stick some weird armor on me and boss me around!
D：Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Seriously, why “Kaiser”? I can't tell if it's so bad it's good or so good it's bad.
Nagao Kagetora:
We could also go after the Fool of Kai, Oda Kippoushi.
Nagao Kagetora:
Kai doesn't have many resources either, but it does have that gold mine Shingen opened.
Nagao Kagetora:
We shouldn't take them lightly.
D：Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Kippoushi was my childhood name, by the way.
Man, I was really wild back then.
E：Chief Retainer Mash:
Then in the west, there's Big Nobbu, the leader of the Mini Nobu brigade, though we don't know enough about them to say how formidable they might be.
D：Infantrywoman Nobbu:
I think I can guess what they're like, but...then again...
Chief Retainer Mash:
There you have it, Senpai. Those are the three factions that surround our Chaldea clan. What would you have us do?
Fujimaru 1:
Hmm, which one to start with...
Fujimaru 2:
Hmm. They all seem pretty tough, on multiple levels...
Nagao Kagetora:
Whichever we attack first, we should start by recruiting more soldiers and filling our coffers.
Nagao Kagetora:
Echigo has a harbor we can use for trade to earn money and gather power. Once we're ready to head out, we can decide which Nobunaga to tackle first.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! Now that's more like it! Just you wait, Master! We're gonna kill us a whole bunch of Bosses!
Lowly Infantryman:
Yeah! Down with Nobunaga!
D：Infantrywoman Nobbu:
There you go again. You're way too disrespectful for a lowly infantryman. Should I chop you up? Is that what you want?
Lowly Infantryman:
Excuse me, but I think we're both in the infantry now. In fact, you should be addressing me with respect, since I've been here longer than you.
Lowly Infantryman:
So on that note: make us proud out there, Nobbu.
D：Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hahahahaha! It can't be helped!
D：Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hahahahaha! Me, an infantrywoman! That's the worst joke I've ever heard in my life!
D：Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Anyway, a word of advice: Make sure you keep an eye out for revolts and coups d'état. Trust me on that one!
Infantrywoman Nobbu pledged her loyalty to you.
(You can now choose her as an NPC.)
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! I'm the invincible Oni Musashi! Just point me at the people you want dead, and I'll kill every last one!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Don't worry, Master!
From now on, your enemies are my enemies too!
Mori Nagayoshi pledged his loyalty to you.
(You can now choose him as an NPC.)
Clash! Decisive Imperial Capital Battle!
Officer:
I have the latest report, my lady. The Third Heroic Spirit Soldier Regiment and Second Transportation Corps we sent to invade Echigo were both defeated...
Officer:
...along with the Armored Heroic Spirit Soldier Type A sent along to command them, ONI MUSASHI.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
...Well? What do you have to say for yourself?
???:
Who, me? I don't think there's anything I need to say. It sounds like the Heroic Spirit Soldiers we provided performed perfectly well.
???:
Any losses incurred due to a strategic miscalculation on your part are no concern of ours.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
Not that, fool. The Heroic Spirit Restraint Armor. I thought they were supposed to give me complete control over any Heroic Spirit imprisoned in them.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
So why did Katsuzou go off to battle on his own when I never authorized his deployment?
???:
Oh, that...
???:
Yes, well, theoretically, the Heroic Spirit Restraint Armor Type A can indeed control any Heroic Spirit perfectly...
???:
...but in practice, the subject's mental state can have a significant effect on that control.
???:
Katsuzou–Mori, was it? I'm afraid the restraints fare worst on Berserkers and those with Mental Corruption...
Kaiser Nobunaga:
Never mind the excuses.
Are you sure the next one's going to work?
???:
Absolutely. Your control over this subject should be much more reliable thanks to the subject's stable mental state.
???:
Now then, since the ritual for these introductions is a crucial part of the process...
???:
Ahem. Come forth, Man-Slayer Monster OKITA SOUJI!
OKITA SOUJI:
There is no right or wrong on the battlefield!
There is only death to Nobbus!
Kaiser Nobunaga:
...You call this “reliable control”?
Kaiser Nobunaga:
She looks ready to jump me the moment I look away.
And she's not even wearing one of those restraints.
???:
Oh she is, I assure you. Unlike that bulky armor set, this underwearlike Heroic Spirit Restraint Armor Type B is perfect for speedy types.
???:
As for her remark, she's set up to kill Nobunagas since that's who you're up against, so I'm afraid there's little to be done there.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
...Hmm, all right. So, what does your boss want?
???:
All he asks is that we are guaranteed the freedom to move around outside the Imperial Capital, and that you continue to purchase Heroic Spirit Soldiers from us.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
...Fine. I can turn a blind eye as long as you don't get in my way.
???:
Wonderful. I'm so glad you're a reasonable Nobunaga.
Now then, if you'll excuse me, I'd best be on my way.
???:
We'll have those extra Heroic Spirit Soldiers you ordered ready to go no later than tomorrow.
???:
Oh, and we'll also be providing you a prototype of the kind we discussed earlier, if you're so inclined to try it.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
Hmph. Can't let my guard down for a moment with that guy.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
You guys have been looking into them, right?
What've you learned?
Officer:
Yes, ma'am! So far, they appear to be doing nothing but good deeds. Donating food and supplies to the needy, treating the sick, that sort of thing.
Officer:
We haven't seen any sign of them trying to sabotage our operations.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
Hmm... Anything else?
Officer:
Well... They do seem to be holding sermons whenever they give people any supplies.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
Oh? Hmm... I see.
Soldier:
Pardon the intrusion, my lady! We've just received word that enemy forces from Echigo are making their way towards the Imperial Capital at incredible speed.
Soldier:
There aren't many of them, but we have confirmed a few powerful Servants among them.
Soldier:
Their firepower is nothing like that of the old Echigo Nobunaga army.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
So, my Echigo self has made her move.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
She must have gotten a Rogue Servant or two to join her.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
I was planning on taking her out first, since her faction was the weakest and smallest...
Kaiser Nobunaga:
...but I guess you really can't count me out when my back's up against a wall.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
All right, you're up, Man-Slayer Monster OKITA SOUJI!
OKITA SOUJI:
Where do you get off having five stars!?
Death to Nobbus everywhere!
OKITA SOUJI:
Also, when the hell am I getting a swimsuit version!?
Kaiser Nobunaga:
“Reliable control” my ass!
Nagao Kagetora:
Phew... Heroic Spirit Soldiers or not, they're still just rank and file. Hardly a threat to us.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! Not a one of them's been able to put up a decent fight!
Mori Nagayoshi:
You just can't count on fighters who have to depend on weird armor!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Isn't that just what you were doing not too long ago?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Actually, whatever happened to that armor, anyway?
Mori Nagayoshi:
It was too heavy to move around in, so I took it off and put it up as a decoration in the tearoom. Wanna come check it out, Boss?
Mori Nagayoshi:
It looks pretty nice as long as you don't have to wear it!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Your taste is just as baffling now as it was back then...
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
On a different note, is it just me, or is this Imperial Capital way too advanced for the Warring States period?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
What idiot approved this anachronistic crap!?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
That said, I like that the public bathrooms here all have bidets. Gotta give Imperial Capital me props for that.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Once you go bidet, you'll never go back to the old way.
Nagao Kagetora:
What's a...bidet?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Wahahahaha! Only the greatest invention ever to come out of the twentieth century!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
I'll have to let you experience its greatness for yourself later!
Nagao Kagetora:
Whatever it is, it must be amazing for you to be this excited about it...
Nagao Kagetora:
By the way, can you tell us how much farther we have to go to reach the enemy's base, Mash?
Chief Retainer Mash:
At this pace, I expect to reach Kaiser Nobunaga's HQ in the Imperial Capital's central district in half a day or so.
Chief Retainer Mash:
It looks like there's a bunch of people gathered over there. I wonder what's going on?
Fujimaru 1:
Let's go check it out.
Fujimaru 2:
I'm curious too.
Man Dressed Like a Warrior Monk:
Now, now, everyone, no need to shove.
We have plenty of stock to go around.
C：Imperial Capital Citizen:
This is great! We haven't been getting as many rations lately, so this is gonna help me out a ton!
C：Imperial Capital Citizen:
Now I won't have to worry about making ends meet for a while.
E：Imperial Capital Citizen:
Do the people living in the western paradise really eat like this every day?
Man Dressed Like a Warrior Monk:
Of course they do. The people of the western paradise enjoy lives of richness and bounty.
Man Dressed Like a Warrior Monk:
You're all welcome to join us there as soon as Demon King Nobunaga is no more.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Those warrior monks seem to be handing out food and supplies.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Do you think they work for the Imperial Capital Nobunaga?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Judging by the way they're dressed, maybe they're monks from somewhere? Do you recognize them, Kagetora?
Nagao Kagetora:
Hmm. They don't seem to be from any temple or shrine around here...
Nagao Kagetora:
Huh? Hang on. Where'd Nagayoshi go?
Fujimaru 1:
He was just here a moment ago.
Fujimaru 2:
Crap.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hey, punk!
Who gave you permission to set up shop here!?
Man Dressed Like a Warrior Monk:
Excuse me? Are you talking to us?
Man Dressed Like a Warrior Monk:
Lady Nobunaga of the Imperial Capital has granted us full permission to conduct our affairs as we see fit...
Man Dressed Like a Warrior Monk:
Furthermore, this is not a shop. We're part of a charitable organization that–
Mori Nagayoshi:
Shut it! This is Master's turf now,
so you're supposed to get permission from [♂ him /♀ her]!
Man Dressed Like a Warrior Monk:
Huh? I'm sorry, I thought I made myself clear.
Lady Kaiser Nobunaga has granted us full–
Mori Nagayoshi:
Oh? So now you're outright disrespecting my Master, huh?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Then I guess you're just gonna have to die!
Man Dressed Like a Warrior Monk:
Wh-what's wrong with this man?
He won't listen to a word I say!
Fujimaru 1:
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Cut that out right now, Mori!
Fujimaru 2:
Stop it, Mori!
D：???:
That's enough out of you, villain! I won't let you threaten the Imperial Capital's peace anymore!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Ow! The hell!?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Who do you think you are, you–
D：???:
I am Captain of the Imperial Capital Shinsengumi's First Unit, Man-Slayer Monster OKITA SOUJI!
OKITA SOUJI:
No more disturbing the peace here!
Come quietly, or there will be trouble!
OKITA SOUJI:
Refuse, and I'll cut you down where you stand!
Fujimaru 1:
Okita!?
Fujimaru 2:
Man-Slayer Monster?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
What in the world do you think you're doing, Okita? Also, a monster? What are you–
OKITA SOUJI:
Death to Nobbus! Feel the pain of my going without a swimsuit for years on end!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Aah! You're attacking me just like that!? And why're you blaming me!? I don't choose who gets swimsuits around here!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai, something doesn't seem right with Okita!
Fujimaru 1:
That's for sure.
Fujimaru 2:
I'm sure you'll get your swimsuit this yea... Uh... Wow, it has been a while, hasn't it?
Nagao Kagetora:
I suspect she's being controlled,
just like Nagayoshi was earlier.
Nagao Kagetora:
In which case, I think our only option is to hit her hard enough to snap her out of it.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hell yeah! She was irritating the shit outta me!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hang on, Master! I'll just go chop off her head and present it to you!
Fujimaru 1:
No heads, please. I don't need a spare.
Fujimaru 2:
Don't take her head, but watch out! Okita's no pushover!
OKITA SOUJI:
I'm at the top of my game thanks to my new underwear, so I'd worry more about your necks than mine, villains! You won't even hear me coughing today!
OKITA SOUJI:
Nobody disturbs the Imperial Capital's peace on my watch!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
We're totally the bad guys here, aren't we?
--BATTLE--
OKITA SOUJI:
Urk! I can't believe I lost...
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Ugh! You barely even used your territory before, but you just had to give us a hard time with it now, didn't you?
Nagao Kagetora:
That aside, your skill with the sword is truly impressive. I don't know which Heroic Spirit you are,
but you were a most formidable opponent.
OKITA SOUJI:
Ghh... If I can't have a swimsuit...can I at least be Okita Santa? Souji Claus?
Okita:
...Huh!? What am I doing here?
Okita:
I remember being summoned to this land, but after that...
Okita:
(Cough, hack!)
Mori Nagayoshi:
Oh? She dead now?
Mori Nagayoshi:
...Nope, she's still alive, Master!
But don't worry, I'll finish her off right now!
Fujimaru 1:
No, don't!
Fujimaru 2:
Stop! Okita's a friend of ours!
Chief Retainer Mash:
It looks like she fainted, but at least she's come back to her senses.
Chief Retainer Mash:
We should let her rest up for a while until she's back on her feet.
Nagao Kagetora:
Say, where did those warrior monks go?
Nagao Kagetora:
...It looks like they ran off in the confusion.
Too bad. I had more questions for them.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hmm. Warrior monks, huh...
Mori Nagayoshi:
So what do we do now, Master?
Nagao Kagetora:
We can't leave Echigo unoccupied forever, so I say we keep heading for the Imperial Capital Nobunaga's HQ.
Fujimaru 1:
Let's do it!
Fujimaru 2:
Like they say, the best strike is the one your opponent never sees coming.
Nagao Kagetora:
Then let's be on our way! The enemy lies in the Imperial Capital! Down with Nobunaga!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Do you have to put it like that?
--ARROW--
Officer:
Enemy forces have infiltrated the complex!
They'll be here any moment!
Kaiser Nobunaga:
So, they're here, are they...
I never expected I'd be the first to drop out.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
But then, this battle isn't over yet.
You, bring me that prototype thing.
Officer:
Are you sure, my lady?
We still haven't finished making adjustments to it...
Kaiser Nobunaga:
That's fine. I don't expect it to be much help anyway. I'm mostly curious about what it is they're up to.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
Also, if I'm defeated, you lot are to surrender to the me from Echigo.
Officer:
M-my lady, surely you can't–
Kaiser Nobunaga:
Don't worry, that me is a lot more reasonable than she looks. Especially now that she's found some capable retainers.
Officer:
...Yes, my lady. Understood.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
Now then, it won't be any fun if I make it too easy for them.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
If I have to go out, I'm going out with a bang.
Nagao Kagetora:
Nagao Kagetora, Echigo's god of war, has arrived!
Nagao Kagetora:
Prepare yourself for defeat,
Oda Nobunaga of the Imperial Capital!
Nagao Kagetora:
Ahahaha, I could really get used to going by “God of War” like this!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Someone's certainly enjoying herself...
Kaiser Nobunaga:
...So, you've come.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Heya! How's it going, somewhat slimmer Boss!
Mori Nagayoshi:
You got a lotta nerve,
making me fight in that heavy-ass armor!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Just 'cause you're the boss doesn't mean it's okay for you to slap some weird armor on me and boss me around!
Kaiser Nobunaga:
I didn't make you do anything.
You ran off on your own, remember?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Well, what're you gonna do?
This is Oni Musashi we're talking about, after all.
Fujimaru 1:
This is the end of the line for you, Nobunaga of the Imperial Capital!
Fujimaru 2:
You've got a real soft spot for Mori, don't you, Nobbu?
Kaiser Nobunaga:
Hmph. You must be Fujimaru,
the new lord of Echigo.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
Between you, Nagao Kagetora, Echigo me, and Katsuzou...I have to admit, I don't like my chances.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Does that mean you'll be willing to surrender without a fight, Imperial Capital Nobunaga?
Kaiser Nobunaga:
Wahahahaha! Don't be ridiculous,
kid with the eggplant-colored peekabangs!
Kaiser Nobunaga:
I'm the Oda Nobunaga who advanced this Imperial Capital three hundred years in the blink of an eye!
Kaiser Nobunaga:
There's no way I'm just going to roll over and die!
Nagao Kagetora:
Is that what I think it is!?
Chief Retainer Mash:
A Holy Grail fragment!?
Kaiser Nobunaga:
It's time to wake up, Demon of [[File:berserkervoice1.png50px]].
Show me what you're made of!
Demon of [[File:berserkervoice1.png50px]]:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!
Chief Retainer Mash:
What's that!? It looks like...the dark giant we saw in the last Imperial Capital!?
Nagao Kagetora:
No way...a Divine Spirit-class monster!?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahaha, where'd this thing come from!?
I knew this boss was pretty badass in her own right!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
What do you think you're doing, Imperial Capital me?
Kaiser Nobunaga:
Hmph, as if you need me to spell it out.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
Now try not to die too quickly on me!
Demon of [[File:berserkervoice1.png50px]]:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!!!
--BATTLE--
Demon of [[File:berserkervoice1.png50px]]:
RR... RRRAAAhhh...
Kaiser Nobunaga:
...I should've known. This doesn't even count as a prototype. It was downright defective.
Nagao Kagetora:
It would seem this is it for you,
Oda Nobunaga of the Imperial Capital.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
Hmph... Nagao Kagetora, the guardian of Echigo, huh.
I never expected you would be summoned here.
Kaiser Nobunaga:
Then again, maybe it was inevitable,
given the structure of this world.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hey, Imperial Capital me. Any other last words?
Kaiser Nobunaga:
Wahahahaha! Don't waste your time asking when you really don't care!
Kaiser Nobunaga:
None of this could be helped!
Kaiser Nobunaga:
Farewell, Oda Nobunaga!
Kaiser Nobunaga:
As for you, Fujimaru of Chaldea!
Kaiser Nobunaga:
I'm going to be watching closely from the great beyond to see if you can survive in a world this harsh!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Nobunaga of the Imperial Capital has disappeared...
Fujimaru 1:
...Does this mean we won?
Fujimaru 2:
It looked like she still had something to say.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hey, Boss. Was that–
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Don't say it, Katsuzou. I'm still me, no matter what.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
All right, Fujimaru, let's get out of here!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Now that we've won Kanto for you, you'd better not be stingy with our rewards!
Nagao Kagetora:
...
Conqueror of the Changing Times! Oda Kippoushi!
Kai Soldier:
Lord Oda! The Nobunaga from Echigo's army is invading Kai as we speak! They number approximately twenty thousand!
Oda Kippoushi:
So, my Echigo self is finally here!
Oda Kippoushi:
No, wait. That's not quite right anymore, is it?
Oda Kippoushi:
As I recall, Fujimaru of Chaldea overthrew her and took her place as Echigo's lord, right?
Kai Soldier:
Yes, though it does seem as though the Nobunaga of Echigo still serves under [♂ him /♀ her].
Oda Kippoushi:
Wahahahaha! What's my other self doing over there!?
Oda Kippoushi:
Still, I'm impressed this Chaldea clan has assembled such a large army in so short a time!
Oda Kippoushi:
How many soldiers do I have at my command right now?
Kai Soldier:
Well... I'm afraid we can't recall the ones we sent to fight the Owari Nobunaga, so that only leaves us with around two thousand...
Oda Kippoushi:
So the Echigo army outnumbers us ten to one, huh... Guess there really isn't any way we're winning this one then!
Li Shuwen:
Come now, Lord Oda. There's more to winning a battle than simply numbers.
Li Shuwen:
At times, a single strike with all one's might behind it can turn heaven and earth on their heads.
Oda Kippoushi:
Well said! You're right! This is just like Okehazama all over again!
Oda Kippoushi:
Though I guess it's just my luck that I'll have to go through something like that twice!
Oda Kippoushi:
Anyway, you said you're from Chaldea too, right, old-timer? Don't worry about me. You're free to go back to them.
Li Shuwen:
Thank you, but I won't be doing that.
Oda Kippoushi:
...What do you mean?
Oda Kippoushi:
They're your allies, aren't they?
Li Shuwen:
They are, but there is more to this than that.
Li Shuwen:
You took me in and gave me food and shelter when I needed it. I can't leave your service until I've paid you back.
Oda Kippoushi:
...
Oda Kippoushi:
Wahahahaha! I like you, Li Shuwen! All right then, go ahead and put those fists of yours to good use for me!
Oda Kippoushi:
All hands, prepare for battle! Bring me my guns!
Kai Soldier:
Yes, right away!
Oda Kippoushi:
This is where my conquest begins in earnest!
Let's go, men!
Kai Soldiers:
Yeeeaaaaaahhh!!!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Isn't it kind of old-fashioned to bring extra flags so it looks like your army's bigger than it really is?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Not to mention that these people aren't even real soldiers.
Chief Retainer Mash:
True. The ones bringing up the rear are only part-timers we hired on the condition that they run away once the fighting starts...
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
And then there's this land.
I feel like I've seen it somewhere before...
Mori Nagayoshi:
You know, I still don't like that chick's plan. Battle's supposed to be all about momentum, not sneaking around.
Mori Nagayoshi:
I say we just run in, kill the boss here,
and be done with it!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
You really do have a one-track mind, don't you...
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Well, we've come this far, so we might as well see what Echigo's vaunted god of war can really do.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Besides, this is the land where she and Takeda Shingen crossed swords for as long as they lived.
Fujimaru 1:
Where is Kagetora, anyway?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Now that you mention it, I don't see her anywhere.
Maybe she had to go take a leak.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
You know, that's a good idea. Don't want to be caught with a full bladder once the fighting starts, am I right?
Fujimaru 2:
That was one of the battles of Kawanakajima, right?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Yes, those were perhaps Kagetora and Takeda Shingen's most famous battles. One is particularly notable.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Historically, Kagetora marched right into Shingen's camp all on her own and challenged him to a duel!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
And you believe that? Come on, haven't they proven that was all bullshit with modern technology by now?
Chief Retainer Mash:
This rain just came out of nowhere, Senpai!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Well that's not good! We'd better stop the march and take shelter from the rain.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
While we're at it, we can have our kouchu, too.
That's an older term for “lunch,” by the–
Chief Retainer Mash:
What's that sound!?
Oda Kippoushi:
I am Oda Kippoushi, the Fool of Owa–I mean, Kai! I'm here to take your commander's head!
Chief Retainer Mash:
The enemy's ambushed us, Senpai!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Wait... If this is like Okehazama again, does this mean we're in Yoshimoto's shoes?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
It even looks like the same terrain from back then,
what with them above and us below!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Fine by me!
Them coming to us saves us a lot of trouble!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hang on, Master!
I'll be right back with that cheeky boss's head!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
How can you possibly be so confident after constantly getting your ass handed to you!?
Oda Kippoushi:
Remember men, the only thing we're after is the head of Chaldea's commander! CHAAARGE!!!
--BATTLE--
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai! The enemy forces aren't slowing down!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
And our rear guard is running away! Though I guess that can't be helped, since it was in their contract!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
No punishment for running away, and payment in advance. The Chaldea clan must be the nicest daimyo in all the Warring States. Did you give them all dental, too?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Then again, this probably isn't the time to be discussing thaaat!
Oda Kippoushi:
You're miiiiiine!!!
Oda Kippoushi:
What was that!?
Kai Soldier:
It's an ambush!
More soldiers were waiting on the cliff behind us!
Oda Kippoushi:
...Is that her!?
Nagao Kagetora:
Bishamonten's protection is with us! Chaaarge!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai, look! It's Kagetora!
Oda Kippoushi:
Never mind that! As long as we take their commander's head, this battle is ours!
Enemy Soldier:
B-but that general dressed in white is horrifically strong! She's tearing through our forces from behind!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Dammit, couldn't that laughing tiger have gotten here sooner!?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Anyway, now that the enemy thinks we're retreating, it's time to bring out our real army and surround them!
Fujimaru 1:
Real army?
Fujimaru 2:
Is this your plan, Nobbu?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Like they say, you can't fool your enemy if you can't fool your friends! All right, let's push them back!
Nagao Kagetora:
I'll keep cutting my way straight through them as well!
Nagao Kagetora:
Follow my lead! Meeeow!!!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Meow! Wait. Meow?
Fujimaru 1:
Let's go!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Right! Chief Retainer Mash Kyrielight, preparing for battle!
Fujimaru 2:
Kagetora seems weirdly hype about this...
Chief Retainer Mash:
Come on, Master! Let's follow her lead!
--BATTLE--
Oda Kippoushi:
Dammit! I guess this is it...
Oda Kippoushi:
I should've known the same Okehazama trick wouldn't work on me.
Chief Retainer Mash:
It looks like this battle is ours, Senpai.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Phew... Kagetora cut it too damn close for comfort, if you ask me.
Nagao Kagetora:
...! It's not over yet!
Li Shuwen:
It's too late. By the time you realize what's happened, my strike will already have ended this. Don't worry, I'll make it fast.
Li Shuwen:
This may not be the cleanest solution,
but it's certainly effective!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai!?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Damn, that smarts... Felt like my insides were about to become my outsides.
Fujimaru 1:
You took the blow for me, Mori!?
Fujimaru 2:
Mori, you saved my life!
Li Shuwen:
Oho, so you shielded your lord with your own bulk. I see you know how to make good use of that oversized body of yours.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Nobody tries to lay a finger on my Master and gets away with it, old man! You're dead!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Nice one, Katsuzou! All that's left now is to take care of my Kai sel–
Oda Kippoushi:
Okay, we're done here! Everyone, stand down!
Call your soldiers off, Echigo me. We surrender!
Nagao Kagetora:
Err, are you sure about this?
Oda Kippoushi:
Hey, I knew I was up against Nagao Kagetora of Echigo, not to mention my own damn self.
Oda Kippoushi:
You defended against my ambush, so I don't even have the element of surprise anymore.
Oda Kippoushi:
I can't ask my soldiers to keep risking their lives for me now.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
I'm surprised you're not more stubborn,
being me and all.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
By the way, is it just me, or is that me a lot more versatile than, uh, me?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai! Mori and Li Shuwen are still fighting!
Mori Nagayoshi:
You're dead, old man!
Nobody attacks my Master and lives to talk about it!
Li Shuwen:
Well, well, well... What am I going to do with you?
Li Shuwen:
Strange as this may sound coming from me, but if you insist, I am quite happy to keep this up until you're dead.
Mori Nagayoshi:
What are you, senile!?
You're the one who's dying today!
Fujimaru 1:
Okay, break it up!
Fujimaru 2:
That's enough, Mori!
Oda Kippoushi:
Huh, so this is your castle, huh. Not bad.
Nagao Kagetora:
Well sure. It used to be mine, after all.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hey, how come we're letting our prisoner walk around unrestrained?
Oda Kippoushi:
Ah, don't be like that, me. I'll go back to my cell as soon as I've had a look around.
Oda Kippoushi:
Oh, right. Would you mind getting the old man some tea?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Li Shuwen? Understood.
Chief Retainer Mash:
You know, I'm still surprised Li Shuwen has been in Kai with you this whole time.
Oda Kippoushi:
He's one of you guys, right?
I hope you can forgive him.
Oda Kippoushi:
He doesn't work for me or anything.
He was just trying to pay me back for my hospitality.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
First you have him try to kill our leader, and now you want us to turn the other cheek? Yep, you're me. No one else could say something like that with a straight face.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hm? Say, what happened to Katsuzou?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Oh no. Now that you mention it, I saw him heading for the jail cells earlier!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Do you think he's still mad at Li Shuwen!?
Fujimaru 1:
We'd better go after him!
Fujimaru 2:
This can't end well for either of them!
Mori Nagayoshi:
What do you think, old man!?
My tea's damn good stuff, right?
Li Shuwen:
Heh. I don't think I've been quite so amazed in decades.
Li Shuwen:
Your talent for tea is really something. I guess you can't judge a book by its cover after all.
Chief Retainer Mash:
...They appear to be enjoying a nice cup of tea together...
Fujimaru 1:
I had no idea Mori was so into tea...
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Even Rikyu the tea lover praised his skill. And believe it or not, Katsuzou's a great writer, too.
Fujimaru 2:
They almost seem like a grandfather and his grandson.
Chief Retainer Mash:
I'm surprised to see them getting along so well now,
but it's also very heartwarming.
Mori Nagayoshi:
All right! Now that we've each had a cup, what do you say we get back to killing each other?
Li Shuwen:
Fine by me. This time, we won't stop until one or both of us are dead!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Cut it out already!!!
Nobunobu! Nobunonobubu!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Our next target will be the Mini Nobu brigade in Kaga. First off–
Nagao Kagetora:
Before we get started, can I ask you something?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Of course. What is it, Kagetora?
Nagao Kagetora:
What in the world are Mini Nobus?
Fujimaru 1:
An excellent question.
Chief Retainer Mash:
R-right, I'm sorry. I've gotten so used to this weirdness that it's hard to keep track of what's strange anymore.
Fujimaru 2:
Uh...
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Honestly, I have no idea either.
Chief Retainer Mash:
In that case...here's a Mini Nobu refresher!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Mini Nobus are embodiments of Nobunaga's subconscious that came about due to a freak Holy Grail accident.
Chief Retainer Mash:
It's still not clear how they work, but they've been known to spontaneously reproduce, regenerate, and evolve...
Chief Retainer Mash:
...to the point that they can be a pain for most Servants to fight.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Thus far, Chaldea has been unable to conduct a thorough analysis on them. According to a trusted source:
F：Beautiful Famous Genius Artist:
“Let's just file them under 'Mysterious Life-forms' and call it a day.”
F：Beautiful Famous Genius Artist:
“I don't really want to think about them too much,
and besides, I'm tired enough as it is.”
E：Beautiful Famous Genius Artist:
“Let's just file them under 'Mysterious Life-forms' and call it a day.”
E：Beautiful Famous Genius Artist:
“I don't really want to think about them too much,
and besides, I'm tired enough as it is.”
Chief Retainer Mash:
...And that's all she wrote.
Nagao Kagetora:
I see...
Nagao Kagetora:
Actually, no. I really don't see, and that explanation didn't shed any light on the matter.
Nagao Kagetora:
Still, those things are impressively cute, especially for having to do with Nobunaga.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
They might be cute, but they're also surprisingly ruthless.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Come to think of it, how did they even end up with a domain of their own?
Chief Retainer Mash:
According to my research, the Mini Nobus used to work for all the other Nobunagas before they set off on their own.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Some were dissatisfied with their treatment, some wanted to advance their careers, and some just wanted to watch the world burn...
Chief Retainer Mash:
...but whatever their reasons, they eventually assembled in the Kaga Province...
Chief Retainer Mash:
...and officially founded a new nation of the Mini Nobus, by Mini Nobus, for the Mini Nobus.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
What in the world are they thinking?
Mori Nagayoshi:
So, how do we handle them? Cut 'em down at the root?
Mow 'em down where they stand?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
How are those any different?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
I'd say if we can capture them and get them to obey us, they could at least make decent foot soldiers.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
The one good thing about them is, you can use them as much as you like without wearing them out!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Wahahaha!
Nagao Kagetora:
I think I see why they left you now.
Big Nobbu:
Nobbu, nobbuuu!
Mini Nobus:
Nobu nobu, nobu nobu bubuuu!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Well, I don't know where I am or what these things want with me. Now what?
Big Nobbu:
Nobbu, nobbu buuu!
Mini Nobus:
Nobu nobubu! Nobubuuu!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Hm? Hey, these are chilled pickles.
That's real nice of you.
Hijikata Toshizo:
What's that? This area is famous for them?
Hijikata Toshizo:
(Munch, munch) Hmm, not bad. Not bad at all.
Big Nobbu:
Nobbu buuu! Nobubu!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Sure, I don't mind staying here awhile.
Not with chilled pickles this good.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Besides, I still have to look for the others.
Mini Nobus:
Nobbuuu! Nobbuuu!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Hey, get off! You're bothering me!
Nobusengumi:
Nonono bubububuuu!
Big Nobbu:
Nobbu!?
Hijikata Toshizo:
Now what? Whatever's going on,
they seem real worked up about it...
Warrior Monk?:
There is nothing to be gained by letting such evil creatures run amok. Exterminate them all, in the name of Lord Makuzu!
Mini Nobus:
Nobbu!?
Armored Warrior Monk:
Commencing capture of unidentified life-forms.
Eliminate all that resist.
Mini Nobus:
Nobbu!? Nobu buuu!?
Warrior Monk?:
All impure beings shall bow before the might of our god!
Mini Nobus:
Nooobubu! Nobubuuu!!!
Warrior Monk?:
Hmph. Begging for mercy when you can only speak nonsense? What a joke. Let's hurry this up and–
Hijikata Toshizou:
HRAAAAAAHHH!
Armored Warrior Monk:
...!?
Warrior Monk?:
Wh-who're you!?
Hijikata Toshizo:
This is Shinsengumi territory now.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Don't think any of you are making it out of here alive!
Mini Nobus:
No... Nobbuuu! Nobbu nobbu!
Warrior Monk?:
Wh-what do you want with us?
Warrior Monk?:
We're only trying to exterminate these creatures to make the world a better–
Hijikata Toshizo:
Who cares? This is Shinsengumi territory now.
Hijikata Toshizo:
That's all there is to it!!!
Warrior Monk?:
Th-this is getting us nowhere...
A-Armored Monks! Eliminate him, now!
Armored Warrior Monk:
Preparing to eliminate enemy Servant.
Numbers One through Sixteen, surround him.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Now that's more like it!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Hey, little guys! Snap out of it!
If you want to live, then do exactly as I say!
Mini Nobus:
No, nobbuuu! Nobu nobu nobu nobu!
Nagao Kagetora:
Hmm. No sooner do we come here to scout things out than we find a battle already in progress.
