All In! Las Vegas Championship Match - Seven Duels of Swordbeauties!
Marvel! Swordbeauties Emerge!
...There is nothing one can do about it.
Shamelessness and anxiety are both inextricable aspects of who we are.
No matter how much we may struggle against them, it wouldn't make any difference.
Every person is no more than a tiny minnow swimming in a vast ocean. We are all powerless against the currents that shape our lives.
Humans are born into this world in helpless, infantile forms. It is nigh impossible for them to do just about anything.
All that is to say...
...everyone makes mistakes during the hopelessly immature period of their lives.
That's true for me... For you...
For anyone and everyone.
No exceptions.
Time and Date: Unknown
Katsushika Hokusai, Chaldea
???:
...Phew.
???:
That was too damn easy.
???:
A little practice swing, and bam, down went the wall. What do they even build these things out of?
???:
Don't they reinforce 'em with wizardry and magecraft and stuff?
Katsushika Hokusai:
How about it, pal?
Fujimaru 1:
...Hokusai? Is that you?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Sure is! Nice ta see ya know who I am!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Guess that means you're my Master, huh? Ya know, I think I can sense some kinda connection or somethin' between us.
Katsushika Hokusai:
In that case, I guess I better introduce maself proper like!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'm Katsushika Oui, aka Katsushika Hokusai, an up-and-comin' swordswoman-slash-painter descended from the Kira clan's samurai family!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Basically, ya might even call this swordfighter an' artist a fairy someday!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Anyway, I was thinkin' I'd start by proving I'm the greatest swordmaster around these parts...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...so I'm countin' on you to show me around!
Fou:
...Fou?
Fujimaru 1:
Huh?
Fujimaru 2:
Why's she acting like we've never met before?
Mash:
W-well, Senpai, from what I've been able to piece together, it looks like Oui...
Mash:
...Er, this manifestation of Hokusai hasn't just undergone a change in Spirit Origin, but in memories as well!
Da Vinci:
Oh yes, I'm observing this on my end too. Hmm, I see. So that's this summer's “it” girl, hmm?
Da Vinci:
As far as I can tell from looking at her readings here, it looks to be the same thing that happens every year.
Mash:
What thing?
Da Vinci:
You know, the thing! The thing that happens to a bunch of Servants right around summertime.
Da Vinci:
A spontaneous change in Spirit Origin usually brought about by interference from other Servants or even by the Servant in question.
Da Vinci:
That's right! I'm talking about...swimsuit season!
Fujimaru 1:
I can't believe it's that time of year again!
Fujimaru 2:
The time when Spirit Origins change left and right!
Da Vinci:
Exactly.
Da Vinci:
It's a far cry from what a change in Spirit Origin meant originally, but that's still basically what's going on.
Da Vinci:
The Chaldea-Style Summer Spirit Origin Transformation (patent pending) usually involves a drastic change in appearance with almost no change to the Servant's interior...
Da Vinci:
...but it looks like she might be an exception to the rule. I wonder if that's because she was originally a Foreigner?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Oh? Where'd you come from, ghostie? And why do ya look so pale?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Then again, I guess it'd be weird if ya weren't pale, seein' how you're a ghost an' all.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...No, wait, hang on.
Katsushika Hokusai:
You sure you're a ghost? Looking awfully gossamer, even for a specter...
Da Vinci:
I see. It looks like she doesn't even remember that video calls are a thing. Her memories must be very muddled.
Da Vinci:
In which case...
Da Vinci:
...there's currently no way to say if she chose to change her outfit of her own accord, or if someone else persuaded her to.
Da Vinci:
It does look like the change in her Spirit Origin was kind of haphazard, but I can't figure out anything more than that at this point.
Da Vinci:
Still, I can at least say for sure that we're still dealing with the Katsushika Hokusai we knew before, just with a different Spirit Origin. That is to say, there is the octopus form of the painter Katsushika Hokusai, as well as the human form of his daughter, Katsushika Oui.
Mash:
So this is the swimsuit version of Katsushika Hokusai...
Mash:
And we don't know if she changed outfits of her own accord, or if someone else compelled her to...
Fou:
Fou... Fou fo...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Psh, who cares what some ghost thinks!? I'm here now, and that's all that matters. Yep!
Katsushika Hokusai:
As a painter and swordmaster, I'm gonna take on every bruiser I can find and uncover the essence of the sword!
Katsushika Hokusai:
That way, I'll be able to paint anything, no matter how ostentatious!
Katsushika Hokusai:
So I'm countin' on you to help me out, Master! Find as many skilled fighters as ya can and bring 'em all together! Especially swordsmen, fencers, and swordmasters!
Mash:
S-Senpai, I've never seen Hokusai be so aggressive! In multiple senses of the word!
Fujimaru 1:
She might not look that different, but she's acting like a whole different person!
Fujimaru 2:
I'll say! She's really raring to go!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hell yeah!
F：Da Vinci:
Hey guys! Don't worry, I'm observing this on my end too. Hmm, I see. So that's this summer's “it” girl, hmm?
F：Da Vinci:
As far as I can tell from looking at her readings here, it looks to be the same thing that happens every year.
Mash:
What thing?
Holmes:
I believe you're well aware of this “thing” by now, given how you've seen it for yourselves every summer as of late.
Holmes:
A spontaneous change in Spirit Origin usually brought about by interference from other Servants or even by the Servant in question.
F：Da Vinci:
And that means summertime! Which ALSO means...swimsuit season!
Fujimaru 1:
I can't believe it's that time of year again!
F：Da Vinci:
It sure is!
Fujimaru 2:
The time when Spirit Origins change left and right!
F：Da Vinci:
You know it!
F：Da Vinci:
It might be a far cry from what a change in Spirit Origin originally meant, but that's still basically what's going on.
F：Da Vinci:
The Chaldea-Style Summer Spirit Origin Transformation (patent pending) usually involves a drastic change in appearance with almost no change to the Servant's interior, but–
Holmes:
Indeed, Ms. Hokusai would appear to be an exception to the rule. Perhaps it has something to do with her original Spirit Origin belonging to an Extra class?
Holmes:
A fascinating phenomenon...but doubtless still one with a perfectly logical explanation.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Oh? Where'd you come from, ghostie? And why do ya look so pale?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Then again, I guess it'd be weird if you weren't pale, seein' how you're ghosts and all.
Katsushika Hokusai:
A ghost dad and his ghost daughter, huh. You don't look related... But then, I guess I ain't one to talk!
F：Da Vinci:
Hear that, Daddy Holmes?
Holmes:
Stop that.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Well, it's nice to see you get along so well! Remind me, ghosts and Heroic Spirits ain't the same thing, right?
F：Da Vinci:
Hmm, looks like she doesn't even remember that video calls are a thing. Her memories must be pretty muddled.
F：Da Vinci:
In which case...
Holmes:
I'm afraid it's currently impossible to say whether she chose to change her outfit of her own accord, or was persuaded into doing so by another.
Holmes:
At this point, given how she has even forgotten about these transmissions, all we can say is that the change to her Spirit Origin appears to be rather...slapdash.
Holmes:
It would be all too easy to speculate on how this state of affairs came about, but–
F：Da Vinci:
Yeah, yeah, you're not gonna cut to the chase anytime soon, are you?
F：Da Vinci:
Let me guess: “The time is not yet right.”
Well? Did I get it?
Fujimaru 1:
Don't just raise your eyebrow at us!
Fujimaru 2:
That's Holmes, all right...for better and, y'know, worse...
Holmes:
Hahaha.
Holmes:
I can at least assure you that despite the change to her memories, that is still the same Katsushika Hokusai we knew before, only with a different Spirit Origin.
Holmes:
I have observed enough to say that if nothing else, that is not an imposter taking her place.
F：Da Vinci:
Specifically, they're an octopus form of the painter Katsushika Hokusai, and a human form of his daughter, Katsushika Oui.
Mash:
So this is the swimsuit version of Katsushika Hokusai...
Mash:
And we don't know if she changed outfits of her own accord, or if someone else compelled her to...
Mash:
This is quite the mystery!
Fou:
Fou... Fou fo...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Psh, who cares what some ghost thinks!? I'm here now, and that's all that matters. Yep!
Katsushika Hokusai:
As a painter and swordmaster, I'm gonna take on every bruiser I can find and uncover the essence of the sword!
Katsushika Hokusai:
That way, I'll be able to paint anything, no matter how ostentatious!
Katsushika Hokusai:
So I'm countin' on you to help me out, Master! Find as many skilled fighters as ya can and bring 'em all together! Especially swordsmen, fencers, and swordmasters!
Mash:
S-Senpai, I've never seen Hokusai be so aggressive! In multiple senses of the word!
Fujimaru 1:
She might not look that different, but she's acting like a whole different person!
Fujimaru 2:
I'll say! She's really raring to go!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hell yeah!
Heading Out! To Dazzling Las Vegas!
Grand Canyon
Swordswoman:
...I can't believe this is happening. I was just traveling around like always.
Swordswoman:
I never dreamed I'd end up in a predicament this dire. Who could have?
Swordswoman:
How did this...
Swordswoman:
Hahaha, guess I'd still be in this boat even if I had seen this coming!
Swordswoman:
I've been traveling without a cent to my name this whole time. It was inevitable I'd go a little nuts from hunger!
Swordswoman:
Haha, then again, I probably shouldn't be making light of this.
Swordswoman:
I've been caught up in all sorts of weirdness, but I don't think I've ever had to rack my brain like this.
Swordswoman:
This must be unprecedented for me! At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if hell froze over and pigs grew wings!
Swordswoman:
There's no way I can hack and slash my way out of this one! I need a good tactician, or at least a hero who can think on their feet!
Swordswoman:
Aw man...
Swordswoman:
Where's Fujimaru when I need [♂ him /♀ her]!?
Mash:
So we know that Hokusai's Spirit Origin has changed...but we still don't know why.
Mash:
Scáthach's group doesn't seem to know anything about it.
Fujimaru 1:
Well, more people are changing their Spirit Origins themselves these days.
Mash:
That's true...
Fujimaru 2:
Maybe she'll go back to normal once summer is over?
Mash:
Oh, maybe! If past summers are any indication, that does usually seem to be the case...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Oh for... What's the sense in runnin' yourself ragged thinkin' about things you can't know!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Never mind about me! All that matters is what I'm gonna do and where I'll do it!
Katsushika Hokusai:
And on that note, heh, this looks like the perfect place.
Katsushika Hokusai:
There's heroes from pretty much any walk of life you can name 'round here, right? I even get the sense they show up in this room especially often...
Mash:
W-well, yes. This is the cafeteria, so...
Mash:
Oh, wait! Does that mean you still have some memories related to Chaldea after all?
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Oho. Interesting.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hm?
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
I have heard one comes across these frequently during the summer. So this is what they were talking about.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
You must be one of the new Swimsuit Swordmasters.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
As one Servant under the same Master to another, might I ask your True Name?
Mash:
...Huh? Wh-what are you talking about, Yagyu?
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Ah, forgive me, Lady Mash. I was not addressing you, but this young woman here.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
From the katana you bear, and the way you dress, it is clear you can be none but a Swimsuit Swordmaster.
Fujimaru 1:
Swimsuit...Swordmaster?
Fujimaru 2:
As in, a swordmaster who wears a swimsuit?
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Indeed.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
There is still much I have to learn about the modern world and its customs, but even I have heard of this.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Every year, in the far-off lands of western North America, there is a grand competition held to determine the greatest Swimsuit Swordmaster in the world.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
It is known as...the Championship Match...
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
...the Seven Duels of Swordbeauties!
Fujimaru 1:
!!!
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Thus, given that this young lady carries swords and wears a swimsuit, I can only assume she must be one of the Swimsuit Swordmasters taking part.
Fujimaru 1:
...Are you pulling my leg here, Yagyu?
Fujimaru 2:
You're really, truly, genuinely serious? Like, for real?
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
I would never dream of deceiving you, Master. I swear on my honor that everything I have told you is true.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
If you desire proof, you need merely behold the Swimsuit Swordmaster standing right there.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Why else would she be dressed like that unless she were one of the competing Swimsuit Swordmasters?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Swimsuit...Swordmaster...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Y-yeah! That's gotta be what I am!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I mean, I'm definitely wearin' a swimsuit here, and since I'm wearin' swords, I must be some kinda swordsman...
Katsushika Hokusai:
E-even though I've never actually fought a single battle...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Or studied anything in the way of form or technique... Or ever did anything more than a few practice swings...
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Sniff)...
(Sniff)...
Fujimaru 1:
Hokusai?
Fujimaru 2:
Are you okay?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Wh-what's with the look of pity!? I'm Katsushika Hokusai! I ain't gonna go out as just another ukiyo-e painter!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I already made up my mind that I was gonna be a painter-slash-swordswoman-slash-fairy! As my Master, all you gotta do is sit back and watch me succeed!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'll be fine! My ancestors were swordsmen, so that makes me one, too! I can SO do this!
Katsushika Hokusai:
That's right! I'm gonna be the Swimsuit Swordmaster to end all Swimsuit Swordmasters!
Mash:
Um, I'm afraid I'm still not sure what it is you're talking about...
Mash:
But I guess this means Hokusai was one of those, um, Swimsuit Swordmasters all along then, Senpai?
Fujimaru 1:
I am SO lost right now.
Mash:
I-I see...
Fujimaru 2:
Well, it is summer.
Mash:
That's true!
Mash:
...Huh? Um, Senpai? I don't see how that actually explains anything...
Fou:
Fou...
Da Vinci:
H-hold it! Hold everything!
Da Vinci:
What the hell are Swimsuit Swordmasters!? I've never heard of them, and there's nothing in the database about–
Da Vinci:
...Oh, wait. Yes there is.
Fujimaru 1:
There is!?
Fujimaru 2:
I guess that settles that then.
Da Vinci:
Sorry about that. See, I couldn't find anything about the term “Swimsuit Swordmaster,” or where it originated.
Da Vinci:
I even checked past legends and historical documents, and none of them turned out anything either.
Da Vinci:
But when I tried having Sheba do a plain old run-of-the-mill scan, there it was.
Mash:
What was, Da Vinci?
Da Vinci:
In western North America, right around the Grand Canyon...
Da Vinci:
...there's a minute Singularity.
Mash:
!
Siegfried:
I see... Now I understand what my body has been aching for.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Wh-who ordered the tall drink of water?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hm? Whoa, my skin's getting all tingly...
Wait. Are you...?
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Lord Siegfried.
Siegfried:
I'm not sure when I acquired this new outfit, but it seems I too have been–
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Indeed.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
You must also have been chosen to be a Swimsuit Swordmaster, Lord Siegfried.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
In other words, you must now set off for the western lands and take part in a series of championship matches.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
If you do not, your new clothing shall eventually turn its fangs towards you.
Siegfried:
I know little of these Swimsuit Swordmasters, but it seems I had best accept my fate.
Siegfried:
So, I must go west. That's the most exciting news I've heard in a long time, to put it mildly.
Mash:
N-now you're a Swimsuit Swordmaster(?) too, Siegfried!?
Mash:
W-wait! I just realized something!
Mash:
You don't have your sword on you anymore!
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Lady Mash.
Siegfried:
I appreciate your concern, Mash. But you need not worry. Even in this outfit, my Noble Phantasm remains unchanged.
Siegfried:
I was always a swordsman; now, I wear a swimsuit as well. Thus, I am a Swimsuit Swordmaster. Amazing.
Fujimaru 1:
...
Fujimaru 2:
What is even happening...
Siegfried:
You're too kind, Master.
Fujimaru 1:
I don't think that's the issue here?
Fujimaru 1:
Khh... Why are you smiling at me like that?
Katsushika Hokusai:
......
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Damn, this Swimsuit Swordmaster stuff is pretty serious business, ain't it?
Katsushika Hokusai:
All right! Now that I got a look at the tall drink of water's face, I've got a pretty good handle on what it entails, and I'm ready to take it all on my own self!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Arrows? Bullets? Cannonballs? Lightning? Bring 'em! I'll handle 'em all without breakin' a sweat!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I ain't stoppin' till I've won all Seven Duels of Swordbeauties!
Da Vinci:
...Broadly speaking, you have three primary goals for this Rayshift.
Da Vinci:
First: uncover what led to this change in Katsushika Hokusai's Spirit Origin. Second: find a way to stabilize Siegfried's new outfit.
Da Vinci:
And third: erase the absolute hell outta this minute North American Singularity!
Da Vinci:
To repeat, those'll be your three main goals during this Rayshift.
Da Vinci:
We'll be sending Fujimaru, Mash, Hokusai, and Siegfried...
Da Vinci:
I assume that you won't be joining them, Yagyu Tajima-no-kami?
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
I am afraid I cannot. Only those clad in swimsuits are fit to enter this latest Singularity.
Da Vinci:
...Hahaha. I can only imagine what kind of weird-ass Singularity this must be!
Da Vinci:
All right, I think that should do it.
So, everyone ready?
Da Vinci:
Then let's get this Rayshift started!
H：Da Vinci:
H-hold it! Hold everything!
H：Da Vinci:
Swimsuit Swordmasters!? There's nothing in the records about those...
H：Da Vinci:
Let's see... There isn't anything about them in the database, either... Right...?
Da Vinci:
...Wat.
Mash:
Is something wrong, Da Vinci?
Da Vinci:
It's here.
Da Vinci:
There really is a database entry about them!
Fujimaru 1:
There is!?
Fujimaru 2:
I guess that settles that then.
Da Vinci:
Hehe, sorry about that. I couldn't find anything about the term “Swimsuit Swordmaster,” or where it originated.
Da Vinci:
I even checked past legends and historical documents, and none of them turned out anything either.
Da Vinci:
But then I tried a plain old run-of-the-mill scan, and there it was.
Mash:
What was, Da Vinci?
Da Vinci:
In western North America, right around the Grand Canyon...
Da Vinci:
...there's a minute Singularity.
Mash:
!
Siegfried:
I see... Now I understand what my body has been aching for.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Wh-who ordered the tall drink of water?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hm? Whoa, my skin's getting all tingly...
Wait. Are you...?
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Lord Siegfried.
Siegfried:
I'm not sure when I acquired this new outfit, but it seems I too have been–
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Indeed.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
You must also have been chosen to be a Swimsuit Swordmaster, Lord Siegfried.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
In other words, you must now set off for the western lands and take part in a series of championship matches.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
If you do not, your new clothing shall eventually turn its fangs towards you.
Siegfried:
I know little of these Swimsuit Swordmasters, but it seems I had best accept my fate.
Siegfried:
So, I must go west. That's the most exciting news I've heard in a long time, to put it mildly.
Mash:
N-now you're a Swimsuit Swordmaster too, Siegfried!?
Mash:
W-wait! I just realized something!
Mash:
You don't have your sword on you anymore!
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Lady Mash.
Siegfried:
I appreciate your concern, Mash. But you need not worry. Even in this outfit, my Noble Phantasm remains unchanged.
Siegfried:
I was always a swordsman; now, I wear a swimsuit as well. Thus, I am a Swimsuit Swordmaster. Amazing.
Fujimaru 1:
...
Fujimaru 2:
What is even happening...
Siegfried:
You're too kind, Master.
Fujimaru 1:
I don't think that's the issue here?
Fujimaru 1:
Khh... Why are you smiling at me like that?
Katsushika Hokusai:
......
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Damn, this Swimsuit Swordmaster stuff is pretty serious business, ain't it?
Katsushika Hokusai:
All right! Now that I got a look at the tall drink of water's face, I've got a pretty good handle on what it entails, and I'm ready to take it all on my own self!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Arrows? Bullets? Cannonballs? Lightning? Bring 'em! I'll handle 'em all without breakin' a sweat!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I ain't stoppin' till I've won all Seven Duels of Swordbeauties!
Goredolf:
This is what you wanted Rayshift authorization for? Swimsuits and swordmasters?
Goredolf:
Didn't I tell you there was to be no more than one attempt at humor every two months? Or has the summer heat already gone to your head?
Goredolf:
Still, I can certainly understand the desire for a summer vacation.
Goredolf:
And naturally, it's incumbent upon every leader to be sensitive to their subordinates' total welfare. One can't have labor without welfare, after all.
Goredolf:
But, as I've said far too many times already...
Goredolf:
...we are still dealing with an urgent and ongoing crisis!
Goredolf:
Have you forgotten that the entire surface of the Earth has been bleached white!? There's not a single blue ocean left for you to go traipsing off to in a swimsuit!
Goredolf:
We don't have the luxury of dreaming about a relaxing summer vacation in some nice resort! Do you get that!?
Fujimaru 1:
I get it.
Goredolf:
Oh no you don't. Not by half!
Goredolf:
Put yourself in my shoes for a second. What am I supposed to think upon hearing you'll be Rayshifting to western North America because you have to deal with Swimsuit Swordmasters!?
Goredolf:
Did you expect me to say, “Bye, everyone! Have a good time and bring me back something nice”? I've got half a mind to issue an order for a psych evaluation on the lot of you!
Da Vinci:
All right, Director, eeeasy does it. Just calm down, okay?
Goredolf:
Do you really think repeatedly punching me in the stomach will help me calm down?
Da Vinci:
Come on, think about it. It's not like this would be the first Singularity that came about when someone made a wish on an almost Holy Grail amount of magical energy resources, right?
Da Vinci:
This particular Singularity happens to involve Swimsuit Swordmasters in western North America, that's all.
Da Vinci:
Is it really that strange compared to some of the other things we've seen?
Goredolf:
...
...
Goredolf:
...Is it me? Am I the odd one out here?
Holmes:
Hahaha. I take it that means we have your permission then, Director?
Goredolf:
How can you laugh while keeping your face so eerily straight, Administrative Advisor!? It's freaking me out!
Holmes:
...Broadly speaking, you have three primary goals for this Rayshift.
Holmes:
First: uncover what led to this change in Katsushika Hokusai's Spirit Origin. Second: find a way to stabilize Siegfried's new outfit.
Da Vinci:
And third: erase the absolute hell outta this minute North American Singularity!
Da Vinci:
To repeat, those'll be your three main goals during this Rayshift.
Da Vinci:
We'll be sending Fujimaru, Mash, Hokusai, and Siegfried...
Da Vinci:
I assume that you won't be joining them, Yagyu Tajima-no-kami?
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
I am afraid I cannot. Only those clad in swimsuits are fit to enter this latest Singularity.
Da Vinci:
Hmm, is that so? Does that mean you can't even go unless you're wearing one?
Da Vinci:
I wonder how much truth there is to that... I wouldn't have minded checking it out for a bit myself...
Goredolf:
...Ahem.
Holmes:
Da Vinci.
Da Vinci:
Yeah, yeah, I know. Okay, just let me get my head back in the game... There.
Da Vinci:
Oh, so Mash, don't forget that the Ortinax is still undergoing maintenance, so try to avoid fighting as much as possible, okay?
Da Vinci:
All right, I think that should do it.
So, everyone ready?
Da Vinci:
Then let's get this Rayshift started!
--ARROW--
Las Vegas (Interim)
Katsushika Hokusai:
Whoooa! I've never seen anythin' like this!
Katsushika Hokusai:
That's Himeji Castle, an Egyptian pyramid, a European castle, modern buildings...!
Katsushika Hokusai:
They got anythin' and everythin' under the sun 'ere! A really, really hot sun!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Man, just look at all those glitterin' towers! Now I know why they call 'em skyscrapers. They really do seem like they're scraping right up against the sky!
Katsushika Hokusai:
This is amazing! I had no idea this is what big cities on the other side of the ocean were like!
Mash:
Senpai, I'm certain this area was originally supposed to be desert.
Mash:
And then there's this city's atmosphere...
Mash:
There's something about it that reminds me of the largest city in Nevada...Las Vegas.
Fujimaru 1:
And of course, Las Vegas is synonymous with gambling!
Fujimaru 2:
And of course, Las Vegas is synonymous with casinos!
Mash:
Right! If you go there by plane, there are slot machines waiting for you right there in the airport...
Mash:
...and there are casinos on the first floor of every famous hotel that let you play a quick game as easily as grabbing something from a vending machine.
Mash:
Las Vegas is famous for its entertainment and excitement, and this city looks just like it!
Fujimaru 1:
And above all...it's freaking HOT!
Mash:
Yes, I'm told the real Las Vegas is brutally hot too, given that it's in the middle of a desert.
Mash:
“Imagine an enormous hair dryer approximately one kilometer in diameter blasting the town with superheated wind at all hours of the day, and you will have some idea of what Las Vegas heat is like.”
Mash:
That description from Chaldea's database was so vivid that I still remember it word-for-word!
Mash:
And now that I'm at a place so similar to it, I have to agree! Not to mention Fou looks like he's absolutely roasting in his fur coat!
Fou:
Fooou... Sooo fouttt...
Siegfried:
So Las Vegas served as the model for this Singularity...
Siegfried:
It amazes me that people were able to create a city this large in the middle of a desert. The power of civilization is truly staggering.
Siegfried:
However, while this city may seem similar to Las Vegas, it is but an imitation of the real thing.
Mash:
Yes. Everything here was most likely made by a Holy Grail.
Mash:
At a glance, it would seem to have the same landmarks as the real Las Vegas...
Mash:
...but there are key differences in their size and positioning.
Mash:
Not to mention that the real Las Vegas doesn't have an enormous swimming pool surrounding the entire city.
Mash:
Still, maybe it's thanks to that pool that this heat is bearable. In fact, the sunlight feels kind of pleasant.
Siegfried:
A swimming pool, huh... (My experiences with water haven't been altogether pleasant, but I suppose they don't need to know that right now.)
Siegfried:
...My clothing is restless. It's telling me that nothing about this city is right.
Siegfried:
Everything here was made solely for the battles to be held between Swimsuit Swordmasters.
Fujimaru 1:
City of Swimsuit Swordmasters Las Vegas (Fake)...
Katsushika Hokusai:
So this whole city's here just for us ta show off our skills!? That's awesome!
Siegfried:
An arena the size of a city? As troubling as that sounds...I must admit, to my embarrassment, that the prospect does excite me.
Siegfried:
I can almost feel this outfit of mine roaring with exhilaration...
Katsushika Hokusai:
......
Katsushika Hokusai:
(I can't believe the tall drink of water can say that with a straight face.)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(He's good... I think I'll try takin' a page from his playbook.)
Katsushika Hokusai:
I-I can sense it too.
Katsushika Hokusai:
But it ain't me who's excited. It's my four katana here. They're tellin' me they wanna fight.
Katsushika Hokusai:
They wanna cut down anyone who stands in the way of us becomin' the greatest Swimsuit Swordmaster ever.
Siegfried:
I see...
Siegfried:
It must be hard for you, having your swords be so restless.
Katsushika Hokusai:
!!!
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Yikes! He really knows how to hit where it hurts!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Not good. If I let my guard down even for a moment, he might take me down 'fore I even know what's happened!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(No, stop that. Come on, Oui, get it together. Ya can't go losin' the fight before you've even drawn a sword!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(I-I can give as good as I get! I can act like the greatest swordswoman ever, better than anyone else!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Grandpas! If you're out there, I could really use ya help right 'bout now!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
......
Mash:
Um, Hokusai? Is everything okay? You suddenly went very quiet...
Siegfried:
She is simply coming to terms with her destiny. She'll rejoin us when she's ready.
Mash:
O-okay.
Fujimaru 1:
Destiny...
Siegfried:
Indeed.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...
Mash:
Hokusai!
Siegfried:
I know what she's doing. She is trembling in anticipation of battle, as any true warrior does.
Katsushika Hokusai:
(I-I can't believe this guy! He just ain't letting up with the compliments!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hehe.
Siegfried:
You have an indomitable smile. Truly, I would expect no less from a warrior carrying four swords.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...
Mash:
Hokusai!
Siegfried:
To think she was still not done trembling in anticipation...
Fujimaru 2:
You know, I wonder if the casinos are real...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Oh yeah, I been meanin' to ask. What are these casino things ya been talking 'bout?
Mash:
Well, um, they're another word for “gambling house.”
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ooh, a gambling house, huh! Business oughta be boomin' if they're lettin' people gamble in broad daylight!
Siegfried:
Gambling, huh...
Mash:
I read that casinos used to be funded and operated by mafia and organized crime gangs...
Mash:
...but in modern times, they're run by hotels and other legally sanctioned companies, and are safe for tourists to casually enjoy.
Katsushika Hokusai:
What, you're tellin' me the yakuza got nothin' ta do with gamblin' anymore? Hahaha, that's the best joke I heard in a long time!
Mash:
Um...
Siegfried:
That sounded like a hawk...
???:
I... I made it...
???:
I can't believe I finally found a city only to walk another half a day before I could actually get to it...
???:
Hours and hours of walking without so much as a burger or a bowl of udon in sight...
???:
But now... At long last...
???:
I finally made it!
Fujimaru 1:
That voice!
Musashi?:
And it looks like my good luck is still going strong!
Musashi?:
Just when I thought I couldn't take another step, I run into you guys again! It's a miracle!
Musashi?:
(Oh, wait! I almost forgot! I shouldn't be going by “Musashi” for this event!)
Musashi?:
Scratch that! Here, let me start over!
Musashi?:
Howdy, partner! Nice ta meet y'all! I'm a local Heroic Spirit that jus' happened ta find mah way to this little neck of the desert!
Siegfried:
You're a local? As in, American...?
Musashi?:
You know it! Just take a gander at this here red, white, and blue bikini! Can't ya tell I'm a rootin' tootin' gunslinger?
Musashi?:
This is great! I always wanted to try dual-wielding katana and revolvers. Now I finally got my chance! Yeehaw!
Fujimaru 1:
Whoooa whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Fujimaru 2:
Hold on, hold on! Back everything up!
Katsushika Hokusai:
“Yeehaw”?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Still, damn if you ain't a sight for sore eyes, 'specially with those crazy weapons! Makes me wish I'd brought along my brush 'n canvas!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ya know this lady, Master?
Siegfried:
Master, isn't she–
Musashi?:
Look out! Get down!
Siegfried:
Did that hawk just dive-bomb us!?
Siegfried:
Khh!
Mash:
Siegfried!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Th-the hell was that!? Do hawks usually go 'round attackin' people in desert cities like this!?
Musashi?:
Oh, that's an imitation condor! Be careful! It's about as strong as a Demonic Beast!
Musashi?:
Here it comes again!
Katsushika Hokusai:
O-oh y-yeah!? Th-this is perfect! B-b-bring it on then!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'm a Swimsuit Swordmaster of Las Vegas now! If it's a fight ya want, it's a fight you're gonna get!
Katsushika Hokusai:
My four katana are so sharp they'll send you to the beyond 'fore you know what hit ya!
Katsushika Hokusai:
(That... That was awesome! Way to go, me!)
Siegfried:
Here it comes!
--BATTLE--
Katsushika Hokusai:
Y'know...
Katsushika Hokusai:
I think I'm gettin' the hang of this!
Hrah!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ain't nobody stronger than me around!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Yay! I did it!
Musashi?:
Look out! It's not finished yet!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Huh?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Aaah!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Wow! That was close. Phewww...
Siegfried:
Good, everyone's all right. This battle is over, Master.
Mash:
Right! I can confirm that the enemy hostile has vanished!
Mash:
That creature didn't seem to be part of a normal ecosystem. It looked more like an avian Demonic Beast, or even some kind of golem!
Mash:
The pseudo-bird must have been created by the magical energy of the Holy Grail that spawned this Singularity!
Katsushika Hokusai:
......
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Hey. You, uh, really saved my rear back there. Thanks.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Looks like you're pretty good with a blade, too.
Musashi?:
Heh heh heh. I guess I am, aren't I?
Musashi?:
Even though I'm exhausted from walking for over half a day, it was easy to shrug off now that I'm a Heroic Spirit.
Musashi?:
And besides, I knew my trusty Niten Ichiryu wouldn't let me down!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Niten Ichiryu! Th-then, does that mean your True Name really is Miyamoto–
Musashi?:
Yup! Everything I said about being a local American Heroic Spirit was just something I came up with on the spot!
Musashi?:
In a Western, I'd be the woman with no name who rides into town and only wants a good meal and a place to sleep as payment for protecting someone's life and property!
Musashi?:
Yes, it is I! The ingenuous drifter, Shinmen Musa...
Musashi?:
I mean, the innocent rookie who always finds a way to triumph in the end...
C：Miyamoto Iori:
Miyamoto Iori!
Fujimaru 1:
Huh!?
C：Miyamoto Iori:
Aww yeah! Nice to meet you, people I've never seen before in my life!
--ARROW--
Katsushika Hokusai:
Aha! Now I gotcha!
Katsushika Hokusai:
So you're Miyamoto Iori, adopted child of the unrivaled master swordsman Miyamoto Musashi!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Well, as the only one to inherit Niten Ichiryu, it's no wonder you're cut out to be a Heroic Spirit and Swimsuit Swordmaster!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I gotta say though, this is still a huge surprise!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I had no idea Miyamoto Iori was a woman!
Siegfried:
...Though rare, there are occasions when the particulars of myths, legends, and history do not line up with fact.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I guess not...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Then again, I s'pose I'm a prime case of that too, seeing how I'm the peerless Katsushika Hokusai!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Uh, but that doesn't mean I'm ignorin' you, okay, Toto-sama? So don't go squirtin' ink on me!
Fujimaru 1:
Miyamoto...?
Fujimaru 2:
Iori?
Miyamoto Iori:
That's me.
Fujimaru 1:
Are you sure you're not Musashi...?
Miyamoto Iori:
Oh, have you met my mentor before? Hahaha, I guess you're not the first to say we kind of look alike.
Mash:
Kind of? If anything, I'd say you're the spitting image of her... Are you related by blood somehow?
Miyamoto Iori:
Of course not! Can you imagine Iori being my actual–
Mash:
?
Miyamoto Iori:
Uh, I mean, think about it! The Musashi you know is a female Musashi who isn't from Proper Human History, right?
Miyamoto Iori:
Well, I'm a Heroic Spirit from Proper Human History, so there's no way we're related!
Miyamoto Iori:
It's just a coincidence that we happen to look alike. Yup, that's all. Coincidence.
Fujimaru 1:
...
Miyamoto Iori:
...S-stare at me all you want. I'm still not budging on this!
Miyamoto Iori:
To reiterate, I'm Miyamoto Iori, one of the Swimsuit Swordmasters invited here to Las Vegas!
Miyamoto Iori:
And I just so happen to know more about the championship match...
Miyamoto Iori:
...aka the Seven Duels of Swordbeauties, than you do.
Miyamoto Iori:
Wouldn't you like to know what I know?
Fujimaru 1:
Well sure, that would be a big help.
Fujimaru 2:
True, we do need all the info we can get right now.
Miyamoto Iori:
Hehehe, right? Okay then, I'll go ahead and tell you everything I know!
Miyamoto Iori:
All I ask in return is a bowl of udon and a juicy burger!
Fujimaru 1:
Udon...
Miyamoto Iori:
Aah!
Miyamoto Iori:
I mean, there was a dish called, um, ooh-dun that was all the rage in Vegas a while ago!
Miyamoto Iori:
But I doubt they still have it these days, so...just the burger is fine...
Miyamoto Iori:
...Dazzling Las Vegas!
Miyamoto Iori:
You've probably already figured this much out, but this isn't the real Las Vegas.
Miyamoto Iori:
You're from modern times, so you can kind of tell something's off just by looking at it, right?
Miyamoto Iori:
This entire city is designed to serve as an arena for the Swimsuit Swordmasters who come to do battle here!
Miyamoto Iori:
But at the same time, it also serves the same function as the normal Las Vegas.
Miyamoto Iori:
In other words, this is a single gigantic glittering casino city where you can not only fight but also gamble to your heart's content!
Miyamoto Iori:
Any swordmaster can fight.
Anyone in a swimsuit can gamble.
Miyamoto Iori:
But only a true Swimsuit Swordmaster can master fighting and gambling! Makes perfect sense, doesn't it!
Miyamoto Iori:
In the real Las Vegas, casinos are run by legal corporations and major hotels...
Miyamoto Iori:
...but here in Dazzling Las Vegas, all the big casinos are run by Swimsuit Swordmasters!
Miyamoto Iori:
And since there are five big casinos in total, that means there are five Swimsuit Swordmasters running them!
Miyamoto Iori:
As you'd expect, none of them are your average Swimsuit Swordmasters.
Miyamoto Iori:
And even among them, there's one in particular who's said to be the strongest of all...
Miyamoto Iori:
Altria Ruler, the Summer Lion King!
Miyamoto Iori:
As the manager of Casino Camelot, she basically rules over all of Dazzling Las Vegas!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Yeah, okay! Now I get what's goin' on!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Altria Ruler? So she's the one overseeing all the championship matches!
Katsushika Hokusai:
This'll be over and done with sooner than I thought!
Siegfried:
I see. Now I understand.
Siegfried:
Then it would seem we need to find this Altria.
Siegfried:
As the one who rules over this city, there is a strong possibility that the Holy Grail is in her possession.
Siegfried:
What's more...
Siegfried:
...this Holy Grail probably has something to do with these outfits and the change to our Spirit Origins.
Mash:
Right!
Mash:
If we can secure this Holy Grail for ourselves, this minute Singularity should go away soon after.
Fujimaru 1:
Then what are we waiting for?
Fujimaru 2:
Then let's go find this Casino Camelot!
Miyamoto Iori:
(Munch munch)
Miyamoto Iori:
Thanks for the burger! That really hit the spot.
Miyamoto Iori:
So you want to go to Casino Camelot, huh? Well, that's easy enough. It's that white castle right over there.
Miyamoto Iori:
Although...
Miyamoto Iori:
......
Miyamoto Iori:
...I don't know if I'd recommend going there right away.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Why not? I hate beatin' 'round the bush! If it's right there, what's to stop us from just goin'!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
C'mon, Master!
Katsushika Hokusai:
You too, Siegfried! Hurry up, or I'll leave you behind!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I already cut down that giant bird blottin' out this here Las Vegas sky! Now I'm gonna dominate this champioship match, you see if I don't!
Miyamoto Iori:
...
Miyamoto Iori:
(She's acting just like a newly minted samurai still high on the excitement of winning her first real battle...)
Miyamoto Iori:
(In some ways, she reminds me of a newborn doe that's still learning how to stand on its own feet...)
Miyamoto Iori:
(But, I can sense she's got incredible potential, and I also like how she wasn't content to settle for anything less than four katana.)
Miyamoto Iori:
(Maybe she really can pull it off...)
Katsushika Hokusai:
C'mon, or else I really am gonna leave ya behind!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Bwa!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Wh-what's goin' on? I can see the castle from here...so why can't I get any closer!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
It feels like there's some kinda invisible wall here... I wonder if...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Khh!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I knew it! I can't cut through it!
Voice:
...I commend your spirit.
Voice:
Heh. I never dreamed there would be one daring enough to try and charge in alone, without so much as a letter of challenge.
Voice:
I will not condemn you for this. Indeed, all Swimsuit Swordmasters should aspire to such audacity.
Voice:
No doubt you were overcome with the urge to see how far your grace and skill with the blade could take you.
E：???:
However, as the one known as the Summer Lion King, I will not abandon the laws governing all Swimsuit Swordmasters.
Summer Lion King:
Hm...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...!
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Wh-why's it so heavy 'round here all of a sudden? It feels like the damn sky collapsed!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(W-wait. Is this the aura only a true swordmaster would possess!? Or maybe it's just bloodlust!?)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Whoa! Does this mean I'm finally able to pick up on that kind of stuff myself!?)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(That must mean I really have become a swordfighter-slash-swordsman-slash-swordmaster now!)
Summer Lion King:
Heh. Four swords, hm? Interesting.
Summer Lion King:
Between your appearance and your arsenal, you remind me greatly of a certain someone.
Summer Lion King:
...What is your True Name?
Katsushika Hokusai:
K-K-Katsushika Hokusai! I'm an ukiyo-e artist, a master swordfighter, and I'm workin' on becomin' a fairy, too!
Summer Lion King:
My, my. Quite a list of titles.
Katsushika Hokusai:
S-so what!? Ya got a problem with that!? I'm deadly serious about each an' every one of 'em!
Katsushika Hokusai:
What's wrong with havin' a buncha ways to make your name known!? Maybe I'll even take your Lion King title while I'm at it!
Miyamoto Iori:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold your horses there! You can't just run off on your own like that, you know?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Iori! C-c'mon, I can't help if y'all walk too slowly...
Summer Lion King:
Iori?
Miyamoto Iori:
That's me! Miyamoto Iori of Niten Ichiryu!
Miyamoto Iori:
And this is the Dragon-Slayer-of-the-West, his Master, and his Master's kouhai!
Siegfried:
Indeed.
Mash:
That's right! My name is Mash Kyrielight!
Fujimaru 1:
A bunny outfit, huh...
Summer Lion King:
I am the Summer Lion King, and the manager of Casino Camelot.
Summer Lion King:
Since you appear to be unaware, allow me to inform you that the bunny outfit is nothing less than the formal dress of casinos everywhere.
Summer Lion King:
I trust you feel smarter now that you have learned something today?
Fujimaru 2:
Aren't Swordmasters here supposed to wear swimsuits?
Summer Lion King:
I am the Summer Lion King, and the manager of Casino Camelot.
Summer Lion King:
Rest assured, my clothing...is water-resistant.
Fou:
Fooou...
Summer Lion King:
I must say, Miyamoto what's her name, it was quite clever of you to partner up with another Swimsuit Swordmaster.
Miyamoto Iori:
I, uh, don't know what you're talking about. Nope. Not a clue. (Hoo, hoo♪)
Siegfried:
Hm? What is she doing?
Mash:
I can only hazard a guess, but I think she's probably trying to whistle...
Siegfried:
???
Miyamoto Iori:
Besides, is there a problem with forming a partnership?
Miyamoto Iori:
'Cause I'm pretty sure I didn't see anything in the rules for the champion match against it!
Miyamoto Iori:
The only thing stopping the others from doing something similar is that they refuse to put aside their differences!
Summer Lion King:
...Hehe, very true.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Huh, really? I thought this swordfighter thing was s'posed to be all one-on-one stuff.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Wait, no they don't! Otherwise, we wouldn't have had the forty-seven ronin invadin' the Kira estate!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Plus, now that I think about it, I heard the famous Miyamoto Musashi took down the entire Yoshioka clan all by himself!
Katsushika Hokusai:
......
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Then again, I do kinda feel like there's somethin' special about swordfighters facin' off one-on-one.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Like at the battle of Ganryu Island! You know that one, right, Master? The one between Shinmen Musashi and a Ganryu sword prodigy! Oar vs. sword!
Katsushika Hokusai:
That sorta thing's just impossibly cool!
Miyamoto Iori:
(Coolness... So that's the key thing for swordfighters as far as Hokusai's concerned, huh.)
Katsushika Hokusai:
So I'd be lyin' if I said I didn't care about fightin' one on one.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Now that I've materialized as a swordfighter, I can't help but wanna fight a duel, even if I only get ta do it once!
Siegfried:
...I can understand how you feel.
Katsushika Hokusai:
!
Katsushika Hokusai:
R-right? I figured you'd understand!
Miyamoto Iori:
I get how you feel too, but, history's written by the victors and all that.
Miyamoto Iori:
I mean, we might be up against a Swimsuit Swordmaster with a Holy Grail on their side, right? It'd be way too dangerous to face an opponent like that one-on-one.
Miyamoto Iori:
Personally, I think it'd be way better to face them, say, six-to-one.
Miyamoto Iori:
(Glance)
Fujimaru 1:
You're looking at me...
Miyamoto Iori:
N-no I'm not.
Fujimaru 2:
That's an awfully specific number.
Miyamoto Iori:
Hoo, hooo♪
Mash:
Ah, she's trying to whistle again!
Summer Lion King:
...A fair and square one-on-one duel, you say?
Summer Lion King:
That is indeed a lovely idea. Very well, I will grant your wish here and now.
Miyamoto Iori:
Wait. What!?
Summer Lion King:
As you say, Miyamoto something or other, dueling a Swimsuit Swordmaster strong enough to run a casino is a losing proposition.
Summer Lion King:
But, the same cannot be said of dueling a wayward, casinoless Swimsuit Swordmaster.
Summer Lion King:
Thus, the answer is simple.
Summer Lion King:
You can duel her yourself.
Miyamoto Iori:
Wh-whoa, whoa! Just hang on! That's not–
Summer Lion King:
You brought her here. Thus, the task of teaching her what it means to be a Swimsuit Swordmaster falls to you.
Summer Lion King:
Worry not. Just this once, I will open a battleground without requiring a letter of challenge.
Summer Lion King:
I am the Summer Lion King. As the manager of the largest casino in Dazzling Las Vegas, and the one who stands above all Swimsuit Swordmasters.
Summer Lion King:
...I have the authority to bypass the usual formalities if I so please.
Summer Lion King:
Now... Come forth, my dancing spray, and perform for all who reside in this city!
Summer Lion King:
Seven Duels of Swordbeauties!
Katsushika Hokusai:
What the!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Wh-wh-wh-what's goin' on!? Everythin' here feels completely different alluva sudden!
Siegfried:
This dense magical energy...!
Master!
Mash:
Is this a kind of Reality Marble? Senpai, we've been completely cut off from Chaldea!
Mash:
Is this a kind of Reality Marble? Senpai, we've been completely cut off from the Wandering Sea!
Miyamoto Iori:
...Guess there's no turning back now.
Miyamoto Iori:
Once the Summer Lion King summons a battleground, the designated Swimsuit Swordmasters have no choice but to fight.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Whaddaya mean we got no choice? It's not like we gotta fight if we don't wanna, right?
Miyamoto Iori:
Well, yeah, that's technically true!
Miyamoto Iori:
But the thing is, if we don't fight now...
Miyamoto Iori:
...we'll never be able to leave this space!
Siegfried:
!
Mash:
You're kidding... Then, not fighting really isn't an option...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Is that so? That is pretty rough.
Katsushika Hokusai:
But ya know, I'm still a Swimsuit Swordmaster.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I may not know a lot about what that means just yet, but I do know this.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Bein' a Swimsuit Swordmaster obviously involves swimsuits and swords.
Katsushika Hokusai:
In other words, you gotta have grace AND blades! So then...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Well, it ain't like we're gonna have to kill each other, right? Not a whole lotta grace in butchering each other.
Miyamoto Iori:
Right. A loss might be painful, in more ways than one, but you'll still walk away alive.
Miyamoto Iori:
Not to mention that all Swimsuit Swordmasters are Heroic Spirits. As long as our Spirit Cores are intact, we can always recover from our injuries.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Right? That's just what I thought.
Katsushika Hokusai:
So I'm game.
Siegfried:
Hokusai...
Katsushika Hokusai:
I already decided I was gonna be the greatest Swimsuit Swordmaster of all time! Ain't no way I'm passin' up a chance to take on Miyamoto Iori of the legendary Niten Ichiryu!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Now c'mon, let's do this!
Katsushika Hokusai:
If you wanna play gunslinger with those things, Lady Iori, then go ahead and draw! I'll cut you down 'fore you can even pull the trigger!
Katsushika Hokusai:
There, I've drawn my swords! Well, Lady Iori? Are ya gonna draw yours!?
Miyamoto Iori:
(I like your spirit, Katsushika Oui! All right, I'm in! Let's see if you can get us out of this!)
Miyamoto Iori:
Well said, especially for a novice swordfighter! How could I decline after that? If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get!
Miyamoto Iori:
Your skills might still be rough around the edges, but if you're truly to become a sage one day, they'll surely ascend to the heavens. As one fated to face great evil, this battle should be the perfect warm-up!
Miyamoto Iori:
I hereby cast everything I own in with your destiny! From here on, I, Miyamoto Iori, shall be your opponent!
Miyamoto Iori:
Oh, but first, do you mind if I change outfits real quick? I'd prefer this one for an official match!
Mash:
Iori's outfit just got much more, um, athletic!
Fujimaru 1:
A competitive swimsuit and foam swords!
Fujimaru 2:
Impressive!
Miyamoto Iori:
It wouldn't be very elegant to go up against my first opponent in my western outfit, right? So I decided to go with my poolside self, since it's perfect for summer!
Miyamoto Iori:
Of course, that doesn't mean I'll be holding back! Not by a long shot! You ready, Katsushika Hokusai!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
You know it! Now c'mon! Let's have a good, clean fight!
--BATTLE--
Katsushika Hokusai:
She's strong!
Katsushika Hokusai:
But so what!? So what, I say!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I might have a foul mouth, but my heart is pure and true!
Swimming to the famed waterfalls, on a journey to enjoy the summer cool!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Now, you gotta see it to believe it!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Kirifuri, Kannon, Aoi, Rouben, Yoshitsune, Yourou, Ono, Amida!
Katsushika Hokusai:
A Tour of Waterfalls in Various Provinces!
Miyamoto Iori:
What the!?
Miyamoto Iori:
...You win! Your Tour of Waterfalls was incredible!
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Huff, huff...)
(Gasp, gasp...)
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Huh? You mean...I won...?
Summer Lion King:
Enough! This match is over!
Summer Lion King:
The winner of the first match is the Splashing Beauty, Katsushika Hokusai!
Siegfried:
They were both magnificent fighters. Though it did seem to me like Iori's swords had a hint of hesitation in them...
Siegfried:
No, it was probably just my imagination. I'm glad I got to see such a wonderful duel.
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Gasp...) I-I won! Did ya see me out there, Master!?
Fujimaru 1:
That was amazing, Oei!
Fujimaru 2:
I sure did! Congrats on your victory!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hell yeah!
Miyamoto Iori:
Well, Miyamoto Iori sure lost that one hard. Maybe this is the heavens' way of telling me it's time to train the next generation!
Miyamoto Iori:
Hokusai, you have a real talent for the sword. I mean it.
Miyamoto Iori:
I even have a feeling that by the end of this thing, your technique is gonna shock me down to my soul.
Katsushika Hokusai:
???
Summer Lion King:
Hehe.
Summer Lion King:
It would seem you do indeed possess latent potential, Splashing Beauty Hokusai.
Summer Lion King:
As for you, Miyamoto something or other, I am disappointed to see how far you have fallen.
Summer Lion King:
Despite being one of the eldest of all the Las Vegas Swimsuit Swordmasters, you have been reduced to wandering aimlessly, without even a casino to your name.
Summer Lion King:
You are a disgrace to all Swimsuit Swordmasters. If you wish to remain one, I encourage you to redeem yourself with all possible haste.
Summer Lion King:
Now then, if you will excuse me.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ah! Wait! Hold up, Ms. Summer Lion King!
Summer Lion King:
...Yes?
Katsushika Hokusai:
You're this Las Vegas place's top brass, right? So that means you're the judge of these matches, yeah?
Summer Lion King:
Yes, I suppose it does.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Well, seein' how I just won this here match...does that mean I'm the strongest Swimsuit Swordmaster of all now?
Siegfried:
...
...
Summer Lion King:
Hah. Of course not. Did you really think a single victory was all it would take to reign supreme over Las Vegas?
Mash:
!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Then, that battle was just–
Summer Lion King:
Only the first battle! Only the one who has witnessed all seven beauties that epitomize grace and blade alike–will be deemed the greatest of all Swimsuit Swordmasters, the greatest Swordbeauty!
Mash:
Seven beauties... Does that mean she'll need to win seven battles in total then?
Summer Lion King:
It does indeed.
Summer Lion King:
Including myself, there are no fewer than five Swimsuit Swordmasters who manage casinos here.
Summer Lion King:
If you truly wish to claim that you are the strongest Swimsuit Swordmaster of all, you must defeat every last one of these casino managers.
Summer Lion King:
I strongly doubt that you will be able to do so, but if, by some freak accident, you do manage to win...
Summer Lion King:
...then, at the very end...
Summer Lion King:
...I, the Summer Lion King, ruler of all of Dazzling Las Vegas, shall face you as your final opponent.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Khh...!
Katsushika Hokusai:
(This aura... Bloodlust... Whatever ya call it, it's massive! She really must be the strongest of 'em all!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(C-can I really beat her? Is it even possible!?)
Summer Lion King:
If you wish to be the strongest Swimsuit Swordmaster, Splashing Beauty...
Summer Lion King:
...then you must fight as if dancing, and dance as if fighting, in a manner befitting Dazzling Las Vegas.
Summer Lion King:
I have high hopes for you.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Sh-she's gone...
Katsushika Hokusai:
On a different note, though: Hot damn, there sure are some bangin' beauties out there!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I mean, you're prob'ly one of the five prettiest ladies I've ever met too, Ms. Iori, but that Summer Lion King's on a whole 'nother level... (Sigh) I feel like I could gaze at her for days on end...
Miyamoto Iori:
Huh? Wait, are you saying I'm beautiful? Ahahaha, oh stop, hehehehe, you shouldn't tease me like that, teehee.
Fujimaru 1:
Iori?
Miyamoto Iori:
Huh? You think I'm beautiful too? Ahahaha, now don't you start, ahahaha, I mean, I just lost a match, right? Teehee.
Fujimaru 2:
Be honest. You're totally Musashi, aren't you?
Miyamoto Iori:
(C-cough, hack!) A-ahahaha, don't be silly, I keep telling you, I'm Miyamoto Iori!
Fou:
Fooon...
Miyamoto Iori:
Anyway! What're you guys gonna do now?
Katsushika Hokusai:
You've gotta ask!? I ain't backin' down now! Not after everythin' that Summer Lion King gal told me!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'm gonna beat all the casino managers an' be the one to represent all aspects of beauty and grace.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I ain't stoppin' till I'm officially the strongest Swimsuit Swordmaster ever!
Siegfried:
I was unable to lend my assistance in your earlier battle since it was a one-on-one duel, but from here on, I will be fighting alongside you.
Siegfried:
I have no interest in the title of “strongest Swimsuit Swordmaster” myself, but if this is what we must do to obtain the Summer Lion King's Holy Grail, then I will not hesitate to draw my own blade.
Siegfried:
Now that I know she will show herself again if we make our way through the casino managers, it is clear that this is our only option.
Mash:
I-I agree. The Bounded Field surrounding Casino Camelot is very powerful...
Mash:
...but from what she told us, it does sound like we'll see her again eventually as long as we keep winning!
Fujimaru 1:
Yeah, it does.
Fujimaru 2:
If this is our only option, then that's just what we'll have to do!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hell yeah! That Summer Lion King gal's goin' down hard!
Miyamoto Iori:
Ahh, that's just the sort of teamwork I love to see from you and your friends, Fujimaru☆
Miyamoto Iori:
In that case, I'll show you all around town as your guide-slash-bodyguard!
Miyamoto Iori:
I might've been wandering around in a daze outside this city 'cause of...reasons, but I actually know my way around Dazzling Las Vegas pretty well.
Miyamoto Iori:
How about I start by quickly going over each of the five casinos?
Fujimaru 1:
Yes please!
Miyamoto Iori:
You got it! That said, they're all pretty much what you'd expect a casino to be.
Miyamoto Iori:
They mainly focus on slot machines and table games like roulette and blackjack–games of observation and luck where you can spend QP to win more QP.
Miyamoto Iori:
Naturally, each casino has its own charm thanks to the Swimsuit Swordmaster who manages it.
Miyamoto Iori:
There's Himeji, a casino that focuses on those battle royale games that are all the rage these days.
Miyamoto Iori:
There's Pharaoh, a high-class, high-roller casino that's almost like a museum in that you have to be royal, rich, or both to get in.
Miyamoto Iori:
Then there's the single most popular casino: the Dragon Palace in the middle of the desert, which is already booked solid for the next six months!
Miyamoto Iori:
This one is called Suiten Palace, and its biggest draw is the opening show put on by the most charismatic figure skater in the U.S....
Miyamoto Iori:
...Mysterious Alter Ego Λ (Lambda)!
Miyamoto Iori:
Next, we have Cirque du Requin, the next most popular casino after Suiten Palace!
Miyamoto Iori:
Its draw is a stage show consisting of dolphins and enough special effects to rival the latest Hollywood blockbuster!
Miyamoto Iori:
Finally, there's the most powerful and influential one, Camelot, the casino dominated by the Lion King and her invincible card dealing skills.
Miyamoto Iori:
And there you have it. Those are the five casinos you'll need to conquer to defeat the other Swimsuit Swordmasters.
Miyamoto Iori:
Let's see, I'd say the easiest one of those would have to be...that one.
Fujimaru 2:
No thanks! Let's just start by checking out the easiest casino!
Miyamoto Iori:
Oh my, somebody's in a rush. But hey, that'll make things easier for me, so sure, let's go pay it a visit.
Miyamoto Iori:
Okay, follow me! I'll take you to the casino run by the first Swimsuit Swordmaster right now!
Miyamoto Iori:
HIMEJI Survival Casino!
Miyamoto Iori:
Oh, right, I almost forgot.
Miyamoto Iori:
You'll need a certain amount of QP to enter each casino. Table stakes, basically. So before we head in, we'll have to do a little grinding!
Fujimaru 1:
Wat.
Miyamoto Iori:
Don't worry, it's easy. Just take down a few condors and stray machines and you should have enough in no time!
Siegfried:
Stray machines...?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I don't know what you're talking 'bout, but there ain't nothin' me and my four swords can't handle!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Let's do this, Master! Raaah!
Mash:
Ah! Hokusai, wait!
Hokusaaai!
First Casino "HIMEJI Survival Casino"
???:
This world is a blast. Why? 'Cause I don't have to worry about my draft.
???:
This world sucks. Why? 'Cause I have to worry about my draft.
???:
Ahahahaha! Now that's what I'm talking about!
???:
The bullet shells falling from the sky...
The gun barrels roaring to life...
???:
They all help keep the draft looming over me at bay.
???:
Yes, that's right.
???:
I'm Osakabehime, and I'm gleefully escaping from the reality of my never-ending draft even as I speak.
Osakabehime:
Ahh, I love me some battle royal and Dewy Mountain!
Osakabehime:
An ice-cold glass, a hot shower to wash off my sweat...
Osakabehime:
...then nothing else to do but sleep till evening, totally forgetting about my deadline.
Osakabehime:
Viva Las Vegas!
Osakabehime:
...Well, I guess I can't forget about it entirely. I'm well aware that I haven't made any progress on it whatsoever.
Osakabehime:
And I also get the distinct impression that my oni-in-chief Kiyo-yo is steadily bearing down on me.
Osakabehime:
...But so what? There's nothing more fun than running away from reality when it gets too real.
Osakabehime:
So I'm gonna keep on running right up until the moment I have to face the ongaku!
Mash:
We're almost there, Master.
Mash:
According to Iori's advice, we should have the best odds with that casino over there.
Mash:
HIMEJI Survival Casino.
Mash:
At a glance, it would seem to be clearly modeled after Himeji Castle in Japan.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Really? A place outta my home country?
Siegfried:
So it would seem. Although, speaking of Himeji...
Siegfried:
...isn't that the home of that girl who's always pestering me for an autograph?
Fujimaru 1:
Yup... That's Batty all right.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Huh. Ain't she the one who put one over on the legendary Miyamoto Musashi!?
Miyamoto Iori:
......
Fujimaru 2:
That's right. The one and only Csejte Pyramid Himeji Castle!
Katsushika Hokusai:
The famous Csejte Pyramid Himeji Castle, huh...
Katsushika Hokusai:
......
Katsushika Hokusai:
...No, wait, hang on. I'm pretty sure I ain't ever heard of that before?
Mash:
Well, um...
Mash:
Let's just say it's the kind of building that leaves a, um, lasting impression...
Miyamoto Iori:
Well, whatever's in store for us there, we've still got to make our way inside! You've got the chips we need to ante up, right?
Miyamoto Iori:
Then let's get this Swimsuit Swordmaster challenge underway!
Mash:
So this is the Himeji Casino...
Mash:
It looks like a pretty standard casino, aside from the Japanese decor.
Mash:
I see slot machines, roulette wheels, poker tables... Oh, and a hanafuda parlor, too. That's different.
Fou:
Fooou! Fooou!
Mash:
I didn't know you like hanafuda so much, Fou.
Wait, over there. Is that...Jaguar Warrior?
Jaguar Warrior:
Hm.
Jaguar Warrior:
There's something about these hanafuda cards that makes me feel real meowstalgic.
Sitonai:
Is that so? For some reason, when I look at them...
Sitonai:
...any nostalgia I might have is vastly outweighed by the sheer horror of other strange and terrible memories.
Jaguar Warrior & Sitonai:
Heh heh heh...
Jaguar Warrior:
Looks like we're not getting out of this without at least one duel, are we?
Sitonai:
While I do get the feeling that it's a really, really bad idea to get mixed up with you...
Sitonai:
...I can also hear the goddesses inside me saying I can't go around cowering like a scared little puppy forever!
Jaguar Warrior:
Nyahahaha, that's the spirit! Then let's do this, Divine Spirit amalgamation from the freezing north!
Sitonai:
Bring it on!
Mash:
Huh?
Mash:
That's odd. I thought only those wearing swimsuits could Rayshift into this Las Vegas...
Fujimaru 1:
Now that you mention it...
Siegfried:
...Let's worry about that later.
Siegfried:
For now, we should look for the Swimsuit Swordmaster who manages this casino.
Mk. II:
The line for contenders who wish to challenge this casino's Swimsuit Swordmaster starts over here. Don't worry, there are plenty of tickets for everyone.
Mash:
That line seems to stretch on forever...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ugh, how long're we gonna hafta wait?
Mash:
Where is Osakabehime, anyway? Er, that's not to say we should just assume she's the manager here, of course, but–
Kiyohime:
Hello
Kiyohime:
Master
Kiyohime:
♡♡
Fujimaru 1:
...!
Kiyohime:
I'm so sorry for leaving you alone for so long, Master. Don't worry, your devoted captive, Kiyo-yo, is here now♪
Fujimaru 2:
Morning. How's the draft going?
Kiyohime:
Gurk!
Kiyohime:
H-hehe. You can be so mean sometimes, Master... That's exactly what I was trying not to think about...
Mash:
(In other words, they haven't made any progress at all...)
Kiyohime:
Anyway, are you all here to challenge this casino's Swimsuit Swordmaster?
Katsushika Hokusai:
You bet! This is where the legend of Katsushika Oui–I mean, Hokusai, really begins!
Kiyohime:
Well, it's wonderful to see you in such high spirits...
Mash:
What are you doing here, Kiyohime?
Kiyohime:
I came here to hold Batty's nose to the grindstone, but she's refusing to work on anything except her Swimsuit Swordmaster job.
Kiyohime:
The way things are going now, I'm going to have to handle every part of our book myself...
Kiyohime:
Guess I'll have to change our club name from “Princess Princess” to just “Princess,” too...
Mash:
I see. So Osakabehime's been struggling to make headway on her draft, even here.
Mash:
Although, after everything that happened last summer, I can understand how she feels all too well...
Kiyohime:
Basically, it looks like Batty won't be doing any draft work until she loses a Swordmaster battle.
Kiyohime:
But I haven't been able to find anyone else willing to join me, so I've been at a loss as to what to do next.
Miyamoto Iori:
Well hey, this works out perfectly. The whole reason we're here is to challenge Swimsuit Swordmaster Osakabehime.
Miyamoto Iori:
Don't worry! I'll take her down a peg or two and have her churning out pages for your draft in no time!
Siegfried:
(That dryness would seem to be a clear indicator that she is actually Miyamoto Musashi...)
Siegfried:
(But if she insists on calling herself Iori now, I suppose I should follow suit.)
Kiyohime:
Thank you, everyone...
Kiyohime:
But I have to ask: do you have a letter of challenge?
Fujimaru 1:
A letter of challenge?
Fujimaru 2:
Is that something we need besides chips?
Kiyohime:
That's right. Before you can challenge a Swimsuit Swordmaster, you need to prove you're worthy of doing so.
Kiyohime:
And you do that by acquiring a letter of challenge just for that Swordmaster.
Mash:
Now that you mention it, I recall the Summer Lion King mentioning a letter of challenge too...
Kiyohime:
Well, since it seems you don't have one right now, why don't you just spectate for today?
Kiyohime:
Each Swimsuit Swordmaster has a unique fighting style, so I think it would be worth your time to observe for a bit.
Siegfried:
Hmm, that's a good point.
Siegfried:
As Sun Tzu said, “Know thyself, know thy enemy.”
Siegfried:
I believe we can and should take this opportunity to proceed intelligently. ...Yes. Intelligently.
Fujimaru 1:
(He totally adjusted his glasses to emphasize his point there!)
Goredolf:
You know, I have to ask: Do Servants even need glasses?
Goredolf:
...Er, putting aside the ones who already wore them when they were still alive.
G：Da Vinci:
Hmm. I guess it's something about the look? Who knows, maybe it even has a positive effect on their INT stat.
Goredolf:
Hmm, I see...
Goredolf:
...Wait. When did we start measuring intelligence as a stat!?
Da Vinci:
Hmm. As a fellow glasses-wearing Servant myself, I can't help but feel a little sense of rivalry.
Da Vinci:
Which is why it's time for me to break out my own pair.
Miyamoto Iori:
Anyway, I agree this is a good idea. Before we fight Osakabehime ourselves...
Miyamoto Iori:
...let's get a good look at what sort of Swimsuit Swordmaster she is and how she fights.
Assault Soldier:
Two squadrons left.
Go, go, go!
Paramedic:
I've got your heals covered!
Sniper:
I've got the headshots handled!
Gang Member:
What's the big deal? Let's just rush her! Come on, follow my lead!
All Three:
Stop, you idiot!
Osakabehime:
First come, first owned.
Gang Member:
Gaaah!
Assault Soldier:
What'd we tell you!?
Paramedic:
Hang on. What's a gang member doing in a military setting, anyway!?
Sniper:
Now's my chance to headshot–
Sniper:
Aargh!
Anne:
Sorry, looks like we beat you to the kill♪
Assault Soldier:
Crap, there's two more! This is impossible!
Paramedic:
Forget this! I'm out!
Blackbeard:
Come on, be cool, bro. Here, hang with me for a bit. Smile!
P.A. System:
And the winner is...Swimsuit Swordmaster Osakabehime!
Osakabehime:
We won! Yatta!
Anne:
Woohoo!
Blackbeard:
Aww yeah!
Osakabehime:
Up high! Down low! Gimme some dap!
Mk. II:
...I guess you didn't need me after all. Well, that's okay. It lets me conserve more energy.
Osakabehime:
Sorry, didn't mean to fragsteal. Don't worry, you're our trump card, though!
Mk. II:
I hardly think telling me something I already know qualifies as a compliment. If there's nothing for me to do here, I'm just going to return to the base.
Mk. II:
Besides, my irritant index for jungle combat is very high. It takes a lot of time to apply my anti-rust coat and run all my internal diagnostics.
Osakabehime:
Hehe, hehehe, hehehehehe.
Osakabehime:
In any case, all's quiet on the Vegas front once again!
Osakabehime:
As Swimsuit Swordmaster Osakabehime, I'll take on any and all challengers!
Osakabehime:
Just don't remind me about my looming book deadline!
Osakabehime:
As long as I remain the champion...
summer vacation will never end!
Kiyohime:
...There you have it. Batty's doing her batty best to forget about the harsh reality that our draft still isn't done, and I'm at my wits' end trying to figure out how to get her back on track.
Fujimaru 1:
You have my deepest sympathies...
Kiyohime:
I was really looking forward to making this one, too. I'm not letting my high school AU pass me by this year!
Mash:
High school...?
Kiyohime:
Hehehe, still, fantasizing about our unfinished draft isn't going to help it become reality–I mean, a real book any faster...
Kiyohime:
So I'm counting on you to bring down Batty and the rest of Team Himeji, Master!
Fujimaru 1:
Looks like it all comes back to that!
Katsushika Hokusai:
You said it! We're talkin' about Osakabehime, the castle monster of Himeji Castle, right?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I couldn't ask for a worthier opponent!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hehe, y'don't got nothing to worry about. My swords got no trouble cuttin' down other kinds of monsters, after all.
Katsushika Hokusai:
'Sides, these swords're wielded by the strongest swordfighter 'n fairy. Working miracles is what we do!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Once I unleash my techniques' full sharpness, they'll cut like the legendary Futsu-no-Mitama, purifyin' all evil!
Siegfried:
Still, if you take a step back and think about our current situation...
Siegfried:
...our next step should be to find an inn for the night.
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Ouch! He's right! Talk about keepin' a cool head!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Guess it's still soon for me ta go 'round braggin'! Makes sense... I mean, I ain't even met this Batty chick yet...)
Fujimaru 1:
Oh man, you're right, Siegfried! That completely slipped my mind!
Siegfried:
Heh... I knew it. These glasses really are providing a nice boost to my intelligence.
Goredolf:
Wait, really? You're only JUST NOW thinking about accommodations!?
Goredolf:
Usually, those are the first thing you reserve whenever you're planning a trip.
Da Vinci:
Oh, crap! I forgot all about making a hotel reservation.
Siegfried:
Now what do we do...
Miyamoto Iori:
Looks like we might be stuck camping out.
Miyamoto Iori:
I'm sure us Servants could manage with that, but it's a lot to ask of Mash and Fujimaru...
Miyamoto Iori:
...Hm?
Katsushika Hokusai:
?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Are those...flower petals?
Fou:
Fou! Kill foooooou! (Special Translation: I smell scum! Bite it to death!)
Mister Mystery:
Hahahaha! Aloha, aloooha!
Mister Mystery:
Oh, right, we're not in Luluhawa this year. Too bad. I was looking forward to visiting the tropics.
Mister Mystery:
Oh well, no sense dwelling on the past. Especially if it causes you to miss the opportunities happening right now.
Mister Mystery:
If this year's summer event is taking place in Las Vegas, I'll just have to dress for the occasion.
Mister Mystery:
Hello there, children. It's the perfect evening for a fateful encounter, don't you think?
Fujimaru 1:
(I've already got a pretty good idea who this is...)
Fujimaru 2:
Do I know you?
Mister Mystery:
You know, I'm not entirely sure myself. All I know is that normally, I wouldn't be able to interfere like this.
Mister Mystery:
I could be friend or foe. I could be a Heroic Spirit, or I could be a living spirit. It's all up in the air at this point. So please, call me Mister Mystery.
Siegfried:
With a name like that, wouldn't most people consider you a foe?
Mister Mystery:
Hehehe... Not necessarily.
Mister Mystery:
But even if I were, I'm also coolheaded, capable, and perfectly pleasant, so there shouldn't be any problem.
Fujimaru 1:
So what, you're the embodiment of shadiness or something?
Mash:
Don't be rude, Senpai.
Mister Mystery:
At any rate, since you'll all have to camp out in the desert unless you can find a better place to stay, I think you'll want to hear what I have to tell you.
Mister Mystery:
There's a place not too far from here called the Gildalay Hotel.
Mister Mystery:
It should still have a condo available that would be perfect for a group of visitors like you.
Mister Mystery:
As for why it's available, according to the hotel's owner:
Mister Mystery:
“I made this condo just in case someone needed it, but only those who have proven themselves to me stay in it.”
Mister Mystery:
Ahh, I do so enjoy being able to see the future thanks to my Clairvoyance.
Mash:
You, um, don't say...
Mister Mystery:
At any rate, why not take the hotel owner's challenge and see if you have what it takes?
Mister Mystery:
All you have to lose is a little QP.
Siegfried:
Thank you, Mister Mystery. But, why are you telling us this?
Mister Mystery:
Because helping you helps me.
Mister Mystery:
The more all of you enjoy your time here in Vegas, the more I'll get to enjoy myself.
Mister Mystery:
Hehehe... It has nothing to do with my hoping you'll defeat that terrifying Summer Lion King so I can really let my hair down and cut loose...
Mister Mystery:
No, it doesn't have anything to do with that at all... Hehehe... Hehehehehehe...
Mister Mystery:
Anyway, whether or not you win is all up to you. The best I can do is point you in the right direction.
Fou:
Fouuuu... (Special Translation: Dammit, I should've offed him before he got away...)
Miyamoto Iori:
...
Miyamoto Iori:
Well, we might not know if he's friend or foe, but at least he gave us a good tip.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Wow...
Katsushika Hokusai:
That guy was beautiful... Wait, was he a guy? We sure he wasn't a lady?
Goredolf:
Harrumph. You can never reserve a hotel too early. Everyone knows that.
Goredolf:
Although... Did I hear him say “Luluhawa”? Now where have I heard that before...?
Da Vinci:
Anyway, a condo ought to have plenty of room for putting all of you guys up.
Da Vinci:
Why don't you head there for the time being?
Mash:
W-wow! This hotel is easily as luxurious as the one in Luluhawa!
Fujimaru 1:
So fancy!
Miyamoto Iori:
Sweet, it even has a pool! I like this place already!
Siegfried:
All right, let's find this owner person so we can...
Hm?
???:
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
???:
I see that foolish look on your face hasn't changed a bit, mongrel!
Fujimaru 1:
I'd know that voice anywhere!
Mash:
Hello, King Gilgamesh. It feels like we haven't seen you in a long time.
Gilgamesh:
Indeed. This marks our first meeting since New York.
Mash:
Say, where are the two Servants you had working for you in Luluhawa?
Gilgamesh:
D'Eon was headhunted by another casino, and Moolah became so obsessed with gambling that I had to let her go.
Fujimaru 2:
What happened to d'Eon and Moolah?
Gilgamesh:
So that's the first thing you say to me, is it? You've got courage, mongrel, I'll give you that!
Gilgamesh:
At any rate, d'Eon is away working at another casino...
Gilgamesh:
...and after Moolah developed something of a gambling addiction, I had to fire her.
Mash:
Then, does that mean you're here by yourself this time?
Gilgamesh:
Don't be ridiculous.
Gilgamesh:
My Gildalay here is the richest, most opulent hotel in all of Dazzling Las Vegas.
Gilgamesh:
I can find replacements sooner than you can snap your fingers...assuming you don't care about quality help.
Astolfo:
I saw your wanted ad! So what kinda job is this, anyhoo?
Elisabeth:
I saw your wanted ad. Well, your new singer is here!
Red Hare:
I'll work for carrots! I mean, peanuts!
Which in this case means carrots.
Prince of Lan Ling:
And so, after much...let's say “trial and error,” Lord Gilgamesh settled on me for his secretary this year.
Fujimaru 1:
Solid choice of personnel...
Prince of Lan Ling:
Thank you, Master.
Fujimaru 2:
He definitely looks like he'd make a good secretary.
Gilgamesh:
Indeed. That was what pushed me over the edge in making my choice.
Mash:
Come to think of it, you aren't wearing a swimsuit either, Prince of Lan Ling.
Mash:
That's strange. I thought you had to wear one to Rayshift to this Singularity.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Huh? As far as I'm aware, this Singularity has no such swimsuit restriction...
Fujimaru 1:
Hang on... Now that I think of it, Yagyu didn't say anything about Rayshifts!
Fujimaru 2:
Hey, yeah! Yagyu never said we couldn't Rayshift here without them!
Mash:
You're right!
Mash:
All Yagyu said was “only those clad in swimsuits are fit to enter this Singularity”!
Miyamoto Iori:
Gotcha... I gotta hand it to the old man. That's a clever way to avoid getting mixed up in this nonsense...
Gilgamesh:
Now then.
Gilgamesh:
I gather you came to Vegas without so much as a single hotel reservation?
Gilgamesh:
What were you thinking!?
No, let me guess!
Gilgamesh:
“Oh em gee, what'm I gonna do if I hit it big at the casino? Maybe I should open a bank account now just to be safe?”
Gilgamesh:
Preposterous! For every hundred people who have come here thinking along those lines, a thousand more have left with their dreams of striking it rich utterly shattered!
Gilgamesh:
Still... Summer vacation comes but once a year, and I'm sure you have no wish to spend your time in Vegas camping out.
Gilgamesh:
Thus, I will grant you permission...to fight for the privilege of receiving an accommodation voucher at my hotel!
Mash:
So we can stay here as long as we win this battle? Understood! It won't be easy, Master, but we'll have to win!
Gilgamesh:
Hahahaha, how unusual to see you so enthusiastic about fighting, Shielder! Very well! Come, Prince of Lan Ling!
Prince of Lan Ling:
Yes, sir! All right, let's have a good, clean–
Prince of Lan Ling:
I'm sorry, I need to take this. Feel free to go ahead and start without me.
Gilgamesh:
Heh... My secretary this year may be excellent at his job, but he still has a lot to learn about priorities!
--BATTLE--
Gilgamesh:
...I can't say I'm entirely satisfied with how that turned out. Why in the world did you stun yourself at the start?
Prince of Lan Ling:
My apologies, sir. I've always put my work first and foremost.
Gilgamesh:
...Tch, you remind me of a certain high priestess. All right, I'll overlook it just this once.
Gilgamesh:
Your diligence and lack of fear towards me may be a bore, but at least this way, I know I can trust you.
Gilgamesh:
If Moolah were still here, she'd be working every angle she could to try and catch me off guard.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Here is your voucher. I'll go ahead and let the concierge know you'll all be staying with us.
Prince of Lan Ling:
You can pick up your room key from her.
Gilgamesh:
Be warned, mongrel, the Holy Grail has bestowed power upon each of the Swimsuit Swordmasters running a casino.
Gilgamesh:
Do not let your guard down around them.
Gilgamesh:
Now then, I have other places to be, so I'll be on my way now.
Gilgamesh:
If you lot have some QP to spare, I suggest you warm up at a casino somewhere while you have the chance.
Gilgamesh:
Hahahaha!
Prince of Lan Ling:
Hello? Speaking. Yes, about that...
Kiyohime:
Okay, now that that's settled...
Kiyohime:
Master and I will share the, ahem, master suite, and everyone else will take their own rooms, all right?
Siegfried:
(She said that like it was a normal thing!)
Fujimaru 1:
We're all getting single rooms, and that's that.
Kiyohime:
You can be so mean, Master... But of course, that's what I love about you!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Say, this, uh, con-see-urge gal's gotta be a Servant too, right?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I wonder who she is.
H：???:
Well, hello there!
H：???:
Will you all be staying with us then? Wonderful! Thank you for choosing the Gildalay Hotel!
H：???:
I'm Charlotte Corday, and I'll be your concierge during your stay.
Charlotte Corday:
...Phew, I did it!
Charlotte Corday:
For some reason, I just couldn't say the word “concierge”properly, no matter how many times I tried!
Charlotte Corday:
It kept coming out all sorts of weird ways, like “con-surge,” “con-siege,” “con-sea-urchin”...
Charlotte Corday:
You name it, I flubbed it!
Charlotte Corday:
Hehe, so the fact that I said it perfectly just now bodes well for your stay!
Charlotte Corday:
Okay everyone, here's your condominium. Don't worry, it has enough bedrooms for all of you.
Charlotte Corday:
While the kitchen does come stocked with the bare minimum of condiments...
Charlotte Corday:
...I'm afraid you'll need to purchase your own ingredients if you want to do any real cooking.
Charlotte Corday:
Fortunately, there's a supermarket nearby that carries veggies, meat, fish... Everything you could want!
Charlotte Corday:
If there's anything else, please don't hesitate to let me know! Okay, enjoy your stay at the Gildalay Hotel!
Fujimaru 1:
I couldn't get a single word in edgewise...
Siegfried:
I don't think I've ever seen someone say so much so quickly. It's like...if a machine gun could talk.
Siegfried:
At any rate, why don't we all leave our luggage in our rooms and meet back up here?
All:
Sounds good!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Phew! I was a little worried that the whole room might be all shiny and golden 'n stuff...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...but I gotta say, this is snazzy without bein' TOO snazzy.
Miyamoto Iori:
All right, as for our next move–
Siegfried:
Wait. The spy I sent out should be back any moment now.
Miyamoto Iori:
Spy?
Fuuma Kotarou:
I'm finished investigating the enemy, Master.
Fujimaru 1:
Kotarou!
Fujimaru 2:
Evil Wind!
Fuuma Kotarou:
I'm here, Master.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I have returned with information on Himeji Casino, as Lord Siegfried requested.
Fujimaru 1:
Sorry to make you work on your vacation...
Fuuma Kotarou:
Not at all, Master.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I'm having the time of my life, getting to wear a cool new outfit like this.
Fuuma Kotarou:
...Ahem. But never mind that.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Let me start by explaining the rules for Himeji Casino's battle royale.
Fuuma Kotarou:
All players compete in teams of four, with twenty teams in total.
Fuuma Kotarou:
As per usual battle royale rules, all teams fight each other simultaneously, and the last team standing is the winner.
Fuuma Kotarou:
In general, once a Servant or enemy has been eliminated, they cannot return to the battlefield until the next game.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Here, take a look at this.
Fuuma Kotarou:
These are the areas owned by the casino that serve as the battle royale's battlefields.
Fuuma Kotarou:
These areas–
Fujimaru 1:
Get smaller and smaller as the game goes on?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Exactly.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Which means that eventually, the surviving teams will have no choice but to fight.
Fujimaru 2:
Yeah?
Fuuma Kotarou:
They get smaller and smaller over the course of the game. It seems to be a trend among similar games as of late.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Now, here's the Team Himeji lineup.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Lady Osakabehime, the former princess of shut-ins who tweaked her own Spirit Origin into an Archer.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Anne Bonny, the sniper who can pinpoint her target no matter what the environment.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Blackbeard, an oversized scary Servant who should take a shower already because seriously, he stinks.
Fuuma Kotarou:
And Mecha Eli-chan Mk. II, the mechanical goddess who keeps ignoring complaints about her unfair flight advantage.
Siegfried:
Hmm, so they're all gunslingers. That could be quite a challenge.
Siegfried:
We'll definitely need Katsushika Hokusai and Miyamoto Iori on our team.
Siegfried:
And Mash should compete as well, as the brains of the operation.
Mash:
A-all right! I'll do my best!
Fuuma Kotarou:
I'm afraid I have something else I need to take care of, so I can't join myself...
Fuuma Kotarou:
I still have a lot of ground to cover for Master's sake before I can be of more help.
Siegfried:
That leaves me...yet another close-range type of fighter.
Siegfried:
We should probably include someone who specializes in long-range combat as well.
Siegfried:
I think it would be best if I sit this one out, and we get someone else to take my place.
Goredolf:
Mmm, agreed. Ensuring your team is well-balanced is one of the most fundamental fundamentals.
Goredolf:
Not that I have much experience with that, since I was usually a one-man operation...
Meunière:
I feel for you, boss man, I really do, but do you have to bring us all down out of nowhere like that?
Da Vinci:
I'd agree with that. Having a team that can handle any kind of range would be ideal in this case.
Miyamoto Iori:
Hmm. Makes sense to me!
Miyamoto Iori:
Okay then, let's see if we can't find a long-range fighter out of all the Servants that have come to this Las Vegas.
Miyamoto Iori:
Class-wise, we'll probably want an Archer...though I guess we could make do with a Caster if we had to?
Siegfried:
There are also some Berserkers who use guns, like Lancelot...
Siegfried:
But that could be a problem if we need to keep them in our employ for the long haul. Not to mention that following a plan of attack generally isn't a Berserker's strong suit.
Miyamoto Iori:
Then we'll definitely want to go with an Archer. All right, let's head out and see who we can find!
Moriarty:
Ahh, my apologies! I'd love to, of course, but this old back of mine just isn't what it used to be, you know?
Moriarty:
Besides...I can practically smell the QP moving throughout this event...
Fujimaru 1:
Are you taking bets on the side again?
Moriarty:
Who, me? Perish the thought.
Moriarty:
At any rate, let's see... So you're looking for an Archer with plenty of time on their hands, hmm...
Moriarty:
I wish I could help, but I'm afraid I can't think of anyone. My mind isn't what it used to be. They do say memory is the first thing to go.
Fujimaru 2:
Anyone else you can recommend then?
Moriarty:
Hmm. I wish I could, but my usual outfit's motif notwithstanding, we older gentlemen aren't typically known for being social butterflies...
Moriarty:
Or in my case, having any friends at all...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Well, so far, no good.
...Huh? Are those the same flower petals we saw earlier?
Mister Mystery:
Good morning, and good evening. We meet again.
Mister Mystery:
Oh? Where's Cath–I mean, Fou? Is he staying at the hotel where it's nice and air-conditioned?
Mister Mystery:
Hahaha, then I guess I don't have to worry about him pouncing on me if I send a few (dozen) more flower petals swirling around.
Mash:
Mister Mister-y!
I mean, Mystery!
Mash:
If you're here now, does that mean you know where we can find an Archer to help us?
Siegfried:
Or maybe you're an Archer yourself?
Mister Mystery:
No, sadly. I may be able to fire laser beams from my sword, but technically, I'm not an Archer.
Miyamoto Iori:
(Suddenly overcome by the urge to challenge him to a duel)
Mister Mystery:
But, I can certainly think of an Archer at Chaldea who would be happy to join you.
Mister Mystery:
She's a sweet little girl who thinks of you like her own grandchild...
Mister Mystery:
Ahh, but I'd better stop giving hints before I give too much away. Farewell for now.
Fujimaru 1:
Grandchild...
Mash:
That's it! I'm sure I know just who he means!
Helena:
Ooh, that sounds fun! I'm in!
Fujimaru 1:
That was fast!
Mash:
Thank you so much, Helena!
Helena:
Don't you worry! Granny's got it covered!
Helena:
As an Archer of Mahatma, I'll make sure to lead you straight to victory!
Helena:
Oh, but let me ask you just one thing. What's Master going to do while all this is going on?
Mash:
Oh, that's a good point. How should we handle [♂ him /♀ her] in this case?
Miyamoto Iori:
Hmm... I guess we'll just have to try classifying [♂ him /♀ her] as an a boost? Or an attachment?
Fujimaru 1:
A boost!? Attachment!?
Fujimaru 2:
No way!
Miyamoto Iori:
I know, it sounds bad. But I think this gives us the best chance of victory.
Miyamoto Iori:
As far as we're concerned, keeping you put in the rear guard is a safe strategy. And as far as the enemy is concerned...
Miyamoto Iori:
Well, you'll see what's in store for them once we get started! My point is, we need you if we're going to win.
Mash:
I, uh, I see. Well, if you're really sure, Iori, then...I'm okay with that.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Fine by me. Front line or rear guard, it don't make much difference. You're still my partner either way, right?
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Right?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Nyahaha.
Siegfried:
Good. Then if we're all in agreement, I think you should start practicing fighting as a team.
Siegfried:
Fortunately, it looks like Himeji Casino has some practice areas available to anyone who wants to use them.
Siegfried:
I think the best thing we can do now is practice there while we earn enough chips for a letter of challenge.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Sounds good to me. In the meantime, I'll try to find out everything I can about the other formidable teams.
Helena:
You know, I've got an idea.
Helena:
Why don't we kick things off with a practice battle to get a feel for each others' abilities?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ooh, I like the sound of that! But I'll warn ya right now, I'm aimin' ta become a legendary swordfighter!
Katsushika Hokusai:
So don't blame me if my techniques are too sharp to handle!
--BATTLE--
Helena:
Ahh, that was fun! I think I'm going to feel right at home on this team!
Helena:
When we're done, Osakabehime won't know what hit her!
Helena:
Now let's go get that letter of challenge so we can officially fight her!
Helena:
Gooo team!
Fujimaru 1:
Gooo team!
Fujimaru 2:
...
Helena:
...H-hey, come on! Where's your team spirit!?
Helena:
Gooo team!
Gooo team!
Miyamoto Iori:
Oh man, she's adorable! Just look at her hopping around!
Miyamoto Iori:
...I mean, I do know she's an old lady on the inside!
Miyamoto Iori:
But in my book, I say it's fine judging other books by their cover!
First Casino "Battle DE Royale"
Osakabehime:
...
...
Osakabehime:
...
...
Osakabehime:
(Oh man, that team's with Ma-chan!)
Osakabehime:
(They must've gotten a letter of challenge and are coming for my Swimsuit Swordmaster title!)
Osakabehime:
(But, unfortunately for you, Ma-chan, I'm now as strong as Li Shuwen was during his prime!)
Osakabehime:
(Hehehe... Well, technically, I might not really be a Swordmaster, but I've still got a legend or two that have to do with swords!)
Osakabehime:
(Besides, the important thing is how that really, reeeally strong king chose me to be a Swimsuit Swordmaster herself.)
Osakabehime:
(Compared to that, nothing else matters... I've just got to do whatever it takes to win!)
Osakabehime:
(So queue up, Ma-chan! I'm ready for you!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Oogh... I hate these airplane things. I mean, I know I won't die even if it goes down, but...)
Fujimaru 1:
(She looks kind of pale...) You okay?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Huh!? U-uh, y-yeah, I'm fine!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'm Katsushika Hokusai, dammit! I can handle a flyin' machine or two!
Fujimaru 2:
Everything all right?
Katsushika Hokusai:
H-huh!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I-I'm fine, Master!
Katsushika Hokusai:
......
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Hey, Master?)
Fujimaru 1:
What is it, Oei?
Katsushika Hokusai:
W-would you, um, mind if I use this?
Miyamoto Iori:
Aww, Oei's hanging onto Master's sleeve.
Miyamoto Iori:
She's so cute when she gets nervous like that!
Osakabehime:
(Ooh, that's nice. I'll have to use that in the book.)
Anne:
Are you okay, Batty? You're spacing out.
Osakabehime:
Huh? Uh, yeah, I'm topped off.
Mk. II:
Keep your head in the game, Osakabehime. Focus on the upcoming battle instead of whatever it is you're always fantasizing about.
Osakabehime:
(She's right. I need to concentrate on the battle right now, not my draft!)
Helena:
Okay, everyone, we're there! Get ready to jump out!
Blackbeard:
All right! Where we droppin', boys?
Blackbeard:
Oh, hey, Master! Are you competing in this battle too? Don't expect me to go easy on you!
Fujimaru 1:
I'm just an attachment this time.
Blackbeard:
Huh? An attachment? Cosmetic?
Anne:
An attachment, huh? Hmm, interesting...
Anne:
(Licking her lips)
Helena:
Okay, everyone, just follow my lead!
Helena:
With Mahatma guiding us, we don't have anything to be scared of!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Wh-who's scared!? I sure ain't!
Katsushika Hokusai:
R-right, Master!?
Fujimaru 1:
This is nothing I haven't done before.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Huh? Really?
Fujimaru 2:
I'm used to free-falling on Rayshifts.
Mash:
Senpai is right.
Mash:
We've often ended up high up in the air after Rayshifting.
Katsushika Hokusai:
O-oh, okay. In that case, would ya mind if I stick with–
Fujimaru 1:
Shall we?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Huh? H-hang on! I'm still not ready to jum–
Katsushika Hokusai:
Aaaaaaah!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'm falliiing!
Helena:
Everyone here?
Miyamoto Iori:
All good! Miyamoto Mu–Uh, Iori, reporting in!
Mash:
Mash Kyrielight and Master, reporting in safe and sound.
Fou:
Fou fooou!
Mash:
Fou!? When did you sneak into my backpack!?
Mash:
Come to think of it, you always liked sneaking into the Coffins too... What is it with you and small spaces?
Fujimaru 1:
This is Master, reporting in.
Fujimaru 2:
I'm here, and so is Oei!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Huh? Is that it? We're all done fallin'?
Katsushika Hokusai:
...A-ahem. Katsushika Oui, reporting in!
Katsushika Hokusai:
What? I ain't cryin'! You're cryin'!
Helena:
I knew it! Just as Mahatma planned!
Miyamoto Iori:
Heads up. Looks like we've already got a team headed our way.
Miyamoto Iori:
Let's take them down quick and find somewhere a little more secluded!
--BATTLE--
Fran:
Nooo, you got meee...
Medb:
How dare you!?
Fergus:
Well fought! A real man knows when he's beat, and is happy to admit defeat!
Diarmuid:
Agreed. I gave that battle everything I had, so I have no regrets whatsoever!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Phew. Well, I'm glad we managed ta beat 'em and all...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...but I can't shake the feelin' I wasn't all that helpful there.
Helena:
Don't worry, they were probably just a bad matchup for you. You'll do great next time!
Miyamoto Iori:
Besides, the important thing's that we won!
Miyamoto Iori:
Now come on! I'm sure we've still got several battles ahead of us before we fight Team Himeji!
Miyamoto Iori:
You can do this, right, Oei?
Katsushika Hokusai:
H-hell yeah I can! I can handle anyone, no problem!
Miyamoto Iori:
Great! Now, since the battlefield keeps shrinking, we've got no choice but to pass through an open desert area.
Mash:
We should probably try to find an area with as much cover as possible, since most of us are close-range fighters.
Miyamoto Iori:
Just what I was thinking.
Miyamoto Iori:
Okay then, let's skirt around the next zone and head for the bamboo forest then.
Katsushika Hokusai:
R-right! Okay then, ya big galoots, follow me!
Fujimaru 1:
Oei, stop! That's the way with no cover!
Miyamoto Iori:
Hmm, guess she's still getting her bearings. But hey, at least she's got plenty of spirit!
Miyamoto Iori:
Let's catch up to her before she gets to the desert!
Osakabehime:
All right, that's three teams down already! GGEZ!
Anne:
The only thing I don't like about being on the dominant team is all these other teams never leaving us alone.
Mk. II:
Get used to it. It's only natural that people try to get us down as we rise to the top.
Mk. II:
By the way, Osakabehime, you're doing great today, but it also seems like you're rushing.
Blackbeard:
She's right, or my name isn't Blackbeard, but my Blackbeard is my naaame!!!
Blackbeard:
The way you charged in guns blazing just now was very unlike your usual steadfast style.
Osakabehime:
Was it? Oh man, I guess I got more hyped up than I realized...
Blackbeard:
Well hey, goin' a little nuts now and then never hurt anyone! Besides, we still have not one, but two secret weapons up our sleeves, sushi bros.
Osakabehime:
Hehe, that's true.
Osakabehime:
Unless they figure out this loophole in the rules, we have dinner in the bag!
Osakabehime:
That aside, I wonder what it is that makes you so easy to talk to even though we're, like, from different servers...
Osakabehime:
You're not secretly from the Far East like I am, are you?
Blackbeard:
Hahaha, of course not. Heheh, you're killing me!
Anne:
Oh hey, it looks like there's only a few more teams left. I'll go check things out with you-know-who.
Osakabehime:
Huh? So where are you going?
Anne:
Umm... Uh, say, Mk. II, I don't suppose you happen to know where our Master might be right now, would you?
Mk. II:
...Let me think.
Mk. II:
The last I saw of [♂ him /♀ her], [♂ he /♀ she] and [♂ his /♀ her] team were falling towards the jungle.
Mk. II:
And since most of [♂ his /♀ her] teammates are close-range fighters...
Mk. II:
...I think they'll probably head for the bamboo forest instead of the desert.
Anne:
The bamboo forest, huh... Okay then, I'm just gonna go check up on [♂ him /♀ her].
Osakabehime:
Huh? Why would you need to do that?
Osakabehime:
We've got circle, so we're sure to win if we just camp this fortress and snipe anyone who comes close from above, like usual.
Anne:
Oh, just a little...personal matter I want to follow up on. Don't worry, I'll call for backup if I need it.
Anne:
Okay, be back sooon♪
Osakabehime:
She's already gone!? So hayafast! What in the sekai was that all about!?
Blackbeard:
...Master... Attachment... Bamboo forest...
Blackbeard:
No one around to get in her way... And she'd blast them all to smithereens even if there were...
Blackbeard:
Don't tell me she... No, no, what am I thinking? If nothing else, Missy Anne is still a Servant.
Blackbeard:
Even she wouldn't stoop to something so underhanded and bestial as...
Blackbeard:
No, she totally would!
Blackbeard:
She and her partner in piracy were famous for plundering everything in their path!
Osakabehime:
Wait. Huh? Nani? What are you talking about?
Blackbeard:
Lady Mk. II, we need your help!
Blackbeard:
Osakabehime and I gotta stay on alert here, so I want you to get Missy Anne back here fast! Forcefully if you hafta!
Mk. II:
...All right. Whatever's going on here, I can see that it's urgent.
Mk. II:
Activating vernier thrusters... Preparing for flight... Take off!
Osakabehime:
C-come on, Blackbeard, tell me what's going on! A-are we gonna be bait?
Osakabehime:
I mean, don't you think we're in trouble since it's just the two of us against all the remaining teams now!?
Blackbeard:
If anyone's in trouble here, it's them! Argh, why did Missy Anne have to be in her Archer form!?
Blackbeard:
I was so caught up in her bikini-clad Bonnys I didn't realize the danger until it was too late!
Blackbeard:
Batty, listen to me very closely. About those two...
Blackbeard:
Missy Anne and her partner in piracy just went off to plunder Master in broad daylight!
Blackbeard:
And what's worse, my pirate sense is telling me they're probably being lured into a trap!
Osakabehime:
Majiwhaaa!?
Fou:
Fou...
Fujimaru 1:
I'm just an attachment... I'm just a boost...
Fujimaru 2:
I just hope this plan works...
Fuuma Kotarou:
To cut to the chase...
Fuuma Kotarou:
...Team Himeji is cheating their way to victory.
Fujimaru 1:
Yeeeah, I had a feeling that might be the case...
Mash:
You knew, Senpai?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Given their lineup, it would have been stranger if they weren't.
Fujimaru 2:
Cheating!?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Yes. Cheating.
Katsushika Hokusai:
The hell!? Who do those big galoots think they are!?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Well, strictly speaking, I suppose it may technically not be cheating.
Fuuma Kotarou:
But they're certainly bending the rules as far as they can go.
Mash:
What do you mean?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Here, it'll be faster if I show you. Would you mind doing the commentary for this video, Lord Siegfried?
Siegfried:
Very well. It seems now is the time to put my overwhelming intelligence to good use.
Fujimaru 1:
Overwhelming intelligence!
Siegfried:
Just my attempt at imitating Sir Sigurd.
Siegfried:
Heh... It seems my mimicry still has a way to go if I failed to recognizably evoke him.
Miyamoto Iori:
Ohhh, that guy with the glasses! He is just... Mmm mm!
Miyamoto Iori:
He's strong, and hot, and handsome, and hot, and tough, and HOT...! I'd love to face him one-on-one sometime!
Fujimaru 2:
Did your glasses just sparkle!?
Siegfried:
Indeed. All the other glasses-wearing Servants I've spoken to say their glasses sparkle at least once or twice.
Mash:
Really!? Can mine sparkle, too!?
Fionn mac Cumhaill:
Of course they can...
Just like I do...
Fionn mac Cumhaill:
Yes, they too can sparkle just as brightly as I...!
Katsushika Hokusai:
The hell was that?
Fujimaru 1:
Let's just say it was a passing hallucination.
Fujimaru 2:
You don't know who Fionn mac Cumhaill is?
Fujimaru 1:
Never happening.
Miyamoto Iori:
Aww man.
Siegfried:
Now then, let's watch the video.
Gang Member:
(Gasp, gasp, gasp) W-we've finally got you.
Gang Member:
You really gave us the runaround, but, hehehe, it'll aaall be worth it.
Anne:
(Phoning it in) Ah. No. Help. Whatever will you do to me.
Gang Member:
What do you mean, what're we–
Heehee, as if you didn't know!
Samurai:
Hehe, indeed.
Samurai:
We're going to have you read this ultra-rare copy of “A Collection of Eiten-Style Teachings” to us!
Anne:
You...what? Read? ...Aloud?
Samurai:
Of course, and you're going to do it in the voice of a childhood friend who acts cold but is secretly madly in love with me!
Anne:
(Where does “madly in love” even come from? You never hear of anyone doing anything else madly.)
Anonymous Warrior:
Oh, actually, I'd prefer it if you read it in the voice of a girl next door.
Anonymous Warrior:
To elaborate, she just started working her first job out of college, and every day's a chore to get through...
Anonymous Warrior:
So now she lives next door to me, a high schooler living in an apartment all on my own because reasons, and she likes to crack open a six-pack and complain about her job and tell me I don't know how hard adulting is 'cause I'm still just a kid and when I tell her "Don't treat me like a kid!" she gets this gorgeous smile on her face that no high schooler could possibly imitate and teases me by whispering “Want me to treat you like a grown-up then?” right in my ear... So, yeah, read it in a whispery voice like that, please!
Gang Member:
Man, you never could shut up whenever you get started on one of your dream scenarios.
Samurai:
Sorry about that. Don't pay any attention to him.
Mary:
I wish you'd said so sooner! I'll never get back the seconds of my life I wasted listening to him!
All Three:
Huh!?
Anne:
Uh, let's see... “I know. Let's go to the temple.”
Mary:
Don't bother. It's not even worth reading anymore.
Gang Member:
H-hang on! I thought each team could only have up to four members!
Mary:
Oh, I'm Anne Bonny's attachment. The two of us together make up a single Servant.
Mary:
Yaaay.
Gang Member & Samurai:
N-no fair...
Anonymous Warrior:
Excuse me, but...would you mind pretending you're a girl I've known all my life but who I've always thought of as a younger sister plea–
Mary:
You're still fantasizing!?
Mary:
And what do you mean, younger sister? Why can't I just be the girl next door, too!?
Anonymous Warrior:
(Grin)
Mary:
Die in a fire!
Siegfried:
...And that is the first way they cheat.
Mash:
...
...
Fuuma Kotarou:
...
...
Miyamoto Iori:
...
...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...
...
Goredolf:
This is an unbelievable nightmare.
Fujimaru 1:
I can't believe they're cheating like this.
Mash:
Me neither.
Mash:
I know that Anne and Mary are technically one Servant...
Mash:
...and they do have a disadvantage in that, if either one of them were to vanish, the other would follow suit...
Mash:
But to take advantage of that to treat Mary as an attachment just seems wrong even aside from the cheating.
Fujimaru 2:
Who was that anonymous warrior, anyway?
Mash:
Um, Senpai, I don't think that's the most important thing we should be concerned with right now...
Siegfried:
I wondered about that too, but I believe that mystery can wait until another time.
Siegfried:
Though believe me, I really am curious about who he could be!
Da Vinci:
This is just plain horrible!
Fujimaru 1:
I can't believe they're cheating like this.
Mash:
Me neither.
Mash:
I know that Anne and Mary are technically one Servant...
Mash:
...and they do have a disadvantage in that, if either one of them were to vanish, the other would follow suit...
Mash:
But to take advantage of that to treat Mary as an attachment just seems wrong even aside from the cheating.
Fujimaru 2:
Who was that anonymous warrior, anyway?
Mash:
Um, Senpai, I don't think that's the most important thing we should be concerned with right now...
Siegfried:
I wondered about that too, but I believe that mystery can wait until another time.
Siegfried:
Though believe me, I really am curious about who he could be!
Fuuma Kotarou:
At any rate, you can see now that the first thing you need to watch out for when facing Team Himeji is Mary Read.
Fuuma Kotarou:
The good news is, since the two of them together are acting as a single unit...
Fuuma Kotarou:
...defeating either one of them should knock the other out of the running shortly thereafter.
Siegfried:
Right. So while Mary is Anne Bonny's trump card...
Siegfried:
...if we can manage to defeat them somehow, that will clear our way to defeating Osakabehime.
Siegfried:
Ideally, I would like to lure Anne and Mary out by themselves, where we can pick them off safely...
Katsushika Hokusai:
I gotcha. So it's like fishin' then.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Basically, yes. If only we had some bait they would be sure to take, we'd be in business.
Mash:
What about treasure?
Mash:
Anne and Mary both made a name for themselves as famous pirates.
Miyamoto Iori:
Hmm... I don't know if that would work here.
Miyamoto Iori:
I mean, would you trust a pile of gems just sitting around a battlefield?
Mash:
Good point...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Man, this is such a pain in the behind.
Siegfried:
Hmm. Is there anything else those two desire besides treasure, alcohol, and causing commotion?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Good question...
Miyamoto Iori:
Hmm...
Fujimaru 1:
Wait. Don't tell me...
All Three:
...
...
All Three:
...That's it!
Mash:
That...!
Mash:
...is most certainly NOT it!
Katsushika Hokusai:
?
Katsushika Hokusai:
So, didja guys figure out what to use for bait then?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Well? Didja?
Miyamoto Iori:
...Okay, just like we planned.
Mash:
Are you sure you'll be all right, Master?
Fujimaru 1:
I'll be fine...I think.
Miyamoto Iori:
Great! We're all counting on you, Master!
Fujimaru 2:
If I don't make it, make sure you give me a proper burial, okay?
Miyamoto Iori:
Don't worry! I'm sure there'll be enough left of you for an open casket!
Mary:
...Huh?
Master! What are you doing here?
Fujimaru 1:
I got lost...
Mary:
(Sigh) You really are hopeless, aren't you?
Mary:
Hm? Hang on. If you're here now, does that mean you're fighting in this battle royale?
Mary:
...An attachment?
Mary:
I see. Same as me then...
Mary:
I guess that makes sense.
Mary:
If I can be here, there's no reason you can't.
Mary:
Still... An attachment, here, all by [♂ himself /♀ herself]...
Mary:
Nnn...
Mary:
Nnnnnn...
Anne:
Theeere you are!
Mary:
Gah! Anne!
Anne:
Don't you think you can steal a march on my booty.
Mary:
I wasn't stealing a march on anything. Anyway, weren't you supposed to be holding down the fort with the others?
Anne:
Oh, well, you know.
Anne:
I heard I could find Master out here, so I decided to come and...pay [♂ him /♀ her] a visit.
Mary:
(Sigh) I should have known. Well, guess it's just the three of us then!
Anne:
Guess so♪
Anne:
Now then...♡
Anne:
Master, you're an attachment now, right?
Fujimaru 1:
Basically.
Anne:
Then it doesn't make much sense for you to complain if you're treated like one, does it?
Anne:
Oh, but we'd never treat you roughly, of course.
All we want to do is...
Mary:
Cuddle you.
Anne:
Rub our cheeks against yours.
Mary:
And do aaall sorts of other things...
Anne:
...we usually never get the chance to do♡
Mary:
Okay, Master, close your eyes♡
Fujimaru 1:
Um... Ladies? First, there's something I have to tell you.
Both:
?
Fujimaru 1:
I'm sorry.
Both:
!!!
Miyamoto Iori:
Damn, looks like we were just a moment too late for a nice ambush!
Helena:
I know this isn't the most honorable plan, but hey, it's not like you guys are ones to talk!
Anne:
Eee! You tricked meee!
Mary:
I knew there was something fishy about this!
Anne:
Oh please! You totally forgot about the big picture as soon as you saw [♂ him /♀ her], didn't you!?
Mary:
If my thing was helping others and not myself, I wouldn't have become a pirate in the first place! Ugh, never mind! Come on, we'll just have to face them two-on-two!
Miyamoto Iori:
Hehehe, unfortunately for you, we've actually got four on our side.
Mary:
Wha!? No fair!
Miyamoto Iori:
Like they say, all's fair in love and war, and this battle royale definitely counts as the latter!
Helena:
That's weird. How come I'm being made the bad guy here?
Helena:
Hm? Say, where are Mash and Oei?
Mash:
S-sorry! We're here!
Mash:
I was so caught up in watching that I forgot to make my entrance!
Mash:
But I'm here now, and ready to fight alongside Master!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I-I, um...
Katsushika Hokusai:
I k-kinda feel like...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...you oughta save that sorta thing for closed doors...
Anne:
Aww, you're adorable.
Mary:
You're free to think so, but don't be surprised if you can't hang onto your Master for very long like that.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I d-don't, um...
Miyamoto Iori:
Okay, enough of that!
Miyamoto Iori:
Let's take them down and be done with this painfully awkward moment once and for all!
Anne & Mary:
Tyranny!
--BATTLE--
Anne:
Nooo... My booty...
Mary:
As in you lost your chance at claiming Master, or as in you got yours kicked? Well, either way, I can't go on any more either... (Flump)
Fujimaru 1:
Are you two okay?
Anne:
Oh, yes, we're both fit as a fiddle♡
Anne:
But unfortunately, we've still been eliminated from this game. Guess we'd better be on our way.
Fujimaru 2:
Thank goodness we pulled it off...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Man, I had no idea ladies in the West grew up to be so, uh, top-heavy.
Anne:
If you wanna see how heavy they are for yourself, it's gonna cost you... (Flump)
Katsushika Hokusai:
Just gimme a sec. This rough sketch won't take a minute...
Mk. II:
So, the announcer was right. You did defeat Anne and Mary.
Fujimaru 1:
Wait. You're allowed to fly in this game?
Mk. II:
Of course. After all, I was manufac–uh, born with this skill.
Mk. II:
Much more reasonable compared to, say, a Noble Phantasm that summons an entire ocean.
Jeanne:
Woohoo! It's a dolphin eat dolphin world!
Reece:
Squeak, squeak squeak!
(Translation: Unspeakable atrocities)
Fujimaru 1:
Good point...
Mash:
I mean, I guess that's true, but still...
Mk. II:
Anyway, I'll be on my way for now, but I'll be waiting for you at the final battleground.
Siegfried:
How are you going to fight back now that your trump card is gone?
Mk. II:
Did you really think we only had a single trump card? Hmph, I guess those glasses didn't do much for your intelligence.
Siegfried:
They didn't!?
Fujimaru 1:
He's taking that way harder than I thought!
Miyamoto Iori:
Hmm. So they still have another trump card up their sleeves...
Miyamoto Iori:
Any idea what it could be?
Siegfried:
......
Siegfried:
I think it has to be...that.
(Said with the most forlorn expression ever)
Katsushika Hokusai:
That what?
Mash:
Yes... I think you're probably right.
Mash:
It must be the legendary boss from the final act of Chaldea's Halloween trilogy!
Fujimaru 1:
That ridiculous giant robot!
Osakabehime:
Keh heh heh.
Osakabehime:
That's right. As long as I have Giant Mecha Eli-chan, my final secret weapon, I'm unstoppable!
Osakabehime:
......Wait. Hang on.
Osakabehime:
How'm I supposed to bring her!?
Mk. II:
...Fair question.
Mk. II:
Yes, it's impossible to bring her here by normal means.
But, there are ways.
Osakabehime:
Ways? What kind of ways?
Mk. II:
Let me explain...
Siegfried:
I think it would be extremely difficult to bring her here, even though this Las Vegas is a Singularity.
Siegfried:
However...what if they only brought part of her, like her arm?
Mash:
Right... The part that shoots missiles...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Missiles? From an arm?
Fujimaru 1:
Let's just say stranger things have happened.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Gotcha...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Man, I didn't know you were such a worrywart, Master!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Who cares about a missile or two! The great Oui–I mean, Katsushika Hokusai'll cut 'em down before they know what hit 'em!
Miyamoto Iori:
Right on!
Miyamoto Iori:
You can't call yourself a real swordfighter until you've cut at least one missile or bullet right outta the air!
Miyamoto Iori:
Though in my case, I always cut down my opponent before they even get a chance to shoot, or spit in their eye to throw off their aim!
Siegfried:
You should be fine as long as these missiles aren't A-rank or higher.
Siegfried:
Though that does make me wonder just what an A-ranked missile would look like...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Y-ya don't say... I guess there's a lot more ta bein' a swordfighter than I realized.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hey, Master? Do you think I got a real shot at bein' the best swordfighter in Japan?
Fujimaru 1:
I'm sure you could pull it off, Oei.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hehe, yeah? Well great! I feel pretty good knowin' I got your seal of approval!
Siegfried:
It looks like all the other teams have been eliminated as well. All that remains now is the final battle with Osakabehime.
Siegfried:
I wish I could say for certain that they don't have any more surprises...
Siegfried:
But since we don't know for sure, we should play it smart and keep our guard up.
Siegfried:
For if there's one thing I know these glasses are good at, it's playing it smart!
Fou:
Fou...
First Casino "The Swordsmaster Apprentice Glimmers in the Heavens"
Osakabehime:
...So, you're finally here.
Fujimaru 1:
We sure are.
Miyamoto Iori:
Yup! And now, we're going to cut you down to size.
Osakabehime:
Do you have to be so direct about it!?
Osakabehime:
A-anyway, don't get cocky just 'cause your, um, underhanded plan worked on Anne and Mary!
Helena:
Honestly, we didn't even do much there. We just gave them a little push into the grave they dug themselves.
Osakabehime:
Yeah, I can't argue with that...
Blackbeard:
Just goes to show what happens when you let your desires lead you by the nose. It's a good lesson for us all.
Miyamoto Iori:
That may be, but it sure feels weird hearing that from one of the most famous pirates ever.
Blackbeard:
Hah, touché! Anyway, let's get this bloodbath started, shall we?
Miyamoto Iori:
Yikes. It's kind of scary how quickly he shifted gears.
Fujimaru 1:
Kind of reminds me of a certain Musashi I could name.
Miyamoto Iori:
Hey, I–my mentor isn't nearly that hotheaded, okay?
Osakabehime:
All right, let's do this! Show me what you've got!
--BATTLE--
Osakabehime:
Hehehe, this isn't over yet! Chaaarge!
Blackbeard:
Heehaha, diiie! Oh, right, you need a heal, don't you, Batty? Here you go–one Gentlemanly Love.
Osakabehime:
TY, comrade!
Miyamoto Iori:
Rrgh, dammit!
Miyamoto Iori:
That pirate on the enemy's team is really getting annoying!
Blackbeard:
Hohoho!
Blackbeard:
I haven't been training as a semi-regular guest star in all these events for nothing!
Blackbeard:
And as long as my name is Edward Teach, I'm not stopping until I get some original CG artwork for my own brand-new event!
Siegfried:
Amazing. He's looking at things on an entirely different scale than we are!
Mash:
I'm...not sure that's what I would call this...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Those origami soldiers are pretty clever, I'll give ya that! But if that's all ya got...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...this battle's as good as ours!
Siegfried:
No, that isn't all she has!
Be careful, Hokusai!
Siegfried:
Mecha Eli-chan Mk. II is here now!
Mk. II:
Looks like you could use some help. Firing nonlethal missiles.
Fujimaru 1:
Nonlethal missiles? What even IS that!?
Mk. II:
Simple. They're dangerous, but they won't kill you. They'll just knock off some of your HP.
Fujimaru 2:
I knew it'd be missiles!
Mk. II:
Hehe. I thought you might see this coming, my pilot candidate. But these missiles are new and improved.
Mk. II:
Specifically, their nonlethal payload will send you all flying as far as you can go.
Osakabehime:
That sounds pretty lethal to me!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hyaaaaaah!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Yeowch! Dammit all, that moron can't be cut!
Siegfried:
That's because there's a trick to cutting steel.
Mash:
Still, a blast this size shouldn't be any problem for us!
Miyamoto Iori:
Let's take them all down!
Osakabehime:
......(Sigh)
Osakabehime:
Guess I've got no choice but to use my real trump card.
Fujimaru 1:
Did you say your real trump card...?
Osakabehime:
I sure did.
Osakabehime:
Why do you think I brought that stupidly big and tanky arm with me?
Osakabehime:
It's a catalyst.
Osakabehime:
By combining my Swimsuit Swordmaster power and the power of this ridiculous Singularity...
Osakabehime:
...I can virtually recreate my home territory...
Osakabehime:
...which means I can also bring them all the way here!
D：Siegfried (Saw them on video):
Wha–
E：Mash (Saw them on a live feed):
Wha–
Fujimaru 1:
Whaaa!? (Saw them in person)
C：Miyamoto Iori (Never seen them before):
Huh? What? What's she bringing?
F：Katsushika Hokusai (Never seen them before):
Hm?
F：Katsushika Hokusai (Never seen them before):
What's wrong with you three? You look like you've all seen a ghost or somethin'.
Mk. II:
Okay, that's enough chitchat. They're all ready to go, Batty.
Osakabehime:
Excellent. This might not technically be where I was born and raised...
Osakabehime:
...but it is like the first place I set foot in after being reincarnated in an isekai, so it's close enough!
B：Blackbeard (Backseat Author):
(I get it. You spend enough time in that world, and it's hard to step away from it later.)
Osakabehime:
Now, come to me!
Osakabehime:
Csejte Pyramid Himeji Castle!
Osakabehime:
Plus Giant Mecha Eli-chan!
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Speechless)
Miyamoto Iori:
Ahahahaha!
Ahahahahaha!
Miyamoto Iori:
That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen!
Miyamoto Iori:
And that castle! It's so...irreverent!
Miyamoto Iori:
Although, I guess it's technically still considered Himeji Castle?
Miyamoto Iori:
Wait. That's bad, isn't it?
Osakabehime:
Heh heh heh. GG, Musashi!
Miyamoto Iori:
Uh, I'm actually Miyamoto Iori?
Osakabehime:
...Okay then, GG, Iori!
Osakabehime:
As long as Himeji Castle is there, it doesn't matter if Csejte is too!
Osakabehime:
And now that Himeji Castle is here, I'm level three'd out of my mind!
Mk. II:
That's it. Now we can really annihilate them. Give the order, Batty. Slaughter them without mercy.
Osakabehime:
Oh, I will. Believe me!
Osakabehime:
(Deep breath)
Osakabehime:
I am Osakabehime. My purifying Bounded Field extends to all four corners of Himeji Castle.
Osakabehime:
As an old hand at crossing swords, my wild parties are wild enough to send the lower realm into oblivion.
Osakabehime:
Now, state your name!
Miyamoto Iori:
That's your cue, Swimsuit Swordmaster Oei! Good luck!
Katsushika Hokusai:
You got it! You wanna know my name? I'll tell ya my name!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I was born an' raised in Edo, in the Ryougoku district of the Honjo ward.
Katsushika Hokusai:
My given name's Oei, my pen name's Oui, and I'm currently tryin' ta make a name for myself as Swimsuit Swordmaster Katsushika Hokusai.
Katsushika Hokusai:
One day, I'll be an unparalleled master swordfighter, eventually achievin' my goal of becomin' a great fairy with infinite variety to her form.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I trained my sword skills by paintin' ukiyo-e, and now I'm gonna paint this town red with my swords!
Katsushika Hokusai:
C'mon then! Let's have a good, clean fight!
Katsushika Hokusai & Osakabehime:
Let's do this!
Blackbeard:
By the way, Batty, I have to ask:
Are you sure you don't need to work on your draft?
Blackbeard:
'Cause I can tell you right now, I do NOT want to get on Lady Kiyo-yo's bad side.
Osakabehime:
Why'd you have to drag me down to reality just when I'd managed to forget it!?
--BATTLE--
Osakabehime:
Khh, this isn't over yet!
Mecha Eli-chan!
Mk. II:
Understood. Taking flight!
Siegfried:
Oh no. Osakabehime's going on the attack from above!
Helena:
Damn, she's out of my range!
Helena:
All right then, I'll just have to shoot them down with my Noble Phantasm's flying saucers!
Mk. II:
Oh please. Did you really think remote-controlled flying saucers could stop me? As far as I'm concerned, they're just giant skeet targets.
Helena:
Argh!
Osakabehime:
Hey, I can't ADS with all this zipping around! Hey, Mecha Eli-chan! Hold still a sec!
Mk. II:
...All right. We should be safely out of range up here.
Ceasing lateral flight. Transitioning to hover mode.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Dammit! Of all the chintzy underhanded ways ta go out!
Mash:
I've got an idea! One of us needs to jump up towards them!
Fujimaru 1:
All the way up there!?
Mash:
Helena can provide a platform for Oei to jump off from, and Iori can give her a boost!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Huh!? Y-you want ME ta do it!?
Miyamoto Iori:
We don't have time to be picky.
Miyamoto Iori:
Besides, it'll be easy! All you've gotta do is jump up real high and cut through some steel!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I-I dunno...
Miyamoto Iori:
You're aiming to be the greatest swordmaster in Japan, right? Then you've gotta be willing to take on anything!
Fujimaru 1:
Harsh!
Katsushika Hokusai:
......A-all right!
Katsushika Hokusai:
No Edoite worth their salt'd back down from a scrap, and I ain't 'bout ta be the first!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'll do it!
Mash:
Thank you, Oei! We're counting on you!
Osakabehime:
Hm? What are they up to?
Osakabehime:
Well, whatever it is, at least they've stopped moving around.
Mk. II:
Wait. Is that–
Mash:
We're all set!
Mash:
You take it from here, please, Helena!
Helena:
Will do! Don't you worry!
Helena:
This flying saucer might not be too big, but it should be enough to use as a platform!
Katsushika Hokusai:
G-good to know!
Miyamoto Iori:
Okay, Oei, get ready to soar like a bird!
Helena:
I'll make sure to cover you!
Fujimaru 1:
Good luck!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Yeah... Gotcha!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Just you wait, Master! I'm gonna show ya the greatest jump you ever did see!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Here goes nothiiiiiin'!
Helena:
All together... Now!
Mash:
Phase one is a success!
You're up next, Iori!
Osakabehime:
Sh-she's jumping towards us!?
Mk. II:
Not a problem. She can't possibly reach us up here. All I'm concerned about is getting rid of this damn flying sauce–
Osakabehime:
Hm? Chotto a minute! They're still planning something!
Mk. II:
...What could they be up to now?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I still ain't nearly close enough!
Miyamoto Iori:
Guess it's all up to me then!
Miyamoto Iori:
I'll fling my swords over your way, so you can use the back of the blades as footholds!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Are ya sure!? I thought a samurai's swords were as precious to 'em as their soul!
Miyamoto Iori:
It's fine! A true samurai'll happily step on their own soul if it'll help them get closer to the sun!
Miyamoto Iori:
Here goes! One...two...three!
Osakabehime:
Oh, I call hax!
Mk. II:
Don't worry. She's still just jumping. I can easily evade her with a barrel roll.
Mk. II:
All I have to do is change my flight path a little bit, and she'll never be able to catch up to us.
Osakabehime:
Ah...
Osakabehime:
Yamete! Abort, abort!
Mk. II:
Huh?
Osakabehime:
Ma-chan is gunning for us too!
Fujimaru 1:
By my Command Spell...
Fujimaru 2:
Catch up to them!
Katsushika Hokusai:
A-aaaaaah! Wh-what was that!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I got a real ticklish feelin' in my chest outta the blue...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ah, who cares! The important thing is, I can definitely catch up to 'em now!
Mk. II:
...Batty, I'm going to go ahead and apologize to you now for losing a battle in midair.
Osakabehime:
It's okay, Mecha Eli-chan! I understand!
Osakabehime:
Although, um, if she cuts you down now, then...
Mk. II:
Yes. Naturally, you'll fall straight down to the ground.
Mk. II:
Remember what happened with Icarus? Anyone who flies too high with borrowed wings inevitably has a tragic downfall.
Osakabehime:
That traaaaaacks!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Taaake this!
Osakabehime:
Aw man, right at the end...!
Mash:
Yes, Osakabehime. We won this one.
Blackbeard:
I'll say you did!
Blackbeard:
That was a well-earned victory! I haven't felt so good about getting my ass kicked in a long time.
Osakabehime:
I know, I know, I know already!
Osakabehime:
I lost, okay!? I admit it! I lost!
Siegfried:
(I thought I saw something just now...)
Osakabehime:
(Sigh)... And after I got my hands on that amazing power, too.
Osakabehime:
I'm a failure of a Swimsuit Swordmaster.
Miyamoto Iori:
Honestly, you never really struck me as the swordmaster type to begin with.
Osakabehime:
Yeah, that's fair... You know, I think I actually feel better now that I've lost.
Osakabehime:
That strike of yours definitely stung, Hokusai–Er, Oei?–but it was just the wake-up call I needed.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hehe. Well, ya know, I am strivin' to be the best Swimsuit Swordmaster out there.
Katsushika Hokusai:
(All right, once I finish up with a cool swordmasterish one-liner...)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(...Nah, maybe not.)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Everyone here knows I won fair an' square. Master even told me [♂ himself /♀ herself] that I got a shot a bein' the best swordfighter in Japan.)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(So I don't gotta worry 'bout acting the part. Just being me's more than enough!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hehe... Hehehehe... (For the time bein', just laughin' like I don't got a care in the world oughta do the trick!)
Osakabehime:
(Oh man, I can totally tell she's overthinking how to be cool! I feel the noobish aura of someone who's gonna be mortified about this later. SMH...)
Osakabehime:
(But, I'm not gonna say anything to her. I'm not even gonna warn her. As her swordmaster senpai, the best thing I can do now is to watch over her wherever she goes!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Hm? I thought I saw somethin' just now...
Osakabehime:
(Sigh)... Well, now that I've lost, I guess my Swimsuit Swordmaster career is over.
Siegfried:
Then let me ask you: What can you tell us about the other Swimsuit Swordmasters?
Osakabehime:
Oh, I could tell you all sorts of things.
But I'm not going to.
Fujimaru 1:
So much for that idea...
Osakabehime:
I mean, you've seen that summer king, right? She's terrifying...
Fujimaru 2:
What was that...?
Osakabehime:
What was what, Ma-chan?
Osakabehime:
Anyway, let's see...
Osakabehime:
I suppose I could consider telling you what I know if you tell me “I want you more than anything,” Ma-chan.
Mash:
(Twitching in anger)
Katsushika Hokusai:
Say what?
Osakabehime:
JK! JK!
Osakabehime:
We all know there's no way Ma-chan could ever say a pickup line like tha–
Fujimaru 1:
I want you...r information more than anything!
Fujimaru 2:
Of course I need you...r information!
Osakabehime:
!!!
Osakabehime:
N-no fair, Ma-chan! That's playing dirty!
Osakabehime:
You can't look at me with those ultra-dere eyes and tell me you just want my information!
Osakabehime:
Hnnng...! Oh kami-sama, my heart! I can't take it!
Blackbeard:
!!!
Blackbeard:
Um... Batty? Maybe we should think about moving on before–
A：Osakabehime (not listening):
(Sigh)... I feel like I've just been punched right in the feels.
Osakabehime:
Okay, I take it back!
Osakabehime:
From now on, I'll do whatever I can to help you beat the other Swimsuit Swordmasters!
Fujimaru 1:
Batty! Battyyy! Behind yooou!
Osakabehime:
Don't worry, I'm more aggressive than I might look, now that I've changed my Spirit Origin to an Archer.
Osakabehime:
Hm? What's behind me?
Fujimaru 2:
Batty, look out! She's creeping up behind you!
Osakabehime:
Huh? I don't see anyone.
Osakabehime:
Besides, didn't the whole Foreigner mess happen last year? Silly Ma-chan♪
Osakabehime:
!?
Kiyohime:
♡
Osakabehime:
K-K-Kiyo-yo! Th-this isn't what it looks like, okay?
Osakabehime:
Y-y-you've got it all wrong!
Blackbeard:
She's reciting straight from the “cheating lover caught red-handed” playbook...
Kiyohime:
Teehee. It's all right, Batty. I know exactly what's going on here.
Kiyohime:
I can tell when someone is lying, remember?
Osakabehime:
Kyaaa! I forgot all about that!
Kiyohime:
Now then, I'm going to ask you some questions, and you're going to answer them truthfully.
Kiyohime:
First off, do I seem angry to you?
Osakabehime:
......
Osakabehime:
...Y-yes. Extremely...
Kiyohime:
And what do you think I'm going to do to you now that I'm angry?
Osakabehime:
Giggle while you burn me to a crisp?
Kiyohime:
...Hehe, of course not.
Osakabehime:
Th-then, are you going to slap me silly with a flaming paper fan?
Kiyohime:
Don't be silly. I would never do something as cruel as that.
Osakabehime:
Th-then...does that mean you forgive me?
Kiyohime:
Oh yes. There's just one little catch...
Osakabehime:
Th-that sound... Please tell me it's not–!
Kiyohime:
It is. I'm going to shut you away in my Dojo-ji Bell so you can give aaall your attention to finishing the draft♪
Kiyohime:
Oh, and do be careful. My naginata will fill you with holes if they sense you slacking off♡
Osakabehime:
Iyaaaaaa!
Kiyohime:
...Phew.
Kiyohime:
Thank you, Master. Now I can finally get back to work on our draft.
Fujimaru 1:
Don't be too hard on her, okay?
Kiyohime:
Hehe, not to worry.
Kiyohime:
I can tell she genuinely wants to help you now, just as I suspected she would.
Kiyohime:
I'll let her out once our draft is back on track.
Fujimaru 2:
I don't think Batty was trying to sabotage your book.
Kiyohime:
Hehe, don't worry, I'm well aware.
Kiyohime:
I'm just going to make sure she has some time to think about the choices she made that led to this.
Kiyohime:
Besides, she should be able to get plenty of work done on her draft in there. It's air-conditioned and everything.
Mash:
It has an air conditioner!?
Siegfried:
That sounds...quite pleasant...
Katsushika Hokusai:
But your draft's completely blank right now, isn't it?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I dunno if I'd feel comfortable havin' her help us when she's still got so much on her plate...
Kiyohime:
Oh, you don't have to worry about that! I already did the rough draft myself!
Kiyohime:
Hehe... Soon, my high school AU will be a reality... Hehehehe...
Kiyohime:
Batty can scream and cry about how much she hates it all she likes. Now that she's spent so much time fighting as a Swimsuit Swordmaster, she doesn't have a leg to stand on.
Kiyohime:
I can see it now... Master and me, each wearing a sailor uniform, in our very own romantic comedy... Hehehehehe.
Fou:
Fou forror...
Mash:
Putting aside whatever Fou is trying to tell us...
Mash:
This takes care of the second Swimsuit Swordmaster!
Way to go, Master!
Fujimaru 1:
So we've got five to go, huh...
Siegfried:
As they say, even a journey of a thousand kilometers begins with a single step.
Siegfried:
They also say that to strike me down, you should do so from behind.
Fujimaru 1:
They do!?
Siegfried:
...I'm sorry. I was trying to make an intellectual joke...
Siegfried:
I'm afraid it was much funnier in my head than it was in reality...
Helena:
Hehe, guess my work here is done. Okay, I'll leave you kids to it then!
Helena:
There's plenty of other Servants here in Vegas, so it might be worthwhile to have them help you defeat the other Swimsuit Swordmasters.
Fujimaru 1:
Thanks, Helena!
Fujimaru 2:
You really helped us out, Granny!
Helena:
Awww, you're so sweet! Hehehe.
Helena:
Like I told you, Granny's always got it covered!
Well, see you later!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ya know, I just realized... We never did get any info outta Osakabehime, did we?
Blackbeard:
Oh, don't worry. I'll ask Lady Kiyo-yo about that for you later.
Blackbeard:
Once I find out, I'll just tell Kotarou, and I'm sure he'll find a way to pass it on to you.
Siegfried:
Thank you. That would be a big help.
Blackbeard:
Hehehe. Still, now that Batty's not here, I feel like I should at least tell you this in her place.
Siegfried:
Oh?
Blackbeard:
When it comes to Swimsuit Swordmasters, Batty's the bottom of the barrel.
Blackbeard:
Even she wasn't sure she qualified, since she uses guns instead of swords.
Blackbeard:
So watch out, 'cause the next Swimsuit Swordmaster's gonna show you exactly what makes them so terrifying!
Fujimaru 1:
Where'd that lightning come from?
Ivan the Terrible:
It was I.
Ivan the Terrible:
Will that do?
Blackbeard:
That was perfect! Thanks, bro!
Ivan the Terrible:
Very well then.
Fujimaru 1:
I can't believe he called on Ivan for a little mood lightning...
Fujimaru 2:
That had to be the biggest cameo for the dumbest joke ever...
Siegfried:
No wonder you were such a notorious pirate. You truly have no fear of anything...
Blackbeard:
I only brought it up as a joke. I didn't expect the old son of a gun to actually be all in...
Blackbeard:
Anyway, good luck!
Second Casino "Pharaoh Casino"
Narration:
...The wind I feel at these monstrous speeds is as frigid as pure desperation. I love it.
Narration:
This city is too awash with gaudy decoration and pathetic hubris for me to bother claiming it as my own...
Narration:
...but I do enjoy these night winds.
Narration:
The countless city lights that appear at the corners of my eyes before disappearing behind me like comets... Those are the lights of desire.
Narration:
They are a shining symbol of the greed with which people pursue their myriad desires.
Narration:
They are the essence of this city.
Narration:
Here, even I am no exception. One of those lights is mine, reflecting the desire burning so fiercely in me.
Narration:
I take what I need to get what I want.
Narration:
Right now...that's all there is to me.
Narration:
Still, ideally, I would at least like my light to be elegant... To shine so vividly it could take your breath away.
???:
And why not? Humans are inherently greedy creatures. Why should I be any different?
???:
All the more so now that I've become a phantom thief.
Narration:
A red silhouette cuts through the night at dangerous speeds, showing no sign of slowing down...
???:
So take care that I don't end up taking what is most precious to you, children.
???:
For there's one thing–yes, just one thing–I'm willing to steal without sending a calling card.
???:
Do you know what that is? Hehehe...
Mash:
Kotarou should be back from his investigation any moment now... There he is!
Fuuma Kotarou:
My apologies for the delay, Master.
Fujimaru 1:
No problem. How'd it go?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Well, I now know the location of the casino we should tackle next.
Fuuma Kotarou:
But I'm afraid that... Well...
Miyamoto Iori:
What is it? Is there some kind of problem?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Actually...yes, there is.
Fuuma Kotarou:
This casino will also be tricky to get through, albeit in a very different way than Himeji Casino was.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ahaha, so what, there's a real strong swordmaster waitin' for us at the top or somethin'? Sounds perfect!
Katsushika Hokusai:
What're we waitin' for? C'mon, let's go before it gets dark!
Fuuma Kotarou:
No, it's not only the swordmaster, exactly...
Siegfried:
Is the problem the casino itself then?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Yes... You could say that. Maybe it would be faster for you to see for yourselves.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Here, I'll show you the way.
Miyamoto Iori:
Sounds good! I always say it's better to dive in before the udon gets soggy instead of worrying over how hot the broth is!
Miyamoto Iori:
So let's go get ourselves a piping hot bowl right now! And by that, I mean check this place out!
Fuuma Kotarou:
This is it...
Fuuma Kotarou:
The Pharaoh Casino!
Fou:
Efooourtless!
Fujimaru 1:
It's a pyramid!
Fujimaru 2:
Yeah, pretty easy to see who'll be in here.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Well I'll be damned... That's another doozy of a place, ain't it?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'd be rarin' ta paint it if I had my brush on me... But, hehe, right now, my swords come first! Let's go!
Mash:
Ah! Hokusai ran off on her own!
Siegfried:
Still, there's nothing to be gained by standing around idly now that we've come this far.
Siegfried:
Why don't we follow her lead and see what this casino is like for ourselves?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Yes... Good idea. I think that would be better than me futilely trying to explain it.
F：???:
Welcome.
Fujimaru 1:
Medjed!?
Fujimaru 2:
Isn't that Summer NitoNo, wait! It's not!
Mash:
Right, Master! If you look closely, you can see its head is shaped differently! Also it doesn't have the ears...
Fuuma Kotarou:
That's one of the casino's employees. As far as I can tell, that outfit is their uniform.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Almost everyone that works here, from the dealers to the waitstaff, is dressed like that.
Fuuma Kotarou:
At any rate, the problem with this casino is–
Employee:
I beg your pardon, but may I ask if you are all...qualified to enter our illustrious establishment?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Huh? Whatcha mean, qualified?
Employee:
This casino is designed by pharaohs, for pharaohs.
Employee:
But of course, there aren't enough pharaohs out there to serve them exclusively...
Employee:
...so our manager has been generous enough to open its doors to anyone with enough wealth and nobility to be considered something of an...honorary pharaoh.
Employee:
To put it another way...this is not a place for the general public to enjoy themselves.
Siegfried:
I see. So regular people aren't allowed in... But how do you determine who's regular and who's, um, pharaohlike?
Employee:
We ask that any wishing to enter the Pharaoh Casino pay a cover charge to be held as collateral.
Employee:
Of course, we always return this fee once they are ready to leave.
Miyamoto Iori:
Man, talk about being too rich for our blood.
Miyamoto Iori:
So you can't even gamble here unless you've got a boatload of money to leave behind at the entrance.
Employee:
Indeed. And as befitting a casino designed for the upper crust, our entertainment rates are priced accordingly.
Employee:
This ensures that anyone coming to enjoy the Pharaoh Casino must be quite well-off, financially speaking.
Mash:
How much is the cover charge, anyway?
Employee:
Ah yes, let me see... Your basic currency is QP? If we convert it to that, it comes to...
Employee:
...one billion QP.
Fujimaru 1:
Billion!? With a “B”!? Hell no!
Fujimaru 2:
Nope! No way! Nuh-uh! Not happening!
Employee:
I see. I'm sorry to hear that.
Employee:
Well, if you ever become rich enough to join the ranks of honorary pharaoh, we will be glad to have you.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hey! Where do you get off talkin' to us like that, ya blockhead?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Havin' fun at the casino ain't why I'm here! Only reason I'm here's to see the Swimsuit Swordmaster runnin' the place!
Employee:
A casino is first and foremost a place of entertainment. If you have no interest in being entertained, then you are not even a customer to begin with.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Do you ever shut up!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I like takin' my time with painting, but I can't stand bein' given the runaround! Outta my way!
Employee:
...This is the front gate. We have a problem. I repeat, we have a problem. Tresspassers are attempting to break in.
Employee:
Requesting full security system mobilization.
Summon Code: Come forth...