Nagao Kagetora:
Are those the Mini Nobus you were talking about?
Fujimaru 1:
That's them all right.
Chief Retainer Mash:
It looks like they're fighting people from a different faction...
Fujimaru 2:
Wait. Is that...!?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hey, does that big lug raising hell over there look familiar to you?
Chief Retainer Mash:
That looks like...Hijikata?
Nagao Kagetora:
So he's an acquaintance of yours.
How would you like to handle this?
Nagao Kagetora:
Fortunately, we're downwind at the moment, so if we act quickly, we could easily wipe out both sides at once.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
That smile of yours is entirely too creepy,
laughing tiger. But, you've got a point.
Mori Nagayoshi:
They're both enemies of yours, right, Master?
This is perfect!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Let's mow 'em all down right now!
Fujimaru 1:
That could be Chaldea's Hijikata.
Fujimaru 2:
I know the Mini Nobus are our enemy right now, but...
Nagao Kagetora:
I see. It sounds like things aren't that cut and dry then.
Nagao Kagetora:
In that case, for the time being, why don't we help the Mini Nobus and this Hijikata person?
Nagao Kagetora:
If they give us any trouble afterwards,
then we can cut them all down.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
No wonder you came to be known as Echigo's god of war. The prospect of losing never even occurs to you, does it?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
It's a little freaky, honestly.
Nagao Kagetora:
Oh, shut up.
Nagao Kagetora:
At any rate, we can't pass up this chance! Nagayoshi, you go around and flank them from the left!
Nagao Kagetora:
I'll get out in front of the Mini Nobus and face those guys head-on!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Shut up! Don't tell me what to do!
Fujimaru 1:
Would you mind, Mori?
Fujimaru 2:
Please, Mori?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Sure, Master!
I'm just fine with following your orders!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Let's do this! Rrraaaaaah!!!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Mori seems oddly willing to listen to you, Senpai.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
I'll say. I've never seen him listen to anyone besides you in my entire life.
Mini Nobu:
Nobbu! Nobbubu!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Suck it up! If you want to make a life for yourselves, you're gonna have to fight for it!
Hijikata Toshizo:
If any of you turn tail, I'll cut you down myself!
Advance! Cut them up!!! ADVANCE!!!
Nagao Kagetora:
Couldn't have said it better myself.
I see you understand the essence of war.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Who're you? You with these monk guys?
Fujimaru 1:
We're here to help!
Fujimaru 2:
I'm of Chaldea!
Chief Retainer Mash:
We'll back you up, Hijikata!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Let's save the chitchat for after these guys are dead!
Nagao Kagetora:
Nagao Kagetora has arrived!
Nagao Kagetora:
Worry not, Mini, um...Nobus! I'm here to help!
--BATTLE--
Warrior Monk?:
What? Kagetora of Echigo?
Warrior Monk?:
They must be the ones in the report!
All units, f-fall back!
Armored Warrior Monk:
Casualties: thirty percent. Continued territory preservation: difficult. Retreat!
Nagao Kagetora:
We don't have enough fighters to go after them.
Looks like this is it for now.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Thanks, Fujimaru. You were a big help.
Hijikata Toshizo:
So, who're these guys?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Oh, yes, this is–
Mori Nagayoshi:
I'm the one who should be asking you that, you big lug! Who do you think you are, looming over my Master like that!?
Hijikata Toshizo:
What was that? Who the hell are you?
Hijikata Toshizo:
You'll shut that mouth of yours right now if you know what's good for you!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Will you two stop it? We don't have time for this crap!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
This is the whole problem with Berserkers. And yeah, I know I spent that one summer as a Berserker, so you don't have to remind me.
Big Nobbu:
Nobbwaaa! Nobbu buuu!
Chief Retainer Mash:
It's difficult to make out what they're saying,
but I think they're...happy?
Hijikata Toshizo:
Sure they are. Didn't they just say so?
Fujimaru 1:
You can understand them, Hijikata?
Hijikata Toshizo:
More or less.
Fujimaru 2:
What do you think, Nobbu?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Me? Don't look at me.
I can't understand a word they're saying.
Nagao Kagetora:
Does this mean you're willing to merge with the Chaldea clan then?
Big Nobbu:
Nobbwa! Nobu nobbu!
Hijikata Toshizo:
They say that's fine. Besides, apparently things've been tough for these guys all around the country.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Wahahaha, this'll make stuff way easier! You'll never run out of these things no matter how hard you work them!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Finally, no more toiling in obscurity as an infantrywoman for me! Go ahead and make me a daimyo right now, if you like.
Mini Nobus:
Nobuuu buuu! Nobuuu buuu!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
What is this? Are they booing me?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Don't worry! Working for the Chaldea clan means two days off every week and no overtime whatsoever.
Chief Retainer Mash:
We're even planning to all go on a trip to Sado Island together during summer vacation.
Nagao Kagetora:
Why Sado? If we're going to go on a trip,
shouldn't it be somewhere a little farther away?
Fujimaru 1:
G-O-L-D is why. I've got a good feeling.
Fujimaru 2:
I get the feeling there's lots of gold to be found there...
Nagao Kagetora:
Ahahaha! Don't be silly.
Nagao Kagetora:
I know there's a silver mine there, but there can't be more than a little gold dust left by now.
Nagao Kagetora:
I've certainly never heard of any gold mines around there.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
I've got sort of like a Warring States isekai vibe about that area. I think it's worth a bit of digging there too!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Getting back on track: Mini Nobus, you'll all be starting out as infantry, just like everyone else.
Chief Retainer Mash:
But if you work hard, you could be promoted up to a Samurai General one day.
Mini Nobu:
Nobbu! Nobbunooo!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahaha!
I just realized they look exactly like you, Boss!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
What're you talking about! The only thing we share is a color scheme! Hey! Why're you being so friendly to them!?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Huh? Hang on. If they're all infantry too,
does this mean I'm the same rank as them?
Big Nobbu:
Nobu nobu!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahaha!
They say it's good to be part of the team, Boss!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
This can totally be helped!!!
Hijikata Toshizo:
I'm Hijikata Toshizo, Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi. What's that? You want me to command the infantry?
Hijikata Toshizo:
Fine, but Warring States or not, I'm Shinsengumi first and foremost. Don't forget that.
Hijikata Toshizo pledged his loyalty to you.
(You can now choose him as an NPC.)
Formed! We the Chaldea Kaientai!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
So this is all that was left in their room, huh...
Da Vinci:
That's right. It seems pretty clear that this is responsible for their disappearance.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
What is this thing, anyway?
It's obviously not an ordinary box.
Da Vinci:
This is a generic version of a certain Atlas alchemist's device for conducting thought experiments.
Da Vinci:
It's official name is “Logos Reenactor Generic.”
Da Vinci:
Once you input your desired conditions, it simulates a limited observable environment in which to conduct the thought experiment virtually.
Da Vinci:
One that's essentially indistinguishable from reality.
Da Vinci:
Actually, when you consider that you can set its parameters however you like, you could say it creates real experiences through a dreamlike state?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Well that's impressive. So even if it only works on a limited scale, could you use it to see how hypothetical versions of history would play out?
Da Vinci:
Theoretically, sure. But in practice, it doesn't seem to have worked too well.
Da Vinci:
I checked out the records for its test runs, and the inventor doesn't seem to have been able to fix the setting meant to smooth over the discrepancies between the simulation and reality.
Da Vinci:
So as more paradoxes, inconsistencies, and bugs in the created world pile up, its environments eventually become Singularities.
Da Vinci:
Which, as you can imagine, is a pretty serious flaw.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Huh? So, it's basically a Singularity generator?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
What was something that dangerous doing in Chaldea's storage room to begin with?
Da Vinci:
Hmm, it was probably a gift or something. I'd guess it's from when Marisbury was still the director here.
Da Vinci:
Of course, I'm sure he knew it was dangerous, and would've made sure it was sealed away tightly...
Da Vinci:
...but at any rate, what matters now is resolving the issue facing us now.
Da Vinci:
Namely, the fact that an Atlas artifact meant to simulate alternate histories is now generating a Singularity.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
So what you're saying is, this box turned into a Singularity and sucked everyone else in?
Oryou:
So how do we bring them back?
Does Oryou just need to smash this thing?
Da Vinci:
I wouldn't recommend that.
That'd be like destroying a Coffin during a Rayshift.
Da Vinci:
Besides, there's no telling what could happen if we forcibly shut down its simulated world.
Da Vinci:
I tried running the suspension spell in its emergency manual, but it gets deflected.
Da Vinci:
That could mean there are some seriously dangerous bugs in the system.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
So it's throwing up errors somewhere?
That doesn't sound good...
Da Vinci:
The point is, destroying it could end up killing everyone inside.
Da Vinci:
It'll take some time, but it might be that our only option is to have someone inside the simulation see it through to the end...
Da Vinci:
...and essentially beat the game by containing the Singularity and returning its world to proper history.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
I see. In that case, someone'll have to go inside and fulfill those objectives.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Either that, or find a way to get the message to the people already inside so they can handle it.
Da Vinci:
True... Unfortunately, interfering with the simulation too much will end up generating even more serious errors...
Da Vinci:
...so realistically, I think sending in two, maybe three Servants is probably the best we can manage.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Okay, now I get it.
Then I guess me and Izo'll be the ones going in.
Okada Izo:
Whaaat!? Where the hell do you get off ropin' me into this, Ryouma!?
Okada Izo:
Why should I stick my neck out when there's no upside for me at all!?
Oryou:
Yeah, Ryouma, even a frog would be more helpful than him. You should choose someone stronger.
Oryou:
What about that lady eating udon in the cafeteria?
She seems tough.
Okada Izo:
What was that, Oryou!?
You saying I'm weaker than the udon lady!?
Oryou:
Uh, yeah. Have you not seen the scary guy with four swords she summons?
Oryou:
Besides, you know those shiny light thingies?
Laser beams or something like that...
Oryou:
You can't fire them from your sword.
Oryou:
Most of the other Sabers can fire them from their swords. Not you, though.
Okada Izo:
Don't be stupid! Swords aren't SUPPOSED to shoot freakin' laser beams!
Okita Alter:
In that case, I will go with you instead.
Okita Alter:
Worry not. I can indeed fire lasers from my sword.
Okita Alter:
You may be strong, Izo, but if you can't fire lasers, you probably won't be much help here.
Okada Izo:
What would you know!?
I don't need lasers to cut my opponents in half!
Okada Izo:
Hey, Ryouma! If you're gonna bring her along,
you'd better bring me, too!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Fine with me. Having your totally unparalleled skills with us would be a huge weight off my shoulders.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Looks like it's settled now, Da Vinci.
You can send me, Izo, and Okita Alter in there.
Okada Izo:
Wait. Did you... Oh, forget it!
Da Vinci:
Then what're we waiting for? I'll set the Rayshift coordinates for this Singularity and send you right now!
Da Vinci:
Oh, and don't forget these tracking devices I made just in case something like this inevitably happened!
Okada Izo:
W-wait! This is all happening way too fast!
Besides, I don't like this Rayshifting nonsense!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Come on, it'll be fine.
I'll even buy you a drink after we get back.
Okita Alter:
This Majin is all ready to go.
I have my lunch box and everything.
Da Vinci:
Then let's get this Rayshift started!
Okada Izo:
I said waaaaaaiiit!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
...then I found this in their room.
Da Vinci:
Hmm. Given everything you've told me...
Da Vinci:
...it seems pretty clear that this is responsible for their disappearance.
Sion:
Well that is just great. This is exactly why they say curiosity killed the cat.
Sion:
And after the trouble I went through to seal this away in the storage room, too...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
What is this thing, anyway?
It's obviously not an ordinary box.
Sion:
This is a generic version of a certain Atlas alchemist's device for conducting thought experiments.
Sion:
It's official name is “Logos Reenactor Generic.”
Sion:
Once you input your desired conditions, it simulates a limited observable environment in which to conduct the thought experiment virtually.
Sion:
...albeit one that is essentially indistinguishable from reality.
Sion:
Actually, when you consider that you can set its parameters however you like, you could say it creates real experiences through a dreamlike state?
Da Vinci:
Wow! So even on a limited scale, could you use it to see how hypothetical versions of history would play out?
Sion:
Theoretically, yes.
Sion:
In practice, though, its inventor was unable to get the setting meant to smooth over the discrepancies between the simulation and reality working properly.
Sion:
So as more paradoxes, inconsistencies, and bugs in the created world pile up, its environments eventually become Singularities.
Da Vinci:
What!? Then it's basically a Singularity generator?
Da Vinci:
I thought the Atlas Institute was full of geniuses trying to save the world, not a bunch of dummies halfway to destroying it!
Sion:
...
Sion:
Well, as they say, hindsight is twenty-twenty!
Sion:
We could criticize the inventor all day, but that would not help us solve the problem we now face. Besides, those who test the boundaries of knowledge are bound to make mistakes. You and I are no exception.
Sion:
At any rate, what matters now is resolving the issue facing us now.
Sion:
Namely, the fact that an Atlas artifact meant to simulate alternate histories is now generating a Singularity!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
So what you're saying is, this box turned into a Singularity and sucked everyone else in?
Oryou:
So how do we bring them back?
Does Oryou just need to smash this thing?
Sion:
No, no, no smashing! Generic version or not,
it's still an Atlas artifact!
Sion:
Besides, there is no telling what could happen if we were to forcibly shut down its simulated world.
Sion:
I tried running the suspension spell in its emergency manual, but it gets deflected.
Sion:
That could mean there are some seriously dangerous bugs in the system.
Da Vinci:
So now it's giving us errors? Well that's just great.
Da Vinci:
Why were you even keeping something this dangerous in the storage room, anyway? It's not like you to be so lax about risk management.
Sion:
It may be dangerous, but it is also valuable to me.
Sion:
It is one of the few presents my father gave me for my birthday. He was never a particularly good gift-giver.
Da Vinci:
Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't know. All the more reason not to destroy it then. Okay, what else can we do?
Sion:
Good question.
This will take some time, but at this point...
Sion:
...our only option may be to have someone inside the simulation see it through to its end...
Sion:
...and essentially beat the game by containing the Singularity and returning its world to proper history.
Da Vinci:
Gotcha. In that case, we'll need to send some people inside and have them fulfill the objectives themselves...
Da Vinci:
...or find a way to get the message to the ones inside and have them do it.
Sion:
Unfortunately, interfering with the simulation too much could end up generating even more serious errors...
Sion:
...so realistically, I think sending in two, maybe three Servants is probably the best we can manage.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Okay, now I get it.
Then I guess me and Izo'll be the ones going in.
Okada Izo:
Whaaat!? Where the hell do you get off ropin' me into this, Ryouma!?
Okada Izo:
Why should I stick my neck out when there's no upside for me at all!?
Oryou:
Yeah, Ryouma, even a frog would be more helpful than him. You should choose someone stronger.
Oryou:
What about that lady eating udon in the cafeteria?
She seems tough.
Okada Izo:
What was that, Oryou!?
You saying I'm weaker than the udon lady!?
Oryou:
Uh, yeah. Have you not seen the scary guy with four swords she summons?
Oryou:
Besides, you know those shiny light thingies?
Laser beams or something like that...
Oryou:
You can't fire them from your sword.
Oryou:
Most of the other Sabers can fire them from their swords. Not you, though.
Okada Izo:
Don't be stupid! Swords aren't SUPPOSED to shoot freakin' laser beams!
Okita Alter:
In that case, I will go with you instead.
Okita Alter:
Worry not. I can indeed fire lasers from my sword.
Okita Alter:
You may be strong, Izo, but if you can't fire lasers, you probably won't be much help here.
Okada Izo:
What would you know!?
I don't need lasers to cut my opponents in half!
Okada Izo:
Hey, Ryouma! If you're gonna bring her along,
you'd better bring me, too!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Fine with me. Having your totally unparalleled skills with us would be a huge weight off my shoulders.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Looks like it's settled now, Da Vinci.
You can send me, Izo, and Okita Alter in there.
Okada Izo:
Wait. Did you... Oh, forget it!
Da Vinci:
Then what're we waiting for? I'll set the Rayshift coordinates for this Singularity and send you right now!
Da Vinci:
Oh, and don't forget these tracking devices I made just in case something like this inevitably happened!
Sion:
Okay then, here we go!
Okada Izo:
W-wait! This is all happening way too fast!
Besides, I don't like this Rayshifting nonsense!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Come on, it'll be fine.
I'll even buy you a drink after we get back.
Okita Alter:
This Majin is all ready to go.
I have my lunch box and everything.
Sion:
Then let us get this Rayshift started!
Okada Izo:
I said waaaaaaiiit!
Akechi Mitsuhide:
We've received word that the Lady Nobunaga from Echigo has been taking over nearby regions, my liege.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Well, well... And here I thought my Echigo self would be the first to fall.
Demon King Nobunaga:
It seems I truly am strongest when my back is against the wall.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
What would you have us do?
Demon King Nobunaga:
Good question... Are you there, Gonroku?
Shibata Katsuie:
Charge... Advance...!
Shibata Katsuie:
H-Hideyoshiiiiii!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Calm yourself, Gonroku. Monkey is not here.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Go and perform a bit of reconnaissance. While you do,
see for yourself what that other me is capable of.
Shibata Katsuie:
Charge... Advance...!
Shibata Katsuie:
M-my liege!?
Shibata Katsuie:
V-very well... I will see it done!
Akechi Mitsuhide:
...Are you sure about this, my liege? Once Lord Shibata goes berserk, there may not be much left to observe.
Demon King Nobunaga:
If Gonroku should end up squashing them, then so be it. It will just mean they were never worth my time to begin with.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Hehe... You know, Mitsuhide, if you ever wish to kill me in my sleep, you're free to try at any time.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
...Surely you jest, my liege.
I am but your faithful servant, now and forever.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Fuhahahaha! Does that mean not even you would dare try to kill me twice?
Akechi Mitsuhide:
...
Demon King Nobunaga:
Relax, I was merely joking. Now then, tell me how things are progressing up north, in Oumi?
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Yes, my liege. I'm afraid the entire land is surrounded by a barrier of golden magical energy...
Akechi Mitsuhide:
...making it impossible to invade.
Demon King Nobunaga:
A barrier of golden magical energy?
Akechi Mitsuhide:
My liege?
Demon King Nobunaga:
It's nothing. Continue your investigation.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
As you wish!
Demon King Nobunaga:
So, this is where the true battle for survival in the Warring States begins...
Demon King Nobunaga:
I wonder which of us will be the one to destroy the world... I can't wait to see what happens next!
Part Two, Section One: Launch! March, Chaldea Clan!
Torachiyo:
Ahahahaha! Are you all right, Brother?
I only tapped you!
Douichimaru:
F-Father! I can't take it anymore!
I don't want to be Torachiyo's opponent!
Torachiyo:
Come on, Brother, don't be like that.
Let's keep sparring!
Nagao Tamekage:
...That's enough. Stand back, Douichimaru.
Douichimaru:
...O-okay.
Torachiyo:
Look, Father! Did you see how well I did?
Nagao Tamekage:
Go away, Torachiyo! I don't even want to look at you!
Nagao Tamekage:
How could you make a laughingstock of your brother like that!?
Aya:
That's not fair, Father!
Aya:
Torachiyo was only sparring with Douichimaru because you told her to!
Nagao Tamekage:
Silence, Aya! Just look at her eyes!
Those are the eyes of a monster, not a person!
Torachiyo:
Ahahahaha! Don't be silly, Father! I'm not a monster!
Nagao Tamekage:
Eep! There, you see!
That's exactly what I'm talking about!
Nagao Tamekage:
No matter how hard you hit her, she just keeps smiling! It's not right!
Nagao Tamekage:
That does it! I'm sending you away to a temple!
I never want to see you again!
Torachiyo:
Why is Father so upset, Sister?
Torachiyo:
Sparring is no fun unless Brother comes at me more seriously!
Aya:
Oh Torachiyo... You poor thing...
Aya:
You don't even know why Father and Brother are so scared of you, do you...
Torachiyo:
Ahahahaha! No, I don't. Why ARE they scared of me?
Aya:
...Oh Buddha, why was Torachiyo given such godlike strength?
Aya:
She'll never be able to understand how ordinary people feel now...
Torachiyo:
Ahahahaha, what are you talking about, Sister?
I don't understand!
Aya:
...Poor Torachiyo.
Aya:
All other people must seem weak and insignificant to you.
Aya:
...Listen to me, Torachiyo.
Aya:
If you want to live among others, you need to worship the Buddha and spend your life practicing the five virtues.
Aya:
It's okay if you don't understand them, but you need to learn what they mean to the people around you.
Torachiyo:
Okay, Sister! I'll make sure I practice the five virtues every day!
Torachiyo:
I promise!
Chief Retainer Mash:
All right, if everyone's ready, I'd like to begin today's war council.
Mori Nagayoshi:
You bet! So where're we attacking next?
Chief Retainer Mash:
So far, the Chaldea clan has seized control of the entire Kanto area, as well as Kai, Echizen, and Etchu...
Chief Retainer Mash:
...and is now neighbors with Suruga, Mino, and Oumi.
Chief Retainer Mash:
So I expect our next target will be one of those three provinces.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
I don't think Summer Nobunaga–who's running Suruga–will give us too much trouble.
Nagao Kagetora:
Then what about Real-Deal Nobunaga in Owari?
Nagao Kagetora:
Putting aside whatever's supposed to make him the real deal, maybe we should start there?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Azai...I mean, Nagamasa of Oumi's dead? Damn, now I'll never get to pay him back for killing my old man.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Nagamasa, huh...
Chief Retainer Mash:
Well, according to the Mini Nobus we sent to Oumi to run reconnaissance...
Chief Retainer Mash:
...it's been surrounded by a magical energy barrier,
so we still don't know what things are like there.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
A magical energy barrier, huh... Wait. Reconnaissance? They can do that?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Oh yes. We got all the Mini Nobu espionage specialists together...
Chief Retainer Mash:
...and had them form a Mini Nobu Ninja Army.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Now that I think of it, they were really good when I had them go on that inspection before.
Infantrywoman Okita:
They made for surprisingly good Shinsengumi soldiers, too.
Infantrywoman Okita:
Maybe we don't even need the full-size Nobbu anymore.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
So those things are better than me, even though I made 'em? This one of those “student becomes the master” deals?
Nagao Kagetora:
Now I see. So they're like the ninja we used to employ.
Nagao Kagetora:
Since nobody would ever suspect they could possibly be ninja, they might actually be perfect for the job.
Chief Retainer Mash:
For the time being, I'll have the Mini Nobu Ninja Army continue to monitor Oumi.
Oda Kippoushi:
In that case, why don't we split our army into three battalions? You've got plenty of supplies, right?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Yes, we do! Since we found all that gold at Sado and built a mine, we've got resources to spare!
Nagao Kagetora:
Huh? You mean there really was gold there?
Fujimaru 1:
I knew it...
Mori Nagayoshi:
A gold mine! That's great, Master!
Mori Nagayoshi:
So hey, now that you're all flush, there's this tea set I've had my eye on for a while...
Nagao Kagetora:
Hey, don't pester Master for money.
Fujimaru 2:
I almost feel bad about exploiting it this soon...
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Ah, don't worry about it. Someone was bound to find it eventually, so it might as well be us.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Wahahahaha, this is great!
It's like using a cheat code!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Anyway, at this point, I do think the Chaldea clan could afford to split its forces three ways without any major drawbacks!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
I think I'll go for Owari then, seeing as it's my home turf and all.
Oda Kippoushi:
In that case, I'd like to handle Suruga.
I've been wondering how things turned out there.
Li Shuwen:
I'll go with you.
Hijikata Toshizo:
I guess that means we'll be taking Oumi.
Infantrywoman Okita:
So it would seem. I'll just have to pull off a spectacular victory to make up for my late start!
Infantrywoman Okita:
Say, how come Mr. Hijikata isn't in the infantry like the rest of us?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Hijikata was never our enemy, so I had him start his career with us as a general.
Infantrywoman Okita:
Did the Warring States really need MORE inequality!?
Nagao Kagetora:
Then I'll command the main force under Fujimaru's direction.
Nagao Kagetora:
All you have to do is choose where you'd like us to attack.
Mori Nagayoshi:
I don't care about any of that boring army stuff either, so I'll stick with you too, Master! 'Sides, I bet I can climb the ranks even faster that way!
Fujimaru 1:
Okay then, let's all give it our best out there!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Right! We're counting on every one of you to help the Chaldea clan succeed!
Fujimaru 2:
Here's to bringing the whole country together!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahaha! So you're gonna get there before Lord Toyotomi, huh, Master!? Sounds great! I'll kill anyone who gets in your way!
Nagao Kagetora:
All right, everyone, stay sharp!
Chaldea Clan Retainers:
Yeah!
Part Two, Section Two: Attack! Kakare Shibata!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai! We've received word that someone is invading Chaldea clan territory as we speak!
Nagao Kagetora:
And just when we've split our army in three, too... They might have been waiting for this chance to attack our base.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Who cares? It won't matter once they're dead!
C'mon, Master, let's go kill 'em!
Nagao Kagetora:
Hmm, I guess that's true... So how big of an invading army are we talking about, Mash?
Chief Retainer Mash:
W-well, uh, according to the report,
it's just one person...
Shibata Katsuie:
Charge... Advance...!
E：Chaldea Infantry:
Wh-what the!? Our bullets aren't even slowing him down!
F：Chaldea Infantry:
Our arrows aren't doing anything, either!
How the hell is this happening!?
Nagao Kagetora:
Stand back, everyone! We'll take it from here!
Chief Retainer Mash:
This way, infantry!
Chaldea Infantry:
R-right!
Nagao Kagetora:
So that's the enemy's general...
Nagao Kagetora:
Oh? That armor looks kind of familiar...
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hm? Isn't that...
Fujimaru 1:
You know this person?
Fujimaru 2:
It's really only one guy!?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hey, it's Shibata! I thought I recognized you, old man!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! I thought Lord Toyotomi had you executed, but I bump into you here of all places! How you been, man!?
Nagao Kagetora:
Shibata Katsuie of the Oda clan...
I haven't seen you since Tedorigawa...
Shibata Katsuie:
Fight... Fight...!
Nagao Kagetora:
At any rate, we can't let you go any further.
This is the end of the line for you!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Sorry 'bout this, Shibata!
Get ready, 'cause here I come!!!
--BATTLE--
Nagao Kagetora:
...Got you! It's over!
Shibata Katsuie:
...
Mori Nagayoshi:
Man, 'bout time he stopped... Guess we should've known old man Shibata wouldn't go down easy.
Mori Nagayoshi:
I remember he was always real fired up back when we were serving the Oda clan.
Nagao Kagetora:
It looked to me like he was getting stronger with every step he took. I wonder if that's part of a Noble Phantasm.
Shibata Katsuie:
...rge ...nce...
Shibata Katsuie:
...CHARGE!
Fujimaru 1:
This isn't over yet!
Nagao Kagetora:
Huh!? But I was sure I'd brought him down.
Nagao Kagetora:
Don't tell me he came back to life!?
Fujimaru 2:
Did he just start moving again!?
Mori Nagayoshi:
What the hell!? His arms and legs were practically coming off! There's such a thing as being too fired up, old man!
Chief Retainer Mash:
I think he's gotten bigger, too!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Ah! Now he's walking again!
Nagao Kagetora:
Either way, we can't let him go any further. If I have to use my Noble Phantasm to stop him, then that's what I'll–
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Actually, I think we should let him keep going.
Nagao Kagetora:
Huh!? Who are you?
Oryou:
You don't know who Ryouma and Oryou are? You been living under a rock your whole manifestation or something?
Fujimaru 1:
Sakamoto!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Hey there. Glad we found you in time.
Fujimaru 2:
Oryou! You're here, too!
Oryou:
Speak of Oryou, and Oryou shall appear.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Who the hell are you guys!?
Don't you go acting all chummy with my Master!
Oryou:
That's funny, Oryou was just going to say that to you, you snot-nosed brat.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
We'll fill you in later.
For the moment, would you all mind stepping back?
Nagao Kagetora:
You appear to have some sort of plan...
What do you think, Fujimaru?
Fujimaru 1:
Let's see where he's going with this.
Fujimaru 2:
Let's do what he says. I trust him.
Chief Retainer Mash:
I agree! Sakamoto is one of our allies from Chaldea!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Tch. All right, if that's what the Master wants.
But you'd better remember this, snake woman.
Oryou:
Don't worry, snot-nosed brat.
Oryou has an excellent memory.
Nagao Kagetora:
All right, now that we've all given him some space,
can you tell us how you plan to defeat him?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Huh? Who said anything about a plan?
Nagao Kagetora:
Excuse me?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
He's got a Noble Phantasm that keeps making him stronger, right? Logically speaking, there's nothing we can possibly do against that.
Mori Nagayoshi:
The hell? Hey Master, mind if I chop off his head?
Thanks! Happy to!
Oryou:
You've got nerve going after Ryouma, brat. Don't make Oryou angry. You wouldn't like Oryou when Oryou's angry.
Mori Nagayoshi:
There's no way I'm letting someone deceive Master and live! You wanna die first, snake woman!? Fine by me!
Chief Retainer Mash:
W-wait, Mori, please! Are you sure you don't have anything in mind to defeat him, Sakamoto?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
No, I don't. Not to defeat him, anyway.
Nagao Kagetora:
So you do have something in mind.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
First, let's just take a step back and think about this.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
It seems pretty clear that he's growing stronger with every step he takes.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
In other words, he must be using a Noble Phantasm that makes that happen, which is entirely possible.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
His extraordinary healing seems entirely possible too, as there's Servants capable of similar feats in Chaldea.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
However, we also know that neither ability can last forever.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Right. It takes an enormous amount of magical energy to make those happ–Oh!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Exactly. I'm guessing his abilities must only cover so much distance.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Even an NP that increases its user's power the further the user gets from its activation point has to have a limit.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
In other words, this NP can't make its user any stronger once they leave its range.
Nagao Kagetora:
Now I see. True, it would have to churn through magical energy at an alarming rate to boost the user's power that much.
Nagao Kagetora:
I'm impressed you figured all that out so quickly.
You must be quite experienced with fighting Servants.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
No, I'm just a big chicken.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
You have to be to go up against great heroes like yourselves.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Anyway, given that this guy doesn't seem to be doing much in the way of thinking, I'm guessing he's a Berserker, which is a magical energy-intensive class to begin with.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
If I'm right about that, it's all the more reason he'll hit his limit sooner or later.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Otherwise, there'd be nothing stopping him from laying waste to the entire province.
Shibata Katsuie:
Charge! Advance! CHAAAARGE!
Mori Nagayoshi:
That's a nice theory and all, but the old man there doesn't look like he's gonna slow down anytime soon.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
...W-well that's weird.
I was sure he'd be running out of juice by now...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
I guess he's got more than I thought.
Oryou:
Hmm. Even Oryou might have a hard time now that he's this strong.
Nagao Kagetora:
How can you be so cavalier about this!?
Nagao Kagetora:
If I'd known this would happen, I'd have used my Noble Phantasm on him while I had the chance!
Shibata Katsuie:
...ADVAAANCE!!!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai! Get behind me!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Get away from my Master, old man!
Shibata Katsuie:
GRRRAAAAAAHHH!!!
Chief Retainer Mash:
...Did he just d-disappear?
Nagao Kagetora:
...So it would seem.
Fujimaru 1:
That was too close...
Fujimaru 2:
Sakamoto?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
...See? What'd I tell you?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Yeah, I'm definitely killing him.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Now that things have settled down, let me introduce myself more properly. I'm Sakamoto Ryouma, Servant of Chaldea.
Oryou:
And Oryou is Ryouma's beautiful high-powered secretary, in multiple senses.
Oryou:
If you want to challenge Oryou again,
brat, you can try anytime.
Mori Nagayoshi:
You'd better shut your mouth now if you know what's good for you, snake woman!
Fujimaru 1:
Easy there, Mori. Just calm down, okay?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Ah, whatever. I don't even care what an ugly snake woman like her has to say!
Fujimaru 2:
Please stop riling him up, Oryou.
Oryou:
Sorry about that.
It's hard to resist without Izo around.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Now, now, no fighting, you two.
I still have to explain what's going on here.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
We came to this world–this Singularity,
after Fujimaru and the others.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Our goal is to save them, and to resolve–or rather, shut down this Singularity.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Basically, that box you found in the storeroom turned out to be a highly advanced simulator.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
And after you turned it on, it ended up creating this weird Singularity by mistake.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
According to Da Vinci,
if we can complete this simulation...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
According to Sion,
if we can complete this simulation...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
That is, if someone can see this simulation through to its intended conclusion, then the Singularity should go away, and history should return to its correct course.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
You guys must've noticed something was strange about this place too, right?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
I can't see any other reason why you'd be trying to unify the whole country.
Chief Retainer Mash:
...
Fujimaru 1:
Well, yeah, I figured it was probably something like that.
Fujimaru 2:
I, uh...can't say I really thought it through that far...
Nagao Kagetora:
Now I see. Most of that went right over my head, but I understand that you're here from Chaldea to save Fujimaru.
Nagao Kagetora:
Does that mean this is where we part ways?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
I'm afraid it's not that simple.