Siegfried:
It looks like the casino now considers us threats.
Siegfried:
This isn't good. If we lose, we'll probably be taken into custody.
Miyamoto Iori:
I know you're not supposed to resort to violence in gambling halls, but I guess we don't have a choice now.
Miyamoto Iori:
If we're going to do this, we may as well see what we're up against!
--BATTLE--
Katsushika Hokusai:
Gnnn...
Fujimaru 1:
I don't think we can break past them... Let's just go.
Fujimaru 2:
Maybe we should just fall back for now...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Aw c'mon, how's that gonna help? It ain't like we're gonna be able to scrounge up a billion QP anytime soon, right?
Fuuma Kotarou:
I could conceivably sneak in from a different way...but even that would be difficult.
Fuuma Kotarou:
And even if I succeeded, it wouldn't help any of you get inside.
Siegfried:
So the only way in is money... If only I had the Rheingold here with me...
Siegfried:
Then again, that would probably just cause its own set of problems...
J：???:
What's up? There a problem here?
Employee:
Thank you for your patronage, miss. Will that be all for today then?
Passing Socialite:
Yup, I had enough for today. Gotta say, I'm liking this pharaoh hospitality stuff.
Passing Socialite:
Though I guess pharaohs are like gods in their own right, so they damn well better be able to please a goddess.
Passing Socialite:
Anyhoo...
Passing Socialite:
Hmm, I haven't seen a bunch of commoners looking so down in a while.
Passing Socialite:
You know, I think I can tell what's going on here.
Passing Socialite:
Well, I suppose one of the marks of a first-class goddess is letting the plebs experience bliss now and again.
Passing Socialite:
Hey, you there. Go ahead and let these guys in on my collateral, 'kay?
Employee:
Are you sure, miss?
Passing Socialite:
Sure I'm sure. I'll just be getting the money back a little later is all.
Employee:
Very good then.
Employee:
Welcome, welcome. Right this way, distinguished guests...
Mash:
You're paying our entry fee for us...?
Mash:
Th-thank you so much!
Passing Socialite:
Eh, think nothing of it. Besides—so no worries.
Passing Socialite:
Well, later then. Try not to lose your shirts in there while you're experiencing the joys of wealthy living.
Passing Socialite:
Oh, and when you're done, you can return the money to me at the Gildalay Hotel. I'm staying in the royal suite.
Passing Socialite:
I only reserved a room there so I could nitpick the place to pieces, but damn if it doesn't have excellent service.
Passing Socialite:
Who knew he'd be more cut out for business than he was running a kingdom...
Fujimaru 1:
Gee, I wonder who that nice lady could have possibly been. (Monotone)
Fujimaru 2:
I don't know who that was, but something about this seems fishy.
Katsushika Hokusai:
So...this mean we can go in now?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ha, and all thanks to the unexpected help of that kind woman! Guess all that clean livin' I did really paid off!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Well, what're we waitin' for? Let's get while the gettin's good!
Miyamoto Iori:
I don't know. There's no such thing as a free lunch, so there definitely can't be free entry to a fancy casino...
Miyamoto Iori:
That goddess lady might have had a nice smile, but something tells me we shouldn't trust her too much...
Siegfried:
Regardless, this could be our only chance to get in. Let's go, Master.
Fou:
Fou, fou.
Mash:
I have to say, I was expecting something much more...ostentatious.
Fujimaru 1:
It's a lot more Medjedy in here than I was expecting.
Miyamoto Iori:
True. Between the, um, employee uniforms, and the choice of decor, they really do seem to be everywhere... Huh?
Mash:
Aah! A bunch of flower petals came out of nowhere and buried Fou alive! Fou! Speak to me!
Fou:
Fou, fooou! (Special Translation: You are such a pain in the ass!)
Mister Mystery:
Ahh, it's so nice and exotic here, isn't it? You don't get this kind of passion and vitality in Western Europe.
Mister Mystery:
Anyway, this seems like a good time to let you in on a little secret about this casino.
Mister Mystery:
I already know what's on your mind. It's the Medjeds you were just talking about, no?
Mister Mystery:
Some of them are ordinary people who just threw on a sheet to do their job...
Mister Mystery:
...but some of them are also bona fide familiars with sheets over their heads. Fun, huh?
Fujimaru 1:
Are they different from the ones that are usually in the pharaoh's room?
Mister Mystery:
Yes, their similarities are only sheet-deep. Though there are some normal Medjeds wandering around too.
Mister Mystery:
Anyway, you see all those decorative ornaments around here?
Mister Mystery:
They seem to serve as something like security cameras for the casino.
Mister Mystery:
Watch out for them if you plan on trying anything a little...sneaky.
Mister Mystery:
I swear, a few little cards swapped out under the table, and suddenly you're getting peppered with laser beams...
Mister Mystery:
Hahaha. Anyway, that's all for now! Enjoy your hot desert gambling!
Fou:
Fou. Fooou...
Siegfried:
Putting the trivia Mer–I mean, that mysterious man taught us aside...
Siegfried:
It looks like all the guests here are quite wealthy. I hope we don't stand out too much.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ahh, don't sweat it.
Katsushika Hokusai:
We ain't here for gambling like they are. We're just here for the Swimsuit Swordmaster, wherever they might be.
Mash:
Of course, we'll also need a letter of challenge before we can fight them. I wonder where we can get that?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Master, do you see that counter over there?
Fuuma Kotarou:
It looks like you can exchange the chips you earn through gambling here for prizes.
Fuuma Kotarou:
And one of those prizes is–
Fujimaru 1:
A voucher for taking a picture with Medjed!
Fuuma Kotarou:
Um, yes, that's true, Master, but I was talking about the letter of challenge next to it!
Fujimaru 2:
A letter of challenge!
Miyamoto Iori:
Hmm, so that's how many chips you need for it, huh? If we convert that to QP...
Miyamoto Iori:
That much!?
Mash:
There's no way we can afford that with the QP we have on us. I guess we'll just have to try and make more by gambling...
Siegfried:
I'm afraid it's not that simple. Look.
Siegfried:
Even at the lowest rollers' poker table, there's more money changing hands than most people see in a lifetime.
Siegfried:
I can't even imagine what kind of sums are being bet at the highest rollers' table...
Fuuma Kotarou:
Honestly, I'm not even sure we can afford the ante for the low rollers' table, never mind actually betting.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Of course, if you need me to obtain more money, Master, I would be happy to offer myself up as collateral for a loan!
Fujimaru 1:
There's no way I'm literally gambling with someone's life!
???:
Hohoho! It seems we have some adorable commoners here too ignorant to realize they don't belong.
Cleopatra:
But seriously, are you all right? Are you sure you didn't wind up here by mistake?
Cleopatra:
There's no shame in partaking in the courtesy ultra first-class welcome drinks, enjoying the sights and sounds, and going on your merry way, you know.
Cleopatra:
Oh yes, I haven't introduced myself, have I? I'm Cleopatra VII Philopator, assistant manager of this casino!
Cleopatra:
Please don't hesitate to let me know if you need any help!
Scheherazade:
And I'm Scheherazade, this casino's head of security...
Scheherazade:
I usually stay away from positions like this, but there were, um, extenuating circumstances that forced my hand...
Scheherazade:
So, um, I would so very grateful if you didn't cause any trouble or make unreasonable complaints...
Scheherazade:
...as I'd very much like not to die from exhaustion...
Mash:
So these are the people in charge of this casino. I'm glad they aren't one of the more, um, volatile personalities.
Fujimaru 1:
I had a feeling we might run into them once I saw the pyramid.
Fujimaru 2:
That just leaves one last mystery...
Mash:
Right. The identity of this casino's manager. Though I think I've also started to figure it out...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Good timin'! Maybe now you can tell us what kinda bull you're tryin' to pull here!
Katsushika Hokusai:
You're a couple of vultures, that's what ya are! This whole place is a scam!
Cleopatra:
Huh?
...Oh, is this about the letter of challenge?
Cleopatra:
What do you expect? This is an ultra high-class casino. Originally, it was only supposed to serve other pharaohs.
Cleopatra:
Setting the price any lower would be an affront to this institution's dignity!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Don't gimme that! There's no way anyone could actually trade for that thing, and you know it!
Katsushika Hokusai:
You're just usin' it as a way to squeeze every last cent outta us, right!?
Cleopatra:
Speaking on her behalf...that is a ridiculous, insolent notion. You have the wrong idea entirely.
Cleopatra:
The letter's asking price has been carefully chosen to be well within the means of anyone who's spent an evening winning big at the high rollers' table.
Cleopatra:
In fact, I just remembered. If I'm not mistaken, I believe someone has already traded for it.
Scheherazade:
Yes, that's right. May I suggest you take a closer look at the prize case?
Siegfried:
I see. I didn't notice that little sign before...
Mash:
It says “(Sample) Sold Out. Next shipment TBD”!
Mash:
So, does this mean someone else has the real letter of challenge?
Cleopatra:
I don't remember who it was that traded for it, but as far as I know, they have yet to challenge the manager.
Scheherazade:
Yes, I don't believe they have. Perhaps they mean to take it with them to their grave...
Cleopatra:
Maybe. They certainly wouldn't be the first wealthy person to buy something they don't need and keep it in storage.
Cleopatra:
I know I've done that plenty of times myself.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Sold out? Now what're you on about?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I need that letter if I'm ever gonna be the best swordmaster in all of Japan.
Katsushika Hokusai:
If I don't get it, I'm just gonna challenge this casino's Swimsuit Swordmaster right here and now.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Maybe instead of a letter, I'll just let my swords here do all the talkin'!
F：???:
...What's going on here?
Fujimaru 1:
There's the other shoe dropping!
Fujimaru 2:
Saw that coming!
Cleopatra:
Ahh, that divine heavenly form! Every time I see it, I feel as though my eyes are going to pop out of their sockets!
Cleopatra:
Hehe, but then, if I, a pharaoh, were ever to serve another, what else could you expect?
Cleopatra:
Yes, this is none other than our fine casino's manager... No, our godager!
Cleopatra:
Behold their glorious, crystal clear eyes; how they shine with love, mercy, and fury towards insolent fools!
Cleopatra:
Yes, this is our great and fabulous godager...
Swimsuit Swordmaster MEDJED!
Fujimaru 1:
Swimsuit Swordmaster...MEDJED?
Fujimaru 2:
MEDJED...?
Mash:
Are you all right, Senpai!? Please, get ahold of yourself! Your eyes are starting to resemble theirs!
MEDJED:
My casino is meant for pharaohs. Every aspect of it must reflect that purpose.
MEDJED:
Noisemaking and uncouth behavior are out of the question. Customers must demonstrate composure at all times.
MEDJED:
If they do not...
Mash:
Um... I don't think I can keep up this pretense anymore, so I'm just going to use her real name...
Mash:
...but it seems to me like Nitocris isn't quite her usual self somehow?
Mash:
And I don't just mean because she has that sheet draped over herself again.
Mash:
It feels like she's using that version of herself as a base for something more.
Miyamoto Iori:
I've only seen Nitocris around Chal–I mean, here and there, so I've never talked to her in person before, but yeah, I'd agree with that.
Miyamoto Iori:
This might be kind of blasphemous, but it kind of seems like she's more godlike than usual, don't you think?
Scheherazade:
This is Nitocris's third summer here. In other words, her third time being Medjed.
Scheherazade:
Her excitement at discovering a pyramid-shaped casino... Her confusion at being appointed a Swimsuit Swordmaster, something she had previously never heard of...
Scheherazade:
All these emotions swirled together, pushing her already earnest nature into overdrive.
Scheherazade:
This caused her Divinity to overflow...
Scheherazade:
...and now, the Medjed side of her has become a bit stronger than usual.
Scheherazade:
I suspect her personality has become more, um, divine, as a result...and the original Nitocris is probably asleep, most likely in a dream state.
Scheherazade:
My guess is she won't recover until the summer ends, or until she suffers a powerful shock to her system.
Scheherazade:
Since there's no telling what could happen to her like this, and I'd hate for her to die in an unfortunate accident...
Scheherazade:
The least I can do is help her while working by her side.
Fujimaru 1:
That sounds rough...
Fujimaru 2:
My condolences...
Katsushika Hokusai:
So...basically, you're sayin' this teru teru baldy here's the Swimsuit Swordmaster in charge of this casino?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hehe, well that's perfect! Saves me the trouble of trackin' her down!
Katsushika Hokusai:
If I don't get a letter of challenge, I'll just hafta challenge her to a match here an' now!
Cleopatra:
And I'm telling you, you can't just go around challenging the great MEDJED like this!
Cleopatra:
There, you see? She's furious!
MEDJED:
Violence! Entitlement! Unacceptable!
Fujimaru 1:
Is she glowing now!?
Fujimaru 2:
Since when is she able to glow!?
Scheherazade:
Speaking in terms of stats, she has gone from B-rank Divinity to EX-rank Medjed.
Scheherazade:
She may differ from the real Medjed in numerous ways, but the key takeaway...
Scheherazade:
...is that she has become this casino's guardian god, devoting all of her power to keeping it safe.
Scheherazade:
And so, her eyes glow now. Though I'll admit, I'm not quite sure how that follows either.
Siegfried:
I don't know what's going to happen to us without a letter of challenge...but I can see that Hokusai's already on the move.
Siegfried:
We'll just have to back her up as best we can, Master!
--BATTLE--
Katsushika Hokusai:
The hell's goin' on! I can't even touch her!
Siegfried:
It must be that Ruler's power at work. So this is why we need a letter of challenge to duel a Swimsuit Swordmaster.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Another anvil!? Why're there so many damn traps here? I thought this was s'posed ta be a casino!
Miyamoto Iori:
Yeehaw! All these traps 'round every corner takes me back to good ol' Thunder Mountain!
Miyamoto Iori:
Whoa, here comes a line of spears. Hup!
Fuuma Kotarou:
You're right... This casino reminds me of nothing so much as a booby-trapped ninja mansion! Please remain where you are, Master! It's not safe to move around!
Cleopatra:
Why are you so shocked? We pharaohs are skilled at many things, but if there is one thing we do especially well...
Cleopatra:
...it is planting traps and curses in our sacred tombs to thwart any would-be looters in the most painful manner.
Cleopatra:
And since this casino is the Great MEDJED's home, it's only natural that it would have a trap or two...hundred!
I：MEDJED:
So, you have yet to concede? How foolish. Give yourselves up while you still can.
I：MEDJED:
To resist further is to disrespect... Disrespect... Respect respect respecccccc–
Mash:
?
Scheherazade:
I was afraid of this!
Scheherazade:
Nitocris is taking her duties so seriously that she's showing symptoms of acute Medjednitis! I have to help her calm down!
Miyamoto Iori:
Now's our chance.
Miyamoto Iori:
Since we still can't hurt her, and we definitely don't have the home field advantage, I vote we fall back.
Fujimaru 1:
Seconded! Let's get out of here!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Tch, all right, fine! But the next time we come here, I'll be ready!
Cleopatra:
Get back here!
Cleopatra:
Security sphinxes, move out! We can't let anyone profane the Great MEDJED and get away with it!
Mash:
We're surrounded! I don't know if we'll be able to break through!
Cleopatra:
Hohohoho! It's hopeless!
Cleopatra:
But don't worry, I won't kill you.
Cleopatra:
I'm just going to lock you in the discipline room for the rest of summer and educate you on the Great MEDJED's sheer splendor and beauty until you can recite the finer points in your sleep!
Katsushika Hokusai:
No way. I'm...gonna be the greatest swordmaster ever... I can't let my summer end like this!
Miyamoto Iori:
...
Siegfried:
We're all tired after fighting so many battles. I wonder if there's a way out of this I'm not seeing...
Fuuma Kotarou:
I think a tactician I might have seen around the Wandering Sea lately said something about situations like this.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I think a tactician I might have seen around Chaldea lately said something about situations like this.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I remember now. He said there's no need to panic, even when things look hopeless. There's always something you can do.
Fuuma Kotarou:
He's right. There's one thing I can do that's sure to clear a path for the rest of–
Fujimaru 1:
No! No self-destruction!
Mash:
I-is that...!?
Carmilla:
You look like you could use some help, little [♂ boy /♀ girl]. Want a ride?
Mash:
Master!
Fujimaru 1:
Yes please! But, can you seat all of us?
Fujimaru 2:
That'd be great! I don't think we can all fit, though.
Miyamoto Iori:
(Whoa, an exotic car! I never even stopped to think you could get one of those in Vegas!)
Miyamoto Iori:
Anyway, I can be jealous later! Fujimaru's right. There's no way we can all fit in that...
Miyamoto Iori:
Don't worry about me. I'll find a way out of here and meet you back at the hotel!
Siegfried:
I'll do the same. I'm too big for this car anyway.
Siegfried:
Besides, on my own, I can think of several ways out of here that don't involve self-destruction.
Fuuma Kotarou:
That just leaves Master, Lady Mash, and Lady Hokusai...they should all be able to squeeze into the passenger seat.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Oh, don't worry about me. I can ride on top of the car just fine. No need to slow down on my behalf.
Fuuma Kotarou:
That said, I have to ask: Why does this car only have two seats!? Were you just trying to save money?
Carmilla:
Are you an idiot!? A proper sports car only has two seats!
Scheherazade:
...And so, the great pharaoh protected her country happily ever after.
Scheherazade:
The end.
MEDJED:
(Zzz)... (Zzz)...
MEDJED:
Huh? What was I doing?
Scheherazade:
Nothing, Great MEDJED. Now come on, it's time you got back to work.
MEDJED:
I see. Then I will return to the VIP room and shower the winners with celebration beams.
MEDJED:
Long live the Pharaoh Casino...
Cleopatra:
I'm glad you're here to soothe Great MEDJED. No one else is up to the task.
Scheherazade:
Thank you... What happened to Master's group?
Cleopatra:
They got away, I'm afraid. A strange red car showed up out of nowhere and gave them a ride.
Cleopatra:
Master or not, I cannot allow anyone to cloud Great MEDJED's beautiful eyes.
Cleopatra:
I'll have to make sure [♂ he /♀ she] gets the full educational treatment the next time [♂ he /♀ she] shows up.
Scheherazade:
(...All I want is for those two to get through this summer healthy, happy, and most importantly, without dying...)
Cleopatra:
Hehe, no need to worry.
Cleopatra:
The Pharaoh Casino is so luxurious that it holds numerous treasures within its vault.
Cleopatra:
As such, we already have the highest class state-of-the-art security, including the Pharaoh Traps. Besides...
Cleopatra:
No, never mind. I don't think Master is concerned with the vault at all.
Cleopatra:
The point is, you can relax, secure in the knowledge that there is nothing to worry about.
Cleopatra:
All you need concern yourself with is attending to Great MEDJED's mental health.
Second Casino "A Gorgeous Challenge"
Mash:
Phew! I'm glad we made it back to our hotel safely.
Mash:
Thank you, Carmilla. I don't know what we would have done without you.
Fou:
Fou, fou.
Fujimaru 1:
I'll say. Thanks, Carmilla!
Fujimaru 2:
You really saved our asses back there!
Carmilla:
Hehe... That's quite all right. Helping you suited my interests.
Mash:
That said, how come you were there to begin with? And where did you get that outfit? Not to mention the car?
Carmilla:
You mean you can't tell? Hmm, I suppose it might be hard to tell with all this on.
Carmilla:
I have a swimsuit now!
Carmilla:
Hehehe, that's right. The little idol wannabe may not have one yet, but I do!
Carmilla:
Hmm, I suppose it is unbecoming to be quite so boastful about it, though...
Carmilla:
Let's just say I made a powerful wish that temporarily changed my Spirit Origin.
Carmilla:
The car is something of a package deal.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Whoa, I had no idea you were coverin' up such a pretty face all this time.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Is there a reason ya don't always go 'round like that?
Carmilla:
It's a policy of mine not to, shall we say, give the goods away for cheap. Sorry, little girl.
Carmilla:
At any rate, there's something I wanted to discuss with–
Passing Socialite:
Oh good, you guys are back now, huh?
Mash:
Oh! It's the passing socialite that helped us out!
Mash:
Actually, I think we can just drop the pretense now, right? Anyway, thank you so much, Ishtar.
Mash:
Here's your money back! It's a good thing somebody threw the entry fee to us when we were making our escape.
Mash:
I guess they really are sticklers for the rules...
Fujimaru 1:
Thanks again. You really helped us out.
Fujimaru 2:
I don't know what we would have done without your help.
Ishtar:
Oh, that's all right. You don't have to thank me, really.
Ishtar:
Just pay me back the interest you owe me and we'll call it even.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Interest? What interest?
Ishtar:
Oh come on, I said it loud and clear when I was passing you by, remember?
Ishtar:
Well, I guess it miiight have been a little hard for you to make out, since I said it at Divine Rapid Words level speeds...
Ishtar:
...but it's not my fault you didn't do your due diligence before forming a contract with me, right?
Ishtar:
Anyway, the fact remains that you used my money. Now then, here's my interest rate, and the actual amount owed.
Mash:
Wh-what are we going to do now, Senpai!? The excessive interest alone is enough to completely bankrupt us!
Fuuma Kotarou:
I don't usually like to curse people out, but in this case, Master, I'll make an exception on your behalf.
Fuuma Kotarou:
You're a demon! A devil in red! A useless goddess that's only good for causing trouble!
Ishtar:
Sticks and stones, little ninja. All that matters to me is whether you can pay the interest. Well?
Ishtar:
'Cause if not, well, you'll just have to pay me back with something else then, won't you?
Fujimaru 1:
Something else, you say?
Ishtar:
Oh come on, you know what I like. Cold, hard...gems.
Ishtar:
And as it just so happens, there's a certain gem in particular I'd like you to fetch for me.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I gotta say, that little spiel makes it sound like you were schemin' the whole time.
Katsushika Hokusai:
That's why you lent us your money even though we never asked.
Ishtar:
I'm just gonna plead the fifth on that.
Ishtar:
Anyway, this gem is being kept in the Pharaoh Casino's highest-security vault. It's–
Carmilla:
A perfectly smooth leaf made out of a brilliant blue jewel. It's quite large, heavier than it looks, and it shines as bright and pure as an oasis in the desert.
Carmilla:
The casino's managers call it...
“the Eye of Medjed.”
Ishtar:
Oh? How did you know that?
Carmilla:
Hehe...
Fujimaru 1:
What kind of business card is this!?
Fujimaru 2:
I hope we don't get in trouble for the hole she made when she threw it into the wall...
Carmilla:
I don't usually go around advertising this, but I think that in this case, it is best I come clean.
Carmilla:
I fear this swimsuited noblewoman persona is but a façade. When night falls, I take on a new, secret identity.
Carmilla:
I am the scarlet phantom that cuts through the dark... I am the shadow of freedom, ever eluding capture...
Carmilla:
Yes, I am the mysterious phantom thief who has become the talk of the town...Mistress C!
--BATTLE--
Fujimaru 1:
(Phantom thief?)
Fujimaru 2:
(Mistress C?)
Mash:
(What in the world is a “shadow of freedom” and how did she work it into her sentence so smoothly!?)
Fuuma Kotarou:
(Why did she throw her calling card into the wall? Does it double as some kind of shuriken?)
Carmilla:
Hehehe... (Radiating smugness)
Fou:
Fo fo, fooou.
Carmilla:
As you might expect from a master phantom thief, I'm interested in acquiring this Eye of Medjed myself.
Carmilla:
However, I can't do it alone. That's why I saved you, thus leaving you in my debt and with no choice but to assist.
Ishtar:
So we both had the same basic idea, huh... It doesn't compare to my divine inspiration, of course, but I'll admit, that's pretty clever.
Fujimaru 1:
So...you two both want the same thing?
Fujimaru 2:
Does this mean you two are competing with each other then?
Carmilla:
Not necessarily. I could take or leave the jewel itself.
Carmilla:
All I want is the value associated with it.
Carmilla:
As long as you're willing to pay me what it's worth, I'm perfectly willing to let the jewel go.
Ishtar:
...Well, all right. I knew I might have to pony up for a few miscellaneous expenses, and this certainly qualifies.
Ishtar:
I never thought I'd be the patron of a phantom thief one day. Guess it just goes to show life's full of surprises.
Ishtar:
Okay then, you guys are now officially hired to bring me this jewel called the Eye of Medjed.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Whoa, whoa, slow down! We ain't agreed ta do nothin' yet!
Katsushika Hokusai:
A good Edoite always pays her debts, so I don't gotta problem with that, but I got somethin' else I need to take care of first.
Katsushika Hokusai:
For one thing, I still gotta figure out a way ta get my hands on that letter of challenge.
Ishtar:
Oh, you mean this?
Fuuma Kotarou:
!?
Ishtar:
I traded for it after I won big at the high rollers' table. Let's just say I had my reasons.
Ishtar:
Anyway, it isn't going to do me any good, since I decided not to bother with it, so...
Ishtar:
Know what? If you manage to get the Eye of Medjed, I'll throw the letter in for free.
Ishtar:
So there you go. In exchange for doing this job for me, you'll get this letter of challenge, and I'll consider your interest debt fully repaid.
Carmilla:
And I need help to steal this jewel anyway, so this is how you will pay me back for rescuing you when you were in trouble.
Carmilla:
It seems to me you don't have any choice but to accept.
Carmilla:
Besides, once you do this job, you'll have everything you wanted as well. What is there to think about?
Fujimaru 1:
But, stealing is wrong...
Ishtar:
Oh for... I knew you were gonna say something like that.
Ishtar:
All right, I didn't want to have to tell you this 'cause it's embarrassing...
Ishtar:
...but that jewel originally belonged to me, so you wouldn't be doing anything wrong.
Mash:
It did? But then...why does the Pharaoh Casino have it now?
Ishtar:
Look, I took it out of my collection to admire it for a bit, as you do...
Ishtar:
...but then I dropped it Gugalanna-style, and it ended up falling right into that pyramid.
Ishtar:
By the time I realized where it was, the pharaoh girl had already started treating it like a family heirloom.
Ishtar:
I went to the casino and tried to explain what happened, but suffice it to say, there was no room for negotiation.
Ishtar:
You know how her Divinity's kind of bugging out right now, yeah? So she's impossible to reason with at the moment.
Ishtar:
I thought about challenging her to a swordmaster duel, and even traded for a letter of challenge...
Ishtar:
...but then I realized that even if I won, it still wouldn't give me ownership over the casino.
Ishtar:
Sure, I could wreck the whole casino and take it by brute force, but no one wants that, right?
Fou:
Kyu, fooou. (Approximate Translation: That's for sure.)
Ishtar:
So that only leaves having a specialist who's better with these more...delicate operations sneak it out for me.
Ishtar:
All right, I'm done. I'll let the phantom thief over there sweat the small stuff.
Ishtar:
Besides, I'm sure you've already got a plan in mind if you already had designs on it, right?
Carmilla:
Indeed, I do. And a very clever one, if I do say so myself.
Carmilla:
In a word, we're going to fight opulence with opulence.
Ishtar:
Great! I don't know how that's supposed to work, but that sounds good to–
Siegfried:
Sorry I'm late. Getting away from there was harder than I expected.
Siegfried:
Iori and I got separated on the way back, but I'm sure she's just making a side stop somewhere.
Ishtar:
Oh yes, that reminds me. Since we don't have a formal contract in place, I'll just hold on to this Servant of yours as collateral.
Ishtar:
I mean, as a goddess, I can't have anyone being more opulent than me, right?
Ishtar:
So I was just looking for a nice, strong Servant to help me modify Maanna.
Fou:
Fou. Fou fou. (Special Translation: So, basically, you're hinting that you want your Noble Phantasm enhanced?)
Ishtar:
Why, whatever do you mean?
Ishtar:
Oh, just so you know, I'll be having Ninja Boy of the Hidden Eyes there helping me out too☆
Siegfried:
Um, I feel like I missed something important...
Fuuma Kotarou:
I can't believe this goddess!
Ishtar:
Okay, good luck☆
Katsushika Hokusai:
Gnnn! She didn't listen to a word we said!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Still...I guess it's kinda nice that we know what we gotta do now...
Fujimaru 1:
Not that we have any choice about it, but yeah...
Mash:
So, if we do this job for Ishtar...
Mash:
...we'll get the letter of challenge we need, and we can pay both Carmilla and Ishtar back...
Carmilla:
As for me, I get to enjoy the pride of pulling off a difficult heist, the thrill of stealing something beautiful, and money when it's all over...
Carmilla:
It would seem everybody wins, yes?
Mash:
Honestly, I'm still very curious to know why you became a phantom thief in the first place...
Carmilla:
Oh, that? All in good time. Though really, it's something of a private matter anyway, so you really don't need to worry about it.
Carmilla:
Now then...
Fujimaru 1:
Another calling card...
Fujimaru 2:
What's this about now?
Mash:
It says, “It is time to plan our heist.”
Mash:
Um... I feel very bad about pointing this out, but...
Mash:
...couldn't you have just said that?
Carmilla:
The first thing you need to know is that the Pharaoh Casino has a truly unrivalled security system, so breaking in won't be easy by any means.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Are you listening!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ah, forget it. She prob'ly just gets off on throwin' things.
Carmilla:
Quiet. The adults are talking.
Carmilla:
Let's start by going over our biggest obstacles. There's the literal god running the place... The assistant manager is one of the greatest beauties in all the world...
Carmilla:
The head of security excels at surviving and adapting... And a multitude of pyramid-style traps are laid all throughout the casino.
Carmilla:
But, there's a way to get past all those obstacles and obtain the Eye of Medjed smartly and opulently...
Carmilla:
...and I've already figured it out.
Fujimaru 1:
Well that's reassuring! So what's the plan?
Carmilla:
I'll tell you while we prepare. We still have several things we need to get ready.
Carmilla:
You see, I will need your help for this, but your help alone won't be enough.
Carmilla:
We still need three other people to complete the team. Your first job will be helping me to recruit them.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ooh, sounds like we'll be doin one of those heist movies, recruitin' new people for our band of thieves. All right, who're we invitin' first?
Carmilla:
Didn't I already tell you? The only way to fight opulence is with opulence.
Carmilla:
Which is why we'll be going after three super socialites I handpicked myself!
Yu Mei-ren:
Crap.
Fujimaru 1:
(A socialite? Her?)
Fujimaru 2:
(Well, she does seem like she'd be at home on a red carpet...)
Yu Mei-ren:
What do you want? Aren't you done laughing at me yet?
Yu Mei-ren:
Go on, get out of here. Shoo, shoo!
Yu Mei-ren:
I was reminiscing about the wonderful memories I've made during my time with Lord Xiang Yu, and I don't want anyone interrupting me.
Carmilla:
Oh? Why would you do that when you could be out making new memories with him?
Yu Mei-ren:
Well, you know... Lord Xiang Yu's resting right now, and I didn't want to bother him...
Carmilla:
Is that so? Nice try, but we phantom thieves always make sure to do our homework!
“I know what you want to steal, and I'm willing to help you steal it...”
Yu Mei-ren:
......
Yu Mei-ren:
...Was the card-throwing necessary?
Carmilla:
There you have it! So, what do you say? Will you help me with my plan?
Yu Mei-ren:
(Sigh) I can't stand the idea of a human thinking she can use me like a pawn.
Yu Mei-ren:
No, you're worse. You're not even human. You're a pale imitation of a vampire with delusions of grandeur.
Carmilla:
Unfortunately, I'm a little bit removed from that right now. Which is why I've become a phantom thief.
Yu Mei-ren:
...?
Yu Mei-ren:
Well, whatever. I have to make you pay for disturbing my happy Lord Xiang Yu dreamtime anyway.
Carmilla:
Perfect. That fur cape really cements your status as a socialite. I knew you were the right woman for the job.
Yu Mei-ren:
What are you talking about!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hehe, guess it's just like they say:
Right gives way to might.
Katsushika Hokusai:
'Sides, this summer, there's no better way ta settle a dispute like this than with our swords!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Come on, Master, let's do this!
--BATTLE--
Yu Mei-ren:
Okay, okay, I'll at least hear you out!
So? What do you want me to do, anyway!?
Carmilla:
No need to be so belligerent about it.
Carmilla:
Personally, I want you to be part of our phantom thief heist plan...
Carmilla:
...but as I said on my calling card, I'm sure there's something there that will be worth stealing for you, too.
Fujimaru 1:
(She's really stretching the definition of “calling card,” isn't she?)
Yu Mei-ren:
What do you mean by that?
Carmilla:
I heard you had a bad losing streak at the casinos lately.
Carmilla:
And while your lover may have helped finance some of that, it was essentially a Band-Aid for a bullet wound, yes?
Carmilla:
That's why you're still here, isn't it?
Carmilla:
You want to get back at casinos in general for humiliating you like that.
Yu Mei-ren:
!
Carmilla:
If our plan succeeds, we'll inflict a major blow to the casinos' pride and reputation.
Carmilla:
All of this is to say that our heist will let us destroy the very sense of superiority you so hate about them.
Yu Mei-ren:
...You know, you're right. I never did like those places.
Yu Mei-ren:
I can't stand the idea of me getting upset or overjoyed because of some silly human-designed rules and systems.
Yu Mei-ren:
Stupid casinos. What a joke.
Yu Mei-ren:
So yeah, if I can get my revenge on casinos for disgracing me in front of Lord Xiang Yu...
Yu Mei-ren:
...I guess this might not be the worst way to pass some time.
Fujimaru 1:
(Paisen...)
Fujimaru 2:
(I wouldn't have expected that from her...)
Katsushika Hokusai:
Well whaddaya know? This gal turned out to be way more of a pushover than I thought!
Mash:
P-please don't say things like that in her earshot, Hokusai!
Mash:
Er, what she meant to say was, it's great that you're so flexible, Yu Mei-ren!
Fou:
Fou...
--ARROW--
Yu Mei-ren:
What, you don't even have any tea here? Cheapskates.
Yu Mei-ren:
Oh, by the way, I won't be lifting a finger until it's showtime, so just keep that in mind. Hey, how about snacks? Do you at least have any good snacks?
Carmilla:
...All right, now that we have Yu Mei-ren holding down the fort, we can move on to our next super socialite.
Carmilla:
For this occasion, not just any socialite will do. She also needs to be in a swimsuit, and to be a strong fighter.
Carmilla:
No, not just strong. Her fighting form must be as elegant as it is formidable.
Carmilla:
Which leaves only one option...
Carmilla:
Hehe... Go ahead and read it.
Carmilla:
That calling card will guide you to what you desire...the dreamy oasis you have been seeking to quench your thirst in this barren desert.
Scáthach:
What's this now?
Scáthach:
Oho. I don't know what a socialite is, but if it is my skill in combat you seek, then I must commend your taste.
Scáthach:
I was told this was a city of decadence and madness.
Scáthach:
I thought that people who have lost everything to gambling, and who now dream of winning big and turning their lives around...
Scáthach:
...would be lurking around every corner just waiting for an unsuspecting victim to come within ambush range.
Scáthach:
So I have been deeply displeased by how boringly peaceful the reality has been.
Scáthach:
I was looking forward to experiencing battle with desperate souls who have nothing more left to lose.
Fujimaru 1:
That doesn't sound like my idea of a good time...
Scáthach:
Now then, shall we get to it?
Mash:
Wait. Huh?
Carmilla:
...You do realize we aren't even at the casino yet?
Scáthach:
This job you propose does sound like fun, but I have a different reward in mind.
Scáthach:
And what better manner of advance payment than a duel with an unfamiliar swordfighter?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hehe, now that's a woman after my own heart.
Katsushika Hokusai:
You better believe that's fine with me. I already made up my mind to become the greatest swordfighter around.
Katsushika Hokusai:
And there ain't no way that's happenin' by passin' up a chance ta face off against a fierce opponent!
--ARROW--
Scáthach:
Oho. So you are a fairy who has been alive for thousands of years? And an incarnated Elemental? Interesting...
Yu Mei-ren:
Stop looking at me like that. I have zero interest in testing our skills against one another.
Yu Mei-ren:
Go ahead and stick me with that spear of yours if you want. I won't even bother dodging.
Yu Mei-ren:
It's not like you'd be able to kill me anyway.
Scáthach:
...
Carmilla:
That just leaves our last socialite.
Carmilla:
I've been saving her for last, since she seemed like she'd require some extra time.
Carmilla:
Fortunately for us, she's staying in this very hotel, so let's go pay her a visit right now.
Mash:
I don't hear anyone inside. Maybe she's out right now?
Carmilla:
I doubt it. She's most likely just fast asleep.
Carmilla:
You might say this particular socialite has just come back from another hard fought battle.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Really? That sounds pretty hardcore. I wonder what kinda badass she is?
???:
Ugh, NOW what? Just when I was finally topping off in my nice futon after turning in my draft!
Osakabehime:
(Yawwwn...) Oh, Ma-chan! What's up?
Fujimaru 1:
...You did say “socialite,” right?
Carmilla:
Of course I did. She can be a nerd, or strange gamer in this case, she is still a princess...of sorts. Besides, her skills are essential to my plan.
Osakabehime:
Hm? What're you talking about? So you know, I still haven't recovered from my battle against my deadline.
Mash:
I'm sorry we interrupted your relaxation time. Though, since you were relaxing, does that mean you finished?
Osakabehime:
Hehe, it sure does. The whole area seems brighter now. I feel like there's nothing I couldn't do...
Carmilla:
Then you should have no trouble reading this!
Osakabehime:
What was that!? Did you just throw that card into the wall!? Poggers! There's not a chunibyou out there who wouldn't love to pull that off!
Osakabehime:
So you want my help with a heist, huh?
Osakabehime:
Sure, I can do that. I've got time to spare now that I'm finally free of my draft, and it might give me some ideas for a future book.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Now you're talkin'! It's true, we painters gotta go wherever our curiosity takes us.
Osakabehime:
Oh, but would you mind helping me out first?
Osakabehime:
My back's stiff as a board after spending all day in my futon, so I could really use a warm-up round!
--BATTLE--
Carmilla:
Good, that takes care of our team. Now, we need to go over the plan. But first...
Carmilla:
...there's a little errand I'd like you to run for me.
Carmilla:
I want you to go to the room written on that card, and bring me back some things we'll need for the plan.
Katsushika Hokusai:
You could at least tell us the room number yourself...
Carmilla:
I could, but I have my own preparations to attend to. Go on then, little [♂ boy /♀ girl].
Osakabehime:
So we just gotta stop by this room? Okay, no problem. I wonder what this thing we need could be?
Osakabehime:
Maybe it's...matching leotards?
Mash:
I-I, um, certainly hope not...
Vlad III:
...What do you want?
Mash:
W-well, um, we were asked to pick something up here, so...
Vlad III:
Ah, those. Yes, they are ready. They were easy enough to make, but fulfilling nonetheless.
Vlad III:
But in the future, you would do well to think twice before making an order on such short notice. One cannot expect high quality with only a day's turnaround.
Vlad III:
Everyone has their own plans. Nobody has a right to a creator's time except the creator.
Mash:
R-right! I'm not quite sure what you're talking about, but I'm very sorry all the same!
Vlad III:
Good. Remember it well. As for the items you seek, you will find them in this cardboard box. Take them.
Fujimaru 1:
Th-thanks, Vlad!
Fujimaru 2:
(They're not very heavy. What could they be?)
Katsushika Hokusai:
So, is that it? Don't we still need to pay ya?
Vlad III:
Do you not recall? I have already been paid in advance.
Vlad III:
...Wait. Are you not the ones who asked me to make these?
Vlad III:
Did you not send me an order on a cardlike document with a delivery date that left no room for sleep?
Mash:
Um, no, that wasn't us. We just came to pick this up for Carmilla...
Vlad III:
...I see. So this was that vampire woman's doing.
Vlad III:
She must wish to avoid seeing me in person. And yet she still requires items such as these?
Vlad III:
What could she be up to...?
Katsushika Hokusai:
You mean you don't know? Well getta load of this! We're puttin' together a band of phantom thieves that'll rival Ishikawa Goemon and Nezumi Kozou Jirokichi themselves!
Mash:
Ah! Hokusai, I think that's technically supposed to be a secret!
Vlad III:
Phantom thieves? Hmm...
Vlad III:
Where did she go so wrong? I only hope the path she is on now can still lead back towards righteousness.
Vlad III:
Well, no matter. Now that you have the items in question, my work here is done.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hm? What was that all about?
Mash:
Vlad is kind of like Carmilla's relative, so he may have some feelings about what she's up to.
Mash:
Anyway...I think this takes care of everything we need.
Mash:
Let's head back to our room and go over the plan with Carmilla!
Second Casino "Farewell My Loving Pyramid"
Yu Mei-ren:
So we're finally talking strategy? Come on then, get to it already.
Carmilla:
I do apologize for the delay.
Carmilla:
Nonetheless, I need you to pay especially close attention, as you truly do play a key part in the plan.
Yu Mei-ren:
Yeah? Then I hope you've got something better than that purple-haired so-called tactician's “blow yourself up near the enemy” go-to.
Carmilla:
...
Yu Mei-ren:
Say something, dammit!
Mash:
N-now, now, let's all just settle down and hear what Carmilla has to say, all right?
Fujimaru 1:
Yeah...this just might work!
Fou:
Fou fou!
Carmilla:
No. We're going to MAKE it work.
Carmilla:
It doesn't matter how tight their security is, or what manner of obstacles lie in our way.
Carmilla:
I'm Mistress C, the great phantom thief. A shadow in the dead of night, I always get what I'm after.
Carmilla:
And now, there's just one last thing to do before we can begin.
Yu Mei-ren:
You mean we're still not done?
Carmilla:
Don't worry, I'll handle this part myself. It's an essential part of any phantom thief's plan.
Carmilla:
I may have gotten in the habit of using these for other things...but now, I think it's about time I use one for its intended purpose.
MEDJED:
All is peaceful now.
All is right with the–
MEDJED:
Huh!?
MEDJED:
What is this...?
“The Eye of Medjed will soon be mine.”
“–Mistress C, Phantom Thief at Large”
MEDJED:
That...insolent...!
Cleopatra:
Uh-oh! What happened, Great MEDJED?
Cleopatra:
...A calling card? Whoever this Mistress C is, she certainly is impertinent.
Cleopatra:
What would you have us do, Great MEDJED?
MEDJED:
Nothing. We would not be who we are if we were to fret over provocations such as this.
MEDJED:
This casino is meant solely for pharaohs and pharaohesque socialites. We cannot lose our composure.
MEDJED:
Besides, our security is already airtight. We even have fail-safes for our fail-safes.
MEDJED:
I can say with complete certainty that no phantom thief can possibly break in here.
Cleopatra:
Well, yes, you're absolutely right about that.
Cleopatra:
All right then, I will keep an eye out for any would-be troublemakers, but otherwise, it will be business as usual.
Cleopatra:
That goes for you too, Scheherazade. Make sure the security guards do their jobs well.
Scheherazade:
Understood...
Carmilla:
Phase One couldn't be simpler. We simply enter the casino like any other customer.
Carmilla:
I highly doubt the higher-ups will be scrutinizing the faces of everyone who comes in, so we shouldn't need more than the barest disguise to get through the entrance.
Osakabehime:
Question! This casino's just for rich socialites, right?
Osakabehime:
Are you sure it's gonna be okay if I'm dressed like this and not in my usual princessly attire?
Carmilla:
That won't be a problem. In this world, swimsuits actually appear to be something of a status symbol.
Carmilla:
As proof, you and your patron goddess all got in without issue while wearing them before, right?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Oh yeah, good point. I wonder why that is?
Carmilla:
Why else?
Carmilla:
Because only a true socialite would think to wear a swimsuit in Las Vegas!
Fujimaru 1:
Well, I'm convinced!
Casino Customer A:
Hm?
Wh-whoa, check them out.
Casino Customer B:
Damn, they're beautiful!
Is there some kind of photo shoot going on today?
Casino Customer C:
(Gulp) They've got such an aura about them I can't even bring myself to chat them up. They must be crazy rich!
Employee:
W-welcome...?
Carmilla:
Good day, little boy, or girl, whatever. We're looking to enjoy ourselves tonight. Have we come to the right place?
Carmilla:
Oh, yes, you require a cover charge for collateral, don't you? Will this do?
Employee:
(She just plunked down that cash like it was nothing! Man, these socialites really do live in a different world...)
Employee:
...Yes, that will do just fine. Please, go on in.
Employee:
(They seem really excited about this. Amazing. They're not even batting an eye at the betting rates...)
Employee:
(Wow, her eyes are ice-cold! You can tell looking down at others comes as naturally to her as breathing!)
Employee:
(Huh. These guys seem surprisingly normal.)
Carmilla:
Good, we made it inside without raising suspicion.
Hehe, so far, so good.
Carmilla:
Now it's time for Phase Two:
“Secure a Route to the Vault”...
Carmilla:
Broadly speaking, there are three major obstacles we need to get past before we can enter the vault.
Carmilla:
The first is the multitude of Medjed security guards.
Mash:
Right. I remember it isn't just the regular employees we have to be wary of, either.
Mash:
There were also a large number of beings that seemed like familiars draped with sheets.
Katsushika Hokusai:
The ones we fought weren't too tough, but there sure were a lot of 'em...
Carmilla:
Given the circumstances, I expect those familiars are most likely “characters” summoned by Scheherazade from her stories.
Carmilla:
Well, I'm sure some of them are probably actual Medjeds...
Carmilla:
...but I doubt there are enough of them to warrant our concern.
Osakabehime:
So, what do we do about them? We're not just gonna go around squishing them one at a time, right?
Carmilla:
Of course not. A true phantom thief always finds a beautiful, elegant solution to her problems.
Carmilla:
According to my calculations, this first step should greatly weaken Scheherazade's stories, if not cause her to outright lose control of them.
Carmilla:
And the key to it is...you.
Yu Mei-ren:
Hey, you.
Scheherazade:
...Yes? Can I help you?
Yu Mei-ren:
I feel sick.
Scheherazade:
Oh my... I'm sorry to hear that. Let's get you to the infirmary before you die...
Yu Mei-ren:
How come no matter where I look, the only thing to see is ghosts, ghosts, and more ghosts?
Yu Mei-ren:
Don't you have any tall, dark, strong, spikey, perfect-from-every-conceivable-angle guys working this place?
Scheherazade:
I'm sorry?
Yu Mei-ren:
Ugh, I feel sick. Really, seriously sick...
Yu Mei-ren:
......
Yu Mei-ren:
Wait. Now that I think about it, this really is just a different take on the whole “blow yourself up” thing, isn't it!?
Carmilla:
(Stick to the plan!)
Yu Mei-ren:
Ugh, fine! It's not like I can do anything else, right!? The only thing you need me to do is blow up, right?
Yu Mei-ren:
Okay then, I will.
Yu Mei-ren:
Eternal Lament!
Scheherazade:
I-I'm going to diiiiiie!
No, wait, she's the one who died!!
Scheherazade:
I didn't even know spontaneous combustion was a real phenomenon... It just goes to show death really can come for anyone at any time!
Scheherazade:
Oh gods... What can I possibly do to avoid such a dreadful fate myself!? (Stagger)
Carmilla:
Hmm, I was hoping the shock would cause her to faint on the spot. Oh well.
Carmilla:
All right. I wanted to do this clean, but let's get closer under the guise of caring for her, then we can put her to sleep ourselves!
--BATTLE--
Yu Mei-ren:
Hahahaha! Yes, that's it! Run away in terror, stupid humans! Death to casinos!!! (Lashing out)
Mash:
It looks like the effect of Scheherazade's Noble Phantasm wore off, since the characters from her stories have disappeared.
Mash:
She must have been putting sheets over her bandits and genies, putting them to work as security guards.
Carmilla:
That takes care of the physical and personnel obstacles.
Carmilla:
We may still have to deal with some sphinxes, but the fact remains that the casino's security detail is now effectively crippled.
Carmilla:
All right, let's take advantage of the confusion and move on to the next phase of the plan.
Carmilla:
The second obstacle is one you already experienced yourselves: the many traps hidden throughout the casino.
Osakabehime:
Those are the same kinds they put in the pyramids to keep looters out, right?
Osakabehime:
I might be a castle monster, but I still don't wanna get cursed.
Carmilla:
Those traps have been placed in every corner of the casino. Needless to say, that includes the area near the vault.
Carmilla:
However, their sheer number is also a clue to their key flaw.
Carmilla:
With so many traps, you would think their customers would get caught in them all the time.
Carmilla:
And yet, that never happens. Why do you think that is?
Katsushika Hokusai:
You already looked into this, right? Just tell us already! Jeez!!!
Carmilla:
Hehe, fair enough. From what I've been able to tell...those traps are linked to the security cameras.
Mash:
Oh, Mer–Er, Mister Mystery mentioned something about that.
Mash:
I think he said all the Medjed decorations also served as security cameras of a sort.
Carmilla:
Right. So we won't have to worry about the traps as long as the security cameras don't think we're a threat.
Carmilla:
And that means...
Carmilla:
Now that things are in disarray, it's time to make use of you-know-what.
Mash:
Yes. The items we got from Vlad.
Mash:
I've got them right here in one of Da Vinci's custom-made spatial compression handbags. Here you go...
I：Katsushika Hokusai:
Aw man, I can't see a thing. Well, I guess I can see one or two things, but it feels like nothin'!
E：Osakabehime:
I wonder if this counts as cosplay...
I：Carmilla:
How about you, little [♂ boy /♀ girl]? Are you ready?
Fujimaru 1:
(It's a little itchy...)
Fujimaru 2:
(This is kind of fun!)
E：Mash:
It looks great on you, Senpai!
I：Carmilla:
I knew I made the right choice asking him. He's very good with his hands.
I：Carmilla:
Anyway, now the other people here can't easily identify us.
I：Carmilla:
But of course, our cover will be blown once things calm down, so we need to slip past now.
E：Osakabehime:
Guess that means it's my turn then, huh? Yosh, I got this!
E：Osakabehime:
Thousand Origami of Hakuro, Milli-Mili Night Fever!
I：Mash:
It's working! Osakabehime's origami soldiers are sneaking into the other Medjed sheets Vlad made for us...
E：Osakabehime:
Ooh, while I'm at it, I'll reuse the sheets Scheherazade's stories were using too. Ike ikeee!
E：Katsushika Hokusai:
Hehe, our decoy plan's workin' great! Way ta go!
I：Osakabehime:
P-please stop slapping me on the back? This takes a lot of concentration!
Scáthach:
I see. Just like a forest is the best place to hide a tree, the best place to hide Medjeds is among other Medjeds.
Scáthach:
This should indeed help you lot remain undetected.
E：Carmilla:
Indeed. But we still have one last major obstacle to get past. And for that...
Carmilla:
Finally, there's the third major obstacle...this!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Lemme see...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Huh? This just says “Cleopatra”!
Carmilla:
Yes, it does. It's always the simplest walls that prove the most obstructive...
Carmilla:
Cleopatra tends to stay right in front of the vault's entrance.
Carmilla:
We need to get her away from that spot...
Carmilla:
...or we'll never make it to the jewel.
Mash:
I see... What about Nito–I mean, MEDJED? Don't we need to watch out for her as well?
Carmilla:
No, MEDJED never leaves the VIP area except for matters of utmost importance. You were unusually lucky to have met her on your first visit.
Carmilla:
At any rate, we will be racing against the clock regardless, so if all goes well...
Carmilla:
...we'll be in and out before she's even had a chance to notice anything is wrong.
Carmilla:
Which brings me to the last part of the plan.
Carmilla:
Your job will be to draw Cleopatra away from the vault, and to keep her attention focused elsewhere...
Scáthach:
I have come to challenge you!
Cleopatra:
What the!? What's going on out here!?
Cleopatra:
All the customers are running around screaming about meat chunks...
Cleopatra:
...and all the Medjed-style security guards are floating about seemingly without a care in the world!
Scáthach:
Never mind all that.
Scáthach:
I am here to challenge you to a gambling match, one socialite to another.
Scáthach:
I am told you are this casino's assistant manager. Thus, you would surely never run from a challenge, would you?
Cleopatra:
Oh? And just what sort of gambling match did you have in mind, Queen of the Land of Shadows?
Scáthach:
What else? The perfect contest for socialites like you and I.
Scáthach:
I speak, of course, of...
Scáthach:
“Which of Us is Stronger!?”
Fujimaru 1:
(Is that really a contest for socialites?)
Fujimaru 2:
(Sounds a lot like her usual hand-to-hand combat.)
Cleopatra:
What in the world are you saying? How could a contest like that have anything to do with gambling?
Scáthach:
Hear me out. This contest would not only involve fighting, but another element as well; one especially fitting for a stage such as this.
Scáthach:
This element is one even I cannot escape, and one that holds great significance for you.
Scáthach:
That is to say...beauty.
Cleopatra:
Beauty!?
Scáthach:
I am challenging you to a contest in the center of a casino, all while wearing a swimsuit. If I cannot defeat you in beauty, then I cannot defeat you at all.
Scáthach:
While I may be confident in my chances, my victory is certainly not a foregone conclusion.
Scáthach:
Yes, this should be a most interesting challenge. In some ways, it is not unlike fighting while surrounded by an electrified fence.
Scáthach:
At any rate, given its unusual fighting conditions, it qualifies as a gambling match. I think.
F：Customer A:
Whoa, this sounds awesome! I'm going all in on the bikini babe! What I wouldn't give for her to step on me!
G：Customer B:
What are you, stupid? There's no way she can beat Queen Cleopatra! I'm putting five...no, ten large on Cleo!
Bookie:
Right this way, sirs! Easy there, no need to shove! At the current rates, I can offer fifty-fifty odds!
Cleopatra:
Oho... So you wish to challenge me to a battle of strength AND beauty? You certainly are fearless.
Cleopatra:
However, unlike you, I have no doubts about this battle's outcome. I am already certain I would win easily.
Cleopatra:
Why should I accept your challenge?
Scáthach:
Oh? Then you don't need to show what you are capable of?
Scáthach:
And here I thought there was someone special to whom you wished to prove your beauty was unrivaled.
Cleopatra:
(Gasp) You don't mean–!?
Cleopatra:
Is Lord Caesar here!?
Cleopatra:
He's certainly enough of a high roller that he wouldn't be out of place here...
Cleopatra:
And, if he is here...
Cleopatra:
...I can't let him see me backing down from a challenge, even one I'm utterly sure to win...
Cleopatra:
That's right! I must never stop proving to him that I am the most beautiful woman in the world, and by extension, that he was right to choose me!
Cleopatra:
Very well! You're on! Hyah!
Scáthach:
Heh. That's more like it!
Fujimaru 1:
I don't suppose you actually did call Caesar here, did you?
I：Carmilla:
Hehe, it doesn't matter if I did or not. All that matters is whether she thinks he might be here.
I：Carmilla:
But more importantly, the plan to lure Cleopatra away from the vault worked. Come, now's our chance!
--BATTLE--
E：Carmilla:
There, it's open. Now's our chance.
J：Katsushika Hokusai:
Huh, you're an old hand at this, ain't ya?
Fujimaru 1:
I see you're just using good old-fashioned lockpicking skills here.
Fujimaru 2:
Wow, you really do know what you're doing...
E：Carmilla:
That's because I'm a genuine phantom thief, of course.
Trust me, little [♂ boy /♀ girl], this isn't as easy as I make it look.
E：Carmilla:
To be a phantom thief, you need the right skills and the right equipment.
E：Carmilla:
It wasn't easy getting ahold of this lockpicking set and learning how to use it.
J：Mash:
That makes sense. You certainly did make it look easy, but I noticed you had to crack a magecraft lock at the same time you cracked the physical one.
J：Mash:
That set must be much more advanced than it looks.
J：Mash:
The only people I know of who could make something like that are Da Vinci and a certain criminal math professor...
E：Carmilla:
Ho ho ho. Mistress C's seven thieving tools hide many secrets. One is how I acquired them to begin with.
E：Carmilla:
At any rate, that's enough idle chatter. Come, we're going in.
E：Carmilla:
All right, I think we can drop these disguises now.
Osakabehime:
Whoa! When did you change into that outfit!? That is some truly epic gear!
Carmilla:
Hehe, this is Mistress C's formal dress. I just don't feel right stealing priceless treasure without it.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Speakin' of treasure... Ooh! That must be it!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hehe, I don't usually approve of stealing, but if we're just returnin' it to its rightful owner, that's being a good samaritan.
Katsushika Hokusai:
All right, let's just grab it and–
Carmilla:
Wait!
Fujimaru 1:
What was that? It sounded like dogs barking!
Carmilla:
Oh, that would be Spielsdorf and Rheinfeldt here.
Mash:
Are those...mechanical dogs?
Carmilla:
Think of them as familiars of a sort. Fitting for one so glamorous as me, no?
Fujimaru 1:
(If you say so...)
Fujimaru 2:
(Glamorous? Maybe? Fitting for a supervillain? Definitely.)
Carmilla:
At any rate, their sensors are picking up something odd. Take a look.
Osakabehime:
Whoa, what? How'd the card get cut in half!?
Carmilla:
Damn... It figures there would be something in here I couldn't have anticipated. Their security is even tighter than I thought.
Carmilla:
They've got high-powered defense lasers surrounding the jewel, and pressure sensors on the floor all around its pedestal. That means even one misstep will end us all.
Fujimaru 1:
I-is there a way to get past them?
Carmilla:
Yes, but it's going to take some time.
Carmilla:
And unfortunately, we don't have time to spare, as there's no telling when Cleopatra or MEDJED might show up...
Miyamoto Iori:
Hey guys! Good to be back! How're things going here?
Fujimaru 1:
Musa–Uh, Iori!
Fujimaru 2:
You picked a hell of a time to come back!
Miyamoto Iori:
Well, you know, I was getting pretty tired of trying to get away from the security guards, so I slipped back into the casino, and I've been hiding out here ever since!
Miyamoto Iori:
Like they say, sometimes the best way to hide is in plain sight!
Miyamoto Iori:
Luckily, I happened to see you guys coming in here, and the rest is history.
Mash:
I knew you were a skilled swordfighter, but I didn't know you were something of a ninja too... Anyway, I'm glad you're safe.
Mash:
It's a long story as to how we got here, but essentially, we're trying to get ahold of that jewel there.
Miyamoto Iori:
Hmm, I see, I see. Invisible blades, and a floor you can't step on, huh?
Miyamoto Iori:
Well, that's perfect! Your swordmaster can handle this easy-peasy!
Fujimaru 1:
Uh...
Miyamoto Iori:
What?
Miyamoto Iori:
...Ohhh, gotcha. I guess Hokusai's not quite at that level yet, huh?
Miyamoto Iori:
A real swordmaster keeps their mind as clear as a polished mirror, so they don't have any trouble handling even the toughest predicament...
Miyamoto Iori:
...they could just cut through the lasers or will themselves to be lighter or something, but I guess Hokusai isn't quite there yet.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Oh...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Oh yeah!? I'll show you, missy!
Katsushika Hokusai:
No Edoite worth their salt would take an insult like that lyin' down!
Carmilla:
Stop! What do you think you're doing!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hraaah! Who cares about lasers! If one sword won't do the trick, I'll just use all four!
Katsushika Hokusai:
As for the floor... I gotcha. All I gotta do's take a page from Toto-sama's playbook and slip around like he does!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I call it...Octo-Walking!
Fujimaru 1:
Whoa! She's actually pulling it off!
Miyamoto Iori:
She sure is, partner! Sometimes, instead of hemming and hawing, you just gotta jump in with both feet and see what happens! Yeehaw!
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Gasp, gasp...) There, I got it...
Miyamoto Iori:
Way to go, Hokusai! You're really getting the hang of that four sword style!
Carmilla:
So this is the Eye of Medjed...
Magnificent.
Carmilla:
It's just as dazzlingly blue as the eyes of that girl I once met. I feel like I could lose myself in it.
Carmilla:
And its gleam... It's as vivid and vibrant as freshly spilled intestines...
Fujimaru 1:
Oookay, that's enough analogies!
Ishtar:
I'm here!
Did you get it? You did? Yesss!
Ishtar:
There you are, my precious jewel! Ahh, how I've missed that beautiful shine of yours...
Ishtar:
It's just like that dream I had when I lost consciousness after falling off Maanna in the hallway...
Ishtar:
It really is the perfect seventh colored gem to fill out the crown on the figurehead of Maanna...
Ishtar:
I'll never lose you again, I promise... In fact, you're just what I need to power myself up...
Ishtar:
Oops! Pretend I didn't say that. Talking too much about your goals before you accomplish them is a good way to make sure you never will, after all.
Fou:
Fou fo fo fo.
(Special Translation: You can say that again.)
Ishtar:
Anyhoo, here's the letter of challenge I promised you. As for the money, I'll wire it to a Swiss bank account for safekeeping.
Ishtar:
Well, see you later!
Mash:
She certainly showed up here sooner than I expected. She must have really wanted that jewel back badly...
Mash:
Anyway, this is great! We finally have the letter of challenge we need!
Carmilla:
And assuming that goddess is as good as her word, that leaves me a good deal richer now than I already was before.
Carmilla:
It's a shame I didn't get more time to admire my plunder a bit more, but, easy come, easy go.
Osakabehime:
You know, I've been meaning to ask you about this for a while now: Why'd you decide to become a phantom thief in the first place, Carmilla?
Osakabehime:
Since you gave up the jewel in favor of money without a second thought...
Osakabehime:
...is there something you're saving up for or what?
Carmilla:
That...
Carmilla:
...is my little secret. Every fine woman has her share of secrets, after all.
Osakabehime:
Aww, you're no fun.
Osakabehime:
Still, I really admire the whole woman of mystery thing you've got going for you right now. It suits you way better than your usual thing.
Osakabehime:
I'll have to try taking a page from your book myself sometime.
Mash:
Well, we'd better regroup so we're ready to challenge MEDJED to a Swimsuit Swordmaster duel.
Mash:
How about you, Carmilla? What are you going to do now?
Carmilla:
Once a phantom thief's work is done, they don't stick around for long...even if it means leaving the object of her affection behind.
Carmilla:
We're like a fleeting mirage that disappears the moment you turn away... Or a message written on a mirror in lipstick...
Carmilla:
And on that note, I'd best be on my way. I'll admit...
I enjoyed doing this job with all of you.
Mash:
I see. We're going to miss you, but I think I speak for everyone when I say we understand. Good luck, and thank you!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Okay! Now that we've got the letter of challenge, I can finally have my rematch with the baldy lady!
--ARROW--
MEDJED:
This is outrageous. I can scarcely believe you would steal the Eye of Medjed.
MEDJED:
This disrespect–this act of insolence–is as bad as raiding a pharaoh's tomb! How dare you!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hehe, sorry 'bout that. Let's just say we had our reasons. Like how it was the only way I could get the letter of challenge I needed to fight ya.
Katsushika Hokusai:
'Sides, from what I hear, it was never yours in the first place, huh?
MEDJED:
You know not of what you speak. Before we do battle, you must be punished for your crimes.
MEDJED:
Come forth! Come forth, my pyramid guardians!
Fujimaru 1:
Wh-why's everything shaking!?
Mash:
Senpai, look! Something's coming up from the ground!
MEDJED:
Behold.
MEDJED:
These are the three guardian statues I summoned to guard my casino.
MEDJED:
Hear me, my guardians! Use your great power to punish these insolent pyramid robbers for their crimes!
Lazy God Statue:
Hmm. That crawl space in the pyramid was pretty relaxing...
Lazy God Statue:
And the ultrafancy potato chips I got for offerings (more please) were pretty good too... Very well, I suppose I should pay you back.
Ivan the Terrible:
I have been summoned once again, this time to deliver the punishment that those who would defy nobility so richly deserve.
Darius III:
Iskandaaar!
Fujimaru 1:
They're all elephants!
MEDJED:
We have all seen enough sphinxes, so I thought I would “mix it up.”
Katsushika Hokusai:
Damn, they got us surrounded! Looks like we'll hafta do somethin' 'bout these three first!
G：???:
So this is where I find you; watching the show unfold from on high with but a glass of wine for company.
Carmilla:
...This is my own special seat. You could at least pretend you asked permission to join me.
Vlad III:
The night sky belongs to no one, with the possible exception of royalty.
Carmilla:
What do you want? I already paid you for your handiwork.
Vlad III:
That is nonsense, and you know it. I came all this way here of my own accord because your payment was insufficient. You should be honored I would make such an effort.
Vlad III:
Your reason for doing this should suffice to make up the difference. So tell me...why are you doing this?
Carmilla:
......
Carmilla:
Don't bother playing dumb. Knowing you and your poor taste in pastimes, I'm sure you already have your suspicions.
Vlad III:
Hmph, I see. So this stems from your rivalry with your dragon girl self.
Vlad III:
You have taken on the farcical role of phantom thief...
Vlad III:
...in order to acquire the one thing she possesses that you do not.
Carmilla:
Go on then, tell me what that thing is. If you're right, little boy, I'll give you a reward.
Vlad III:
Haha, spoken like a vampire with no regard for her life. But I suppose that manner of conduct suits this city well.
Vlad III:
Very well then... It is a castle. Am I correct?
Carmilla:
...Well? What are you waiting for? Go on, laugh at me.
Vlad III:
Your means may be boorish at best, and your ends may be shallow and insignificant...but I will not laugh.
Vlad III:
For regardless of what you seek, you seek it out of your pride as a ruler.
Vlad III:
Well now. Why did you throw your glass at me? I hardly realized I caught it.
Carmilla:
To shut you up, obviously.
Carmilla:
But I suppose that cocktail alone won't be enough to keep you quiet until morning.
Carmilla:
All right, you win. You can have this seat.
Vlad III:
Then allow me to give you just one word of warning.
Vlad III:
A true castle cannot be bought with money alone. It also requires subjects to rule.
Vlad III:
A castle with only a lord is a castle in name only. In that sense, you and the dragon girl are the same.
Vlad III:
As long as you ignore that, it's still a long way until you get what you truly desire.
Carmilla:
......(Sigh) Oh, all right.
Carmilla:
But don't misunderstand. I'm not doing this because of anything you said.
Carmilla:
I am doing this because I forgot to steal something earlier.
Osakabehime:
N-now what?
Osakabehime:
I just kinda came along for the hell of it! I don't wanna end up a hime pancake!
Fujimaru 1:
That engine roar...!
Fujimaru 2:
This calling card...!
Mash:
Aah! Senpai, look! Over there!
Mash:
Th-there's a red sports car driving up the pyramid!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Whoa! It just drove right off it, and now it's...
headed straight for us!?
Ivan the Terrible:
Not even a tsar is immune to being run over! This is why traffic regulations are so important!
Carmilla:
You look like you could use some help again, little [♂ boy /♀ girl].
Mash:
What are you doing back here, Carmilla!?
Carmilla:
Oh, I just remembered there was one more thing I meant to steal.
Carmilla:
The sort of thing any true phantom thief could not help but steal, even without meaning to, and would deeply regret if they failed to do so.
Fujimaru 1:
(It's hard to tell behind that mask, but...I think she's looking at me?)
Carmilla:
Besides, you're going to try your hand at the other casinos once you've finished with this one, no?
Carmilla:
If I stay with you, I should have more prime phantom thief opportunities. So I'm here to put you in my debt yet again.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hehe, long as this means you'll handle the big guys here, that's all fine with me!
Katsushika Hokusai:
'Cause that means I can finally get the duel I've been waitin' for!
MEDJED:
Foolish girl. None can escape the wrath of the gods.
MEDJED:
Even if you avoid the guardian statues, you will still be judged by mine own hands.
MEDJED:
I am there when you gaze up at the heavens. I am there when you place your heart upon the scales of justice.
MEDJED:
I am there in the Nile's endless bounty. I am there in every grain of sand across the indomitable desert.
MEDJED:
I am MEDJED! I am the steward of the pyramids and the pharaohs alike!
MEDJED:
Come then, tell me your name!
Katsushika Hokusai:
You want my name, god lady? You got it!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Me 'n the octopus here were both born and raised in Edo, in the Ryougoku district of the Honjo ward!
Katsushika Hokusai:
My given name's Oei, my pen name's Oui, and I'm currently tryin' ta make a name for myself as Swimsuit Swordmaster Katsushika Hokusai.
Katsushika Hokusai:
One day, I'll be an unparalleled master swordsman, eventually achievin' my goal of becomin' a great fairy with infinite varieties to her form.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Now, I'm gonna show ya that all my talent with the brush only makes me more formidable with the sword!
Katsushika Hokusai:
C'mon then! Let's have a good, clean fight!
Katsushika Hokusai & MEDJED:
Bring it!
--BATTLE--
Nitocris:
Nnn... Hm?
Scheherazade:
Are you awake now?
Nitocris:
Oh. Hi, Scheherazade...
Nitocris:
Umm...my recent memories are a little hazy. Do you know what I've been doing up till now?
Scheherazade:
Oh good, it looks like your Divinity's rampage has finally stopped. I'm so glad.
Cleopatra:
Good morning, Great MEDJED...
I mean, Pharaoh Nitocris.
Nitocris:
You're here too, Pharaoh Cleopatra? What happened?
Cleopatra:
Well, after I was talked into a gambling match I should never have accepted...
Cleopatra:
...I was so distracted wondering if Lord Caesar was watching me or not that the match ended in a draw...
Cleopatra:
And to top it all off, I'm still worried about whether he was even there in the first place!
Nitocris:
...?
Scheherazade:
Allow me to tell you a short story that should explain how we got here...
Scheherazade:
...The end.
Scheherazade:
Fujimaru's group is long gone by now, of course.
Nitocris:
Hmm. I see.
Nitocris:
So being appointed a Swimsuit Swordmaster caused me to forget who I really was...
Nitocris:
I can't believe I let that happen!
Nitocris:
Let me see... Oh no. My eyes really were clouded. This won't do at all.
Nitocris:
I really am a failure of a pharaoh.
Nitocris:
This casino is nothing like the true pyramids Pharaoh Ozymandias would build.
Nitocris:
It's nothing but a pale imitation! Besides, no true pyramid would ever desecrate itself as a casino in the first place!
Cleopatra:
!!!
Cleopatra:
Now that you mention it...!
Cleopatra:
You managed this casino with such beauty and confidence that I had been turning a blind eye to my doubts, but you're absolutely right!
Cleopatra:
What shall we do then? Should we destroy this casino for the crime of impersonation–er, impyramidization?
Nitocris:
...No, there is no need for that.
Nitocris:
Even if Pharaoh Ozymandias did not build this pyramid himself, it does still resemble one.
Nitocris:
So I think I have an obligation to make it into a true pyramid; one he would be proud of.
Nitocris:
Besides, it would be cruel to snatch it away from the customers who have come to enjoy it.
Nitocris:
Yes, I've decided. My new task as a pharaoh...
Nitocris:
...is to make this place into both a proper pyramid and a proper casino!
Nitocris:
I remember Pharaoh Ozymandias once told me that pyramids harbor unlimited possibilities.
Nitocris:
So I will trust in his words and do everything to bring it in line with the ideals of a true pharaoh like him!
Nitocris:
I, um... You probably don't have a lot of faith in me to do that now, since I lost control of myself so easily...
Nitocris:
...but would you two possibly be willing to stay and help me?
Ozymandias:
Fuhahaha! Right you are, Pharaoh Nitocris!
Ozymandias:
Every pyramid other than those I built myself are but the common masses' futile attempts to imitate my greatness.
Ozymandias:
It is not even worth my time to decry them as fake!
Ozymandias:
So as one who knows what a pyramid is meant to be, to guide these imitations closer to their proper form is the mark of a true pharaoh!
Vlad III:
You could at least feign to ask permission to join me here at my special seat, ancient pharaoh.
Vlad III:
That aside...this was quite the interesting show.
Vlad III:
Hehe, phantom thief, huh? I wonder where your path will lead you.
Vlad III:
Will you inevitably revert to the countess of blood, or will you gain a new persona when all is said and done?
Vlad III:
Whatever happens, I will continue to observe from my seat up here...
Carmilla:
So yes, I will be sticking around and helping you all out at least a while longer.
Carmilla:
I look forward to seeing what sort of treasures you'll lead me to next. In fact, I can already think of one thing I would love to steal. Hehehe...
Fujimaru 1:
(Okay, she's definitely looking at me...)
Mash:
I don't know what else you plan on stealing, but I get the feeling I need to keep it safe at all costs...
Fuuma Kotarou:
There could be a lot of espionage related overlap between a phantom thief and a ninja. I'll have to do my best to continue to prove my worth to Master...
Siegfried:
It took many hours of mining gemstones in a cave out in the wasteland, but that goddess finally let me go.
Siegfried:
I'm sorry I wasn't able to help you during this battle...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ah, don't worry 'bout it! The important thing's that we brought down that swordmaster!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Now c'mon! We got another casino ta check out!
Miyamoto Iori:
Yeehaw, just what I like to hear! Come on, guys! Let's keep this momentum going!
Third Casino "Suiten Palace Invidia Serpens"
Miyamoto Iori:
Your swordmanship has really come together now that you've done three of these, Hokusai!
Miyamoto Iori:
Like they say, experience is the best teacher! All the more so if you're experiencing a battle against a skilled opponent! At this rate, you'll be the Swimsuit Swordmaster you've always dreamed of in no–
Miyamoto Iori:
Oh, hang on, I just got a text. Let's see...
“Come pick up your damn sword steel already.”
Miyamoto Iori:
Oh, right! I forgot all about that thing I asked Grandpa to take care of!
Miyamoto Iori:
Sorry, Fujimaru! Looks like I'll have to sit this one out!
Fujimaru 1:
Wha? Hey!
Fujimaru 2:
Where are you going, Iori!?
Miyamoto Iori:
Don't worry, you'll be fine! Especially now that you've got more allies helping you out!
Miyamoto Iori:
Give 'em hell, Hokusai! I'll be back before the next casino!
Mash:
...So that's why Iori won't be joining us for this one...
Mash:
Anyway, our coffers have plenty to spare now thanks to all your help, so we can head out to the next casino whenever we like.
Mash:
Of the three casinos remaining, I think we would have the best luck by tackling Suiten Palace next.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ooh, ya mean the water palace? I've been really curious 'bout that one!
Katsushika Hokusai:
That's where they do that figure skatin' stuff every day, right?
Katsushika Hokusai:
They say customers love it, and even the harshest critics clam up after taking a look at it!
Katsushika Hokusai:
“Experience unique beauty like never before”... Enemy or not, 's a pretty okay slogan.
Siegfried:
Indeed. At any rate, it seems this is more of an event venue than casino, which is why we need tickets to get in.
Carmilla:
Unfortunately, those tickets are already sold out for the next six months.
Carmilla:
Though of course, there are ways of getting them from someone who already has them.
Carmilla:
We could go to the line to get in, and I could slip them out of the nearest gentleman's pocket while distracting him with sweet talk...
Carmilla:
Or, we could swallow our pride and pay through the nose at a legal, yet still morally questionable venue...
Osakabehime:
Uh-uh! No stealing, and no side channels!
Osakabehime:
As a woman of culture, I refuse to support scalpers in any way, shape, or form!
Osakabehime:
Besides, Suiten Palace's entrance security is cutting-edge, so I'm pretty sure it won't let in anyone who's not the original ticket buyer anyway.
Osakabehime:
Given how much of a neat freak the owner is, I wouldn't put it past her for a second.
Fujimaru 1:
So then...I guess we hope someone cancels at the last minute?
Mash:
I don't know. Even in the best case scenario, I don't think we could hope for more than one or two tickets that way...
Fujimaru 2:
What if we, you know...sneak in a side entrance or something?
Fuuma Kotarou:
I can't recommend that course of action, Master.
Suiten Palace's security really is perfect.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I looked into it myself last night, and I'm certain that not even an ant could sneak in undetected.
Fuuma Kotarou:
You even have to be an authorized casino worker just to go through the rear or service entrances.
???:
How fortunate for you that I happened to overhear your conversation!
???:
So you wish to take in the show at Suiten Palace's stage? Then this is undoubtedly my time to shine!
???:
Yes, it is I! The great rose of the floating city! The emperor in the crimson swimsuit!
???:
Rejoice, for Nero Claudius herself has come to join you in leisure and entertainment!
Mash:
Emperor Nero!? Wh-what are you doing here?
Nero:
Well, the Gildalay is the only hotel in all of Dazzling Las Vegas that includes a pool among its amenities.
Nero:
At first, I thought there would be no greater luxury than swimming in a pool in the middle of a desert...
Nero:
...but I grew bored after splashing around in it for an hour or so.
Nero:
So then I thought about calling on the fox-girl Caster and inviting her to accompany me to the Grand Canyon...
Nero:
...when I happened to sense a most entertaining topic being discussed in the room next to mine, and decided to join the festivities without wasting any time knocking.
Nero:
Oh, do not worry about the door; I will have it repaired later. In fact, I will even replace it with one that is new and stylish.
Nero:
At any rate, you were just discussing how to go about attacking Suiten Palace, were you not?
Nero:
I was thinking there is something wicked about that casino myself! Go ahead! Feel free to add me to your party!
Mash:
I'm so glad you know someone who can help us, Emperor Nero. So you're sure this store is still selling tickets?
Nero:
Umu! Vegas's main street is home to all manner of brand-name shops.
Nero:
I know for a fact that one of them is backing Suiten Palace, and is willing to let some tickets go to their regulars.
Siegfried:
And lucky for us, you're one of them. This is certainly a big help...though I am surprised that only the five of us are going here.
Nero:
Umu. I am disappointed about that myself.
Nero:
I was greatly looking forward to dressing you, Fujimaru, and Evil-wind Kotarou in fancy brand-name goods...
Nero:
...and taking a gorgeous photo to memorialize the occasion. But, unfortunately...
Nero:
I was greatly looking forward to myself, Fujimaru, Mash, Carmilla, Osakabehime, and Hokusai all dressing up...
Nero:
...and holding the most glamorous girl talk session ever in the break room. But, unfortunately...
Carmilla:
No thank you. I prefer not to go out when the sun is this strong.
Osakabehime:
No way! If a vendor at a shop like that so much as noticed me, I'd die on the spot!
Fuuma Kotarou:
I don't think I'm up to it either, so...I'll just stick to keeping an eye on Master from the shadows...
Osakabehime:
See? Kotarou gets it. He's a gloomy type, just like I am!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Well, I don't get it. Who wouldn't wanna get a gander at one of the fanciest kimono shops in all of Vegas?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I know seeing a true artisan's handiwork always gets my blood pumpin'. Doesn't matter what country they're from.
Katsushika Hokusai:
See what I mean, Master? Check out the detail on those geta! They dyed the tortoiseshell a brilliant blue, and they even added mother-of-pearl on the heels!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Man oh man, talk about chic. I can't get enough of beautiful stuff like this. It feels like my cheeks are gonna fall off from smilin' so much.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Man, just once, I'd love ta dress up in somethin' gorgeous and feminine like that...
Fujimaru 1:
I can buy them for you if you want.
Fujimaru 2:
Want to go inside and take a closer look?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Q-quit teasin' me! I ain't interested in 'em even a little!
Katsushika Hokusai:
B-besides, it'd be a waste of good money and geta for me to wear 'em!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Why'd ya even say that? Couldn't ya wait till it was night before gettin' drun–
Fou:
Fooou?
Siegfried:
Hm? There certainly are a lot of people in front of the store. And they seem...agitated about something.
Siegfried:
I'm not sure we'll be able to get inside with that many people crowded around the entrance...
Nero:
Umu, something out of the ordinary must have happened. I have never seen the store so crowded before.
Customer A:
Eee! It really is Mistress Lambda! I can't believe I'd ever get to see her offstage!
Customer B:
Her hair flowing like water... Her ice-cold eyes... Her body, flat as sea's horizon...! Ooh, she's so dainty!
Customer C:
I want to see her gorgeous face! And her legs! Really, I wish she'd just take off that ridiculous parka already!
Customer D:
Rumor has it she's SO hot that just watching her perform will make you drop five kilos!
Customer D:
Ahh, why did her show have to be sold out? Why can't she perform at least twice a day!?
Mash:
It looks like they aren't here to shop so much as they are to see someone famous... Huh?
Security Guard 1:
(Kshh) This is Jasom. Mistress Lambda is about to leave. Make sure the route back to the casino is secure.
Security Guard 1:
There are mostly female fans today, and Mistress Lambda has made it clear that we're not to be rough with them. Over.
Security Guard 2:
(Kshh) This is Bay-Bay. Copy that. Calling off Anti-Fan drones now.
Security Guard 2:
Sending a car over to 114 Strip Avenue now. I want it there in two minutes. Over.
Customers A to Z:
Aah! Please don't go, Mistress Lambda! Please, can we have your autograph!? Just one little autograph!?
???:
Sorry, I don't do autographs.
Security Guard 1:
... (Wordlessly pushing back fans to make a path)
Katsushika Hokusai:
Aha, so that's what all the fuss is about. Well, it ain't any of our business...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Wait, hold on. Did they say “Lamb-duh”?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Rumor has it she's the one who owns Suiten Palace!
Hey, Lamb-duh, hold up! I wanna talk to ya!
Security Guard 1:
(Kshh) Emergency, emergency. An angry mob is making their way towards Mistress Lambda. Moving to intercept with extreme prejudice. Over.
Security Guard 2:
(Kshh) Copy that. Sending drones on standby to reinforce your position. Over.
Siegfried:
That engine sound cutting through the air...! Look out! We've got some familiar looking enemies headed our way!
--BATTLE--
Security Guard 1:
(Kshh) Damn, these are the toughest fans I've ever seen! I need more backup! Requesting Titan-class security now! Over!
G：Security Guard 2:
(Kshh) Copy that. She's on break now that her show is over. Sending her your way now. Make sure you crush them! Over!
???:
Stop that. What were you thinking, fighting my fans in the street? Are you trying to blow up my mentions?
Security Guard 1:
B-but Mistress Lambda–
???:
Worthless piece of mercenary trash. Didn't I tell you to take a softer, smarter approach with these things?
???:
Or have you forgotten how fortunate you are to be permitted to serve me?
???:
Maybe it's time I break you in all over again. I'm sure I can think of something that will really teach you a lesson.
Security Guard 1:
...
(Blood draining from his face)
Siegfried:
I may not excel at reading people, but even I can tell that that woman is a dyed-in-the-wool sadist!
???:
Oh? Any other brilliant observations you want to share with us, Captain Obvious? What would a bunch of ignorant hicks know about me and my–
Fujimaru 1:
Hiya.
Fujimaru 2:
How's it going?
???:
...
???:
......
???:
......
???:
Well aren't you a sorry looking bunch.
Have we met?
Fujimaru 1:
We sure have.
???:
If you say so. At any rate, don't talk to me like you know me. I'm a big goddamn deal around here.
Fujimaru 2:
I like your penguin parka.
???:
Penguin!? What's the matter with you? Are you blind or something?
???:
This is obviously Leviathan. But I guess you wouldn't know that if you've never seen the real one.
???:
...Hmph. Anyway, sorry about my security guard's rudeness.
???:
Jasom, give them two couples' tickets to the Suiten Palace.
???:
You wanted to see my skating performance there, right? Here, take these in apology for my guards' behavior.
???:
Hell, I'll even let you sit right by the stage. Doesn't make any difference to me.
Fujimaru 1:
Congratulations on your big figure skating debut.
???:
...Thanks. It's just a little side hobby.
Fujimaru 2:
Is it okay if we send flowers to your dressing room?
???:
Fine. Make them amaryllises then. I want a bouquet of vivid purple flowers so big I could swim in it.
Mash:
I'm still reeling from the shock of seeing you two converse so casually after you only just met, but never mind that.
Mash:
Thank you for the tickets. That's very generous of you.
Mash:
If you don't mind my asking, is it true you're the owner of the Suiten Palace casino, and one of the Swimsuit Swordmasters?
F：???:
Yes, I am. You must have only just arrived here in Vegas, so I'll make a special exception and fill you in myself.
F：???:
My name is Lambdaryllis. I own the Suiten Palace casino, and I'm the biggest star in all of Vegas.
F：Lambda:
I'm easily the most beautiful of all the Swimsuit Swordmasters, and a goddess who brought not just a glass of ice water, but an entire ocean to this hellish desert.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Wha...!? You're a goddess AND a Swimsuit Swordmaster!? Isn't that overstackin' the deck!?
Siegfried:
(I do sense Divinity in her...but it seems more dragon-like than anything else...)
Katsushika Hokusai:
Oh, crap, I almost forgot. Now that you've introduced yourself, it's only polite to return the favor.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'm Katsushika Hokusai, an artist turned buddin' swordfighter who's aimin' straight for the top.
Nero:
(A budding swordfighter!? I do not like how much overlap there is with my own favored turn of phrase, but oh well!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
This must be my lucky day, runnin' into my fourth major adversary here an' now! C'mon then, let's have a good, clean fight!
Lambda:
Aha, so you're the new Swimsuit Swordmaster I heard about.
Lambda:
Normally, I'd be happy to snap that cheeky spirit of yours like a twig...
Lambda:
...but I guess you really are lucky. Today's my day off, and I don't feel like doing a show or an official match.
Lambda:
You aren't like the other Swimsuit Swordmasters. You recognize beauty, and you dedicate your life to it.
Lambda:
But when it comes to the question of what sort of pictures you want to paint, or what kind of swordfighter you want to be...
Lambda:
...you still don't have a good answer, do you?
Katsushika Hokusai:
...
Lambda:
See? I can't, for the life of me, understand why an artist of your skill would just suddenly decide to trade the brush for the sword...
Lambda:
...but if you insist on challenging me, I'll be happy to end you at Suiten Palace on the most glorious stage imaginable.
Nero:
Hold it, Lambdaryllis. Are you sure there is nothing else you wish to say?
Nero:
Suiten Palace Invidia Serpens is said to be the greatest casino in all of Vegas...
Nero:
...yet oddly enough, no one seems to know what manner of games are on offer there.
Nero:
Is it poker? Baccarat? Roulette? Slots?
Nero:
As a Swimsuit Swordmaster casino, surely it must have some form of gambling.
Nero:
Yet all anyone talks about is your show.
Nero:
So tell me...what is it that people gamble at Suiten Palace?
Lambda:
Why, just QP, of course.
Lambda:
I happily pay out as much QP as anyone could want once they exchange it for tokens.
Lambda:
With my casino, what you see is what you get: traditional orthodox slot machines.
Lambda:
You should enjoy yourself too now that you've made it out here to Vegas, Fujimaru.
Lambda:
Just make sure you bring plenty of war chests to spare. Things move much more quickly at Suiten Palace than they do at other casinos, you see.
Lambda:
If you want to play more than a single game, you'll have to break out the big QP.
Siegfried:
There she goes... Well, at least we did manage to get tickets out of this...
Nero:
This is clearly a trap. She has every confidence that she can defeat you if you go challenge her.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...
Fujimaru 1:
Everything all right?
Fujimaru 2:
Don't let Lambdaryllis get to you, okay?
Katsushika Hokusai:
You kiddin'? I'm practically itchin' with excitement at how fast things're movin'! I can't wait ta show that dumpy old penguin' a thing or two!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Now that we've got our tickets, all we gotta do's build up our gamblin' funds and charge right in!
Mash:
Right! I'll go tell everyone at the hotel what happened, so the rest of you can start earning QP in the meantime!
Mash:
Next stop, the casino with the enormous penguin-populated swimming pool: Suiten Palace!
???:
...They said they're going to challenge Suiten Palace...
???:
I see... They wanna get in Melt's way...
Third Casino "Passion Flower of Love and Hate"
Carmilla:
I'll let the little people work on saving up QP. I have a date with the hotel spa.
Carmilla:
Honestly, what were they thinking, forbidding a phantom thief from stealing anything...
Carmilla:
Well, I suppose that's all right. I don't have any business at Suiten Palace anyway.
Carmilla:
My Mistress sense is telling me there is nothing of particular value hidden there.
Carmilla:
The only things I'll find there are applause and empty–Guh!?
???:
I can't believe you didn't notice me sneaking up on you. I guess that sense of yours only works on gemstones.
???:
It's hard to believe you were originally an Assassin.
???:
You should have stuck with something more appropriate for your age instead of changing to a swimsuit–I mean, a Rider.
Osakabehime:
Go go go! Flank and cut him off!He should've known better than to go off on his own!
Osakabehime:
Ahh, there's still nothing like a good battle royale!
Osakabehime:
I'm sorry for running off on you, Ma-chan, but I still need to cut loose every now and then!
Osakabehime:
Besides, Suiten Palace's the top-ranked casino that Lambda runs, right?
Osakabehime:
She does a good job covering it up, but I can still practically see the ominous aura emanating from there...
Osakabehime:
I usually love dark and gloomy stuff, but that place even creeps me out. Blackbeard said it scared him too, now that I think of it...
Osakabehime:
So I'm just gonna let Carmilla and Nero handle it while I kick back and blow off some serious steam!
Osakabehime:
Hey, watch your six! You're way too much of a noob to be in the same battlefield as me, baby!
???:
That's funny, I was going to say the same thing to you. All that flab must be slowing you down.
Osakabehime:
WTF!? I'll have you know I've been doing plenty of boxing fitness to get ready for summGah!
???:
You certainly like to talk a lot. Don't you know you're supposed to be quiet when sneaking up on someone?
???:
It's hard to believe you were originally an Assassin.
???:
And frankly, I don't think you're slim enough to be a good Archer, either...
Fuuma Kotarou:
...
???:
...
Fuuma Kotarou:
......
???:
......
Fuuma Kotarou:
Um... Is there a reason you've been following me around?
???:
...(Sigh) This is exactly what I don't like about you Assassins. You're too...observant.
???:
Why did you have to notice me following you? Why couldn't you have just let me sucker punch you like the others did?
???:
I mean, this is the third time. You should know better than to break the pattern now...
Fuuma Kotarou:
(...Yikes, I didn't notice what she was wearing until now. I wonder if that sort of outfit is common in Las Vegas. I don't know if I can look directly at her...)
Fuuma Kotarou:
(No, no, come on, Kotarou! You know Kintoki wouldn't hesitate to look at her if he was here! There's no reason you can't do the same!)
Fuuma Kotarou:
Um, I'm sorry, I'm kind of in a hurry, so could you make this quick? Oh, if you're looking for the rideshare pickup, it's–
???:
No, that's okay. I don't want to wait any more myself, so I'm just gonna punch you now and be done with it. After all, I have the clear advantage against Assassins☆
Fuuma Kotarou:
Yikes, they're huge!
(Talking about her fists)
???:
That's three of them, finally... I know there're still some others left, but eh, this is good enough.
???:
Any Servant who is an enemy of Suiten Palace is an enemy of mine! None shall escape on my watch!
???:
On my honor as an Alter Ego, I'm going to wad them all up and toss them in the trash!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Oh man, I'm exhausted!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I mean, it's great that I can train and earn QP at the same time, but all this gamblin' from mornin' ta night is takin' a real toll on my back!
Fou:
Fou, fooou.
Mash:
I guess we'll be taking our lunch break here then. Shall we order room service today?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hell yeah! That sounds great! Man, I tell ya, I didn't know what good service was until I came ta this hotel.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I mean, lyin' on the sofa while someone else brings ya lunch? I feel like a million yen!
Fujimaru 1:
Man, when she relaxes, she REALLY relaxes, huh.
Fujimaru 2:
So much for Hokusai's hard edge...
Siegfried:
You can't blame her. We are still in a desert, even if it is surrounded by an ocean.
Siegfried:
The sun is blisteringly hot during the day, and even at night, the sweltering heat saps you of your strength.
Siegfried:
Even I can't help but let down my guard every time we get back to the hotel and its air-conditioning. Though I'm ashamed to say I've been overworking the poor a/c.
Nero:
Umu. In the old days, there was no way for people to survive in a desert.
Nero:
The real Las Vegas could never exist were it not for the power of civilization.
Nero:
People built generators, shored up dams, laid down railroad tracks... Oh, right, there was just one track.
Nero:
Most people who come to Las Vegas do so via airplane, so there is an airport right next to the city.
Nero:
Or rather, that airport exists solely to support Vegas, which is really quite small as far as cities go.
Nero:
And to think, none of this would exist were it not for the city's core industry of gambling.
Nero:
I admit, Las Vegas does have Rome beat when it comes to sheer prosperity, consumerism, and decadence!
Nero:
But I still win when it comes to scale, since Vegas has nothing to compete with my Colosseum!
Nero:
Although, I suppose an open-air stadium like that would be a poor fit for a sweltering desert.
Nero:
You agree, do you not, Carmilla? You are even less fond of direct sunlight than... Hm?
Nero:
Mash, do you know where Carmilla is? Come to think of it, I do not see Evil-wind Kotarou or Batty anywhere either.
Mash:
Oh, now that you mention it, I haven't seen them around... Maybe they're asleep in their rooms?
Mash:
I'll go ask them if they want to join us for lunch.
Mash:
Everyone, come quick!
Mash:
I tried knocking on Carmilla, Osakabehime, and Kotarou's doors, but none of them answered.
Mash:
And when I went inside to check on them, I found this!
Mash:
Oh, sorry. My mistake.
Mash:
That was a message from Mistress C asking to be woken up at nightfall. This is the note I found.
“You must be crazy, trying to take Suiten Palace with such weak Servants.
Flies are destined to be swatted. I'll put the three I've already captured to good use at the beach.
P.S. Isn't watermelon-splitting fun?
Fujimaru 1:
I-it's a threatening letter!
Fujimaru 2:
Let's hurry to the beach!
Mash:
Okay, we're here! Searching for anyone that looks suspicious!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Over there, Mash! I'd recognize that bulk anywhere!
Mash:
Y-yes, she's definitely very distinctive! As for the Servants she captured, it looks like they're all lying down on top of one another at her feet...
Nero:
Umu, they are stacked like a triple decker burger! But that is not the real problem!
Carmilla & Osakabehime & Kotarou:
Nnn, nnnnnn!
(Bound and gagged)
???:
(Inhale...)
(Exhale...)
???:
Okay, I'm ready!
???:
First up, Passionlip! Let's see if I can split three watermelons at once!
???:
Let's do this!
Fujimaru 1:
No! Don't do this!
Fujimaru 2:
Stooop!
Siegfried:
It's no use calling out to her, Master! We'll just have to stop her by force!
--BATTLE--
Mysterious Alter Ego P:
Eeeeee...!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Gotcha! This fight is over!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Even your giant metal fingers were no match for me and my four swords!
Mysterious Alter Ego P:
It's true... Your little pinpricks were so annoying I just couldn't take it anymore...
Mysterious Alter Ego P:
But that's not enough to hold back my overflowing passion! Take thiiis!
Carmilla & Osakabehime & Kotarou:
!
Mysterious Alter Ego P:
...Huh? Why aren't your heads–I mean, watermelons split?
Osakabehime:
What, you thought we were just gonna lie there and take it!? We dodged at the last moment!
Fuuma Kotarou:
Thank you, everyone. You kept her occupied long enough for me to free us from our restraints.
Fujimaru 1:
Thank goodness!
Carmilla:
Indeed... Though I could have done without ever learning what it is like to be in an iron maiden myself.
Fujimaru 2:
Don't you think you might have a little too much passion?
Mysterious Alter Ego P:
Well, it's summer! I can't let Melt show me up!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Man, I can't believe this chick was seriously tryin' ta put 'em outta commission.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Yeah, I read your threatenin' letter. Suiten Palace send ya to kill us?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Lambda tryin' to sweep us under the rug before our official match 'cause she knows how dangerous we are?
Mysterious Alter Ego P:
...
(Contemptuous pity)
Katsushika Hokusai:
What's with the look!? Why arent'cha sayin' anythin'!?
Mysterious Alter Ego P:
Oh, I just couldn't help feeling sorry for you...
Mysterious Alter Ego P:
Why would Melt send someone to kill you? There's no possible way you guys could ever beat her.
Mysterious Alter Ego P:
I want to take down Suiten Palace too, but seeing you guys rush in to challenge her without a plan, I just... (Sniff)
Katsushika Hokusai:
Wha...!? What's with the waterworks!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Y-you take over, Master! I can't deal with chicks like her!
Fujimaru 1:
Sure thing. Can I ask your name?
Nero:
That is Passionlip, one of BB's Alter Egos. I have my own history with her.
Nero:
She is a very dangerous Servant, but I guarantee she is not a bad person at heart.
Fujimaru 2:
Hi, Passionlip.
H：Passionlip:
Hi, Fujimaru! Your swimsuit really, um, suits you!
Osakabehime:
Hey, she just tried to kill us, remember!? This isn't time to play nice!
H：Passionlip:
...
Osakabehime:
There, did you see that!? You could totally tell she was thinking “Yeah, I did. What about it?”!
Carmilla:
Easy there, Osakabehime.
Carmilla:
Trust me, you'll never get anywhere raging against psy–I mean, oblivious girls like her.
Carmilla:
You need to stay collected and attack smarter, not harder.
Osakabehime:
Ooh, makes sense! I can tell you've had a looot of practice dealing with Elly.
Carmilla:
Never mind her.
Mash:
Um, Passionlip, can you clear something up for me?
Mash:
If you're trying to take down Suiten Palace too, why did you kidnap Carmilla, Osakabehime, and Kotarou?
H：Passionlip:
Um... Hmm... How can I put this...
Well, they say the enemy of my enemy is my enemy, right?
H：Passionlip:
So I guess I just wanted to see if their combat skills were the real deal or not...
Fujimaru 1:
Isn't it “The enemy of my enemy is my friend”?
Carmilla:
Usually, yes. But in this case, I'm inclined to take her at her word. Once an enemy, always an enemy.
Carmilla:
As far as I'm concerned, the enemy of my enemy is just another unnecessary complication.
Fujimaru 2:
I'm just trying to do what I think is right.
H：Passionlip:
I know! You wouldn't be our Fujimaru otherwise!
H：Passionlip:
...But, um, I'm not sure doing what's right is going to get you very far here.
H：Passionlip:
Melt isn't going to stop being cruel just because you're doing things for the right reasons, after all.
Nero:
Oh, enough of this! If we wait around for Lip to get to the point, we will be here all day!
Nero:
Passionlip, as the Alter Ego born of one girl's love and hatred...
Nero:
...do you not have your own connection to the Alter Ego of Suiten Palace?
Nero:
If I am not mistaken, I believe you and her are sisters, and that you once worked together as a team.
Nero:
So why did you try to eliminate us even as you aspire to crush your sister's Suiten Palace?
Nero:
Do you not think it a poor strategy for us to spend our time fighting each other?
H：Passionlip:
I can't tell you why.
I mean...
H：Passionlip:
It's super childish, okay? I just can't stand that Melt's the only Alter Ego standing out.
Fujimaru 1:
(Ah... Now I get it...)
Fujimaru 2:
(This is exactly what we talked about, Lip...)
Nero:
Hmm, yes. I understand how you feel.
Nero:
Back when the fox-girl Caster got a swimsuit before I did, I wanted to wipe all Lancers from the face of the Earth.
Nero:
But that still does not explain why you attacked our allies. Tell us, what is your real reason?
Nero:
If you do not, and we end up on a crash course due to a failure to communicate, you will come to look back on this summer with regret.
H：Passionlip:
Ulp... Well, I definitely don't want to be blamed for things when you're the ones making a mistake...
H：Passionlip:
...Okay, I'll tell you.
H：Passionlip:
Melt–I mean, Lambdaryllis can convert weaklings into EXP and use them to make herself stronger.
H：Passionlip:
So if a bunch of weaklings storm Suiten Palace, it'll only make her even more difficult for someone else to defeat.
Siegfried:
Now I see. So sending in anything less than our strongest warriors would only end up aiding her.
H：Passionlip:
Right. So since Melt got carried away and changed into a Lancer...
H：Passionlip:
...I wanted to make sure a group of Sabers utterly destroy her.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Even though you're sisters?
Carmilla:
Don't be ridiculous. What do you think being sisters entails?
Fuuma Kotarou:
(Whatever happened to the idea of one big happy family!?)
Katsushika Hokusai:
A-all right, at least I get where you're comin' from now.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Basically, we just gotta bring a Saber to a Lancer fight, right? Then ya got nothin' to worry about.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Well how 'bout that. I'm a Saber, which makes me a perfect match for her.
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Although... I still wonder what she meant by that part...)
Katsushika Hokusai:
Anyway, don't worry 'bout takin' down Suiten Palace. Just sit this one out and let us take care of everythin'.
H：Passionlip:
Huh? Why would I sit this one out?
H：Passionlip:
This is the part where I join the team too. Right, Fujimaru?
Carmilla:
Hmm. What do you say, Master?
Fujimaru 1:
Well, it'd be dangerous letting her run around on her own, so...
Fujimaru 2:
Lip should make for a great trump card.
H：Passionlip:
Yay! I promise I'll do my best to help!
H：Passionlip:
I can cubeify anything given enough time, so if worse comes to worst, I can always just compact the whole casino!
Osakabehime:
Uh, Ma-chan? I don't think grouping up with a monster is gonna make her any less dangerous...
Third Casino "The Flowing Water Casino"
Fujimaru 1:
So we're finally ready for Suiten Palace...
Mash:
Yes. Thanks to everyone's efforts, we now have enough QP to ante in, so to speak.
Mash:
With this much of a war chest, we shouldn't have to worry about going bankrupt.
Mash:
The bad news is, Lambda only gave us two couple's tickets...
Mash:
...which means that only four of us can go there...
Siegfried:
Indeed. Not only that, it seems that no pets or other small animals are allowed inside...
Fou:
Fooou...
Siegfried:
Please don't be sad, Fou. We'll be counting on you to hold down the fort while we're gone.
Siegfried:
Master and Mash will get one couple's ticket, since they are both essential to the big picture mission, and Hokusai and I will get the other, since we're both Sabers.
Siegfried:
However, to be honest, I still have some misgivings about going into enemy territory with only four people. Ideally, I would like to bring along at least two more.
Nero:
Umu! Then I will get my hands on another couple's ticket!
Nero:
Worry not, I will find a way. Imperial Privilege has its perks, after all!
Nero:
Naturally, I will be one of the two using this ticket. As for the other, I will let you decide that amongst yourselves.
Osakabehime:
Pass. Not only is Lambda a Lancer, I just know she'd torment me mercilessly if I went along.
Osakabehime:
No, I'm just gonna lay low in my room like the shut-in I truly am☆
Carmilla:
I'll sit this one out too.
Suiten Palace has a poolside view by a lazy river.
Carmilla:
Vampires and water don't mix, so I refuse to risk tripping at the wrong spot and falling to my death. I'll spend the day here at the hotel.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Then it looks like I'll be the one going with you, Emperor Nero. Thank you for your generosity.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Although, what about Lip? She wanted to come along too, right? Shouldn't we let her know about this?
Nero:
Oh, do not worry about her. I am sure she will come along whether we invite her or not.
Nero:
Besides, it is not like we have any good way of fighting alongside a one-Servant army like her. Better to have her act on her own accord.
Mash:
Understood. Then I'll text Lip and let her know what our game plan is.
Nero:
Umu! Then we are off to defeat an Alter Ego! Fou, Batty, Carmilla, we will return with news of our victory soon!
Fou:
Fooou!
Entrance P.A. System:
Welcome to Casino Suiten Palace.
Entrance P.A. System:
Please be aware that we conduct thorough baggage checks to ensure the safety of all our guests.
Entrance P.A. System:
Thank you for your patience.
Fujimaru 1:
(I'm surprised the hallway into the casino is so dark...)
Fujimaru 2:
(Man, security really IS tight here...)
Mash:
(Yes. We pretty much have to hold hands to make sure we don't get separated.)
Siegfried:
(Good idea. Where are you, Hokusai?
Is this you?)
Siegfried:
(...What is this? It's smooth and supple, and my fingers seem to sink in the more I grab...)
Siegfried:
(It's very soft, too... Wait. Don't tell me this is your, um...chest area...?)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(No, you fool, that's Toto-sama! Get your hand off 'em before he inks ya and grab onto my obi!)
Entrance P.A. System:
Confirmed: two premium couple's tickets, and one platinum couple's ticket.
Entrance P.A. System:
[♂ Mr. /♀ Ms.] Fujimaru, Ms. Mash, please go through gate number one.
Entrance P.A. System:
Ms. Hokusai, Mr. Siegfried, please go through gate number one.
Entrance P.A. System:
Ms. Nero, Mr. Kotarou, please go through gate number four.
Nero:
(Hmm... I guess it was to be expected that we would be separated from the others.)
Fuuma Kotarou:
(I'm sure it will be fine. This casino doesn't seem to be very big, so we should be able to find them again soon.)
Entrance P.A. System:
Please note that filming, recording, and house credit is strictly prohibited.
Entrance P.A. System:
And finally, please note that when your QP run out, that means your luck has too. Thank you.
Mash:
(I wonder what they mean by “house credit.”)
Katsushika Hokusai:
Oh, that's a kinda loan they do at gamblin' houses.
Katsushika Hokusai:
If a customer runs outta money but either wants or has ta keep playin'...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...they can borrow temporary credit from the house to stay in the game.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Usually, the bookies love givin' out credit, since they always end up gettin' paid back and then some. I wonder why they don't letcha do it here?
Entrance P.A. System:
Please wait while we convert your money and EXP into tokens.
All:
(Huh?)
Fujimaru 1:
What was that?
Fujimaru 2:
Did I hear “EXP”?
Entrance P.A. System:
Sorry for the wait. Here are your Casino Suiten Palace tokens.
Entrance P.A. System:
Your tokens will be converted back into their original QP and EXP amounts when you leave.
Entrance P.A. System:
Now, without further ado...
Entrance P.A. System:
In the morning, we invite you to go for a dip in our luxurious wave pool, and to try your hand at our high-speed slots.
Entrance P.A. System:
In the afternoon, don't miss the tantalizing figure skating performance by our very own Lambdaryllis.
Entrance P.A. System:
Once again, we welcome you to Suiten Palace Invidia Serpens, where excitement and pleasure melt together.
Entrance P.A. System:
Please...enjoy your stay.
Mash:
It's...
Fujimaru 1:
So pretty...!
Siegfried:
Heartily seconded. Most casinos are very much indoor affairs, but not this one.
Siegfried:
I doubt there is a more beautiful, more spacious open-air casino to be found anywhere in the world.
Siegfried:
If the Dragon Palace of Eastern myth were real, I would not be at all surprised if it looked a lot like this.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...
Siegfried:
By the way, Master, did you notice that we were given two kinds of tokens?
Siegfried:
The golden ones are marked with a Q, and the purple ones with an E.
Siegfried:
Do you suppose–
Sophisticated Pirate:
Yes, they stand for QP, or money, and Experience, respectively. I take it this is your first time at Suiten Palace?
Mash:
Y-yes, it is. I'm sorry to impose, but do you think you might be able to give us some pointers?
Sophisticated Pirate:
Of course, of course! How could I refuse after gazing upon such beautiful hidden eyes?
Sophisticated Pirate:
Suiten Palace only has slot machines. That is, there are no games where customers play against a dealer.
Sophisticated Pirate:
The slot machines cost one token per pull, no more and no less. There's no limit, so you can play them all you want until your tokens run out.
Fujimaru 1:
Slot machines, huh. There's no purple-haired imp in them, is there?
Fujimaru 2:
There's no BB mark in the slots, is there?
Sophisticated Pirate:
Not to worry. These slot machines are completely on the up-and-up. I confirmed that for myself just yesterday.
Sophisticated Pirate:
Most of the casinos in Dazzling Las Vegas are arranged so that the house always wins, but not this one.
Sophisticated Pirate:
These slots are completely fair, and there are no dealers lurking to prey on amateur players.
Sophisticated Pirate:
You won't find a more wholesome casino anywhere. See for yourself. There's not a single intimidating security guard anywhere.
Sophisticated Pirate:
It's a veritable paradise for beginner gamblers...
Sophisticated Pirate:
...but it's also great for more well-off guests who just want a little thrill more than they want to hit it big.
Sophisticated Pirate:
People of all ages can enjoy themselves immensely here and go home with a smile.
Mash:
That's wonderful!
Mash:
That sounds like it's the perfect place for those who want to enjoy a Las Vegas casino for the first time...
Mash:
...but are afraid to try their hand at real gambling!
Sophisticated Pirate:
Indeed. But the catch is, a single token is worth one million QP.
Fujimaru 1:
A million!?
Fujimaru 2:
As in, seven digits!?
Sophisticated Pirate:
Indeed. That's the price you pay for completely fair gambling. But the possible payout is just as large.
Sophisticated Pirate:
The smallest amount you can win at the slot machines is still ten tokens.
Sophisticated Pirate:
If you hit it big, you can win a thousand. Do you know what this means?
Katsushika Hokusai:
If one token's worth a million QP, then a thousand'd be...a billion!?
Siegfried:
No, not that! It means we can lose a million QP in the time it takes to pull a lever!
Fujimaru 1:
Imagine a girl earning a million QP in seconds...!
Fujimaru 2:
Imagine me losing a million QP in seconds...!
Mash:
Now I see. So this casino is for very high rollers.
Mash:
Well, it's not the only one. The Pharaoh Casino was for high rollers too.
Mash:
We didn't get to see the VIP room there, but I'm sure it had people gambling away far more than that on a single bet.
Mash:
I'm more curious about the fact that this casino has two kinds of tokens. Here, look at this, Master.
Mash:
After the conversion, we got back one golden token and ten purple tokens.
Mash:
The golden one must be the million QP we saved up to bring to this casino.
Mash:
So the purple ones must be–
Siegfried:
Yes. All the EXP Master has accumulated to date.
Sophisticated Pirate:
That's right. They're a token, no pun intended, of your very existence. Once you spend them, you can't easily get them back.
Sophisticated Pirate:
You may not be able to borrow house credit at Suiten Palace, but you can literally put your life on the line.
Sophisticated Pirate:
Anyone who gets lured into the classic gambling traps, such as “I've got a good feeling about this next one” or “I'm on a roll right now”...
Sophisticated Pirate:
...would be lucky if they only end up spending all of their gold tokens.
Sophisticated Pirate:
A couple of foolish black and white-bearded acquaintances of mine fell to those traps here just yesterday...
Sophisticated Pirate:
So whatever you do, make sure you don't get carried away and use the purple tokens. You could easily end up gambling away your very life.
Katsushika Hokusai:
And just like that, he's gone... What was that all about?
Mash:
I think he meant that spending the purple tokens will cause Master to go down in level.
Mash:
It sounds like it's a timed Energy Drain... Or perhaps an Energy Drain that reacts to desire.
Mash:
I can see how it would be easy to fall into a gambler's mindset that ends with you spending them.
Mash:
“I'm all out of money, but I still want to play the slots. It's okay, I can handle going down a few levels.”
Mash:
“I just need to win once to get it all back and then some. And even if I don't, I can always grind for more EXP...”
Mash:
Yes, I can see that sort of scenario playing out all too easily. What a dreadful system.
Fujimaru 1:
(Gulp...)
Katsushika Hokusai:
Damn, that's just evil... I mean, there's always at least a few gamblers at a gamblin' hall who're willin' ta risk it all for one more round...
Fujimaru 2:
Okay, I've decided. No playing the slots here, period.
Siegfried:
I agree, Master. Since I possess Golden Rule, I can tell that one cannot allow oneself to give in to desire here.
Siegfried:
To do so would inevitably lead to one's ruin, and a transformation into the evil dragon.
Mash:
...Good point. I was looking forward to trying the slots, but I have to agree that it's too dangerous.
Mash:
We could use our one golden token to play a single round without risking our EXP, but that's still much too risky.
Siegfried:
Well said. As long as there is no reason for us to venture near that trap, we can stay far away.
Heartless Customer:
What's this? Ye ain't gonna use yer token? Then give it ta us!
Heartless Customer:
I already used all my golden ones, and I'm thiiis close ta hittin' it big!
Logical Machine:
Correct. At the current odds, you are certain to strike it rich in two to six pulls. Seven to ten, tops.
Logical Machine:
Do not give up now. You must hang in there.
Katsushika Hokusai:
The hell? They're tryin' to rob us! Whatever happened ta this casino bein' safe for all ages!?
--BATTLE--
Heartless Customer:
Dammit, they're too strong! All right! If we gotta blow ourselves up ta get those tokens, then that's what we'll do!
Logical Machine:
One more try, and the universe will... Will... Huh? Danger, danger. Enormous entity coming in overhea–
???:
Roooaaarrr! I'm gonna eaaat yooou uuup!
P.A. System:
Your attention, please. Two rowdy guests have been safely taken into custody. We apologize for the disturbance.
P.A. System:
We hope you continue to enjoy your thrilling time at the elegant Suiten Palace Casino.
Mash:
Am I so tired I'm seeing things, or was there an enormous shadow behind that wave just now...?
Siegfried:
...There was. There may not be any security guards here,
but it would seem there is some sort of mysterious guardian.
Siegfried:
Those two probably won't be the last such ruffians we encounter here, so we need to be ready for anything.
Siegfried:
In the meantime, let's look for Kotarou and Nero. It shouldn't be too hard to find them in a casino this small.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Sounds good ta me. In that case, why don't we split up and meet back here 'round lunchtime?
Fujimaru 1:
Okay, let's go with that. Stay strong, everyone.
Siegfried:
Of course, Master. After all, we need to conserve all our strength for the main event later.
Third Casino "1,000,000 QP Per Second"
P.A. System:
Your attention please. Please come to the center rink for the main attraction.
P.A. System:
Don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to continue enjoying the slot machines later.
P.A. System:
Now, prepare to feast your eyes on the miraculous swan... The beautiful dance of swords that entrances all who see it.
P.A. System:
Prepare to witness the show of the most gorgeous Swimsuit Swordmaster in all of Las Vegas: Mistress Lambdaryllis's S Stage.
Customer A:
Yes, finally! This is what I've been saving all of my money for!
Customer B:
I already ran out of gold tokens, but I regret nothing.
Customer B:
Getting to see her show live and in person is goddamn priceless.
Customer C:
Totally! This is my third time, and it just keeps getting better! Ahh, maybe today will be the day her beauty finally melts me into a puddle!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Tch, beauty this, beauty that, blah blah blah. I'm gettin' real sick of it.
Katsushika Hokusai:
The only thing a swordmaster oughta brag about's their skill with a sword. You can't live on popularity alone.
Katsushika Hokusai:
'Sides, what's so beautiful 'bout a gal dressed up like a penguin? I don't get these people.
Fujimaru 1:
True, that parka didn't seem like something a star would wear.
Fujimaru 2:
(I'll just keep the fact that some people love parkas like that to myself for now...)
Siegfried:
Master! Hokusai! Did you see Kotarou or Nero!?
Fujimaru 1:
No, we never ran into them...
Mash:
Me neither. I searched the whole casino top to bottom, but there was no sign of them...
Mash:
Kotarou may be good at hiding, but Nero stands out so much I was sure I'd find her in no time...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Yeah, good point. I'da sworn we'd find Kotarou tryin' ta stop that empress gal from blowin' all her money on slots.
Katsushika Hokusai:
But it looks like maybe they ain't here at all.
Fujimaru 1:
Maybe they're at the rink they just mentioned?
Siegfried:
It's hard for me to imagine that empress having any interest in a skating rink with no slot machines around...
Fujimaru 2:
Maybe they had their already fun and left?
Mash:
I don't know...though I hate to say that I wouldn't put it past Nero.
Siegfried:
Either way, we should take advantage of this chance to fight another Swimsuit Swordmaster and head to this rink as well.
Siegfried:
Come on, everyone. Let's settle this as soon as we can.
Siegfried:
Something is telling me the sooner we leave this casino, the better.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hmph. I was all rarin' to go before, but now I'd rather take any of the other Swimsuit Swordmasters.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Who cares about some dumb old S Stage, whatever that is? It's probably just some silly tent Little Black Ridin' Hood put up ta entertain the kids–
Katsushika Hokusai:
Jackpot! It's the real deal, Toto-sama!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Look at her! She's like a real-life angel or somethin'!
Lambda:
Good day, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Thank you all so much for coming to Casino Suiten Palace.
Lambda:
Though my show will only last a few minutes, I hope it will serve to enrich you for the rest of your lives.
Siegfried:
That was a lovely little speech. And here I thought this Lambda person was supposed to be an evil Alter Ego. Perhaps she turned over a new leaf.
Siegfried:
Well, we can't challenge her to a battle and ruin this atmosphere now. Let's wait until her show is over, Master.
Lambda:
(Oh yes... The rest of your soon-to-be-much-shorter lives.)
Lambda:
(I'll show you something so enriching it'll even help you after you've become pathetic little dolls.)
Fujimaru 1:
Hm?
Fujimaru 2:
MelI mean, Lambda turning over a new leaf? No way.
Siegfried:
It's starting... Hmm. Hmmm. There, she's open. No, wait, she's not. Look at that beautiful turn she made after darting in at that angle!
Siegfried:
This is really something!
Siegfried:
I can't explain it very well, but my heart is beating just as fast as when that evil dragon had me in its talons!
Mash:
Yes, it's beautiful. It's almost like she's skating on top of water!
Mash:
I saw a show like this on video once, but seeing it in person really is entrancing...
Mash:
I can't take my eyes off her for a second... Her body language is just so expressive and uplifting.
Mash:
And the sheer speed with which she darts from one end of the rink to another is so much more impactful in person!
Mash:
Anastasia once told me that a professional ice skater could kill a Naumann's elephant with their legs alone... Now I see what she meant!
Fujimaru 1:
How did she come up with that in the first place?
Fujimaru 2:
I wonder what she has against elephants?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Y-yeah, I'll admit, she's pretty fast, and kinda rivetin' to watch. But really, she oughta be, seein' how she's a Swimsuit Swordmaster 'n all.
Katsushika Hokusai:
(...Although, it feels like there's more to this than that... Like, why do I got this weird pain in my chest...?)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Man, seein' her do a quadruple axel as she speeds by... The way her slender legs kick up waves in her wake, almost like a dragon...)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(...Dammit, I don't even feel like fightin' her now. No way I can beat her like this.)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(I can tell there's somethin' different about her compared to the other Swimsuit Swordmasters I've seen so far...)
Lambda:
Thank you, thank you. It's a thrill to perform like this for all of you.
Lambda:
But, I'm getting tired of all these same faces here, so now, it's time for the S Stage to begin in earnest.
Lambda:
Get ready! My cruel spectacle is going to melt each and every one of you, body and soul.
Mash:
Aah! Senpai, slot machines just popped up in front of every spectator here!
Siegfried:
Individual slot machines for every guest...? But at these rates, there can't be many people willing to–
Customer A:
Wheee! This is awesome! I love these slot machines!
Customer B:
I can't believe we get to play slots and see Mistress Lambda's show at the same time! This is the best!
Customer C:
I know, right!? I could play these slots all day! Golden, purple, who cares! I'll throw in every token I have!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Wh-whoa! They're all pullin' those levers like there's no tomorrow! But, if they spend that much that fast...
Customer A:
Wheee! Heeelp! I can't stop! I can't stooop!
Customer B:
Aaah, I'm melting! I can feel my body dissolving beneath meee!
Customer C:
Mmm, going bankrupt feels so good! And my body falling apart feels even better!
Siegfried:
Oh no... It's the Rheingold all over again!
Siegfried:
They're so entranced by the show that they've become overrun with desire to play the slots!
Fujimaru 1:
We have to stop them!
Siegfried:
Khh! I'm stopping the man next to me, but there's no way we can stop them all!
Siegfried:
We need to cut off the entrancement at its source!
Fujimaru 2:
(Must...play...slots...)
Mash:
No, Master! Stop! Here, I'm going to hang onto the tokens myself!
Lambda:
...Mmm, not bad. Not the best meal I've had by any stretch, but at least I'm nice and full.
Lambda:
Those purple tokens represent your very existence... Remember how I said the more you use them, the more it'd decrease your level?
Lambda:
You were just too weak to resist the temptation. Oh well, don't say I didn't warn you.
Mash:
This is awful... Every other person here turned into a puddle...
Siegfried:
We can't let her get away with this. Come on, everyone!
Siegfried:
We're going to defeat that wicked Alter Ego here and now!
Katsushika Hokusai:
D-don't gotta tell me twice! C'mon, lady! It's time for a Swimsuit Swordmaster match!
Lambda:
Aww, you guys didn't play the slots yourselves, huh? Well that's too bad.
Lambda:
It's not very elegant to get in a fight with customers, but if you're going to climb up onto my stage, I guess I have no choice.
Lambda:
All right then, it's showtime! You're up, Kingprotea!
Kingprotea:
Hehe, finally!
A：All:
(Agape)
Kingprotea:
Hi there! Nice to meet you, little customers!
Welcome to Suiten Palace!
Kingprotea:
Did you like the casino?
Did you enjoy Lambda's show?
Kingprotea:
Great! Now I'm gonna finish things off with one last spectacle! Oh, by the way, I'm Kingprotea, an Alter Ego.
Kingprotea:
I'm a huge evil monster threatening to plunge Las Vegas into chaos☆
Mash:
Oh gosh, oh gosh... That enormous hostile Servant is headed this way! Our chances of winning are slim to none!
Mash:
Get ready to fight, Master! The first thing we need to do is get out of her reach!
--BATTLE--
Kingprotea:
Was that fun? Was it scary? Then let's finish things off with a splash!
Kingprotea:
I'm gonna show all you brave warriors right to the bottom of the pool! Kablooosh!!!
Mash:
It's no use! We'll never be able to get away in time! Everyone, hang onto my shiel–
Fujimaru 1:
Aaaaaahhh!!!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Gah!
Lambda:
So, you like to overwhelm your opponents with a barrage of attacks, and yet it only took two little kicks to stop you in your tracks. Pathetic.
Lambda:
But don't blame me, Hokusai. Blame yourself. You're the one who showed up here looking like that even after I took the time to warn you.
Katsushika Hokusai:
You pickin' a fight with me, ya damn witch!? Whaddaya mean, “lookin' like that”!? Somethin' wrong with my face!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I already know I got a tiny, dumb-lookin' nose! Ya don't gotta rub my...uh, nose...in it!
Lambda:
...Do stop playing dumb, will you? It's painful to watch.
Lambda:
An artist of your caliber must have realized something when watching my show.
Lambda:
“What is it I truly want to express?”
Lambda:
I'm sure you have no problem answering that question as a painter, but you haven't figured it out as a swordfighter.
Lambda:
That's why your blades went dull, your eyeline wavered, and you lost the momentum you had up to now.
Lambda:
And if that wasn't enough...you even fell prey to my charms, didn't you?
Katsushika Hokusai:
...!
Lambda:
Oh well. Now that Protea smushed your friends, our little game is over.
Lambda:
Too bad. If you'd fought with them, you might have been able to get away.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...
Lambda:
Hehe, that's the kind of face I like to see. That's just the sort of expression that gets my own heart pumping.
Lambda:
So, what say you? Are you ready to stop playing at being a swordfighter and go back to being a wonderful artist?
Lambda:
I'll even let you live if you do, you know. I was just thinking I could use an artist to draw my new box art.
Lambda:
Just melting you down into EXP would be a waste of good talent!
Lambda:
Hehe. Now, you're all my toys.
Lambda:
In the face of a raging current, even the strongest fighter is no more than a fragile, floating leaf.
Lambda:
They'll all be swept up into Suiten Palace's madness like all of the other crazies.
Lambda:
Once you see Suiten Palace's true form, you'll know just how small and insignificant you truly are.
--ARROW--
Fujimaru 1:
When we sunk down to the bottom...
Factory P.A. System:
Serve us. Devote yourself to us. Kneel before us. Skip sleep and work for us.
Factory P.A. System:
Group A's current completion rate is...eighty-nine percent.
Factory P.A. System:
Only...eleven percent to go until the completion...
Factory P.A. System:
...of the not-to-scale figures manufactured on Earth up through the year 2020.
Fujimaru 1:
...we found a hellish forced labor camp.
Factory P.A. System:
Group B's current completion rate is...sixteen percent.
Factory P.A. System:
Only...eighty-four percent to go until the completion...
Factory P.A. System:
...of the modeling for all the figures of Mistress Lambda's favorite characters that were never made into figures on Earth up through the year 2020.
Factory P.A. System:
Group C's–
Pirate You Might Have Fought Before:
Are you kidding!? There's no way we can mass-produce a line of identical figurines with just our bare hands!
Pirate You Might Have Fought Before:
Besides, I'm a buyer, not a maker–Aah! Don't zap me! I don't need another fetish!
Unknown Lion:
What kind of slapdash operation are you running here!?
Take it from someone who knows what he's talking about:
Unknown Lion:
Treat! Workers! Right!
Unknown Lion:
You can't draw out their potential if they don't have the bare minimum of food, shelter, and clothing! Haven't you ever heard of Maslow's hierarchy of needs!?
Unknown Lion:
And these collars! You can't zap our brains with electricity like this! Now is the time to unioni-i-i-i-i-i-i...
Siegfried:
I'm sorry, this is all so sudden that I'm having difficulty catching up. Can someone please explain what happened to us?
Mash:
(Nod)
Mash:
After one thing led to another, we ended up fighting Lambda...
Mash:
...but then the giant Servant Protea appeared from the water stage and wiped us out single-handedly.
Mash:
We were then washed away by a giant wave and carried down here to this underground factory, where we're now being kept prisoner.
Nero:
Umu. I'd hoped you came here to rescue Kotarou and me, since we were the first to play the slots and be dissolved...
Nero:
...but it seems that is not the case. (Wince)
Fuuma Kotarou:
I tried to stop her, but the only thing she said was...
Fuuma Kotarou:
“Hurry up and give me your tokens too!” before snatching them out of my hands...
Mash:
(Nod)
I see.
Mash:
Eventually, after we washed up here, Hokusai was seriously injured and wound up here as well.
Mash:
Fortunately, Master was able to use [♂ his /♀ her] Mystic Code to close her wounds, and now she's, well...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Holy hell, what is this place!? It's even worse than Toto-sama's year-end crunch time!
Katsushika Hokusai:
She's got artisans locked up in collars and forcing 'em to make dolls! And not just dolls of herself!
Katsushika Hokusai:
She's also got dolls of other people, includin' some that never existed in real life, along with robots, beasts, teddy bears... There's a whole mountain of treasure here!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I knew Little Black Ridin' Hood was a dyed-in-the-wool sadist, but I didn't know she was also a doll freak!
Mash:
She's been just as animated as usual ever since she first saw this factory. If she was ever dejected about losing to Lambda, she's clearly forgotten all about it.
Mash:
Oh, and we also know one of Lambda's deepest secrets now.
Fujimaru 1:
That we do...
Fujimaru 2:
I would've been just fine if it had stayed a secret...
Siegfried:
I see. Thank you. I think I understand now.
Siegfried:
So she uses her show to charm people into giving up all their money and EXP, rendering them powerless...
Siegfried:
...then melts them down and confines them here underground, forcing them to work for her...
Pirate You Might Have Partnered With Before:
Heh heh heh...
Pirate You Might Have Partnered With Before:
That isn't all she's got planned. By the way, anyone ever tell you you'd look real good in a slave outfit?
Fujimaru 1:
That evil, yet strangely trustworthy face...!
Fujimaru 2:
Partner... Khh!
Mash:
Columbus! You came to rescue us!
Factory Chief:
Rescue you? Hahahaha, you've got it all wrong, girlie.
Factory Chief:
We have met before, right? I always follow my heart, and what my heart wants more than anything is money.
Factory Chief:
So which side do you think I'm going to pick here:
yours, or the casino's?
Fujimaru 1:
Do we even need to answer?
Fujimaru 2:
Gee, I'll really have to think about that one.
Fuuma Kotarou:
...
Factory Chief:
Whoa, I'd think twice about throwing that hidden dagger at me if I were you, kid. See, I'm the guy in charge of this little underground factory.
Factory Chief:
You mess with me, you're gonna get the horns. Specifically, the horns of a certain giantess keeping an eye on things.
Kingprotea:
Watching... Watching... Me and the factory chief are always watching...
Factory Chief:
So unless you want to go another round with her, I'd keep your dagger right where I can see it.
Factory Chief:
Besides, you're gonna be winning us a lot of bread from now on. I'd hate to lose out on your income for no good reason.
Siegfried:
You mean...you're going to make us work for you?
Factory Chief:
That's right. Lambda and I managed to work out a deal.
Factory Chief:
What'd she call it... A city-type engine...?
No, no, I got it. It was SE.RA.PH.
Factory Chief:
She's gonna sink all of Vegas into the ocean and claim it for herself.
Factory Chief:
See, she's not collecting all this EXP at the casino just for the fun of it.
Factory Chief:
Once it's maxed out, she's gonna turn herself into an ocean and swallow Vegas whole.
Factory Chief:
It'll be like the legendary Leviathan come to life. Awful story. Just awful.
Factory Chief:
But it's also a huge waste, right? All those people won't do anyone any good at the bottom of an ocean.
Factory Chief:
So I made her a proposition. I said:
Factory Chief:
“Let me have all these 'resources' you're not using, and I'll help you do whatever you want with Vegas!”
Fuuma Kotarou:
Now I see, pirate. So in exchange for increasing this factory's efficiency...
Fuuma Kotarou:
...she agreed to let you have all the people she no longer needs.
Factory Chief:
Haha, I'm not a pirate. But you're not the first to make that mistake, and I doubt you'll be the last.
Factory Chief:
Anyway, there you have it. I'm not here to fight you or to kill you.
Factory Chief:
It'll only be a few more shows until Lambda's level is all maxed out.
Factory Chief:
All you have to do is sit tight until Vegas's final curtain call. Here you go.
Mash:
Senpai, look! The white-bearded factory chief opened the door to our cage!
Factory Chief:
Well sure I did. How're you supposed to get to work otherwise?
Factory Chief:
It's not like you'll be making an escape with the giantess keeping an eye on things, so I don't see the harm in letting you go free.
Factory Chief:
Besides, you'll all be mine when this is said and done. I'm counting on you to earn me some big bucks, brother!
Fuuma Kotarou:
...He may be evil, but I'll say this for him: he's certainly good at fending for himself.
Fuuma Kotarou:
At any rate, it's a lucky stroke that he let us out of our cage.
Fuuma Kotarou:
That said...what do we do now, Master?
Siegfried:
Now that we know about her plan to destroy Las Vegas, we have to find a way to stop her.
Siegfried:
Our only responsible course of action is to destroy this underground factory, free its workers, and defeat Lambdaryllis in an official Swimsuit Swordmaster match.
Siegfried:
But, unfortunately...
Nero:
Umu. Unless we can defeat that new Alter Ego face of BB, we have no hope of escaping.
Nero:
And she is not the sort of opponent one can defeat with mere brawn.
Nero:
I swear, if it is not one troublesome Alter Ego with BB, it is another. Why do I not have more variations!? No fair!
Fujimaru 1:
Let's just observe what things are like here for a while.
Fujimaru 2:
Times like this, it's best to keep calm and grind on.
Mash:
Good point... For reasons I can't begin to understand, it looks like we can collect QP here as well.
Mash:
I'm still wondering about the final curtain call the factory chief mentioned, but for now, we should save our strength until we really need it!
Third Casino "Sword or Art"
Factory P.A. System:
Good morning, everyone. We have some good news for you today.
Factory P.A. System:
Your job at our factory is now complete. We appreciate you working yourselves past your limits.
Factory P.A. System:
To repeat: your job at our factory is now...
Siegfried:
So this hellish handmade figurine production has come to a halt... I guess that means it's time.
Mash:
Yes. Today must be the day when Lambda performs the last show she needs to max out her EXP.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Then it doesn't matter how bad our odds of winning might be.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Now that we know Kingprotea's guarding the elevator back to the surface, we have to get past her no matter what.
Nero:
Umu. It is just not physically possible to escape with her great bulk blocking the way.
Nero:
What's more, now that the factory chief has sided with the enemy, we must ensure he gets his comeuppance. And by that, I mean confiscating all of his property!
Mash:
Then we're agreed; the escape mission is a go.
Is everyone ready?
Katsushika Hokusai:
...
Fujimaru 1:
Hokusai?
Fujimaru 2:
You okay? You don't look so hot.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Oh, nah, I'm all healed up now. And I don't got any problem with the plan.
Katsushika Hokusai:
It's just...even if we do manage to take down Protea, Little Black Ridin' Hood'll still be waitin' for me.
Katsushika Hokusai:
And honestly, I don't know if I can beat her. I can't think of anythin' I got that she doesn't.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I hate ta admit it, but her performance took my breath away. I really did think she was beautiful.
Katsushika Hokusai:
There's somethin' amazin' about her that wasn't true for any of the other Swimsuit Swordmasters we've seen so far.
Katsushika Hokusai:
But I don't know what it is, and I'll never be able ta beat her till I do.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Haha, pretty pathetic, right? But I just can't shake that feelin'.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I hate that I'm losin' the battle of wills to a fighter who cares more about beauty than blades.
Fujimaru 1:
I don't get the sense Lambda's beautiful because she's strong...
Fujimaru 1:
...so much as she's strong because she's beautiful.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...What was that?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Master, say that again!
Katsushika Hokusai:
One more time! Please! I can feel my brain makin' some kinda connection!
P.A. System:
Attention. Today's program has changed.
P.A. System:
Due to overwhelming demand, today's show will begin in twenty minutes.
P.A. System:
Once the curtain rises, all experience points stored at this facility will be infused into Mistress Lambdaryllis.
P.A. System:
For safety reasons, please refrain from operating the equipment during this time.
P.A. System:
Anyone who fails to comply will be Drained by Mistress Lambdaryllis directly.
Siegfried:
I'm sorry to interrupt your revelation, but it looks like we have even less time to waste than we thought.
Siegfried:
We start by defeating Kingprotea! Let's go!
Katsushika Hokusai:
D-don't worry 'bout it! I'm the one who interrupted ya for some nonsense!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Anyway, I think I got it! First up, we take down the big gal! Let's go, Master!
Factory Chief:
Whoa there. Where do you think you guys are going? You're not headed up to try and stop Lambda's plan, are you?
Factory Chief:
Hey, don't get me wrong. I think it's great you're so willing to risk your lives to save others. Real noble of you.
Factory Chief:
But, contractually speaking, I'm afraid I can't let you do that.
Factory Chief:
'Cause it'd mean I get that much less for my share!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Dammit! Your ugly mug made me lose my train of thought, ya big galoot!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Stay outta our way if y'know what's good for you, merchant! Go back to your ship and count your coins!
Factory Chief:
Ha, I'm not just in this for the money. I also love chasing after dreams. And that girlie's plan is chock-full of them.
Factory Chief:
There's few things I love more than watching someone with a real lust for power going to town!
Factory Chief:
Besides, you ever stopped to think that maybe you guys have it all wrong? Sure, that girlie's plan ain't pretty...
Factory Chief:
...but there's something real nasty about this Singularity. If you ask me, the sooner it goes away, the better!
Fuuma Kotarou:
Master, allow me to handle this.
Fuuma Kotarou:
From what I've learned, Protea is a kindhearted Alter Ego by nature. It's that Rider controlling her that's the problem.
Fuuma Kotarou:
As long as we can take him out, we should be able to avoid fighting her!
Fujimaru 1:
Got it!
Fujimaru 2:
I'd say my old partner is overdue for some just desserts.
Factory Chief:
Huh?
--ARROW--
Fuuma Kotarou:
Jackpot!
Factory Chief:
Arrrgh! Hang on! Is this really any way to treat your old partner!?
Fuuma Kotarou:
And with that, evil has been defeated. Now Protea should go back to her old kindly personali–
Kingprotea:
(Yawwwn)
Kingprotea:
Can't you keep it down, Factory Chief? I was having a nice nap before you woke me up.
Kingprotea:
Oh, you already got taken out? Well, that's no fun. I haven't gotten to play at all.
Kingprotea:
At least you all look like you've still got plenty of energy!
Kingprotea:
Hehe... So you and I are gonna have lots and lots of fun together, okay?
Kingprotea:
Don't worry. I'm sure Meltryllis will fix you, no matter how mangled you end up.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I don't understand! I was so sure she was a gentle Servant at heart!
Fujimaru 1:
Why did you even think that in the first place!?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Well, you know... She has one eye covered up, so I thought she must be shy...
Fujimaru 2:
(Right... He didn't fight her earlier, so he had no idea...)
Nero:
We would have been better off if the factory chief were still here after all! Now what do we do, Fujimaru!?
Nero:
Does one of us stay behind to draw her attention away from the others, or do we fight her head-on knowing it is impossible to win!?
Nero:
You are our Master, so the choice is yours!
Mash:
I'll stay behind! As a Shielder, I should be able to hold out for a little while by my–Huh?
Siegfried:
Someone just blew up the factory! But who could have...
Wait. That silhouette...!
Passionlip:
Oh, hello, Fujimaru. I didn't expect to see all of you here.
Passionlip:
Hehe, I just got here myself. Funny coincidence, huh?
Fujimaru 1:
Passionlip...!
Fujimaru 2:
Oooh this is gonna be EPIC!!!
Kingprotea:
Huh? How did the factory get broken? Now Meltryllis is gonna be mad at me...
Kingprotea:
Wait. I recognize that nasty aura. That's...Passionlip...