See, I've been poking around since I got here...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
...and I learned that, while it's fairly easy to get into this Singularity, getting out is another matter entirely.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Basically, none of us will be going anywhere until I've filled in a few more pieces of the puzzle.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Especially since Oryou and I got separated from Izo and Okita Alter.
Chief Retainer Mash:
So Izo and Okita Alter are both here too!?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
That's right. It looks like our coordinates got scrambled when we Rayshifted here...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
But, I'm sure they'll be fine.
They can definitely handle themselves, after all.
Fujimaru 1:
I hope Alter's okay...
Chief Retainer Mash:
True, she can be a little spacey at times...
Fujimaru 2:
I'm a little worried about Izo.
Oryou:
Yeah, Izo's pretty gullible. Oryou wouldn't be surprised if he ended up dying in the wilderness somewhere.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Anyway, getting back on track...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
I'm guessing that Berserker's range only extends from his base to this province's border.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Once he exceeds that range, he probably has to return to the base that supplies magical energy and start over.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
He's absurdly strong for sure,
but luckily, there's only one of him.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
And since he can't move all that fast, we shouldn't have to worry about him attacking frequently.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
So I say we take advantage of this time to gather information and figure out a more definitive resolution.
Fujimaru 1:
Like what?
Nagao Kagetora:
So perhaps cutting off his magical energy supply at its source? Or finding and killing his Master?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
That would certainly work, assuming he has a Master.
Fujimaru 2:
So like, destroying his base or something?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
If we can find out where his base is,
that would certainly be an option.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
As far as I can tell, this is the farthest east he's ever appeared, so I'd guess his base is somewhere in the Kinki region.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Then it looks like you're part of the Chaldea clan now too, Sakamoto!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Tell me, what kind of position would you like?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Oh, thanks, but no thanks. I'm going to stick to just working with Oryou for the time being.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
I'm not really cut out for serving a clan, and besides, there's still a few things I want to look into.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Of course, I'll be happy to help out however I can, and I'll be sure to let you know as soon as I learn something new.
Mori Nagayoshi:
I still don't trust you guys one bit.
Mori Nagayoshi:
There's something fishy about you.
You remind me of Lord Toyotomi somehow.
Fujimaru 1:
Sakamoto's a skilled detective, so don't worry.
Fujimaru 2:
It's okay, Mori. Sakamoto's a good guy. I promise.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Well, if you say so, Master,
I'll take your word for it.
Nagao Kagetora:
Right, let's figure out how we're going to tackle the other regions, including what to do about Shibata.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Sounds good. Once again, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintances.
Oryou:
Just you wait. Oryou's gonna come out on top of all the Warring States.
Okada Izo:
Ryouma? Oryou?
Is anyone there?
Okada Izo:
Hey! Somebody answer me!
Okada Izo:
You better not have ditched me out here, Ryouma...
Okada Izo:
Ryoumaaaaaa!!!
Okita Alter:
Hmm, I guess I got separated from the others...
Now what do I do?
Okita Alter:
...
Okita Alter:
I don't even know where I am,
or where I should try to go.
Okita Alter:
...
Okita Alter:
...For now, I think I'll just sit down and have the lunch I packed.
Okita Alter:
Yeah, I'm calling it now. It's lunchtime.
--SECTION BREAK--
Mori Nagayoshi:
The hell!? My Ningen Mukotsu's not doing a damn thing to him! What's going on here!?
Nagao Kagetora:
I don't think it isn't working on him so much as he just isn't paying it any attention.
Fujimaru 1:
He's still headed this way!
Fujimaru 2:
Maybe it's some kind of Noble Phantasm?
Chief Retainer Mash:
The enemy shows no sign of stopping whatsoever! He keeps making his way here slowly, one step at a time!
Nagao Kagetora:
...One step at a time? Could it be that he's growing stronger with every step?
Shibata Katsuie:
...Charge! Advance!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahaha! I think he's even growing with each step, too! This is looking real bad! Now what do we do, Master!?
Nagao Kagetora:
We can't let him go any further. If I have to use my Noble Phantasm to stop him, then that's what I'll–
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Actually, I think we should let him keep going.
Nagao Kagetora:
Huh!? Who are you?
Oryou:
You don't know who Ryouma and Oryou are? Have you been living under a rock your whole manifestation or something?
Fujimaru 1:
Sakamoto!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Hey there. Glad we found you in time.
Fujimaru 2:
Oryou! You're here, too!
Oryou:
Speak of Oryou, and Oryou shall appear.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Who the hell are you guys!?
Don't you go acting all chummy with my Master!
Oryou:
That's funny, Oryou was just going to say that to you, you snot-nosed brat.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
We'll fill you in later.
For the moment, would you all mind stepping back?
Nagao Kagetora:
You appear to have some sort of plan...
What do you think, Fujimaru?
Fujimaru 1:
Let's see where he's going with this.
Fujimaru 2:
Let's do what he says. I trust him.
Chief Retainer Mash:
I agree! Sakamoto is one of our allies from Chaldea!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Tch. All right, if that's what the Master wants.
But you'd better remember this, snake woman.
Oryou:
Don't worry, snot-nosed brat.
Oryou has an excellent memory.
Nagao Kagetora:
All right, now that we've all given him some space,
can you tell us how you plan to defeat him?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Huh? Who said anything about a plan?
Nagao Kagetora:
Excuse me?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
He's got a Noble Phantasm that keeps making him stronger, right? Logically speaking, there's nothing we can possibly do against that.
Mori Nagayoshi:
The hell? Hey Master, mind if I chop off his head?
Thanks! Happy to!
Oryou:
You've got nerve going after Ryouma, brat. Don't make Oryou angry. You wouldn't like Oryou when Oryou's angry.
Mori Nagayoshi:
There's no way I'm letting someone deceive Master and live! You wanna die first, snake woman!? Fine by me!
Chief Retainer Mash:
W-wait, Mori, please! Are you sure you don't have anything in mind to defeat him, Sakamoto?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
No, I don't. Not to defeat him, anyway.
Nagao Kagetora:
So you do have something in mind.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
First, let's just take a step back and think about this.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
It seems pretty clear that he's growing stronger with every step he takes.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
In other words, he must be using a Noble Phantasm that makes that happen, which is entirely possible.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
His extraordinary healing seems entirely possible too, as there's Servants capable of similar feats in Chaldea.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
However, we also know that neither ability can last forever.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Right. It takes an enormous amount of magical energy to make those happ–Oh!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Exactly. I'm guessing his abilities must only cover so much distance.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Even an NP that increases its user's power the further the user gets from its activation point has to have a limit.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
In other words, this NP can't make its user any stronger once they leave its range.
Nagao Kagetora:
Now I see. True, it would have to churn through magical energy at an alarming rate to boost the user's power that much.
Nagao Kagetora:
I'm impressed you figured all that out so quickly.
You must be quite experienced with fighting Servants.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
No, I'm just a big chicken.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
You have to be to go up against great heroes like yourselves.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Anyway, given that this guy doesn't seem to be doing much in the way of thinking, I'm guessing he's a Berserker, which is a magical energy-intensive class to begin with.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
If I'm right about that, it's all the more reason he'll hit his limit sooner or later.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Otherwise, there'd be nothing stopping him from laying waste to the entire province.
Shibata Katsuie:
Charge! Advance! CHAAAARGE!
Mori Nagayoshi:
That's a nice theory and all, but the old man there doesn't look like he's gonna slow down anytime soon.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
...W-well that's weird.
I was sure he'd be running out of juice by now...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
I guess he's got more than I thought.
Oryou:
Hmm. Even Oryou might have a hard time now that he's this strong.
Nagao Kagetora:
How can you be so cavalier about this!?
Nagao Kagetora:
If I'd known this would happen, I'd have used my Noble Phantasm on him while I had the chance!
Shibata Katsuie:
...ADVAAANCE!!!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai! Get behind me!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Get away from my Master, old man!
Shibata Katsuie:
GRRRAAAAAAHHH!!!
Chief Retainer Mash:
...Did he just d-disappear?
Nagao Kagetora:
...So it would seem.
Fujimaru 1:
That was too close...
Fujimaru 2:
Sakamoto?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
...See? What'd I tell you?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Yeah, I'm definitely killing him.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Now that things have settled down, let me introduce myself more properly. I'm Sakamoto Ryouma, Servant of Chaldea.
Oryou:
And Oryou is Ryouma's beautiful high-powered secretary, in multiple senses.
Oryou:
If you want to challenge Oryou again,
brat, you can try anytime.
Mori Nagayoshi:
You'd better shut your mouth now if you know what's good for you, snake woman!
Fujimaru 1:
Easy there, Mori. Just calm down, okay?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Ah, whatever. I don't even care what an ugly snake woman like her has to say!
Fujimaru 2:
Please stop riling him up, Oryou.
Oryou:
Sorry about that.
It's hard to resist without Izo around.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Now, now, no fighting, you two.
I still have to explain what's going on here.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
We came to this world–this Singularity,
after Fujimaru and the others.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Our goal is to save them, and to resolve–or rather, shut down this Singularity.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Basically, that box you found in the storeroom turned out to be a highly advanced simulator.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
And after you turned it on, it ended up creating this weird Singularity by mistake.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
According to Da Vinci,
if we can complete this simulation...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
According to Sion,
if we can complete this simulation...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
That is, if someone can see this simulation through to its intended conclusion, then the Singularity should go away, and history should return to its correct course.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
You guys must've noticed something was strange about this place too, right?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
I can't see any other reason why you'd be trying to unify the whole country.
Chief Retainer Mash:
...
Fujimaru 1:
Well, yeah, I figured it was probably something like that.
Fujimaru 2:
I, uh...can't say I really thought it through that far...
Nagao Kagetora:
Now I see. Most of that went right over my head, but I understand that you're here from Chaldea to save Fujimaru.
Nagao Kagetora:
Does that mean this is where we part ways?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
I'm afraid it's not that simple.
See, I've been poking around since I got here...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
...and I learned that, while it's fairly easy to get into this Singularity, getting out is another matter entirely.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Basically, none of us will be going anywhere until I've filled in a few more pieces of the puzzle.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Especially since Oryou and I got separated from Izo and Okita Alter.
Chief Retainer Mash:
So Izo and Okita Alter are both here too!?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
That's right. It looks like our coordinates got scrambled when we Rayshifted here...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
But, I'm sure they'll be fine.
They can definitely handle themselves, after all.
Fujimaru 1:
I hope Alter's okay...
Chief Retainer Mash:
True, she can be a little spacey at times...
Fujimaru 2:
I'm a little worried about Izo.
Oryou:
Yeah, Izo's pretty gullible. Oryou wouldn't be surprised if he ended up dying in the wilderness somewhere.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Anyway, getting back on track...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
I'm guessing that Berserker's range only extends from his base to this province's border.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Once he exceeds that range, he probably has to return to the base that supplies magical energy and start over.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
He's absurdly strong for sure,
but luckily, there's only one of him.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
And since he can't move all that fast, we shouldn't have to worry about him attacking frequently.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
So I say we take advantage of this time to gather information and figure out a more definitive resolution.
Fujimaru 1:
Like what?
Nagao Kagetora:
So perhaps cutting off his magical energy supply at its source? Or finding and killing his Master?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
That would certainly work, assuming he has a Master.
Fujimaru 2:
So like, destroying his base or something?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
If we can find out where his base is,
that would certainly be an option.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
As far as I can tell, this is the farthest east he's ever appeared, so I'd guess his base is somewhere in the Kinki region.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Then it looks like you're part of the Chaldea clan now too, Sakamoto!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Tell me, what kind of position would you like?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Oh, thanks, but no thanks. I'm going to stick to just working with Oryou for the time being.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
I'm not really cut out for serving a clan, and besides, there's still a few things I want to look into.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Of course, I'll be happy to help out however I can, and I'll be sure to let you know as soon as I learn something new.
Mori Nagayoshi:
I still don't trust you guys one bit.
Mori Nagayoshi:
There's something fishy about you.
You remind me of Lord Toyotomi somehow.
Fujimaru 1:
Sakamoto's a skilled detective, so don't worry.
Fujimaru 2:
It's okay, Mori. Sakamoto's a good guy. I promise.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Well, if you say so, Master,
I'll take your word for it.
Nagao Kagetora:
Right, let's figure out how we're going to tackle the other regions, including what to do about Shibata.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Sounds good. Once again, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintances.
Oryou:
Just you wait. Oryou's gonna come out on top of all the Warring States.
Okada Izo:
Ryouma? Oryou?
Is anyone there?
Okada Izo:
Hey! Somebody answer me!
Okada Izo:
You better not have ditched me out here, Ryouma...
Okada Izo:
Ryoumaaaaaa!!!
Okita Alter:
Hmm, I guess I got separated from the others...
Now what do I do?
Okita Alter:
...
Okita Alter:
I don't even know where I am,
or where I should try to go.
Okita Alter:
...
Okita Alter:
...For now, I think I'll just sit down and have the lunch I packed.
Okita Alter:
Yeah, I'm calling it now. It's lunchtime.
Barricade! The Golden Magical Energy Obstacle!
Nagao Kagetora:
Is this the golden wall you were telling us about?
Hijikata Toshizo:
Sure is. The damn thing runs along the whole border,
and there's no getting past it.
Hijikata Toshizo:
The Mini Nobu Ninja Army's been focusing on looking into it...
Hijikata Toshizo:
...but so far, they haven't turned up anything.
Infantrywoman Okita:
I've never seen a wall like this.
How'd it get here?
Chief Retainer Mash:
All I can tell you is that it seems to be some sort of barrier made from magical energy.
Chief Retainer Mash:
However it got here, we'll have to do something about it before we can invade Oumi.
Fujimaru 1:
So what do we do now?
Fujimaru 2:
So, we just fall back for now?
Hijikata Toshizo:
Okita and I'll see if we can't figure something out. The rest of you can do something about the other provinces.
Infantrywoman Okita:
Investigating stuff like this isn't exactly my strong suit...
Infantrywoman Okita:
If only Mr. Yamazaki were here...
Nagao Kagetora:
Then for the time being, we'll focus our efforts on the other provinces. Let us know if you find anything.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Will do. See you.
Infantrywoman Okita:
Oh, the next time you come here,
do you think you could bring something sweet?
Infantrywoman Okita:
The only rations we've got are chilled pickles,
and I'm already sick of them...
Hijikata Toshizo:
Hmph. Who cares what you eat?
It's all just fuel to keep you going.
Infantrywoman Okita:
You're the one who's always throwing fits whenever we run out of pickles!
Chief Retainer Mash:
I understand. Sweets are one of life's great gifts.
I'll bring some sweet rice cakes next time we come!
Chief Retainer Mash:
(At least, I hope I can. Sugar was a lot more valuable during this period, after all...)
Resurgence! Azai Family's Ambition!
Nagao Kagetora:
Is it true that the wall in question is gone now?
Infantrywoman Okita:
Yes. We're still not sure why,
but it just sort of...disappeared.
Hijikata Toshizo:
We didn't even touch it.
Mori Nagayoshi:
This means we can invade Oumi now, right?
That's all that matters!
Infantrywoman Okita:
True. At last, I'll prove that the Shinsengumi is a force to be reckoned with even in the Warring States period!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Oh? You really think your little wannabe man-slayer club is gonna be much help here?
Fujimaru 1:
Okay then, let's get our invasion of Oumi started!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Sounds good.
Not every day you get an opportunity like this.
Fujimaru 2:
I still want to know what that wall was, honestly.
Nagao Kagetora:
Unfortunately, now that it's gone, there's no way I can see for us to find out.
Infantrywoman Okita:
All right, let's move out!
Infantrywoman Okita:
Oh, by the way, did you bring any sweets like I asked?
Chief Retainer Mash:
I did! I pulled every string I could as Chief Retainer to have the cooks make a dessert division!
Chief Retainer Mash:
I'm afraid they couldn't make ohagi rice cakes, as they were fresh out of azuki beans, so instead, I brought some uirou-mochi from Owari.
Infantrywoman Okita:
Yesss!!!
Infantrywoman Okita:
I've had so many pickles lately that everything's started to look yellow...
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hang on. Did they even have uirou-mochi in this period?
Mori Nagayoshi:
They must've, since we've got some now.
Mori Nagayoshi:
'Sides, if we can exist in a time we didn't actually live, why can't uirou?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Huh. Every now and then, you say something clever.
???:
Mwaaa haaa haaa haaa! That's right!
The Azai clan are the rightful rulers of Oumi!
???:
And Chacha is their super tragic heroine princess daimyo, Azai Chacha!
Azai Chacha:
Huh? Does that title sound kinda sad? No?
Azai Chacha:
Well, no matter. It was rough going when Chacha first ended up in this weird land, but luckily...
Azai Chacha:
...Chacha was saved when Chacha found His Imperial Highness's castle, even if it was in the wrong place.
Azai Chacha:
Not only that, this is the Fortress of the Sun,
the most fortified building in all of Japan!
Azai Chacha:
All Chacha has to do is put up a barrier here and wait for the other provinces' idiot daimyo to take each other out.
Azai Chacha:
So this is why they say good things come to those who wait!
H：Azai Clan Infantryman:
Don't they also say the Buddha helps those who help themselves?
Azai Chacha:
Bah, don't worry about that!
Azai Chacha:
Now hurry up and bring Chacha today's snack!
H：Azai Clan Infantryman:
Of course. Here you are, my lady. Uirou from Owari.
Azai Chacha:
Oh? Chacha doesn't remember uirou existing in this time... Oh well, who cares as long as it's yummy!
Azai Chacha:
Hehehe, Chacha can see it all now... Chacha will stay here in the lap of luxury, and then, when the other daimyo are all exhausted... Bam! Chacha swoops in and takes everything!
Azai Chacha:
This plan is so clever it almost scares Chacha!
Azai Chacha:
Huh? What's all the commotion?
H：Azai Clan Infantryman:
Well, my lady, it seems that the barrier of magical energy protecting the castle has, um, disappeared...
H：Azai Clan Infantryman:
...and now we're under attack by a highly skilled army.
Azai Chacha:
Huh? Seriously? How did this happen?
H：Azai Clan Infantryman:
It seems that your life of luxury and indulgence exhausted the castle's Magical Reactor, Lady Chacha.
Azai Chacha:
Crap! Chacha forgot all about how the Magical Reactor can't be replenished without His Imperial Highness!
H：Azai Clan Infantryman:
Now, the castle's defenses are practically nonexistent...
H：Azai Clan Infantryman:
...and the Echigo something or other Army is wasting no time taking advantage of that to attack us.
Azai Chacha:
Dammit! Chacha should have remembered that nothing good ever happens to Chacha in castles!
Azai Chacha:
N-now what should Chacha do? Put up a barricade and wait this out...? No, Chacha's never had anything good come from hiding either!
Azai Chacha:
At this point, Chacha may have no choice but to meet the enemy head-on! Come on, everyone! To battle!!!
Azai Clan Infantryman:
Yeeeah!
Azai Chacha:
...Say, Chacha doesn't suppose that Sanada's son, or one of Lord Toyotomi's loyal retainers, or anyone else was summoned to help Chacha in Chacha's time of need?
Azai Chacha:
Or maybe there's a Toyotomi pickup summon campaign happening right about now?
H：Azai Clan Infantryman:
I'm afraid there haven't been any announcements about anything like that...
Azai Chacha:
Right. Chacha just thought Chacha would ask.
Infantrywoman Okita:
Th-this is the castle from back then!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Oh yes! I'd recognize this gaudy oversized bauble anywhere!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! Huh? This is Lord Toyotomi's castle?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Did he always have such bad taste, or is this a new thing? I can't even remember!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Odd... This is much easier than it should be.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Are you sure that powerful Heroic Spirit you were talking about is here?
Nagao Kagetora:
I see your point. Given how the enemy can't make up their mind about whether to run to ground or fight back...
Nagao Kagetora:
...it's hard to imagine even a halfway decent general is running the show.
Azai Chacha:
Hold it right there, you scoundrels who dare threaten Chacha's domain!
Infantrywoman Okita:
Huh? Chacha, is that you?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
What do you think you're doing here, Chacha?
Azai Chacha:
Huh? Th-that voice... Auntie!?
Fujimaru 1:
I'm just glad you're okay.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Oh, hey, Lady Chacha! How've you been?
Is Lord Toyotomi here, too?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Sorry I went and died before you two!
Azai Chacha:
Well, if it isn't Nagayoshi of the Mori family. Are you still going around cutting down guards and such?
Fujimaru 2:
Chacha has some ties to Oumi, right?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
That's right. This land used to belong to her father, Azai Nagamasa. I never would've guessed she was the one who'd settled in here now...
Azai Chacha:
Exactly. This land originally belonged to Chacha's–
Azai Chacha:
Wait! That's not important right now!
Azai Chacha:
Chacha has been working Chacha's butt off to restore the Azai clan's glory!
Azai Chacha:
Are you aware that you're challenging Chacha of the Azai to battle here!? Chacha's especially looking at you, Auntie!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Huh? That got a bit heavier than I was expecting here...
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
I'm not quite sure what to say to that...
Azai Chacha:
Huh. Now that Chacha's said it out loud, it's only driving home the fact that Chacha's family is gone...
Azai Chacha:
Chacha would like to stop talking about Chacha's father now!
Infantrywoman Okita:
So she hurt herself by bringing up her family of her own accord? Now I almost feel bad for her...
Azai Chacha:
A-at any rate, Chacha's not going to rest until Chacha has unified this country and created a world where Chacha can live out her days surrounded by sweets!
Azai Chacha:
So if you're going to try and stop Chacha,
Chacha might just have to make you all disappear!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
There we go! That's more like it.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
You hear that, Fujimaru? Now we don't have to feel bad about wrecking this place!
Fujimaru 1:
Wait. I don't see why we have to fight–
Fujimaru 2:
Wait, whaaat?
Azai Chacha:
Now, prepare to die!
Azai Chacha:
This time, Chacha's seeing what would have happened if Chacha went on the offensive instead of holing up inside!
Azai Chacha:
If Chacha had made a move back then, the Tokugawa dynasty may have never even been a thing!
--BATTLE--
Azai Chacha:
Ch-Chacha lost...
Curse you, Tokugawa...
Infantrywoman Okita:
Well, I suppose Mr. Hijikata and I might technically be on the Tokugawa side, but still...
Azai Chacha:
Now Chacha's dreams of restoring the Azai clan to glory have been smashed to bits like cookie crumbs...
Azai Chacha:
...along with Chacha's hopes for Oumi...
Mori Nagayoshi:
So, what do you wanna do now, Master? Even I'd rather not cut Lady Chacha's head off if I don't have to.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Then again, this is war, isn't it! Stand still,
Lady Chacha. I'll make this quick and painless.
Fujimaru 1:
That's enough, Mori. It's over now.
Fujimaru 2:
Enough of that, Mori.
Mori Nagayoshi:
You sure? Lucky for you my Master's so generous, Lady Chacha!
Chacha:
Of course [♂ he /♀ she] is!
Chacha:
See, this is exactly Lord Toyotomi's problem with you.
Chacha:
No wonder he always dismissed you as just an Oni Musashi!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Sheesh. At least now, there's only one left.
Nagao Kagetora:
Indeed. The Demon King Nobunaga of Azuchi!
Chacha:
Chacha is none other than Azai Chacha, the rightful heir to the Azai dynasty! ...You don't care about that?
Oh.
Chacha:
Anyway, Chacha's feeling peckish right now,
so Chacha requests some sweet bean soup!
Chacha pledged her loyalty to you.
(You can now choose her as an NPC.)
Revolt! There's No Way My Older Sister Is A Man!
Lowly Infantryman:
The Chaldea army has finished setting up camp in the crane formation.
Lowly Infantryman:
The Real-Deal Nobunaga of Owari is headed this way with an army, just like the Mini Nobu Ninja Army's intel said.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Good. Then let's see what this so-called Real-Deal Nobunaga can do.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Besides, I'm getting tired of being a lowly infantrywoman. Who knows? Maybe I'll just take over this province and strike out on my own!
Fujimaru 1:
I already told you! Take this province, and you've got yourself a promotion!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Really? Does that mean if I play my cards right here, I could wind up back on top of the whole Chaldea clan?
Chief Retainer Mash:
That's an almost dangerously ambitious goal, Nobunaga. Such impertinence won't reflect well on your performance review this quarter.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Huh? You heard that? C-come on, I was just kidding, okay? Please tell me you're kidding too?
Fujimaru 2:
Look Mash, we caught a traitor red-handed.
Chief Retainer Mash:
I'm sorry, Nobunaga, but treason is the gravest crime you can commit against the Chaldea clan...even worse than stealing snacks.
Chief Retainer Mash:
I'm afraid we'll have to make an example of you and lop your head off for the public to see.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Please don't say that kind of stuff while you look so serious. I-it was just a little Nobbumor! That's short for Nobbu humor!
Nagao Kagetora:
All joking aside, given that you're originally from Owari, Nobunaga, this would seem to be an excellent chance to show us what you can do.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
All right! I may just be an infantrywoman of the Chaldea clan, but I'm gonna do my very best!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Actually, now that I think of it, the lookouts said the alleged Real-Deal Nobunaga and army should be here any moment now, right?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Seriously, what are they thinking, claiming to be the real deal when I'm right here!?
Nagao Kagetora:
It looks like they're here.
So that's the Nobunaga of Owari...
???:
So you're the Chaldea clan from Echigo with a false Nobunaga among your ranks? If nothing else, I must commend your audacity. How dare you use my name, miscreant?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
You're one to talk, imposter. Everyone knows there's only one Oda Nobunaga, and you're looking at her.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
It is my name that you use.
Now die, regretting that final mistake.
???:
Oho, so that's your claim, is it? Interesting...
???:
Very well then, I will teach you what it truly means to be Nobunaga myself!
Nagao Kagetora:
I-is that...!?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
I-it can't be...!
Chief Retainer Mash:
I c-can't believe it!
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
Heh... I see you've been frightened speechless.
As well you should be!
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
Indeed, I am none other than the genuine Oda Nobuna–
Fujimaru 1:
It's...
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
It's the real deal!!!???
H：Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahahahaha!
When'd you get to be so low-resolution, Boss!?
Chief Retainer Mash:
I-I've seen his picture in history books too!
Chief Retainer Mash:
That's definitely the genuine, real-deal Oda Nobunaga!
Nagao Kagetora:
Huh? THAT'S the real Nobunaga!? Then, we're the ones who've been working with an imposter all this time?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Wh-who're you calling an imposter!? I-I'll admit, his aura is practically identical to mine, but still...
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Wait, I've got it! He's gotta be from one of those parallel worlds or something!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
You know, one of those hypothetical “What if the Warring States were actually like their picture scrolls” dealies?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Wait, I've got it! He must be from one of those Lostbelt places!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
He's just something that slipped in from some random hypothetical world! It's the only possible explanation!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
I mean, there's no other way I'd ever appear so low-resolution!
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
Don't you think you're being a tad...dramatic?
Why would you ever think I was a woman?
Nagao Kagetora:
Th-that's a good point! The idea that Nobunaga was a woman is so absurd that I never stopped to think about it!
Nagao Kagetora:
I can't believe I didn't realize it sooner! Now my name will forever be associated with this shameful mistake!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
You're the last one I want to hear that from!
Fujimaru 1:
Let's fall back for now!
Chief Retainer Mash:
A-agreed! Let's fall back for now and get a better handle on the situation!
Nagao Kagetora:
It does seem our soldiers are too shaken up to be of use, so I suppose that's our only option.
Nagao Kagetora:
Everyone, fall back!
Fujimaru 2:
H-how do we tell which one's the real one!?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
What!? Et tu, Fujimaru?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Dammit! All right, everyone fall back! Hey, God of War! You bring up the rear!
Nagao Kagetora:
True, I guess that's our only option right now.
Everyone, fall back!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! Now I know what it feels like to bust a gut from laughing so hard!
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
Hahahahaha! (Shrill voice)
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
You see! Just one look at the genuine article is enough to make the imposter turn tail!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Damn, that seriously freaked me out...
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! You know, that boss was pretty handsome when you get a good look at him!
Nagao Kagetora:
So now what? Even putting that Nobunaga's appearance aside, his army didn't seem to have any major weaknesses.
Chief Retainer Mash:
True. Our reports say he's continuing to secure supply routes and employ standing armies as he makes his way here.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Man, it's like watching the me in history books come to life.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
I know I'm best known for my surprise attack at Okehazama, but my real strength was always in making sure all my bases were covered.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Winning the battle before it starts. That kinda thing. And when I couldn't beat someone, it was a matter of just talking them up and waiting till they drop their guard!
Nagao Kagetora:
So that's why you so obviously tried to butter me up in those letters you sent me.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hey, that's another battle I won without actually having to fight, thanks to you croaking on the crapper!
Nagao Kagetora:
You leave that out of this!
--BATTLE--
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
Hahahaha! Well done, everyone!
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
At this rate, it won't be long before we've gobbled up that so-called Demon King Nobunaga of the west, either.
Oda Nobukatsu:
I knew you'd come through, Lord Nobunaga! That other worthless daimyo never stood a chance against you!
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
Ah, if it isn't Nobukatsu.
I'm surprised to see you alive.
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
Then again, given how rife this world is with people claiming to be me, I suppose it's not all that unusual.
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
Very well, I expect you to serve me much more faithfully this time.
Oda Nobukatsu:
I will, my lord! Now let's get our victory banquet started, shall we!?
Oda Nobukatsu:
Ahh, that hit the spot. There's nothing better than a fine wine after a fine victory!
Oda Nobukatsu:
Go on, Lord Nobunaga! Have a drink yourself!
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
Hahahahaha! Very well then, there will be no formalities between us tonight!
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
Mmm, delicious! Although, I'm still greatly perturbed at the audacity of that mere woman claiming to be me.
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
I'll make sure to kill her the next time we...
Hm? Wha... Why can't...I move...?
Oda Nobukatsu:
...Mere woman?
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
N-Nobukatsu? You poisoned me!?
Oda Nobukatsu:
Come now, “Lord” Nobunaga.
As if Sister would ever be a man.
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
B-but I saw you drink it too!
...Wait. Was it the cup...!?
Oda Nobukatsu:
I'd never have had to do what I did if Sister had been a man...
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
I-I was careless... Well done...using my soft spot for family...against me.
Oda Nobukatsu:
Sheesh, that was too easy. I can't believe he tried to pretend to be Sister when this was the best he could do.
Oda Nobukatsu:
Sister would never let down her guard long enough for me to kill her like this.
Oda Nobukatsu:
If she'd been this easygoing, we could have had a longer, much more peaceful life together.
Oda Nobukatsu:
...Anyway, I wonder what the next Sister will be like.
Oda Nobukatsu:
I hope this one will kill me as ruthlessly as I deserve! Ahahahaha!
Chief Retainer Mash:
I've got big news!
The Real-Deal Nobunaga of Owari is dead!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Seriously!? Even though he was the real deal!? Then again, I guess it's already past when he died at Honnoji!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Yesss! (Fist pump)
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
It's not a true Nobunaga victory unless you win without fighting!
Nagao Kagetora:
How did he die? Did he fall ill or something?
Chief Retainer Mash:
According to our report, it was an act of treason by one of his retainers...
Mori Nagayoshi:
Seriously? Betrayed by one of his own?
Ugh, that's the worst.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Please tell me it wasn't Micchi?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Well, the one who's taken over in Real-Deal Nobunaga's stead is...
Oda Nobukatsu:
I am Oda Nobukatsu, the rightful heir of Owari!
Oda Nobukatsu:
You've got a lot of nerve, pretending to be my sister and invading her home province, Nobunaga of Echigo!
Oda Nobukatsu:
Since Sister isn't here right now, I'll be the one to send you to hell in her stead!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Nobukatsu, huh... I see he's still on about that rightful heir nonsense.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Nobukatsu? Wasn't he your younger brother that died, Boss?
Nagao Kagetora:
Younger...brother?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Yes, Nobukatsu was part of our group as well, but...
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Ah, I'm sure he'll surrender peacefully once I go out there and talk to him.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hey, Nobukatsu! It's me!
Go on and surrender, and we can–
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Nobwa!? That was too damn close!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
What's the big idea, Nobukatsu!?
Don't tell me you've forgotten what I look like!
Oda Nobukatsu:
What are you saying? You don't look anything like Sister. She's more, um...forward-facing?
Oda Nobukatsu:
Then again, you do look a lot like her...
Oda Nobukatsu:
But no! No! You're not fooling me! If nothing else,
I can tell your capes are nothing alike!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Okay, yes, but that's only because my,
um, class is different now...
Oda Nobukatsu:
Still, you're the closest I've seen to Sister so far...
Oda Nobukatsu:
If you say you're really her, then I'll just have to capture you and verify your claim with a thorough examination myself!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Huh, I didn't know your little bro was...like that, Boss. I can see the family resemblance, though. In your faces, anyways.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
I guess that would be new for you, seeing how you and your siblings look nothing alike.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
At any rate, let's go, Fujimaru! Depending on how we tackle this, he could be a lot easier to defeat than the Real-Deal Nobunaga!
Nagao Kagetora:
...Are you sure you're okay with attacking your own brother?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hm? ...Well, if nothing else,
I'll at least spare his life.