Passionlip:
That's right! I finally found you, Kingprotea, root of all evil!
Passionlip:
Don't worry, Fujimaru! I can handle her by myself!
Kingprotea:
Oh no no no. That's them! The giant monster killer claws!
Kingprotea:
Now what am I gonna do!?
--BATTLE--
Kingprotea:
Yooou gooot meee! But that's okay! I still had fun!
Factory P.A. System:
Emergency.
Emergency.
Factory P.A. System:
Abnormality in Sadist System Melt Purge.
Unable to compress EXP storage tanks.
Factory P.A. System:
Releasing purple tokens to their original owners in ninety seconds.
Factory P.A. System:
Unable to proceed with final show at current output.
Unable to proceed with final show at current output.
Factory P.A. System:
Mistress Lambdaryllis, please reboot your plan and try again.
Factory P.A. System:
We repeat. Releasing purple tokens to their original owners in ninety–
Passionlip:
Yay, I did it!
Passionlip:
It's okay that I destroyed the factory while I was at it too, right, Fujimaru?
Fujimaru 1:
U-uh, yeah, that's fine.
Fujimaru 2:
You should include at least a little seek time when wreaking havoc.
Siegfried:
Heh. That is just how young maidens in love are. Lord Sigurd said so too.
Nero:
Ah, you are speaking of Romantia! I understand! But this is neither the time nor the place for that!
Mash:
Look, Master! Now that Protea is down, we can use the elevator!
Mash:
Let's hurry back to Suiten Palace and make sure to defeat Lambda once and for all this time!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hell yeah! I owe Little Black Ridin' Hood a lotta payback! This time, I'll make sure she gets what's comin' to her!
--ARROW--
－ Lambda's Dressing Room at Suiten Palace－
－ Twenty Minutes Before the Final Show－
Lambda:
So this is it. My final performance... In an hour, I'll have everything I ever wanted.
Lambda:
I will miss performing, but all good things must come to an end. The brightest stars know to retire while they're still at their peak.
Lambda:
It's an ill bird that fouls its own nest, and since I'm a white swan myself, this will be the perfect curtain call.
Lambda:
...
...
Lambda:
...Hehe. Hehehe.
Ahahahahahaha!
Lambda:
Oooh, this is just the best! I don't think I've ever been this elated in my life!
Lambda:
There's no BB, the biggest burden, to get in my way here, and no other annoying boss characters in sight!
Lambda:
Being an Odette in love just isn't my style! The cruel Odile, on the other hand... Now that's the life for me!
P.A. System:
Apologies for the interruption, but a fire has broken out in the underground factory.
P.A. System:
Your entire collection has gone up in flames. The factory chief has deserted his post.
P.A. System:
And the kaiju you scouted, Kingprotea, has gone silent. We now lack the resources to proceed with the final show.
P.A. System:
You need to reboot your plan and try again, Mistress Lambdaryllis.
Lambda:
Huh? Hey Seerie, say that again? I didn't quite catch it.
P.A. System:
I repeat, you have lost everything. You need to start over from the beginning.
Lambda:
...I see. Meh, such is life.
Lambda:
It's okay. I'm still cool, calm, and collected.
Lambda:
This is Fujimaru's doing, right?
I figured [♂ he /♀ she] might do something like this.
Lambda:
But I still have plenty of moves I can make. There's a full crowd out there waiting for me to go on, right?
Lambda:
So I'll just go on stage right now and turn them all into EXP.
Lambda:
That ought to let me level up enough to wipe the floor with them, right?
P.A. System:
Say “Hey Seerie, tell me the bad news,” please.
Lambda:
...Tell me the bad news.
P.A. System:
The how and why are still unclear, but all of the guests gathered at the rink have left.
P.A. System:
You currently possess exactly bupkes.
Lambda:
Hey Seerie, go to hell!
Lambda:
Dammit, what's going on!?
How did this happen!?
Nero:
Umu, the best way to fight art truly is with more art! Good day, everyone! Thank you for that hearty round of applause!
Nero:
Let me see... “Your attention please. I understand you are excited for the show, but this area is dangerous. For your own safety, we must ask you to leave at once.”
Nero:
“Of course, we do not ask this lightly. In return, allow me to present you with a gift easily on par with Lambdaryllis's performance...”
Nero:
“A serenade from yours truly! As you leave, I will regale you with a song...no, ten songs...no, enough songs to last three days and nights or until you pass out from excitement!”
Nero:
Heh, it worked! They all left in a rush! I must have truly gotten through to them!
Mash:
This is great! Now we won't have to worry about any bystanders getting hurt!
Fuuma Kotarou:
(It looked to me like they were running away in fright...but a closed mouth gathers no feet...)
Lambda:
Now you've done it. Oh yes, you've reeeally done it this time.
Fujimaru 1:
Lambdaryllis...!
Fujimaru 2:
This part wasn't me. That was all Nero.
Lambda:
I see. I guess I underestimated how...powerful Nero's singing can be.
Lambda:
The personal brand loyalty I'd built up... My fans' trust in me... All their passion and high hopes...
Lambda:
Just knowing that all it took to make them forget that was one song only makes it sting that much more...
Lambda:
Fine, I admit it. You win this one, okay!?
Lambda:
Honestly, I know I went a little too far with my hobby here. But is that so wrong!?
Lambda:
What's wrong with making figures!? They're beautiful, right!?
Lambda:
In my book, there's no difference between figure skating and figure making!
Nero:
Umu. As one who enjoys making a nice sculpture, I understand how you feel.
Nero:
No matter how much others may dismiss our interests, we cannot help but like what we like.
Lambda:
Don't you lump my beautiful figures in with your twisted... Oh, never mind.
Lambda:
Right now, I want to hear from you, Lip. I didn't pick on you at all this time, right?
Lambda:
So why did you do this to me? That's the only part of this I don't understand, and it's really grating on me.
Passionlip:
...Fine, let me ask you this:
Why Protea?
Passionlip:
Aren't I the one who's supposed to keep you safe?
Passionlip:
Who cares if you're a bad guy for this event?
You still should have at least asked me.
Fujimaru 1:
(So that was her real reason...)
Fujimaru 2:
(So she was just sulking all along!? ...Still, I can understand.)
Lambda:
I guess you're right. I shouldn't have bothered trying to spare your feelings.
Lambda:
Part of me still can't believe that's why I lost...
But, it is what it is.
Lambda:
...However...
Lambda:
Your little pleasure cruise isn't over just yet, Chaldeans.
Lambda:
Now that you've defeated me so thoroughly, I won't be satisfied until I get you back in at least one way.
Lambda:
Katsushika Hokusai. This time, I'm going to finish you off for good, one Swimsuit Swordmaster to another.
Lambda:
Are you ready to fight me? Or should I say...
Are you ready to fight your own heart?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Sure am.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Lambdaryllis, y'know earlier, when you were askin' me...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...what sort of pictures I wanna paint, and what kind of swordfighter I wanna be?
Katsushika Hokusai:
You had it right. I still didn't really understand what bein' a Swimsuit Swordmaster was all about.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I thought if ya wanted ta be the best swordfighter around, all ya had ta do was wear some armor and swing around some badass weapons.
Katsushika Hokusai:
But all the rest of you've just been goin' around dressing up however you like 'n doing whatever you please.
Katsushika Hokusai:
At first, I thought that playfulness was the Swimsuit Swordmasters' major flaw.
Katsushika Hokusai:
But I had it all wrong. We don't wear swimsuits 'cause it's summer.
Katsushika Hokusai:
We wear swimsuits 'cause it makes us stronger swordfighters!
Nero:
Really!?
Lambda:
(Yes. That's it, Katsushika Hokusai. You finally understand.)
Lambda:
(My plan might be dashed like so much sea foam, but at least this takes care of your request to me, Musashi.)
Katsushika Hokusai:
I was so busy thinkin' 'bout how I could look cool while swingin' my swords that I never stopped ta think about how I could also be artful.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Why wear swimsuits in the first place? Ta show off how beautiful our own bodies are!
Katsushika Hokusai:
If we Swimsuit Swordmasters are destined ta be beautiful, it's no damn wonder I fell for ya so hard.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I can't just beat you with the sword. I also gotta beat you in beauty! That's what art's all about, right?
Lambda:
So that's the conclusion you arrived at, hm? It's a nice thought, but unfortunately, not one I can get behind.
Lambda:
You're trying to be the best out of many possible bests...
Lambda:
...while I only care about myself being the best.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Yeah, I bet. That's just the kind of woman you are. So there's only one way left ta settle this!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Not all swordswomen wear flowers, but every woman is prepared to bear 'em!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'm Katsushika Hokusai, the swordfighter clad in blossoms! Get ready!
Lambda:
The Dragon Palace of the sea has no need for the flowers of land. This world is only big enough for one goddess, and you're looking at her.
Lambda:
I am Lambdaryllis; the great tsunami that covers the land, and the embodiment of the sea's seven elegies...
Lambda:
Come, and let us have a good, clean fight!
--BATTLE--
Fujimaru 1:
You did it, Hokusai!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hell yeah! Thanks for backin' me up, Master! How'd ya like my allurin' style!?
Fujimaru 2:
Sorry you lost, Melt...
Lambda:
What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to congratulate Hokusai here?
Lambda:
Still...that's not to say I don't appreciate your consideration.
Mash:
That was a wonderful duel! And since we won, we've managed to get through Suiten Palace too, haven't we!?
Mash:
Once again, we couldn't have done it without a lot of luck, and the help of our capable allies.
Mash:
Nero, Lip, thank you both so much. You helped us out more than I can say.
Nero:
Oh, that is quite all right! This turned out to be quite a nice workout for me! Plus, I now have a new performer friend in Lambda!
Nero:
If you ever wish to have a battle of the arts, all you need to do is say the word!
Passionlip:
Hehe. I already had plenty of fun smashing Melt's hopes and dreams, so you don't have to thank me.
Passionlip:
Besides, the important thing is, I proved I'm still a better Alter Ego than Protea!
Katsushika Hokusai:
So what're you gonna do now, Lambda? Start the Suiten Palace over again from scratch?
Lambda:
Of course not. I've had quite enough of these sorts of slow and laborious plans.
Lambda:
As long as you manage to keep winning, I don't see any need to stick my own neck out further.
Lambda:
No, I'm just going to go back to being the prima donna I was born to be.
Lambda:
I'll even help you all out too, though only a little. I still have my shows to do during the day, after all.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ha, no thanks. With Toto-sama around, the last thing's I need's another sea monster helpin' me out.
D：Lambda:
I can understand that. After all, why bring in a tsunami when you already have a waterfall?
D：Lambda:
But that's just how we artists are. If you aren't jealous of others, it means you don't have any room left to grow.
D：Lambda:
So let's just keep our real feelings bottled up and pretend to get along swimmingly, shall we?
Fourth Casino "Casino DE Rakuichi Rakuza"
???:
...There.
???:
...So that's the Las Vegas I've been hearing so much about.
???:
...
???:
...Looks like I don't have much time left.
???:
...
???:
Come on, body... Hang in there!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Huh? I don't think we've been to this casino before.
Mash:
Its decor kind of looks Japanese.
Katsushika Hokusai:
It does seem kinda familiar, but it also feels like there's somethin'...different 'bout this place compared ta other casinos.
Katsushika Hokusai:
It kinda smells like a totally different beast somehow? Like there's somethin'...funky about the whole thing...
Fou:
Fou fou.
Food Stall Worker:
Welcome, welcome! Come on in! We got die-cut candy! Fortune-telling! Goldfish scooping!
Food Stall Worker:
And don't forget to try the deep-fried butter!
Osakabehime:
Die-cut candy? Goldfish scooping? These sure aren't the kind of shops I usually associate with Las Vegas...
Osakabehime:
Except for deep-fried butter. That sounds pretty American.
Carmilla:
Deep-fried butter? Is that...even safe to eat?
Mash:
Um, I think an article I read somewhere said that deep-fried butter...
Mash:
...is a festival food made by coating a frozen stick of butter with honey and cinnamon batter, deep-frying it, and topping it with sugar glaze before serving.
Lambda:
Really? Breading and deep-frying butter? So the concept of counting calories is just...lost on the people here?
Lambda:
Not that I have to worry about gaining weight myself, since I'm originally a digital life-form. (Munch munch)
Fujimaru 1:
Unfair.
Fujimaru 2:
Super unfair.
H：Ruffian:
Well, well, haven't seen you around here before, girlies. You know what this place is?
H：Ruffian:
This here's Casino de Rakuichi Rakuza, where outlaws and criminals of all stripes don't have to worry about the Summer Lion King breathing down our necks!
H：Ruffian:
Now that you're here, you're gonna do things our way...or else!
Carmilla:
My, my... This casino certainly knows how not to treat a lady. I hope you're ready to face the consequences.
Lambda:
The carnival games are fine, but this place is clearly scraping from the bottom of the barrel for its hired help.
Osakabehime:
Hmm. I guess this Japanese vibe's okay, but it still reeks of bad taste overall. It's like something out of the Azuchi-Momoyama period...
H：Ruffian:
You mouthing off to us, bitches!? Nobody mouths off to us and gets away with it! Get 'em!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ha! Ya hooligans couldn't even behave yourselves for five minutes, huh? Fine then, let's do this thing!
--BATTLE--
Ruffian:
W-we're sorry for how we acted...
Whatever you do, please, don't kill us!
Katsushika Hokusai:
When ya get right down ta it, most swordmasters come from Japan, right?
Katsushika Hokusai:
So it's pretty sad that you guys couldn't tell how strong we are even though ya work at a Japanese-style casino.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Though now that I mention it, I gotta wonder why there's no Swimsuit Swordmaster ta be found here.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Compared ta the battle royale and pharaoh places, this one's way–
Siegfried:
I think you're mistaken, Hokusai. It's very possible that there's a Swimsuit Swordmaster here.
Mash:
I agree.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Huh? Why's that?
B：Katsushika Hokusai:
Ack! Not you too, Toto-sama! Don't tell me I'm the only one who's still in the dark here!
Mash:
Honestly, I found it odd from the start. We're supposed to fight in the Seven Duels of Swordbeauties, right?
Mash:
Our first match against Iori was, well, the first.
Mash:
But then, the Summer Lion King only told us to fight the Swimsuit Swordmasters who ran the five casinos.
Fujimaru 1:
Yeah. It didn't add up. (Knew all along)
Fujimaru 2:
Yeah... It didn't add up! (Just realized now)
Katsushika Hokusai:
It didn't? Lessee. One, two, three... Oh man, you're right! There's one missin'!
Mash:
Right. So I thought there might be another Swimsuit Swordmaster besides the ones who run the casinos.
Siegfried:
I also thought the Summer Lion King might be planning to have the two of us fight.
Siegfried:
But if that were the case...
Siegfried:
...she could have just had us do so right after your first duel with Iori.
Siegfried:
Since she didn't, I have to think she meant for you to duel someone else.
Osakabehime:
Yeah, I could see that. I heard there're stray Swimsuit Swordmasters out there besides those of us who run the main casinos too.
Osakabehime:
Maybe the Summer Lion King wants you to beat someone else besides the official ones, and doesn't care who it is?
Osakabehime:
If you don't find one, then she can always go with the backup plan of pitting you and your Dragon Slayer heavy against each other.
Osakabehime:
Either way, she's not gonna checkmate you anytime soon.
Fujimaru 1:
That does sound plausible.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Unfortunately, I'm embarrassed to say that I still haven't finished gathering information about any Swimsuit Swordmasters of that sort.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I'm so sorry...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ah, don't worry 'bout it. In that case, we just gotta ask 'round here.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hey, you. Is there a Swimsuit Swordmaster in this place?
Ruffian:
A...Swimsuit Swordmaster? Sorry, I've never heard of anyone like that...
Carmilla:
Then who runs this casino?
Ruffian:
Oh, that'd be Casino Demon King Nobunaga, of course. She's the one who started Rakuichi Rakuza in the first place.
Mash:
Nobunaga? Does that mean she's...?
Lambda:
Eh, we'll find out when we get to her. So where can we find this Casino Demon King?
Ruffian:
Uh, I think she said she was gonna assemble her Swimsuit Daimyo, who control the Rakuichi Rakuza, and go to revolt against the Summer Lion King...
Osakabehime:
S-Swimsuit Daimyo? As if Swimsuit Swordmasters weren't enough as it is...
Osakabehime:
Anyway, it sure sounds like this Casino Demon King is this other Swimsuit Swordmaster!
Fou:
Fou fou!
Katsushika Hokusai:
What about these Swimsuit Daimyo? What're they like?
Ruffian:
Th-the Swimsuit Daimyo, huh...
Ruffian:
First up, there's the mad dog of Tosa who's racked up so much gambling debt he's practically at death's door...
Ruffian:
“Debt Man Walking” Izo!
Ruffian:
Then there's the two most ruthless dice sharks in all of Vegas...
Ruffian:
Orochi Oryou and Bailong Sakamoto!
Ruffian:
Next, we got the daimyo who just showed up 'cause she was bored and wanted to try deep-fried butter, and the one who likes to put off her Counter Force assignments until the last day of summer vacation...
Ruffian:
Ms. Majin & Ms. Chacha!
Ruffian:
Finally, there're the bloodthirsty newcomers who like to chop off heads like the Warring States never went out of style!
Ruffian:
The Carnages of War!
Ruffian:
So yeah, each of Lady Nobunaga's Swimsuit Daimyo heads up one of the casino's different sections.
Carmilla:
Putting aside that I have no idea where to even begin with all that...it's going to be troublesome dealing with all these daimyo.
Carmilla:
Even the best phantom thief can still only steal one thing at a time.
Carmilla:
Here's an idea. Why don't we split up, take down these daimyo people separately, and save ourselves some time?
Lambda:
That would certainly be more efficient. Besides, they're strays. They can't hope to hold a candle to us.
Lambda:
Fujimaru, you can take care of this so-called Casino Demon King.
Osakabehime:
So we'll be doing a simultaneous divide and conquer? Hmm, that sounds pretty strategic!
Siegfried:
Sounds good. Then let's split up and get to work.
Katsushika Hokusai:
This is great! I love how we're all movin' so fast while stayin' on the same page! All right, let's go get 'em!
Fujimaru 1:
Let's do it!
Fujimaru 2:
Just be careful out there, guys!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hm? Say, where's Lady Iori? Don't tell me she still ain't back?
Mash:
No, she rejoined us after we beat Suiten Palace. I could have sworn she was right here with us a moment ago...
Mash:
Where could she have gotten off to?
Casino Demon King:
Heh...
Casino Demon King:
So, these Swimsuit Swordmasters have finally come.
Casino Demon King:
You know, I feel like I did something similar recently. Must've been one of those midsummer night dreams.
Casino Demon King:
Anyway, with the power of my Swimsuit Daimyo at my command, I'll defeat this Summer Lion King lady myself...
Casino Demon King:
And then, all of Las Vegas will be mine!
Casino Demon King:
Hahahahahahaha!
Oda Nobukatsu:
C-come quick, Sister! It's the Swimsuit Daimyo! They–
Casino Demon King:
Keep it down, Nobukatsu. No need to shout.
Casino Demon King:
Now, what about the Swimsuit Daimyo?
Oda Nobukatsu:
You know, now that I think of it, why do we call them Swimsuit Daimyo when none of them are wearing swimsuits?
Casino Demon King:
Never mind that now. What happened?
Oda Nobukatsu:
W-well, they–!
H：Casino Demon King:
Hm? What's that strange engine roar...?
???:
...There you are.
H：Casino Demon King:
Y-you!? No... It can't be!
Carmilla:
Well, well. And after all the trouble I went took to track down this fabled Swimsuit Daimyo's hideout...
Carmilla:
Whoever did this, I'm impressed they managed to beat a phantom thief to the punch...
Debt Man Walking Izo:
Sh-she came from the sky... I couldn't do a thing against her! J-J...!
Lambda:
I see you've already had company.
Orochi Oryou:
O-Oryou was having a frog frappé... Oryou never even saw her coming...
Orochi Oryou:
O-Oryou will never live this down as long as Oryou lives...
Bailong Sakamoto:
Don't feel bad, Oryou. There was nothing we could have done against her.
Bailong Sakamoto:
For multiple reasons...
Siegfried:
I'm sorry to bother you when you've already been defeated, but could you tell me what happened?
God of War!:
She got me while my guard was down... I knew I should have been more careful when going to the bathroom!
Oni Musashi:
Hahahaha! I couldn't even tell what was happening before I started bleeding from my head!
Osakabehime:
Yosh, so far so good!
...Wait. Huh?
Osakabehime:
Am I interrupting something?
G：Ms. Majin:
I can't believe it. I just stepped out for a while to buy some deep-fried butter, only to find Lady Chacha like this when I returned... Who did this to you, Lady Chacha?
Chacha:
I-it was...
Chacha:
...J!
Fourth Casino "The Name Is 'J'"
Mash:
This is where the Casino Demon King who runs Rakuichi Rakuza lives!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
This is horrific...
Fujimaru 1:
What happened here!?
Fujimaru 2:
Did someone already take them out!?
Casino Demon King:
G-get out of here, Fujimaru...
Casino Demon King:
This casino is done for...!
Mash:
Demon King Nobunaga... Can you tell us what happened?
Casino Demon King:
Well, I opened Casino de Rakuichi Rakuza so anyone could enjoy gambling without paying protection fees...
Mash:
Huh? You mean you weren't gathering Swimsuit Daimyo to challenge the Summer Lion King for control of Las Vegas?
Casino Demon King:
Oh, you already know about that, huh?
Casino Demon King:
Yeah, I was kind of jealous that the Summer Lion King got a yacht...
Casino Demon King:
...so I decided I was going to take it for myself.
Casino Demon King:
That's why I was running this casino out here, but then–
Katsushika Hokusai:
H-huh? What's that sound!?
Casino Demon King:
Oh no! She's here!
D：Okita?:
I see it's time to break out my jetpack once again!
D：Okita?:
Trying to open a gambling hall without getting permission from the authorities? Outrageous!
D：Okita?:
The heavens might let you get away with this, but the Shinsengumi will not!
D：Okita?:
I, Swimsuit Swordmaster Okita J. Souji, will see that you are all dealt with swiftly!
Fujimaru 1:
Okita, that outfit...
Fujimaru 2:
What the heck did I just hear? “Jetpack”?
Okita J. Souji:
M-Master!? What are you doing here!?
Mash:
Okita, um, putting that swimsuit you're wearing aside...
Mash:
What is that you're wearing on your back?
Okita J. Souji:
W-well, uh... You see...
Katsushika Hokusai:
That contraption how you're zipping 'round in the air? I never seen anything so bizarre.
Okita J. Souji:
Y-you've got it wrong! I'm no longer the Okita Souji you know, Master!
Okita J. Souji:
As the wielder of Jet Tennen Rishinryu, I am the strongest swimsuited swordfighter of the Bakumatsu era...
Okita J. Souji:
Okita J. Souji!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Okita J. Souji... Where in the world did you come from? That “J” in your name does have a nice ring to it, though.
Casino Demon King:
Are you kidding? It's just plain dorky. Not a hint of wabi or sabi to it.
Okita J. Souji:
Jet Sandanzuki!
Casino Demon King:
Gaah! A Demon King killer!?
Okita J. Souji:
...Anyway, Master, I have my reasons why I can't back down from this Swordbeauties match...
Okita J. Souji:
...even if it means I have to fight you, too!
Okita J. Souji:
Besides, my scanner is picking up Swimsuit Swordmaster particles...
Okita J. Souji:
You! The one with four katana! You're a Swimsuit Swordmaster too, aren't you!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I sure am! I'm the immovable Swimsuit Swordmaster, Katsushika Hokusai!
Okita J. Souji:
Then we can cut right to the chase!
Okita J. Souji:
I, Okita J. Souji, Swimsuit Swordmaster of Jet Tennen Rishinryu, shall be your opponent! Have at you!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I dunno what this is all about, but I guess we're doin' this now, huh!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
All right then, you got it! Let's have a good, clean fight!
Mister Mystery:
Oh wow, interesting. I didn't know candy apples could turn your tongue red.
Mister Mystery:
I just wish I could actually taste it, too. Though they do seem like they'd be right up Altria's alley...
Mister Mystery:
Oh, it looks like Fujimaru's crew is here, too. I wasn't expecting them to fight just yet...
Mister Mystery:
...but it does look like it'll be a fun battle. I think I'll stay and watch in person for once.
--BATTLE--
Katsushika Hokusai:
She's fast! Really fast! When it comes ta pure speed, she's got all the other Swimsuit Swordmasters beat!
Katsushika Hokusai:
But I trained my swordplay with quick and accurate brushwork! I'm sure I can keep up with her!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Just a little more, and I'll have her pinned down!
Okita J. Souji:
I see... I thought you were a rank amateur at first, but those four swords of yours clearly aren't just for show.
Okita J. Souji:
Then it looks like I'll have to get serious about this too.
Okita J. Souji:
Releasing limiters!
Okita J. Souji:
Get ready! I'm going to end it with this final attack!
Okita J. Souji:
Hang in there, body...!
Okita J. Souji:
M-Drive Full Burst!
Okita J. Souji:
Jet Sandanzuki!!!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Bring it! A real woman never backs down from a fight!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Kirifuri, Kannon, Aoi, Rouben, Yoshitsune, Yourou, Ono, Amida!
Katsushika Hokusai:
A Tour of Waterfalls in Various Provinces!
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Ghh! I can't believe how strong that attack was. Those jetpack thingies really are somethin'.
Okita J. Souji:
Don't be so modest. Your swordplay was truly magnifi...
Okita J. Souji:
...cent...
Fujimaru 1:
Okita!?
Okita J. Souji:
M-Master...
Fujimaru 2:
Okita J. Souji!?
Okita J. Souji:
I'm sorry, I just can't used to being called that...
Mash:
I still don't understand how you became a Swimsuit Swordmaster, Okita. I thought you were still at Chaldea.
Okita J. Souji:
W-well, there's a very good reason for how I got here. Though I should warn you, it's kind of a long story...
Okita J. Souji:
(Fwooo woo woo woom)
Casino Demon King:
Huh? We're doing the flashback thing now?
Summer Okita:
Hmm hm hmmm♪
Summer Okita:
Wooo! Summer Okita finally wins!
Summer Okita:
It's been so long since I started searching for a swimsuit of my own... So very, very long...
Summer Okita:
These were trying, painful times, especially with Nobbu always fanning the flames.
Summer Okita:
But now that I finally have one, none of that matters!
Summer Okita:
Yes, at last... At long last...!
Summer Okita:
This is the year I make my swimsuit debut!
Summer Okita:
The only problem is that I'm just too beautiful! I mean, look at this ribbon! It's so cute!
Summer Okita:
Hehehehe...! I can't wait to hear what Master and Nobbu and all the others have to say...
Summer Nobbu:
Gah! Okita!? When did you get such an awesome swimsuit!?
Summer Nobbu:
It's so damn cute I don't deserve to be in the same room as you!!!
Summer Okita:
Hehehe. Right? Right?
Summer Okita:
So you finally realized the truth, Nitwit Nobbu?
Summer Okita:
The fact is, now that I've got a swimsuit, it's no exaggeration to say I'm the strongest AND most beautiful Shinsengumi☆Girl in the whole Bakumatsu era!
Summer Nobbu:
Dammit! I thought the best kind of swimsuit you could manage would be some dumb T-shirt, like me!
Summer Nobbu:
How could I have been so foolish? Your swimsuit isn't just good, it's the cutest one of the century!
Chacha:
Auntie's right! It might just look amazingly good! Even Chacha has to take Chacha's hat–uh, helmet off to you!
Chacha:
This helmet His Imperial Highness gave Chacha gets so sweaty in the summer, you have no idea...
Okita Alter:
You really are the better of us, Original Me. Your swimsuit form is perfect beyond words.
Okita Alter:
Just be careful. You're so pretty that you might end up a Counter Force target.
Nagao Kagetora:
You just radiate with splendor... Forget Bishamonten. You're like the avatar of Benzaiten, the goddess of beauty.
Nagao Kagetora:
I bet you'll easily end up with a bunch of amazing Myth-level passive skills, like A+ Divinity!
Mori Nagayoshi:
Hahahahaha! What's with that outfit? You look fancy as anything!
Mori Nagayoshi:
I bet even Rikyu himself'd be tap-dancing in bare feet if he saw you now!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Heh... I can't believe I never noticed just how attractive you are until now.
Hijikata Toshizo:
I feel like I've been shot straight through the heart. Why did you always dress so modestly, dammit?
Hijikata Toshizo:
Then again, I should've known Okita Souji, Captain of the Shinsengumi's First Unit, always had this in her. Hey, here's a thought. What about changing your name to Dynamite☆Okita?
Sakamoto Ryouma:
It's true. You're the most transcendent beauty I've ever laid eyes on. It's clear that the day doesn't really start in Japan unless you're there to start it.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
You think so too, right, Oryou?
Oryou:
Yeah. You're way too beautiful for a human swordswoman. Are you some kind of extra special angel from the heavens?
Oryou:
Here, Oryou will give you a whole case of frogs to celebrate.
Okada Izo:
Man, no wonder you're the strongest and prettiest Bakumatsu swordswoman! Why, compared to you, I'm just a weak, pathetic little man-slayer!
Okada Izo:
Let me just kneel before you! Shall I massage your feet?
Summer Okita:
Please, stop, everyone. You're embarrassing me.
Summer Okita:
Still, if that's what you really think, I guess you can't all be wrong!
Summer Okita:
I mean, my swimsuited figure IS too wonderful for words, if I do say so myself!
Summer Nobbu:
It sure is, Okita! I gotta say it again: Me and my dumb T-shirt don't hold a candle to you!
Summer Nobbu:
Come on, everyone! Let's all give Lady Okita the praise she deserves for being the most beautiful genius swimsuit-clad swordswoman ever!
Summer Nobbu:
A round of applause for Okita in her swimsuit! Congratulations!
Everyone:
Congratulations! Congratulations!
Everyone:
Congratulations! Congratulations!
Everyone:
Congratulations! Congratulations!
Summer Okita:
Thank you, everyone! Thank you!
Summer Okita:
Thank you, Bakumatsu era! Thank you, everyone in the Shinsengumi!
Summer Okita:
Thank you for being part of Summer Okita's big, great, GRAND VICTORY!!!
Summer Okita:
Yes! That's exactly how it's going to turn out!
Summer Okita:
Hm hm hmm♪
Summer Okita:
Ooh, I can't wait any longer! I'm gonna go show everyone my new swimsuit right now!
Heroine XX:
Man! I can't believe there was a Galactic Police call right after I added hot water to my cup noodles!
Heroine XX:
It's a good thing I'm such an awesome space detective that it only took me three minutes to eradicate the target!
Heroine XX:
Now that I've saved the universe from yet another threat, I'm sure to get an amazing bonus this year!
Heroine XX:
Not to mention, I made it back soon enough that my noodles shouldn't be soggy yet!
Heroine XX:
Hang in there, my last cup noodles of the month! I'm coming for you!
Summer Okita:
Hmm hm hmmm♪
Summer Okita:
Aah!
Heroine XX:
Cup noodles, cup noodles♪
Heroine XX:
Huh!?
Heroine XX:
Ow ow ow... S-sorry about that. I was in such a hurry I didn't watch where I was going...
Heroine XX:
You're, um...Okita, right? I think we met in the room next to the boiler once?
E：Summer Okita:
...
Heroine XX:
Are you okay? It wasn't that hard a crash, and you don't seem to be injured...
E：Summer Okita:
...
Heroine XX:
Um, hello? Could you say something, please?
Heroine XX:
CQ? CQ? Anyone read me?
E：Summer Okita:
...
Heroine XX:
...O-oh no. Don't tell me...
E：Summer Okita:
...(Flatline beep)
Heroine XX:
Is sh-she dead!?
Heroine XX:
Oh man, now what am I gonna do...
Heroine XX:
My bonus is gonna drop like a rock if they find out I killed a noncombatant indigenous life-form...
Heroine XX:
Oh no. What if they cut it entirely!?
Heroine XX:
If I don't do something about this, I might not even be able to afford next month's batch of cup noodles!
Heroine XX:
All right, then! I'll just have to use all my Servantverse scientific knowledge to save her...somehow!
Heroine XX:
Maybe I can do something with my spare armor parts and this mysterious secret lab I just happened to stumble on...
Heroine XX:
No, no maybes! I WILL do something with them! You can do it, XX! I'm sure the paycheck gods will watch over you!
Heroine XX:
Forget the galactic disasters! If there's ever been a battle you can't afford to lose, it's this one!
Heroine XX:
All right, let's get this operation started!
Heroine XX:
Okay, let's put this part here...
Heroine XX:
...use this galaxy cell drive in place of life support equipment...
Heroine XX:
...and set this strange energy gem I found in a primitive universe as the power source.
Heroine XX:
Finally, I'll attach a reactor to this weirdly old-fashioned jetpack, and...
Heroine XX:
...I-I'm done!
Heroine XX:
Everything should now be perfect! Theoretically!
Heroine XX:
All right! Come back to me, my bonus–
Heroine XX:
I mean, newborn warrior!
Heroine XX:
Switch on! Vive la révolution!
B：???:
...Nnn...
Heroine XX:
I did it! It really worked!
B：???:
Huh!? Where am I...?
Heroine XX:
I'm glad you're awake. I'm, uh, a totally innocent passerby who just happened to find you collapsed in the hallway and fixed you up solely out of the goodness of my heart. Yep.
B：???:
O-oh, uh, thanks. That's very nice of you...
B：???:
I'm sorry to make you worry. I've always been kind of sickly, so it doesn't take much to make me faint.
Heroine XX:
Well THAT explains it. Now I feel even less bad.
Anyway, you don't have to worry about that anymore.
Heroine XX:
From now on, that jetpack will keep you nice and safe.
A：???:
O-oh, uh, thanks.
B：???:
That's very nice of...
Wait. Did you say “jetpack”?
A：???:
Huh!? Wh-what is this thing!?
A：???:
Is this...a jetpack!?
Heroine XX:
Specifically, it's a midair combat gadget with built-in life support.
Heroine XX:
It's a little outdated, but it should still be super OP given this planet's civilization level.
Heroine XX:
With a little practice, you might even be able to fight in outer space with it.
A：???:
Whoa, whoa, slow down! Why a jetpack of all things!?
A：???:
I might not look like it right now, but I'm still a beautiful orthodox swordswoman from Bakumatsu-era Japan!
A：???:
Wh-why is there a jetpack on my back!? How does that make sense!?
A：???:
Aah! I-I'm flying!?
Heroine XX:
Hahaha, well sure you are. It is a JETpack, after all.
Heroine XX:
You're a new woman, Okita Souji. You are now the flying swordfighter who zips across the azure skies...
Heroine XX:
...Okita J. Souji! (First thing that popped into her mind)
Okita J. Souji:
O-Okita J. Souji!?
Okita J. Souji:
Wait. Why's there a “J” in there!?
Heroine XX:
For “jet,” of course.
Okita J. Souji:
That's not my point! Argh, I can't go out in public like this! Here, you can have it back!
Okita J. Souji:
H-huh? Why won't it come off?
Heroine XX:
That's because it's also your new life-support system.
Heroine XX:
Let's see, according to the M-Drive reactor's instruction manual...
Heroine XX:
...the life support lasts for... Aaaaaah!
Okita J. Souji:
Wh-what? What is it?
Heroine XX:
I-I'm so sorry. I was in such a hurry that I didn't read the instruction manual carefully...
Heroine XX:
It says the life support only lasts for seventy-two more hours, or about three Earth days...
Okita J. Souji:
You didn't read the manual!? I'm not some plastic model! What if you'd gotten my legs mixed up–
Okita J. Souji:
...Wait. Only three days!?
Okita J. Souji:
You mean I only have three more days left to live!?
Heroine XX:
According to the manual, yes...
Heroine XX:
A-again, I'm really sorry. I was only trying to help. I never wanted this to happen...
Okita J. Souji:
Now what are we gonna do!?
Heroine XX:
P-please, try to stay calm!
Heroine XX:
Times like these, the best thing you can do is pour some hot water into a cup of noodles and have a think.
Heroine XX:
That's it! I've got it! We can use a Holy Grail! There's nothing they can't do!
Heroine XX:
And I'm pretty sure I remember someone saying if you win the Seven Duels of Swordbeauties in Las Vegas taking place as we speak...
Heroine XX:
...you can get a Holy Grail for yourself!
Okita J. Souji:
Th-the Seven Duels of Swordbeauties...?
Okita J. Souji:
...That's why I was trying to win the Seven Duels of Swordbeauties.
Okita J. Souji:
So I could get the Holy Grail and cure myself...
Fujimaru 1:
So you only have three days left to live!?
Fujimaru 2:
Th-this is awful...
Okita J. Souji:
What's more, between getting lost on the way here,
and carelessly getting yakisoba at the food stalls...
Okita J. Souji:
...I only have about ten more minutes left...
Casino Demon King:
I've heard of bad time management, but this is ridiculous!
Casino Demon King:
No yakisoba is worth wasting your precious last hours of life!
Casino Demon King:
Hm? Hang on. What does all that have to do with you wrecking my gambling hall?
Okita J. Souji:
Oh, that was just because Shinsengumically speaking, I couldn't let an unauthorized casino continue to operate.
Casino Demon King:
Yikes. This is exactly why I hate the man-slayers club.
Katsushika Hokusai:
That's awful. Why didn't you say somethin' sooner? If I'd only known, I'd've...
Okita J. Souji:
It's okay. Swordfighters already put their lives on the line whenever they face each other.
Okita J. Souji:
My condition had nothing to do with our fight. There's no right or wrong when it comes to a duel.
Okita J. Souji:
That's what it means to live by the sword. Remember that, Hokusai.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Okita J. Souji...
Okita J. Souji:
I'm sorry. It looks like my reactor's running low on power.
Okita J. Souji:
And I'm starting to have trouble seeing, too...
Okita J. Souji:
Master... Could I make one last request?
Fujimaru 1:
Anything, Okita...
Fujimaru 2:
Anything, Okita J. Souji...
Okita J. Souji:
...Could you help me see one last Las Vegas sunset before I go?
Fourth Casino "Farewell Jet Tennen Rishinryu"
Okita J. Souji:
...So this is a Las Vegas sunset. Beautiful...
Okita J. Souji:
...Hehe. If I have to go, I couldn't ask for a better way than to have all of you here with me.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Okita J. Souji...
Mash:
Okita J. Souji...
Okita J. Souji:
Well, it looks like this is it.
Okita J. Souji:
Once my jetpack's M-Drive shuts down, my life will go with it...
Fujimaru 1:
Okita...
Fujimaru 2:
J. Okita J. Souji J....
Okita J. Souji:
I'm sorry, those are two Js too many.
Okita J. Souji:
Hokusai... Your swords may still be unrefined, but I could see the gleam of a beautiful gem shining inside them.
Okita J. Souji:
Don't lose sight of that gleam. Make sure you polish it as brightly as you can.
Okita J. Souji:
I hope you go on to win all your other Swordbeauty matches.
Okita J. Souji:
If our duel helps you do that...I can go out happy...
Katsushika Hokusai:
I will, Okita J. Souji... I promise.
Okita J. Souji:
Thank you, Hokusai.
Okita J. Souji:
...Hehe. This wind feels really nice.
Okita J. Souji:
...
Okita J. Souji:
...
Casino Demon King:
Farewell, my lifelong rival!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Man, what a downer ta end a duel with...
Casino Demon King:
Don't worry. I'm sure she was happy that she got to duel a swordfighter like you before she passed...
Miyamoto Iori:
...Oh, there they are.
Miyamoto Iori:
Heeey! Guuuys!
Mash:
Iori? Where have you been all this time!?
Miyamoto Iori:
Well, I was feeling a little hungry, so I stopped by one of those food stalls to grab a bowl of udon...
Miyamoto Iori:
Say, is everything okay? Did something bad happen?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Well...
Heroine XX:
Man, that udon was way better than I expected.
Heroine XX:
I've never had a croquette as a topping before, but damn if it didn't hit the spot!
Heroine XX:
I've pretty much been living on cup noodles lately, so having udon was a nice change of pace.
Mash:
XX!?
Miyamoto Iori:
We ended up running into each other at the udon stand. She was all like:
Miyamoto Iori:
“You're a Saber, aren't you!? I can tell from your face! Huh? You're a Berserker? Mind if I sit next to you?”
Miyamoto Iori:
After that, we ended up getting along surprisingly well.
Miyamoto Iori:
So, what's going on here? Why's everyone so bummed?
Heroine XX:
...Huh? Oh hey, it's Okita J. Souji.
Heroine XX:
I'm glad I ran into you here. How's the jetpack been working for you?
Fujimaru 1:
I'm afraid Okita's, well...
Fujimaru 2:
I'm afraid Okita J. Souji's, well...
Casino Demon King:
She fought one last magnificent Swimsuit Swordmaster duel...
Casino Demon King:
But now, she's gone on to that great battlefield in the sky...
Heroine XX:
Huh? What are you talking about?
Casino Demon King:
What do you mean, what am I talking about!?
Casino Demon King:
If you hadn't installed that device that only gave her three days to live, Okita would still be...!
Heroine XX:
Three days? I don't get it.
Mash:
Okita J. Souji told us that her life-support equipment would only be operational for three days...
Heroine XX:
Ohhh, that. Now I gotcha.
Heroine XX:
Ehe, yeah, that was a big goof on my part, mixing up Galactic time and Earth time.
Heroine XX:
In Earth time, the reactor in her jetpack is easily good for seven-point-two million hours...
Heroine XX:
...or about eight hundred Earth years.
Heroine XX:
And when I took a better look at her physical logs, it turned out she hadn't even died to begin with.
Heroine XX:
My scanner just got the wrong idea thanks to her body's poor condition...
Heroine XX:
You know, my scanner's kind been on the fritz lately. I should really give it a serious overhaul.
Fujimaru 1:
Huh?
Fujimaru 2:
Then, does that mean Okita's actually...?
Okita J. Souji:
...
Casino Demon King:
Well then. Got anything to say for yourself, um...
What was it you called yourself again?
Casino Demon King:
The most beautiful swimsuit-clad swordswoman of the Bakumatsu era? Wielder of the Jet...something something Rishinryu?
Casino Demon King:
How about it, Okita J. Souji?
Okita J. Souji:
...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...
Mash:
...
Heroine XX:
...
Okita J. Souji:
...Waaah!
Okita J. Souji:
Prepare to die, Mysterious Heroine XX!
Heroine XX:
Whaaaaaat!?!?!?
--BATTLE--
Heroine XX:
I-I give up... You're right. This whole thing was my fault.
Heroine XX:
I'm so sorry I didn't read the instruction manual more closely. This isn't the first time, either...
Heroine XX:
My spaceship's always falling apart because I skip a few steps on maintenance. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now...
Okita J. Souji:
No, I'm just as much to blame as you are. I was so happy about my new swimsuit that I didn't watch where I was going.
Okita J. Souji:
I'm sorry for losing my temper...
Heroine XX:
No hard feelings?
Okita J. Souji:
No hard feelings! Even if it was over a misunderstanding, I'm grateful to you for saving me.
Heroine XX:
Thanks, Okita... Say, you're not a Saber anymore, are you? Now that you're an Assassin, I won't have to kill you!
Heroine XX:
From now on, I think you and I are going to get along just fine.
Heroine XX:
You know, now that you can fly around like this, maybe you could even help me with my missions!
Okita J. Souji:
You bet! As Okita J. Souji of Jet Tennen Rishinryu, it would be my pleasure!
Casino Demon King:
Good grief. I guess this is one of those instances of adversity bringing people together.
Casino Demon King:
All that aside, I still feel like I was unfairly maligned this time... Just me?
Heroine XX:
Now, let's get back to that udon stand, shall we? I think I'll add a curry combo while I'm at it!
Heroine XX:
My payday still be a ways away, but today, I'm going to treat myself!
Okita J. Souji:
Oh, before that, can you tell me how I can take this jetpack off?
Okita J. Souji:
Did the instruction manual say anything about it?
Heroine XX:
Oh, it doesn't come off.
Okita J. Souji:
Huh?
Heroine XX:
I attached it directly to your Spirit Origin, so it's never coming off as long as you wear that swimsuit.
Okita J. Souji:
Never?
Heroine XX:
Never.
Casino Demon King:
Heh... Hahahahahaha!
Casino Demon King:
Guess you really will be sticking around for some time to come, Okita J. Souji!
Okita J. Souji:
Jet Sandanzuki!
Casino Demon King:
Gaah! A Demon King killer!? For the second time today!?
Okita J. Souji:
Come on, XX, help me out here! There must be something you can do!
Okita J. Souji:
What happened to this amazing Servantverse scientific power you were talking about!?
Okita J. Souji:
Do you have any idea how much Mr. Hijikata's going to make fun of me if he sees me like this!?
Heroine XX:
Come on, look on the bright side. Thanks to that reactor, your body's never been healthier.
Heroine XX:
Plus, you'll get to live way longer than any normal human...
Heroine XX:
Oh, right, guess that doesn't matter for Heroic Spirits, huh? Well anyway, all's well that ends well!
Okita J. Souji:
This is NOT what I call ending well!
Heroine XX:
Oh, there's still the Holy Grail! This is exactly the sort of thing it's made for!
Heroine XX:
As long as we have the Holy Grail, I'm sure we can work something out!
Heroine XX:
Although, those things really are dangerous, aren't they? Causing revolts around the world... Making people the wisher doesn't like disappear...
Okita J. Souji:
Don't change the subject! Not unless you want me to cram this jetpack right down your throat!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Eesh. This turned out ta be a hell of an ordeal...
Katsushika Hokusai:
But anyway, everythin's all wrapped up neat and tidy now, yeah?
Mash:
I-I guess so. And at least we know that Okita will be okay now. Right, Senpai?
Fujimaru 1:
Yeah, there is that...
Fujimaru 2:
Let's just hope the GUDAGUDA in Vegas stays in Vegas...
Okita J. Souji:
Grr... All right! Now that I know I'm stuck with this jetpack, I'll help you out too, Master.
Okita J. Souji:
In exchange, if Hokusai manages to win all her matches...
Okita J. Souji:
...would you consider helping me get rid of this jetpack?
Katsushika Hokusai:
You bet! 'Sides, it's like they say: no road is long with good company, an' swimsuits make the world go round!
Katsushika Hokusai:
No, wait, that doesn't sound quite right.
Ah, whatever. The point is, we're glad ta have ya!
Mash:
At any rate, this takes care of our fifth Swimsuit Swordmaster match...even if it didn't quite go as we expected.
Mash:
Now, all we need to do is beat the ones who run the last two casinos, and that'll make seven!
Mash:
Let's keep this momentum going into the next casino!
Okita J. Souji:
The next casino, huh... Then it must be that one...
Casino Demon King:
You know something about it, Okita J. Souji?
Casino Demon King:
Not that it matters to me, since I don't have any reason to go there.
Okita J. Souji:
I do. It might look like an ordinary circus-themed casino at first, but you underestimate it at your peril.
Okita J. Souji:
It's called...Cirque du Requin!
Fifth Casino "Cirque du Requin"
Welcome...to Cirque du Requin.
Welcome to the greatest circus in the world, where miraculous feats will be performed before your very eyes!
I promise you all, tonight will be a night to remember!
Mephistopheles:
I am Mephistopheles, the leader of this fine circus.
Mephistopheles:
Oh, wait. Should that be ringleader? Ringmaster? Ah, who cares!
Mephistopheles:
Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.
Mephistopheles:
We begin with leaping through not a flaming hoop...but an electric hoop!
Edison:
Indeed. An alternating current hoop, specifically.
Grarrr!
Edison:
...As you can see, alternating current is extremely dangerous! Don't try this at home, kids!
Nikola Tesla:
There's nothing dangerous about it, you mangy plebeian! You just messed it up!
Edison:
Oh yeah? Then you give it a try, you pompous elitist!
Nikola Tesla:
You bet I will! Just watch me jump through this direct current hoop!
Nikola Tesla:
I'll just switch this to this... Get a running start, and... Yaaah!
Nikola Tesla:
Drat! My cape got snagged!
Edison:
Hahahahaha! What a lamebrain! What a maroon!
Fran:
...
...
Fran:
Hup, yah, hah!
Both:
...
...
Fran:
You both have a long way to go.
Both:
We've been shown up!!!
Mephistopheles:
Welcome!!!
Mephistopheles:
Next, we'll be taking in a little show within a show...
Mephistopheles:
...and watch as two delightful little girls pay a visit to Patchwork London.
Mephistopheles:
What is the evil that awaits them there?
Mephistopheles:
What is it they've come in search of so desperately?
Mephistopheles:
Make sure you stick around to the very end to find out!
Enjoy!
Mephistopheles:
Oh, yes.
Mephistopheles:
I trust this goes without saying, but video recording, photography, and the like are strictly prohibited.
Mephistopheles:
After all, it's not a real dream if you try to preserve it for posterity!
Mephistopheles:
And with that, let's begin.
Nursery Rhyme:
Hop! Skip! Dance the night away!
We're all going to the pot anyway!
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
Dolphin, O Dolphin, what is it you see, that makes you leap and squeak?
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
I cannot tell what it is you speak!
Nursery Rhyme:
Does everyone have their chocolate bars? Between me, you, and Mr. Dolphin, we have three all together!
Nursery Rhyme:
Now we're off to the moon for our picnic!
Napoleon:
Hold it, you two.
Napoleon:
It's a long, long way to the moon, don't you know?
Napoleon:
But if you give me a chocolate bar, I'll be glad to send you aaall the way there.
Both:
Take one! Take one!
Send us to the moon right now!
Napoleon:
You got it! All right, hop into my cannon!
Napoleon:
One little kaboom, and I'll have you there in no time!
Napoleon:
Here we go!
Napoleon:
Arc de Triomphe de l'Étoile!!!
Nursery Rhyme:
Huh? Are we on the moon now?
Nursery Rhyme:
I thought there were supposed to be bunnies here...
Nursery Rhyme:
...but I don't see so much as a single chicken!
Ishtar:
My, oh my, I'm so sorry to hear that!
You see, this is Venus.
Ishtar:
I guess your cannon must have overshot! You're not the first kids to wind up lost here like that.
Ishtar:
Anyway, welcome! We're glad to have you!
Ishtar:
After all, we can always use more workers!
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
Nooo!
Ishtar:
Hehehe, no more moon for you two. From now on, it's just work, work, work!
C：Automaton:
We love work. Work is fun. Work is life.
C：Automaton:
Happiness begins and ends with work.
Nursery Rhyme:
What do we do, what do we do!?
All we do here is work, work, work!
Nursery Rhyme:
There's no cannon to get back, and no Stupid Mr. Napoleon to shoot us out of it!
Nursery Rhyme:
Isn't there any way we can get to the moon!?
Ibaraki-Douji:
What's this? You two want to go to the moon?
Ibaraki-Douji:
Too bad! If you'd given me a chocolate bar, I'd've sent you there with a bang!
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
Then here, you can have mine! Please, send us to the moon!
Ibaraki-Douji:
You got it.
(Nom nom)
Ibaraki-Douji:
Yummy!
Ibaraki-Douji:
All right, come here! I'll send you to the moon with one blast of Mt. Ooe Fireworks!
Ibaraki-Douji:
Here goes!
Ibaraki-Douji:
Encomium Moriae!
Nursery Rhyme:
We're here!
Oh my. Is this what the moon looks like?
Artemis:
Why yes, it is.
Artemis:
A delightful dreamlike moon world is waiting for you just up ahead!
Artemis:
However, I have to ask:
Do you two have any chocolate bars?
Artemis:
Because it costs one chocolate bar per person to get into the moon world!
Nursery Rhyme:
Oh no! Now what do we do? We only have one chocolate bar left!
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
Then one of us will have to stay behind. Artemis, please take Nursery to the moon world. I'll go back.
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
Have fun on the moon, Nursery!
Nursery Rhyme:
Goodness no, I can't do that!
Nursery Rhyme:
If you're not going, Jeanne, I'm not going either. Let's go back to the pot together!
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
Mr. Dolphin? What are you doing with that chocolate bar?
Both:
Ah! It snapped in half!
Orion:
Heh heh hehe. Nice job, dolphin! You figured out how to make one chocolate bar into two!
Orion:
You don't have a problem with that, do you, Artemis?
Artemis:
Not at all. Come on then, you two! You're both invited to the moon world!
Nursery Rhyme:
Thank you, Mr. Dolphin! Thank you!
Nursery Rhyme:
That picnic was so much fun! But, it feels like something's missing...
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
You too, Nursery? I was just thinking the same thing!
Nursery Rhyme:
That's it! It's her!
Nursery Rhyme:
We have to get back to the pot right away!
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
Yeah, you're right.
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
We can always come back to the moon world with more chocolate bars tomorrow!
Nursery Rhyme:
Yes! And next time, we'll bring lots and lots of them!
Nursery Rhyme:
We can bring Stupid Mr. Napoleon, and Mean-and-Nasty Ms. Ishtar...
Nursery Rhyme:
...and Greedy Ms. Oni Ibaraki-Douji, and of course, Mr. Dolphin.
Nursery Rhyme:
And then, we can all have a picnic together!
Jack:
Dad, Dad! Can we ask you for something!?
Sanson:
Oh? What is it, my little ange?
All Three:
Can you give us lots and lots of chocolate so we can all go to the moon?
Fujimaru 1:
That was great!
Mash:
Yes, it was a wonderful experience! Although, what was it, exactly?
Mash:
It was like...a musical that was also a circus? I'm not quite sure how to describe it.
Mash:
I wonder what they did for Napoleon's cannon and Ibaraki's fireworks?
B：Da Vinci:
I'm guessing they probably used magecraft to expand the nearby space just for those parts.
B：Da Vinci:
A Caster like Mephistopheles could have helped them with that.
Goredolf:
Indeed. While that sort of thing would be within a mage's capacity, I doubt any spatial expansion they come up with could stand up to a Noble Phantasm.
Goredolf:
...Though really, I still don't understand why Servants are putting on a play in the first place...
Goredolf:
Is that what the kids are into these days...?
D：Da Vinci:
I'm guessing they probably used magecraft to expand the nearby space just for those parts.
D：Da Vinci:
A Caster like Mephistopheles could have helped them with that.
D：Da Vinci:
It was an impressive trick. Something only a Servant could pull off.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Man... I never thought about usin' my Noble Phantasm as an artistic expression. This has been real educational.
Katsushika Hokusai:
It got Toto-sama fired up, too.
Hm? Feel like paintin' somethin'?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Sure! Once this is all over, I'll help ya out no prob!
Katsushika Hokusai:
So first, I gotta take care of one more Swimsuit Swordmaster!
Mash:
Yes. That's why we came to the Cirque du Requin casino in the first place.
Fujimaru 1:
It's about time we challenged Jeanne to a match.
Miyamoto Iori:
Well, given everything that's happened so far, I doubt it'll exactly be straightforward...
Katsushika Hokusai:
If we'd let that stop us before, we wouldn't be here now.
Siegfried:
Anyway, let's go apply for a meeting. Excuse me, you there.
Marie:
Welcome to the Cirque du Requin Casino!
Oh, my oh my.
Marie:
Are you here to challenge the Swimsuit Swordmaster?
Fujimaru 1:
We sure are.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'll be the one doin' the challenging!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'm Katsushika Oui...I mean, Katsushika Hokusai, the great swordfighter and famous ukiyo-e artist!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Now go on and take us ta the Swimsuit Swordmaster!
Marie:
Hmm. You're supposed to bring a letter of challenge with you...
Marie:
But, I guess it's okay. There haven't been any challengers lately, so Jeanne's been feeling kind of lonely!
Marie:
Just give me a few minutes, okay? It would be very bad if a certain someone got too hungry!
All:
A certain someone?
Fujimaru 1:
You mean...Jeanne?
Marie:
Hehe.
Marie:
I know Jeanne is a big eater, but she'd never cause that much ruckus just because she was hungry.
Fujimaru 2:
Who could she mean...?
Marie:
Well, I'm sure it'll be okay. Jeanne should hold her back by force if necessary!
Jeanne:
Hehehe. There there, be good.
Jeanne:
It looks like we have a Swimsuit Swordmaster challenger. Let's give them a good fight, okay?
Marie:
Jeaaanne. Jeaaannne! Is everything okay now?
Jeanne:
Yes, Marie, everything's fine! What did you want to see me about?
Marie:
I was just showing these new challengers the way!
Marie:
How's the tummy?
Jeanne:
Oh the tummy's just fine. We've just had plenty to eat.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I don't know what they're talkin' about, and I'm gettin' chills down my spine for some reason...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...but I wouldn't be an Edoite if I turned and ran now!
Hey! I'm here to challenge–
Jeanne:
Hello!
B：???:
Play with me.
Katsushika Hokusai:
you...
Mash:
...
...
Siegfried:
...
...
Miyamoto Iori:
...
...
Fujimaru 1:
Retreeeaaat!!!
Jeanne:
Thanks so much for coming! Welcome to the Cirque du Requin Casi–
Jeanne:
Huh?
Marie:
I'm sorry, Jeanne. They just left.
Jeanne:
Not again...
Jeanne:
Why do all my challengers run away before we even have a chance to fight!?
Marie:
If you ask me, I think it might be a certain someone's fault...
Jeanne:
Who, this little guy? But Reece XP is cute, no?
Reece XP:
Play with me.
Marie:
Oh yes, perfectly adorable!
Don't you think so too, d'Eon?
d'Eon:
With all due respect, Your Majesty, I would refrain from comment!
Both:
Aww.
d'Eon:
Why do you both look so disappointed!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Gasp, gasp...)
Mash:
(Huff, huff...)
Fujimaru 1:
Nopenopenopenopenope...
Siegfried:
Agreed... There is no way...we can fight...THAT...
Goredolf:
Was I hallucinating...
Goredolf:
...or did a shark floating in midair really look at us with its lifeless eyes and say “Play with me”?
D：Da Vinci:
Hmm, what can I say? Life is full of mysteries♡
Goredolf:
That's not a real answer, and you know it!
Fujimaru 2:
Seriously, what was Saint Airhead thinking!?
Siegfried:
I had heard that Summer Jeanne was a little...different from her usual self...
Siegfried:
But I still never imagined she was THAT different...
Goredolf:
Forget having a screw loose! I'm not so sure there's any screws left in there at all!
Goredolf:
I mean, partnering with a shark!? And what looks to be a great white, at that!?
Fujimaru 1:
Nopenopenopenopenope...
Siegfried:
Agreed... There is no way...we can fight...THAT...
C：Da Vinci:
Of all the aquatic life she could have partnered with, I never expected a shark...
Fujimaru 2:
Seriously, what was Saint Airhead thinking!?
Siegfried:
I had heard that Summer Jeanne was a little...different from her usual self...
Siegfried:
But I still never imagined she was THAT different...
C：Da Vinci:
Hmm. Guess we'll just have to be even more careful going into this fight than we thought!
Lambda:
Ugh, what are you all so scared of? Could you be any more pathetic?
Lambda:
So what if her dolphin was switched out for a shark? It's not like she's any different herself.
Lambda:
Well, if you're going to be so hopeless, I guess I'll have to help you out. I'll make sure you pay me back later.
Fujimaru 1:
Mysterious Meltryllis!
Lambda:
Never mind the “mysterious.” Also, don't use my real name in public. The paparazzi have ears everywhere.
Fujimaru 2:
I was wondering where you were.
Lambda:
I was watching their combination circus musical from the VIP stand. I was curious to see what it was like.
Lambda:
I guess I can see why people like it. It was certainly big and flashy, like a Hollywood blockbuster.
Lambda:
But, we all know it won't last. There's no better summer Vegas entertainment than a classy figure skating show.
Lambda:
Anyway... Fujimaru, Hokusai, if you're going up against a shark, then you're going to want my help.
Lambda:
There is no creature from the sea that wouldn't submit to me!
Miyamoto Iori:
Oh, yeah, good point.
Miyamoto Iori:
Really, when you stop to think about it, it's just a shark, right? It shouldn't be THAT hard to deal with.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I dunno... I've never seen a shark float in midair before...
Fujimaru 1:
The dolphin did that too..
Lambda:
Come on then, let's go back.
Lambda:
With my Leviathan Authority at my command, that shark may as well be a minnow.
Lambda:
Now come on! I'm going to show them what it means to truly dominate the ocean!
Osakabehime:
(“Despite sensing a branch to a bad ending opening up, Batty decided to keep her mouth shut.”)
Carmilla:
I'm betting they're going to lose this one hard. Care to take me up on it?
Osakabehime:
Mouth! Urushut!
Lambda:
?
Marie:
Oh good, you came back! And here I thought you'd left for good.
Lambda:
As if I would ever do that. No, I'm helping them as their stand-in bodyguard.
Lambda:
The fifth Swimsuit Swordmaster's head is going to be Mysterious Alter Ego Lambda's for the taking.
Lambda:
I don't care if she's got a shark or a giant squid. I'll have it filleted and ready for sale with just one kick.
Fujimaru 1:
I've got a really bad feeling about this...
Lambda:
What's with that look? You don't think I can do this?
Fujimaru 2:
Hey, um, are you sure you don't want to try this again later?
Lambda:
Hm? You're being weirdly cautious about this. Are you scared of sharks or something?
d'Eon:
...Very well then. I suggest you steel yourself for what is to come.
Lambda:
I don't know why I'd possibly need to do that, but fine, whatever you say.
Lambda:
I certainly have no qualms about having the famous saint Jeanne d'Arc as my dance partne–
Jeanne:
You're wrong there. I'm not a saint at all.
Fujimaru 1:
Aaah! She's here!
Jeanne:
Oh come now, don't look at me like that. You don't want your big sister to be sad, do you?
Jeanne:
...As I was saying, I'm not a saint by any means.
Lambda:
Oh really? Then do tell, what are you?
Jeanne:
I just mentioned it. I am Fujimaru's...
Jeanne:
...big sister.
Lambda:
Is that so. I see.
Lambda:
...
...Big sister?
Lambda:
Um... I'm sorry, I don't understand.
Lambda:
You're a Heroic Spirit, right? And a Servant? Not to mention you weren't even born in the same country?
Siegfried:
Are you all right, Master?
You look pale...
Fujimaru 1:
Now she mentions it...I think she might be right!
Fujimaru 2:
You know, I get the feeling she really is my big sister!
Miyamoto Iori:
Big sister, huh.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Huh, so you're Fujimaru's big sister.
All:
How!?
Jeanne:
This is so sad. I can't believe I have to fight my own little [♂ brother /♀ sister]!
Jeanne:
But, I guess there's nothing we can do about that now.
Jeanne:
I guess I'll just have to pound it into–I mean, gently show you that a little [♂ brother /♀ sister] can never hope to beat
[♂ his /♀ her] big sister!
Osakabehime:
Did she just let her true feelings slip!? Oh man, she's the same type as Mecha Eli-chan, isn't she?
Katsushika Hokusai:
What in the world's all this mean!?
Carmilla:
It means she'll do whatever it takes to win, even if she's fighting her own family!
Jeanne:
All right, here I come.
Jeanne:
Big Sister Beam!!!
Lambda:
What the–Aaah! Wh-what kind of beam is that!?
Jeanne:
It's a beam born of my love for my little [♂ brother /♀ sister]!
Jeanne:
It makes it so every one of [♂ his /♀ her] Master Skills will be used on me.
Jeanne:
Evade! Enhance! Recover! Ooh, you've made your big sister so happy!
Jeanne:
Now it's your turn, Reece XP!
Go ahead and chomp them up!
Jeanne:
That's it! Ma-jaws-tic!
All:
...
...
Lambda:
Are all beach saints soft in the head like this!? Does the salt air rust their brains or something!?
Lambda:
And don't even get me started on that pun! That was even harder to listen to than the dragon girl's singing!
Jeanne:
C-come on, it couldn't have been THAT bad!
Lambda:
Hey! Don't you hide behind me, Master! Her eyes are freaking me out!
Fujimaru 1:
I can't help it. I have to hide to avoid turning into her [♂ brother /♀ sister]!
Fujimaru 2:
But if I look her in the eye, she'll turn me into her little ...!
Lambda:
So she brainwashed you? She did, didn't she!? Not even BB would go that far!
Lambda:
Khh... All right, I guess we don't have a choice then.
Lambda:
All of you, get Master to fall back. We'll have to settle this Servant to Servant!
Jeanne:
Oh no you don't. Good little [♂ brothers /♀ sisters] know to listen to their big sister!
Jeanne:
Wum wum wum!
Fujimaru 1:
N-ngh... B-big...sis...ter...
Lambda:
Dammit! Now what do we do!?
Jeanne:
And now to finish this.
Big Sister Bea–
Osakabehime:
Chiyogami Squad Captain, go!
Osakabehime:
Use your nonlethal paper tank cannon to make Master go flying backwards at seventy kilometers per hour!
Osakabehime:
OSAKABE!
Osakabehime:
Kotarou, you take it from here!
D：Fuuma Kotarou:
Done and done!
Fujimaru 1:
Y-you saved me...!
D：Fuuma Kotarou:
Never mind that, Master. The important thing is that you're safe.
Fujimaru 2:
Thanks, you two!
Osakabehime:
Hehehe. DMI.
Carmilla:
It would seem this is as far as we go this time, Lambda. Come on, let's get out of here.
Carmilla:
Every beautiful phantom thief knows she who steals and runs away lives to steal another day.
Lambda:
This is so humiliating. I can't believe I have to retreat from this...this...circus!
Lambda:
This is all your fault, Master! You're the one who started calling her “big sister”!
Lambda:
You'd better be ready to face the consequences later!
Jeanne:
Hey! Nobody mistreats my little [♂ brother /♀ sister] on my watch!
Jeanne:
Get her, Reece XP!
Reece XP:
Play with me. Play with me. Play with me.
Osakabehime:
Kyaaa! It's coming after us like something out of a cheap horror game!
Lambda:
Dammit... I'm warning you, Jeanne d'Arc, I'm very good at holding a grudge! You're going to pay dearly for this!
Jeanne:
No problem! I've got all the receipts right here whenever you feel like trying again!
Lambda:
Grr... Forget the same page. It feels like we're reading off completely different scripts! I can't stand it!
Fujimaru 1:
All hands, fall baaaaaack!
Siegfried:
I think we should be safe here...
Siegfried:
Master, please, get ahold of yourself! Remember who you are!
Fujimaru 1:
Wh-what was I doing?
D：Fuuma Kotarou:
Thank goodness. It looks like [♂ he's /♀ she's] back to [♂ his /♀ her] old self.
Carmilla:
You were having a bad dream.
...A very, very bad dream...
Lambda:
You're putting it mildly. This was a nightmare.
Lambda:
That's the only way a Servant could be so convinced she was Master's big sister that she made [♂ him /♀ her] believe it too.
Osakabehime:
I'll say!
Osakabehime:
I can't think of any odd couple more unstoppable than a floating shark and a self-proclaimed big sister!
Osakabehime:
Especially when she can brainwash Ma-chan and turn [♂ him /♀ her] against us if we get too close.
Osakabehime:
How can she do that, anyway? Is that one of her Swimsuit Swordmaster abilities or something?
Siegfried:
No, terrifyingly enough, I think that's just who she naturally is...
Siegfried:
That, along with how nothing seems to phase her, makes her a truly formidable Swimsuit Swordmaster.
Siegfried:
For multiple reasons...
Mash:
...Huh? Um, Master?
Mash:
I was so preoccupied with getting away that I didn't notice until now, but–
Mephistopheles:
Oh my, oh my! What sort of intruders do we have here?
Nursery Rhyme:
Welcome, welcome! You're just in time for tea!
Jack:
Yay! We know what goes great with tea!
Jack:
Milk, sugar, and dis-mem-ber-ing♪
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
Ooh, are we doing improv now?
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
I've always wanted to try my hand at improv! Let's see...
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
Yes, and... Let's get them!
Mash:
Does this mean we're on the stage!?
Fujimaru 1:
It sure does!
Miyamoto Iori:
Talk about being in the right place at the right time! Come on then, let's give them a good show!
Mephistopheles:
Wonderful! If you could make this fight scene nice and flashy for the audience, why, that would just be to DIE for!
Siegfried:
It's no accident that he punched that last word! Well, no matter. Let's do this! Awaiting your orders, Master!
--BATTLE--
Nursery Rhyme:
Oh my, we lost! We lost the fight! Now we'll be banished to Venus, and never see the moon!
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
Venus? I heard a mean, nasty goddess lives on Venus!
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
Um, did I say mean and nasty? I meant beautiful and lovely!
Mephistopheles:
Now then, let's take a short intermission before getting back to our story in progress on Venus!
Mephistopheles:
(Go on, now's your chance!)
Fujimaru 1:
Thank you, everyone! You've been a wonderful audience!
Fujimaru 2:
Give it up for the girls going to Venus!
Mash:
(Now's our chance, Senpai!)
Mash:
Phew...
Mash:
Thank you for ad-libbing us out of that, Senpai.
Mash:
Though I do feel bad for ruining their show...
Artemis:
Oh, don't worry about that, Mash!
Orion:
Yeah, it's no biggie.
Orion:
Servants crash this show all the time!
Orion:
In fact, we've got a bunch of regulars who come to every show just to see what we'll improv next.
Orion:
Honestly, you'd be doing us a favor if you crashed it again sometime!
Mash:
That does sound like fun, but I'll have to pass. We need to focus on our swordmaster duel.
Artemis:
Oh, so you came to challenge Jeanne?
Orion:
Make sure you keep your guard up around her. And around that shark.
Orion:
I remember thinking she was smokin' hot...
Orion:
...but then I got a warning sign in my head telling me it'd be super dangerous to get any closer.
Orion:
Like the first time I met Artemis!
Just like the first time I met Artemis!
Orion:
I said it twice just to make extra sure you heard me.
Siegfried:
I see.
Siegfried:
Though I have to wonder, Lord Orion. You seem very proud of that fact, but...
Orion:
What?
Siegfried:
How is it that Lady Artemis did not raise any red flags for you?
Artemis:
Darrrliiing...
Orion:
Gaaah! Man, it's been a while since we've done this, huh?
Artemis:
It has, hasn't it?
Artemis:
Then to celebrate, I'll hit you with my Lunatic Beam!
Orion:
Your hardest-hitting weapon!? Heeeelp m–
Artemis:
Oh, right, I almost forgot.
Artemis:
In your case, Fujimaru, you'll need a big sister countermeasure as well as a shark countermeasure!
Artemis:
Otherwise, you'll never stand a chance!
Anyway, see you later!
Fujimaru 1:
A big sister countermeasure...
Lambda:
It's important that you know how totally ridiculous that sounds...
Lambda:
But, it doesn't change the fact that she's right.
Lambda:
We'll need a way to handle Jeanne d'Arc's big sister crap, or we'll never be able to beat her.
Lambda:
...Ugh, I can't believe this is a conversation I am having right now...
Fujimaru 1:
Right. So what you're telling me is that...Jeanne is my big sister!
Fujimaru 2:
So, basically, what you mean to say is...Jeanne is my big sister!
Lambda:
Soft Cursed Sword Giselle!
Lambda:
You need to come up with a smart, solid plan to counteract her big sisterness. Got that, Master?
Fujimaru 1:
I got it, I got it!
Fifth Casino "Shark! Older Sister! Mother!"
Siegfried:
All right. Countermeasures.
Siegfried:
First, let's figure out what to do about the shark.
Siegfried:
Do we know any Servants who would be able to easily handle a shark?
Carmilla:
Hmm. I don't particularly care for sharks.
Carmilla:
They are so inelegant, so utterly lacking in beauty. I have no use for such things.
Carmilla:
I suppose I can at least empathize with their appetite for blood.
Carmilla:
And you, Lambda? Didn't you mention something about all sea life being your slaves?
Lambda:
That...THING is no creature of the sea. It has...moved beyond the ocean.
Lambda:
Ugh, just saying that made my head hurt. I'm going to take a dip in the pool.
Lambda:
Let me know when you've decided on your plan of attack.
D：Fuuma Kotarou:
Hmm. What about other Servants with ties to the sea...?
Fujimaru 1:
Maybe...a pirate?
Mash:
True, we do know a number of pirate Servants.
Mash:
Let's try asking around!
Drake:
A shark? Can't say I've got strong feelings about the things one way or the other. Not much experience with them, either.
Bartholomew:
A shark, huh... A seaman can't help but run into them now and then.
Bartholomew:
I'd just as soon not face one again. Though of course, if you want me to, I would fight it with everything I've got.
Anne & Mary:
I love shark fin soup!
Blackbeard:
Hmm. We're just talking about a plain old shark, right? I don't think you have to be a pirate to beat it.
Blackbeard:
Honestly? I just can't be bothered.
Siegfried:
So much for that...
Fujimaru 2:
Maybe...a chef?
Tamamo Cat:
Shark? Did you say shark? I always knew I'd have to show Mr. Shark Fin which of us was the boss in the kitchen someday.
Tamamo Cat:
Oh, you want to FIGHT a shark? Wh...why? That's a terrible idea, woof. I mean, I could fight one, but since I'm a cat, I don't have any combat triangles that overlap.
Emiya:
First off, I'm not a chef, so you're already barking up the wrong tree.
Emiya:
Second, why would you possibly think a chef has advice for fighting a shark? In what way does that make sense?
Emiya:
I don't know what this is all about, but you should take some time to really think about it.
Siegfried:
...I can't argue with that.
Miyamoto Iori:
Yeeeah...
Miyamoto Iori:
I guess it all boils down to the fact that when it comes to fighting a shark, you need courage more than skill.
Mash:
I'd agree with that. Those eyes were really scary.
Siegfried:
I see... Then we should look for someone who won't be afraid of those dark, soulless eyes.
Siegfried:
Someone reckless, or maybe even a little crazy... So, a Berserker then?
Fujimaru 1:
...That should totally work!
Siegfried:
I agree.
Siegfried:
However, we still need to come up with a big sister countermeasure. Hmm...
Siegfried:
...It's no use. I'm just not smart enough to come up with anything...
Fujimaru 1:
Times like this...
Mash:
Yes. At times like this, I think there's only one person to ask.
Mister Mystery:
Settle down, settle down. You can always count on Mister Mystery to help you out of a jam.
Fou:
Fou, Foulin fou? (Special Translation: Why don't you take a long foul off a short pier?)
Mister Mystery:
Hahaha, my head isn't a piece of gum to be chewed, strange and mysterious animal.
Mister Mystery:
Though I am impressed you figured out how to get past my flower petal shooter. You've really upped your game.
Mister Mystery:
I guess I've shown my cards one too many times since we came to Vegas. There really is something magical about summer, isn't there?
Mash:
Please calm down, Fou! I wonder why you always get so aggressive whenever Mister Mystery shows up...
Mister Mystery:
At any rate, you're having trouble coming up with a big sister countermeasure?
Fujimaru 1:
Yeah. We need to find a way to beat my sister...
Siegfried:
Oh no. [♂ His /♀ Her] brainwashing is getting stronger...
Fujimaru 2:
Yeah. We need to find a way to beat J...Jea...Jeanne...
D：Fuuma Kotarou:
([♂ He's /♀ She's] struggling to get Jeanne's name out... [♂ He's /♀ She's] really doing his best to fight the brainwashing!)
Mister Mystery:
Usually, there'd be no harm in her claiming to be your big sister, but it does make for a challenge, no pun intended, when going up against her as a Swimsuit Swordmaster.
Mister Mystery:
But if you stop and think about it, I think you'll find the solution soon presents itself.
Mister Mystery:
After all, even if you did have a big sister...you would also surely have a mother.
Mash:
A mother...!
Siegfried:
Then, if we bring in a Servant who's convinced she's Master's mother...!
Goredolf:
What fresh hell is this!?
Da Vinci:
Personally, I'd prefer it if you didn't make Fujimaru's relationship graph even more complicated...
Siegfried:
All right, let's make sure we have everything straight.
Siegfried:
We'll need a Berserker to handle the shark, and we'll need someone motherly or big sisterish in her own right to handle Jeanne.
Siegfried:
Is there anyone who would be right for that?
Mash:
...There is.
Fujimaru 1:
Yup, there sure is...
Miyamoto Iori:
Th-there is!?
Mash:
Yes.
Mash:
There's someone we know who would be perfect for this job... It's almost like she was born for it...
Fujimaru 1:
But when she's a Lancer, she's...
Mash:
Right.
Mash:
I'm sure Raikou's maternal sensibilities faded a bit from changing her Spirit Origin from a Berserker to a Lancer.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Maternal sensibilities???
Da Vinci:
Hm? Where'd Gordy go?
Meunière:
He went down to the cafeteria to make French toast once they started talking about all this motherly stuff.
Meunière:
Apparently, he decided it was time to treat himself.
Da Vinci:
No fair! I don't wanna face this reality either!
D：Fuuma Kotarou:
Master, maybe we should try talking to Lord Kintoki about this?
D：Fuuma Kotarou:
He might know a way to make her more maternal.
Fujimaru 1:
Good idea! Let's go see Kintoki!
D：Fuuma Kotarou:
Yes, Master!
Mister Mystery:
Then I guess I'll be on my way too.
Sakata Kintoki:
So this is Las Vegas... Not bad. I like this dry air.
Sakata Kintoki:
Ya don't get this kinda heat back in Japan! And I dig the way this haze makes everythin' look all shiny!
Sakata Kintoki:
Aw yeah, this is how I always imagined America was like!
Sakata Kintoki:
Well, since I became a Heroic Spirit, anyway. And my belt buckle agrees.
Sakata Kintoki:
...But enough about that. The bigger question here is...
Sakata Kintoki:
...how much longer do I gotta hold off on gettin' the thick, juicy, American steak I've been droolin' over just so I can stand around here doin' diddly-squat?
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Don't ask me. I didn't demand that all these people crowd around to take pictures of me.
Tamamo-no-Mae:
I guess it's just the price I have to pay for being a fox of such impeccable beauty.
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Besides, you were the one who offered to keep me safe on this trip since we're both Japanese Heroic Spirits, right?
Tamamo-no-Mae:
And since I decided to take you up on your kind offer...
Tamamo-no-Mae:
...I'd reeeaally appreciate it if you kept working as my bodyguard until I'm good and ready to leave♡
Photographer:
Over here, Ms. Tamamo! Give us a smile!
Photographer:
Aw yeah! That's the stuff!
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Just don't forget the QP. Smiles this good aren't free, you know.
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Would you mind collecting his fee, Kintoki?
Sakata Kintoki:
Yeah, yeah, I got it! Man, I can't believe I forgot how shrewd you can... Hm?
Sakata Kintoki:
Hey, that's Master over there.
Yo, Master!
Fujimaru 1:
Golden Boy!
Sakata Kintoki:
Hehe, nice to see ya so excited, Master! I guess Vegas's dry air agrees with you too!
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Master!
Tamamo-no-Mae:
It feels like it's been aaages since I saw you during summer! You little scamp, you♡
Sakata Kintoki:
And now she's at least thirty percent more excited than she already was!
Sakata Kintoki:
...Hang on. What's that?
Photographer:
Aah! My camera!
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Oopsies.
Tamamo-no-Mae:
It looks like my charms are so potent that they've caused the nearby Demonic Beast wildlife to start running amok.
Sakata Kintoki:
Dammit! If only that Nero gal were here, they could've canceled each other out!
Mash:
Um, Kintoki, I think that would probably only make things worse before it made them better!
Sakata Kintoki:
Oh yeah, maybe you're right!
Sakata Kintoki:
Anyway, let's catch up after we make these things settle down!
Sakata Kintoki:
Hm? Hang on. If I'm not mistaken...
Sakata Kintoki:
...this is a prime opportunity to say that line.
Fujimaru 1:
Really!?
Sakata Kintoki:
Hey, you! Give us a moment here, all right!?
Sakata Kintoki:
Okay then, on three.
One, two...
Fujimaru 1:
Yes! It's finally happening!
Kintoki & Kotarou & Tamamo & Siegfried & Mash:
We've got wyverns!
Kintoki & Kotarou & Tamamo & Siegfried & Mash:
Awww yeaaah!
Katsushika Hokusai:
...What's that all about?
Miyamoto Iori:
Beats me. But it's definitely got them fired up!
--BATTLE--
Sakata Kintoki:
...There we go.
Sakata Kintoki:
All right, now that the wybird's outta our hair, what'd ya wanna talk to me about?
Sakata Kintoki:
There some wild wild west trouble happenin' in these parts ya need my help with?
Fujimaru 1:
Well, you see...
Sakata Kintoki:
...That's just nuts...
Sakata Kintoki:
This is some real dangerous fire you're playin' with here, Master. Raikou's already got the power of a prefect.
Sakata Kintoki:
If ya add maternal instincts on top of that, she'll go right back to bein' a Berserker.
Sakata Kintoki:
And if that happens, she could easily end up forbiddin' her precious child from fightin' a shark...
Sakata Kintoki:
...and assign you a whole mountain of summer homework.
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Oh come now, even she must know that Master's not in elementary school anymore.
Siegfried:
Either way, if Minamoto-no-Raikou refuses to go along, that's going to be a problem in more ways than one.
Siegfried:
I don't think there's any other Servant out there who could possibly defeat both a shark and a big sister.
Mash:
Basically, we want her to face Jeanne as a Lancer while maintaining her maternal instincts...
Sakata Kintoki:
Well damn, Master, I don't know what to tell ya... I wish I could help, but I don't know of anyone who could manipulate Boss Raikou that precisely...
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Oh, I can think of someone. This is Raikou we're talking about, yes? Then look no further than little old me♡
Tamamo-no-Mae:
I once twisted entire countries around my little finger.
A lone firecracker is nothing compared to that.
Tamamo-no-Mae:
A little no-holds-barred service time from Beast Mode Tamamo and she'll be putty in my hands!
Sakata Kintoki:
I'm a little worried how excited she is 'bout all this, but whaddaya think, Master? Wanna give her a shot?
Fujimaru 1:
Go for it, Tamamocchi!
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Yooou got it!
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Just sit back, relax, and leave eeeverything to me♡
Fujimaru 2:
Thanks, Tamamo!
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Not at all, Master♡
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Not only does my Eightfold Blessing of Amaterasu miraculously make me all but impervious to harm...
Tamamo-no-Mae:
...but my Tokonatsu Nikkou - Goddess' Love Parasol that disbands harems and eradicates cheaters wherever I go is a force to be reckoned with in its own right.
Tamamo-no-Mae:
And of course, I'm happy to put aaall of them to use for your sake, Master!
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
...I see.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
So you want to defeat a Servant calling herself a Swimsuit Swordmaster.
Sakata Kintoki:
That's the long and short of it, Boss Raikou.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
I would love to do just that...
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
But the very existence of people calling themselves Swimsuit Swordmasters is already unacceptable.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
You stay right here, Fujimaru. I'll take care of everything myself.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
As the shadow prefect, it is my job to protect public decency wherever I go.
Sakata Kintoki:
Whoa, whoa, not so fast, Boss. There won't be any point if ya do it all alone.
Sakata Kintoki:
Master's gotta be there to face her too.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
I understand how [♂ he /♀ she] feels, but–
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Oh, what's the harm?
Tamamo-no-Mae:
I agree with Raikou, Master. You should let her take care of everything herself.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Wha!?
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Y-you're...Tamamo-no-Mae!
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
The most notorious veteran of all the unacceptable summer Servants...!
Tamamo-no-Mae:
I sure am.
Tamamo-no-Mae:
So, as you were saying, Raikou, you're volunteering to handle eeeverything by yourself, right?
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Then this will be a perfect time to enjoy a long, luxurious vacation with just Master and me♡
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Come on, Master, let's go to the pool first!
Tamamo-no-Mae:
After we go for a swim, we can rub tanning oil on each other, give each other massages, maybe even do a little skinny-dipping...
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Hold it right there!
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Y-you won't be doing any of that on my watch! It is absolutely unacceptable!
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Aww, why not?
Tamamo-no-Mae:
It's not like Master will have anything else to do with you taking care of everything, right?
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
I-I... That's...!
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
But... Well... The thing is...
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
(Sniff...)
Fujimaru 1:
(Kintokiii!)
Fujimaru 2:
(Are you sure this is a good idea!?)
Sakata Kintoki:
(I know, Master, I feel bad for her too. But we've just gotta grin and bear it!)
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Well, come along, Master.
Tamamo-no-Mae:
You and I are going to have looots of fun together during this hot, steamy summer♡
Sakata Kintoki:
(I'm impressed, fox lady. You've honed your honey trap skills to an art, but I can tell it's all just an act... It's written all over your face.)
Sakata Kintoki:
(So that's how she brought those nations to their knees... Though she did always claim she had nothin' to do with any of that.)
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
...No.
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Hm?
Sakata Kintoki:
(Oh? Did Raikou fall for it!?)
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
You will not be doing anything so...so...indecent!
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Not on the head prefect's watch!
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
I shall send any evil temptress who would lead my dear child astray down to the pits of hell myself!
Tamamo-no-Mae:
All right, it worked!
Well, that's it for me. Good luck with the rest, everyone!
Sakata Kintoki:
So ya knew this was gonna happen!? No wonder ya had me come along!
Sakata Kintoki:
Eh, whatever I guess.
Katsushika Hokusai:
All right! Let's do it!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Havin' a match with the greatest Genji general of all time oughta be a great warm-up for a Swimsuit Swordmaster duel!
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Man, I had no idea bein' a Servant would open the door to so many amazin' experiences!
Miyamoto Iori:
Oh man, Minamoto-no-Raikou is a legend among legends.
Miyamoto Iori:
Under different circumstances, I'd be rattling my sword–uh, champing at the bit for a duel...
Miyamoto Iori:
But I guess that'll just have to wait! In the meantime, I'll use the back of my blades to knock her back to her senses!
--BATTLE--
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
(Gasp!)
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
...Oh my, this is so embarrassing. I guess I got a little carried away...
Fujimaru 1:
It's okay. We're partly to blame.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Oh no, not at all...
...
Fujimaru 2:
Are you okay now, Raikou?
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Oh yes, I'm fine now.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
...It seems Tamamo put one over on me this time, but that's all water under the bridge now.
Mash:
Then, does that mean...
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Yes. Although this time I will help you not as the shadow prefect, but as your mother.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
I will make sure to give this battle against the Swimsuit Swordmaster my all...
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
...all while maintaining my sanity!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Oh man, this is amazin'!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I can't believe I'm gonna get ta fight alongside the famous general of the Seiwa Genji that defeated the Giant Spider of Kyoto!
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Hm? Excuse me, but would you happen to be a Saber?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Sure am! I'm still just startin' out, but I've been real lucky with my opponents. They've helped me all the way to becomin' a full-fledged swordfighter.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
I see. That's wonderful to hear.
However...
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
I noticed during our fight that your form could still use some work.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
If you like, I could give you some pointers on the way back to the hotel.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Whoa, really? You'd do that for me?
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Yes, of course.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
I would be more than happy to teach you all about the proper execution of certain oni and furry monsters.
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Whoops! I don't like the sound of that one bit, so I think I'll be going my own way from here!
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Oh, and Master, if you ever feel like taking a load off, come see me in my room whenever you like♡
Tamamo-no-Mae:
Okay, ta-ta for now♡
Mash:
Senpai, what did Tamamo say to you just now?
Mash:
Ah! Why did you turn away from me, Senpai? Senpaaai!
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Oh, yes, I nearly forgot.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
A proper match should be held in accordance with proper customs. That's an important part of good moral character too.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Is there any custom like that for Swimsuit Swordmasters? ...Hmm, a letter of challenge, huh. I see, I see.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Then we'll have to be sure to obtain one of these letters first. Yes, even if your opponent seemingly no longer cares about them.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
For that is how one properly participates in an official match. Are we clear?
Fifth Casino "Arts Mother VS Power Sister"
Mephistopheles:
Oh my oh my, if it isn't Master!
Mephistopheles:
You're just in time for our next performance, Truffatore!
Mephistopheles:
It's about a man who claimed to have cut off the Italian Peninsula from the rest of Europe...
Mephistopheles:
...and brought it across the Mediterranean to attach it to Gree–Oh? What's that you've got there?
Mephistopheles:
Is that a letter of challenge I see?
Fujimaru 1:
I'm here to challenge my big sis–I mean, Jeanne.
Mephistopheles:
Oho! Trying our luck again, are we?
Fujimaru 2:
There comes a time when every Master has to step up to the plate!
Mephistopheles:
Oho! Why, your face is practically glowing with determination!
Mephistopheles:
I see, I see.
Mephistopheles:
So you are here to challenge the owner of our fair casino to a rematch!
Siegfried:
Are you going to try and stop us, Mephistopheles?
Mephistopheles:
Me? Perish the lot of yo–I mean, thought!
Mephistopheles:
That said, I can't help but think it would be a terrible waste to not give such a spectacle the venue it deserves!
Mephistopheles:
Hmm... Hm, hm, hm! How about this, Master?
Mephistopheles:
What if you and your costar-slash-cohorts were to have your battle here on our casino's center stage?
Mephistopheles:
And not as an impromptu improv routine, but as the stars of the show!
Fujimaru 1:
The stars? Really!?
Mephistopheles:
A flashy battle between larger-than-life Servants would go over wonderfully with the crowd!
Mephistopheles:
What about the story, you say?
...Oh, I'm sure we can work something out!
Mephistopheles:
For example, you could be a group of swindlers trying to put one over on Ms. d'Arc, who would be having none of it!
Mephistopheles:
Come on, Master, what do you say? Pleeeaaase? Pretty pleeeaaase?
Fujimaru 1:
W-well, uh... I guess that's okay...
Fujimaru 2:
If you really think I'm cut out for stardom, well...how can I say no?
Mash:
This will be great, Senpai! I always knew you were born to be a star!
Siegfried:
Hmm.
Siegfried:
I guess this would be better than trying to challenge the casino on our own terms...
Siegfried:
If you want to go along with this, Master, I have no problem with it.
G：Fuuma Kotarou:
I feel the same as Lord Siegfried.
Miyamoto Iori:
Hmm, I think I'll pass on the play.
Miyamoto Iori:
I do enjoy a good show, but I've never done a musical before. Oh, but don't worry, I'll still be there to help with the fighting!
Carmilla:
I'll be sitting this one out entirely, thank you. I have no interest in putting on a show for the masses.
Carmilla:
Some flowers are only meant to bloom in the dead of night, no matter how much attention their beauty may draw.
Carmilla:
Hehe, needless to say, it's no different for phantom thieves.
Osakabehime:
I'll have to pass too, since my figure's nothing to write home about...
Fujimaru 1:
You sure? I think you look great.
Osakabehime:
Yes, I'm sure!
Osakabehime:
Gomenasorry, Ma-chan, but this is one thing I just can't do, even for you!
Fujimaru 2:
Okay, if you insist. We'll miss you out there, though.
Osakabehime:
(Sniff) Arigathanks for understanding, Ma-chan...
Mash:
I'm in! I'll be the camerawoman making sure to capture the action from every conceivable angle!
Mash:
Da Vinci should have some extra cameras lying around, so I'm going to see if I can borrow three of them!
Siegfried:
(I have to say, Mash scares me sometimes...)
G：Fuuma Kotarou:
(Right there with you, Lord Siegfried.)
Mephistopheles:
Wonderful! Here we go!
Woohoooooo!
Mash:
What kind of jumping sound effect was that!?
Siegfried:
Mephistopheles is no ordinary person, so I expect his jumps are no ordinary jumps, either.
Goredolf:
(That sounds logical, but something is telling me it won't hold up to under even the slightest bit of scrutiny!)
Lambda:
So we're going to have this rematch on stage? Well, I certainly can't sit this out then.
Lambda:
Regardless of its size or shape, a stage is still a stage, after all.
Mash:
Oh, hi, Lambda! Welcome back.
Lambda:
Yes, thank you, Mash. Don't worry, I've got it all handled this time.
Lambda:
There's just no way her Big Sister power can stand up to my Prima Ballerina power.
Lambda:
It's time she learned why they call me the Prima Donna of the Water.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
...
...
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
...Wait. Does this mean I have to go up on stage too!?
Jeanne:
You want me to go on the stage?
Jeanne:
Sure, that sounds like lots of fun!
Jeanne:
Huh? I'd be fighting my little [♂ brother /♀ sister] there?
Jeanne:
...
...
Mephistopheles:
(No go...?)
Jeanne:
Spasiba!!!
Mephistopheles:
?
Jeanne:
Whoops! I mean, khorosho!
Jeanne:
Yes, this is very khorosho, Mephistopheles!
Jeanne:
I can see it now. Two siblings who love each other, coming to an understanding by trading blows...
Jeanne:
It's like they say: adversity brings people together. So let's give them some adversity they'll never forget!
Mephistopheles:
Yes, of course. I should have known a Swimsuit Swordmaster would be on board with this.
Mephistopheles:
After all, you clearly aren't the slightest bit worried that you might lose!
Jeanne:
Well of course I'm not.
After all, I'm–
Mephistopheles:
[♂ His /♀ Her] big sister.
Jeanne:
Yes, exactly!
Mephistopheles:
Still, if I may offer a word of advice?
Mephistopheles:
A true big sister is not a big sister merely by virtue of her birth.
Mephistopheles:
Indeed, the same can be said for siblings as a whole.
Mephistopheles:
No big sister is born out of thin air.
Mephistopheles:
Do you see what I mean?
Jeanne:
Yes, of course that's all true...but I don't get your point.
Jeanne:
What are you trying to say, Mephistopheles?
Mephistopheles:
That, my dear owner...is a secret! Hehehe, suffice to say that all will be clear upon the stage.
Mephistopheles:
Ahh, if only Shakespeare were here right now.
Mephistopheles:
I can just imagine him pouting with envy and saying “I want to perform too!”
Mephistopheles:
I wonder why he's adamantly refused to come near this casino thus far?
Jeanne:
Well, I certainly haven't banned him or anything...
Jeanne:
(I have been praying to myself that he never shows up here...but that doesn't count, right?)
Mephistopheles:
At any rate, the match is just about to start, so go on, get to the stage!
Mephistopheles:
Ooh, this is so exciting! I can't wait to see everything fall to pieces! Yahoooooo!
Jeanne:
What in the world was that jumping sound!?
Mephistopheles:
Tonight, we bring you a tall tale spun by a great con artist.
Mephistopheles:
The story of the man who claimed to have cut off the Italian Peninsula and attached it to Greece...
Mephistopheles:
Now sit back, relax, and enjoy!
Romulus:
...Oho. I see.
Fujimaru 1:
I'm very sorry about this.
Fujimaru 2:
It's the will of God. What can you do?
Romulus:
No matter.
Romulus:
Even in Greece, Rome will continue to be Rome.
Romulus:
Just as I myself am Rome, so too is the severed peninsula.
Hektor:
So the Italian Peninsula's coming here to Greece, huh? Sure, whatever.
Hektor:
Oh, what about taxes? Does this mean the Romans are gonna have to start paying us now?
E：Citizen A:
Hey, guys! Did you hear the news!?
E：Citizen A:
They say they're gonna chop off the whole Italian Peninsula and stick it onto Greece!
G：Citizen B:
Oh my, this is amazing!
G：Citizen B:
Once we're Greeks, we might be able to climb Mt. Olympus ourselves!
E：Citizen A:
This calls for a celebration! Here's to the people chopping off the peninsula!
Katsushika Hokusai:
We did it! We got permission from the king and everythin'!
Katsushika Hokusai:
All we gotta do now's cut the dang peninsula off!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I can't wait ta get started. Hey! Make way for the con artist and [♂ his /♀ her] crew!
Jeanne:
I don't think so, little [♂ brother /♀ sister]!
Jeanne:
If you cut off this peninsula, the boot of Italy will go floating across the Mediterranean Sea.
Jeanne:
And the last thing this world needs is an island shaped like a boot!
Jeanne:
Besides, as your big sister, it's my duty to stop you! Yes, this is all part of being a big sister!
Jeanne:
Isn't that right, you two!?
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
It sure is!
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
Nobody should go around swindling others.
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
Even Bunyan knows your nose grows if you tell lies!
Jeanne Alter:
Honestly, I'd rather be on your guys' side here...
Jeanne Alter:
...but this time, I'm siding with them. Now shut up and do what I say like a good little [♂ brother /♀ sister]!
Fujimaru 1:
(I knew it. They're both brainwashed, too!)
Jeanne:
The time for words is over. From now on, I'll do whatever it takes to restore our family's love for each other!
Jeanne:
Big Sister Beam!
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
Wum wum wum♪
Jeanne Alter:
Must be nice...
Jeanne Alter:
Personally, this is giving me a headache AND a stomach ache.
Fujimaru 1:
...Now!
D：???:
Ha!
Jeanne:
Wha!? Who are you!?
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
You wish to know who I am? Very well then, I'll tell you. I am...
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Mother!
Jeanne:
Mother!?
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Yes. Fujimaru's mother.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Which means you, of course, are not [♂ his /♀ her] big sister.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
And I'm going to prove that right here and now.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Ready, and...
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Mother Laser!
Jeanne:
What was that!?
Jeanne:
Khh... Doesn't matter, I can't back down now. I have to stop my little [♂ brother /♀ sister] from becoming a con artist!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hold it right there!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Try ta get in our way, and we'll cut right through you, too!
Katsushika Hokusai:
C'mon, Big [♂ Bro /♀ Sis]! Let's get this surprise show on the road!
Jeanne:
I see, I see. Now I understand what's going on here!
Jeanne:
In that case, I'm pulling out all the stops on my end, too.
Jeanne:
Let's do this, Reece XP! We're going to find out which is stronger: mother, or big sister! It's time for...
Jeanne:
A Duel of Swordbeauties!
--BATTLE--
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Mother Beam! Mother Laser! Mother Breath!
Mother Slash! Mother Smash!
Fujimaru 1:
Are those really the best names you could come up with!?
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Absolutely! They are all pure expressions of my motherly love translated into spear techniques!
Jeanne:
Khh...!
This isn't over yet!
Jeanne:
Come here, Reece XP!
Reece XP:
Play with me.
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
Honestly, even knowing Reece XP is on our side, being on the same battlefield with a shark scares me...
Jeanne Alter:
I'm more scared of our big sister for including a shark in the first place.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Mother Tornado!
Reece XP:
Aaaaaaaaaahhh...
Jeanne:
Aah! Reece XP just got blown away! Literally!
Jeanne Alter:
Tch. Fine, guess I'll just have to go in and cover for her stupid ass mysel–
Jeanne Alter:
Wha!?
Jeanne Alter:
The hell were you thinking!? You could've killed me, dammit! Who the hell are you, anyway?
Lambda:
Hehehe. That saint woman might be a different story, but I have a feeling you and I will get along quite nicely.
Lambda:
After all, you love stabbing your opponents to death just as much as I do, right?
Lambda:
Then that would make us an absolutely dreadful matchup.
Jeanne Alter:
Bring it, bitch.
Jeanne Alter:
I'm gonna cut off those freakin weird legs of yours and replace 'em with slinkies!
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Here I come!
Jeanne:
Your tornado might have turned Reece XP into a movie title, but you haven't won yet...!
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Or not!
Backstep!
Jeanne:
Huh?
Katsushika Hokusai:
(She's wide open...!)
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Now's your chance! Go on, just like I taught you!
Katsushika Hokusai:
You got it!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Kirifuri, Kannon, Aoi, Rouben, Yoshitsune, Yourou, Ono, Amida!
Jeanne:
Khh...! So that's who I should have been watching more closely...!
Jeanne:
Oh no! I can't defend in ti–
Katsushika Hokusai:
A Tour of Waterfalls in Various Provinces!
Jeanne:
You got meee!
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Yes!
Jeanne:
I'm so...humiliated! I can't believe...I was never...[♂ his /♀ her] big sister...!
Fujimaru 1:
She was never my big sister!
Jeanne Alter:
Oh, what the shit! That's right! You're NOT my little [♂ brother /♀ sister]!
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
I knew it! The summer heat was making us halluciminate!
Jeanne:
I... I can't believe it... We were only siblings in name, not blood...!
Fujimaru 1:
She still hasn't fully accepted it!
Mephistopheles:
(Excuse me, everyone, but we still have a play to put on.)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Oh, crap, you're right!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
Come on then, step right up! Right this way!
Katsushika Hokusai:
The unparalleled, unprecedented, unheard of feat: cutting the Italian Peninsula off from Europe...is now complete!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Come on now, everyone! We're all moving to Greece!
Mephistopheles:
Thus was the Italian Peninsula cleaved in twain!
Mephistopheles:
The overjoyed Romans went on to live in Greece, where all hell would inevitable break loose again!
Mephistopheles:
What's that?
The peninsula wasn't cleaved in two at all?
Mephistopheles:
Indeed, it wasn't. But by the time the truth came out, the con artist and [♂ his /♀ her] crew had long since disappeared!
Mephistopheles:
And yet, amazingly enough, the con artist and [♂ his /♀ her] crew hadn't so much as touched the people's money!
Mephistopheles:
Perhaps the con artist–or rather, the tall tale teller, simply told this tale to surprise.
Mephistopheles:
Or maybe the braggart even did it...to delight!
Mephistopheles:
And so, everyone lived happily ever...after?
Jeanne:
I feel like I've just been woken up from a dream...
Jeanne Alter:
You mean a nightmare.
Jeanne:
Not at all! It was a wonderfully lovely dream!
Jeanne:
At any rate, it looks like my role as a Swimsuit Swordmaster has come to an end.
Jeanne:
Congratulations on a job well done, everyone!
You deserve a round of applause! (Clapping)
Jeanne Alter:
Yeah, yeah, congrats all round and shit.
...A four-sword style, huh...
Jeanne Alter:
I'm gonna take a little walk.
Jeanne Alter:
Who knows? There could be a place in this Singularity where katana grow on trees.
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
Katana don't grow on trees, silly.
Jeanne Alter:
What the hell do you know? There could be a hidden oasis around here with katana for days.
Jeanne Alter:
...On second thought, never mind. I don't know what I was thinking.
Jeanne Alter Santa Lily:
I'll say! I'm a kid and I wouldn't have believed something that silly!
Lambda:
I can't believe I got so preoccupied with Alter that I missed my chance to finish the original off...
Lambda:
Hey, Mephistopheles. I want to be the star of the next show.
Mephistopheles:
Of course, of course!
Mephistopheles:
Hmm, since figure skating so obviously suits you...
Perhaps something like The Snow Queen?
Lambda:
No, not that. I'd prefer not to perform anything originally written by Andersen.
Lambda:
Or Shakespeare, for that matter. The last thing my show needs is the original author heckling me about changes.
Mephistopheles:
Oh my, you are a picky one, aren't you?
Mephistopheles:
All right, how about The Call of the Wild?
Lambda:
That's a story about dogs!
Do I look like a furry to you!?
Fujimaru 1:
I think you'd look good in dog ears. (Quietly to yourself)
Lambda:
...Is that what you think? Interesting.
Lambda:
Well, I'll tell you now, I don't do cats or dogs. It has to be either fish or fowl.
Mephistopheles:
Ooh, then what about something with a horn? There's no sea beast more terrifying than a narwhal!
Lambda:
Absolutely not. What kind of hideous freak goes around with horns growing out of their head?
Osakabehime:
Phew, it's all over.
Carmilla:
Why are you so relieved? I don't recall either of us doing anything to help this time.
Osakabehime:
Hey, I don't know about you, Carmilla, but I gave Ma-chan my metaphorical buttpan once already this event!
Carmilla:
...You know, despite those nonsensical expressions you use, you're quite easy to talk to.
Osakabehime:
...Well, you know, the Elly clan and I have something of a rekishistory.
Osakabehime:
Oh, right. I guess you actually are her, aren't you?
Carmilla:
She and I are NOT THE SAME!
Osakabehime:
Oh bats! I should've known that was a sore spot!
Carmilla:
I am Mistress C, the swimsuited phantom thief! I'm nothing like...her and her ordinary nonswimsuit clothes!
Osakabehime:
I got it, I got it! So please, yamete kudastop with the calling cards! Those things really sting!
Siegfried:
I'm sorry my own intellect wasn't of much use this time around.
Fujimaru 1:
That's okay, Siegfried. You're plenty helpful all on your own.
Siegfried:
Heh. I'm honored you think so, Master.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Yeah! All that's left now's the Summer Lion King herself!
Katsushika Hokusai:
We're in the home stretch now, Master!
Fujimaru 1:
We sure are!
Mister Mystery:
Hehe...
Fou:
Fou fou! Foooooou! (Special Translation: He is SO up to something!)
Reece XP:
Play with me?
Asterios:
...?
Asterios:
Yes. Play!
Sixth Casino "Casino Camelot"
Katsushika Hokusai:
Yeaaah! We're back!
Katsushika Hokusai:
At last, I'll get ta go up against the final Swimsuit Swordmaster...the Summer Lion King!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Iori was the first, right? So this'll make seven... Man, every one of them's been a real pain ta fight...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...but I'm still gonna miss 'em when they're gone.
Part of me'd like nothin' more than to keep on fig–
C：Katsushika Hokusai:
Ack!
Katsushika Hokusai:
What's the big idea, Toto-sama!? Hm? I shouldn't get carried away 'n say things like “I wanna keep on fighting”?
Katsushika Hokusai:
What's wrong with that? I'm a Swimsuit Swordmaster, dammit! Fightin's what I do!
Osakabehime:
E-easy there, sir. Who doesn't have a dark rekishistory where she–I mean, they got a little carried away...?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Dark what now?
Osakabehime:
Wh-what? I didn't say anything. Nope, not me.
Carmilla:
...Nobody can escape their past.
No matter how much they may want to.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Whassat about the past?
Carmilla:
Nothing. It's nothing.
(Sigh)
Carmilla:
Yes, that's right! You don't realize what you've done until it's too late! So much for coming to your senses someday...
Lambda:
My, my. It must be hard, being human. All that growing, and changing...
Lambda:
I guess the only way to remain an unblemished young woman forever is to be made that way. Like me.
Lambda:
I don't have any silly obsessions with escaping from a dark past. The fact that you two do is just another sign that your minds are still oh-so immature. It's pathetic, really.
Lambda:
After all, a truly perfect being like yours truly would never have any such blemishes on her record. She'd remain pure as the driven snow from the moment of her creation.
Swimsuit Phantom Thief & Swimsuit Princess:
...(You do know what you're wearing when you say that, right?)
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Hey, Master?
Katsushika Hokusai:
You got any idea what they're talkin' about? Why're they all so caught up in the past? I don't get it.
Fujimaru 1:
Maybe you will someday?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hmm, so it's one of those things, huh. Well, all right.
Fujimaru 2:
Yeaaah, I'm just gonna go with “No comment.”
Katsushika Hokusai:
Huh?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ah well, I guess it don't matter.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I already know who I am. I'm a Swimsuit Swordmaster descended from a great swordfighter, a painter, and a future fairy!
Katsushika Hokusai:
You won't find another woman like me in all of Edo OR any casino in Las Vegas!
Katsushika Hokusai:
That's right! There's only one of me in the whole dang world!
Katsushika Hokusai:
It was true yesterday, it's true today, and it's gonna be true tomorrow, too!
Swimsuit Phantom Thief & Swimsuit Princess:
...
...
Miyamoto Iori:
...
Osakabehime:
(I knew it. Her chuunibyou's practically become part of her character after facing all the Swimsuit Swordmasters.)
Osakabehime:
(She doesn't seem to have a hint of the shame she did when she first started...)
Osakabehime:
(Oh, you sweet summer child. You have no idea how cringe it's gonna get when all this catches up with you later.)
Siegfried:
That's great to hear, Hokusai. I can see you've truly gotten the hang of being a Swimsuit Swordmaster.
Siegfried:
Myself, on the other hand... I still haven't come close to being an out and proud Swimsuit Swordmaster like you.
Siegfried:
...I must still be missing something.
Something you clearly have in spades.
Osakabehime:
(Nooo! What were you thinking, Siegfried!? Don't encourage her chuunibyou even more!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hm?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Don't be ridiculous, Siegfried! Ain't we been fightin' together all this time!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'm sure you're a great Swimsuit Swordmaster in your own right, even if ya don't realize it.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...I mean, if I'm a real Swimsuit Swordmaster now, you'd pretty much hafta be too.
C：Katsushika Hokusai:
Ack!
Katsushika Hokusai:
What was THAT for, Toto-sama!?
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
I have returned, Master.
Mash:
Oh, Kotarou.
Mash:
Senpai, Kotarou is back from his recon mission!
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
Yes, Master.
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
I can confirm that the Summer Lion King, the last Swimsuit Swordmaster and Ruler of Dazzling Las Vegas...
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
...is there in Vegas's greatest, most dominant casino...Casino Camelot.
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
And what's more, she appears to be waiting for us with all the grace and dignity of a true king!
Katsushika Hokusai:
!!!
Miyamoto Iori:
All right, guys, it's all come down to this!
Miyamoto Iori:
This is what Hokusai, Siegfried, and Master have been waiting for!
Miyamoto Iori:
As for the rest of you, buckle up, 'cause there's no getting off this ride now!
Miyamoto Iori:
Come on! We're off to Casino Camelot!
All:
Yeah!!!
Bedivere:
Welcome, distinguished guests.
Bedivere:
Allow me to welcome you to Casino Camelot on behalf of the Summer Lion King.
Bedivere:
I hope you enjoy your time in the Knights of the Round Table's handcrafted casino spaces.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Huh.
Katsushika Hokusai:
It's kinda unsettlin' how, uh, settled down this place is.
Osakabehime:
It's so atmospheric here. It feels like a place for grown-ups. I've always admired places like this...
Osakabehime:
The Medjed casino was fancy and all, but it was also a little too, uh, Medjedy, you know?
Osakabehime:
This place, though... It just feels like a normal, classy casino, don't you think?
Lambda:
I don't know what you're so surprised about. This is what most casinos are typically like.
Carmilla:
Agreed.
Bedivere:
If there's anything I can do for you, ladies, please don't hesitate to ask.
Carmilla:
Oh?
Carmilla:
We're all right for now. If we do need something, we'll be sure to let you know.
Bedivere:
I see. My apologies for the intrusion.
Once again, I hope you enjoy your stay.
Carmilla:
Thank you.
Osakabehime:
...Poggers.
Katsushika Hokusai:
W-wow! You really did used to be a noblewoman, didn't ya? You handled that like it was–
Carmilla:
What do you mean “used to be”? I'm still just as much a noblewoman as I am a phantom thief. As for that, I can assure you it was hardly anything special for a member of the nobility.
Siegfried:
Really? I can never seem to get used to that sort of thing.
Siegfried:
It just feels so...embarrassing.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Really, Lord Siegfried? I'm surprised to hear that from you.
Siegfried:
It's just...
How can I put this...
Siegfried:
I suppose it feels a little...rude to dress so informally in a nice place like this.
Siegfried:
I just can't seem to shake that feeling.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Oh...
Fujimaru 1:
It's okay! No two Heroic Spirits dress the same, anyway!
Mash:
Y-yes, that's a good point. I agree with Senpai!
Fujimaru 2:
Don't worry! They never said anything about a dress code here!
Mash:
That's true...
Mash:
Some high-class hotels and restaurants have a ban on sandals, and men are required to wear neckties to get in...
Mash:
...but we haven't seen anything like that at Casino Camelot.
Siegfried:
Hmm...
Carmilla:
Come now, you're the great Dragon Slayer. What could you possibly need to hide?
Carmilla:
Both your skin and that scar are signs of your indomitable might. You should be proud of them.
Carmilla:
So stand tall. Hold your head high. Your very existence is valuable.
Carmilla:
If anyone were to criticize you for your outfit, that would only reflect poorly on them, not you.
Siegfried:
...You're too kind, Carmilla. I don't deserve such accolades.
Carmilla:
You're wrong. If anything, I'm selling you short. Perhaps it would do you good to experience true high society.
Osakabehime:
There it is! Good old high society, the pride of Western nobles everywhere! Personally, I think the whole thing sounds like a total nightmare, but never mind that.
Osakabehime:
The point is, they say it's a glitzy, glamorous world where envy, intrigue, jealousy, and guile all swirl together like a giant smoothie!
Siegfried:
Hmm...
I, uh... I see...?
Miyamoto Iori:
Well hey, even in the pharaoh casino, they said that in this Vegas, swimsuits are the best clothes you can wear.
Miyamoto Iori:
So I say we don't worry about what we, or anyone else, is wearing!
Female Customer A:
Aww, I lost again!
Female Customer B:
Me too... Why are you being so mean to us, dealer?
Gawain:
I do sympathize with your losses, miladies.
But, I can promise you this:
Gawain:
I, Gawain, proud Knight of the Round Table, never have, nor shall, engage in any manner of underhanded play.
Gawain:
The roulette wheel is a game of luck. Perhaps you already used up your good luck elsewhere, fair maidens.
Female Customer C:
Luck, huh... Good point! It was incredibly lucky getting a seat at this table!
Female Customer A:
You said it! Playing a few rounds at Sir Gawain's table is the luckiest thing that's ever happened to me by far.
Female Customer A:
(Sigh) That must be it then. We must have used up all our good luck so we could be here right now.
Female Customer B:
Then we should try to stay here as long as we can! Besides, I don't want to leave this table. In fact, I'm dying to keep throwing in more chips!
Female Customer B:
Sir Gawain, would you do me the honor of spinning the roulette wheel for me again?
Gawain:
Of course, milady. I would be glad to spin it for all of you as many times as you like.
Lancelot:
...This is terrible. I don't know what I'm going to do.
Lancelot:
You're all so breathtakingly beautiful that I don't know if I can continue to deal fairly.
Lancelot:
My fingers keep moving of their own accord, guiding you to the cards that are bound to put a lovely smile on your even lovelier faces.
Lancelot:
Forgive me, good ladies. If you wish to play roulette, perhaps you would be better off waiting for a seat at Sir Gawain's table after all.
Female Customer D:
D-don't be ridiculous, Sir Lancelot! None of us suspect you of cheating in the slightest.
Female Customer D:
We simply can't tear our eyes away from how sharply your fingers deal the cards...
Female Customer E:
Just having you as our dealer is worth all the chips in the world...
Male Customer:
Uh, you might want to reconsider that position, ladies. This is a serious game, with serious QP on the line...
Female Customer F:
And we're just as serious about having Sir Lancelot deal us cards. Right, Sir Lancelot?
Lancelot:
...You are too kind. Heh.
Tristan:
Ahh, how this saddens me...
It saddens me to no end.
Tristan:
I only thought to play my harp so that we could all enjoy a brief moment of bliss together...
Tristan:
But alas. Alas.
Tristan:
Having you throw all your chips at me is bound to warp my intentions into something less than altruistic...
Tristan:
Ahh... How this saddens me...
Female Customers:
Sir Tristaaan!
Female Customer G:
Please, don't worry about it! We're only giving you these chips because we're dying to! We do hope you'll accept!
Female Customer G:
Oh, I know! Think of is as a kind of tip!
Female Customers:
Yes! Exactly!
Tristan:
Ahh... I don't even want these chips, and yet they keep coming my way...
Tristan:
How I scare myself...
Tristan:
What a terrifying thing, to be able to earn vast sums of riches merely by playing my harp...
Osakabehime:
Gyaaah! Hot knights everywhere I look! I don't know if my poor eyes can take it!
Lambda:
No need to shout. We can hear you just fine.
That said...these definitely aren't your everyday knights.
Lambda:
Not that that makes them any great catch. Especially Tristan.
Carmilla:
My, that's downright gentle coming from you.
Lambda:
I'm just telling it like it is. Crap personalities aside, they've got a lot in the way of looks and skill.
Mash:
...Sir Lancelot...
Mash:
No, wait. Senpai, I just realized something. Those three are...
Fujimaru 1:
Knights of the Round Table!
Fujimaru 2:
Going to be a real pain if we have to fight them!
Fou:
Fou, fou.
Miyamoto Iori:
Right. Those are the three Aloha Knights! Casino Camelot's prized Swimsuit Heroic Spirits with special seasonal outfits!
Fujimaru 1:
Another new term, huh.
Fujimaru 2:
Somehow, I doubt we're gonna be gifted those outfits.
Mash:
The three Aloha Knights? What are those, Iori?
Miyamoto Iori:
Exactly what they look like! They're the three pretty boy Round Table knights who all wear Hawaiian shirts!
Miyamoto Iori:
Anyone without resistance to their good looks is like putty in their hands!
Miyamoto Iori:
Not only that, they're all exceptionally skilled dealers, and they're all strong enough to be Swimsuit Swordmasters with their own casinos in their own right.
Miyamoto Iori:
Even when I challenged them myself, figuring they were old enough that I could handle their looks without getting distracted...
Miyamoto Iori:
...their dealer skills were so good that I ended up getting trounced...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Whoa, whoa, back up, lady. We're not here to play the casino games, right?
Katsushika Hokusai:
All I gotta do is challenge 'em to a duel as a Swimsuit Swordmaster and–
Siegfried:
I'm afraid it's not that simple, Hokusai.
Siegfried:
Those Heroic Spirits were always formidable, but now, they can no longer be defeated by ordinary means.
Siegfried:
I'm all but certain those aloha shirts are infused with powerful magical energy...
Siegfried:
The same sort that caused this Las Vegas to manifest in the first place.
Miyamoto Iori:
You got it! Nice eye there, Dragon Slayer of the West!
Miyamoto Iori:
I'm pretty sure each of their shirts is infused with a special kind of magical energy.
Miyamoto Iori:
Together, the Aloha Knights are the Summer Lion King's strongest shield and spear all rolled into one! Er, three!
Fujimaru 1:
So we can't just rush in without a plan then.
Mash:
Right. So we'll just have to come up with one!
Fujimaru 2:
Then we'll have to think of a way to get past them.
Mash:
Right, Senpai!
Fuuma Kotarou:
Master, before we secure a letter of challenge, I think we should scope out the premises.
Fuuma Kotarou:
We may be able to learn something about the Aloha Knights, as well as the other casino guests and employees.
Siegfried:
Good idea.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Sounds good!
Mordred:
(Sigh)
Mordred:
Who cares about all this casino bullshit? I only came here in the first place 'cause I heard there'd be sword duels.
Mordred:
I'm gonna lose my edge if I don't get some fightin' in soon. And the Aloha dumbasses don't look like they're gonna be any help there.
Jekyll:
Come now, it's not that bad. Besides, it's a lot like the job you were working last year.
Jekyll:
You still remember that the fundamentals of good customer service are a smile and polite language, right, Saber?
Mordred:
I've never been good at either of those. Least you're obviously cut out for this crap, Bean Sprout.
Mordred:
Last year we worked at the hotel, and this year we're dealers, huh?
Mordred:
I don't know how you can stand bein' someone else's lackey all the time.
Jekyll:
I never had any jobs like this when I was alive, but I've found them to be quite enjoyable once I tried them.
Jekyll:
I know you like to grumble, but isn't that true for you as well, Sabe–
Mordred:
Hell no! I'm sick and tired of this shit!
Jekyll:
Oh. I see...
Mordred:
Hell with it. Let's play hooky and go do somethin' fun! C'mon!
Gareth:
Absolutely not!
Gareth:
That would be a complete dereliction of your responsibilities, Mordred!
Mordred:
Aw crap.
Jekyll:
Lady Gareth.
Gareth:
I have no idea who this Summer Lion King person is supposed to be, but she's still king, and that's what matters!
Gareth:
And now that all three brothers are serving her...
Gareth:
Well, I won't pretend it's not disappointing that Gaheris and Agravain are nowhere to be seen, but nonetheless!
Gareth:
The fact that Gawain, myself, you, Sir Tristan, and even Sir Lancelot are all here makes this the Round Table!
Gareth:
No, I'll go further! This place is Camelot itself!
Gareth:
It even says it right there! See? Casino Camelot!
Gareth:
...So as her Majesty's proud knights, it's our duty to do our jobs well.
Gareth:
And in your case, Mordred, this is your chance to clear your name!
Jekyll:
Ah. Lady Gareth, that's–
Mordred:
Clear my name!? I'll give ya a clear name, shit-for-brains! I'm the goddamn Heroic Spirit of Treachery!
Mordred:
Maybe it'd be one thing if I had a different Spirit Origin, but going back, hat in hand, and asking to rejoin the Round Table now? Hell friggin' no!
Gareth:
Watch your language!
Gareth:
(Sniff) This is so sad... I think I'm even sadder than Sir Tristan...
Gareth:
I know I raised you better than this, Mordred!
Mordred:
The hell!? You didn't raise me at all, assface!
Gareth:
Do not call me “assface”!
Mordred:
Or what!?
Jekyll:
C-come on, you two, settle down, please. We don't want to bother the guests, right?
Moriarty:
...Sounds like quite the commotion over there.
Moriarty:
I must say, I'm a bit tired from all the work I've been doing this year. It's playing havoc on these old bones.
Moriarty:
I would hope they'd at least let me spend my summer in peace and quiet. Don't you agree?
Holmes:
...
...
Moriarty:
Now then, what can I get for you?
Moriarty:
Personally, I would have to recommend the Las Vegas, a cocktail named for this fair city.
Moriarty:
I daresay you've never tasted anything so sweet.
Moriarty:
It's made with generous amounts of coconut cream, whipped cream, orange juice, and pineapple juice in equal measure.
Moriarty:
What do you say? Care to try one?
Holmes:
...
...
Moriarty:
...Are you listening to me, Holmes?
Holmes:
...Do you mind? Can't you tell the secrets of the world are revealing themselves to me as we speak?
Holmes:
I'll thank you not to talk to me right now.
Moriarty:
Ha ha ha.
Moriarty:
When did you start smoking that, Holmes!? So all my words have been wasted, hm!? I guess you win this round!
Moriarty:
Security, would you mind taking this churl to the back alley and roughing him up a bit?
Bodyguard:
Right this way, sir.
Holmes:
Oh, bollocks.
Mash:
Is it just me, or was that Mr. Holmes...?
Fujimaru 1:
I'm sure it's just you.
Fujimaru 2:
Next!
Scáthach-Skadi:
...You have some nerve, calling for me.
Scáthach-Skadi:
I know I may have more chips than most people do right now, but nonetheless...
Scáthach-Skadi:
Hehe. Does this mean you have every confidence in your ability to entertain me?
Mister Mystery:
While I wish I could answer that with a hearty “Of course!” I'm afraid you would be a tall order, even for me.
Mister Mystery:
No, I think only a goddess of equal caliber would be a good match for the giantess bride of the gods.
Mister Mystery:
So today, I'm only here to be your guide. Now then, I think I'll let the lord of this castle take it from here.
Summer Lion King:
Thank you for coming all this way, Scáthach-Skadi. I promise you that Casino Camelot will see to it your stay is a pleasant one.
Summer Lion King:
Forgive me for bringing you to this cacophonous area. Allow me to show you to the VIP lounge in the back.
Katsushika Hokusai:
!!!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Master, look, over there! It's the Summer Lion King!
Katsushika Hokusai:
What a stroke of luck, runnin' into her here! We can get this seventh and final match underway right now!
Mash:
W-wait, please. It looks like Mister Mystery is part of the staff here...
Fujimaru 1:
You mean he works at Camelot!?
Mash:
I-it would seem so. I had no idea he actually had a steady job...
Fujimaru 2:
I thought he was just here to have fun.
Mash:
So did I...
Siegfried:
Then he was actually our enemy all this time. How unfortunate.
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
W-we can't yet say that for sur–On second thought, maybe we can. He's certainly carrying himself like the enemy's aide or strategist...
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
Honestly, I can't say I'm surprised...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Grr...
Katsushika Hokusai:
So our own damn enemy was actually helpin' us out this whole time!? How weak do they think we are!?
Mister Mystery:
...
...
Katsushika Hokusai:
!!!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Did ya see that!? He just smiled at us! Now I'm REALLY pissed!
Katsushika Hokusai:
That does it! When I'm done with Mister Mystery, the only thing that'll be left of him is some rust on my blades!
Fou:
Fou! Fou fou, rust fooou!
Lambda:
...Don't bother. It's pointless.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hm?
Lambda:
He's something of an illusion, not a person. If you try to cut him down, he'll just disappear like so much mist.
Lambda:
If you really want to hurt him, the best thing to do is completely ignore him.
Lambda:
You should start by observing the enemy and learning everything you can. Especially since you still don't have the letter of challenge.
Lambda:
Besides, there's no way this is going to be routine. Remember what happened with the shark woman?
Mister Mystery:
Here, Ms. Scáthach-Skadi, these three will show you to the VIP lounge.
Mister Mystery:
Aloha Knights! Come here, Aloha Knights!
Lancelot:
Yes, sir.
Tristan:
Present.
Gawain:
We are the Aloha Knights, at your service.
Scáthach-Skadi:
Well now.
Scáthach-Skadi:
You're all quite handsome indeed. So these are the three Aloha Knights I've heard so much about.
Scáthach-Skadi:
I am told you are all loyal subordinates to the Summer Lion King...
Scáthach-Skadi:
Yes, I see now. I can tell from the way you carry yourselves that you are no ordinary men.
Summer Lion King:
They say they are determined to protect me and our VIP guests, no matter how much I tell them there is no need. Still, they are indeed good at their job.
Scáthach-Skadi:
Do you mean serving as bodyguards, or as dealers?
Summer Lion King:
Worry not. I myself will be your dealer. Nothing less would do for a game against a goddess.
Scáthach-Skadi:
Hehe. Well, all right then...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Grrr! They're not gonna let anyone get ta the Summer Lion King without goin' through them, are they!?
Miyamoto Iori:
Exactly.
Miyamoto Iori:
Unless we can do something about the Aloha Knights, we'll never have an audience with the Summer Lion King!
Fujimaru 1:
So that's how it is...
Mash:
They're going to be formidable adversaries...
Fujimaru 2:
What about Mister Mystery?
Miyamoto Iori:
Oh, we won't have to worry about fighting him. He likes to act like a big shot, but that's all it is, an act.
Miyamoto Iori:
Like Lambda said, I don't think he's going to get in our way.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ah, this ain't nothin'! I'm gonna go see how tough these Aloha Knights are for myself!
Siegfried:
That's very courageous of you, Hokusai.
Katsushika Hokusai:
You know it!
Siegfried:
However, they still used to be Knights of the Round Table. Each of them is strong enough to be an incredibly powerful Swimsuit Swordmaster in their own right.
Siegfried:
As a Swimsuit Swordmaster yourself, Hokusai, I'm sure you can sense it for yourself.
Katsushika Hokusai:
W-well yeah, 'course I do! It's practically givin' me goose bumps!
Osakabehime:
Y-you don't say? I didn't know Swimsuit Swordmasters could sense things like that.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Aren't you one yourself!? Guess that just goes to show why we beat you.
Carmilla:
I don't sense anything eith–Urk.
Osakabehime:
(Look, if they say they can sense it, just let them think they can sense it!)
Osakabehime:
(Besides, I don't want to have to deal with them being sore if they realize they can't! Do you!?)
Carmilla:
...
...
Carmilla:
...I suppose it's possible.
Lambda:
Are you done scoping out this casino's adversaries yet? Because there's no point in sticking around if you're not going to gamble.
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
Lady Lambda is right. I think it would be best if we returned to our base to plan our next course of action.
Mash:
You might be right... What would you like to do, Senpai?
Fujimaru 1:
Let's go back to the hotel for now!
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
Yes, Master!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Well, at least we know what we're up against now!
Siegfried:
Yes. We need to figure out what to do about the three Aloha Knights.
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
That's true. They do make for a very imposing wall.
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
Oh, by the way, I was just going to make some coffee for Master. Would anyone else like some?
Siegfried:
I would.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ooh, me too!
Carmilla:
Coffee would be lovely, thank you.
Osakabehime:
I'll have some too!
Miyamoto Iori:
Maybe I'll have a cup too then. A little caffeine might be just what we need to brainstorm a plan of attack!
Lambda:
I don't suppose you have any cocktails here?
Mash:
No, we don't have any alcohol...
Mash:
Servants who consider themselves above drinking age would probably best be served by going to the underground bar.
Mash:
I'm told the Prince of Lan Ling works nights there.
Lambda:
The Prince of Lan Ling... He's one of the more handsome Sabers, right? I hate Sabers.
Lambda:
All right, you at least have energy drinks around here, right? I'll just have one of those then.
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
Understood.
Mash:
I'll help you, Kotarou.
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
Thank you, Mash.
Osakabehime:
(Aah! It didn't even occur to me that I could show off what a nice girl I am by offering to help out there!)
Osakabehime:
(I'm so jealous of Mash that she can do that sort of thing without even thinking about it... I could never hope to in a hyaku million years...)
Siegfried:
Are you all right, Osakabehime? Is something bothering you?
Osakabehime:
N-no, I'm fine... Totally daijoubu...
Fou:
Fou...
Katsushika Hokusai:
So, what were we talkin' about again? Tryin' ta figure out what ta do 'bout the Aloha Knights?
Fujimaru 1:
It'd definitely be dangerous to fight them head-on.
Fujimaru 2:
Let's hit them where they're weakest!
Siegfried:
I'd agree with that.
Carmilla:
Seeing how strong the Knights of the Round Table are on their own, I can only imagine how formidable they are with a Holy Grail's magical energy enhancing them.
Lambda:
Then the indirect approach it is.
Lambda:
I saw some people in the casino on both the employee and guest sides I think we could convince to help us.
Lambda:
Why don't we talk to them?
Carmilla:
True. And I think I know just who you mean.
Osakabehime:
Um... Could you guys be a little more specific?
Lambda:
It's simple.
Lambda:
We get the Archer with the mustache to come up with a devious plan.
Lambda:
And we get information on the Aloha Knights from the other Knights of the Round Table, Gareth and Mordred.
Lambda:
Much as I'd love to drain that lovely goddess sometime...I think she could be useful too, even without that.
Fujimaru 1:
So that's how it is...
Miyamoto Iori:
Makes sense to me. Other Knights of the Round Table ought to have plenty of dirt on their compatriots.
Miyamoto Iori:
What do you think, Mash?
Osakabehime:
Oh, are they back?
Mash:
Oh, yes. We just got back with the coffee.
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
Here you are, Master. Would you like it with milk or sugar?
Fujimaru 1:
Both, please.
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
Here you go.
Fujimaru 2:
No thanks. Black is fine.
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
That's very grown-up of you, Master. Here you go.
Osakabehime:
Ooh, me too!
Siegfried:
...Yes. This is very good.
Carmilla:
Mmm. Excellent flavor brimming with happiness... A rich aroma that tickles your nose...
Carmilla:
Ha!
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
Um, let's see...
“This is good coffee. You've earned my praise.”
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
Thank you, everyone. I learned how to make tea from my moth–Er, never mind.
Miyamoto Iori:
Anyway, what do you think, Mash? Taking advantage of the other knights' knowledge, the Archer, the goddess... It all seems like a good idea to me.
Mash:
Well, this is just a hunch...
Mash:
...but I do think that Gareth would be an effective foil for Sir Lancelot, yes.
Miyamoto Iori:
And this Moriarty guy's a genius at coming up with plans, right?
Miyamoto Iori:
As for the goddess... I agree, she does seem like she could be useful somehow.
Siegfried:
Then it's settled.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Well, ain't no time like the present! Let's go back there and get started right now!
Lambda:
Oh, I'm just the idea Alter Ego; the rest of you can handle the execution. Besides, I have another show tomorrow, so I definitely can't stay up late. I'm heading back to my room.
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
As they say, you can't fight on an empty stomach, so I think we should eat first. Master, I think the best thing you could have for dinner tonight is a thick, juicy steak!
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
And as luck would have it, I understand the Prince of Lan Ling just got in some world-class steak today.
H：Fuuma Kotarou:
I thought it would be the perfect meal to liven things up before we get started... What do you say!?
Siegfried:
Sounds good to me. Then let's begin by getting Master one of these steaks.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Steak, huh... That does sound good... (Drooling)
Miyamoto Iori:
I swear, I don't know why you're all so obsessed with food. It's not like we Servants even need to ea... Mmm, steak...
Fujimaru 1:
All right, steak first it is!
Fujimaru 2:
First comes steak, then comes strategy!
All:
Wooo!!!
Osakabehime:
(B-b-b-but what about the calories!?)
Osakabehime:
(I took a look at that restaurant's menu recently, and the smallest steak you can get there is five hundred grams!)
Osakabehime:
(Are we really gonna have all those calories, even this late!?)
Mash:
Come on, Osakabehime, let's go!
Osakabehime:
NoooOOOoooOOO! Damn you girls who exercise every day! Go out into the blue and diiiiiiiiie!
Miyamoto Iori:
What're you still doing here? Come on, let's go already!
Sixth Casino "Professor's Proposition (Part 1)"
Moriarty:
Now I see.
Moriarty:
So you're the ones I heard were attempting the Swordbeauty duels being held in this minute Singularity.
Moriarty:
But of course, that hardly comes as a surprise.
Moriarty:
Frankly, Master, I would be more surprised if you weren't here trying to repair this Singularity.
Moriarty:
Very well then! You have my full support!
Fujimaru 1:
Yay!
Fujimaru 2:
Thanks, Professor!
Moriarty:
Oh, it's nothing special, Master. I'm one of your Servants too, after all.
Moriarty:
Besides, I have a little grudge of my own to settle.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ya do?
Miyamoto Iori:
Well, that doesn't sound good.
Mash:
Um, Professor?
Moriarty:
Hahaha, it's nothing, really. Las Vegas merely turned out to be a far more formidable adversary than I thought.
Moriarty:
Do you know why I'm here tending bar in the first place?
Moriarty:
Because I lost. Completely and utterly.
Moriarty:
I, the Napoleon of crime who has conquered countless casinos, have yet to score big at Casino Camelot!
Moriarty:
While I may not have lost per se, I certainly haven't won, either.
Moriarty:
And the reason for that lies solely with–
Siegfried:
The Summer Lion King?
Moriarty:
Exactly!
Moriarty:
It's all that damn royal bunny's fault! She ruined every ploy I had to make off with my hard-cheated gains!
Moriarty:
I couldn't palm so much as a single card thanks to her seeing through all of my tricks!
Moriarty:
Hah! Utterly farcical, isn't it!?
Moriarty:
Me, the same man who once spun his spider's web throughout all of Europe, working from the shadows, right under Queen Victoria's nose...
Moriarty:
...failing to stay ahead of an ancient king from the same British Isles...
Moriarty:
...Well, I can't let that stand, now can I?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Y-yikes, that's the wickedest face I've ever seen. For a moment there, I almost got lost in its darkness...
Katsushika Hokusai:
I dunno what your deal is, but I can tell you're a real bad guy.
Moriarty:
Ah, I do apologize. I had no intention of frightening you, young lady.
Moriarty:
That's one of many things I dislike about getting old. It becomes so much more difficult to moderate oneself.
Moriarty:
At any rate, Master, to reiterate, you have my full support in your efforts to defeat the Summer Lion King.
Moriarty:
...But–
Fujimaru 1:
Let me guess: Under one condition?
Moriarty:
You catch on quick.
Fujimaru 2:
As long as it's nothing evil, I'm willing to make a deal.
Moriarty:
Facsimile created by the Holy Grail or not, this is still Las Vegas–a soulless city of gambling where money talks louder than anything else.
Moriarty:
And as a denizen of this city, I am no exception.
Mash:
...?
F：Fuuma Kotarou:
I think he means he wants you to hire him.
Moriarty:
Right you are, Ninja Boy!
Moriarty:
Very well then, I'll send you my fee for services to be rendered later. All payment in advance, please!
Sixth Casino "Professor's Proposition (Part 2)"
Moriarty:
Well done! Well done indeed!
Moriarty:
I can hardly believe you actually collected this many! I knew you were worthy of being my Master!
Moriarty:
No, wait. Let me put that another way.
Moriarty:
...I knew you were the right Master to command me.
Fujimaru 1:
Thanks, but this was no biggie.
Moriarty:
Case in point!
Fujimaru 2:
Thanks, but I'm still pretty beat...
Moriarty:
Yes, I'm sure you are. Which is exactly why your efforts deserve praise.
Siegfried:
That aside, Moriarty, I'm still wondering what you plan to do with all these chips.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I just figured he'd need 'em for his rematch with the Summer Lion King, no?
D：Fuuma Kotarou:
...
...
D：Fuuma Kotarou:
......
D：Fuuma Kotarou:
(Fwoo woo woo Kotaro...)
Moriarty:
I'm sorry, my darling girl. Please cheer up.
Moriarty:
I'm going to make it up to you. I promise. In fact, I already have a number of plans underway that should–
Fran:
...Papa. All you do is gamble.
Fran:
I hate it. It's boring.
Hmph!
Moriarty:
!!!
Moriarty:
Oh, this is terrible. It's just tragic.
Moriarty:
I can't believe I let myself get so carried away by this Las Vegas heat that my own daughter hmphed at me...
Moriarty:
Noooooo! I have to make this right!
Moriarty:
I've got it! Chips! Here in Dazzling Las Vegas, you can get just about anything with enough chips!
Moriarty:
Why, I daresay they could even get my grumpy daughter to smile again!