Mori Nagayoshi:
You always have been soft on family, haven't you, Boss! You're weirdly honorable when it comes to stuff like that!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Q-quiet, you! Come on, let's do this!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Right! As Chief Retainer, I'm hoping to take the lion's share of credit for this battle!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Then it looks like you an' me'll be competing to see who can chop off the boss's brother's head first!
Chief Retainer Mash:
I-I think his head can stay where it is...
--BATTLE--
Oda Nobukatsu:
Th-that overwhelming strength...
That more Sisterly than Sister appearance...!
Oda Nobukatsu:
Sisteeerrr! I missed you so muuuch!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hey! Get offa me! I swear, why do you always have to make this so hard!?
Fujimaru 1:
I didn't know you were here too, Nobukatsu.
Oda Nobukatsu:
Of course! Wherever Sister goes, I go!
Fujimaru 2:
Anyway, this takes care of our Owari conquest nicely.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
I suppose we have Nobukatsu here to thank for that, technically.
Nagao Kagetora:
...
Nagao Harukage:
Kagetora, I've decided to make you the head of the clan now.
Nagao Kagetora:
Thank you, Brother.
I promise I'll take good care of it.
Nagao Harukage:
I'm sorry, Kagetora...
I wish I could have governed Echigo on my own...
Nagao Harukage:
But I'm afraid I just wasn't up to the task...
(Cough, hack!)
Aya:
It's okay, Brother. Please, rest.
You can go, Kagetora. I'll take it from here.
Nagao Kagetora:
All right. Please take good care of yourself, Brother.
Nagao Kagetora:
...
Nagao Harukage:
Aya, I...
I'm scared of Kagetora...
Nagao Harukage:
Even after all that time studying at the temple, she hasn't changed a bit from how she was as a child.
Aya:
Don't be silly, Brother. Of course she has.
Aya:
She has embraced the ways of Buddhism, studied the sutras, and become a humble, unfailingly polite warrior.
Nagao Harukage:
Embraced the ways of Buddhism?
You can't possibly believe that.
Nagao Harukage:
You know as well as I do that she has no soul!
Nagao Harukage:
She's just imitating the way she thinks humans are supposed to behave!
Nagao Harukage:
But her eyes...
Those are the eyes of a monster beyond human ken.
Nagao Harukage:
I fear those eyes...just like Father did...
Aya:
...You should get some rest, Brother.
Nagao Harukage:
Even now...
Nagao Harukage:
I fear Kagetora's eyes far more than I do the gods or the Buddha...
Nagao Kagetora:
...
Nagao Kagetora:
Ahaha...
Nagao Kagetora:
Ahahahahahaha!
Nagao Kagetora:
...
Fujimaru 1:
Is something wrong?
Nagao Kagetora:
No... It's nothing.
Fujimaru 2:
In spite of everything, those two really get along well, don't they?
Nagao Kagetora:
...Do they now?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Okay everyone, let's pack camp and return to the castle!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hell yeah! Let's hurry back and have dinner already!
I can't get enough of that curry stuff.
Mori Nagayoshi:
It's been great trying all these new kinds of dishes! You're really good at your job, aren't you, Chief Retainer!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hmm. We're exploiting the hell out of our knowledge of the future, aren't we?
Enthusiastic Singing! Okehazama FES 2021
Summer Nobbu:
Aw yeeeaaahhh!
You Nobbuing it up out there, everyone!?
Summer Nobbu:
Thanks for coming to the last performance of my Suruga Summer Concert! We're all gonna have some fun today,
you hear me!? Nob-booyaaah!
Kabuki Nobbu:
Nob-booyaaah!
Fujimaru 1:
Yeah, this is about what I expected.
Nagao Kagetora:
Ahahaha, this is a nightmare! Let's hurry and burn it all to the ground!
Fujimaru 2:
Nob-booyaaah!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai! This is no time to be clapping along to the beat!
Oda Kippoushi:
Wahahahaha! What's with that me!? Sure I've always liked being the center of attention, but this is nuts!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahaha, why's that Boss dressed so weird!?
That's a swimsuit? You're supposed to swim in that?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Oh gods, this is too much!
My sides are splitting! Bahahahahaha!
Summer Nobbu:
Who cares about war!? Sit back and enjoy my Atsumori! Watch as I go out into the world to unify the nation by force!
Summer Nobbu:
Nobunaga THE Rock n' Roll!!!
Nagao Kagetora:
What the!? This... This is a Bounded Field!
Nagao Kagetora:
And I think it's limiting my movements specifically!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Oh no... It's an Anti-Divinity Bounded Field!
Li Shuwen:
Hm, so she hides her true power beneath a façade of foolish bravado.
Li Shuwen:
No wonder they call her a Demon King.
Oda Kippoushi:
Now I get it... These are the lengths that me's gotta go through to stay who she is. That can't be easy, especially with our intense personality.
Mori Nagayoshi:
What's the big deal, god of war? It's just a little heat! Haha, maybe it'll help light a fire under your ass!
Nagao Kagetora:
Shut it! That aside, I really can't move around very well here. Do you think this is a strategy to fend off opponents with Divinity, Mash?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Y-yes, I do! It doesn't affect us as much, but since you're the avatar of Bishamonten, it probably affects you much more!
Nagao Kagetora:
Hah, so what? I could never claim to be Echigo's god of war if I let something like this slow me down!
Nagao Kagetora:
Come on! I'll settle this in no time flat!
--BATTLE--
Summer Nobbu:
Ahh, that's better. Though it doesn't look like I'll be sticking around too long to enjoy it.
Summer Nobbu:
Oh well, it can't be helped! Wahahaha!
Summer Nobbu:
Thanks for coming, everyone! This is Summer Nobbu of Suruga slash Demon King of the Sixth Heaven of the beach, signing off!
Fujimaru 1:
Huh? That's weird...
Chief Retainer Mash:
It looks like this Summer Nobunaga isn't interested in fighting anymore...
Fujimaru 2:
Best concert ever.
Oda Kippoushi:
Wahahahaha! I haven't fought a battle that fun in a long time! I knew I could count on my alternate self to liven things up!
Summer Nobbu:
Sorry about that! I've gotta blow off some steam now and then just to stay who I am. You understand.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! Don't apologize, Boss! You're still a force to be reckoned with even in that getup!
Mori Nagayoshi:
What'd you call this again? Rock 'n' roll?
I bet it'd even knock that Rikyu guy on his ass!
Summer Nobbu:
Oh hey, Katsuzou, didn't know you were with these guys too. Let's see, it looks like you've also got me from Echigo, Kagetora, and Shuwen.
Summer Nobbu:
Guess that means this is all coming to a head soon.
Nagao Kagetora:
...You sound as though you know something about this world. Do you?
Summer Nobbu:
Well, I don't know how this all came about or anything...
Summer Nobbu:
...but I've at least got an idea about why all these mes were summoned here.
Summer Nobbu:
There might be a reason you've been summoned here as well, Echigo's god of war.
Fujimaru 1:
Why's that?
Oda Kippoushi:
Go on then, Suruga me. Tell us what you know.
Fujimaru 2:
Swimsuit Nobbu being serious...you really are a Nobunaga.
Mori Nagayoshi:
The swimsuit part's new,
but everything else is classic Boss.
Mori Nagayoshi:
One moment you'll be having a laugh together, and the next thing you know, your head's on the floor. Scary stuff!
Summer Nobbu:
First, I want you guys to tell me everything you've been up to before you came here.
Chief Retainer Mash:
All right, I'll do my best to explain.
When we first found ourselves in this world...
Summer Nobbu:
Hmm. So basically, this is all some sort of weird simulation thing.
Summer Nobbu:
Oooh, is it like one of those video game dealies?
Chief Retainer Mash:
That's more or less what Sakamoto told us.
Summer Nobbu:
I see... Hey, have you guys ever heard of a religious group revolving around “Lord Makuzu”?
Fujimaru 1:
I think they're somewhere in the west?
Oda Kippoushi:
Yeah, those were the monks lecturing people back near the castle. They're part of some temple organization based in western Osaka.
Fujimaru 2:
That sounds vaguely familiar.
Chief Retainer Mash:
According to the Mini Nobu Ninja Army, it's the name of a charitable organization operating throughout the country.
Summer Nobbu:
Sounds like you don't know what these Lord Makuzu people are really up to then.
Li Shuwen:
Oh? What are they really up to? Are they wreaking havoc in the name of their beliefs, like those scoundrels in the Yellow Scarves Rebellion?
Summer Nobbu:
Nah, the opposite. They're trying to recreate paradise on earth so that everyone can be happy.
Nagao Kagetora:
Recreate paradise on earth, huh...
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! What in the world are those monks thinking!
Mori Nagayoshi:
There's no way they could ever pull something like that off!
Summer Nobbu:
You're probably right, Katsuzou.
Summer Nobbu:
But whether they actually can or not,
they genuinely believe it's possible.
Summer Nobbu:
Isn't that right, Caster of Makuzu?
Caster of Makuzu:
Oh? I'm surprised you noticed me.
Fujimaru 1:
What the!? Who the heck are you!?
Fujimaru 2:
Caster of Makuzu!?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Please get back, Master!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Nobody gets close to my Master without permission!
You're dead! Hraaaaaa!
Caster of Makuzu:
Not even so much as a word of warning first, hm?
Caster of Makuzu:
But I'm afraid you're wasting your time. There's no Servant in this time period who can kill me.
Nagao Kagetora:
His wound's already healed!? ...No, that's not it.
It looks like he was never hurt to begin with...
Mori Nagayoshi:
Then I'll just keep cutting him down until he dies!
Take thiiiiiis!!!
Caster of Makuzu:
I'm telling you...you're wasting your...
Is this guy even listening?
Caster of Makuzu:
Ahh, I see. You must be one of those brutes who refuses to listen to reason.
Summer Nobbu:
Stop it, Katsuzou. Don't worry.
We can't hurt him, but he can't hurt us, either.
Fujimaru 1:
So our attacks won't work on him at all?
Fujimaru 2:
So he can't attack us, either?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Tch! Yeah, all right. It feels like I'm just slicing at air, anyway. Didn't get so much as a drop of blood out of him. Ugh, this sucks.
Caster of Makuzu:
Thank you, Nobunaga of Suruga. It would have been much more difficult to talk with him constantly hacking away at me.
Caster of Makuzu:
I can see why you were the Oda Nobunaga to most proactively initiate contact with us.
Caster of Makuzu:
You are so much more devious than your appearance suggests.
Summer Nobbu:
Oh, shut it. Anyway, if you came all this way, I'm guessing it's 'cause you want to talk to these guys.
Caster of Makuzu:
Ah yes, good day, clanspeople of Chaldea. Forgive my late introduction. I am the Caster of Makuzu.
Caster of Makuzu:
Please, don't worry. As you can see, I'm a poor, powerless Servant who cannot so much as hurt a fly.
Chief Retainer Mash:
The Caster of Makuzu...?
Caster of Makuzu:
Indeed. And as the Nobunaga of Suruga said,
I am here on behalf of my lord to talk to you.
Nagao Kagetora:
I take it this lord of yours is the leader of the Makuzu religion we've heard mentioned before?
Caster of Makuzu:
Yes, I suppose he is.
Now then, here is his message for you.
Caster of Makuzu:
The ravages of war have plagued this land for far too long. These people deserve a world where they can live their lives in peace.
Caster of Makuzu:
It is for that purpose that we would like to assist you in ending the threat to the gods, the Buddha, and all of Azuchi's living creatures.
Caster of Makuzu:
That is...we wish to defeat Demon King Nobunaga.
--ARROW--
Akechi Mitsuhide:
It seems this Caster of Makuzu person has made contact with the Chaldea clan.
Demon King Nobunaga:
...Is that so?
Demon King Nobunaga:
And how fares the Makuzu's base?
Akechi Mitsuhide:
The Makuzu headquarters remains as silent as ever.
They have not made so much as a peep.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Their warrior monks continue to operate throughout the land...
Akechi Mitsuhide:
...but I have already given the order that they are to be killed on sight.
Demon King Nobunaga:
I see. Then doubtless it will not be long before this Chaldea clan finally makes their way here.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
I see little cause for concern, my liege. As long as your magical energy continues to strengthen Lord Shibata...
Akechi Mitsuhide:
...the Chaldeans will never so much as set one foot in Azuchi.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Is that what you think, Mitsuhide?
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Well, yes... Do you...still have some concerns?
Demon King Nobunaga:
Oh, I was just remembering Monkey during the time I invaded Mino.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Everyone in my clan thought it would be impossible, and yet he managed to make it appear as though he'd built a castle there overnight.
Demon King Nobunaga:
We can't yet be sure that these Chaldeans are not similarly tenacious.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
...I'd be much obliged if you could refrain from bringing up Lord Hashiba, my liege.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Fuhahahaha! Right, I'd almost forgotten.
Demon King Nobunaga:
One of your conditions for reentering my service was that I never mention Monkey, wasn't it? Forgive me.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
...Nonetheless, you do make a good point.
I'll join Lord Shibata's rear guard as well.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Very well. I'm entrusting you to see this through.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
As you wish... I assure you, I won't let you down.
Nagao Kagetora:
So you're saying this Demon King Nobunaga is the root of all the evil here?
Caster of Makuzu:
Indeed. As long as Demon King Nobunaga is around,
you will never be able to leave this world.
Caster of Makuzu:
Their goal is to eradicate all life here in Japan, you see...
Caster of Makuzu:
...which obviously includes you travelers from a world outside our own as well.
Oda Kippoushi:
The Azuchi me, huh... The one controlling old man Gonroku and blocking the way to the west.
Mori Nagayoshi:
I wish there was something we could do about the old man. I mean, getting stronger with every step he takes? That ain't fair.
Caster of Makuzu:
Ah yes, about that... Shibata, was it?
Caster of Makuzu:
We've been looking into the matter ourselves, and it seems there's someone in Oumi who can deal with him.
Fujimaru 1:
Who could that be?
Nagao Kagetora:
I'm fairly certain I could at least hold him back,
but at this point, I know I can't defeat him.
Nagao Kagetora:
Whoever this person is, they must be a very powerful Heroic Spirit.
Fujimaru 2:
Maybe it's the person who defeated Shibata Katsuie back when he was alive?
Chief Retainer Mash:
I think Hashiba Hideyoshi–aka Toyotomi Hideyoshi–is the one who defeated him in the original Warring States period...
Chief Retainer Mash:
Do you think that is who we'll find there?
Caster of Makuzu:
I can't claim to have seen this person myself, but I am confident they are the reason why Demon King Nobunaga has yet to advance on Oumi.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Last I checked, none of us could get into Oumi thanks to its mysterious magical energy barrier...
Mori Nagayoshi:
Ugh, why're we even still here talking about this!?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Let's just go to Oumi right now, find this Heroic Spirit, and make 'em work for us!
Oda Kippoushi:
Oumi, huh... I guess Katsuzou has a point.
Oda Kippoushi:
We've still got to do something about Gonroku, and we can't avoid facing this Demon King me forever either.
Caster of Makuzu:
Then I take it we're all in agreement? Wonderful.
Caster of Makuzu:
Best of luck to you out there, everyone!
Death to Demon King Nobunaga!
Caster of Makuzu:
Oh, and if you should ever need anything in the way of military supplies, we would be more than happy to help.
Nagao Kagetora:
Hold it, Caster. What is it that you want?
Caster of Makuzu:
Huh? Well, um, as I told you before...
Caster of Makuzu:
...our lord wants to defeat Demon King Nobunaga and bring about a world where everyone can live in peace and–
Nagao Kagetora:
You misunderstand me, Caster. I'm not asking for your perspective on this as a Servant, I'm asking YOU.
Caster of Makuzu:
Ahh, now I understand. Hmm...
Caster of Makuzu:
Well, I have no reason to keep it a secret, so if you truly wish to know, I'm happy to tell you.
Caster of Makuzu:
What I want is, of course...
Caster of Makuzu:
...for all of mankind to be happy.
Caster of Makuzu:
All right then, everyone, I will see you after you've defeated Demon King Nobunaga. Take care.
Li Shuwen:
I can't get a read on that man... He doesn't even strike me as human.
Nagao Kagetora:
There is something strange about him...even for a Heroic Spirit.
Summer Nobbu:
That may be, but he's not lying,
at least as far as I can tell.
Summer Nobbu:
And it's true that the Demon King Nobunaga in Azuchi is probably the strongest Nobunaga of all of us.
Summer Nobbu:
Though I don't know who's worse...them, or my Demon King self.
Fujimaru 1:
What do you mean by that?
Summer Nobbu:
That's all I can tell you. You'll need to see for yourself before you can make that call.
Summer Nobbu:
Anyway, I'd better get going.
Fujimaru 2:
Will you help us too, Summer Nobbu?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Do it, Boss! you're the most fun Boss of all so far! I like this rock 'n' roll thing you've got going, too!
Summer Nobbu:
Sorry, I'm too tired for that.
I'm just gonna get going.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Huh? You mean you're leaving!?
Summer Nobbu:
The truth is, I've been on the brink of dying since we fought.
Summer Nobbu:
I could disappear at any moment. See?
Summer Nobbu:
So I won't be going anywhere except Suruga's super hot springs for a little R & R.
Summer Nobbu:
But hey, in the meantime, feel free to use my Kabuki Nobbus however you like!
Fujimaru 1:
You know, I still don't know what Kabuki Nobbus even are.
Chief Retainer Mash:
According to my research, they're teenage Mini Nobus who feel invincible thanks to their newfound adolescence...
Chief Retainer Mash:
...and now spend their lives engaging in horse rustling, pompadour poofing, and other forms of rock 'n' roll.
Nagao Kagetora:
Ahahahaha! Let's just put those strange creatures out of our minds, shall we?
Defeat Them! Kakare Shibata's Weakness!
Nagao Kagetora:
The Chaldea clan has finally succeeded in conquering all territory other than Demon King Nobunaga's!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
So now we can't go any further without figuring out what to do about Gonroku, huh.
Chief Retainer Mash:
That's right. We can no longer keep our distance from Shibata and wait for him to retreat, like we did before.
Chief Retainer Mash:
If we're going to invade Demon King Nobunaga's base in Azuchi, we'll need to find a way to defeat him.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Guess that Kuzu guy was full of it after all.
Mori Nagayoshi:
He said we'd find the Heroic Spirit we need to beat old man Shibata in Oumi, but we never found anyone like that.
Nagao Kagetora:
It's not Kuzu, it's the Caster of Makuzu.
Nagao Kagetora:
Though, yes, at this point it does seem like he was lying to us.
Infantrywoman Okita:
So we have to figure out a way to defeat Shibata the Demon, huh...
Infantrywoman Okita:
Are you sure my Sandanzuki wouldn't work on him?
I mean, I could aim for his heart!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Man, I don't know why,
but you really rub me the wrong way.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Now that we have numbers, what if we tried to take him together? Powerful as he is, he can't beat us all at once.
Li Shuwen:
Trying to get by him with brute force alone, hm? Interesting. Somehow that excites me as much now as it would have when I was younger.
Oda Kippoushi:
Wahahahaha! I guess there's something to be said for going all out at times like this!
Oda Kippoushi:
In that case, why don't we hit him with all our Noble Phantasms at once?
Nagao Kagetora:
We may have no choice if we can't find a better way.
Fujimaru 1:
An all-or-nothing approach, huh...
Fujimaru 2:
Is there really nothing better we could try?
??? & ???:
Hold it right there!/Hold it right there!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Y-you two!?
Hijikata Toshizo:
Hey. Are we sure we wanna let them handle this?
Infantrywoman Okita:
I don't know... But either way, we need to make sure to soften him up first.
Nagao Kagetora:
Agreed. After we wear him down, then it'll all rest on the plan we agreed to.
Li Shuwen:
I doubt it'll be easy to land even a single strike against a warrior like him.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hey, the important thing is that we get past him, right? If we end up beating him ourselves, there's nothing wrong with that!
Nagao Kagetora:
I still don't know where you get your confidence from...
But, you aren't wrong.
Shibata the Demon:
Charge...! Advaaance!
Shibata the Demon:
D-don't worry...Master...
Shibata the Demon:
I'll handle this...!
Nagao Kagetora:
All right, everyone! Remember to stick to the plan!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Shibata the Demon, huh? Interesting!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Let's see how he stacks up against the Demon Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi!!!
Infantrywoman Okita:
Okita Souji, Captain of the Shinsengumi's... I mean, Infantrywoman of the Chaldea clan, ready for battle!
Li Shuwen:
Ha!
Li Shuwen:
I commend your resolve in facing us head-on, demon!
Let's see how long it lasts against my fists!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Aw yeah! Laugh this off!
Ningen Mukotsu!!!
Nagao Kagetora:
Come! Bishamonten's protection is with us!
--BATTLE--
Shibata the Demon:
Charge... Advance...!
Infantrywoman Okita:
I didn't want to believe he could still be standing after everything we've hit him with.
C：Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahahaha! So much for beating him ourselves!
My Ningen Mukotsu didn't do shit against him!
Li Shuwen:
It's like fighting a boulder. He simply refuses to go down, no matter how hard I hit him.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Hey, is that plan they came up with ready yet?
We're not gonna last much longer out here.
Nagao Kagetora:
They should be here any moment!
Shibata the Demon:
Charge... Advance...!
???:
Shibata the Demon? Really? You've got a lot of nerve just showing your face here, Gonroku.
Shibata the Demon:
Fight...!?
B：Shibata the Demon:
Wh-who are... That voice...?
N-no, it can't be...!
Oda Nobukatsu:
How dare you pretend to be Sister's loyal attendant after you let me talk you into betraying her?
Oda Nobukatsu:
What a joke. You know what you did to Sister back then. You have no right to side with her now!
B：Shibata the Demon:
Lord N-Nobukatsu!? Is it really y-you!?
B：Shibata the Demon:
Th-this can't be right...
Lady Nobunaga killed you!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Shibata has finally stopped!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Ouch. I didn't know Gonroku was still hung up on that.
Fujimaru 1:
Hung up on what?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Oh, when Nobukatsu incited a revolt against me back when we were alive, Gonroku chose to side with him.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Of course, we managed to work things out,
and he ended up as one of my trusted retainers.
Chief Retainer Mash:
So that's why he was so shaken by what Nobukatsu had to say.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Gonroku always did feel bad about what happened,
even after I told him I'd forgotten all about it.
Oda Nobukatsu:
You idiot retainers wouldn't know Sister's greatness if it hit you upside your heads! If it wasn't for you–
B：Shibata the Demon:
Huh!? I-I...!
B：Shibata the Demon:
F-forgive me...!
I promise, I'll never betray Lady Nobunaga again!
Oda Nobukatsu:
Ha! You expect me to believe that? Trust me, Sister's never forgotten what you did to her either!
Oda Nobukatsu:
Your sins will follow you forever, Gonroku! You will pay dearly for them! It's only a matter of time!
B：Shibata the Demon:
S-stop... Please, stop!
B：Shibata the Demon:
I... I'm Lady Nobunaga's...!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Ouch. Sometimes, it's kind of scary how there's no depths to which my brother won't sink...
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai! Shibata's Spirit Origin is weakening!
I think we should be able to defeat him now!
Fujimaru 1:
Then let's get him!
Fujimaru 2:
I feel a little bad hitting him when he's down, but it can't be helped!
Nagao Kagetora:
Now I see. The plan was not to attack the body,
but the mind. Clever.
Nagao Kagetora:
At any rate, this is the chance we've been waiting for! Let's go, everyone!
--BATTLE--
Shibata the Demon:
Gh, ghhh...
Nagao Kagetora:
...Did we win?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hey! Don't go tempting fate like that.
Oda Nobukatsu:
How was that, Sister!? Pretty good, right!?
Oda Nobukatsu:
Gonroku had changed so much since I last saw him that I was honestly a little scared...
Oda Nobukatsu:
...but he turned out to be no problem at all!
Oda Nobukatsu:
Though he certainly gave us all quite a bit of trouble up to this point, didn't he?
Oda Nobukatsu:
Still, maybe I went a little too far. He might be kind of a simpleton, but he's not a bad guy...
Shibata the Demon:
Nooo! I refuse to let this end now!
Oda Nobukatsu:
Aah! H-he's still moving!?
Shibata the Demon:
I... I did turn my back on Lady Nobunaga once...
Shibata the Demon:
It may have only been a single lapse of judgment, but there was indeed a time when I failed to put my faith in her!
Shibata the Demon:
But that...
Shibata the Demon:
That is exactly why...I so fervently wished to serve Lady Nobunaga now...!
Shibata the Demon:
After she died, and that damn Monkey took over...!
Shibata the Demon:
I couldn't stand to see him run the Oda clan into the ground!
Shibata the Demon:
But then...my cowardice led to Lady Oichi's death too!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Gonroku... I didn't know you'd taken that so hard...
Shibata the Demon:
That is why...I cannot squander this chance!
Shibata the Demon:
I refuse to retreat so much as a single step...!
Shibata the Demon:
My liege! Nobunaga of Azuchi, watch over me! I promise I will devote all my strength and will to this battle!
Fujimaru 1:
He can still fight!? Seriously!?
Fujimaru 2:
Be careful, everyone!
Shibata the Demon:
Chaaaaaarge!!!
Chacha:
It's all right, Lord Gonroku. It's all right.
Shibata the Demon:
...!?
Shibata the Demon:
...I-it's you!
Chacha:
You can rest now, Lord Gonroku.
Shibata the Demon:
That face... Chacha!? Is it really you!?
Chacha:
It wasn't your fault, Lord Gonroku.
Everything changed with the times.
Chacha:
I'm sure Mother never blamed you for her fate.
Shibata the Demon:
B-but I... I...!
Chacha:
Hehe... You haven't changed a bit. You're the same as when my sisters and I visited Kitanoshou for the first time.
Chacha:
It's all right, kind Lord Gonroku... No...
Father. You can rest now.
Shibata the Demon:
Chacha... My Chacha...
Shibata the Demon:
Even now...you would still call me Father...?
Chacha:
Of course, Father.
I've always been proud to be your daughter.
Shibata the Demon:
...Have you now...?
Shibata the Demon:
I didn't realize... I've been lost all this time,
unable to come to terms with my own cowardice...
Shibata the Demon:
...
Shibata the Demon:
...Forgive me, Lord Nobunaga.
It seems I am destined to be disloyal to the end.
Shibata the Demon:
A single remark from my little girl was all it took to knock the fight out of me...
Shibata the Demon:
Take care...my dear Chacha...
Chacha:
Oh Father... You really are a hopeless softie...
Chacha:
I don't know what we're going to do with you...
Part Three: Descent! Demon King Nobunaga!
Demon King Nobunaga:
...So, Gonroku is dead.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Yes, my liege. By the time I arrived,
I'm afraid there was nothing to be done...
Demon King Nobunaga:
No matter. Gonroku served me well.
He has earned a respite.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
As for the Chaldea clan, they are preparing to launch a direct assault on Azuchi as we speak.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Hmm... Then we will muster our entire regiment and ride out to meet them.
Demon King Nobunaga:
This battle will decide everything.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
W-well, I'm afraid there have been some...complications on that front, my liege.
Demon King Nobunaga:
...What sort of complications?
Akechi Mitsuhide:
You see, we are, um...currently unable to feed our soldiers.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Hm? I don't understand.
Demon King Nobunaga:
I thought we had plenty of rice to spare thanks to the string of bumper crops we've had in recent years.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Y-yes, well...I'm told a merchant by the name of the Kameyama Troupe has purchased the majority of Azuchi's rice supply...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
...so I don't think we'll have to worry about Demon King Nobunaga's army making any moves of their own for a while.
Chief Retainer Mash:
When did you even find the time to start a merchant business since we last saw you, Sakamoto?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Well, it was the perfect cover for some information gathering, so I figured I'd take advantage of that.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
You bought up the enemy's entire supply of rice, huh?
That's...really clever.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Even the Demon King version of me can't raise an army without feeding it.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
The rice was unusually cheap thanks to a string of bumper crops anyway, so it wasn't even all that hard.
Oryou:
Oryou has never carried so many bags of rice in Oryou's whole life.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Anyway, this has given us a good chance to march right into Azuchi and square off with Demon King Nobunaga without a big, long series of battles just to get there.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Devious bastard... I'm glad you're not working for the other side, and that you weren't with the shogunate back in the day.
Infantrywoman Okita:
I'll say... Were you always good at this sort of thing, Sakamoto?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Nah, I wouldn't say that. I just figure, if there's a way to avoid fighting, that's the way to go.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hmm, so this is economic warfare.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
I guess my Demon King self didn't see this coming, since there couldn't be many others who were good at that sort of thing in this time.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Yeah, Lord Toyotomi's about the only other guy I can think of who'd bother with such a boring plan.
Oda Kippoushi:
Now that I think about it, I bet Monkey would've loved tactics like this.
Oda Kippoushi:
He always seemed like the only one in the Oda clan who knew how to really make his money work for him.
Li Shuwen:
At any rate, now that the Demon King's newfound impoverishment has greatly impeded their capabilities,
does this mean we will finally be settling things directly?
Nagao Kagetora:
I still can't imagine we'll be able to just walk into Azuchi, no matter how low on rations they may be.
Nagao Kagetora:
So what if we split our forces here? One army could create a diversion by pretending to attack Azuchi head-on, and the main one would be free to slip into the castle undetected.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
That could work. So you'll handle the diversion while the rest of us handle the Demon King, god of war?
Nagao Kagetora:
Actually, there's something about the Demon King Nobunaga I want to make sure of for myself, so I would prefer to join the main force as well.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hmm. In that case, I think the only ones here who can oversee the diversion are Hijikata, me, and me.
Hijikata Toshizo:
That's fine. I'll handle the diversion.
Hijikata Toshizo:
I don't have much experience commanding large armies, but we're just going for a diversion here so that shouldn't be a problem.
Oda Kippoushi:
Then I'll go with you. I've got plenty of experience when it comes to large-scale warfare.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Great. With the famous Lord Nobunaga helping out, we've practically already won. Okita, I want you to lead the vanguard as Captain of the First Unit.
Infantrywoman Okita:
The vanguard? That's fine with me, but to be honest,
leading isn't really my thing?
Infantrywoman Okita:
I've never told you all this before, but I'm actually much better when it comes to assassinations and such.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Yeah, I knew that.
Infantrywoman Okita:
You did!?
Li Shuwen:
I think I'll join the main force. I may not be as proficient at fighting in silence as that man-slayer over there, but it still suits me better than a direct assault.
Mori Nagayoshi:
I'm coming with the main force too! I bet I'll get tons of points for taking down Demon King Boss!
Chief Retainer Mash:
All right then, Master, myself, Kagetora, Li Shuwen, Mori, and Infantrywoman Nobbu will join the main force...
Chief Retainer Mash:
...while Hijikata, Okita, and Kippoushi will lead the diversionary force.
Chacha:
Then Chacha will stay and hold down the castle! Honestly, Chacha's too tired to do anything else now anyway.
Oda Nobukatsu:
I think I'll do the same. I'd hate to come along only to end up getting in Sister's way.
Chief Retainer Mash:
What about you, Sakamoto?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
You guys can handle the Demon King.
I've still got some things I need to look into.
Oryou:
Like finding Izo.
Oryou has no idea where that dumbass could be.
Fujimaru 1:
All right then, to Azuchi!
Fujimaru 2:
Let's all give it everything we've got!
All:
Yeah!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Fuhahahaha! Impressive! I never thought they would attack our supply chain!
Demon King Nobunaga:
And here I was certain I was the only daimyo in this age of Warring States who knew how to wield economics in war!
Demon King Nobunaga:
It seems I let my conceit get the best of me.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
I'm so sorry, Lord Nobunaga.
I should have caught this before it became a problem.
Demon King Nobunaga:
No matter. Our army alone was never going to prevail against the enemy's Servants anyway.
Demon King Nobunaga:
I was always going to have to face them myself at some point.
Demon King Infantryman:
Forgive the interruption, my liege, but the Chaldeans have begun invading Azuchi!
Demon King Infantryman:
Their forces appear to number about sixty thousand!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Oho... No wonder they were able to conquer almost all of the eastern provinces. What do you make of this, Mitsuhide?
Akechi Mitsuhide:
If that count is accurate, this invading force would constitute the bulk of their army.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
However, as you said yourself, an army alone can never prevail against Servants.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
So I suspect this is a diversion, and that a separate unit will be taking advantage of it to make their way here.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Yes, I expect so as well.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Very well then, I leave my army in your command, Mitsuhide. Muster our troops and meet these attackers in the field.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
My liege? That would be playing right into the enemy's hands.
Demon King Nobunaga:
...Do you truly think I would lose to the likes of them?
Demon King Nobunaga:
Or perhaps you're plotting to turn my own forces against me once more?
Akechi Mitsuhide:
N-not at all, my liege! Never again!
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Very well then, but I ask that you at least take him with you. He should be at least some help against Servants.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Hmph. I can easily handle the likes of them all on my own, but I suppose I can give you this opportunity to save face.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Thank you, my liege. Rest assured, the Chaldeans' army will never set one foot past my gunners.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Good. Now then...I hope these Chaldeans prove to be at least somewhat entertaining.
Nagao Kagetora:
That's odd... There should be many more guards than we're seeing here.
Chief Retainer Mash:
That's true...