Moriarty:
That sort of thing may not fly in other Singularities, but in this one, chips can surely buy the way to my daughter's heart!
Babbage:
...You incorrigible fool.
Babbage:
If you want to make it up to her, just buy her a gift. For example, I think she would love a new swimsuit.
Moriarty:
Brilliant!
D：Fuuma Kotarou:
(I'm starting to worry he might not be as cunning a tactician as we'd thought...)
Katsushika Hokusai:
Yikes! Man, that expression of his still scares the crap outta me. I don't even wanna know what sorta awful things he's thinkin'.
Siegfried:
He won't even tell Master what he wants all these chips for. I can only imagine what he plans to do with them...
Mash:
M-me neither. Professor Moriarty's ways are truly inscrutable...
D：Fuuma Kotarou:
...
...
D：Fuuma Kotarou:
......I think I'd better keep this to myself...
Sixth Casino "A Round Table to a Round Table"
Gareth:
You want an audience with the Summer Lion King?
Gareth:
So that's why you want to see her, huh? Hmm.
Gareth:
In that case, I would be glad to help! I've been thinking there was something strange about Casino Camelot too!
Gareth:
Her Majesty King Arthur was never this preoccupied with card games. She always enjoyed other entertainments as well.
Gareth:
I still fondly remember her watching my own jousting matches back in the day!
Gareth:
But now that she's the Summer Lion King, well...
Gareth:
Casino Camelot is now no more than what its name suggests, and the Summer Lion King herself is just another dealer...
Gareth:
It's almost as though Las Vegas's magical energy has taken her prisoner.
Gareth:
So I was just thinking how I would like her to return to her former glorious self, as the King of Knights!
Mordred:
Hahaha! So after all's said and done, you're going the treacherous route too, huh?
Gareth:
I most certainly am not!
Gareth:
I'm as loyal as I ever was! Any v-v-v-vassal of Her Majesty would do the same!
Mordred:
Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. It's all good far's I'm concerned.
Mordred:
But I gotta warn you, Master. She might look ridiculous with her bunny outfit and swimsuit, but she's still my old man.
Mordred:
The one and only King Arthur, reignin' over everythin' with that Lance that Shines to the End of the World.
Mordred:
You better be ready to face her, or you're gonna end up hurt.
Fujimaru 1:
I think we are.
Fujimaru 2:
That's why we want your help.
Mordred:
Ha! You still got no idea how harsh it can be out there, do ya!?
Jekyll:
Saber.
Mordred:
Shut up, Bean Sprout. You stay out of thi–
Actually, on second thought, this works out perfectly.
Mordred:
Gareth! Bean Sprout! We're gonna see just how ready Master really is for this fight!
Gareth:
Wait. What!?
Jekyll:
(Sigh)... Just try not to overdo it, please.
Jekyll:
I'm sorry about this, Master, but I think it might be a good idea to let Mordred relieve some stress.
Katsushika Hokusai:
What's this now? Since they ain't Swimsuit Swordmasters, does that mean we're just gonna have a normal fight?
Siegfried:
Yes, but keep your guard up. She wields a demonic blade.
Mordred:
What, you're here too, Sieggy? This really is perfect!
Mordred:
I was only plannin' on having a bit of fun...
Mordred:
But now, I'm gonna go all out! Man, it's been ages since I got to do this sorta thing!
Jekyll:
!!!
Mash:
Senpai! Mordred's magical energy is rising rapidly!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Oh geez, oh geez...
Mordred:
It's too late to back out now, bitches! So you better get your shit together and face me for real...
Mordred:
...or time won't be the only thing I end up killing!
--BATTLE--
Mordred:
...Eh, I guess that oughta do it.
Siegfried:
Agreed.
Miyamoto Iori:
Works for me. If we keep this up any more, none of us are gonna get off with just a few injuries.
Mordred:
Ya don't say.
Mordred:
All right, that was decently fun, and I feel a little better now. I'm okay callin' it a day here.
Mordred:
...Phew, these casino places really don't agree with me.
Jekyll:
I'm glad everything worked out.
Are you hurt, Master?
Fujimaru 1:
Nah, I'm good.
Jekyll:
Good.
Fujimaru 2:
I'm fine. Now, are you all gonna help us?
Jekyll:
Oh yes, I don't think you have to worry about that.
Mordred:
Now that I got to blow off some steam, we got no problem keeping our promise to help you.
Gareth:
Personally, I didn't need to fight them before I could agree to help. Ugh, you really need to do something about that temper of yours, Mordred.
Mordred:
Shut up.
Gareth:
And that mouth!
Jekyll:
I have to agree. This wasn't your finest moment, Saber.
Mordred:
What was that?
Miyamoto Iori:
...Those three really get along well, don't they? I guess it's true what they say about how the closer you are, the more you fight!
Siegfried:
Is that how that works?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ya know, I feel a real sense of kinship with Mordred. Listenin' ta that foul mouth, it's just like bein' back in Edo.
G：Katsushika Hokusai:
Ack! What's the big idea, Toto-sama!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Don't blame Edo for my foul mouth? So who should I blame then, you?
G：Katsushika Hokusai:
Agh!
Mordred:
Hahaha, what's that all about? I've never seen an octopus squirt ink before.
Jekyll:
Pardon me Miss, but do you need a handkerchief? You're welcome to use mine if you like.
Gareth:
You're welcome to mine, too! A good knight never forgets her chivalry, after all.
G：Katsushika Hokusai:
Peh, peh! Ugh, it went right up my nose! Oh, what's this? Western wipin' cloths? Thanks, 'preciate it.
Mordred:
Hahahahahaha!
Mordred:
Ahh, that was a good laugh! Ya know, now that I'm in a better mood and shit, I'll throw in a little bonus.
Fujimaru 1:
What kind of bonus?
Fujimaru 2:
You don't mean...
Mordred:
A little additional firepower you oughta be able to use as a last resort.
Mordred:
It'll be perfect for taking down Camelot. An eye for an eye and all that!
Jekyll:
Is that from the Code of Hammurabi? That's the oldest... Or rather, second oldest code in the world.
Mordred:
Huh? What're you talkin' about, Bean Sprout!? Don't confuse me!
Mordred:
Anyway, Master, you can count on us.
Mordred:
Even putting my old man aside, I got my own bones to pick with the Aloha Dumbasses and that friggin' flower guy!
Gareth:
...
Mordred:
Oh? You know what I'm talkin' about, huh? Nice to have you on board!
Gareth:
I didn't say anything!
Jekyll:
Hahaha. Let's just say there's a reason neither you nor Mordred were assigned the poker tables.
Gareth:
Wait. Huh? Are you saying Mordred and I have something in common?
Mordred:
Hell no we don't, stupid!
Siegfried:
...It feels to me like those two have something in common. What do you think, Master?
Fujimaru 1:
(Whispering) Me too.
Siegfried:
I thought so.
Fujimaru 2:
Uh... B-beats me.
Siegfried:
Hmm.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Anyway, does this mean we got some help for this next part?
Miyamoto Iori:
I think so. Doesn't it?
Fujimaru 1:
Sure does!
Mash:
Right. So far so good, Senpai!
Sixth Casino "The Goddess's Whim"
Scáthach-Skadi:
Hmm.
Scáthach-Skadi:
So, you wish to do battle with the lord of Casino Camelot...
Scáthach-Skadi:
...and you would like me to help you with this endeavor. Hmm.
Scáthach-Skadi:
...
...
Scáthach-Skadi:
...Very well. I'm in.
Medb:
Oh no you're not!
Medb:
You're coming with me and my Cú Crew on our Summer Las Vegas Special Tour!
Fergus:
Don't forget me!
Medb:
We agreed on this last week, remember?
Medb:
Did you just forget?
Medb:
Did you not like my Special Summer Vacation Plan to begin with? If that's the case, all you had to do was say so...
Scáthach-Skadi:
No, Medb. It's nothing like that.
Scáthach-Skadi:
I don't mean to impugn your plans. I just felt like I should help Master in [♂ his /♀ her] time of need...
Medb:
...
...
Medb:
You're always so passive when it comes to the Cús, you know?
Medb:
You always insist you're not, but from where I stand, it's almost unnatural how half-hearted you are about them.
Medb:
That's why I wanted to go on this Las Vegas tour; so you could experience how great the Cús are for yourself.
Fergus:
And me. Don't forget me.
Scáthach-Skadi:
Medb...
Medb:
But then, as soon as Master comes calling...
Medb:
...you drop everything in a heartbeat and agree to help [♂ him /♀ her] like it's nothing!
Medb:
What's the big idea, Scáthach!?
Scáthach-Skadi:
I understand how you feel, Medb. And I didn't forget our plans.
Scáthach-Skadi:
But Master wouldn't ask for my help unless it was for a very good reason. Indeed, I too can sense there is a Holy Grail operating behind the scenes of this Las Vegas place.
Scáthach-Skadi:
Besides, you are the one who told me...
Scáthach-Skadi:
...that minute Singularities should never be ignored.
Scáthach-Skadi:
You also told me that the summer ones were especially troublesome, did you not?
Medb:
Ulp.
Medb:
O-okay, yes, I might've said those things... And I might be able to personally attest to how true they are...
Medb:
But Master's already defeated the other six Swimsuit Swordmasters!
Medb:
Once [♂ he /♀ she] beats Casino Camelot, this whole Singularity could end up being repaired, which means it would disappear!
Medb:
Then we'll never be able to go on a Las Vegas tour together!
Scáthach-Skadi:
Yes, I suppose you're right about that.
All right, what about this?
Scáthach-Skadi:
Even if we lose our chance to tour Las Vegas, we can still travel around the Wandering Sea together. Will that do?
Scáthach-Skadi:
Even if we lose our chance to tour Las Vegas, we can still travel around Chaldea together. Will that do?
Medb:
Ghh...
Medb:
Ordinarily, I wouldn't let anyone in the whole world get away with ditching a plan I came up with like it was nothing...
Medb:
But you, you...
Scáthach-Skadi:
I'm sorry.
Medb:
Nngh...
Medb:
You're Scáthach! You're not supposed to be this nice! You're not supposed to apologize so easily!
Medb:
Being unreasonable is nothing new for you, but now you're feeling sad about it!?
Fergus:
...Uh-oh. This is bad.
Fergus:
The very idea of a meek and gentle Scáthach would usually be so unthinkable it could make one's head explode...
Fergus:
...and yet we have one right here, in the luscious flesh of Scáthach-Skadi. Oh, this is very bad.
Medb:
Gnnn... All right, you leave me no choice!
Medb:
Berserker Cú!
Cú Chulainn Alter:
What.
Cú Chulainn Alter:
First you tell me to wait over there, and now you want me over here?
Cú Chulainn Alter:
What's the big idea, Medb?
Medb:
I'll make it up to you plenty later! Right now, I just want you to do me one teensy favor, my Cú!
Medb:
Hold Master back while we abduct Scáthach!
Fujimaru 1:
H-hang on. Can't we talk about–
Medb:
We can't, and we won't! I'm in charge this summer! Nobody gets to mess with my big summer plans!
Fujimaru 2:
Stop this! Bad Medb!
Medb:
There's no stopping now! Hehe, get ready to feel the pain, Master!
Lambda:
...I know it was my idea to invite her, but maybe we didn't have to go so far out of our way just to bring in a goddess.
Osakabehime:
Majireally? You're saying this now, of all times!?
Carmilla:
If that's how you felt, you really should have said something before we asked her.
Fou:
Fou fooou!
Osakabehime:
Kyaaa, here he comes! I don't mind the occasional tokusatsu, but creature features are definitely not my thing!!!
Lambda:
Now I wish I hadn't said anything.
(Sigh)
Carmilla:
Hehe, a goddess has to be a treasure among treasures. I would say that makes her worth stealing, don't you think?
Carmilla:
I do understand it's a poor choice to try to simply overpower a Berserker...
Carmilla:
...but it looks like that's just what we'll have to do to make it through this.
Osakabehime:
Just to be perfectly clear, I'll stick to sniping for this entire battle!
--BATTLE--
Medb:
...Dammit! Why're you stopping me!?
Medb:
Do you really not want to hang out with me that badly, Scáthach?
Medb:
Or is it that you just don't want to make out with–
Medb:
I mean, make nice with my Cús?
Fergus:
That's enough, Medb. She already told you why she's doing this.
Fergus:
She felt she had to do her part to find the Holy Grail that corrupted Las Vegas.
Fergus:
If anything, she's doing this to help you, not to hurt you.
Fergus:
Right, Scáthach?
Scáthach-Skadi:
...I don't know. It's true that I'm not entirely comfortable around the Cú Chulainns.
Scáthach-Skadi:
I can't deny there is a part of me that tells me I should try to avoid them.
Scáthach-Skadi:
So I cannot say for certain that Medb is wrong.
Scáthach-Skadi:
...I'm sorry, Medb. You have every right to be angry with me.
Fergus:
...
...
Medb:
...
...
Medb:
...Y-you think you can get out of this just by being cute? Well too bad. I'm not letting you off the hook that easily.
Medb:
And I'm not calling off this tour, either. Not even if this Singularity does end up getting repaired.
Medb:
If that happens, I'll just make you come along on a tour of the Wandering Sea instead!
Medb:
If that happens, I'll just make you come along on a tour of Chaldea instead!
Scáthach-Skadi:
...Thank you, Medb.
Medb:
I-I don't need your thanks! If you want to help Master get ahold of this Holy Grail, then knock yourself out.
Medb:
Just make sure you don't use up so much magical energy that you can't join me for my tour.
Scáthach-Skadi:
Okay. I won't.
Medb:
...You'd better not.
Scáthach-Skadi:
I won't. I promise.
Cú Chulainn Alter:
...So that's it? We're done here?
Fergus:
So it would seem. Anyway, all that fighting made me sweaty. I think I'll go for a dip in the hotel pool.
Fergus:
Would any of you lovely ladies care to join me?
Carmilla:
Well now. As flattering as it is to receive an invitation from a former King of Ulster, I'm afraid I've already got plans.
Osakabehime:
And I've got to go with Skadi-sama! It's got nothing to do with the fact that I just can't handle the whole Celtic athlete thing!
Lambda:
I'll pass too, of course. A scandal's the last thing I need.
Fergus:
...Hey, Setanta?
Fergus:
...
...
Fergus:
...Guess I'll try my luck at the Medjed casino...
Sixth Casino "Showdown, Aloha Three Knights (Part 1)"
Katsushika Hokusai:
All set! Win or lose, laugh or cry, this is gonna be the last of the Seven Swordbeauty duels!
Katsushika Hokusai:
We've got the letter of challenge, and we've got the will ta fight. All that's left is to go up to her and–
Katsushika Hokusai:
No, wait, I'm gettin' ahead of myself. First, we've gotta do somethin' about those three Aloha Knight guys.
Katsushika Hokusai:
You ready, Master?
Fujimaru 1:
Definitely.
Fujimaru 2:
I'm good to go whenever you are.
Miyamoto Iori:
Great! Then let's go right in through the front door!
Miyamoto Iori:
Master of Chaldea, Mash, various other Swimsuit Swordmasters of Las Vegas...
Miyamoto Iori:
Are you all ready to do this thing!?
Siegfried:
Of course.
D：Fuuma Kotarou:
I am never far from Master's side.
Fou:
Fou fou, fooou!
Mash:
I may not be of much help in combat this time...but I'll do my very best to ascertain the situation accurately!
Osakabehime:
Thanks, Mash! I've already come this far, so I'm not gonna stop helping you guys now!
Carmilla:
Indeed, we have come quite far. Just be careful this path we're on doesn't turn out to be a literal dead end, okay?
Lambda:
I guess I can help out too. At least until my next show.
Fujimaru 1:
Then next stop: Casino Camelot!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Yeah!
Voice:
Hold it!
Gawain:
Hold it right there, please. May I ask where you're off to in such a hurry? Is there some sort of emergency?
Gawain:
There is only one person to be found beyond those doors: our lord, Her Majesty the Summer Lion King, and she only meets with VIPs.
Gawain:
I doubt that any of you qualify as such, so what is your intended business with her?
Gawain:
Have you come to challenge the Summer Lion King to a duel with that letter of challenge I suspect to be fake?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Can'tcha tell by lookin' at us, ya big oaf!? 'Course I'm here ta challenge her!
Gawain:
Oho. Have you now?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'm Katsushika Hokusai, genius swordfighter painter and future fairy. No, make that genius swordMASTER!
Katsushika Hokusai:
It's nice of you Aloha guys ta come an' greet us, but I ain't here ta fight you.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'm only here for the biggest of the big shots! The Summer Lion King who rules over all of Dazzlin' Las Vegas!
Gawain:
That was a lovely little speech.
Gawain:
Honesty is a beautiful quality. I won't fault you for that.
Gawain:
I can see from your outfit and swords that you are indeed a true Swimsuit Swordmaster.
Gawain:
And as such, I can hardly blame you for seeking to surpass the others.
Gawain:
It seems your letter of challenge is the genuine article as well. I'm impressed you managed to acquire one.
Gawain:
However...
Gawain:
...I'm afraid there is only one who stands above both the Swimsuit Swordmasters and Las Vegas: our glorious ruler, the Summer Lion King!
Lancelot:
What are you going on about, Sir Gawain? Surely there's no need to shout about matters of such common sense.
Tristan:
Ahh... How this saddens me...
Tristan:
It saddens me that Sir Gawain would so suddenly become so serious...
Tristan:
I was hoping I could spend at least a few more days as nothing more than just another aloha man...
Tristan:
But alas, it seems that is not to be...
Gawain:
No, it isn't. We Aloha Knights are sworn to protect our Summer Lion King with our lives!
Gawain:
The only people we can let through are VIPs who wish to play her at cards...
Gawain:
...which means there is no way forward for you from here. I suggest you turn around and leave the way you came.
Katsushika Hokusai:
S-so what, you think we're gonna go “Oh, okay!” and leave just like that!? 'Sides, the Summer Lion King invited me ta come and face her personally!
Tristan:
Did she? I don't see you on the appointment list.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Huh!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
That's what you think this is about? A damn appointment!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
That does it, now I'm mad! Try this on for size!
Hey! Mr. Bodyguaaard!
Moriarty:
Yes, yes, I'm here.
Gawain:
Professor.
Gawain:
Did you forget that you lost to Her Majesty at poker and signed a contract agreeing to be our exclusive bartender?
Gawain:
Or have you simply decided to betray us?
Moriarty:
Ha ha ha! A word of advice if I may, Sir Gawain.
Moriarty:
Given the chance, we villains won't think twice about stabbing you in the back.
Gawain:
!
Moriarty:
Now then! This may be rough as far as cunning plans go, but it's time to draw up formations! I must say, I can't wait to see how a Swimsuit Swordmaster fights when they have an old spider's support!
Moriarty:
Aloha Knights, you may be formidable opponents, but you have one fatal weakness: you will never fight together!
Moriarty:
And why would you? You can't hope to stand out with the ladies unless you fight your own battles, after all.
Siegfried:
?
F：Fuuma Kotarou:
(Gasp!) He's right!
F：Fuuma Kotarou:
Master! These men are currently Aloha Knights first and Knights of the Round Table second!
F：Fuuma Kotarou:
That means they can't help but try to prove that they're the ones who best embody the ways of aloha!
Fujimaru 1:
...The ways of aloha?
Mash:
I-I'm not sure what it means either...
Fujimaru 2:
You know, I'm still not clear on what an Aloha Knight actually is...
Mash:
Me neither... I remember Iori saying they all wear Hawaiian shirts, but that's all...
Moriarty:
Aloha Knights are a variant of Swimsuit Swordmasters. I'm surprised you didn't already know that.
Moriarty:
At any rate, now's the time to defeat them once and for all! One at a time, of course!
Moriarty:
First up, Sir Tristan! Let's see, out of our current party members, I think we'll have to go with...
Moriarty:
Madame Carmilla, the eerily beautiful crimson flower! And Scáthach-Skadi, the Norse bride of the gods!
Carmilla:
You rang?
Carmilla:
...Hmm, you look like you would be easy to steal. Of course, whether you're worth it is another question entirely.
Scáthach-Skadi:
Heh. It is about time I got a turn.
Tristan:
!!!
Tristan:
I-I see. So that is your plan...
You really did your homework investigating me, didn't you?
Tristan:
I never thought you would employ not one, but two fighters at the same time with such devilishly stunning attributes!
Tristan:
Curse you, Moriarty!
Curse you, Fujimaru!
Tristan:
How did you know I was weak to beautiful women who fall under a particular category???
Fujimaru 1:
Don't ask me. Ask Moriarty.
Fujimaru 2:
Hey, this was all Moriarty's idea.
Tristan:
I see. So this is one of his magical bullets... It seems the rumors about him never missing a shot were true.
Tristan:
However, I am still the greatest marksman of the Knights of the Round Table. I never miss any of my shots, either.
Tristan:
So you know what? I thank you.
Tristan:
Yes, I thank you for this opportunity!
To go all out against such extraordinary beauties as this!
Gawain:
I see.
Fight well, Sir Tristan.
Lancelot:
I'm sure you'll be fine, Sir Tris...
Khh... I'm so jeal–
Mash:
...
Lancelot:
Uh, never mind! Now is the time to fulfill your oath, Sir Tristan! Fight as though your life depends on it!
Tristan:
Rrraaaaaaaaahhh!!!
You'll never defeat me! Never!!!
Mash:
Be careful, you two! Tristan is headed straight for you!
Sixth Casino "Showdown, Aloha Three Knights (Part 2)"
Tristan:
Mmm...! The scent of married women filling the air... It's everything I ever dreamed it would be!
Lambda:
I swear, you would be so much prettier if you would never open your mouth!
Tristan:
N-now I see. Your plan was to distract me with married women while the wicked swan moved in for the kill.
Tristan:
Ahh, how this shames me. How could I not have seen that you were my true love all along?
Lambda:
Hmph. Don't be ridiculous. As if I would ever be your true love.
Lambda:
Now hurry up and go down before I run you through for real. Go on.
Tristan:
Ah.
Lancelot:
...I'm impressed. I never expected you to defeat Sir Tristan.
Lancelot:
But what are you going to do now that you've exhausted your supply of beautiful young female fighters?
Lancelot:
I will admit, there is great power to be found in women with an air of grief and sorrow about them.
Lancelot:
But I've already seen the ones you have to offer. The same madam won't work twice.
Lancelot:
You do know that...don't you?
Siegfried:
The same madam won't work twice...
G：Fuuma Kotarou:
...
...Is there something deep about that?
Fujimaru 1:
No! Not even close!
Fujimaru 2:
Come on, guys, get it together!
Siegfried:
F-forgive me, Master. I nearly fell for the enemy's trap myself.
Moriarty:
Heh heh heh.
Moriarty:
In many ways, Sir Lancelot and Sir Tristan are both Aloha Knights who are equally vulnerable to beautiful women.
Osakabehime:
U-um, that's just 'cause they're Aloha Knights, right? It's not like they're always weak to them, right?
Moriarty:
However, it is also true that the same madam won't work twice. Indeed, I am eminently aware of that...
Moriarty:
...and naturally, I have prepared accordingly!
All right, come on out!
Mordred:
Hell yeah!
Gareth:
I'm here!
Jekyll:
I'm here too, I guess.
I：Lancelot:
...I see. So you dragged Gareth into this.
Moriarty:
I did indeed.
Moriarty:
So you're an Aloha Knight of Casino Camelot now? A Swimsuit Swordmaster variant with a Spirit Origin just for summer?
Moriarty:
Right now, none of that matters. Whatever else you may be, you are still Sir Lancelot, Knight of the Round Table.
Moriarty:
Furthermore, you are currently materialized as a Saber capable of rationality, as opposed to your Berserker form.
Moriarty:
As such, I expect you may have some...feelings upon seeing Lady Gareth alive and well.
Moriarty:
Of course, the one you see here is but a shadow of the real Lady Gareth, who has long since passed away...
Moriarty:
...but she is still the spitting image of her living self.
Moriarty:
She may not technically be the same person anymore, but she still retains her thoughts, memories, and personality.
I：Lancelot:
...
...
Gareth:
Sir Lancelot...
Moriarty:
So, what will you do?
Moriarty:
Are you going to turn your sword on her again, good knight?
Moriarty:
Remind me, how did you kill her last time? Did you cut her down where she stood, or did you beat her to death instead?
Moriarty:
So much for your vaunted chivalry!
Moriarty:
Indeed, there was a time when the ostensibly great and noble Sir Lancelot of the Round Table committed adultery!
Moriarty:
When Sir Agravain caught you red-handed, he and the other Knights of the Round Table sought to bring you to justice...but you were a force to be reckoned with, thanks to your Eternal Arms Mastery!
Moriarty:
With naught but your fists alone, you slew fully armed knights one after another!
Moriarty:
Among them were Sir Agravain, the one most bent on capturing you...and Lady Gareth, the one who held you in the highest regard...
Gareth:
...
Moriarty:
...Such a terrible, senseless tragedy.
Moriarty:
What really happened, Sir Lancelot? Did you beat Lady Gareth to death unwittingly, failing to realize who she was?
I：Lancelot:
...
Moriarty:
Or, were you fully aware she was the same Lady Gareth who admired you as a puppy admires its master...
Moriarty:
...even as you sullied those fair hands of yours with her bloo–
Fujimaru 1:
Stop it, Moriarty!
Fujimaru 2:
That's enough!
Moriarty:
...Hmm.
Moriarty:
You think so? And here I thought I was being rather gentle, just as if I were speaking to a child.
I：Lancelot:
...This is hardly the kind of lighthearted topic I expected to talk about when I put on this aloha shirt.
I：Lancelot:
Yes, you're right. My sins could fill a vast, deep ocean. Even my Hawaiian shirt will not allow me to escape them.
I：Lancelot:
...Gareth, I...
Gareth:
Sir Lancelot–
Mordred:
Here, I'll put you outta your misery!
Mordred:
You're wide open, Lancelot! I don't even need my demonic sword to kill you like this!
Mordred:
Haha, this is great! Havin' Gareth on my side really makes you clam up, doesn't it!?
Mordred:
Don't move a damn centimeter, Gareth! I'm countin' on you to be my shield!
Gareth:
Don't be ridiculous! I came here to fight just as much as you did!
I：Lancelot:
...
Gareth:
O-oh, but, I'm not here to kill anyone! I just want to release everyone from the curse of aloha!
Fujimaru 1:
...The curse of aloha?
Fujimaru 2:
The what now?
Gareth:
Oh, it's just a pet theory of mine!
Gareth:
The Knights of the Round Table always look good no matter what they wear, but I still prefer them in shining armor!
Mordred:
Hey Master, I'm sure you already know this, but don't bother listenin' to a word outta her mouth. She's a dumbass.
Gareth:
Mordred! How dare you speak about your older sister like that!?
Jekyll:
Stop that, both of you! We're up against Sir Lancelot, remember? This isn't the time to argue!
Mordred:
Oh yeah, guess you're right.
Mordred:
He might be a scumbag, but he's still Lancelot. Plan or not, we've still gotta take him seriously.
Mordred:
So come on, Gareth! Let's get him already!
Gareth:
I'll be the one to lead here, thank you very much!
Come on, Mordred!
Gareth:
...Sir Lancelot, I'm going to come at you with everything I've got! Please make sure you do the same!
Lancelot:
...Very well then! Have at you!
Sixth Casino "Showdown, Aloha Three Knights (Part 3)"
Lancelot:
...Well done, Gareth.
Lancelot:
You've grown strong. No... You were always strong, ever since that time.
Gareth:
(Huff, gasp...) Sir Lancelot... You're much too kind... (Sniff)
Mordred:
Hey, don't cry, dumbass! You wanna give up our win after we clinched it!?
Gawain:
...I think that's quite enough.
Gawain:
Stand down, Sir Lancelot. Perhaps you could join cheerful Tristan for a breather. I'll take it from here.
Gawain:
So, you pitted wives against Tristan, and Gareth against Lancelot. Well done. You certainly thought this through.
Gawain:
But I must wonder:
Who will you pit against me?
Gawain:
The day is still young. Thus, I am prepared to greet you with the full power of the sacred sword of the sun.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Yikes!
Fuuma Kotarou:
Khh...! His magical energy is...immense!
Mash:
M-maybe it would have been better if we'd made our move at night...
Mash:
But Casino Camelot only operates during the day!
Fuuma Kotarou:
Right! At night, a powerful Bounded Field goes up around the entire casino!
Katsushika Hokusai:
That's the invisible wall I couldn't get past when we first came ta Vegas!
Katsushika Hokusai:
So even though I can get inta Camelot now that I beat six of the seven beauties...
Gawain:
Indeed. Would-be challengers are only permitted to enter during the daytime. Which is to say, my time.
Gawain:
So? How will you meet me!?
Miyamoto Iori:
...Man. Usually, I'd be first in line to fight a tough opponent even if I thought I had no chance beating them...
Miyamoto Iori:
...but this time, I hardly see a point when our opponent can cut us down before we even make a move!
Moriarty:
Hehe. Now, now, no need to panic.
Moriarty:
You paid me to come up with a plan, and so of course, I have one for him as well.
Moriarty:
We're going to fight your sacred sword, Gawain...
Moriarty:
...with a sacred sword of our own!
Gawain:
!!!
Voice:
Impressive. It seems you truly do wield the sacred sword of the sun, since you were able to defend against that strike.
Gawain:
That voice... This aura...!
Arthur:
Your sacred sword of the sun is very similar to the one I know, Gawain.
Gawain:
Arthur Pendragon! His Majesty, the other king who came to this place from a far-off world...
Mordred:
'Bout time the male version of my old man showed up! I was sweatin' bullets waitin' for you to get here!
Fujimaru 1:
Oh, so that's what that was about!
Fujimaru 2:
So the bonus you mentioned was Arthur!?
Arthur:
I was only waiting for my turn, Mordred. Professor Moriarty was quite adamant about that.
Moriarty:
Well, you can hardly blame me for wanting to save the sacred sword as a final surprise. At any rate, I believe this should more than suffice for a lineup.
Moriarty:
Sir Gawain...or rather, Aloha Knight Gawain. We are making our way through, whether you like it or not.
Gawain:
...Very well then, I could certainly ask for no worthier opponent. On my sacred sword of the sun, I shall meet you with everything I have!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hey, you oaf! Who cares 'bout the sacred sword!? If nothin' else, I've got ya beat numbers-wise!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Just you wait! You're gonna go down 'fore you know what hit ya! Hraaahhh!
Sixth Casino "Decisive Battle! Summer Lion King!"
Gawain:
...That's that then. Well done.
Gawain:
As Aloha Knights, we swore to never stand in the way of one who proves to be a true Swimsuit Swordmaster.
Gawain:
And that is exactly what all of you have done.
Gawain:
On my authority, you are hereby permitted to meet with our king, the strongest in all Las Vegas.
Gawain:
Summer Lion King, would you do these people the honor and joy of granting them an audience?
Voice:
...Very well.
Voice:
You fought well in your foreign aloha garb, Gawain. As did the other two.
Voice:
I would expect no less from my Aloha Knights, who are after all a variant of the Swimsuit Swordmasters...even if Tristan is the only one of you actually wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
Fujimaru 1:
I thought that was odd...
Fujimaru 2:
Little late for lampshading, isn't it?
Gawain:
Silence! Her Majesty is still making her entrance!
Summer Lion King:
However, as I thought, only a true Swimsuit Swordmaster is fit to fight another.
Summer Lion King:
For it is only we genuine Swimsuit Swordmasters...
Summer Lion King:
...who possess the urge to see just how far our blades can go.
Summer Lion King:
You did well to come this far.
Summer Lion King:
I must first commend you for your hard-fought battles to date, Swimsuit Swordmasters who have been ruining my yard.
Summer Lion King:
Good. You all bear fine expressions.
Summer Lion King:
Especially you, wielder of four swords. Your expression has improved tenfold since our first meeting.
Summer Lion King:
At last...
Summer Lion King:
At long last, you have defeated all the other Swimsuit Swordmasters who oversee casinos and made your way here.
Summer Lion King:
You would not have grown to this extent without the comrades who have fought and aided you thus far.
Summer Lion King:
I commend you, Katsushika Hokusai, newest of all Swimsuit Swordmasters!
Summer Lion King:
Nor do I fault you for banding together with others! If you believe that is what you must do, then so be it!
Summer Lion King:
Indeed, I am in much the same boat, for I too commanded help in the form of my Aloha Knights.
Osakabehime:
Yeah, good point. Really, you're just like the rest of us.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Y-yeah!
Katsushika Hokusai:
(She said my name! The Summer Lion King actually said my name!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(The strongest Swimsuit Swordmaster of them all...and she's finally recognizin' me as an equal!)
Miyamoto Iori:
All right then, Summer Lion King, manager of the largest casino in all of Dazzling Las Vegas.
Miyamoto Iori:
It looks like this is finally it. Are you ready?
Miyamoto Iori:
Hokusai!
Katsushika Hokusai:
R-right! Let's do this! It's time for the final match of the–
Summer Lion King:
Seven Duels of Swordbeauties!
Fuuma Kotarou:
She just zapped us all outside in an instant!
Mash:
Oh no... I can't contact the Wandering Sea anymore! It's just like the first seven color duel we fought!
Mash:
Oh no... I can't contact Chaldea anymore! It's just like the first seven color duel we fought!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Aw yeah! This is it!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I finally kinda figured out what it means ta be a Swimsuit Swordmaster! What it means ta be a beauty who epitomize both grace and blade!
Fujimaru 1:
And? What is it?
Fujimaru 2:
Can you be a little more specific?
Katsushika Hokusai:
It's nothin' as simple as just bein' a swordmaster in a swimsuit. A Swimsuit Swordmaster...is a Swimsuit Swordmaster!
Fujimaru 1:
(Something tells me she hasn't thought this through very well!)
Miyamoto Iori:
Sounds like a modern-day Zen koan! Nothing wrong with it! The important thing's that she said it with conviction!
Summer Lion King:
My True Name is Altria Ruler!
I am the Royal Bunny of Casino Camelot!
Katsushika Hokusai:
My True Name is Katsushika Hokusai!
I will make it rain like waterfalls in your casino!
Summer Lion King:
Come, and let us have a good, clean fight!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Bring it!!!
--BATTLE--
Summer Lion King:
Is that the truly best you can do, Katsushika Hokusai!?
Is that the extent of your summer gleam!?
Summer Lion King:
Is that the Swimsuit Swordmaster pinnacle of grace and blade you have been seeking all this time!?
Summer Lion King:
You will never be able to surpass the glorious light of my Royal Bunny like that!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Is that a challenge!? You're on!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I might have a foul mouth, but my heart is pure and true!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Be dragged into the currents of the white dragon that ascends to the heavens!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Shimotsuke, Toukaidou, Touto, Soushuu, Washuu, Mino, Kisokaidou, Kisoji!
Katsushika Hokusai:
A Tour of Waterfalls in Various Provinces!
Summer Lion King:
...Hehe.
Summer Lion King:
I never dreamed you had grown this strong.
Well done. I concede my defeat.
Summer Lion King:
You, Katsushika Hokusai, together with your companions, are true Swordbeauties and strongest Swimsuit Swordmasters in all of Dazzling Las Vegas.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...!!!
Fujimaru 1:
You did it, Oei!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I...I...I-I-I...
Katsushika Hokusai:
I did it!!!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'm the strongest Swimsuit Swordmaster of all! 'Course, I didn't do it all on my own...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...but this still means all of us together are the strongest around! Right!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Did ya hear that, Toto-sama!? I'm finally the strongest of all the Swimsuit Swordmasters!
Miyamoto Iori:
You sure are. You did really great, Hokusai.
Miyamoto Iori:
I don't think we would have all come together like this if it wasn't for your unique charisma and youthful potential.
Miyamoto Iori:
We couldn't have done this without you either, Fujimaru.
Miyamoto Iori:
You're the glue that kept us all together.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I think you nailed it, Lady Iori.
Siegfried:
Indeed.
Fou:
Fou, fooou!
Fujimaru 1:
Thanks for helping me repair this Singularity, guys.
Fujimaru 2:
I guess that takes care of this minute Singularity.
Mash:
That's correct. Now that we've retrieved the Holy Grail...
Mash:
Hokusai's Spirit Origin should go back to normal, and Siegfried's Spirit Origin should stabilize.
Mash:
From there, this Singularity should go back to norm–
Mash:
...
...
Mash:
...Huh?
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Uhh, what's this 'bout my Spirit Origin?
Siegfried:
I also get the sense that there is still one more battle I need to fight as a Swimsuit Swordmaster.
Fujimaru 1:
Wait. Huh?
Fujimaru 2:
What's going on?
Fuuma Kotarou:
This minute Singularity doesn't seem to be going away... What could this mean?
Osakabehime:
Hey, did anyone actually LOOT the Holy Grail? 'Cause I didn't...
Carmilla:
A fair point. I don't sense any magical energy coming from one, but maybe we will once the Summer Lion King gives it to us.
Lambda:
You conceded your loss, right? Then hurry up and hand over the Holy Grail already.
Summer Lion King:
Holy Grail?
Summer Lion King:
What in the world are you talking about?
Summer Lion King:
Yes, I did create this wonderful version of Las Vegas, and yes, I do rule over it.
Summer Lion King:
...but I know nothing of a Holy Grail.
Summer Lion King:
There must have been a misunderstanding.
Summer Lion King:
This manifestation of this alternate Las Vegas is simply one of the powers I possess.
Summer Lion King:
I have not so much as seen a Holy Grail here since I created it.
Fujimaru 1:
Are you serious?
Fujimaru 2:
Really?
Summer Lion King:
Yes.
Fujimaru 1:
Then, where'd this minute Singularity come from...?
Voice:
...Where could the Holy Grail be?
Voice:
How did this minute Singularity truly come into being?
Voice:
You won't get any answers from the Summer Lion King. She just took this western desert and turned it into what you see now.
Voice:
So if not her, then who?
Voice:
Who truly knows the Holy Grail's location? Who had the Summer Lion King make Las Vegas in the first place?
Mister Mystery:
Spoiler alert: it was me. The same Mister Sheep you've met in your dreams.
Fujimaru 1:
Merliiiiiiiiiiiin!!!
Fujimaru 2:
I knew it was you, foooooou!
Final Fight - Western Ganryu-jima
Merlin:
...Yes. That's right.
Merlin:
Sometimes, I'm Mister Mystery, helping you find your way.
Other times, I represent Casino Camelot's manager.
Merlin:
But my true identity is none other than Merlin, the great Mage of Flowers!
Mash:
...
...
Mash:
Um... I'm not quite sure how to say this, but...
Mash:
Yes. I knew all along...
Merlin:
Eh? Reeeeeeally?
Siegfried:
I knew as well.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Me too, of course.
Carmilla:
I thought we were all simply pretending not to notice.
Fou:
Fou fou, fou fooou!
Osakabehime:
Now I'm remembering the time I thought my drawing style had changed significantly, only to find out no one else could see any difference...
Lambda:
...
Merlin:
Well now, it seems we have at least one young lady with no cutting comment! I like your parka. It looks like a monster with its mouth gaping open!
Lambda:
Great, thanks. Zero out of ten. Worst compliment I ever got. Maybe just the worst compliment ever.
Merlin:
Now, now, no need to be bashful! You and I go way back, after all!
Merlin:
Don't you remember? It was my idea to surround the city with an ocean.
Merlin:
Go on, say it! Say you had no idea Mister Mystery was actually Merlin all along!
F：Lambda:
I have no idea what you're talking about whatsoever. Never speak again. You're an eyesore.
Merlin:
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to deceive you guys.
Merlin:
But of course, that's no excuse, so I won't try to excuse what I did. Makes sense, right?
F：Lambda:
I suppose that's one way to put it. So you don't feel any guilt over this? Don't you have a heart?
Merlin:
Hahaha, of course not. I'm just a system who goes around solving problems.
Merlin:
All's well that ends well, I always say.
So yes, basically...
Merlin:
This was all my doing!
Merlin:
I used my impeccable oratory skills to lower Altria Lancer's guard, added a Summer attribute to her Spirit Origin...
Merlin:
...then suggested that the Grand Canyon would be the perfect place for her to spend the summer.
Merlin:
And as I expected, she did a wonderful job with the place! Just look at how gorgeous this Las Vegas turned out!
Merlin:
A dream city pulsing with life and gambling where Swimsuit Swordmasters and Heroic Spirits of all stripes come together to enjoy casinos and Seven Duels of Swordbeauties!
Mash:
Wh-why did you do all that, Merlin? Surely even you wouldn't go that far without some sort of reason.
Mash:
Then again, I guess you've never been one to hold back whenever you decide to do something...
Summer Lion King:
Indeed. No matter how much he ought to hold back, he never does...
Mash:
Right! Altria, you just reminded me of something!
Mash:
Why in the world did you agree to Merlin's unbelievably shady suggestion in the first place?
Summer Lion King:
...You know, looking back on it now, I am not entirely sure myself. Goodness knows Merlin's antics have caused me no end of headaches...
Summer Lion King:
Still, I do remember that the timing worked out well, as I did need a mecca for which to assemble the Swimsuit Swordmasters.
Fujimaru 1:
Huh? Hang on. Didn't Yagyu say something about that?
Fujimaru 2:
Hm? I could've sworn Yagyu said something similar to that...
Mash:
Y-yes, he did. As I recall, he said the duels take place in western North America every year.
Mash:
But that doesn't line up with what Merlin told us...
Merlin:
Really? Well, I can't speak to that.
Merlin:
When it comes to Swimsuit Swordmasters, I barely know anything myself.
Merlin:
But, I do know that the Swimsuit Swordmasters needed a place to gather and fight, and that it had to be here.
Fujimaru 1:
Okay, seriously, what the hell even IS a Swimsuit Swordmaster!?
Merlin:
I'm afraid that's not my place to say. Right, Ms. Miyamoto? What are you calling yourself now? Iori?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Huh?
Miyamoto Iori:
...(Desperate smile)
Lambda:
Know what? I'm impressed. It takes guts to try and get through a situation like this with nothing but a smile.
Carmilla:
...I'm getting a very bad feeling about this, but I'll worry about that later. Hand over the Holy Grail first, and then we'll talk about what exactly is going on here.
Osakabehime:
Yeah! A Holy Grail is like a drop, you can't just leave it lying around! It's a magnet for trouble!
Merlin:
Ha ha ha.
...I don't have it.
Osakabehime:
Huh?
Merlin:
You won't find the Holy Grail on me.
Merlin:
All I did was introduce Altria to this property, and all she did was use her Gifts to make a city on it.
Merlin:
The Holy Grail that spawned this minute Singularity is still buried somewhere underneath all these buildings.
Merlin:
I would've already collected it if I could, but it just wasn't that simple.
Merlin:
But I think that lady over there can speak to that more than I can. Right, Ms. Miyamoto?
Miyamoto Iori:
...(Sigh) I was really hoping I could resolve this quietly, but I guess that ship has sailed.
Miyamoto Iori:
No more running or hiding. Now that we've come this far, I'll tell you the truth about everything.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Lady Iori?
--ARROW--
The minute Singularity in western North America...
The anomaly in Dazzling Las Vegas, where Swimsuit Swordmasters and Heroic Spirits alike came together...should have been resolved.
With all seven Swimsuit Swordmasters, including the Summer Lion King, defeated...
...the Seven Duels of Swordbeauties should have come to an end.
But no. It wasn't over yet.
There was still a Heavenly Demon...a fearsome being of disaster and calamity lurking within this land.
This Heavenly Demon was nothing less than the last, and strongest, Swimsuit Swordmaster of all.
With a Holy Grail embedded within its body, this sword demon aimlessly wandered about Grand Canyon Ganryu Island!
Miyamoto Iori:
...It started when a Heroic Spirit–a swordfighter, was off on a journey.
Miyamoto Iori:
A journey that seemed like it had a destination, but actually had nothing of the sort.
Miyamoto Iori:
After the swordfighter had walked for a long, long time...
Miyamoto Iori:
...they arrived at the Grand Canyon–the center of what's now Dazzling Las Vegas.
Miyamoto Iori:
The swordfighter was completely penniless. There was no magical energy they could use in the barren ground, no food to be found, and no people nearby they could ask for help.
Miyamoto Iori:
They did have some uncooked rice and udon flour they kept for emergencies, but they didn't have a pot to cook them in.
Miyamoto Iori:
But just when they were on the verge of starving to death from a lack of magical energy...
I：Miyamoto Iori:
...by pure, sheer coincidence, they happened across something that could help.
I：Miyamoto Iori:
A Holy Grail.
I：Miyamoto Iori:
It must have been a place where the land's leylines and such happened to gather in just the right way.
I：Miyamoto Iori:
Then, while looking at the Holy Grail...
I：Miyamoto Iori:
...the swordfighter had a thought.
I：Miyamoto Iori:
“When you think about it, what's the difference between a Holy Grail and a pot anyway?”
Fujimaru 1:
Don't tell me you–uh, they used a Holy Grail to cook rice!?
Fujimaru 2:
A Musashi-style bento, huh...
I：Miyamoto Iori:
...It turned out incredibly...INCREDIBLY good!
I：Miyamoto Iori:
Since the rice the swordfighter made with the Holy Grail was the best they'd ever had in their life, and they were so, so hungry, they decided to try making udon in it next.
I：Miyamoto Iori:
That's when it happened...
J：Miyamoto Iori:
A new, completely unprecedented kind of anomaly.
J：Miyamoto Iori:
The swordfighter's association with Buddhism acquired over years of ascetic practice reacted poorly to the Grail.
J：Miyamoto Iori:
It separated itself from the swordfighter's Spirit Origin...and manifested independently as a Heavenly Demon!
J：Miyamoto Iori:
The swordfighter hurriedly tried to stop it, but it was too late. The Heavenly Demon had already stolen the swordfighter's skill with the sword...
J：Miyamoto Iori:
...and as a result, they...she...ended up turning into a Berserker...
Miyamoto Iori:
It's a tragedy. At a loss for what to do next, the girl decided to forget about the Heavenly Demon and went on her way.
Miyamoto Iori:
But it wasn't long before the guilt of letting this fiend loose on the world, which may well lead to terrible disaster, got to her...
Miyamoto Iori:
...so she decided to talk to a shady mage she once happened to run into in a weird underground cavern...
Miyamoto Iori:
...and asked him what she could do to clean up her mess.
Merlin:
That would be me, in case it wasn't clear.
Merlin:
She wasn't my type by any means, but she was serious enough about this to threaten me with her swords.
Merlin:
At any rate, I may be heartless, but I'm not an animal, so I told her:
Merlin:
“All right, let's seal away the area where this Heavenly Demon thing is roaming around.”
Merlin:
“If I'm not mistaken, you've locked down an entire island with the enemy in it before, right? That's the right call for this situation too.”
Merlin:
“Fortunately, I happen to know a king who can do something similar, so I'll see if she can't help us.”
Summer Lion King:
...So that is where I come in.
Merlin:
Right you are. I led Altria to the Grand Canyon and convinced her to build a city in the middle of it.
Merlin:
A second Las Vegas, identical to the first, save for it being an imitation. So with the Heavenly Demon sealed away–
Miyamoto Iori:
...They then came up with a system to select someone with the potential to defeat this Heavenly Demon.
Fujimaru 1:
Okay, so...why Swimsuit Swordmasters?
Merlin:
For that, I think you can blame the temperament of the swordfighter who caused all this.
Merlin:
This Heavenly Demon is picky about her opponents, and won't accept defeat unless it's at the hands of another Saber.
Fujimaru 1:
Ahh, now I get it...
Fujimaru 2:
Sounds like something I heard about at a hot springs inn somewhere...
Miyamoto Iori:
Ehehe.
Summer Lion King:
So as I am now a Ruler, I cannot defeat this Heavenly Demon myself.
Summer Lion King:
And the one who caused this mess cannot clean it up by herself either, now that she is a Berserker.
Summer Lion King:
Even if she won, the Heavenly Demon would only absorb her, becoming a demon king with the potential to wreak even more havoc.
Summer Lion King:
So she needed someone who could fight in her stead.
Miyamoto Iori:
Right. The swordfighter decided to look for a Swimsuit Swordmaster who could defeat Heavenly Demon Musashi as a Saber...
Miyamoto Iori:
...and to do whatever she could to help them.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Umm... Lady Iori?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Based on everythin' ya told us, it, um...don't sound like there's too many swordfighters who fit that description.
Katsushika Hokusai:
In fact, it kinda sounded ta me like you were talkin' about yourself... Lady Iori?
Siegfried:
!
Siegfried:
What is that!? This magical energy is practically dripping with bloodlust... Master!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Wh-what's goin' on? Where'd all the pretty buildings go!?
Fuuma Kotarou:
The magical energy textures covering the city just went flying! This must be this land's original–No, that's not it!
Fuuma Kotarou:
The Heavenly Demon is changing this land into what it looked like before the Summer Lion King made it into Dazzling Las Vegas!
Mash:
Master, get back!
Fujimaru 1:
I'm okay!
Fujimaru 2:
You be careful too, Mash!
Mash:
I will!
Osakabehime:
Oh, this is SO yabad!!!
Summer Lion King:
...Impressive. This aura would drive any ordinary person to madness on the spot.
Siegfried:
Don't worry, Master. We'll be your shield.
Carmilla:
Oh, this is going to be a hassle... It's not just magical energy. I don't sense any limit to her animosity either.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...What the hell is that?
Katsushika Hokusai:
(This is just like when I first saw the Summer Lion King... No, it's even stronger...!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Iori said this swordfighter lady was lookin' ta raise a Saber Swimsuit Swordmaster who could defeat this Heavenly Demon thing, right?)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(And she had ta be talkin' about me, right?)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(I never sensed such a vengeful spirit bearing so much hatred as this Heavenly Demon thing before... Am I really supposed ta fight it, let alone win?)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(H-How can I possibly...?)
Miyamoto Iori:
There she is!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Aah!
Katsushika Hokusai:
(She's here! She's here, she's here, she's here!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(That dark figure...! She's about as big as any other woman, but I can sense the danger radiatin' off her!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(She's leagues beyond even the strongest Swimsuit Swordmaster!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(The grace of a swimsuit don't really matter here. She's a real swordmaster–a man-slayer who'll cut ya down if ya so much as get near her!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ulp...
Katsushika Hokusai:
I... I... What'm I s'posed ta do now?
Siegfried:
It took us a long time to get here, but we finally found the genuine article. This is sure to be the final battle.
Katsushika Hokusai:
!!!
Katsushika Hokusai:
(How's he movin' towards her!? He's gotta be feelin' this intense aura just as much as me!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(How're ya able ta do that, Lord Siegried!?)
Siegfried:
It's all right, Hokusai. That woman there is far beyond the bounds of a Swimsuit Swordmaster.
Siegfried:
If you are unable or unwilling to draw your swords against her, I will be glad to fight in your stead.
Katsushika Hokusai:
You... You'd really...
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Ah. Now I get it.)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(I was never a true swordmaster. At best, I just wanted to be one real bad.)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(But you... You're the real deal.)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Lord Siegfried, the Dragon Slayer of the West!
You're not just a swordmaster, but a hero!)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Compared ta you, I've just been runnin' around talkin' tough about bein' a swordfighter painter and a fairy.)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(But as soon as I come up against the real thing, I get so scared my knees won't stop knockin'... I'm so pathetic...)
Katsushika Hokusai:
(Ugh! I'm so pathetic I can't stand it!)
Miyamoto Iori:
Hokusai. Master. Everyone.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Lady Iori...
Miyamoto Iori:
Before we get started, I just wanted to apologize.
I'm so sorry. This whole thing was all my fault.
Miyamoto Iori:
I chose to go by my apprentice's name because at best, I'm about half the woman I once was.
Miyamoto Iori:
I'm sorry for deceiving you all up till now. The truth is, I'm not Miyamoto Iori. I'm Shinmen Musashi Harunobu...
Miyamoto Iori:
Miyamoto Musashi.
Fujimaru 1:
I had a feeling it was you, Musashi.
A：Musashi:
And you were right. Only this time, I'm a rootin', tootin', gunslingin', swordmaster Berserker!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Miyamoto...Musashi?
Katsushika Hokusai:
THE Miyamoto Musashi of the Niten Ichiryu!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I-I can't believe it... Things're movin' so fast I can't keep up anymore.
Katsushika Hokusai:
So this means...I've been fightin' alongside THE Miyamoto Musashi all this time...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Dammit. If only I hadn't turned out ta be such a dang coward.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I've been fightin' and winnin' side by side with the legendary Miyamoto Musashi countless times by now...
Katsushika Hokusai:
But that Heavenly Demon...
Katsushika Hokusai:
They got me so scared I can barely think straight!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I... I can't stand how pathetic I am!
Fujimaru 1:
Oei...
Katsushika Hokusai:
It's okay, Master! Laugh at me! I'm just an immature little brat with a big mouth!
Katsushika Hokusai:
That demon got ahold of Miyamoto Musashi's power of the Buddha, right? This is all too much for me!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I...
I...!
A：Musashi:
No, Hokusai. You've got it all wrong.
A：Musashi:
I could never have made it back here if it hadn't been for you.
A：Musashi:
The things you say... How you smile... The way you look up at the sky determined to take on the world...
A：Musashi:
Those are all things I had when I was younger...
Things that I'd nearly forgotten about!
A：Musashi:
You're the embodiment of infinite possibilities. You're the passion I dreamed of when I was young!
A：Musashi:
It's only because you challenged and witnessed the seven different embodiments of beauty.
A：Musashi:
...that I'm able to stand here now and face myself once again!
A：Musashi:
Specifically, I can't defeat my demon self on my own, so I need a Saber to help me!
Fujimaru 1:
That's putting it kind of bluntly!
Katsushika Hokusai:
...You mean...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...you...THE Miyamoto Musashi...wanna fight alongside me...?
Katsushika Hokusai:
!!!
Siegfried:
What do you say, Hokusai? I'm happy to help you any way I can.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Then yeah, you bet! If the legendary Miyamoto Musashi is invitin' me ta join her, you better believe I wanna be as badass as I can right ta the end!
Katsushika Hokusai:
If I didn't, I could never look myself in the eye again!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ain't that right, Toto-sama!?
Heavenly Demon Musashi:
...Were I to meet my father, I would cut him down.
Were I to meet a friend, I would cut them down too.
Heavenly Demon Musashi:
...My heart has lost any humanity it had. One cannot slay the void without giving oneself over to emptiness.
Heavenly Demon Musashi:
...The way of the sword is the way of oblivion, a path to Zero. All that I see must be slain without mercy.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ghh... Sh-she's right. That thing really isn't human anymore...
Katsushika Hokusai:
It's something that mastered the sword so far beyond what's humanly possible that it blew open a hole to somethin' beyond this world!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I know that fierce void... I know it too well...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Khh! I'm so damn scared it feels like my heart's gonna up and burst! But so what!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
I got the legendary Shinmen Musashi on my side! And the heroic Dragon Slayer! Not ta mention other Swimsuit Swordmasters from all walks of life!
Katsushika Hokusai:
No way I can't cut down a mere monster with an all-star lineup like that backin' me up!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I shall glare in all directions! I am the Swordbeauty Mad about Art, Katsushika Hokusai!
Katsushika Hokusai:
You want a fight, ya big Heavenly Demon!? You got it!
Let's do this thing!!!
Heavenly Demon Musashi:
...Ridiculous. No minnow swimming upstream can hope to stand against me. That hot blood of yours will soon be no more than nourishment for my blade!
Section 1: Title
Katsushika Hokusai:
Gaah! I managed ta win, an' I still couldn't kill it!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I hate ta say it, but this is the best I got! Finish it, Lady Musashi!
Musashi:
You did great! I'll take it from here!
Though not without a little help!
Lambda:
So this is why you ordered that giant tsunami from me. I take it this is where you want it delivered then?
Musashi:
It sure is! One swordmaster on ice, please!
Lambda:
Not a problem. I was saving this to drown the Lion King and her Las Vegas, but I'm fine using it on an opponent like this.
Lambda:
Prepare to face the serpent of judgment...
Leviathan Melt Purge!
Musashi:
Perfect! This is exactly what it was like back then!
Musashi:
Mystic sword counter, incoming!
Musashi:
Here goes! Anti-Swordsman and Anti-Swordmaster Grand Bounded Field!
Musashi:
This...is my...
Musashi:
Ganryu-jima!!!
All Settled!
Narration:
...And with that, it was gone.
Narration:
The demon that possessed the Holy Grail in western North America disappeared along with the fleeting, dazzling version of Las Vegas like so much sea-foam.
Narration:
That is to say...
Narration:
This was nothin' less than the female Musashi's incredible art of swordsmanship!
Narration:
A special Spirit Origin born to humiliate, decimate, and utterly crush swordfighters who had fallen to evil, wickedness, and wrongdoing!
Narration:
Her mystic sword counter...also known as the Anti-Swordsman and Anti-Swordmaster Grand Bounded Field Ganryu-jima.
Narration:
Using the wind created from the five rings of her swords–earth, water, fire, wind, and void...
Narration:
...she whips up a flood of seawater to surround her opponent, before slicin' 'em like the cascade of a waterfall clean in half!
Narration:
Now that's how ya get rid of a Heavenly Demon!
Siegfried:
I'm not so sure about that Hokusai. There are other Noble Phantasms that can...
Narration:
Nevermind, my apologies.
Da Vinci:
Honestly, I'm kind of in the same boat.
Da Vinci:
Usually, I'm happy to move on if all's well that ends well, but there is such a thing as being too willing to let bygones be bygones.
Da Vinci:
If nothing else, I hope this makes you think twice about cooking anything in a Holy Grail of all things again.
Da Vinci:
Seriously, you might as well inject it directly into your Spirit Origin at that point.
Da Vinci:
It's a mind-bogglingly dangerous thing to do. There's no telling what could happen, and not in a good way.
Da Vinci:
I mean, does it really matter how good the rice you cook in a Holy Grail might be...
Da Vinci:
...if it ends up creating a swordnado that lays waste to everything in its path?
Da Vinci:
...
...
Da Vinci:
...Hmm. Well, maybe it wouldn't hurt to try Holy Grail Rice just once, in a controlled enviro–
Da Vinci:
Nope, nope, nope, not going there! All that matters now is that you resolved the Singularity and made it back safely!
D：Da Vinci:
Welcome back, guys! You did great!
D：Da Vinci:
The minute Singularity in western North America's already begun to self-destruct. It should still stick around for a while, but that's okay.
D：Da Vinci:
The important thing is, it should no longer be able to affect humanity. Mission complete!
D：Da Vinci:
...Well, for the most part, anyway.
D：Da Vinci:
Musashi, we've still got a lot left to say to you, so you're not going anywhere for the time being.
Goredolf:
I'll say! I genuinely don't know where to begin!
Goredolf:
All right, for starters...!
Goredolf:
Holy Grail Rice!? What in the world were you thinking!?
Goredolf:
This undoes all the good work you did in Russia and then some!
Goredolf:
Servant Miyamoto Musashi! I'm putting together a special program for you that is damn sure gonna make you turn over a new leaf!
Amakusa Shirou:
Hahahaha. It sounds like you got up to some delightful mischief. I think I would have enjoyed it.
Amakusa Shirou:
But you should probably try to stay out of trouble for a while. Yes, the next time you think to make rice...
Amakusa Shirou:
And you happen to see a Holy Grail...
Amakusa Shirou:
Please. Give me a call.
Altria:
...You cooked rice in a Holy Grail?
Altria:
That seems an act of pure insanity, but I suppose you would not have done so unless there were truly no alternative.
Altria:
Congratulations on your safe return, Lady Musashi.
Rest well. You have earned it.
Altria:
...Hmm. Cooking rice in a Holy Grail, huh...
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Hm?
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Well now, if it isn't Lady Musashi. I am glad to see you and Master returned safely.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
To think that a single meal could lead to such an ordeal... But then, I would expect no less from one of your caliber.
Musashi:
...
Musashi:
......
Musashi:
............
Fujimaru 1:
Musashi?
Fujimaru 2:
...You won't do it again, right?
Musashi:
I'm sorry...
Musashi:
I'm so, so sorry...
Musashi:
Even at the time, I vaguely remember thinking this could destroy the entire western seaboard...
Musashi:
...and hoping I could do something to fix it without causing too much trouble.
Musashi:
But then, instead of taking responsibility, I pretended to be someone I'm not, and...
Musashi:
...I'm really, really sorry.
Fujimaru 1:
I know, Musashi. It's okay.
Fujimaru 2:
It's all right. I know you didn't mean for this to happen.
Musashi:
...Thanks, Fujimaru. That's really nice of you...
Musashi:
...
...
Musashi:
......
Musashi:
......Sorry again.
Narration:
There she was: the great Shinmen Musashi Harunobu, looking sadder and sorrier than I'd ever have imagined possible.
Narration:
'Course, she wouldn't be deterred for long. The next day...
Musashi:
Okay, I'm gonna get going now!
Musashi:
I know I caused a whole lot of trouble this time, and believe me, I've had a change of stomach–er, heart.
Musashi:
No more Holy Grail Rice for me, no matter how hungry I get!
Musashi:
Later, Fujimaru!
Musashi:
The next time we meet...
I promise I'll make this up to you!
Narration:
And just like that, she was gone with the wind.
Narration:
Man, she was so cool. I dunno why she keeps leavin' Chaldea to go off on these journeys all by herself...
Narration:
But even though she comes from a completely different time, place, and world, she still don't think twice about it...
Narration:
...Now that's my kind of woman.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Well, there ya have it.
Katsushika Hokusai:
They do say this lady Musashi's pretty different from the one in our history, but she's still a hell of a gal.
Katsushika Hokusai:
And I got ta play at bein' a swordfighter alongside her, like we were in the same league. Ain't that right, Master?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Man, that's great. I couldn't ask for anythin' more.
Fujimaru 1:
Hokusai...
Katsushika Hokusai:
C'mon, cheer up! It ain't like I'm gonna die an' go back ta the Throne! I'm just goin' back ta my regular Spirit Origin!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Sure, I've never done this before, so I dunno what's gonna happen...but I'll still be me.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'm still your Servant, Katsushika Hokusai. That ain't gonna change.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Well, see ya!
Mash:
I've confirmed a change in Katsushika Hokusai's Spirit Origin!
Mash:
Now that the Grand Canyon Singularity has been repaired, the effect on her Spirit Origin should go away too!
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Heya, Master.
Katsushika Hokusai:
...It's all right. I remember everythin' that happened. I'm still the same person I was before.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I remember the Las Vegas where I fought Lady Musashi...
Katsushika Hokusai:
And wearin' a swimsuit...
Katsushika Hokusai:
And bein' a swordfighter painter with four swords...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...who dreamed about becomin' a fairy...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...
...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Lookin' back now, it's hard to believe I did all that. I never even held a sword before, and I don't even know if that story I heard 'bout my ancestors bein' swordfighters is true or not...
Katsushika Hokusai:
M-man, I sure had a lotta nerve actin' like a big shot swordfighter painter... And fairy? Where'd I even get all that?
Katsushika Hokusai:
...I was really kinda all over the place, wasn't I?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! What was I thinkin', actin' so childish!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
F-f-f-f...
Katsushika Hokusai:
Forget you saw anythin'!!!
Mash:
Hokusai!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
P-p-please, Master, just forget that all happened! That was me actin' out my most embarrassin' childhood dreams... I never meant for anyone ta actually see 'em!
Fujimaru 1:
Aw c'mon, you were really badass!
Fujimaru 2:
I loved it! The Swordbeauty Mad About Art!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Gaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!
Mash:
Um, Senpai, I think that remark only made her feel worse!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Forget ya saw anythiiin'!!!
Narration:
...And that's the long and short of it.
Narration:
Shamelessness and anxiety are both inextricable aspects of who we are.
Narration:
Like I said, no matter how much we may struggle against 'em, it wouldn't make any difference.
Narration:
I never thought the mistakes I made when I was young would come back to bite me like this...
Narration:
...but even so, I'll still say this:
Narration:
Everyone makes mistakes during the hopelessly childish period of their lives.
Narration:
Along with the not-so-childish period.
Narration:
But then again...you can't lump all mistakes together.
Narration:
Even if I'm embarrassed to death by these things now, there was a time when I used to believe in 'em proudly.
Narration:
Besides...putting 'em in context of everything that happened this time...
Narration:
...I can't say they were all that bad.
After all...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Hey, Toto-sama?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Even though I'm still so embarrassed it feels like my face is gonna burst inta flames...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...it still kinda turned out all right in the end, don't ya think?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Everyone's 'shamed of somethin' in their past. But it's all part of what makes up our memories.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Life ain't all sunshine and rainbows. Ya never know what's gonna happen in it, good or bad.
Katsushika Hokusai:
And since this latest incident inspired me to paint a picture this evocative...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...I figure it couldn'ta been all that bad.
Katsushika Hokusai:
I mean, just look how this picture came out, Toto-sama!
Katsushika Hokusai:
She's one of the strongest swordfighters ta ever live, an' here she is lookin' sadder and sorrier than anythin' ya ever seen.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Lady Musashi, huh. I like that.
Katsushika Hokusai:
One of these days, I'd love ta grab a drink with her in this Spirit Origin...
Katsushika Hokusai:
I bet we'd have a whole lot ta talk about!
All Settled! (Bonus)
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Unacceptable! Absolutely unacceptable!
Mash:
That sounds like...Lancer Raikou?
Mash:
I wonder who's being unacceptable now.
Fujimaru 1:
Only one way to find out.
Fujimaru 2:
We'd better nip this in the bud before it gets out of hand.
Mash:
Right!
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
What were you thinking with that outfit? No lady as young as you should go around baring that much skin.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
That sort of thing may fly in a tourist trap, but here, it is absolutely unacceptable!
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
You disgrace your past and present self alike by dressing so immodestly. Have you no shame!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
...Shame?
Katsushika Hokusai:
What do I gotta be ashamed about? It ain't like I'm goin' 'round in my birthday suit!
Katsushika Hokusai:
I'm gonna go 'round baring my skin to the sun as much as I dang please! Know why!?
Katsushika Hokusai:
'Cause I'm Katsushika Hokusai, genius swordfighter painter and future fairy!
Fujimaru 1:
Huh!?
Fujimaru 2:
She's back in her swimsuit Spirit Origin!?
Mash:
N-no, Senpai, that's not it!
Mash:
I can confirm that the original Hokusai is currently...in the cafeteria.
Mash:
So this one must be her own individual Spirit Origin!
Fujimaru 1:
I guess her two Spirit Origins must have gotten separated.
Mash:
Y-yes, that would be my guess too.
Fujimaru 2:
It sure wouldn't be the weirdest thing that's happened around here!
Mash:
Oh...
Mash:
You know, that's a good point.
Mash:
There have certainly been prior instances of a single Spirit Origin dividing into two...
Mash:
Jeanne Alter and Jeanne d'Arc Alter Santa Lily are a prominent example.
Mash:
But then, in that case...
Mash:
...what about the, uh, octopus-Hokusai, her father?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Oh, hey Master! Hey Mash!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hope ya don't mind that I showed up again outta nowhere after our teary farewell...
Katsushika Hokusai:
...'cause I plan on stickin' around this time!
All Settled! (Bonus 2)
Katsushika Hokusai:
So, uh, Master, I know it's a little awkward askin' this now, but...
Katsushika Hokusai:
What the hell is a Swimsuit Swordmaster, anyway? And Swordbeauty makes even less sense.
Fujimaru 1:
Are you serious, Hokusai?
Fujimaru 2:
What, were you just winging it all this time?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Hell yeah!
Katsushika Hokusai:
So? What are they then?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Lessee, there was grace, and blade, and... Uh, what was the other thing the Summer Lion King mentioned?
Fujimaru 1:
I have no earthly idea.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ah, whatever! It's still got a great ring to it!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Honestly, all those other gals in swimsuits I met out there in Las Vegas were all one of a kind...
Katsushika Hokusai:
So I guess we can just chalk the whole thing up as a summer we'll never forget!
Katsushika Hokusai:
'Sides, it's not like bein' a swordfighter, painter, and future fairy makes any more sense!
Fujimaru 1:
I don't know if I'd say that.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Oh? This sorta thing up your alley too?
Katsushika Hokusai:
Just kiddin'! Ahahaha!
Fujimaru 2:
You can say that again.
Katsushika Hokusai:
Ahahaha! You really say what's on your mind, don'tcha? I like that!
Katsushika Hokusai:
Anyway, it's good ta be back, Master!
Underground Swordbeauties Match
Mash:
Um, Senpai?
Mash:
I just realized something.
Mash:
Is it just me, or did the Las Vegas Singularity turn out to be a little different from what Yagyu told us?