We still haven't run into any real resistance.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hmm. Maybe this just means our diversion is working better than we expected?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Well this sucks. If I'd known it was gonna be like this, I'd have gone with the frontal assault and gotten waaay more points that way.
Fujimaru 1:
Let's just keep going for now!
Fujimaru 2:
Hmm. Something does seem off about this...
???:
By the time you realize something's off,
it's already too late!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Ah! Master!!!
Li Shuwen:
Hmph, just the sort of cowardly tactic I'd expect from an Assassin. Not that I'm in any position to criticize.
???:
Dammit! How the hell'd an old man like you figure out what I was up to?
Fujimaru 1:
Izo!?
Fujimaru 2:
Th-that was too close...
Chief Retainer Mash:
I-Izo? Is that you!?
???:
Huh? You know who I am? Yeah, it's me!
I'm one of Demon King Nobunaga's faithful retainers...
???:
Man-Slayer Izo!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Well, I guess we don't need to ask what happened to him. He's obviously been brainwashed.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Master, you don't mind if I kill this guy, right?
Great, thanks. I'll just do that right now.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hey, you! Nobody makes an attempt on my Master's life and lives to tell about it!
Li Shuwen:
Wait. He was talented to begin with, and this Demon King seems to be enhancing his strength further.
Li Shuwen:
You shouldn't rush in without a plan.
Man-Slayer Izo:
Hmph, guess I don't have any other options! Get out here, men! We'll finish them all off right now!
Demon King Soldier:
Yes, Lord Izo! We will attack on your command!
Chief Retainer Mash:
It looks like Izo wasn't the only one lying in wait for us.
Nagao Kagetora:
They've got us surrounded... What should we do now?
Li Shuwen:
...Kid, come with me.
We'll stay behind and hold them off.
Li Shuwen:
The rest of you, go take care of this Demon King person.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Who the hell're you calling “kid,” old man!? And why should I!? I got plans to kill me a Demon King!
Man-Slayer Izo:
Ha! Don't make me laugh. You really think a couple of weaklings like you can so much as slow me down?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Yeah, okay, I'm in! Go on ahead, Master!
I'm gonna kill the shit outta this guy.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Next time I see you, his head'll be decorating my spear!
Fujimaru 1:
Thanks, guys!
Fujimaru 2:
Try to leave his head on his shoulders, if you can.
Nagao Kagetora:
In that case, we'd better make our way past them!
Let's go, Mash!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Understood! Chief Retainer Mash Kyrielight,
preparing for battle!
Man-Slayer Izo:
Oh no you don't!
Not one of you is getting out of here alive!
--ARROW--
High Priest of Makuzu:
...Tell me, Caster, how is your plan progressing?
Caster of Makuzu:
I'm pleased to say that the Chaldea clan is finally gearing up to confront Demon King Nobunaga.
High Priest of Makuzu:
Wonderful. Once the Demon King is out of the picture, we can finally go about saving all living creatures.
Caster of Makuzu:
True, the Chaldeans seem like they'd be much more receptive to our goal than the Demon King.
Caster of Makuzu:
Why, they might even volunteer to help you accomplish it.
High Priest of Makuzu:
...All that we do, we do to bring about paradise on earth.
C：Caster of Makuzu:
...
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
I never thought we'd find Okada here brainwashed into working for the enemy.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Eh, maybe it's not so odd.
He never struck me as much of a thinker.
Chief Retainer Mash:
It's too bad Sakamoto isn't here with us.
He might have been able to get through to Izo...
Nagao Kagetora:
You said the castle keep was down this corridor, right? I trust you're all ready for what awaits us there?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
This place seems pretty much the same as I remember it, so yeah, the keep should be right up ahead.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Then it won't be much longer until we meet Demon King Nobunaga for ourselves. Let's go, Senpai!
Fujimaru 1:
You're really getting into all this, aren't you, Mash?
Fujimaru 2:
Hah hah hah. If my Chief Retainer insists, I suppose I had best oblige.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Come on then.
Let's go see what this Demon King me is like.
Demon King Nobunaga:
I'm impressed you made it this far,
Fujimaru of Chaldea.
Nagao Kagetora:
...So you're Demon King Nobunaga.
Demon King Nobunaga:
And you must be Nagao Kagetora, Echigo's god of war...
Demon King Nobunaga:
Heh. Now that a Demon King and a god of war are about to do battle, this truly feels like the conflict's climax.
Fujimaru 1:
Th-that's Demon King Nobunaga...?
Fujimaru 2:
That seems excessive, even for Nobbu...
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Well damn, I knew I was hot stuff,
but Demon King me is next-level hot!
Chief Retainer Mash:
This is neither the time nor the place for that,
Nobunaga of Chaldea!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
It's not, huh? My bad.
Guess I'd better just shut up and start killing.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Oh my, how scary... How very like me to get my enemy to lower their guard before mounting a surprise attack.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Damn. Guess it figures you'd know what I was thinking.
Nagao Kagetora:
Demon King Nobunaga... You have been tormenting innocent people for too long. Now I, Nagao Kagetora, shall defeat you in the name of Bishamonten!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Oh? So you're here on behalf of the heavens, are you?
Demon King Nobunaga:
I've heard rumors about you, but it seems Echigo's god of war is an even greater fool than I was told.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Ever since you were alive, you've been hung up on fighting for honor and reason and all that. It's always gotten on my nerves.
Demon King Nobunaga:
If you love the gods and the Buddha that much, you should have contented yourself with chanting prayers in a temple somewhere.
Nagao Kagetora:
The human world is bound by morality.
I fight to ensure that that morality prevails!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Hmph. You talk a big game for someone whose heart is nowhere in it.
Nagao Kagetora:
Huh!? What are you trying to say!?
Demon King Nobunaga:
Listen up! Neither the gods nor the Buddha have a place in my world!
Demon King Nobunaga:
I am the heavens and the law of this world itself!
Demon King Nobunaga:
I am Oda Nobunaga, Demon King of the Sixth Heaven!
Nagao Kagetora:
If it wasn't clear you were an enemy of the gods before that show of conceit, it certainly is now.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Oh? You claim to be an avatar of the gods, you come to pass judgment on me as such, and you call ME conceited?
Nagao Kagetora:
I can see there is no sense in us talking further, so I will say no more. All that remains now is to do battle!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hey, this is me we're talking about. If peaceful resolution was in my repertoire, things would never have gotten this bad in the first place.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hmm, it looks like we've got you vastly outnumbered.
You're not gonna call foul there?
Demon King Nobunaga:
Funny you should say that. It doesn't matter how many of you weaklings band together. I could beat you all with both arms tied behind my back.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Now...experience the power of the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven!
Fujimaru 1:
Be careful, everyone!
Fujimaru 2:
Let's do this thing!
--BATTLE--
Hijikata Toshizo:
Good! Vanguard, advance! Keep your guard up, Okita!
Infantrywoman Okita:
Okita Souji, Infantrywoman of the Chaldea clan's First Unit, moving out!
Infantrywoman Okita:
You know, I'm pretty sure I've earned a promotion to captain at the very least by now!
Demon King Infantryman:
The enemy vanguard is cutting their way in, Lord Mitsuhide! What are your orders to the gunners!?
Akechi Mitsuhide:
...Nothing. At least not yet.
We're going to draw them in as far as possible first.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
...Now! Gunners, fire at will!
Oda Kippoushi:
Wahahahaha! So Mitsuhide's their commander, huh? No wonder their defense is so tight! This isn't his first rodeo by a long shot!
Hijikata Toshizo:
I can see why he was such a decorated general in the Warring States period.
Hijikata Toshizo:
What do we do now? We can't just keep putting our vanguard through the grinder like this.
Oda Kippoushi:
True... For the moment, I think we'd better have them retreat, then–
Hijikata Toshizo:
Hey, are you all right? You're starting to fade away.
Oda Kippoushi:
Hm? Oh hey, so I am! Wahahaha, this is so cool!
I can see right through my own hand!
Infantrywoman Okita:
This isn't funny! Wh-what's going on!?
Oda Kippoushi:
Looks like something must've happened to the other mes.
Demon King Infantryman:
The enemy's advance has slowed, Lord Mitsuhide!
Akechi Mitsuhide:
...So, it's begun.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Fuhahahahaha! Impressive!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Nagao Kagetora! You do yourself a disservice, describing yourself as merely the avatar of Bishamonten!
Demon King Nobunaga:
There is something far greater than Bishamonten in you. Something both human and inhuman–something deviant from humanity itself!
Nagao Kagetora:
...It's over, Demon King Nobunaga.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
True, Kagetora is crazy strong.
I'm just glad she's on my side.
Fujimaru 1:
Did...did we win...?
Fujimaru 2:
Demon King Nobunaga...
Demon King Nobunaga:
Fuhahahaha! It would seem my role here is complete.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Fujimaru of Chaldea, was it!?
Demon King Nobunaga:
Now that the Demon King, the enemy and tormentor of all living things, is about to disappear...
Demon King Nobunaga:
...do you truly believe paradise will come to this world?
Fujimaru 1:
What are you talking about?
Fujimaru 2:
What are you trying to say?
Demon King Nobunaga:
Oh, nothing.
Demon King Nobunaga:
I just couldn't help but wonder what this world will hold for you now that I am gone.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Farewell, Chaldeans!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Fuhahahaha! Hahahahaha...!!!
Chief Retainer Mash:
...Demon King Nobunaga has...disappeared...
Nagao Kagetora:
Honestly, that was a bit of a letdown, as easy as it was. Those last words were ominous, though.
Infantrywoman Nobbu?:
True. You need to be a lot stronger before you go around claiming to be Demon King me.
Nagao Kagetora:
Huh!? N-Nobunaga, look at you!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Wh-what's going on!?
Infantrywoman Nobbu?:
Hm? What is it? Huh, that's weird.
Did you all shrink a little?
Fujimaru 1:
S-somebody get her a mirror!
Fujimaru 2:
N-Nobbu! Now YOU'RE Demon King Nobbu!
Infantrywoman Nobbu?:
Hm? Oh yeah, you guys didn't shrink. I got bigger.
Infantrywoman Nobbu?:
Aaah! ALL of me got bigger!
Infantrywoman Nobbu?:
I-I guess it can't be helped?
Chief Retainer Mash:
It most certainly can be!
Part Four, Section One: Paradise of the West
Infantrywoman Okita:
Wh-what happened to you, Nobbu?
Demon King Nobbu:
You know, I don't really know either. But hot DAMN I look sexy as hell, don'tcha think?
Infantrywoman Okita:
Just how many variations can you get...?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! You finally grew up, huh, Boss! I don't know what the deal is with those spiky things on your back, but damn if they're not awesome!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Wait, is this what you were always like back in the day, Boss? I can't even remember anymore!
Chief Retainer Mash:
What's going on? How did this happen?
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Keep it together. There's nothing to worry about. All the different Lady and Lord Nobunagas in this land were simply consolidated into a single being.
Fujimaru 1:
So that's what happened...
Fujimaru 2:
Huh?
Demon King Nobbu:
Hm? Oh, hey, if it isn't Micchi.
Demon King Nobbu:
Wait. You were on our enemy's side!
Demon King Nobbu:
What do you think you're doing, showing your face around here!?
Nagao Kagetora:
So you're Akechi Mitsuhide, the famed retainer of the Oda clan...
Hijikata Toshizo:
As soon as Kippoushi disappeared, he surrendered to us without another word.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
My loyalty is to the one and only Lady Nobunaga.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
If this is where I am to find her,
then it is where I shall offer my service.
Oda Nobukatsu:
Well that's awfully convenient. Do we really want this guy hanging around here, Sister?
Oda Nobukatsu:
On a different note...when did you get so beautifully badass?
Demon King Nobbu:
Shut up, Nobukatsu. Besides, you were on the enemy's side the first time we ran into you here, too.
Demon King Nobbu:
Anyway, knowing you, Micchi, I assume you didn't turn up here empty-handed?
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Indeed I didn't, my lady. I have information to share about our true enemy.
Fujimaru 1:
True enemy? What true enemy?
Fujimaru 2:
What are you talking about?
Lowly Infantryman:
Pardon the intrusion!
Lowly Infantryman:
A man calling himself the Caster of Makuzu is requesting an audience with you. Shall I send him in?
Akechi Mitsuhide:
That didn't take long...
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Lady Nobunaga, let us leave this to the Chaldeans and retire to the guest chambers for the time being.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
[♂ Lord /♀ Lady] Fujimaru, could I ask you to find out what this Caster seeks?
Hijikata Toshizo:
What're you plotting?
Akechi Mitsuhide:
For the moment, I ask only that you meet with the Caster of Makuzu and hear what he has to say.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Surely you can wait to cut off my head until after that.
Chief Retainer Mash:
What should we do, Senpai?
Fujimaru 1:
All right, we'll meet with him.
Fujimaru 2:
Okay, we'll hear what he has to say.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Oh yes, I almost forgot.
If he should happen to ask about us...
Akechi Mitsuhide:
...please tell him that you killed both Demon King Nobunaga and me during the recent skirmish.
Nagao Kagetora:
...
Caster of Makuzu:
So you defeated Demon King Nobunaga. My lord was delighted to hear it. I knew we could count on you Chaldeans.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Hmph. So now what do you want? Have you come to declare war on us now that the Demon King's out of the way?
Caster of Makuzu:
Oh no, nothing like that.
Caster of Makuzu:
Now that you have vanquished the Demon King,
my lord wished for me to give you a message.
Nagao Kagetora:
The lord of Makuzu, huh...
Caster of Makuzu:
Indeed. On behalf of the Makuzu, we would like to begin peace talks with Chaldea, and bring an end to the war and strife that plagues this land once and for all.
Chief Retainer Mash:
You want p-peace!?
Caster of Makuzu:
We do. Once we have reached an agreement, we Makuzu will be happy to lend Chaldea–indeed, all living creatures–any assistance needed.
Hijikata Toshizo:
...And what's in it for you guys?
Caster of Makuzu:
The Makuzu's goal was always to bring salvation to all living things.
Caster of Makuzu:
While we were forced to take up arms to defend ourselves and our allies from Demon King Nobunaga's machinations...
Caster of Makuzu:
...we have no use for them now that the Demon King is gone.
Caster of Makuzu:
Won't you consider joining hands with us and taking the first step towards lasting peace?
Caster of Makuzu:
Or do you only wish to unite all of Japan to satisfy your own desires rather than to bring peace to its people?
Caster of Makuzu:
And do you now plan to make us your next target after Demon King Nobunaga?
Fujimaru 1:
Why were you guys fighting Demon King Nobunaga anyway?
Caster of Makuzu:
Well, for one thing, Demon King Nobunaga would not even entertain the idea of an audience, let alone peaceful negotiations.
Caster of Makuzu:
Instead, our land was invaded and anyone that got in the way killed blindly. A true Demon King in every sense of the word.
Fujimaru 2:
Of course we want peace, but...
Caster of Makuzu:
Wonderful. I knew you Chaldeans would be willing to listen to reason.
Caster of Makuzu:
Believe me, it wasn't easy being the liaison between the high priest of Makuzu and Demon King Nobunaga.
Caster of Makuzu:
I've never felt so up a creek without a paddle before in my life.
Chief Retainer Mash:
...And what exactly are the terms of your peace?
Caster of Makuzu:
Oh yes, my lord would like to meet with you so you can discuss that in person.
Caster of Makuzu:
And so, I would like to cordially invite you to visit him at the Makuzu's main temple headquarters...
Caster of Makuzu:
...Makuzu Honnoji.
Chief Retainer Mash:
According to the Caster of Makuzu,
this should be Lord Makuzu's domain...
Nagao Kagetora:
I see. That would mean the Makuzu control the Kyoto area.
Mori Nagayoshi:
(Yaaawn) Man, what a letdown. Peace talks might be a good thing and all, but they're so damn boooooooooring!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hey, Master! What do you say we take a break and have some lunch?
Chief Retainer Mash:
My map says there's a village just up ahead.
Why don't we take a breather there, Senpai?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Especially since we still have a ways to go before we get to the Makuzu headquarters.
Fujimaru 1:
Sounds good to me.
Fujimaru 2:
Let's do it. I'm starving!
Mori Nagayoshi:
All right! Then what're we waiting for!?
Makuzu Villager:
My goodness, you've all come quite a long way.
You must be exhausted from your journey.
Makuzu Villager:
Please, stay and rest a spell.
Help yourselves to all the food and drink you like.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Thank you. That's so kind of you,
especially when we've only just met.
Makuzu Villager:
Oh, it's no trouble. We have plenty to spare thanks to Lord Makuzu, and we don't even have to work for it.
Makuzu Villager:
We could never live this good without the great Lord Makuzu.
Nagao Kagetora:
...You don't have to work to eat?
Fujimaru 1:
What do you mean?
Fujimaru 2:
Then where'd all the food and booze come from?
Makuzu Villager:
We're fortunate enough to live close to Lord Makuzu. It's through his graces that we're blessed with such abundance.
Makuzu Villager:
Thanks to him, we're able to live better lives here than we ever had before. It's truly paradise on earth now.
Makuzu Villager:
I still can't believe I used to spend so much time on backbreaking work like a fool...
Nagao Kagetora:
Paradise, huh... So that's why we haven't seen anyone working in this entire village.
Mori Nagayoshi:
...Hey, how come I'm not seeing any kids around here?
Makuzu Villager:
Oh, the children are all studying Lord Makuzu's teachings at his headquarters on the mountain.
Makuzu Villager:
In the future, they'll all get to be monks for him.
We couldn't be more grateful.
Nagao Kagetora:
All the children will be Makuzu monks, huh...
Chief Retainer Mash:
We should be nearly at the Makuzu headquarters now. Although, there's something about this province that's nagging at me...
Nagao Kagetora:
I suppose getting by without having to work probably would be considered paradise in an age of constant war.
Nagao Kagetora:
Still, I couldn't help but notice that simply getting by seemed to be all those villagers did...
Fujimaru 1:
So that's what they consider paradise, huh...
Fujimaru 2:
I don't know if I agree with their idea of paradise.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Ha! What a joke. Nothing to do every day but eat and sleep? I wouldn't last a week before dying of boredom.
Nagao Kagetora:
At any rate, we should hurry on to the Makuzu headquarters. I want to verify what Lord Akechi told us for myself.
Demon King Nobbu:
So, of all places, the Makuzu are headquartered at Honnoji... Huh, I don't remember there being a mountain nearby.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Indeed. That whole area doesn't look at all the way it did in our time.
Nagao Kagetora:
So it's not the same Kyoto we know then?
Akechi Mitsuhide:
No, it's not. I suggest the next step you all take...
Akechi Mitsuhide:
...is to attend this peace talk at the Makuzu headquarters and see what their nation is like for yourselves.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Lady Nobunaga and I will await your return here,
so they don't find out we're still alive.
Demon King Nobbu:
Don't worry about a thing. I'll keep a close eye on him to make sure he doesn't pull anything.
Demon King Nobbu:
Besides, one visit to Honnoji was more than enough for me. Even I can only tempt fate so many times!
Infantrywoman Okita:
Hijikata and I will stay behind too, just to make sure Nobbu the Giant here doesn't screw up.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Don't worry, we'll hold down the fort good and tight while you're away.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Speaking of which, you sure you really wanna just waltz into enemy headquarters?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! Long as I'm around,
I won't let 'em so much as breathe on Master!
Nagao Kagetora:
In fact, if they do try to harm us during this peace talk, that would give us an excellent reason to invade them.
Nagao Kagetora:
Between myself, Nagayoshi, and Chief Retainer Mash's protection, I'm sure we can handle anything they might try.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Right! As your Chief Retainer, I, Mash Kyrielight, vow to keep Senpai safe even if it should cost me my own life!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hey, you're really starting to sound like a samurai!
Now that's what a loyal retainer should be like!
Demon King Nobbu:
Well, I don't know how much help Katsuzou'll be, but I'm sure you'll be fine as long as that stupidly strong god of war's with you.
Demon King Nobbu:
I bet she could kill a hundred thousand soldiers all on her own, and that's without the advantage Servants have over regular armies.
Demon King Nobbu:
And if things do take a turn towards Servant vs.
Servant battles, Fujimaru'll pretty much have to be there.
Fujimaru 1:
I'll be counting on you guys out there.
Fujimaru 2:
The Makuzu headquarters, huh...
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Oh, before I forget: please remember that Makuzu thinks we're dead, and we would like to keep it that way.
Nagao Kagetora:
...
Chief Retainer Mash:
So these are the Makuzu headquarters...
I have to say, this isn't what I was expecting...
Makuzu Warrior Monk:
Gahahahaha! Hey, get me some more booze!
And a woman to pour it for me!
Nagao Kagetora:
I never thought I would see monks eating meat and drinking alcohol, especially in broad daylight...
Makuzu Warrior Monk:
Hm? Who're you guys? ...Oh, you're here to pay your respects to Lord Makuzu?
Makuzu Warrior Monk:
Well good, that's what we like to see.
Just hand it over and you can be on your way.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Um...hand what over?
Makuzu Warrior Monk:
Ah c'mon, don't make me spell it out.
What, you guys never been here before or something?
Makuzu Warrior Monk:
I'm talking about a little tip.
You know, for excellent service.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! A monk, demanding a bribe!?
Now I've seen everything!
Mori Nagayoshi:
If you want a tip, I got one for you right here, on the end of my spear!
Makuzu Warrior Monk:
The hell? Are you threatening us, punk? You know what happens to people who mess with Lord Makuzu's monks?
Fujimaru 1:
Mori! Cool it!
Fujimaru 2:
Stop it, Mori!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Oh? Well hello, Chaldeans.
What a funny coincidence, running into you here.
Makuzu Warrior Monk:
Hm? You know these guys?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Yes, I do. Anyway, as you can see, I'm here on business again. It's not much, but here's my usual tip.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Would you do me a favor and let these guys in for me?
I'll throw in a little extra to cover them.
Makuzu Warrior Monk:
Well, I guess since you know them,
I can look the other way for such a good tipper.
Makuzu Warrior Monk:
All right, go on through. Now, let's get back to it!
A toast to the god of Makuzu!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Have you been here before, Sakamoto?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Oh yes. It's a good spot for both business and gathering intel. So, what do you guys think of the place so far?
Nagao Kagetora:
Are all the monks here like that?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Oh, I wouldn't say all of them.
But generally speaking, most of them are...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Well, let's just say they're not what you'd usually expect from monks.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Must be a helluva place if it's got so-called monks boozing it up in broad daylight.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
I take it you saw some of the nearby villages on your way here then?
Chief Retainer Mash:
We did. They told us they never had to worry about food thanks to the Makuzu's kindness.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
That's right, they don't. Every aspect of life here depends upon the Makuzu's generosity.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Thanks to that, the people here always have enough to eat, and they never have to work for it.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
In that sense, you could call this land a utopia.
Oryou:
Except for the fact that no one here's got any damn life in their eyes.
Mori Nagayoshi:
So they depend on their Lord Makuzu for everything, huh? Hmph. I don't like it.
Nagao Kagetora:
Still, when all you've ever known is war, and you've had to go hungry more days than not, I could certainly see the appeal of such a way of life.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
I suppose it all depends on how you look at it.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
...All right, the main hall's right over there.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Oryou and I still have some business to take care of, so we'll see you guys later.
Oryou:
Hey, did you guys ever find Izo?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Oh, yes, about that...
Okada Izo:
What'm I doing in jail!?
Let me out, dammit!
Li Shuwen:
All right, I'll ask you again: who is your Master?
Okada Izo:
Shut up, gramps! Do you have any idea who I am!? I'm Demon King Nobunaga's faithful servant, Man-Slayer Izo!
Okada Izo:
Huh? Wait, no I'm not! I... Who AM I?
Li Shuwen:
Just as I thought. Your brainwashing still hasn't worn off. You won't be getting out of there for a while yet.
Okada Izo:
I told you, nobody's controlling me, dammit! Now let me out already!!!
Chief Retainer Mash:
...he's still on, um, medical leave.
Oryou:
Ugh, what is that idiot doing?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Well, I'm glad to hear he's all right.
Okay, see you later then.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Yeah, I still don't trust that guy.
Nagao Kagetora:
All right, here we are.
We're finally going to meet the head of the Makuzu.
Caster of Makuzu:
Well hello there, Chaldeans.
Welcome to the headquarters of the Makuzu.
Caster of Makuzu:
My lord has been expecting you. Please, right this way.
Fujimaru 1:
This is it...
Fujimaru 2:
The lord of the Makuzu...
Caster of Makuzu:
Please allow me to introduce you to our leader,
the High Priest of Makuzu.
High Priest of Makuzu:
Welcome, welcome, clanspeople of Chaldea.
Fujimaru 1:
So that's the leader of Makuzu...
Fujimaru 2:
The High Priest of Makuzu, huh...
Nagao Kagetora:
Allow me to get right to the point: Do the Makuzu truly wish to enter into a peace treaty with the Chaldea clan?
High Priest of Makuzu:
We do. War is an empty undertaking that brings nothing but pain for all living things.
High Priest of Makuzu:
Now that Demon King Nobunaga, the enemy of all the gods and the Buddha, is gone, we have no more reason to fight.
Chief Retainer Mash:
So Demon King Nobunaga was opposed to you?
High Priest of Makuzu:
Oh yes. Demon King Nobunaga was truly a faithless scoundrel, the enemy of all that is good in the world.
High Priest of Makuzu:
We assured the Demon King no fewer than three times that we had no wish for battle, only for them to invade our land and harm our believers!
Nagao Kagetora:
I see. That definitely sounds like something Demon King Nobunaga would do...
Nagao Kagetora:
So if the Chaldea clan agrees to your terms, what do you hope to accomplish when all of Japan is unified?
High Priest of Makuzu:
Why, we wish only to save all living things with Lord Makuzu's power, of course.
Chief Retainer Mash:
What do you mean by that?
High Priest of Makuzu:
Lord Makuzu is our god. There are no limits to his power, and nothing he cannot do.
High Priest of Makuzu:
All we want is to use his glory to build a genuine paradise upon this earth...
Fujimaru 1:
You mean with divine power?
Fujimaru 2:
Can you be a little more specific?
High Priest of Makuzu:
Hmm? Are you saying you Chaldeans do not believe in the gods or the Buddha?
Nagao Kagetora:
Of course we believe in them.
Any righteous person would.
Nagao Kagetora:
But humans can never hope to live full lives if they depend solely on the gods and the Buddha for everything.
Nagao Kagetora:
That is why we must not be slaves to our whims,
and why we must live our lives one day at a time.
Nagao Kagetora:
Yet the monks here indulge in alcohol and meat, vices that would be unthinkable for those who have devoted their lives to the Buddha...
Nagao Kagetora:
So you'll forgive me if I have trouble seeing how men who are so lacking in prudence could ever claim to be the Buddha's earthly messengers.
High Priest of Makuzu:
Hahaha! Come now, what harm is there in monks partaking in alcohol and meat?
High Priest of Makuzu:
Why bother with something as silly as asceticism when our god gives us everything we could want?
High Priest of Makuzu:
Ahh, it breaks my heart to see your faith so misplaced in a god as dull as Bishamonten, Lady Kagetora.
High Priest of Makuzu:
Come now, why not take this opportunity to instead embrace our god, Lord Makuzu?
Nagao Kagetora:
Enough! How dare you insult Bishamonten in front of me!
Nagao Kagetora:
Besides, I've never even heard of this Makuzu god before.
Nagao Kagetora:
Just what sort of god is he!?
High Priest of Makuzu:
Ahh, I do beg your pardon. I meant no offense.
High Priest of Makuzu:
It is simply that every other god appears inconsequential next to the great and merciful Makuzu.
High Priest of Makuzu:
After all, no other god is capable of bestowing food and medicine wherever it is needed, nor of bringing real, tangible salvation to all.
High Priest of Makuzu:
And next to the daimyo who do nothing more than hurt people by extorting taxes and waging war, well, there's no comparison at all...
High Priest of Makuzu:
But then, I suppose I'm preaching to the choir here, right, Lady Kagetora of Echigo? You are renowned for your virtue, after all.
Nagao Kagetora:
...How dare you.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Ha! Gods, Buddha, who cares! It's all nonsense!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Get off your high horse, baldie! You know as well as I do you've never even seen this so-called god of yours!
Mori Nagayoshi:
What's the point of believing in a god who doesn't exist and can't do a damn thing for you!?
High Priest of Makuzu:
Hmm? What an odd thing to say.
High Priest of Makuzu:
Lord Makuzu's power is perfect and absolute. Of course he exists. Why, he's here with us right now.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Wh-what the... Magical energy!?
Nagao Kagetora:
This pressure... What did you do to us!?
High Priest of Makuzu:
You see? Even the greatest Heroic Spirit is helpless in the face of Lord Makuzu's power.
Mori Nagayoshi:
What's going on!? Why's it so much harder to move now!?
High Priest of Makuzu:
Oh, what a surprise. I'm impressed you're able to move at all while under Lord Makuzu's power.
High Priest of Makuzu:
Well, I suppose there's no other choice then.
Go ahead and rough them up a little, Caster.
Caster of Makuzu:
Sorry about this.
Caster of Makuzu:
For what it's worth, I promise you I wasn't lying. But, we Servants are obliged to carry out our Master's orders.
Caster of Makuzu:
I'll make this hurt, but please don't die, all right?
Armored Warrior monks, if you would.
Armored Warrior Monk:
Targets confirmed. Moving to capture.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Khh! We'll just have to fight them off as best we can!
--BATTLE--
A：Armored Warrior Monk:
Calling in reinforcements.
Proceeding to surround and destroy.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Dammit! I could handle these punks no problem if I could just move freely!
High Priest of Makuzu:
What's wrong? If you need more Armored Warrior Monks to play with, I have plenty more where those came from.
Nagao Kagetora:
Now I see... This hall is designed to restrict Servants' movements!
High Priest of Makuzu:
What did I tell you? Lord Makuzu's magical energy is utterly without limits.
High Priest of Makuzu:
As such, there is no wish he cannot grant.
Chief Retainer Mash:
That's impossible... Every source of magical energy has a limit, no matter how strong that energy might be!
High Priest of Makuzu:
So you still refuse to believe even after experiencing his divine power for yourselves? You are even greater fools than I thought...
High Priest of Makuzu:
That's enough, Caster. Take these godless peons into custody and turn them into Armored Warrior Monks or something.
Caster of Makuzu:
Are you sure, my lord?
High Priest of Makuzu:
Now that Demon King Nobunaga is gone,
there is no one left to defy our god.
Nagao Kagetora:
Khh! Not if I have anything to say about–
Nagao Kagetora:
Gah! I can't move at all now!
Caster of Makuzu:
Sorry. Like my Master said, our magical energy here in this hall is limitless.
Caster of Makuzu:
Not even the avatar of Bishamonten can move about freely in here unless we let her.
Nagao Kagetora:
What about Chaldea's army!? If we don't return when we said we would, they'll all be here demanding answers!
High Priest of Makuzu:
No matter. Once true paradise arrives in this land,
the very idea of soldiers will cease to hold meaning.
Nagao Kagetora:
True...paradise?
Caster of Makuzu:
Well, everyone, I'm very sorry about this, but I'm afraid I need to have you all sit tight for a while.
Part Four, Section Two: Eternal Unburning Nirvana, Makuzu
Uesugi Retainer:
Our allies have won yet another battle.
And it's all thanks to you, Lady Kagetora.
Nagao Kagetora:
...All right then, I'm trusting you to handle the rest.
Nagao Kagetora:
I'm going to go report this victory to Bishamonten.
Uesugi Retainer:
Yes, my lady!
A：Uesugi Retainer:
...Phew. I always freeze up whenever Lady Kagetora's around.
B：Uesugi Retainer:
Me too. And I still don't know what she's thinking, refusing to cut off this territory even after winning the battle.
A：Uesugi Retainer:
Indeed, her mind is a mystery to me as well...
B：Uesugi Retainer:
Well, Lady Kagetora is an avatar of the gods. I suppose we mere humans could never hope to understand her.
A：Uesugi Retainer:
Perhaps not. For that matter, as of late,
I cannot even bring myself to look her in the eye...
A：Uesugi Retainer:
It feels as though she sees right through me,
and I have nowhere to hide...
Nagao Kagetora:
...Ahahahaha!
Nagao Kagetora:
Help me, Bishamonten. I cannot understand people.
Nagao Kagetora:
I know that people are weak and fragile...
Nagao Kagetora:
I know that they curry favor with those stronger than themselves, and trod mercilessly upon those weaker.
Nagao Kagetora:
Yet despite that, I have devoted my life to protecting them, in the name of virtue and morality.
Nagao Kagetora:
I have killed many, many people in war.
Nagao Kagetora:
That is all my strength is good for–this monstrous strength that my father, my brother, and my sister feared.
Nagao Kagetora:
I will no doubt kill many,
many more people as the wars continue.
Nagao Kagetora:
But am I truly protecting people by killing others in this way?
Nagao Kagetora:
Help me, Bishamonten.
I cannot understand people, no matter how hard I try.
Nagao Kagetora:
Ahaha... Ahahahahaha!
Chief Retainer Mash:
...What are we going to do now, Senpai?
Mori Nagayoshi:
What else!? We break outta here and kill the bastard that did this to us!
Nagao Kagetora:
There's a problem with that. Whatever these restraints they put on us are, we can't even move now!
Nagao Kagetora:
They seem to have been designed to rob Servants of their strength.
Fujimaru 1:
I don't know what we're gonna do now...
Fujimaru 2:
I wonder if there's something we haven't tried yet...
Chief Retainer Mash:
...Senpai, someone's coming!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Hey guys. Guess your meeting didn't go so well, huh.
Chief Retainer Mash:
S-Sakamoto!?
Oryou:
What were you thinking, letting yourselves get caught?
Who do you think you are, Izo?
Caster of Makuzu:
I was hoping to settle this more peacefully, but it seems you and my lord were a poor match for each other...
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hey! You with the snake woman! What the hell are you doing with him!? You two been in cahoots all along or something!?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Yes, we were. Sorry for not telling you sooner.
Fujimaru 1:
Huh!?
Fujimaru 2:
Sakamoto!?
Nagao Kagetora:
What!?
Nagao Kagetora:
I knew you didn't seem trustworthy, but still...
Mori Nagayoshi:
Dammit! I knew there was something fishy about him right from the get-go!
Caster of Makuzu:
Oh Sakamoto, you really are an incorrigible tease,
aren't you? Oh well, never mind that.
Caster of Makuzu:
There. You should be able to remove your restraints now.
Nagao Kagetora:
...So we can. What's going on here?
Caster of Makuzu:
Allow me to introduce myself more fully this time.
I am a Caster. My True Name is Maxwell.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Maxwell... As in the nineteenth-century mathematician?
Maxwell:
Ah, so you've heard my name before. Well, strictly speaking, that isn't quite who I am, but it's close enough for now.
Mori Nagayoshi:
So, what? You're saying you're not our enemy after all, Caster?
Maxwell:
No, I'm not. I brought you all here because I have a request to make.
Nagao Kagetora:
A request, you say? I take it this is not on behalf of your lord, but of you personally?
Maxwell:
Yes, that's right. You see, I was hoping...
Maxwell:
...that you could destroy me.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
...It seems it has begun.
Demon King Nobbu:
...
Lowly Infantryman:
We have an emergency!
Lowly Infantryman:
A number of dark giants have appeared all throughout our territory and begun attacking our citizens!
Hijikata Toshizo:
What? Hey, you, what's going on? Did you do this!?
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Don't be ridiculous. My loyalties lie solely with Lady Nobunaga. Don't you lump me in with those cultists.
Infantrywoman Okita:
Then what are those things!?
Akechi Mitsuhide:
...They've started the creation of their so-called paradise.
Dark Giant:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!!!
Man:
H-help meee! Aaaaaahhh!!!
Child:
Waaaaaah!!!
Dark Giant:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!!!
Mother:
Don't worry about me! Just get out of here! Go! Run!
Child:
Waaaaaah! I don't wanna go without you!
Mother:
Oh, Buddha! I beg of you!
Take me if you must, but please, let my son live!
Child:
Waaaaaah! Mommy! Mommyyyyyy!
Dark Giant:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!!!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Yes, this Singularity's goal is to unite all of Japan,
but there was more to it than that.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
It also contained a Holy Grail...a powerful repository of magical energy with the capacity to throw history off its original course.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
The high priest never had any interest in unifying the country. All he cared about was getting his hands on the Holy Grail before anyone else could.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Basically, he ignored the contest to unite Japan entirely so he could sneak in and make off with the prize.
Fujimaru 1:
That devious bastard!
Chief Retainer Mash:
You said it, Senpai! That goes against every written and unwritten rule in the entire Warring States period!
Fujimaru 2:
Aha. And because he wasn't a Nobbu...
Chief Retainer Mash:
Right. Nobunagas are compelled to do battle with other Nobunagas.
Chief Retainer Mash:
But since he wasn't one, he avoided fighting neighboring provinces in favor of focusing solely on the Holy Grail...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Right. The high priest was never even a Master.
At first, he was just a monk like any other.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
It was only after he found the Holy Grail that he summoned a strange Servant.
Nagao Kagetora:
What do you mean “strange”?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
I mean that this Servant would normally never even exist.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
He only showed up here thanks to the Atlas Institute, and the far-future technology that was used to create it.
Maxwell:
That would be me, Maxwell's Demon.
Fujimaru 1:
Is that like a famous demon?
Chief Retainer Mash:
I think it was a fictional demon created for a thought experiment.
Fujimaru 2:
You mean like in that manga and novels and stuff?
Maxwell:
Well now. I wasn't aware I was so popular.
Maxwell:
Yes, that's right. I'm a fictional demon who was imagined as a way to demonstrate how the second law of thermodynamics might be broken.
Maxwell:
And now, for some reason, I have found myself in this world with a Spirit Origin of my own.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Thermo...what now? The hell are you talking about!?
Maxwell:
Assuming we all make it back home intact, I encourage you to look it up online when you have a chance.
Maxwell:
To make a long story short, my Noble Phantasm generates limitless magical energy...
Maxwell:
...and now, my lord is using that energy to capture the Holy Grail War and thereby conquer this world.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Limitless magical energy...? Are there really no caveats to it? I thought truly limitless energy was impossible.
Chief Retainer Mash:
If this is true, it would be one of the greatest nonscientific marvels in the history of mankind...
Maxwell:
It's true, but the caveat is that it could never exist in the normal world. Even in your own time, no one has managed any practical application of this thought experiment.
Maxwell:
But here...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Right. This Singularity was generated by the Atlas Institute's Logos Reenactor Generic simulation device.
Maxwell:
Exactly. My existence as a Servant, along with my infinite energy-generating Noble Phantasm, are only possible in a simulation like this.
Nagao Kagetora:
I see. And now, your Master has attained limitless magical energy thanks to you.
Nagao Kagetora:
With power like that, it would certainly be trivial to emerge triumphant in a Holy Grail War.
Maxwell:
That's not to say it was easy, believe me.
I'm so weak that I can't even fight my own battles.
Maxwell:
Instead, I ran myself ragged making Heroic Spirit Soldiers and negotiating as best I could with the other daimyo.
Maxwell:
...At any rate, we're here now. This underground facility, built below the Makuzu headquarters, is the hub of our entire operation...
Maxwell:
The Perpetual Magical Energy Generator operated by Maxwell's Demon.
Nagao Kagetora:
So that's the Magical Reactor that generates limitless magical energy.
Maxwell:
Indeed. That core in the middle there is my Noble Phantasm, where Maxwell's Demon is contained.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hold on. What's in those tube-looking things?
Maxwell:
Ah yes, those are the children who came here from nearby villages. The machine draws on their magical energy in order to operate.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Huh!? Why would you do that? I thought the point of your Noble Phantasm was to generate limitless magical energy!?
Maxwell:
Unfortunately, my perpetual motion machine turned out to be a fraud.
Maxwell:
My Noble Phantasm can't operate solely on its own. It requires a bit of pure magical energy to get it moving.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Pure magical energy...
So you mean the children's life force.
Maxwell:
That's right. Children are an excellent source of pure magical energy, after all.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Damn, this Noble Phantasm's even worse than I thought.
Maxwell:
Indeed. Frankly, as I am a mere imagined demon who wishes to create a true perpetual motion machine, this thing is an abomination to me too.
High Priest of Makuzu:
...Now I see. So that's why you chose to betray me and have them try to destroy you.
Fujimaru 1:
It's the high priest!
Fujimaru 2:
Let these kids go right now!
High Priest of Makuzu:
Oh, don't worry. Maxwell's Demon only needs a small amount of pure magical energy to operate.
High Priest of Makuzu:
All we have to do is change out the children inside a few times a month, and everyone else can enjoy the benefits of Lord Makuzu. A pauper's price for a king's bounty.
Nagao Kagetora:
What's wrong with you!? How could you possibly think something so monstrous is acceptable!?
High Priest of Makuzu:
Why not?
High Priest of Makuzu:
How is it any different from the way you daimyo grow fat off the taxes you keep collecting?
Mori Nagayoshi:
That is pure bullshit and you know it!
Mori Nagayoshi:
You're killing kids just to put food on your plate! You have NO business lecturing us about the way of the world!
High Priest of Makuzu:
Hmph, this is exactly why I detest trying to reason with stubborn fools like you. Why can't you understand?
High Priest of Makuzu:
It is a simple calculus, really. We offer a tiny sacrifice, and in exchange, the masses can enjoy peace and happiness. What more could a unified nation desire?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
A tiny sacrifice, huh... You've got a point. If that was enough to save everyone else, maybe it really would be the right thing to do.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Sakamoto!?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
But the thing is...it's never the people in power like you making that sacrifice, is it?
High Priest of Makuzu:
...What's your point?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
My investigation has shown that your so-called “tiny sacrifice” has been growing rather rapidly, hasn't it?
High Priest of Makuzu:
...
Sakamoto Ryouma:
You said you'd “only” need to change these children out a few times a month? At this rate, you're going to need far more children than you're using now.
Maxwell:
Exactly. By continuously generating magical energy on an impossible scale...
Maxwell:
...you're causing Maxwell's Demon to accumulate fatal errors, a buildup of material debt.
Maxwell:
At some point, this small-scale simulation alone won't be enough to cover for it.
Maxwell:
That's why you're planning to use this Singularity as a toehold to begin eroding the real world as well.
High Priest of Makuzu:
It doesn't matter if this world is real or not. All that matters is that I now control limitless magical energy.
High Priest of Makuzu:
If anything, it would be wrong of me not to use it to bring about paradise on earth and free all living things of their suffering.
High Priest of Makuzu:
Yes, that's right. I'm going to need even more magical energy if I'm to save more lives. The only way to save the living creatures of this world is to take matters into my own hands.
High Priest of Makuzu:
So I must generate even greater amounts of magical energy to save as many creatures as I can, even if I must sacrifice this world to do so.
High Priest of Makuzu:
This limitless power will let me save even more living creatures!
Fujimaru 1:
You're off your rocker...
Fujimaru 2:
The ends don't justify the means!
High Priest of Makuzu:
All right, enough talk. It's time to break through this world's shell and use my power to bring about true paradise!
Dark Giant:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!!!
Nagao Kagetora:
Are those... Those are the same kind of dark giants we saw in the Imperial Capital! Only there's three of them now!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Who cares how many there are!?
We've just gotta kill 'em all anyway!
Nagao Kagetora:
That's a...really simply way of looking at it,
but you know what...I like it.
Nagao Kagetora:
All right then, let's go!
Bishamonten's protection is with us!
--BATTLE--
Dark Giant:
RRRAAAHHH...!
Dark Giant:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!!!
Mori Nagayoshi:
What's with these things?
Every time you kill one, more pop up in its place!
High Priest of Makuzu:
Are you truly so surprised?
High Priest of Makuzu:
After all, Lord Makuzu's limitless magical energy can make as many of them as I wish.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Hmm, I don't like how this is going. Let's fall back for now. This place is too cramped to give them a real fight.
Oryou:
It's frogshit that these guys get infinite respawns. Tomoe would go ballistic on no good cheating cheaters like them!
Fujimaru 1:
You heard Sakamoto, guys! Let's all fall back for now!
Fujimaru 2:
Let's come back once we've come up with a plan!
High Priest of Makuzu:
...You poor fools. You still don't realize there is no escape from my paradise.
Dark Giant:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!
Mori Nagayoshi:
The hell!?
Those things are all over the place even out here!?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Does this mean they're popping up across the entire Singularity?
Maxwell:
Afraid so. They're essentially magical energy distortions that emerge as byproducts of my Noble Phantasm.
Maxwell:
To put it another way, they're like a chain of fatal errors in the system keeping this world running.
Nagao Kagetora:
What you're saying is that they signify the fast-approaching end of this world... I see what they mean when they speak of lands where even the gods fear to tread...
High Priest of Makuzu:
You see? As I said, there is no escape.
High Priest of Makuzu:
Now, behold Lord Makuzu's true form!
God of Makuzu:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!!!
Chief Retainer Mash:
This giant's magical energy signal is even stronger than the others! And what's that behind it? Is that...a hole?
High Priest of Makuzu:
This is the god of Makuzu's true form!
High Priest of Makuzu:
With a heart of infinity embedded within his flesh, he can make any wish come true, even as it remains unfulfilled.
High Priest of Makuzu:
Now, there is nothing and no one left who can stop me! Go on, my lord! Squash them like the insects they are!
God of Makuzu:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!
Maxwell:
We're too late...
Maxwell:
There's no stopping this now.
Maxwell:
What you see there is a truly omnipotent demon, able to remake every aspect of this world at will thanks to his inexhaustible magical energy.
Maxwell:
That...is Maxwell's Demon.
God of Makuzu:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!
Mori Nagayoshi:
I don't give a rat's ass about that crap!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Dammit! My Ningen Mukotsu isn't even scratching it!
Nagao Kagetora:
...
Maxwell:
Now what do I do? It's even stronger than I'd calculated... No, it's worse than that.
Maxwell:
The reactor core is already going haywire.
There's nothing we can do to stop it...
Nagao Kagetora:
...Get out of here, Fujimaru.
I'll handle this.
Nagao Kagetora:
Don't worry, I'm sure I can at least take it down with me. Remember, I'm still the avatar of Bishamonten.
Fujimaru 1:
I can't just leave you behind, Kagetora!
Fujimaru 2:
But we still have to save the children!
Nagao Kagetora:
...?
Nagao Kagetora:
Come on now, don't be silly.
Nagao Kagetora:
Surely you can see that there's nothing you alone can do against such an immeasurably powerful being as that.
Nagao Kagetora:
And there is no shame in the weak allowing the strong to sacrifice so that they may live.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Kagetora, Senpai doesn't–
Nagao Kagetora:
That high priest person there has a point.
Nagao Kagetora:
At times...small sacrifices must be made for the greater good.
Nagao Kagetora:
As a leader, your job is to decide what those sacrifices will be. Now is the time to make a small sacrifice to fulfill your greater obligation.
Fujimaru 1:
...I don't agree with that.
Fujimaru 2:
When it's about people's lives, there's no such thing as a small sacrifice.
Nagao Kagetora:
...
Nagao Kagetora:
You know, I've been wondering this about you ever since we met.
Nagao Kagetora:
Why do you go so far to save others without any regard for your own well-being?
Nagao Kagetora:
Especially given how you're just an ordinary, weak, powerless human.
Fujimaru 1:
I mean, it's just more fun having more friends around, right?
Fujimaru 2:
Because I know everyone else has my back.
Nagao Kagetora:
...?
Nagao Kagetora:
...Ahaha! Ahahahaha!
Nagao Kagetora:
Is that a joke? Have your allies truly left you so blind to your own weakness?
Nagao Kagetora:
Ahahahahaha! You do know this is a world where the weak die off and the strong thrive, right?
Nagao Kagetora:
You actually believe that accomplishing nothing on your own and relying on others for everything is all right?
Nagao Kagetora:
Ahahahahahaha!
Nagao Kagetora:
I've never seen a human so weak and pathetic!
It's painful just to look at you!
Nagao Kagetora:
You can't do anything without relying on others to help you!
Nagao Kagetora:
You expose your weakness for all to see, and have the audacity to proclaim your lack of power for all to hear!
Nagao Kagetora:
And on top of that, you say you want to save everyone around you? Ahahahaha!
Nagao Kagetora:
I've never seen such arrogance!
I've never seen such impertinence!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
...
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hey! Where the hell do you get off talking down to my Master like that all of a sudden!?
Nagao Kagetora:
Indeed, yours is a tremendous,
impossibly audacious wish.
Nagao Kagetora:
One that is worth risking everything I have to fulfill!
Fujimaru 1:
Kagetora...!
Fujimaru 2:
You won't have to do it alone! We'll all help!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Couldn't you have just led with that, huh!? 'Sides, everyone here knows full well how amazing our Master is!
Nagao Kagetora:
I'm sorry, I was just making a clean break. It's important to go into these things fresh, after all.
Nagao Kagetora:
...Brother...
Nagao Kagetora:
...I think I finally understand what it is that makes people human.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Kagetora...!
Nagao Kagetora:
Now then, high priest...this Lord Makuzu is supposed to be a god, yes?
Nagao Kagetora:
Even with all that incredibly arrogant nonsense you've been spouting since we first met, I trust you still remember who it is you're up against?
Nagao Kagetora:
Just to be sure, let me remind you now.
I am Nagao Kagetora, Echigo's god of war!
High Priest of Makuzu:
Is that meant to impress me? You've already introduced yourself. Why bother doing it again?
High Priest of Makuzu:
You really are just a hopeless Echigo bumpkin of a daimyo, aren't you?
Nagao Kagetora:
As Himezuru flies, Sanchoumou plays...
Nagao Kagetora:
As Tanikiri crosses, Gokotai falls back...
Chief Retainer Mash:
It...it looks like several different swords are gathering around Kagetora!
Nagao Kagetora:
As Saiken worships and Shichisei flies by...
Nagao Kagetora:
What Taimatsu lights up is the treasured spear of Biten...
High Priest of Makuzu:
Wh-what's going on? What is that behind you!?
Nagao Kagetora:
Oh? I'm surprised you can see. Guess you are a follower of the Buddha, no matter how rotten you've become.
Nagao Kagetora:
This is Biten, my guardian. Thanks to them, I have accumulated countless invaluable blades to vanquish enemies of the Buddha with my Noble Phantasm–
Nagao Kagetora:
The Eight-Bladed Guardian, Touhachi Bishamonten!!!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Whoa, the hell is that thing? I can see it too!
High Priest of Makuzu:
I-impossible! Th-the gods and the Buddha would never appear in this world!
High Priest of Makuzu:
This cannot be happening!
Nagao Kagetora:
Fear me, god of Makuzu, for I am Bishamonten!
Now have at you!
--BATTLE--
Nagao Kagetora:
Gallop, Houshou Tsukige!
Bishamonten's protection is with us!
Nagao Kagetora:
Bishamonten's...Eight Aspect Rotating Formation!
God of Makuzu:
RRRAAAaaahhh...
Nagao Kagetora:
How's that!?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Damn, war god, way to go!
That thing's really disappearing!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
She literally is an avatar of Bishamonten, isn't she? No wonder Uesugi Kenshin was known as the strongest daimyo of the Warring States period.
Oryou:
Even Oryou is surprised by how strong she is.
Are we sure she's even human?
High Priest of Makuzu:
This can't be happening! Bishamonten can't possibly have possessed you! He can't!
Nagao Kagetora:
...Maybe he has, maybe he hasn't. What matters is that your dreams of “paradise” have come to an end.
High Priest of Makuzu:
No! I refuse to accept this! There are no gods or Buddha in this world! None! If there were, they should have shown up when–
High Priest of Makuzu:
No matter! All I know for sure is,
there are no gods in this world! None!
Chief Retainer Mash:
I-is that...the light from a Holy Grail!?
High Priest of Makuzu:
That's right! I still have this! Now, return, Lord Makuzu! Use the power of the Holy Grail to return to glorious life!
High Priest of Makuzu:
As long as I have the Holy Grail and Maxwell's Demon, my true, glorious god will return as many times as I wish!
H：???:
Not if I have anything to say about it.
High Priest of Makuzu:
Wh-who are you!?
Chief Retainer Mash:
It's...!
Part Four, Section Three: The Demon's Thunderous Descent
Child:
Waaaaaah! Mommyyy!
Mother:
Oh, gods! Oh Buddha! Please, I beg of you!
Take me if you must, but let my son live!
Dark Giant:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!
???:
That was a close one.
Go on, child, take your mother and get out of here.
Child:
Who are you, m-miss?
Dark Giant:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!
???:
So, these things keep coming. It seems we'll need to take this a bit more seriously than I thought, Rengoku.
Mother:
Did the Buddha send you!?
Mother:
Oh, thank you! Thank you!
Child:
Thanks, miss! You're awesome!
???:
Never mind that. Just hurry and get out of here. Be sure to cherish your mother. And don't skimp on the shoulder rubs.
Child:
I won't! I promise!
Mother:
P-please, could you at least tell us your name?
???:
My name? Hmm... All right. I...
Majin Okita Souji:
...am the mysterious Majin Okita Souji!
Lowly Infantryman:
Those giants are popping up all throughout our territory! We're doing our best to fight them off, but things aren't looking good!
Oda Nobukatsu:
I knew there was no way we could take these things!
They just keep coming no matter how many we kill!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Quit whining!
You can handle a bunch of glorified mud dolls!
Chacha:
Are you nuts, you scary-looking jerk!? If Chacha knew things would come to this, Chacha would have stayed in Chacha's castle!
Okita Souji:
I'm worried about Master!
We need to go make sure [♂ he's /♀ she's] all right!
Dark Giant:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Dammit, it's getting closer! Come on, Okita!
We'll take it down together!
Dark Giant:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!
Okita Souji:
I would, Mr. Hijikata,
but there's another one over here!
Li Shuwen:
Ha!!!
Dark Giant:
RAAAH!?
Li Shuwen:
Sorry for taking so long to get here. It seems things could be going better, to say the least.
Okita Souji:
No worries, Mr. Shuwen! I'm just glad you're here now! We could use all the help we can get!
Dark Giant:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!
Okada Izo:
Rrrah, rrrah, rrrah! Is that all you things can say!?
Okada Izo:
Heehahahahaha! It's a good thing Okada Izo,
genius swordsman, is here to help too!
Okita Souji:
Oh, hey, Okada. Didn't see you there.
Okita Souji:
Uh, thanks for chipping in, I guess.
Okada Izo:
The hell!? The old man gets a hero's welcome,
and you can't even muster a smile for me!?
Hijikata Toshizo:
Damn. At the rate we're chipping away at them,
I don't see how we'll be able to go help the others.
Demon King Nobbu:
Don't worry, you guys did great hanging in there.
I think we can figure something out now.
Okita Souji:
Where the hell have you been, Nobbu!?
We could've really used your help a while ago!
Demon King Nobbu:
Sorry about that.
It took me a little time to round up reinforcements.
Demon King Nobbu:
All right, you're up, Gonroku!
Demon King Nobbu:
Wahahaha! If there isn't a way forward when Shibata starts, there will be by the time he's done!
Demon King Nobbu:
I don't know who first said that wherever Oda goes, so goes Shibata the Demon, but damn if they weren't spot-on!
Shibata the Demon:
Charge! Advaaaaaance!
Chacha:
F-Father!? But Chacha thought you'd vanished!
Akechi Mitsuhide:
He did. Lord Shibata did indeed disappear after falling to your blades.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
But as a Servant, who's to say he cannot simply be summoned again?
Hijikata Toshizo:
You actually resummoned him?
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Indeed. Normally, that would be quite a difficult feat.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
But though I may not look it, I am still a Caster,
and such rituals are my specialty.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
So, while it wasn't easy by any means,
I was able to employ my arts to resummon him.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Besides, this battle is most meaningful for those of us who swear loyalty to the Oda clan.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
No self-respecting Oda retainer could refuse a summons from a Demon King Nobunaga who carries the essence of all other Nobunagas.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Hehe... I only wish I could see the look on Monkey's face as he watches us from the Throne of Heroes!
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Bahahahaha! You hear that, you big bald rat!? You're sitting this one out, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it!
Shibata the Demon:
Don't worry, Lady Nobunaga!
Your faithful Gonroku will handle everything!
Shibata the Demon:
CHAAAAAARGE!!!
Demon King Nobunaga:
There we go. First, Gonroku will clear a path, and the rest of us will follow behind him to the Makuzu's headquarters!
Demon King Nobunaga:
This may be a little strange for me to say, but I'm going to say it anyway.
Demon King Nobunaga:
“The enemy awaits at Honnoji!”
Demon King Nobunaga:
Sorry I took so long to get here, everyone.
Fujimaru 1:
Nobbu!
Fujimaru 2:
I knew you'd come through for us!
Mori Nagayoshi:
'Bout time you got here, Boss!
High Priest of Makuzu:
D-Demon King Nobunaga!? But you're supposed to be dead! What's the meaning of this, Caster!?
Maxwell:
It's very simple, sir. Demon King Nobunaga did die.
At least, the one from Azuchi did.
Maxwell:
I'm sorry, I should have introduced you sooner.
This Demon King Nobunaga is the one from Echigo.
Maxwell:
I don't blame you for being confused.
Even I can't tell them apart.
High Priest of Makuzu:
You... You set me up!
High Priest of Makuzu:
Fine then!
I'll just have to dispose of you all at once!
High Priest of Makuzu:
Return to me, Lord Makuzu! Use the power of the Holy Grail to return to glorious life!
Nagao Kagetora:
It's still regenerating!?
God of Makuzu:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!!!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Now I see. That thing really is a monster on par with the gods. No... It's pretty much a god in its own right by now.
Demon King Nobunaga:
So this is why so many of me were summoned here:
to bring this thing down.
High Priest of Makuzu:
You have no place here, Demon King Nobunaga, enemy of all living creatures! Now fall before the might of Lord Makuzu!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Enemy of all living creatures? Why yes, that's exactly what I am. For I am the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven.
Demon King Nobunaga:
...No, even the Sixth Heaven fails to fully capture what I've become.
Demon King Nobunaga:
I am the embodiment of every possible permutation of myself across the boundless realms of possibility.
Demon King Nobunaga:
I am Oda Nobunaga,
Demon King of the Myriad Heavens!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Mwahahahaha! I never thought the day would come when I'd be the one setting Honnoji on fire!
High Priest of Makuzu:
I-impossible! You're the embodiment of all Nobunagas!? But, the only way you could do such a thing is with limitless magical ener
High Priest of Makuzu:
...!
Caster! Is this your doing!?
D：Maxwell:
Indeed, I'm supplying them with all the magical energy necessary. Don't worry, I'm paying the cost for it myself.
Fujimaru 1:
Is that your Noble Phantasm, Caster!?
Fujimaru 2:
Caster, you're bleeding!
D：Maxwell:
It's all thanks to Kagetora that I was able to regain some measure of control.
D：Maxwell:
It may be a little damaged,
but it still works perfectly well.
D：Maxwell:
Besides, I couldn't stand the thought of that flawed reactor core continuing to operate.
D：Maxwell:
My only desire is a true perpetual motion machine–
the heart of infinity that mankind has always dreamed of.
D：Maxwell:
So on that note, knock yourself out, Nobunaga. There's enough magical energy here to do whatever you like.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Mwahahaha! I like the way you think, Caster.
As for you, Makuzu, or whatever your name is...
Demon King Nobunaga:
I've never been one to suffer fools,
and I have even less patience for blowhard gods!
High Priest of Makuzu:
Khh...! Curse you! Curse you! Curse yooouuu!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Let's go, Fujimaru!
This all ends here and now!
--BATTLE--
God of Makuzu:
RRRAAAAAAHHH... RRRAAAAAAHHH!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Mwahahaha! This thing just won't stay down, huh? I'm impressed!
Demon King Nobunaga:
I guess all that bragging about it being a god wasn't just talk!
Nagao Kagetora:
I can't believe it still won't vanish!
This is getting absurd, even for me!
Maxwell:
The Holy Grail in its chest must be keeping it anchored to this space.
Maxwell:
I doubt we'll be able to kill that thing for good without doing something about the Grail...
Maxwell:
So, things being what they are, I'm willing to admit that my Noble Phantasm can be a royal pain in the ass.
Mori Nagayoshi:
I've been hacking away at that thing over and over, but it just won't come off! The hell're we supposed to do!?
Okita Souji:
If it won't come off, why don't we just destroy it?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Okita! ...Yeah, that might just work!
Okita Souji:
Prepare to face the power of my secret technique!
Okita Souji:
Mumyou Sandanzuki!!!
Okita Souji:
My secret technique is the mumyou's light, one that can sever delusions. Nothing can defend against it.
Chief Retainer Mash:
She...she gouged a hole in the reactor core!
Maxwell:
Well now, so she destroyed the entity's reactor core altogether, did she? Or saturated it, rather. Can't say I saw that coming. I wonder if she's aware that's tantamount to challenging the laws of physics themselves?
High Priest of Makuzu:
This...this can't be happening... My Holy Grail...
Lord Makuzu... All of it, disappearing...
High Priest of Makuzu:
It's just like what happened before... I suppose this means there are no gods and no Buddha in this world...
Demon King Nobunaga:
Oh no, the gods do exist.
Demon King Nobunaga:
You can find them right inside Fujimaru here.
High Priest of Makuzu:
What? You're telling me this...this...child is a god?
Demon King Nobunaga:
No. I'm telling you the gods most cherish those who help themselves.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Each individual person's potential may be limited, but the potential that lies in all people? That is the true face of the gods.
High Priest of Makuzu:
I don't believe it... You're supposed to be the enemy of all living things! The destructor of the gods!
High Priest of Makuzu:
But instead, you sound like...like a guardian of mankind...
Nagao Kagetora:
So, it's finally over...
Nagao Kagetora:
Given how obsessed that priest was with the gods and all living things, he must have once been a fervent believer.
Maxwell:
Yes...he truly was. My Master devoted his life to saving all manner of living things–to saving the whole world in lieu of the Buddha's salvation.
Maxwell:
But along the way, he lost sight of what he set out to do, and his methods only got more twisted from there.
Maxwell:
Anyway... It looks like this is goodbye.
Thank you, everyone. You've been a tremendous help.
Maxwell:
Unfortunately, there's no way for me to exist in human history, so I won't be able to return the favor...
Maxwell:
...but if mankind ever manages to harness truly unlimited energy, then, perhaps, we may meet again.
Maxwell:
...Now then, I'd best be on my way.
Maxwell:
May mankind's future be ever better,
and ever brighter...
Nagao Kagetora:
...It seems this is where I must say goodbye, too. My time as your retainer may have been short, but it was very fulfilling.
Nagao Kagetora:
I guess this role suited me better than I thought. Plus, I didn't have to make too many hard choices this way.
Fujimaru 1:
Thanks for everything, Kagetora.
Fujimaru 2:
Will we see you again someday, Kagetora?
Nagao Kagetora:
Ahahahahahaha!
Nagao Kagetora:
If you should ever find yourself in trouble, I encourage you to pray to Bishamonten with all your heart.
Nagao Kagetora:
Do that, and I shall cross all three thousand worlds to rush to your aid!
Nagao Kagetora:
But for now, this is goodbye.
Farewell, my first and final Master!
Nagao Kagetora:
May Bishamonten's protection be with you!
Chief Retainer Mash:
I'm so glad we got to meet her. She really lived up to her name as Echigo's god of war.
Okada Izo:
Hey! Not to rain on your heartfelt goodbyes or anything, but I'm pretty sure this simulation's about to fall apart!
Okita Souji:
Oh, hey, Okada. Didn't know you were still alive.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
I'm glad to see you're doing well, Izo.
Okada Izo:
The hell I am! Do you have any idea what I've been through thanks to you!? AGAIN!?
Oryou:
Yeah, yeah, Oryou's sure it was rough.
Anyway, Oryou and Ryouma are gonna head back now.
Oryou:
Oryou'll also be nice and bring Izo to get him out of your hair.
Okada Izo:
Huh!? Hey! Put me down, Oryou!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
All right, Lady Nobunaga, I'm leaving the rest to you.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Hmph, so you know even more than I thought you did, huh? I knew I couldn't let my guard down around you.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Not at all, Lady Nobunaga. I could never hope to match up to you. Anyway...see you all later.
Da Vinci:
There, we're finally back online!
Hey, Fujimaru! You okay in there?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Da Vinci! It's so good to hear from you again!
Da Vinci:
I wish I could say the same, but I'm afraid I'm calling with seriously bad news. The Singularity in that simulation is going berserk.
Da Vinci:
The way things are going, the virtual pseudo-Spiritrons in that box could end up growing so large that they clash with the real world, causing a massive explosion.
Da Vinci:
And that'd be it for us.
Da Vinci:
A blast of the scale I'm projecting would annihilate all of Chaldea with room to spare.
Chief Retainer Mash:
B-but, how is that possible!?
Chief Retainer Mash:
I thought Maxwell's Demon and the Holy Grail that were causing this Singularity were gone!
Da Vinci:
I'm afraid it's not quite that simple. It looks like those weren't the only things that created and sustained this Singularity.
Da Vinci:
From what I've been able to piece together,
it's because a major abnormality took place in 1582.
Da Vinci:
There, we're finally back online!
Hey, Fujimaru! You okay in there?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Da Vinci! It's so good to hear from you again!
Sion:
I am afraid this is not the good news it may seem to be. The Singularity in that simulation is going berserk.
Sion:
The way things are going, the virtual pseudo-Spiritrons in that box could end up growing so large that they clash with the real world, causing a massive explosion.
Sion:
And that would be the end for us.
Sion:
The Wandering Sea may survive, but the blast would annihilate the entire Chaldea Base.
Chief Retainer Mash:
B-but, how is that possible!?
Chief Retainer Mash:
I thought Maxwell's Demon and the Holy Grail that were causing this Singularity were gone!
Da Vinci:
I'm afraid it's not quite that simple. It looks like those weren't the only things that created and sustained this Singularity.
Da Vinci:
From what I've been able to piece together,
it's because a major abnormality took place in 1582.
Fujimaru 1:
1582...?
Fujimaru 2:
Isn't that the year Honnoji went up in flames!?
Demon King Nobunaga:
...Is that so?
--ARROW--
Demon King Nobunaga:
So you're saying that for this Singularity to go away, I have to disappear with it, huh?
Chief Retainer Mash:
That...that can't be right...
Hijikata Toshizo:
Now I see. This puts what I heard somewhere before in a different light.
Okita Souji:
So, if this Demon King Nobbu doesn't disappear, the whole Singularity's going to start destroying everything...
Demon King Nobunaga:
Guess that means this is goodbye then.
But hey, don't worry about it.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Seeing as I'm an amalgamation of many possible Nobunagas, all linked to this Singularity...
Demon King Nobunaga:
...I already figured there was no way I was gonna last much longer.
Fujimaru 1:
Wait, hang on. If you disappear...what happens to Chaldea's Nobbu?
Fujimaru 2:
But...if you go, then...
Demon King Nobunaga:
Aw, come on. I already died at Honnoji once. Historically speaking, I'm pretty much required to disappear here.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Besides, if I stayed alive, this place would just evolve into a new Singularity...
Demon King Nobunaga:
...with a name like Singularity NOBU, Burning Demon Realm Honnoji or something like that.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Actually that does sound kind of awesome! Wahahaha!
Okita Souji:
What's so funny!? Don't you get it!? If you disappear now, you'll never get to see Master again!
Okita Souji:
For that matter, where do you get off acting like a big shot who doesn't care if she dies all of a sudden!?
Okita Souji:
Where's the dumb Nobbu who'd be flailing around screaming about not wanting to die at a time like this?
Okita Souji:
I swear, what's wrong with you!?
Demon King Nobunaga:
If I stayed alive, this place would just turn into one of those... What were they called again?
Demon King Nobunaga:
Oh, right. Lostbelts.
This place would totally turn into a Lostbelt.
Demon King Nobunaga:
No, wait, I've got it.
In this case, it'd probably be a Nobbelt! Hahahahaha!
Okita Souji:
What's so funny!? Don't you get it!? If you disappear now, you'll never get to see Master again!
Okita Souji:
For that matter, where do you get off acting like a big shot who doesn't care if she dies all of a sudden!?
Okita Souji:
Where's the dumb Nobbu who'd be flailing around screaming about not wanting to die at a time like this?
Okita Souji:
I swear, what's wrong with you!?
Okita Souji:
...I don't get it!
Demon King Nobunaga:
...
Demon King Nobunaga:
...Hahahahahahaha!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Sorry, sorry. I just never expected to hear anything like that from you of all people, Okita.
Demon King Nobunaga:
I guess the Chaldea version of me must have really felt at home there.
Okita Souji:
Then why would you–
Demon King Nobunaga:
Because I'm not my Chaldean self any more.
Demon King Nobunaga:
...Now go on. Get out of here.
Okita Souji:
...
Hijikata Toshizo:
All right. See you around, Demon King of the Sixth Heaven. I hope you keep that new look. It's a good one.
Okita Souji:
...Don't be silly, Mr. Hijikata.
This is still Nobbu we're talking about.
Okita Souji:
Though I guess I have to admit,
this is a pretty cool look, too.
Okita Souji:
...Okay, Oda Nobunaga. If nothing else, I'm sure we'll get to kill each other in another Holy Grail War someday.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Looks like this is goodbye for us too then,
Master, since I'm staying here and all.
Fujimaru 1:
Mori...
Fujimaru 2:
You're not coming with us?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Well, you know, in your time, you can't just go around killing people for looking at you funny, right?
Mori Nagayoshi:
I don't think I'd fit in. I'm too used to pulling out my spear soon as something pisses me off.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hell, even my allies were practically dancing in the streets when I finally kicked the bucket.
Mori Nagayoshi:
So just go back home where you belong and don't worry about me.
Mash:
Mori... No, Lord Mori Nagayoshi, First Spear of the Chaldea Clan...thank you for your service.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! You really got the hang of this Chief Retainer thing, huh, Mash!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Take good care of my Master, all right!?
Da Vinci:
Okay then, let's get you two home!
Da Vinci:
Oh, and don't worry about Chacha and the other Servants. I already brought them back.
Sion:
All right, I think it is time you two came back to Chaldea Base!
Sion:
Oh, and do not worry about Chacha and the other Servants. I have brought them home, safe and sound.
Fujimaru 1:
Lady Nobunaga... I'm sure we'll meet again someday!
Fujimaru 2:
I'll be waiting for you, Nobbu!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Oh yeah, don't think you're rid of me that easily! Prepare yourselves! The next time we meet, I'll be coming for your world!
Demon King Nobunaga:
...
Demon King Nobunaga:
Hey, Katsuzou. Are you sure you wouldn't rather have gone with them?
Mori Nagayoshi:
You know, Boss, I've been thinking. Master was great and all, but [♂ he /♀ she] was also way too soft, right?
Mori Nagayoshi:
So I can't help but wonder what kinda world
[♂ he /♀ she] comes from that let [♂ him /♀ her] survive this long.
Demon King Nobunaga:
...Good question.
Demon King Nobunaga:
I guess you could say the fact that a weakling like [♂ him /♀ her] has survived and thrived this long...
Demon King Nobunaga:
...just proves that mankind succeeded at creating a world that has room for all kinds of people, not just the strong.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahaha! I don't know what that's all about, but whatever it is, I can tell it means I'm behind the times!
Mori Nagayoshi:
No wonder I couldn't hold a candle to [♂ him /♀ her]!
Demon King Nobunaga:
On second thought, Katsuzou,
you should go with [♂ him /♀ her] after all.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Keep [♂ him /♀ her] safe in my absence.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hey, c'mon, Boss. I just told you, a guy like me tagging along'd only make trouble for [♂ him /♀ her].
Demon King Nobunaga:
Hahahahaha! And what about the trouble you'd make for me if you stayed!?
Demon King Nobunaga:
Ranmaru wouldn't so much as give me the time of day if I took you down to the underworld with me!
Mori Nagayoshi:
...
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hah, all right, you win. If you're gonna bring Naritoshi into this, I guess I got no choice but to take you up on it.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Still, you sure [♂ he's /♀ she's] not gonna mind if I crash at
[♂ his /♀ her] place? I mean, even Regent Lord Toyotomi had a tough time figuring out what to do with me, right?
Demon King Nobunaga:
Hahahahaha! If Fujimaru can figure out how to put you to good use when even Monkey came up short, it'll just go to show what a rare hero [♂ he /♀ she]
really is.
Demon King Nobunaga:
And that would be a [♂ lord /♀ lady] more than worthy of Mori Nagayoshi to serve!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! You got that right!
Mori Nagayoshi:
...Well, see you later, Boss.
Give Naritoshi my regards, all right?
Demon King Nobunaga:
Man oh man, these guys sure like to take their sweet time saying goodbye, don't they?
Demon King Nobunaga:
I think I'd have preferred you offing me when my guard was down after all.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Don't be silly, my lady.
Even I could never hope to kill you twice.
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Then again, if that is your wish, I suppose it would pose a most interesting challenge.
Shibata Katsuie:
Gahahahaha! When did you manage to get yourself a sense of humor, Lord Akechi?
Demon King Nobunaga:
Gonroku... I guess I made you work extra hard this time, didn't I?
Shibata Katsuie:
Not at all, my lady! Besides, I got to see my daughter again for the first time in ages, and I had a chance to truly cut loose with my spear!
Shibata Katsuie:
Monkey may have stolen all my thunder back when we were still alive...
Shibata Katsuie:
...but after today, I'm sure the name
“Shibata the Demon” won't soon be forgotten!
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Agreed! I always thought you and I were the best sort of retainers for Lady Nobunaga, Lord Shibata, and I'm pleased to see you prove me right!
Akechi Mitsuhide:
That bald rat on the other hand, well, he should have been honored merely to be in Lady Nobunaga's presence!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Man, you guys really do hate Monkey, don't you?
Demon King Nobunaga:
Anyway, what do you say we get going?
Demon King Nobunaga:
Mitsuhide! Gonroku!
Like it or not, you're both coming with me!
Akechi Mitsuhide:
Of course, my lady! I would gladly follow you to the gates of hell itself.
Shibata Katsuie:
As would I! Just you wait! It won't be long before even the demons of hell come to tremble at the name Shibata the Demon!
Demon King Nobunaga:
A human life spans but fifty years...
Demon King Nobunaga:
Set against life in the heavens,
it is but a dream...an illusion.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Hahahahahahaha!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Well, it can't be helped!
Epilogue: GUDAGUDA Pipe Dream
???:
...How did it go?
Maxwell's Demon:
Another failure, I'm afraid.
Maxwell's Demon:
Pretty poor showing for a demon, if I do say so myself.
???:
I see. Then perhaps it is still too soon for humanity to wield the power you represent.
Maxwell's Demon:
...Why is it that humans desire infinite energy?
Maxwell's Demon:
They may begin with pure intentions, but in time they inevitably go mad and engineer their own demise.
Maxwell's Demon:
Are we certain that humans truly need infinite energy?
???:
...True, maybe they don't.
???:
But to wish for change in the world is an intrinsic part of what it means to be human.
???:
And my wish, trite though it may be,
is that everyone can live happily.
???:
That's how I ended up creating you,
a demon capable of granting humanity's wishes.
Maxwell's Demon:
Some demon I turned out to be.
I still haven't granted a single wish.
???:
Oh, don't worry about that. There's more to mathematics than simply finding answers.
???:
There's just as much meaning to be found in devising equations, and in the act of proving them.
Maxwell's Demon:
...Are you saying that what people need isn't actually infinite energy, but the process of seeking it?
???:
Correct. It is in the act of seeking one's desire that one always finds hope.
???:
Yes, you may be a demon.
But you exist solely for humanity's benefit.
???:
That makes you a demon of hope.
???:
The day your existence is proven is the day everyone will find happiness.
Maxwell's Demon:
Hahaha. I suppose you're right.
Maxwell's Demon:
Whenever I'm proven to exist, thereby creating the heart of infinity that has long been mankind's ambition, and disproving the second law of thermodynamics...
Maxwell's Demon:
...I promise that will be when I grant the wishes of every person alive.
???:
Then this is goodbye, my kind demon child.
???:
I can't wait for the day when I can finally meet you for real.
Maxwell's Demon:
Me neither. Goodbye, Father. Until we meet again...
Maxwell's Demon:
Though you know, I have to say.
Maxwell's Demon:
Entrusting the demon you made yourself with a wish so cruel and difficult?
Maxwell's Demon:
I swear...humans are incorrigible.
Okita Souji:
(Sigh)...
Mash:
Okita hasn't quite been herself ever since Nobunaga went away, has she?
Fujimaru 1:
I guess she misses her...
Fujimaru 2:
They might've argued a lot, but deep down, they really were great friends.
Okita Souji:
Excuse me!? You think I miss Nobbu!?
Well I don't! Nope! Not one bit!
Okita Souji:
In fact, I'm glad she's gone! I'd throw a victory parade in the streets if there were any streets nearby I could use!
Okita Souji:
Plus, now I won't have to hear her taunt me about how I still don't have a swimsuit of my own! It's the best news I've had in a long time!
Okita Souji:
...
Okita Souji:
...Seriously. Couldn't be more thrilled.
Mash:
Okita...
Demon King Nobbu:
Ahh, there's no bidets like Chaldea bidets.
Demon King Nobbu:
The Warring States period's great and all,
but it's got nothing on modern comforts.
Mash:
Nobunaga!?
Okita Souji:
Wh-what're you doing back here!?
Okita Souji:
Wait, are you seriously doing this again!?
How many times has it been now!?
Demon King Nobbu:
Hey! I was actually willing to die this time, all right? I even did the whole “go out in a blaze of glory” shtick and everything!
Demon King Nobbu:
But before I crossed over to the other side, me and the other Nobunagas decided to have a little confab.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Now that I think about it, it's not like the Chaldea version of me was summoned by or even for this Singularity, right?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
You know, that's a good point!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Out of all the versions of me here, I'm the only one without a connection to this Singularity...
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
In fact, I'm the victim here! Like I was accosted by assailants in dark skintight bodysuits!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Come to think of it, our enemies this time around were pretty dark too, weren't they?
Oda Kippoushi:
So it should be fine for us to just cut this one off from the rest of us and ship her back to Chaldea, right?
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
I see, I see. I should have known a fellow me would be clever enough to pick up on that.
Real-Deal Nobunaga:
Hahahahaha! (Shrill laugh)
Kaiser Nobunaga:
You stay out of this!
It's breaking my immersion!
Summer Nobbu:
Hang on. Doesn't this mean I don't have any connection to this either?
Summer Nobbu:
I mean, I was just licking my wounds at a hot spring when I got sucked in with the rest of you!
Demon King Nobunaga:
No, you were summoned here by the Holy Grail, so you're a different entity from Chaldea's Summer Nobbu.
Summer Nobbu:
Aww man...
Big Nobbu:
Nobu nonono, nobu nobu bu!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Okay, I don't know how to break this to you, but I can't understand a word of your “nobbu nobbu” nonsense.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
In fact, I don't even think you should be counted here with the rest of me.
Demon King Nobunaga:
All right then, Chaldea me, you will be the only one of us to leave this Singularity and watch over you-know-who.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
...You're all good with that?
Demon King Nobunaga:
Oh, it's fine.
Demon King Nobunaga:
As long as you're there, there could well be another chance for the rest of us to materialize again.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Then, we can settle which of us is the true Nobunaga once and for all!
Demon King Nobbu:
So here I am.
Okita Souji:
Say what!? So instead of a Conference of Kiyosu,
you were holding a Conference of Nobunaga!?
Okita Souji:
Also! Isn't that a bit much,
even by GUDAGUDA standards?
Demon King Nobbu:
Hey, it wasn't just me who came back.
There's also Echigo's–
Nagao Kagetora:
NOBUNAGA! What the heck kind of lavatory was that!
When I finished, it shot WATER at my butt!
Nagao Kagetora:
Is it a monster!? Is there some kind of lavatory demon that lies in wait to spray water at unsuspecting butts!?
Mash:
Kagetora! You're here too!?
Nagao Kagetora:
Oh, hello, Fujimaru and Mash.
It's good to see you again.
Nagao Kagetora:
It looks like I've been summoned to Chaldea myself,
though I'm not sure how it happened.
Nagao Kagetora:
Did you pray to Bishamonten for help or something?
Fujimaru 1:
Kagetora!
Demon King Nobbu:
Don't look at me. I didn't invite her.
Fujimaru 2:
Hmm. I might have prayed to Bishamontenwhen I had that stomachache yesterday...
Nagao Kagetora:
Huh? THAT'S why you prayed for Bishamonten's aid?
Over a stomachache!?
Chacha:
Help! Mr. Scaryface is in the cafeteria,
and he's–Huh? Auntie!? You're alive?
Demon King Nobbu:
Hey, Chacha. Thanks again for helping out with Gonroku back there. Anyway, you were saying?
Chacha:
Oh, right! Come quick!
Mr. Scaryface is throwing a fit in the cafeteria!
Okita Souji:
Now what's Mr. Hijikata doing!?
Meunière:
Nooo! Stop! Lunchtime's one of the few times a day I actually get to relax!
Meunière:
Aah! My burger combo!
Goredolf:
S-stop this at once!
You're ruining my dignified lunchtime!
Goredolf:
Nooo! My thick-cut bacon! My soft potato salad!!!
Mori Nagayoshi:
The hell's your problem!?
It was just one pickle!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Those aren't just any pickles!
Those are MY pickles!!!
Fujimaru 1:
Mori!? You're here too!?
Fujimaru 2:
Never mind the pickles now!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hey, Master! Long time no see!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Looks like I'm gonna be sticking around helping you out here, too!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Now what do you say we grab some lunch after I kill this bastard!?
Hijikata Toshizo:
You think you can kill me that easily?
Go ahead and try, you little punk!
Meunière:
Who the hell are these guys!?
Do something, Fujimaru!
Mori Nagayoshi:
What was that? Who do you think you are, giving my Master orders!? Wait right there! Soon as I finish with this guy, you're next!
Meunière:
Aah! Did you bring in that dangerous, obviously crazy Servant!? Dammit, Fujimaru, didn't we talk about this!?
Meunière:
You can't just go around forming contracts with any old Heroic Spirit! There's a reason some–hell, most of them aren't usually summoned!
Goredolf:
Who in the world are these people!?
Explain yourself, Fujimaru!
Mori Nagayoshi:
What was that? Who do you think you are, giving my Master orders!? Wait right there! Soon as I finish with this guy, you're next!
Goredolf:
Gah! Fujimaru, did you bring that obviously dangerous, deranged Servant here!?
Goredolf:
Well, hurry and stop him before it's too late!
Please? Pretty please!?
Demon King Nobbu:
Oh, yeah, I guess I did tell Katsuzou he should come to Chaldea too.
Demon King Nobbu:
Oh well, this is Oni Musashi we're talking about.
Like I say, it can't be helped!
Okita Souji:
Will you knock it off with those cutesy voices!? It's even weirder when you only do them occasionally!
Oda Nobukatsu:
Ah! Could you say that again, Sister!? Oh, but wait till I get out the recorder!
Demon King Nobbu:
Gah! Nobukatsu!? How the hell are you still alive!?
Whatever happened to your Spirit Origin being hollow!?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Haha, there's certainly never a dull moment with you around, is there?
Oryou:
Try to keep it down at mealtime,
or you'll end up like Izo.
Okada Izo:
What's that supposed to mean!?
Li Shuwen:
You know very well what it means.
Okada Izo:
What was that, gramps!? Sounds to me like you wanna settle our score once and for all!
Mash:
They can certainly be a little, um, noisy when they all get together like this...but I'm glad they're all here, Senpai.
Fujimaru 1:
Me too.
Fujimaru 2:
That was a very GUDAGUDA event, huh?
Nagao Kagetora:
So, this is Chaldea. No wonder there's never a dull moment around here.
Demon King Nobbu:
True, boredom's the one thing we never have to worry about.
Demon King Nobbu:
'Course, in exchange, we do have to deal with a whole bunch of crises, some of which could end the world as we know it.
Demon King Nobbu:
You sure you want to join us here?
Nagao Kagetora:
Absolutely.
Nagao Kagetora:
The way I see it...
Nagao Kagetora:
...Bishamonten probably sent me here specifically so I could help with these potential world-ending crises!
Demon King Nobbu:
Heh, so Master's even managed to win Bishamonten over to [♂ his /♀ her] side, huh?
Demon King Nobbu:
[♂ He's /♀ She's] got charisma to spare, I'll give [♂ him /♀ her] that.
Nagao Kagetora:
Can you think of a better reason for Bishamonten to lend his aid than to save the world?
Nagao Kagetora:
I certainly can't.
Demon King Nobbu:
If you ask me, you're far more terrifying than any potential world-ending threat.
Nagao Kagetora:
Ahahahaha! Yes, I know!
Demon King Nobbu:
Oh well! Hey, Fujimaru!
What do you say we all have lunch together?
Demon King Nobbu:
Come on, Chief Retainer of the Chaldea clan, what're you waiting for? Go on and round us all up already!
D：Chief Retainer Mash:
Uh, right! Mash “Chief Retainer” Kyrielight,
preparing to make arrangements for lunch!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Hahahahaha! Truly, there's no place like Chaldea!
Fujimaru 1:
Was that her Demon King form just now?
Fujimaru 2:
That was weird. Maybe I'm seeing things...
Demon King Nobbu:
What is it, Fujimaru?
Did I look like someone else for a moment?
Demon King Nobbu:
Well, it doesn't matter what I look like!
I'm still the same me I always was!
Demon King Nobbu:
And what is it I always say?
That's right.
Demon King Nobunaga:
...It can't be helped!
Okita Alter:
...Well, this is a problem. I was trying to get back to Chaldea, but it looks like I got lost somehow...
Okita Alter:
Now what should I do...
B：???:
(Sigh) Well that sucked. I'm not sure anyone even noticed you were in this event.
Okita Alter:
Rengoku? You can talk?
Rengokuken:
You're only just realizing this!? Where did you think the advice you got in battle now and then came from!?
Okita Alter:
Oh, so that was you.
Okita Alter:
Thanks, Rengoku.
I didn't realize you were helping me out so much.
Rengokuken:
Gaaah! There! Right there!
This is exactly your problem!
Okita Alter:
I'm sorry. I don't know why you're upset,
but it's probably my fault.
Okita Alter:
Oh, are you hungry? Would you like some of the rice ball that child gave me?
Okita Alter:
I already had half of it...along with all the filling...but if you're okay with that–
Rengokuken:
Never mind the food! Look, I'll find Chaldea for you, so just hurry up and get back there already!
Okita Alter:
You can do that, Rengoku? That's amazing.
Okita Alter:
Now I won't have to bring anyone else with me when I go out to run errands.
Rengokuken:
...Know what? Forget it. Find the way back on your own. That goes for your errands too.
Rengokuken:
I'm not even gonna lift my scabbard to help you,
and I'm not gonna talk anymore, either.
Okita Alter:
Oh...
Okita Alter:
I see. You're telling me I need to be able to overcome adversity on my own.
Okita Alter:
You're very strict when it comes to Majin, aren't you, Rengoku?
Rengokuken:
Argh, let's just go already!
Okita Alter:
Oh, you spoke again.
Assignment Event: Miss O's Revival
Okita:
Hey, where's my name? I thought this side event was about me! Huh? They're just using my initial!?
Fujimaru 1:
Come on, let's let her out. I think she's ready.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Nah, traitors are supposed to commit seppuku. I'm pretty sure it's in the man-slayers club rules and everything.
Fujimaru 2:
This is your year, Okita. I believe in your swimsuit!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai. Master. I know you love summer, but could you please not drag us into nonsensical tangents like that?
Chief Retainer Mash:
It only makes things even more, well, GUDAGUDA...
Okita:
I told you, that weird underwear was controlling me! Look, I'll prove it to you.
Okita:
Okita's status ailments have been removed!
Okita:
See? So come on, let me out of here already.
Okita:
Please, Master! I'm begging you!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! I don't know what this chick's deal is, but I do know she pisses me off. Let's just behead her and be done with it, Master!
Nagao Kagetora:
Don't you think you've teased her enough? She's still one of your allies from Chaldea, isn't she?
Okita:
Oh yes, Master and I go back a looong way!
Okita:
Also, this is the Warring States period now, right? So of course there's lots of fighting and violence now, right?
Okita:
That sort of things sounds right up my alley!
Fujimaru 1:
Great. I'm counting on you!
Okita:
Don't worry, I won't let you down!
And your enemies won't know what hit them!
Fujimaru 2:
There's also always the Okita Santa way out of here...
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai, please try to take this seriously.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Okay, but you'll be starting in the infantry, just like me.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Or maybe you were always part of the infantry in your man-slayers club?
A：Infantrywoman Okita:
Oh, um... Well, under the circumstances,
I don't mind joining up as an infantrywoman...
A：Infantrywoman Okita:
...but couldn't you at least make me a captain? You can see I have plenty of captaining experience on my résumé.
A：Infantrywoman Okita:
I'm even better when it comes to captaining First Units!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Ahem. I'm afraid I can't let you skip your way up through the ranks like that.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Every new member of the Chaldea clan must start out as a foot soldier.
A：Infantrywoman Okita:
Aw come on, Mash!
You're being even more of a hard-ass than usual!
A：Infantrywoman Okita:
Okita Souji, former Captain of the Shinsengumi's First Unit, now Captain of the Chaldea clan infantry's First Unit! Thanks again for bringing me on board, Master!
A：Infantrywoman Okita:
Huh? I'm an foot soldier, not a captain?
I don't suppose I could change your mind about that?
Infantrywoman Okita pledged her loyalty to you.
(You can now choose her as an NPC.)
Assignment Event: Conqueror of the Changing Times Employment
Oda Kippoushi:
(Yaaawn...) Man, this is boring. Turns out having nothing to do but eat and sleep gets real old, real fast.
Li Shuwen:
If you're that bored, why not do some exercise?
I'll even instruct you myself.
Oda Kippoushi:
You mean in Chinese martial arts?
No thanks. Not my style.
Oda Kippoushi:
Though while we're on the subject, do you think you could do your stomping thing a little more quietly?
Li Shuwen:
No, sorry. This is an essential part of my daily routine. I'm afraid you'll just have to make do somehow.
Oda Kippoushi:
Is that so?
Fujimaru 1:
This Nobbu looks pretty bored.
Nagao Kagetora:
Oda Kippoushi, the Fool of Owari...
I've heard stories.
Nagao Kagetora:
I can understand why this one was too much for Owari alone to contain.
Fujimaru 2:
The floor in here is falling apart.
Chief Retainer Mash:
It's not just the floor. The whole jail is on the verge of collapsing thanks to Li Shuwen's training regimen.
Oda Kippoushi:
Oh, hey! It's Fujimaru of Chaldea!
Oda Kippoushi:
I'm just gonna ask:
You sure you can't use us in your army?
Oda Kippoushi:
I'm gonna die of boredom if I spend one more day in here with nothing to do but eat and sleep.
Nagao Kagetora:
What do you think, Fujimaru?
Perhaps you could entrust them with one of the Chaldea clan's castles?
Oda Kippoushi:
Now that's what I like to hear, Dragon of Echigo! While I'm at it, maybe I'll help take over the other provinces!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hmm, I dunno. I get the sense that if we leave this one to their devices, we'll just end up in another war. And yes, I get the irony of ME saying that.
Nagao Kagetora:
Not to worry. If it comes to that, I'll just let my spear do the talking, and that'll be that.
Oda Kippoushi:
Wahahahaha! No wonder you're known as Echigo's god of war! That sounds like a good time to me!
Chief Retainer Mash:
What about you, Li Shuwen?
Would you be willing to help us as well?
Li Shuwen:
Of course. I only opposed you in the first place in order to repay the debt I owed young Oda here for food and lodging.
Li Shuwen:
If you can forgive me for that, I would be happy to lend you my services once again.
Mori Nagayoshi:
You really just fight with your bare hands, old timer? I don't see how that's gonna do us much good on the battlefield.
Li Shuwen:
Oh, I can also use a spear if I have to. Either way,
I'm sure I can be of more use than you, brat.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Huh!? Who're you calling a brat, you old geezer!?
Fujimaru 1:
All right, all right, no more of that.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Tch. Fine, but be ready! Later, I'm gonna serve you the tastiest goddamn cup of tea you've ever had in your life!
Fujimaru 2:
Glad to have you back on board, Li Shuwen.
Li Shuwen:
Thank you, Master.
Once again, my fists are yours to command.
Oda Kippoushi:
Sweet! Then it's settled!
Oda Kippoushi:
So hey, if you're gonna give me a castle, mind giving me the one closest to the enemy? Gives me a perfect excuse to invade them if they make the first move!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
You know, there's something about this me that really takes me back to my youth.
Oda Kippoushi:
I bet!
Li Shuwen:
I've never been much for commanding people,
but I do excel at breaking them.
Li Shuwen:
Just point me towards who you want broken,
and I shall see that it is done.
Li Shuwen pledged his loyalty to you.
(You can now choose him as an NPC.)
Oda Kippoushi:
You know, I've actually never served someone else before. I gotta say, I'm excited about it! Wahahahaha!
Oda Kippoushi:
Thanks for letting me join your clan,
Master of Chaldea!
Oda Kippoushi pledged loyalty to you.
(You can now choose them as an NPC.)
Assignment Event: Those Who Are Double-Dealing and Contrasting
Sanada Emiyuki:
...The Sanada clan is doomed.
Iri-no-Kata:
Oh my, that doesn't sound good.
Sanada Emimura:
What do you mean, Father?
Sanada Emiyuki:
The Nagao clan of Echigo that was defeated by the Oda clan fell to the Chaldea clan. Now the Chaldea clan is making an advance on Sanada clan territory.
Sanada Illyuki:
Excuse me, can somebody tell me what's going on?
I'm so lost right now...
Sarutobi Chlosuke:
My lord, the enemy army has already made their way to our castle! Our hands are all but tied!
Kirigakure Miyuzou:
Their general appears to be Nagao Kagetora of Echigo, with Mori Nagayoshi of the Oda clan leading the charge!
Sanada Illyuki:
Chlo? Miyu!? Not you too!?
Sanada Emiyuki:
Hmm... Then they leave me no choice. Fortunately, I still have a plan. Let's go out to face them, and we'll see how well it works.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai, this is Shinshu Ueda, the domain of the Sanada clan–one of the most famous clans in the Warring States period.
Nagao Kagetora:
The Sanada clan... As in Sanada “Unstoppable Force” Yukitaka, the retainer to Harunobu?
Sanada Emiyuki:
That'd be my father. It's a pleasure to meet you,
Lady Kenshin. I'm the current lord of the Sanada clan,
Sanada Emiyuki.
Sanada Emimura:
I'm Sanada Emimura, Emiyuki's second child!
Sanada Illyuki:
And I'm Sa-Sanada Illyuki, Emiyuki's eldest child!
...Wait. I'M the eldest!?
Sarutobi Chlosuke:
And I'm Sarutobi Chlosuke, one of the Sanada clan's ten fiercest warriors!
Kirigakure Miyuzou:
I'm Kirigakure Miyuzou, another one of those ten!
Never mind that there's actually only two of us!
Iri-no-Kata:
And I'm Emiyuki's wife, Iri-no-Kata!
Fujimaru 1:
Talk about a Sanada all-star lineup.
Fujimaru 2:
He's sure hung onto that mask for a while, huh?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Well look at you all crawling outta the woodwork. If you think I'm gonna go easy on you just 'cause you've got women and children with you, you're dead wrong!
--BATTLE--
Sanada Emiyuki:
You win. We surrender. The Sanada clan hereby pledges its loyalty to the Chaldea clan. To prove it, you can take my son, Emimura, as a hostage.
Sanada Emimura:
I understand. My sister Illyuki has to stay behind to carry on the Sanada name, after all.
Sanada Illyuki:
Huh!? But Big Brother, shouldn't you be the one to carry on–Oh, right. I'm the eldest, aren't I!?
Nagao Kagetora:
I see, I see. So by giving up your second child as a hostage, you demonstrate your loyalty to Chaldea.
Nagao Kagetora:
But by keeping your eldest child here, you are able to retain your heir in case Chaldea is defeated.
Nagao Kagetora:
Very clever.
Sanada Emiyuki:
This is just what you have to do to ensure your family's legacy when you're a small clan like us.
Iri-no-Kata:
They do say children have to leave the nest someday. I suppose this is just how things are done here in the Warring States.
Iri-no-Kata:
Make sure you do the Sanada name proud, Emimura.
Sarutobi Chlosuke:
Good luck, Big Brother!
Don't forget to bring me back a souvenir!
Kirigakure Miyuzou:
Just as my last name means “to hide in the mists,”
I'll be cheering you on from the shadows!
Chief Retainer Mash:
I, um, see your family is very close.
Sanada Emimura:
Yes, we are. I know this is an unusual situation, but I'm honored that my family has such high hopes for me.
Sanada Emimura:
So for the time being, I'm going to set aside my personal ties and simply play my part as another popular general.
Sanada Emimura:
I'm (supposed to be) Sanada Emimura, the second child of the Sanada clan. I'm a pretty good shot with a bow and arrow.
Sanada Emimura:
I promise to fight with a ferocity to equal the strongest soldier in Japan!
Sanada Emimura pledged his loyalty to you.
(You can now choose him as an NPC.)
Assignment Event: The Cursing Serpent God
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai, I'm told there's a terrifying serpent god who lives in this cave cursing people to death and eating their remains.
Fujimaru 1:
A serpent god, huh...
Fujimaru 2:
That sounds pretty awful.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Guess that means I'm up, then! I'm an old hand when it comes to getting rid of snakes and stuff.
Chief Retainer Mash:
That's great, Mori. I'm glad you're here to help.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Oh yeah. A giant snake that was supposed to be a good omen or some shit appeared right before battle once, but then I killed him and ate him.
Mori Nagayoshi:
'Course, I guess he ended up having the last laugh,
since I died too not long after. Hahahahaha!
Chief Retainer Mash:
I-I see. I'm, um, glad you're here to help...possibly...
Serpent God:
...Leave now, foolish humans.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Wh-who's there!? Are you the serpent god who's been cursing people to death!?
Serpent God:
Foolish humans. I am just the victim of slanderous accusations... It's all a smear campaign.
Serpent God:
I have never cursed anyone,
let alone killed and eaten them.
Serpent God:
It has always been humans' way to lay blame on what they do not understand whenever things take a turn for the worse.
Serpent God:
So I would much rather stay here and read my book in peace than get mixed up in this GUDAGUDA nonsense.
Serpent God:
So you can turn right around and go back the way you came.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! A talking snake, huh? That's great! Hey, Master, break out the firewood! We're having snake hot pot tonight!
Fujimaru 1:
I feel like I've heard that voice somewhere before...
Fujimaru 2:
No way. Is that...?
Serpent God:
No prying, all right?
Just go away and leave me alone already!
--BATTLE--
Mori Nagayoshi:
The hell? How'd a woman get inside a giant snake!?
Serpent God:
Dammit... I swore this was going to be the year I didn't get mixed up in any GUDAGUDA nonsense.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Medusa... I never thought you would turn out to be the serpent god...
Fujimaru 1:
Welcome to the team!
Fujimaru 2:
You can run from GUDAGUDA, but you can't hide.
Serpent God:
Yes, yes... I know.
Serpent God:
(Said in the monotone to end all monotones) I'm a Servant who's good at Petrification and stuff. Thanks for having me.
Serpent God:
I'm Medu–the cursed serpent god. I don't really feel up to fighting now, so I'm hoping for a desk job.
The serpent god pledged her loyalty to you.
(You can now choose her as an NPC.)
Assignment Event: Celtic's Number One Eccentric
Maeda Setanta:
Welcome. I'm the Yari-no-Mataza known as...
Um... Oh, right. Maeda Setanta.
Maeda Setanta:
Dammit, they used my childhood name again...
Then again, I guess I prefer that.
Fujimaru 1:
Ah, I get it. Maeda Toshiie was a great spearman too.
Fujimaru 2:
A scarlet spear... Somebody likes to be the star of the show!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Hey, Mataza! Long time no spear!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Oh wait, it's just the blue Lancer with the scarlet spear. They're really putting you through the wringer again, huh?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Whoa, that outfit's pretty rocking!
Where'd you get it? Sakai? Otsu?
Maeda Setanta:
Huh? Do I know you?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha, you don't know who I am? You've got guts,
I'll give you that! All right, I'mma kill you now!
Maeda Setanta:
Not sure why you're so eager to die, but I guess you at least get down to business as fast as my mentor.
Maeda Setanta:
Fine, I'll take you on if you want. We can have a little contest to see who reaches the River Styx first!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Dammit Katsuzou, why'd you even come along!? You barely said a word and you're already ruining our negotiations!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Look, we're just here to try and get you to join our side. We're not here to pick a fight!
Maeda Setanta:
Buddy, if you can take a hit from this cursed lance without dying on the spot, I'll join anything you want!
--BATTLE--
Maeda Setanta:
So you managed to beat me, huh? Not bad. In fact, that was impressive spearwork out there. I think you and I could get along just fine.
Maeda Setanta:
Focusing on the opponent's injuries and not my own, huh? Hahaha, now that I look closer, you're practically high as a kite with the euphoria of battle, aren't you?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! Damn, your spearwork wasn't half bad either! I couldn't even dodge it!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Guess this is one of those “You should see the other guy” situations...only the other guy's on our side this time.
Maeda Setanta:
So you're running low on generals, huh? Fine, I'm in! This spear of Maeda Setanta aka the Hound of Culann, is now yours to use as you see fit!
Chief Retainer Mash:
I expect you two will soon be fast friends,
since you both fight with spears.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hey pal, don't think this is over! Soon as these injuries heal up, I'm gonna pay you back for this ten times over!
Maeda Setanta:
I knew I had you pegged right! Don't worry,
buddy, I'll take you on again anytime you like!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Um...is it possible to be TOO fast friends?
Maeda Setanta:
Heya! I'm Maeda Setanta, aka Yari-no-Mataza! I thought I'd tag along and share some of my cursed scarlet spear's goodness while I was in town!
Maeda Setanta pledged his loyalty to you.
(You can now choose him as an NPC.)
Assignment Event: Messenger of Ezo
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai, there's a merchant from Ezo on her way here to see you.
Fujimaru 1:
Ezo? You mean, Hokkaido?
Fujimaru 2:
I wonder what she's got to sell... Salmon, maybe?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Ezo, huh. Back when we were alive, it was so far away we didn't know anything about it.
Lowly Infantryman:
My [♂ lord /♀ lady], come quick! Lord Nagayoshi is fighting a merchant from Ezo on the castle bridge as we speak!
Chief Retainer Mash:
What!? But I only asked him to go out and greet her!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Crap! Did you say a bridge!? Okay, we don't have much time, so long story short: bridges and Katsuzou always end in bloodshed!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Bloodshed!? Why!?
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
It all goes back to the time he cut down a bridge sentry just for giving him a warning. A real sad story, that one.
Chief Retainer Mash:
That's not sad, it's horrifying!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Come on, Senpai!
I'm even more worried about the merchant now!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai, look! Over there!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
I hope this merchant from Ezo is still alive. I was really looking forward to trying some of that salmon...
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha!
Guess you samurai from Ezo really know your stuff!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
Huh!? Katsuzou's the one who's all beat to hell?
Sitonai:
What's your problem!? I was just trying to cross this bridge, and you go and attack me out of nowhere!?
Sitonai:
Shirou! Berserker! Get him!
Shirou:
Graaaaaah!
Heracles:
[[File:berserkervoice2.png50px]]!!!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Is that...Sitonai!?
C-come on, Senpai, we'd better stop them!
--BATTLE--
C：Sitonai:
I told you, I was just trying to cross this bridge when this big oaf attacked me out of nowhere!
Mori Nagayoshi:
And I thought she deserved to be taken down a leg–uh, peg or two when she didn't get off her high horse–uh, bear, even knowing I was here on Master's behalf!
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
So what you're saying is that she did nothing wrong. Shoulda known Oni Musashi might pull a stunt like this.
Chief Retainer Mash:
A-anyway, I'm so sorry for the trouble, Sitonai.
We had no idea you were here.
C：Sitonai:
It's been kind of a nightmare, let me tell you. First I wake up in Hokkaido this morning, then I realize my family name is now Kakizaki for some reason...
Kakizaki Sitonai:
And that's not even getting into how hard it was just to make the trip here to Echigo!
Kakizaki Sitonai:
I don't know what I would have done if Shirou and Berserker hadn't been here with me...
Chief Retainer Mash:
Well, now that you've reached the Chaldea clan's territory, you're welcome to stay and recuperate for as long as you like.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Although, I'm curious:
Why did you come to Echigo in the first place?
Kakizaki Sitonai:
Oh, that's because I found a mysterious map back in Hokkaido...
Kakizaki Sitonai:
...that said there's a vast amount of gold sleeping on an island not too far from here.
Kakizaki Sitonai:
I thought that gold might have something to do with how I ended up here, so I came to see for myself.
Infantrywoman Nobbu:
You sayin' thar's gold in them thar Echigos!?
Kakizaki Sitonai:
I'm Kakizaki Sitonai, an envoy of Ezo.
I'll be sticking around to help out for a while.
Kakizaki Sitonai:
And these are my companions, Heracles and Shirou.
Kakizaki Sitonai:
Huh? Salmon? Well, um, I have this wood carving of a bear catching one...
Kakizaki Sitonai pledged her loyalty to you.
(You can now choose her as an NPC.)
Assignment Event: The Legendary Shinobi
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai, I've been looking into the rash of kidnappings that have been taking place in the castle town lately...
Chief Retainer Mash:
...and I've finally managed to track down the kidnappers' hideout!
Fujimaru 1:
Then what are we waiting for!?
Fujimaru 2:
Those kidnappers are going to pay for what they've done!
Mori Nagayoshi:
So this is their hideout? Come on then, let's go kill 'em all before they know what hit 'em!
???:
Shh. A moment, please.
I take it you are all from the Chaldea clan?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Who are–
???:
I am Momochi Hassandayu, a humble shinobi.
Momochi Hassandayu:
I have been looking into the human traffickers operating around here as well, and finally succeeded in tracking them to this hideout.
Momochi Hassandayu:
If you charge in spears swinging now, there's no telling what they might do to their prisoners.
Momochi Hassandayu:
Might I suggest we work together here?
Man Dressed Like a Warrior Monk:
...All right, take them to our main headquarters.
Man Dressed Like a Warrior Monk:
And don't forget to stop by the castle town and spread the rumors that it was Nobunaga who did this.
Mori Nagayoshi:
You punks're trying to pin your crimes on the boss,
huh? Not for long you won't be!
Man Dressed Like a Warrior Monk:
What the!? Who are you people!? Oh, never mind that! We can't let them leave now that they've seen us! Kill them!
--BATTLE--
Man Dressed Like a Warrior Monk:
S-stay back! One more step, and they're dead!
Hostage:
P-please, help me...
Fujimaru 1:
That's playing dirty!
Fujimaru 2:
Dammit! Now what do we do?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Oh? Now you're taking hostages, huh?
Mori Nagayoshi:
And that's s'posed to stop us how, exactly!?
Man Dressed Like a Warrior Monk:
Wha!? Don't you care if they live or die!?
Man Dressed Like a Warrior Monk:
I can't believe this! All right, fine! Kill them all!
Hostage:
Heh. I see you don't hesitate for a moment, Lord Mori. If these villains are going to resort to cowardly tricks, it's only fair that we not let the law constrain us either.
Momochi Hassandayu:
And of course, my shadowless ninjutsu surpasses cowardice and lawlessness alike. I already freed the hostages shortly after the fighting began.
Man Dressed Like a Warrior Monk:
Wh-what? Then...
Chief Retainer Mash:
Well done, Lord Mochi Mochi Hassan!
Now go ahead and take them into custody!
Momochi Hassandayu:
Mochi Mochi!?
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! That worked out perfectly, Master!
Nice job on your end too, shinobi!
Momochi Hassandayu:
Not at all. I could never have done it without your help. If I hadn't known you were acting, I would have been taken in just as much as they were.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai, may I suggest we invite Lord Hassandayu to help the Chaldea clan in a more official capacity?
Fujimaru 1:
Just what I was thinking.
Fujimaru 2:
How about it, Hassandayu?
Momochi Hassandayu:
Very well. Now that fate has brought us together, I am happy to employ my shinobi skills in your service.
Momochi Hassandayu:
I am Momochi Hassandayu, wandering shinobi.
Momochi Hassandayu:
I do have some leadership experience, so I would be happy to take charge of your shinobi brigade.
Momochi Hassandayu:
What did you say they were called? The Mini Nobu Ninja Army? Hahaha, I look forward to training them.
Momochi Hassandayu pledged his loyalty to you.
(You can now choose him as an NPC.)
Assignment Event: Rice Porridge War
Restaurant Owner Medea:
Come on in, step right up! You haven't lived till you've tried a bowl of authentic South Sea kykeon!
Restaurant Owner Medea:
Wait! Why am I the one out here peddling porridge!?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Medea!? What are you doing here?
Restaurant Owner Medea:
My mentor asked me to come over to this country and open a restaurant so I could spread the joys of kykeon.
Restaurant Owner Medea:
Business was booming at first, but then another restaurant calling itself the Sparrow's Perch opened up nearby...
Restaurant Owner Medea:
...and my sales have died down to practically nothing ever since...
Fujimaru 1:
The Sparrow's Perch, huh... I've got a good feeling about the food there.
Fujimaru 2:
I don't know why. Kykeon's yummy.
Restaurant Owner Medea:
I like to think I make a decent bowl, but the big thing working against kykeon is the lack of variety to it.
Restaurant Owner Medea:
If a customer shows up asking for pork chops, or pizza, or pumpkin pie, all I can offer them is porridge...
Restaurant Owner Medea:
So, on that note:
You guys are the Chaldea clan now, right?
Restaurant Owner Medea:
If I win, how about you sign a contract saying you'll buy kykeon from me on the regular to feed your army? Deal?
Chief Retainer Mash:
U-um, I'm not sure that's–
Restaurant Owner Medea:
Heh, too late to back out! Now come on! I've got a bowl of defeat-flavored kykeon with your name on it right here!
--BATTLE--
Restaurant Owner Medea:
I lost... Now I'm going to go broke, what with all the extra stock of kykeon I have left over...
Nagao Kagetora:
Huh, so this is kykeon? It's really good.
Nagao Kagetora:
Maybe we really could use this to feed the Chaldea clan's army, Fujimaru. It's definitely tasty,
and it seems to be rich in nutrients too.
Restaurant Owner Medea:
Um... Who are you again? Eh, doesn't matter.
What matters is that you are a man of taste.
Restaurant Owner Medea:
It's true. Kykeon can even be taken as medicine! It's that good for you! And I'm sure you could all use a steady source of nutritious meals, since you're fighting a nearly endless war.
Fujimaru 1:
If you like it that much, Kagetora, then it's fine with me.
Fujimaru 2:
All right Medea, you've got yourself a deal.
Restaurant Owner Medea:
Phew! That takes care of this month's stock.
Now I can finally relax and–
Employee:
Excuse me, Boss, but we just got another shipment of kykeon in from the main office.
Restaurant Owner Medea:
Send it back, dammit! Argh! I swear,
Auntie always goes overboard with these things!
Restaurant Owner Medea:
I'm Medea, the owner of the local kykeon restaurant. I'll make sure Chaldea's kitchens are shipshape from now on.
Restaurant Owner Medea:
Now, if you'll excuse me,
this kykeon stock isn't going to carry itself...
Restaurant Owner Medea pledged her loyalty to you.
(You can now choose her as an NPC.)
Outbreak Event: Defend! Kakare Shibata!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai! Shibata is invading our territory again!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Great, just what we needed.
Mori Nagayoshi:
I wish he'd drop a teapot or something like that when he comes by. Then I'd at least have a reason to be excited about fighting him again.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Well, he's too strong for the infantry to handle alone. We'll have to do something about him ourselves.
Nagao Kagetora:
True. Even if he will eventually have to retreat once he runs out of magical energy, he'll still cause incalculable damage along the way.
Nagao Kagetora:
Even if we can't defeat him,
we can at least help wear him out faster.
Mori Nagayoshi:
All right, I guess I can use him to rack up some more points.
Mori Nagayoshi:
In fact, now that I think about it, the fact that he won't die from a few hits means I can keep killing him as much as I like!
Nagao Kagetora:
I'm not sure what part of that qualifies as thinking, but no matter! Let's be off then!
All-Out Alter Assault GUDAGUDA Final Majin Front 2021
Mash:
Huh? Okita Alter still hasn't come back?
Chacha:
She's usually always home in time for dinner! She might have been kid–uh, Heroic Spiritnapped!
Chacha:
Wh-what are we going to do? Do we call the police?
Is there a missing Servants department!?
Nobbu:
Chill, Chacha! She probably just bought some oden or something and is busy eating somewhere.
Okita Souji:
We've got trouble! That weird box is acting up again!
Da Vinci:
Hmm. It looks like our failure to retrieve the Holy Grail and bring back Okita Alter from the Logos Reenactor Generic...
Da Vinci:
...has led to it developing bugs on top of bugs on top of bugs.
Da Vinci:
I set the Rayshift coordinates to near where she and the Grail are, so if you wouldn't mind going back in and collecting them both now, that'd be great.
Da Vinci:
All right, let's get this Rayshift going!
Da Vinci:
Go on, all of you, jump in!
We don't have any time to waste!
Nobbu:
Wait! That explained nothiii–
Nobwaaaaaah!!!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! I don't know what's going on, but as long as I get to cause more ruckus, who cares!
Nagao Kagetora:
Ahahahaha, this is really good! Another round, please!
Okita:
How much has she already had to driIIINNNK!?
Mash:
Huh? Okita Alter still hasn't come back?
Chacha:
She's usually always home in time for dinner! She might have been kid–uh, Heroic Spiritnapped!
Chacha:
Wh-what are we going to do? Do we call the police?
Is there a missing Servants department!?
Nobbu:
Chill, Chacha! She probably just bought some oden or something and is busy eating somewhere.
Okita Souji:
We've got trouble! That weird box is acting up again!
Da Vinci:
Hmm. It looks like our failure to retrieve the Holy Grail and bring back Okita Alter from the Logos Reenactor Generic...
Da Vinci:
...has led to it developing bugs on top of bugs on top of bugs.
Sion:
I set the Rayshift coordinates to near where she and the Grail are, so if you would not mind going back in and collecting them both now, that would be great.
Sion:
All right, it is time to Rayshift!
Sion:
Go on, all of you, jump in!
We do not have any time to waste!
Nobbu:
Wait! That explained nothiii–
Nobwaaaaaah!!!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! I don't know what's going on, but as long as I get to cause more ruckus, who cares!
Nagao Kagetora:
Ahahahaha, this is really good! Another round, please!
Okita:
How much has she already had to driIIINNNK!?
Demon Lord Okita Alter:
...So, the Chaldeans have made their way here.
Demon Lord Okita Alter:
Unfortunately for them, this Singularity's Holy Grail has attracted Alters of every stripe.
Demon Lord Okita Alter:
If they think this will be an easy fix,
they are gravely mistaken...
British Houjou Multicolored Five
Houjou Gawain the White:
I am Houjou Gawain the White, warrior of the sun!
Houjou Lancelot the Purple:
I am Houjou Lancelot the Purple, warrior of the lake!
Houjou Bedivere the Green:
I am H-Houjou Bedivere the Green, warrior of the silver arm!
Houjou Tristan the Red:
I am Houjou Tristan the Red, warrior of sadness...
Houjou Mordred the Red:
And I'm Houjou Mordred the Red, warrior of treachery!
Houjou Mordred the Red:
Hey! Red's MY goddamn color!
Houjou Gawain the White:
With our colors combined, we are...
Houjou Gawain the White:
The British Houjou Multicolor Five!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Senpai, it seems as though the Houjou clan really did have a unit comprised of five differently colored warriors.
Fujimaru 1:
I get the feeling it probably wasn't those colors though...
Houjou Tristan the Red:
I knew I should have insisted one of us be curry brown. Ahh, woe is me...
Fujimaru 2:
I feel like I'm seeing red... Uh, double...
Houjou Mordred the Red:
Right? You think so too, yeah? Okay!
Let's settle this the Round Table way!
Houjou Altria Alter:
What are you all squabbling about,
my British Houjou Multicolor Five?
Houjou Altria Alter:
Oho... The Uesugi clan, and the Chaldea clan, hmm...
Houjou Altria Alter:
Well whatever clan you barbarians belong to, you had best be prepared for the consequences of invading my Camelot Odawara Castle!
Nagao Kagetora:
If anyone here needs to prepare for the consequences, it's you!
Nagao Kagetora:
It's just like a Houjou to parade around on their high horse even in my presence!
Houjou Altria Alter:
Um, that is actually beyond even my control. Truth be told, I would very much like to dismount from my steed every now and then...
Nagao Kagetora:
No excuses! Besides, it's not fair–I mean,
right for a Lancer to go around riding a horse!
Fujimaru 1:
What about a Lancer carrying around a bunch of swords, like you do?
Fujimaru 2:
Don't you call a horse for your Noble Phantasm?
Nagao Kagetora:
La la la la laaa! I can't heaaar yooou!
Nagao Kagetora:
Now then, cheating Lancer and company, prepare to face the wrath of Nagao Kagetora of the Kanto jurisdiction! Let's have a good, clean fight, shall we?
Kai Furry Park
Takeda Atalante Alter:
Halt! None but animals and children may enter Kai Furry Park!
Demon King Nobbu:
Damn. If I'd come here as my smaller self, I might've been able to get a ticket at the kids' rate.
Demon King Nobbu:
I guess this is what I get for growing up and filling out on all that carnival food I had at that rest stop...
Fujimaru 1:
Where'd that come from, Demon King?
Fujimaru 2:
Pretty sure that's not how it works...
Chacha:
You're a real Demon King now, right, Auntie?
So don't be so cheap!
Chacha:
Besides, Chacha should have no trouble getting in, since Chacha is obviously the cutest Toyotomi child ever!
Nagao Kagetora:
Tora means “tiger” in Japanese.
Is that enough to let me pass as an animal?
Takeda Atalante Alter:
Forget it! None of you are getting inside!
The only scent you give off is of blood and war!
Takeda Atalante Alter:
Kai Furry Park is meant to be a place where children and animals can frolic in harmony. It is the utopian dream of all Atalantes everywhere.
Takeda Atalante Alter:
I will ensure this is a peaceful, family-friendly haven, even if I have to kill you all to do it!
That Detestable Jeanne Alter
Date Jeanne Alter:
Khh! My sealed off right eye is reacting, pulsing with power!
Date Jeanne Alter:
Get back! If the restraints on my dark power fail, it could plunge the entire Warring States into an era of endless darkness!
Fujimaru 1:
I, uh, think you dropped your eyepatch.
Fujimaru 2:
Is that the plot of your next doujin or something?
Date Jeanne Alter:
Oh shut your damn mouth! You think I wanted to get summoned to whatever this crap is? I have a deadline to meet, and it's TOMORROW!
Date Jeanne Alter:
My printer refused to give me another extension too! Why'd they have to hold another weird event now, of all times!?
Date Jeanne Alter:
Although... You say this Date guy's nickname was the One-Eyed Dragon? That's pretty badass.
Nagao Kagetora:
If you like his nickname, I'd say the Dragon of Echigo is right up there in terms of, um, badass...ness?
Date Jeanne Alter:
Puh-leeze. A one-eyed dragon is way more badass than some boring old Echigo dragon.
Date Jeanne Alter:
And throwing in three katana on top of it? That's like plus twenty badass points. PEAK BADASSERY!
Nagao Kagetora:
Did I mention that, in addition to the Dragon of Echigo, I'm also a god of war and the avatar of Bishamonten, complete with all eight of his one-of-a-kind blades?
Date Jeanne Alter:
Okay, now you're just showing off, you freakin'
tryhard! Dammit, who's the asshole that decided to stuff so many attributes into a single Servant!?
Let's Make a Good Nation, Kamakura Shogunate
Minamoto Yoshitsune:
Since my brother isn't here, I decided to go ahead and rebuild the Kamakura shogunate from 1192 without him.
Minamoto Yoshitsune:
It was much easier than I thought it would be, thanks to my natural genius.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Um, actually, I believe modern history textbooks say the Kamakura shogunate was established in 1185.
Minamoto Yoshitsune:
They do!?
Minamoto Yoshitsune:
So he started it seven years earlier than I thought... Impressive. No wonder he was the pride of the Genji.
Fujimaru 1:
By the way, I can't help but notice you don't look very Alterish...
Fujimaru 2:
So what happened to the Alter who's supposed to be here?
Minamoto Yoshitsune:
Oh, right, my apologies. Hold on just a minute.
Minamoto Yoshitsune:
...How's this?
Minamoto Yoshitsune Alter-Style:
Now, then, let us begin the battle to determine whether the Genji or the Taira clans survive...
Minamoto Yoshitsune Alter-Style:
The All Genji Assault Final Genpei War 2021!
Nobbu:
I'm with the Taira clan. Anyone else?
Nagao Kagetora:
I am too, though I'm not sure I buy your claim that you are.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Crap, my family's loyal to the Seiwa Genji.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Sorry Boss, looks like I'll be going over to the enemy side this time.
Mori Nagayoshi:
Oh, but don't worry, Master.
I'd never betray you for anything.
Nobbu:
I can't believe my Taira clan attribute backfired on me like this...
Mori Nagayoshi:
All right! Going up against the boss oughta be a damn good time! I don't know anything about this Alter stuff, but who cares! I'm gonna go all out for this one!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! This is the outfit made for the Mori clan's last stand! Come at me with everything you got, Boss!
Minamoto Yoshitsune Alter-Style:
Ooh, you remind me of the wild oni warriors I used to see in the Heian period! Anyway, let's do this thing!
The Legitimate Great Alter
Oda Kippoushi:
Are you the Alter that rules over this land?
Maeda Cú Chulainn Alter:
Who the hell're you guys?
Oda Kippoushi:
Me? I'm none other than Oda Kippoushi of Owari–I mean, Chaldea!
Maeda Cú Chulainn Alter:
...
Oda Kippoushi:
You know, your outfit's really something. I like the spiky look you've got going for you, and the tail's a nice touch.
Oda Kippoushi:
Mataza used to be quite the snappy dresser when he was younger, but I think you even have him beat.
Oda Kippoushi:
So where'd you get that armor, anyway? Sakai? Otsu?
Fujimaru 1:
Watch out, Kippoushi! This guy's absurdly strong!
Fujimaru 2:
I don't think you can exactly buy it off a rack.
Maeda Cú Chulainn Alter:
...Hmph!
Oda Kippoushi:
Whoa! This guy really does seem strong.
Oda Kippoushi:
No, forget seems. He definitely is!
Maeda Cú Chulainn Alter:
...Are we doing this thing or not?
Oda Kippoushi:
Wahahahaha! The strong and silent type, huh! It's hard being strong, isn't it! At a certain point, it becomes impossible to hide who you are!
Maeda Cú Chulainn Alter:
Hmph, you look like you can handle yourself worth a damn, too.
Maeda Cú Chulainn Alter:
Fine, I can take you on for a while.
I was just looking to kill some time.
Oda Kippoushi:
Great! But I wouldn't take the Fool of Owari lightly if I were you, or we might end up killing more than time!
Warring States' Winning Samurai
Nobbu:
Hmm hm hm hmmm♪ Ahh, what a lovely day. Makes me feel like breaking out into an impromptu Atsumori.
Nobbu:
A human life spans but fifty years♪
Set against life in the heavens♪ (Cute voice)
Nobbu:
Aah! What was that!?
Nobbu:
Was that a sniper? Is someone trying to snipe me!?
Saika Emiya Alter:
...Can't believe I missed.
Nagao Kagetora:
Who sent you!?
Saika Emiya Alter:
...I've been hired to assassinate Oda Nobunaga.
Nobbu:
Dammit! Who's your client?
It's gotta be the monks from the temple, right?
Nobbu:
Then again, I guess it could be the Matsunaga, or the Ashikaga, or... Aw crap, I really have made a lot of enemies, haven't I!?
Nagao Kagetora:
I guess so. Heck, even I led a siege against you at one point.
Saika Emiya Alter:
Once I kill you, it won't matter who sent me.
Prepare to die, Oda Nobunaga.
Nobbu:
Damn, I just realized you've got knives on your guns! Or, uh, guns on your knives? Either way, you Saika bastards are always coming up with new tricks, huh?
Nobbu:
Fine! If that's how you want to play, my Demon King Gatling Gun'll pump you full of holes before you can even decide which weapon you want to use!
Japan's Best Roman Daimyo
???:
Welcome! I am Nero, the greatest Roman Daimyo in all of Japan!
Roman Daimyo Nero:
I am also the Roman Daimyo who rules the Roman Osaka Empire!
Fujimaru 1:
Uh, Your Imperial Highness, last I checked, you're not an Alter.
Fujimaru 2:
The greatest Roman Daimyo in Japan? ...Ow, my head...
Roman Daimyo Nero:
Umu! I was just thinking the time was right for me to gain an Alter form of my own. Think of this as an Alter test run.
Roman Daimyo Nero:
Unfortunately, we didn't even have the budget for a palette swap!
Nagao Kagetora:
I didn't know these Alter things were so, um, trendy.
Nagao Kagetora:
Does this mean there's an Uesugi Kenshin Alter in the works as well?
Nagao Kagetora:
Don't you think the name "Kenshin" even sounds like it would be perfect for an Alter?
Okita Souji:
Um, I think you're already pretty close to an Alter's color scheme as it is, Kagetora.
Roman Daimyo Nero:
At any rate!
Roman Daimyo Nero:
Now that I have come to this golden land of Zipang, I will collect its treasures and found a new Japanese Roman Empire!
Roman Daimyo Nero:
Now, what was it that Rider with the funny beard told me again...?
Roman Daimyo Nero:
Oh, yes! He said there is a book called “The Travels of” um...someone, which says this land has a veritable mountain of gold just waiting to be claimed!
Chief Retainer Mash:
Are you talking about “The Travels of Marco Polo”?
Roman Daimyo Nero:
That's it!
Roman Daimyo Nero:
Umu! The Eastern nation of Zipang, where gold adorns the land! What could be better than that!
Fujimaru 1:
Um, I'm afraid the information in that book is kind of–Okay, mostly wrong, Your Imperial Highness.
Fujimaru 2:
I guess there are a fair number of gold mines here, but that's all...
Roman Daimyo Nero:
What!? Say it's not so!
GUDAGUDA Majin War
Demon Lord Okita Alter:
...So, you have come, Chaldeans.
Chief Retainer Mash:
Come on, Okita Alter, let's go home.
Chacha's been worried sick about you.
Okita Souji:
Yeah, Alter me. I swear, you can be such a handful sometimes...
Demon Lord Okita Alter:
...I cannot. For you see, I cannot leave this place.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Hang on. Something's not right here...
Demon King Nobunaga:
...You aren't really Okita Alter, are you?
Demon Lord Okita Alter:
...Heh. Well done, Demon King Nobunaga.
Demon Lord Okita Alter:
I suppose I should have known a Nobunaga would see right through me.
Rengokuken:
That's right, it is I! The sword with the power of the Counter Force: Rengokuken!
Fujimaru 1:
The sword!? The sword has been talking all this time!?
Fujimaru 2:
I thought Rengokuken had Nobbu's power, not the Counter Force's...
Demon King Nobunaga:
Now I see. So you're the one who's controlling Okita Alter.
Nagao Kagetora:
I've never heard of a sword controlling its wielder before... And how is it so powerful!?
Rengokuken:
I care not if you are god or demon. Stand in my way, and I shall hurl you into the infinite rift!
--BATTLE--
Rengokuken:
Dammit! I guess this is it!
Fujimaru 1:
Come on, Alter! Wake up!
Fujimaru 2:
Huh? Is she...
Okita Alter:
...Nnn...
Okita Alter:
Uh-oh, I must've fallen asleep.
Hm? Oh, morning, Master.
Okita Alter:
...Is something wrong? What are you doing here?
Nagao Kagetora:
Wait... Was she just sleeping this whole time?
Rengokuken:
Tch! Just my luck...
Okita Alter:
Hm? Did Rengoku do something while I was asleep?
Fujimaru 1:
Well...that might be understating it...
Fujimaru 2:
We think Rengokuken was controlling you.
Okita Alter:
Really? Is that true, Rengoku?
Rengokuken:
Well, you know, what can I say? You were sleeping so soundly that I didn't want to wake you up.
Rengokuken:
So I thought I'd let you get a good, long rest for once...
Demon King Nobunaga:
THAT'S why you went to all the trouble of maintaining this Singularity?
Rengokuken:
Oh buzz off. This is the only kind of place she can get any decent shut-eye. That's just how she's built.
Okita Alter:
I see... So you did all this just to let me rest...
Rengokuken:
Hey, it wasn't just you. I was pretty beat myself.
Fujimaru 1:
Thanks, Rengoku.
Fujimaru 2:
You're a good sword, Rengoku.
Rengokuken:
Heh. Okay, I'm shutting up now. Make sure she doesn't get into any trouble, all right?
Chief Retainer Mash:
Um... Is that the Singularity falling apart?
Rengokuken:
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. You know that Holy Grail you guys left behind? It stuck to the remains of one of those reeeally dangerous guys and made it even bigger.
Rengokuken:
It's a good thing you showed up when you did. I don't know how much longer I'd've been able to keep it in check.
Fujimaru 1:
Huh?
Fujimaru 2:
What guys? Please tell me you don't mean
Dark Giant:
RRRAAAAAAHHH!!!
Okita Souji:
Way to bury the lead!!!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Damn, it's huger than ever! Where the hell's this thing get off evolving and regenerating on its own!?
Okita Alter:
I'm sorry Rengoku caused you so much trouble.
Here, let me handle this.
Okita Alter:
Master, you take the others and–
Fujimaru 1:
No way! We're all going home together!
Okita Alter:
...Master.
Demon King Nobunaga:
...
Nagao Kagetora:
Hehe... Sounds good to me! We'll take care of this together, then we'll all go home together!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Hey, I'm sure we'll have an easier time with this thing compared to Maxwell's Demon.
Demon King Nobunaga:
After all, we've got Bishamonten, the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven, and a Counter Force Guardian on our side!
Nagao Kagetora:
A god, a demon, and the Counter Force... You know, you're right. Together, I bet we could save the entire world!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Oh, yeah, I guess we've got a boring old regular man-slayer too, don't we?
Okita Souji:
You just can't quit while you're ahead,
can you, Nobbu!?
Okita Alter:
I see... Yes, you're right.
Okita Alter:
Let's all go home together...to Chaldea!
--BATTLE--
Chacha:
Gosh, Chacha had no idea about any of that.
Chacha:
Chacha was having so much fun in the furry park that Chacha didn't even notice you were gone.
Chacha:
Oh, here. Chacha got you some Atalan-tea as a souvenir.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Where did she even find the time to make these cheap souvenirs...?
Demon King Nobunaga:
Anyway, I was wondering where you were. I never guessed you'd be living it up in the park I wasn't allowed into.
Chacha:
Well hey, at least you found Little Okita!
Like Chacha always says, all's well that ends well!
Okita Souji:
I sure hope that's the last time you get lost in a Singularity, Alter me.
Okita Alter:
Still, I was really happy that you all came to find me. Joyful, even.
Fujimaru 1:
I'm just glad we were able to find you.
Okita Alter:
Next time, I'll research my destination before I go, then I'll make a list of everywhere I plan to visit.
Fujimaru 2:
Maybe we should stick a GPS on Rengoku...
H：Rengokuken:
C'mon, don't do that. No one's gonna be afraid of a demonic sword with a GPS on it.
Demon King Nobunaga:
Sheesh. Who would've thought one little box could cause so much trouble?
Nagao Kagetora:
It's a little terrifying that something so small could manifest a world so complex. I hope I never have to go back in there again.
Mash:
C-come quick! Now Mori got left behind in the box and spawned a Singularity full of nothing but Berserkers!
Demon King Nobunaga:
Mwahahahaha! Nope, that's it! We're done here!