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
There is still much I have to learn about the modern world and its customs, but even I have heard of this.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Every year, in the far-off lands of western North America, there is a grand competition held to determine the greatest Swimsuit Swordmaster in the world.
Mash:
Yagyu said that the Championship Match, aka the Seven Duels of Swordbeauties...
Mash:
...is held once every year in western North America, right?
Da Vinci:
Yup! There's a major contradiction between his testimony and the way this all wrapped up.
Da Vinci:
Dazzling Las Vegas, and the Grand Canyon Singularity that contained it, only popped up recently, right?
Da Vinci:
So how could it be an annual thing?
Holmes:
Precisely. There is a significant contradiction between his testimony and this incident's conclusion.
Holmes:
Dazzling Las Vegas, as well as the Grand Canyon Singularity that contained it, are very recent creations.
Holmes:
And yet, Tajima-no-kami said it was an annual event, as though it had been taking place for many years prior.
D：Da Vinci:
...Hey, Holmes? Were you doing the thing where you knew the truth all along...
D：Da Vinci:
...but chose not to say anything until you had conclusive evidence AGAIN?
D：Da Vinci:
Are you serious!?
D：Da Vinci:
Say something, dammit!
Ugh, you're the WORST!
Siegfried:
...I'm sorry to interrupt in the middle of a conversation, Master.
Siegfried:
...
...
Siegfried:
The truth is...well...
Mash:
Siegfried?
Fujimaru 1:
Is everything okay?
Fujimaru 2:
Are you sure you're all right?
Siegfried:
Yes, I'm fine.
Siegfried:
It's just that...I can't help but feel like my own problem still hasn't been resolved.
Siegfried:
I feel like there is still fighting I must do...
and while wearing this summer outfit!
Fuuma Kotarou:
As a matter of fact, Master...
Fuuma Kotarou:
I have the same uneasy feeling as well! I was sure we'd defeated the cause of this Singularity, and yet...
Fuuma Kotarou:
Dammit... How could I have been so careless...
Fujimaru 1:
Oh no. Does this mean–!?
Merlin:
That's right! The Swimsuit Swordmaster duels are still not over!
Fujimaru 1:
It's you! The Grand Scumbag!
Merlin:
I believe you mean “Mister Merlin, mage of summer!”
And yes, it's me again!
Merlin:
Now, what was it again? Oh yes, Swimsuit Swordmasters! Ahahaha, did you really think it was all over?
Merlin:
Well, you couldn't be more wrong. Those casino managers never actually had anything to do with Swimsuit Swordmasters!
Merlin:
Neither did the Heavenly Demon! They were all just taking advantage of the existing matches!
Merlin:
In other words...
Merlin:
...the true Swimsuit Swordmaster duels are far from over.
Merlin:
In fact, it has only just begun.
Merlin:
An event where Heroic Spirits from all walks of life–past, present, East, West, and so on...
Merlin:
...all gather together in order to do one thing:
Fight.
Merlin:
They fight to determine which of them is the strongest, and to create one final summer memory!
Merlin:
That!
Merlin:
Is the true Late Summer Championship Match!
Merlin:
Also known as...the Secret Seven Duels of Swordbeauties!!!
Fujimaru 1:
Late summer?
Fujimaru 2:
What do you mean?
Siegfried:
The... The Secret Seven Duels of Swordbeauties!!!
Siegfried:
I can feel my pulse pounding! My blood boiling! My heart heaving! Even I can't believe how excited I am!
Fuuma Kotarou:
Me neither! Ghh, I've never wanted to fight so badly... And I have to do so in this outfit!
Fuuma Kotarou:
I'm not even in my shinobi uniform!
Wh-What's wrong with me...!?
Fujimaru 1:
Siegfried! Kotarou!
Fujimaru 2:
Come on guys, keep it together!
Mash:
H-huh? I think I'm starting to tremble with anticipation too!
Merlin:
That's right! This event is so powerful even spectators get worked up! Now, go on, Master!
Merlin:
Summer has only just begun! Go! Enjoy yourself until this Singularity disappears entirely!
Merlin:
As the producer, I'll make sure this turns out to be an especially intense summer!
Kojirou:
...Hmm, hmm.
Kojirou:
With all that said, I do not feel as though I have a firm grasp on the nature of the Seven Duels of Swordbeauties.
Kojirou:
Is this truly an event that takes place annually in western North America? Who can say?
Kojirou:
That mage did not actually say anything to that effect, did he?
Kojirou:
Simply agreeing made it seem to me as though he were only creating the impression that that was indeed the case...
Kojirou:
...while in fact saying nothing of substance.
Kojirou:
But...enough nitpicking.
Kojirou:
There is no longer a Holy Grail causing anomalies in that land.
Kojirou:
There are but Swimsuit Swordmasters gathered in search of the true beauty of battle.
Kojirou:
Along with some rather excited fighters who call themselves Swimsuit Swordmasters despite not wearing a swimsuit.
Kojirou:
Things could soon turn ugly. Only those who fervently seek greater battles should set their sights there.
Kojirou:
What about me, you say?
Kojirou:
Hmm, good question...
Kojirou:
I may not have any summer wear of my own...
F：Kojirou:
...but perhaps this Spirit Origin will suffice?
Goredolf:
...Um, can I say something?
Goredolf:
Is it just me, or is the question of whether these Swimsuit Swordmaster duels really do take place in western North America every year still very much up in the air?
Goredolf:
That mage didn't actually say anything about that, right?
Goredolf:
I know he said “That's right!”
Goredolf:
...but was he actually saying it about that particular point?
Goredolf:
Gnnn... Gnnnnnn...
Goredolf:
Will someone please explain this to me in a way that makes sense!?
Las Vegas Strip: Recollection - Antiques Poppyshow
Yu Mei-ren:
It's so noisy in here... This place is like a melting pot of human desires just waiting to spill over.
Xiang Yu:
I was told this Singularity was home to all manner of new entertainments...
Xiang Yu:
...but even I failed to imagine the sheer extent of this spectacle.
Yu Mei-ren:
Human desires are limitless.
Yu Mei-ren:
New forms of decadence and madness that people in the past could never conceive of crop up whenever the world changes.
Yu Mei-ren:
I've seen plenty of people turn feral from fear and hunger during times of war.
Yu Mei-ren:
Now, even amidst these glaring lights and overflowing buffets, these people are exposing their shamelessness for all to see.
Xiang Yu:
I'm sorry, Yu. I brought you here in the hope of showing you something new...
Xiang Yu:
...but all I did was end up showing you more of the same noise that has always troubled you.
Yu Mei-ren:
Not at all, Lord Xiang Yu. As long as I am with you,
I can find happiness wherever we go.
Yu Mei-ren:
Hey! How does a roulette wheel just happen to land on black five times in a row!? You sure this game isn't rigged!?
Fujimaru 1:
What's all the commotion over here?
Xiang Yu:
Oh, hello, Master.
Are you exploring this city of madness as well?
Fujimaru 1:
Something like that.
Fujimaru 2:
Technically, I'm on a mission...
Xiang Yu:
My beloved there was just “blowing off some steam,” as they say these days. It has been a delight to see her enjoying herself. She's as happy and bubbly as a little girl!
Yu Mei-ren:
I lost AGAIN!? Rrgh, dammit! All right, I'm putting it all on the next round! This'll turn it all around!
Fujimaru 1:
I don't know if “bubbly” is the word I would use...
Fujimaru 2:
Are you sure? It doesn't seem like things are going well...
Xiang Yu:
It's all right. My beloved tends to restrain herself far more than is necessary.
Xiang Yu:
I expect that is the natural result of her being forced to live among mortals for so very long.
Xiang Yu:
Her true nature is one who embraces freedom, flitting throughout this world as the wind sweeps through the plains.
Yu Mei-ren:
All right, I'm going big on the third dozen! That's got to cover all my bases! Actually, the hell with it! I'm throwing the rest of my chips in, too!
Yu Mei-ren:
You better not screw me on this if you know what's good for you, dealer! Got it!?
Fujimaru 1:
Aren't you going to help her?
Xiang Yu:
No, my ability to calculate the future would be cheating. ...Incidentally, the next number will be red seven.
Yu Mei-ren:
Gaaaaaah!!!
Fujimaru 1:
Welp, now she's flat broke...
Mash:
That's awful...
If she'd only talked to you beforehand, then–
Xiang Yu:
It's all right.
What my beloved seeks here is pleasure, not profit.
Xiang Yu:
She knows that if she were to seek my counsel, that would all collapse like a house of these playing cards.
Yu Mei-ren:
Dammit! All right, here!
Now hand over more chips!
Fujimaru 1:
Huh? She's still gonna keep playing?
Fujimaru 2:
That's the thickest stack of bills I've ever seen in my life...
Xiang Yu:
Ahh, she's beautiful even when she is flushed with passion.
Xiang Yu:
At last, my beloved is forgetting all about the fatigue she accumulated over her endless eons. She reminds me of an innocent young girl setting foot in the wider world for the first time.
Mash:
Um, that's great, and I really am happy for both of you, but...where did she get all that money?
El-Melloi II:
Fujimaru, do you have a minute?
I could really use a hand over here.
El-Melloi II:
King David is leading an impromptu auction in the ballroom as we speak...
El-Melloi II:
...and I think it may need to be stopped.
Mash:
Why? What's David up to now?
El-Melloi II:
It would be faster if you took a look for yourselves.
I'll explain further after that.
David:
Our next item is this priceless celadon porcelain from China's Jiangxi region.
David:
As you can see, this artifact from the Tang dynasty has been preserved in perfect condition. Cash bids only, please.
Gentleman A:
Porcelain from Jiangxi, huh. Could be something out of Jingdezhen, though its design seems a bit crude for that.
Gentleman B:
Don't be ridiculous. Jingdezhen originated in the Song dynasty. There's no way this dates back to Tang.
Gentleman C:
Then again, given everything else that's been sold at this auction, it could be another rare find...
Gentleman C:
Maybe it was even glazed in a kiln that predates Jingdezhen entirely...
Gentleman A:
Oh come on, that would change Chinese history as we know it. There's no way something that earth-shattering would be sold in a shady underground auction like...
Gentleman A:
Actually, now that I think about it, this is probably the only kind of auction where it would be sold, isn't it? I mean, I couldn't imagine something like that being sold openly...
Gentleman B:
Hmm. If it really is genuine, the fact that it's purchasable at all would be a small miracle.
Gentleman B:
Hmm... Do we make a bid on the off chance it's real, or not? Man, this is a bigger gamble than anything in the casinos.
Mash:
Y-yes, this is far beyond what I would have expected an auction like this to be selling.
El-Melloi II:
Right. Academically speaking, this is utterly outrageous. It would be a tragedy if these historical artifacts were to be lost without any record of their existence!
El-Melloi II:
I've been asking King David to shut it down, but...
David:
Why should I do that? Everything I'm selling here was just wasting away in my client's basement.
David:
What's wrong with giving the public an opportunity to see them?
David:
In fact, I'd go so far as to say I deserve a Planetary Peace Prize for this contribution to society!
El-Melloi II:
How is holding an impromptu auction at a hotel giving the public an opportunity to see them!?
El-Melloi II:
If these items really are that valuable, then they need to be sold at a proper auction to verified buyers!
David:
Hmm, even if I agreed with that, my client insists that all transactions be made in cash, so there's not much I can do.
David:
Besides, what kind of king of Israel would I be if I gave up my twenty-five percent commission?
Fujimaru 1:
Those margins are insane!
Fujimaru 2:
Who in the world thought hiring David was a good idea?
El-Melloi II:
Listen to me. Not only is selling priceless artifacts like this an affront to the entire field of archaeology...
El-Melloi II:
...they could cause untold disaster if they were to end up in the wrong hands!
El-Melloi II:
Just imagine if some unscrupulous actor made counterfeits out of an undiscovered artifact! No one would be able to determine which was the genuine article any longer!
El-Melloi II:
It would be infinitely preferable for them to remain buried than for it to come to that!
David:
Yes, well, I'd certainly be a bit more wary of that sort of thing if these relics came from the Middle East...
David:
...but see how all of these are from China...
David:
...I'd prefer if an expert in Chinese affairs handled that sort of thing.
Mash:
Why am I not surprised King David would say something like that...
El-Melloi II:
As you can see, Fujimaru, he refuses to listen to me. Would you please say something to him too?
David:
Oh, are you going to join the discussion too,
Fujimaru? Do you have an argument that can overturn the validity of my position?
David:
Of course, if you're here to talk business,
I would gladly opt for that over pointless arguing.
David:
Honestly, I've given some thought to the dangers El-Melloi mentioned myself, and I'd prefer to avoid them if I can.
David:
If you could take all these relics off my hands here and now, I would be more than happy to oblige.
David:
Let's see. In that case, I could lower my margins to only three percent, so...
David:
Yes, I'd be willing to let all of them go for just one billion QP!
Fujimaru 1:
I guess that's a bargain coming from you, but...nope!
Fujimaru 2:
Yeah, my QP counter doesn't go that high...
Yu Mei-ren:
I'm not paying you to stand around yammering,
King of Israel. How's my fundraising coming along?
David:
...
David:
Heh. Everything's going swimmingly, of course. Here you go: the proceeds from the last round of bidding.
Fujimaru 1:
It all comes full circle!
El-Melloi II:
Yu Mei-ren... So you're David's client.
Yu Mei-ren:
What's all the fuss about? Is it such a big deal for me to sell an old teapot just to make some spare cash?
Mash:
Does this mean these are all your possessions up for auction, Yu Mei-ren?
Yu Mei-ren:
That's right. They're furnishings I left at the hideouts I'd move around between a long time ago. Junk, basically.
Yu Mei-ren:
I still remember where those hideouts were, so I stop by now and then to collect the things that haven't fallen apart, since merchants always offer ridiculous amounts of money for them.
Yu Mei-ren:
I swear, I'll never understand what you humans see in this junk.
El-Melloi II:
How can you not see that this “junk” has incredible historical value!?
Yu Mei-ren:
I could understand a secret treasure from the sage world, but I can't for the life of me understand why you'd get so worked up over a piece of trash just because it happens to be a thousand years old.
El-Melloi II:
Those thousand years may have been nothing to you,
but they carry a great deal of weight for humanity.
El-Melloi II:
Even if you can't understand that, I'd hope you could at least treat them with a modicum of the respect they deserve.
Yu Mei-ren:
Don't you lecture me! Besides, unless you're offering to pay off my debts for me, how else am I going to get money for my casino war chest?
El-Melloi II:
THAT'S why you were willing to sell the oldest known celadon porcelain artifacts in recorded history on the black market!? You're a goddamn idiot!
Xiang Yu:
I foresaw that my beloved would end up in a dire predicament. I don't know why it came to this, but now that it has, we will do whatever we must to win.
Mash:
Senpai... I don't think we'll be able to talk them into seeing reason.
Fujimaru 1:
Then we'll just have to make them see it another way!
Fujimaru 2:
Then we'll just have to knock it into them!
--BATTLE--
Yu Mei-ren:
What's the big deal!? Isn't money SUPPOSED to be easy come, easy go in casinos!?
Yu Mei-ren:
Why's it okay for humans to gamble, but not me!?
This is Yu Mei-cist!
Xiang Yu:
Beloved... I think you should take this chance to cut your losses.
Xiang Yu:
According to my future calculations,
you will not win a single game of chance tonight.
Yu Mei-ren:
...I don't suppose you mean I'll lose more than I'll win, do you?
Xiang Yu:
I do not. You will lose every last one.
Yu Mei-ren:
What if I go big on a long shot?
Do I have any chance of winning that?
Xiang Yu:
None. You have many talents, beloved,
but gambling is not one of them.
Yu Mei-ren:
But, then... That would mean I came all this way to this city of vice and decadence for nothing...
Fujimaru 1:
Yeah, seriously, I don't know why you came here at all.
Xiang Yu:
Yu, my beloved, you said it yourself. As long as we are together, we can find happiness wherever we go.
Xiang Yu:
The night is young, and the moon is bright.
Why don't we go for a long ride outside of the city?
Xiang Yu:
There is nothing but desert there as far as the eye can see. It is a vast, untouched swath of land reminiscent of the Central Plains from ages past.
Yu Mei-ren:
Ahh, that sounds wonderful... Are you sure?
Xiang Yu:
Since I have materialized in this strange body,
we may as well enjoy it.
Xiang Yu:
Come, climb on my back. Let us run through the desert under the moonlight and enjoy the night breeze together.
Yu Mei-ren:
Gladly!
Mash:
...And just like that, they're gone. Honestly,
I'm not sure how I feel about being left behind so unceremoniously...
David:
Hmm. If I'm not mistaken, since these relics were entrusted to my care, I believe they now belong to me.
El-Melloi II:
Not for long. I'm going to ensure that you donate every last one to a reputable museum. On that, you have my word.
Las Vegas Strip: Drive in Las Vegas
Fujimaru 1:
Quite the scene, huh?
Mash:
Yes, it is. Nighttime is lively around here. It's nice going on walks like this now and then, isn't it, Senpai?
Mash:
...Huh? Did you hear that?
Carmilla:
Well now. Fancy seeing you here, little [♂ boy /♀ girl].
Mash:
Good evening, Carmilla.
I take it you're out on a drive?
Carmilla:
Why yes, I am. I didn't have anything to steal tonight, so this seemed like a good way to kill time.
Carmilla:
And as luck would have it, I was just thinking I could use another change of pace. How about coming for a spin?
Fujimaru 1:
A ride in a sports car? Don't have to ask me twice!
Fujimaru 2:
No thanks. It feels like it'd be kind of...unsafe.
Carmilla:
Oh relax, it won't bite. Trust me, you'll love it.
Mash:
What do you think, Senpai?
Mash:
...You're going to risk it, huh.
Understood. Then I'll come with you.
Mash:
The last time we were in this car, we were so focused on escaping that we couldn't really enjoy it.
Mash:
Oh, wait. What about seating?
Carmilla:
What about it? Three of you fit in there the last time, didn't you?
Carmilla:
So fitting only two of you in the passenger seat should be easy, even if you will have to share a seat belt.
Mash:
I guess so... The two of us together will still be a tight fit, but I suppose two is better than three in this case.
Mash:
Though I do have to ask:
Is it legal to ride like that in America?
Carmilla:
Hohoho, Servants hardly need concern ourselves with law. In fact, I'd love to see them try to write us a ticket.
Carmilla:
Now stop fretting and get in already.
I've got just the course in mind.
Mash:
Wow, the wind really hits you in a convertible,
doesn't it, Senpai? It feels wonderful!
Fujimaru 1:
Wooo!
Fujimaru 2:
It's like flying!
Mash:
I remember Da Vinci's ornithopter was structurally similar...
Mash:
...but you really can go so much faster on a paved road where there aren't any obstacles to worry about.
Mash:
...Um, though of course, you still need to be careful not to drive TOO fast, okay?
Mash:
If something were to run out onto the road, you wouldn't be able to –Ah! Carmilla, look out!
Elisabeth:
Man oh man, it's gonna be a busy night. My schedule's so jam-packed you'd think I was a super hot singer.
Elisabeth:
And you'd be right to, because I totally am!
Elisabeth:
All right, I'll have to hurry if I'm gonna get to (crash) my first show on time. Time for a little shortcut across the street...
Elisabeth:
Gah!
Mash:
U-um, is it just me, or did we almost run someone over!?
Mash:
Someone we thankfully missed because they dived headfirst into some nearby bushes!?
Carmilla:
Yes, you're right. It is rather refreshing to drive on a paved road with no obstacles to worry about.
Carmilla:
Though of course, that's only to be expected, since the roads' whole raison d'être is to let cars drive smoothly.
Carmilla:
That's why I always end up going faster than I mean to. But don't worry. I'm used to these kinds of speeds.
Fujimaru 1:
We must have just thought we saw someone... Yeah...
Fujimaru 2:
I didn't feel the car graze anything... I'm sure I didn't...
Carmilla:
You know, this seems like a good opportunity to chat. If there's anything you wanted to ask me, now's your chance.
Fujimaru 1:
Okay then... Why'd you become a phantom thief?
Carmilla:
You don't beat around the bush, do you?
Carmilla:
Well, it's simple.
Because there's something I want.
Mash:
I see... You mean like the Eye of Medjed?
Carmilla:
I prefer not to mention this overmuch because it's not very exciting, but specifically, it's something I want to buy.
Carmilla:
So I've been going after art in order to save up the money I need.
Carmilla:
After all, jewels are so much lighter and fun than big heavy stacks of bills, right?
Fujimaru 1:
Okay then, obvious follow-up: What is it you want to buy so badly?
Carmilla:
Hehe. I think I'll drag that one out for a little longer, so I can see the look on your face when I tell you what it is.
Elisabeth:
I get the feeling that reckless driver really did a number on me, but there's no time to worry about that now!
Elisabeth:
Next up, my (uninvited) performance at the costume party! I'd better hurry! Time for another shortcut!
Elisabeth:
Not agaaain!?
Mash:
Um, I'm pretty sure that was–
Carmilla:
Now, what were we talking about again? Oh yes, the purchase I want to make. I'm still in the planning phase for that, so you'll just have to be patient.
Carmilla:
Hmm, I wonder who I should ask to handle the building. They'll need some knowledge of architecture, of course...
Carmilla:
Maybe the Assyrian empress would be my best bet?
I certainly wouldn't mind if it ended up floating.
Carmilla:
Oh, I'm sorry. I just got caught up in my planning for a moment. You understand what it's like when you're looking forward to something.
Carmilla:
All right, any other questions?
Mash:
Well... I'm a little curious about this car.
It's no ordinary car, is it?
Carmilla:
No, it's not. Essentially, it's my Noble Phantasm–My Iron Maiden, given new form.
Mash:
...!?
Carmilla:
Hehe, don't worry, there won't be any spikes coming out from the seats. Unless I want them to, of course.
Carmilla:
My usual Iron Maiden isn't what I used when I was alive either. It's only a fantasy that became associated with me.
Carmilla:
Somebody believed Lady Carmilla must have had an Iron Maiden like that, and so I gained one as a Heroic Spirit.
Carmilla:
So now that I'm a phantom thief, it's only natural that fantasy would change to match.
Fujimaru 1:
I see, I see. That's very interes–LOOK OUT!
Elisabeth:
(Huff, huff) N-next up, my (“surprise”) show at MetalFest... Man, all these performances one after another sure takes a toll on–
Elisabeth:
Oh come on!!!
Carmilla:
...Damn, she's tougher than I thought...
Mash:
Did you just whisper something, Carmilla?
Have you been doing this on purpose the whole–
Carmilla:
Why, I don't know what you're talking about. Now, let's keep this drive and the pointless chitchat going a little longer, shall we?
Carmilla:
...I think I can finish this with the next one.
Carmilla:
Look out! The gas pedal is stuck!
Carmilla:
Damn, so close...
Carmilla:
All right, fine. I suppose we'll just have to settle this outside the car.
Elisabeth:
I'll say I had to look out! You could've killed me!
Elisabeth:
So you're the one who's nearly been running me over all night! And here I thought you were an assassin sent from an evil idol agency to ruin my tour!
Elisabeth:
It's a good thing my senses were already finely honed for my next show, or I'd never have dodged in time!
Elisabeth:
Seriously, I can't afford to get in an accident right now.
Elisabeth:
There's a mysterious gate to another world I was planning to go through (unauthorized) so I could fight monsters with the power of song for my fourth show of the night!
Carmilla:
Then you're lucky I spared you from inadvertently ending up as that world's demonic overlord. Say, if the shock of your new surroundings warped cause and effect, sending you back in time or something.
Elisabeth:
No way that would happen! I'm gonna fight there like the brave hero I am! I'll probably end up facing off with some woman in a red dress for the final battle!
Elisabeth:
Speaking of, what's with you?
You look different somehow...
Carmilla:
Hehe... Hehehehe!
Mash:
Why did she take her clothes off!?
Mash:
Huh? She left her calling card again,
but this time there's no message on the back...
Mash:
It's just a glamour shot of Carmilla in her swimsuit!
Elisabeth:
Swimsuit...!? I-is that what's going on here?
Elisabeth:
W-well, it's normal for idols to dress up in swimsuits! Expected, even! Besides, this armor practically is a bikini!
Carmilla:
Don't be ridiculous. You know that “practically” and “actually” are very, very different things. That dated armor may look like a bikini, but it's a far cry from the real deal.
Elisabeth:
Oh yeah? You haven't won yet!
Hey, [♂ Puppy /♀ Deerlet]! Whose side are you on!?
Fujimaru 1:
Me? Well... Um...
Fujimaru 2:
(Honestly, I think they're about tied...)
Carmilla:
Don't you dare drag Master into this. It's disgraceful. This is exactly why you'll never be a real socialite.
Carmilla:
You know, I thought you were beneath me, but seeing you like this makes me want to run you over for good.
Elisabeth:
Right back at you! Who cares if you have a swimsuit now? It's still just one new outfit!
Elisabeth:
Besides, if you're going to deny this is a real swimsuit, I can just take yours for myself!
Elisabeth:
After all, slaying monsters and taking their gear is something brave heroes like me do all the time!
Carmilla:
Go ahead! I'd love to see you try!
--BATTLE--
Carmilla:
(Huff, huff...)
Elisabeth:
(Gasp, gasp...)
Mash:
Stop this! You shouldn't be fighting amongst your...
Um, self?
Mash:
What are we going to do, Master?
I don't think they'll listen to us.
Mash:
Maybe we should find someone to help...
Heroine XX:
You two! Cut it out!
Heroine XX:
No crime will go unpunished as long as this space cop, paid three Vegas Burgers a day for her services, is alive and on the case!
Heroine XX:
You there, the driver of the red car! Do you know how many times my ether scanner caught you speeding tonight!?
Heroine XX:
Not only that, my detective's intuition is telling me you've committed a boatload of other crimes too!
Heroine XX:
Wait, wait, don't tell me...
You're a dine and dasher, aren't you?
Carmilla:
You couldn't possibly be further off the mark,
but either way, I'm not going to jail.
Carmilla:
Sorry you two, but that's all for tonight.
Carmilla:
I know I got caught up in trying to squash that pesky insect once I happened to catch sight of her, but I really was hoping to enjoy our drive together.
Carmilla:
And you know, I'd say it turned out nicely.
Thanks, little [♂ boy /♀ girl]. I'm glad we got to chat.
Fujimaru 1:
Me too!
Fujimaru 2:
Same! I enjoyed this drive a lot.
Mash:
I feel the same way. Thank you!
Carmilla:
Hehe, you shouldn't be so quick to thank me.
I'm quite devious, you know.
Carmilla:
For example...
Carmilla:
This could all have been a front to case a target I failed to steal before.
Carmilla:
So watch yourselves. Once you receive my calling card, it's already too late.
Heroine XX:
Hold it! ...Hm? What's this card?
Did she write her own ticket!? That's a new one!
Elisabeth:
Ugh, that was awful.
Elisabeth:
Well, enough about her.
I still have my next show to–
Heroine XX:
As for you, you're under suspicion of breaking and entering into crowded venues and using weapons of mass hearing loss.
Heroine XX:
Come with me. You can tell me your side of the story at the station.
Heroine XX:
Stop, or I'll have to add
“resisting arrest” to your crimes!
Elisabeth:
But I was just giving my fans what they want!
Mash:
I know I said it's nice that nights are so lively here...but there's something to be said for silence, too.
Mash:
Shall we take a nice, long walk back to the hotel, Senpai?
Las Vegas Strip: Bets by the Saint
Amakusa Shirou:
...Gambling?
Amakusa Shirou:
Hahaha, well, I did used to be a priest.
Amakusa Shirou:
I don't dislike gambling, but only when one's livelihood is at stake.
Amakusa Shirou:
Betting money for money's sake, well...
It still doesn't sit right with me, you know?
Fujimaru 1:
So much for that holy abstinence...
Fujimaru 2:
Gee, what a surprise to see you here.
Amakusa Shirou:
Hahaha, I'm sorry. Let's just say there were...extenuating circumstances.
Mash:
Wow, you're doing really well...
That pile of chips is enormous.
Fujimaru 1:
So jealous!
Amakusa Shirou:
As long as you don't fall prey to its charms,
the roulette wheel is a cakewalk.
Amakusa Shirou:
All you need to do is follow the law of probability wherever it takes you.
Amakusa Shirou:
Oh, I suppose learning how to read the dealer is important too.
Mash:
Even so, you seem really, really good at it...
Amakusa Shirou:
It helps that I don't care about the money.
In fact, I'd say that's my greatest strength.
Fujimaru 1:
Then I understand why you're here even less.
Amakusa Shirou:
You mean you don't understand what I'm doing here gambling?
Amakusa Shirou:
...Hehe, sorry, that's a secret.
Anyway, I think that's enough for today.
Mash:
You're calling it a day already?
Amakusa Shirou:
I am. Better to quit while I'm ahead.
Amakusa Shirou:
If I keep pushing my luck, it would only be a matter of time until the casino brings out a first-rate dealer.
Amakusa Shirou:
Here, would you mind exchanging these for money for me?
Amakusa Shirou:
I'd definitely rather avoid going up against a first-rate dealer if I can help it.
Amakusa Shirou:
I like to think I'm good at reading people.
That goes for both their thoughts and their actions.
Amakusa Shirou:
So I have every confidence that I can win against a third, or even a second-rate dealer.
Amakusa Shirou:
But if I win too much, they'll bring out a first-rate dealer, and then the jig will be up.
Amakusa Shirou:
So as I said, I make sure to quit while I'm still ahead.
Amakusa Shirou:
Unfortunately, now that I've done that a few times,
the other casinos probably have me marked now.
Amakusa Shirou:
And just when I'm this close to earning all the money I need...
Fujimaru 1:
Which you need for...?
Amakusa Shirou:
You know how we have more child Servants around nowadays, right?
Amakusa Shirou:
So I need to save up enough during summer that the one-two punch of Halloween and Christmas doesn't bankrupt me.
Mash:
I see...
Mash:
Wait. Does that mean you're saving up QP all on your own?
Amakusa Shirou:
Of course. My gifts would be meaningless if I didn't buy them with money I earned myself.
Amakusa Shirou:
Restoring humanity is my duty as a Heroic Spirit.
This is merely a personal obligation.
Amakusa Shirou:
Though that's not to say they're not both valuable.
You only get one life to live, after all.
Amakusa Shirou:
...Huh?
Mash:
That's weird...
Do you remember this casino being here, Senpai?
Mash:
I'd think we would remember seeing one of this size before...
Amakusa Shirou:
...Hmm. A new casino, huh.
Amakusa Shirou:
This should be fun.
Let's check it out.
Fujimaru 1:
Fun? You think...?
Amakusa Shirou:
Of course. Exploring the unknown is always fun.
It makes the days come alive.
Amakusa Shirou:
That's how I've always wanted to live my life.
Amakusa Shirou:
And I hope that's how you can live your life as well, Master.
Fujimaru 2:
You sure it's not a trap?
Amakusa Shirou:
Oh, it's definitely a trap.
Amakusa Shirou:
But the fact that someone went to the trouble of setting this trap must mean that there's a sizable reward to be had for besting it.
Amakusa Shirou:
So I see no reason not to try my hand at it.
Amakusa Shirou:
All right then, I'm going in.
What are you two going to do?
Mash:
Master?
Fujimaru 1:
Let's go with him.
Mash:
Okay! I'd be glad to accompany you!
Amakusa Shirou:
It's wonderful to see you two lovebirds getting along so well.
Amakusa Shirou:
Haha, I'm sorry. It was just so heartwarming that I couldn't help but tease you a bit.
Mash:
You're in unusually high spirits today,
aren't you, Amakusa?
Amakusa Shirou:
Am I?
Amakusa Shirou:
...Hmm. Well that's not good.
Amakusa Shirou:
The higher my spirits, the more likely I am to overlook potential gambling dangers.
D：???:
Yeah? In that case, maybe we better go with you.
Mash:
Robin! Kotarou!
Robin Hood:
I've been taking a few of these casinos to the cleaners myself.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Yes, he has, much to my consternation as a bystander who happened to get swept up in it...
Robin Hood:
Ah c'mon, lighten up. I really do appreciate you bailing me out with that smoke bomb back there.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Good grief...
Amakusa Shirou:
All right then, let's all go in together.
Mash:
...It feels like there's something different about this casino.
Fujimaru 1:
Like its customer base!?
Robin Hood:
Ah, there's no real difference between casinos.
Robin Hood:
All the more so if you're talkin' about one in Vegas.
Robin Hood:
Now c'mon, let's go make some money.
Fuuma Kotarou:
If there's something you'd like to do here,
Master, I would be glad to accompany you.
Fujimaru 1:
I don't think so, but thanks.
Fuuma Kotarou:
No problem.
Fuuma Kotarou:
What about you, Lord Amakusa?
...Lord Amakusa?
Amakusa Shirou:
......Fancy seeing you here.
Semiramis:
...Likewise.
Semiramis:
I take it you too have been lured in by this strange casino then?
Amakusa Shirou:
What do you mean by that?
Semiramis:
...(Sigh)
Semiramis:
I am quite certain this casino did not exist in this Singularity as of yesterday.
Semiramis:
So the fact that it sprung up seemingly out of nowhere must mean–
Amakusa Shirou:
Ah, right. It's luring us in.
Semiramis:
Indeed. So try to be at least somewhat careful,
you great fool.
Semiramis:
That goes for you too, Master.
This concerns you just as much as us.
Fujimaru 1:
You're right. I don't know what I was thinking...
Semiramis:
You are a good person, so you need to be that much more careful.
Fujimaru 2:
I'm sorry.
Semiramis:
Well, no matter.
Semiramis:
Consider yourselves fortunate that you happened to run into me here.
Amakusa Shirou:
Uh, yeah, of course I am.
Semiramis:
Heh. Good.
(Satisfied look)
Amakusa Shirou:
Anyway, if that's the case...I don't like our chances of winning here.
Robin Hood:
Are you freaking kidding me!?
Robin Hood:
You beat my straight flush with a goddamn royal straight flush!?
Amakusa Shirou:
...Now I see.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I don't like the way this is shaping up.
Please stay behind me, Master.
Dealer:
Heh heh heh... Heh heh heh...
Welcome to the third ring of hell...
Amakusa Shirou:
Master, Kotarou, I trust you two can understand what's going on here.
Amakusa Shirou:
Don't you think it's odd how whenever you hear about rings in hell, it's always odd numbers like first and third?
Fujimaru 1:
Oh, yeah, you're right!
Fuuma Kotarou:
True.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I don't think I've ever heard anyone mention the second or fourth rings.
Amakusa Shirou:
Perhaps that's because “four” in some languages sounds like the word for “death,” and that would be too on the nose even for hell...
Dealer:
Hey! I'm still talking!
Dealer:
...You are now in the rift between hells.
Dealer:
A casino of desperation that will keep you gamblers here until the day you die...
Robin Hood:
Oho. You don't say.
Robin Hood:
So what, we've been chosen to be sacrificial pawns or something?
Dealer:
Exactly.
Dealer:
This is a place of gambling where every form of cheating under the sun is permitted.
Dealer:
You can leave with your lives, or you can leave with your QP, but you're not getting out of here with both!
Fuuma Kotarou:
...Would you like me to set fire to this place, Master?
Fuuma Kotarou:
This Bounded Field isn't very strong. My Noble Phantasm should be able to break through it.
Fujimaru 1:
What do the rest of you think?
Semiramis:
What will you do, Amakusa Shirou?
Amakusa Shirou:
Hmm, good question.
Amakusa Shirou:
I think I'll start by winning at gambling.
Amakusa Shirou:
Deal me in.
Dealer:
Royal straight flush.
Amakusa Shirou:
What do you know. Me too.
Amakusa Shirou:
And according to the house rules you told us about earlier...
Amakusa Shirou:
...that would mean I win, since my cards'
suits trump yours. Thanks for the game.
Dealer:
...You.
Amakusa Shirou:
Yes?
Dealer:
You're cheating!
Dealer:
There's no way my hands could be losing to the exact same hand every single round!
Semiramis:
Did you not say all forms of cheating were permitted here?
Dealer:
Only for us!!!
Amakusa Shirou:
...Ohh, now I get it!
Amakusa Shirou:
You're the residual animosity of the Vegas gamblers who were kicked out for cheating.
Robin Hood:
Ahh, yeah, that makes sense.
Fujimaru 1:
Why would they be so mad when it's their fault for cheating?
Robin Hood:
That's just how cheating cheaters are. They think the world owes them, and get pissed when it doesn't pay up.
Fujimaru 2:
...What does one have to do with the other!?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Try not to think about it too hard, Master.
There's no reasoning with vengeful spirits.
Amakusa Shirou:
As they kept getting kicked out for cheating,
their resentment started to build and build...
Amakusa Shirou:
...and now, it's made a nest of vengeful spirits designed to lure in gamblers who know what they're doing.
Semiramis:
Hmm, I see. That would certainly explain why they lured me here.
Semiramis:
So, what now?
Amakusa Shirou:
Good question.
Amakusa Shirou:
What do you say we table the gambling for a while...
Amakusa Shirou:
...and go back to our original professions?
F：Dealer:
It's not faaaiiirrr!
Mash:
The enemy has changed into a combat-ready form!
Awaiting your orders, Master!
Semiramis:
Fine, fine. I suppose I can lend a hand.
Semiramis:
Ugh, and just when I was starting to enjoy myself!
--BATTLE--
Dealer:
I was supposed to wiiiiiin!!!
Semiramis:
...Hmph, an illusion. As I suspected.
Mash:
When did you figure it out?
Semiramis:
The second I set foot in the building. Naturally.
Semiramis:
Remember, I possess the Double Summon trait.
Semiramis:
To a Caster, that casino's true nature could not have been more obvious.
Semiramis:
I was rather looking forward to it, since one so rarely gets a chance to gamble with ghosts...
Semiramis:
...but then you had to go and ruin my fun.
Amakusa Shirou:
Hahaha, and I do apologize for that.
Amakusa Shirou:
But for what it's worth, I think it would have been a very dull game.
Amakusa Shirou:
In all likelihood, it would only have been a waste of your time.
Semiramis:
True. Nonetheless, Amakusa Shirou...
Semiramis:
...you are wholly to blame for this state of affairs.
Semiramis:
You will therefore use the money you won in your last bet to treat the rest of us to a good meal.
Amakusa Shirou:
Err...so you noticed that, huh...
Semiramis:
How could I not? Who do you think you are talking to?
Amakusa Shirou:
All right, you got me.
Amakusa Shirou:
I may as well spend the money I made off that vengeful spirit in this world.
Amakusa Shirou:
Come on, Master.
Amakusa Shirou:
Let's all take a walk around and see if we can't find a good restaurant.
Las Vegas Strip: Lullaby of the Defeated
In gambling, there are winners...
and there are losers.
In all likelihood, the losers outnumber the winners.
And now, another loser has been added to their ranks.
Fujimaru 1:
What's that sound?
Mash:
I'm not sure either.
It kind of sounds like someone running towards–
Atalante Alter:
This cannot be right!!!
Fujimaru 1:
What the...!?
Atalante Alter:
Please, tell me, Master.
Atalante Alter:
I have heard that one can earn a great deal of money in casinos!
Atalante Alter:
So then, why... Why...?
Atalante Alter:
Why did I end up broke!?
Fujimaru 1:
Uh...
Mash:
Um... Atalante, I'm afraid the key word in that statement is “can.”
Mash:
Just because you CAN make a lot of money at casinos, it doesn't mean you will...
Atalante Alter:
But... But even if I cannot make more money, I should not be able to lose all the money I had to begin with!
Atalante Alter:
(Sniff...)
Fujimaru 1:
There, there...
C：???:
Heh. I know that heartrending wail. The pain... The foolishness... The sheer heartache that comes from knowing what a dumbass you've been.
Atalante Alter:
Who goes there!?
Jeanne Alter:
Me. Duh.
Jeanne Alter:
I heard what happened to you, Atalante.
So you're flat broke now, huh?
Atalante Alter:
Yes, I am. What about it?
If you are here to laugh at me, go ahead.
Jeanne Alter:
Me, laugh at you? Never. Besides...
Jeanne Alter:
I'M IN THE SAME GODDAMN BOAT!!!
Atalante Alter:
...!
Atalante Alter:
You too!?
Fujimaru 1:
Yeah, neither of you really seem cut out for gambling...
Jeanne Alter:
(Shaking hands)
Atalante Alter:
(Shaking hands)
Jeanne Alter:
This is bullshit! How the hell're we gonna keep up with all these complicated rules anyway?
Atalante Alter:
Yes. Truly, I know how you feel.
Atalante Alter:
At least with roulette,
I know where I should place my chips.
Atalante Alter:
...Well, no, not really.
Jeanne Alter:
And then there's all those odds you gotta keep track of in Texas Hold'em and shit. What gives?
Jeanne Alter:
...Hey, gimme another Café Royale.
And don't bother lighting it.
Jeanne Alter:
I got that bit covered myself.
Atalante Alter:
I will have one cider made of pressed golden apples, please.
Atalante Alter:
Huh? You do not have that?
I suppose silver apples will suffice, then.
Fujimaru 1:
Um...
Jeanne Alter:
What is it?
Atalante Alter:
Is something wrong?
Fujimaru 1:
Do Mash and I really need to be here while you two drown your sorrows?
Jeanne Alter:
You dumbass, of course you do.
Jeanne Alter:
We wouldn't even BE in this Singularity if not for you, right?
Mash:
But we only came here to make it go away...
Mash:
Um, well, I guess I can have orange juice then...
Jeanne Alter:
Nope. Mash, you gotta grow up someday,
and there's no time like the present!
Jeanne Alter:
Get this girl a cocktail!
Bartender:
Very well then, a Cinderella for the young lady in glasses.
Mash:
U-uh, thank you...
Well, here goes...
Mash:
...Oh wow, this is really good.
I can feel myself getting tipsy.
Fou:
Fou!?
Fujimaru 1:
Mash! Speak to me!
Moriarty:
(It's all right, Master.
It's a mocktail. No alcohol.)
Fou:
Fou, fou fou?
Fou...
Fujimaru 1:
Phew...
Mash:
...
...
Atalante Alter:
I still do not think this is right.
None of it! You agree, Master, yes?
Jeanne Alter:
Ah, whatever. Who cares?
It's all just funny money anyway.
Jeanne Alter:
My book? Eh, don't worry. It's coming along fine.
Jeanne Alter:
So keep us company a little longer, Master.
'Cause if you don't, I'll burn you to a crisp.
Fujimaru 1:
You're freaking me out here!
Mash:
Senpai.
Mash:
I was watching Ereshkigal the other day...
Mash:
...and it got me thinking how maybe I should try to speak more cutely, like she does.
Mash:
Maybe it would help if I started going by Mashkigal...?
Fujimaru 1:
I'm sorry, Mash, but that's not cute. It's just a bad pun!
Mash:
Nooo!
Fujimaru 2:
That is very cute, but I don't think I could handle it!
Mash:
You think it's cute...?
Moriarty:
I see your Servants can get drunk on atmosphere just as much as you can, Master...
Moriarty:
Then again, I suppose that just goes to show how much influence you have on them!
Jeanne Alter:
Ugh, this sucks. I lost all my money gambling,
and I'm all out of ideas for my manga.
Jeanne Alter:
Guess this is what getting kicked when you're down feels like.
Atalante Alter:
I finally found the perfect present for the children...
Atalante Alter:
But the stuffed (mass-produced) hippogriffs were so much more expensive than I thought...
Ruffian:
Hehehe. How's it goin', ladies?
Jeanne Alter:
...
...
Atalante Alter:
...
...
Ruffian:
How's about you two chicks come with us and–
What? What's with the look?
Jeanne Alter:
Boy did you pick the wrong girls on the wrong day,
assface. Hope you got your will sorted.
Ruffian:
Huh? How come?
Atalante Alter:
Do you have any money? If so, it is ours now.
Atalante Alter:
I will hold back the best I can.
With any luck, you might not end up dead!
Ruffian:
Why's this happening!?
--BATTLE--
Weak Ruffian:
But all I did was...talk to them...
Fujimaru 1:
C-come on, don't die on me!
Weak Ruffian:
W-watch yourself out there, kid...
Don't let booze...get the better of you...
Moriarty:
Now that's what I call a mean drunk...
Jeanne Alter:
What was that?
Moriarty:
Er... Nothing, young lady. Nothing at all.
(No death wish)
Mash:
Bartender, could Mash have another one, please?
Moriarty:
Very well, but just to be clear, there is no alcohol in your drink. You can't possibly be getting drunk!
Mash:
Mash is okay with that.
It still makes for a yummy soft drink.
Fujimaru 1:
Now you're doing the third person thing?
Jeanne Alter:
Yeah, Mash. You're never gonna leave an impression with weak sauce crap like that.
Jeanne Alter:
You've gotta be more...Altery.
Mash:
Me, an Alter!?
Atalante Alter:
Hmm.
Atalante Alter:
I do not know what to make of that, so I will continue to ignore it. Barkeep, another cider.
Atalante Alter:
And how about some–
Achilles:
There you are, Big Sis. C'mon, no more booze.
It's too easy to go overboard with that stuff.
Achilles:
Hm? You're here too, Master?
Aren't you kinda young to be drinking?
Achilles:
Hahaha, hey now, don't be mad.
How 'bout this? Next round's on me.
Achilles:
Don't worry, I won't tell the parental figure Servants.
Atalante Alter:
...
...
Achilles:
What's up, Big Sis?
Atalante Alter:
All of a sudden, I feel like carrots.
Barkeep, some manner of carrot-based snack, please.
Achilles:
Huh? Why'd you feel like carrots as soon as I showed up!?
Jeanne Alter:
Hey, Hermes knockoff, I'm bored. Do something fun.
Jeanne Alter:
You're a Greek hero, right?
Can't you at least stop time or something?
Mash:
Yeah! Mash wants to see something fun, too!
Achilles:
(Yo, Master, the hell's going on around here!?)
Fujimaru 1:
(Well, those two are drunk off their asses.)
Fujimaru 2:
(Mash isn't drunk, but she thinks she is!)
Moriarty:
(I believe they're also depressed about their gambling losses.)
Achilles:
(Aw man, they tried to gamble? Anyone coulda told them how that was gonna turn out...)
Jeanne Alter:
Hey, what's with all the sign language?
You trying to exclude us?
Jeanne Alter:
If that's how you wanna play, maybe I'll go full berserk and burn the whole place down.
Moriarty:
Nooo! This bar is all I have going for me in my old age!
Atalante Alter:
I see that look of pity in your eyes!
Atalante Alter:
So you think I should stop here and save some money for lodgings too, do you!?
Atalante Alter:
Well, I cannot help it! I did not just want to win.
I... I also wanted to look badass!!!
Jeanne Alter:
Me tooo!
Jeanne Alter:
I wanted to saunter up in my best dress all cool and elegant and be like:
Jeanne Alter:
“Royal flush, bitches!”
Jeanne Alter:
But I couldn't exactly DO that when the best I could manage in the first few hands was A GODDAMN PAIR!!!
Jeanne Alter:
When I tried to raise the pot with a full house,
I bluffed so hard everyone else folded!
Jeanne Alter:
Then, when I went all in with three of a kind,
the other guy had a goddamn flush!
Achilles:
Some people just aren't cut out to be gamblers,
no matter how sharp their eyes might be...
Fujimaru 1:
How are you when it comes to gambling, Achilles?
Achilles:
Me? I'm awesome at it, of course.
Moriarty:
So I hear, young Achilles.
Moriarty:
They say you won so many games you nearly got yourself banned from the premises?
Jeanne Alter:
...
...
Atalante Alter:
...
...
Achilles:
Ha, you already heard about that, huh?
Achilles:
Guess it just goes to show what I can do when I put my mind to–
Achilles:
Uh......What's up?
Jeanne Alter:
You're gonna join us for drinks until you're drowning in our sorrows too.
Atalante Alter:
Indeed. Neither you nor Master are leaving until we have hit absolute rock bottom.
Fujimaru 1:
You're roping me into this, too!?
Achilles:
Ugh, dammit, guess we're out of options.
Achilles:
There's only one way out of this now, Master:
fighting!
Achilles:
Mash and I'll start by–
Mash:
...
...
Mash:
...Mash feels light as a cloud...
Fujimaru 1:
I don't think she's going to be much help!
Achilles:
Damn. All right, guess it's all up to us then!
--BATTLE--
Jeanne Alter:
......I'm sleepy.
Atalante Alter:
...Me too.
...Ghh.
Achilles:
It's a good thing they were so drunk. I don't wanna think about how that might've turned out if they weren't...
Moriarty:
I'll let them sleep it off on the sofa.
They'll wake up sooner or later.
Fujimaru 1:
Thanks.
Moriarty:
You're quite welcome. But I do insist that you take responsibility for seeing her home safely.
Mash:
Senpai! Senpai! Senpaaai!
...Mash is feeling reeeally tipsy now.
Fujimaru 1:
I'll, uh, make sure she gets home okay.
Achilles:
Haha, guess it wouldn't be my place to help you out then. Night, Master.
Achilles:
Sweet dreams!
Jeanne Alter:
I'm coming in.
Atalante Alter:
Um... I just wanted to apologize to you for last night, Master.
Atalante Alter:
Achilles told us what happened.
I am so ashamed of how I behaved.
Atalante Alter:
As Altera would say, I know now that drinking too much is definitely bad civilization.
Jeanne Alter:
I'm not sorry, but screw that anyway.
Jeanne Alter:
Why's Kyrielight flailing on the bed like that?
Fujimaru 1:
It looks like she remembers everything that happened last night...
Fujimaru 2:
Let's just say she wishes she could forget last night ever happened...
Mash:
Aaaghhh...
Ghhhhhh...!
Mash:
Please don't remind me, Senpai. I've never wanted to crawl into a hole and die so badly...
Jeanne Alter:
Man, now I wish I remembered too.
Did Mash really get that drunk?
Jeanne Alter:
Did she find her inner Jing Ke or something?
Moriarty:
As luck would have it, I just so happen to have a video file of last night's proceedings.
Moriarty:
And for you, Master, I'm willing to let it go for a very low price indeed.
Fujimaru 1:
Deal!!!
Mash:
Senpaaaaaai!!!
Fou:
Fou...
Las Vegas Strip: Royal Amusement
Iskandar:
Well now, if it isn't Fujimaru.
Mash:
Oh, hello, Rider–I mean, Iskandar, King of Conquerors! I didn't know you were here, too.
Iskandar:
While I'd like to suggest a contest of luck now that we've happened to run into each other here...
Iskandar:
...I'm afraid I have nothing left to bet,
since I just got taken for everything I had.
Mash:
You mean, you lost at gambling?
Iskandar:
Oh yeah, big time.
They utterly wiped the floor with me.
Fujimaru 1:
You're in good spirits for someone who just got their ass kicked.
Iskandar:
Heh, that's because I got to enjoy plenty of time on the razor's edge between success and defeat. That sort of thrill is well worth the money I lost to experience it.
Fujimaru 2:
Well that's a surprise. You seem like you'd be great at gambling.
Iskandar:
Hm? Well, of course I can hold my own when it comes to games of chance.
Iskandar:
I would never have become the King of Conquerors if it weren't for all those times I gambled my life and won.
Iskandar:
But, you can't win them all.
Especially when it comes to gambling.
Iskandar:
And for leisure pursuits like this where the worst thing one stands to lose is money, my usual inhibitions tend to go right out the window.
Fujimaru 1:
You really, really love entertainment, don't you?
Iskandar:
Perhaps, but I'll admit I chose to stay in the game longer than I should have. Though part of that is because my opponent did an excellent job of stringing me along.
Iskandar:
They turned out to be a real beast.
I guess today just wasn't my day.
Mash:
Was there really that good a player here at this casino?
Iskandar:
Sure was. In fact, they should still be killing it over at that table.
Fujimaru 1:
Qin Shi Huang!?
Mash:
Oh wow, I can barely even see him behind that mountain of chips...
Customer A:
Raise!
Qin Shi Huang:
Oho, you must have quite the hand...Forget it. We fold.
Fujimaru 1:
Huh? But they just lost that round...
Iskandar:
Judging by their opponent's mood,
I'm guessing the other guy was bluffing.
Mash:
And Qin Shi Huang didn't notice?
Iskandar:
Of course they did. They knew their opponent was gunning for them, so they decided to play along.
Iskandar:
Take a look. Now the other two players have started raising the stakes. In situations like this, Qin Shi Huang always–
Customer A:
Raise!
Qin Shi Huang:
Call.
Customer B:
I'll raise too!
Qin Shi Huang:
...Call.
Customer A:
Call!
Dealer:
And the river card.
Qin Shi Huang:
Check.
Customer B:
Ch-check!
Customer A:
...Check.
Qin Shi Huang:
So this is where we lay our cards on the table? Very well, let's see... It seems we have a pair and three of a kind.
Qin Shi Huang:
If we are not mistaken, this is what is called a full house, no?
Customer A:
Gnnn...
Fujimaru 1:
Whoa, really?
Mash:
I don't understand. If they're so good,
why would they keep calling instead of raising?
Iskandar:
To get the other players to lower their guard. They always make sure never to be caught in the cross fire.
Iskandar:
If they find themself becoming the center of attention, they'll keep flitting away until they can swoop in and reap the spoils of others' hard-fought battles.
Iskandar:
It may get results, but it's a sneaky, underhanded way to play, if you ask me.
Fujimaru 1:
That kind of tactic isn't your style, huh?
Iskandar:
I might not have much of a leg to stand on after losing so terribly, but it felt like I was playing a wall more than a person.
Iskandar:
Still, I have to wonder if they actually enjoy winning with tactics like that.
Qin Shi Huang:
Hm? Oh, Fujimaru.
We did not know you were here too.
Qin Shi Huang:
This should be a perfect opportunity to show you what we are capable of when it comes to contests of...diplomacy.
Mash:
I'm still impressed by what a good poker player you turned out to be, Qin Shi Huang. I never would have guessed it.
Qin Shi Huang:
Well, there was a time when numerous warlords competed for power, even in our Lostbelt. We must have spent hundreds of years practicing diplomatic negotiations without taking military measures.
Qin Shi Huang:
The only real difference with poker is that we merely need to read our opponents' expressions, as opposed to the state of their nations.
Qin Shi Huang:
If we had known we could forego sending ambassadors and conducting ceremonies in favor of having all the nations' heads of state come together to try to obtain their fellow nations' coffers by pitting their wits against one another in this manner...
Qin Shi Huang:
...we could have put an end to war long ago.
Qin Shi Huang:
Viva the Las Vegas casino!
It is a truly wonderful system of diplomacy!
Fujimaru 1:
Huh?
Fujimaru 2:
Um, I think you might have the wrong idea...
Qin Shi Huang:
And with all these heads of state competing for finances like this, we are bound to win thanks to our centuries of experience. Perhaps we should take this opportunity to rebuild our empire once we have bankrupted their nations.
Mash:
Um, I don't think any of the people playing here are heads of any nations...
Iskandar:
Of course, this is Las Vegas. I expect you could find one or two members of royalty somewhere if you looked hard enough.
Qin Shi Huang:
...What did you say?
Mash:
(Um... Why does Qin Shi Huang look so upset all of a sudden?)
Fujimaru 1:
(I-I think something we said set him off?)
Qin Shi Huang:
Hold it. Hold everything. Are you telling us these are not statesmen? That they are actually ordinary people?
Qin Shi Huang:
That these people trading vast sums of money while going about dressed in ostentatious clothing are citizens?
Iskandar:
They sure are. They're all regular people dreaming of that one chip that'll turn their lives around.
Iskandar:
Whatever their normal lives are like, tonight, they can all act like kings. That's the beauty of gambling.
Qin Shi Huang:
Inconceivable!
Qin Shi Huang:
We will admit, we did find it odd that these members of royalty seemed so lacking in regality...
Qin Shi Huang:
...but since no ordinary person could hope to compare to a Zhenren like ourself, we thought nothing more of it.
Qin Shi Huang:
We did also think it odd that these fellow rulers were wagering such small amounts...
Qin Shi Huang:
...but if those funds came from their personal property rather than their nation's coffers, that only makes this all the more inconceivable!
Qin Shi Huang:
The amount of money these citizens lost in a single round would surely be enough to change the course of their lives!
Iskandar:
Ah, now I get it. You never realized this was all for amusement.
Iskandar:
No wonder you kept playing it so damn safe.
Qin Shi Huang:
Of course we did. How many mouths could the money we won tonight have fed? How many newborns could it have raised into adulthood!?
Qin Shi Huang:
And you tell us that ordinary citizens are competing for such life-changing sums of money...for pleasure?
Qin Shi Huang:
That these casinos blinded these normal people by dressing them up and treating them as royalty in order to drive them to bankruptcy?
Mash:
Well, I mean, it's wonderful that you're so concerned about their livelihoods, but–
Qin Shi Huang:
It has been a long time indeed since we were this furious.
Qin Shi Huang:
That does it. We must use this anger to demonstrate what happens when the Heavenly Emperor is crossed. We must fight to utterly destroy this state of affairs with all our might.
Customer A:
Aah! What the hell are those things!?
Qin Shi Huang:
Go, our soldiers! Raze all of Las Vegas to the ground!
Mash:
W-wait! What about all the other customers here!?
Iskandar:
Looks like they won't listen to reason unless we knock some into them...
--BATTLE--
Mash:
I understand how you feel very well, and you have every right to be angry, but please, you need to calm down!
Mash:
Besides, you don't need to destroy anything! This will all go away once we get rid of this Singularity!
Qin Shi Huang:
...What was that? This is a Singularity?
Qin Shi Huang:
Hahaha! Why did you not say so sooner, you silly girl? We got all worked up for nothing.
Iskandar:
You really had no idea?
Most Servants figure it out when they Rayshift.
Qin Shi Huang:
Hmph. Compared to our perfect eternal empire, Proper Human History is utterly riddled with oddities. We can hardly be expected to tell what passes for normal here from what is strange.
Qin Shi Huang:
Nonetheless, it is reassuring to know that this den of wickedness will be wiped clean off the map.
Qin Shi Huang:
We take it you already know what must be done to repair this Singularity?
Mash:
Um, yes. It's kind of a long story, but...
Qin Shi Huang:
Hmm. Swordbeauties, eh... We see! This is all quite confusing, but we do understand that we are better off keeping our hands clean of them.
Qin Shi Huang:
Very well then, we will return to Chaldea and leave you to it. Good luck!
Iskandar:
And here I thought they might actually want to help. Silly me...
Qin Shi Huang:
It is a grand and glorious task, restoring all of humanity. Though it must be rather difficult for you to always be the one cleaning up others' strange messes.
Qin Shi Huang:
Should you ever tire of it, feel free to let us know, and we will gladly take the opportunity to begin rebuilding our eternal empire in earnest.
Mash:
I'm glad that's over with...
Iskandar:
I have to ask though: Why didn't you tell them there are casinos in Proper Human History as well?
Fujimaru 1:
Um... I think we'd better save that discussion for another time!
Mash:
I agree. We can tell Qin Shi Huang the truth about casinos once we've finished taking care of this Singularity.
Las Vegas Strip: The Fun Jet Tennen Rishinryu
C：Okita Souji:
It's time we settle this once and for all,
Man-Slayer Izo...
F：Okada Izo:
Ha! You can dress up your hick swordsmanship as Jet Tennen Rishinryu all you like. It won't make a lick of difference!
Mash:
Okita and Izo are going to fight a duel!?
Okita Alter:
Yes. They said today was the day they were finally going to settle things.
Fujimaru 1:
We have to stop them!
Fujimaru 2:
Where are they fighting?
Okita Alter:
They're at the outdoor pool.
Mash:
Come on, Senpai! There's no time to lose!
Hijikata Toshizo:
Okitaaa! On your right!
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Izo! Watch your left!
C：Okita Souji:
Almost there...!
F：Okada Izo:
You're miiine!
Fujimaru 1:
Both of you, stop it!
Fujimaru 2:
Knock it ooooooff!
Okita Souji:
M-Master!?
Okada Izo:
What the!?
Mash:
...So you were just splitting watermelons?
Okita Souji:
That's right. We were competing to see who could be the first to split one while blindfolded.
Okada Izo:
It was just getting good too,
before you came and interrupted us...
Okita Alter:
I'm sorry. I should have mentioned that the duel was only for watermelon splitting. I'll try to do better next time.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Hey, what's done is done. Now that you're here Master, why don't you and Mash help us eat it?
Oryou:
Oryou's having watermelon too, so you have no excuse. Go on, eat up.
Fujimaru 1:
That sounds great. Thank you!
Fujimaru 2:
I can't believe how cleanly these melons were split...
Mash:
Yes, I can see why they both made a name for themselves during Japan's Bakumatsu era. Their swordsmanship really shines through, even when they're only up against watermelons.
Okita Souji:
Aw, this is nothing.
Okada Izo:
What she said. This sort of thing is easy, even with the blindfold.
Hijikata Toshizo:
...So who won, anyway?
Okita Souji:
Why, that would be me, Okita the beautiful genius swordswoma–
Okada Izo:
Are you kidding?
It's me, the genius swordsma–
Okita Souji:
...
Okada Izo:
...
Okita Souji:
Oh please. As if this beautiful genius swordswoman would ever lose to the likes of you.
Okada Izo:
Don't make me laugh. Have you even looked in a mirror lately? Where's this so-called beauty you're talking about?
Okita Souji:
Fine then. If you're going to go there...
Okita Souji:
...then let's settle which of us is the biggest Bakumatsu badass once and for all!
Okada Izo:
Ha! Fine with me!
Okada Izo:
Your silly Tennen Rishinryu bumpkin excuse for swordsmanship always rubbed me the wrong way anyway!
Fujimaru 1:
Whoa, whoa, what are you two doing!?
Fujimaru 2:
Somebody stop them!
Okita Souji:
I'm sure you're aware of this,
Izo, but once we face off...
Okada Izo:
Of course I'm aware. It won't end until one of us is dead. And that someone's gonna be you.
Okita Souji:
Good, just making sure.
All right then, here I go.
Okita J. Souji:
Prepare to die, Izo! Photon missiles, go!
Okada Izo:
Wh-what the hell!?
Who brings missiles to a sword fight!?
Okada Izo:
Where's your honor, dammit!?
Okita J. Souji:
Honor? Really? Please. The only thing that matters when it comes to duels is winning them!
Okada Izo:
What the heeeeeeeeell!?
Fujimaru 1:
Shouldn't we stop them?
Fujimaru 2:
Man, Okita's still as ruthless as ever.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
Don't worry, they don't really mean to fight to the death. It might not be obvious, but they're actually good friends.
Sakamoto Ryouma:
I think Izo's really happy, getting to cross swords with Okita like this.
Oryou:
You think? It doesn't seem like that to Oryou. Not to mention they're not actually crossing swords at all.
Oryou:
Mm, this watermelon is really good. Have some, Ryouma.
Hijikata Toshizo:
Hey, Okita, we'll never eat all this watermelon ourselves. Go tell the others to join us.
Okita Alter:
Good point. Watermelon tastes better eaten with friends anyway. It's sheer deliciousness.
Okita J. Souji:
Ah! You better save some watermelon for me too, Alter Me!
Okada Izo:
Who cares about the damn watermeloooooon!?
Las Vegas Strip: Swimsuit☆Shinsengumi!
Mash:
You're investigating this illegal casino?
Okita J. Souji:
That's right. The Swimsuit Lion King entrusted me with apprehending the people running it...
Okita J. Souji:
...but this place is just too big for me to investigate all on my own.
Okita J. Souji:
So I decided to form a new, temporary Shinsengumi division just for Vegas:
Okita J. Souji:
The Swimsuitgumi!
Mash:
...The S-Swimsuitgumi?
Okita J. Souji:
And I was hoping you two could help me find swimsuit soldiers to join it.
Mash:
W-well, I can't say I see, because I don't...
But all right, we can help with that.
Fujimaru 1:
Are you okay with this, Hijikata?
Hijikata Toshizo:
What's not to like about a Shinsengumi full of soldiers in swimsuits? Especially if they've got huge knockers.
Fujimaru 2:
How come you're here, Hijikata?
Hijikata Toshizo:
Wherever the Shinsengumi go, I go.
Swimsuits notwithstanding.
Okita J. Souji:
You can just ignore the Vice Commander there.
Even that's more than he deserves.
Okita J. Souji:
Anyway, I figured soldiers in swimsuits would throw the enemy off guard, so that alone should make it worthwhile.
Okita J. Souji:
So how about it? Would you be willing to help out as honorary Swimsuitgumi members?
Mash:
A-all right. This is a little embarrassing, but...
Mash:
Mash Kyrielight, reporting for duty as an honorary member of the Swimsuitgumi!
Okita J. Souji:
Great! Thank you!
Okita J. Souji:
All right, let's get started with our first order of business: Interviewing applicants.
Okita J. Souji:
Okay, Applicant No. 1, tell us about your greatest talent.
Kiyohime:
I can tell exactly, and I do mean exactly, when someone is lying!
Okita J. Souji:
A Servant lie detector, huh.
That would be perfect for an inspector.
Okita J. Souji:
I'm just going to ignore how scary your eyes are and say: you're hired!
Mordred:
I'm Mordred! I'm real good at treachery and shit!
Mordred:
Oh, and if you need someone to fire off their Noble Phantasm several times in a row, just call me!
Okita J. Souji:
I-I don't know about the treachery part, but being able to use your Noble Phantasm multiple times would be great while out on patrol. You're hired!
Anne:
Hehe, I'm very good at sniping.
Hijikata Toshizo:
You're hired!
Mary:
Huh? But I haven't even told you about my talent...
Okita J. Souji:
Sorry about our Vice Commander. He has a real har–um, soft spot for women like Anne...
Marie:
I've always wanted to try being an undercover agent!
It sounds like so much fun, so please let me join you!
Okita J. Souji:
W-well, I don't know about it being fun...
Okita J. Souji:
But you do seem like you'd fit right in with Las Vegas's rich socialite atmosphere. Okay, you're hired!
Okita J. Souji:
Okay everyone, this is what you've been training for! Get to it!
Swimsuitgumi Soldiers:
Right!
Casino Demon King II:
Wahahahaha! Not even that accursed Swimsuit Lion King would suspect I failed to learn my lesson from last time...
Casino Demon King II:
...and am growing rich running another underground casino in a separate Spirit Origin even as we speak!
Oda Nobukatsu:
Right you are, Small Sister!
Everyone knows you never learn a thing!
Casino Demon King II:
Don't call me “Small Sister.”
Casino Demon King II:
I mean, I know that other version of me is a lot bigger, in more ways than one, but–
Casino Demon King II:
Huh? Why is the alarm going off?
Dealer:
H-how did you know I was cheating!?
D：Swimsuitgumi Inspector Kiyohime:
Teeheehee. You can't lie to me...
D：Swimsuitgumi Inspector Kiyohime:
Now hurry up hand over my dear Anchin.
Dealer:
Who the hell is Anchin!?
Dealer:
Aaaaaah!
Why's all the water spilling out of the pool!?
E：Swimsuitgumi Mo the Treacherous:
Woohoooooo!!!
E：Swimsuitgumi Mo the Treacherous:
Outta my way! What was my title again? The Swimsuit Soldier of Treachery? Anyway, make way for Mordred the Magnificent!
Bodyguard:
You've been snooping around in places you don't belong, brat. I hope you're ready to face the consequences.
G：Swimsuitgumi Mary the Pirate:
Hmm, maybe a little more to the right?
Yeah, that's it.
G：Swimsuitgumi Mary the Pirate:
Go for it, Anne!
Bodyguard:
Huh? What're you talking about?
Bodyguard:
Aagh!
F：Swimsuitgumi Anne the Pirate:
Hehehe, that's one down♪
H：Swimsuitgumi Marie the Socialite:
Oh my, just look at all those pretty medals shooting out of this fancy machine!
Employee:
Wh-what the? The odds of our slot machines hitting triple sevens should be slimmer than getting struck by a meteor on a morning stroll!
Employee:
This... This is completely impossible!
H：Swimsuitgumi Marie the Socialite:
Oh my, I got all sevens again. Now what am I going to do? I don't think I can carry this many medals on my own.
Employee:
This can't be happening!
Casino Demon King II:
Hmm... Welp, so much for this place. I'm outta here!
B：???:
I don't think so!
Casino Demon King II:
Wh-who're you!?
Swimsuitgumi Captain Okita Souji:
I am Okita Souji, Captain of the Swimsuitgumi's First Unit!
Honorary Swimsuitgumi Soldier Mash:
A-and I'm Mash Kyrielight,
Honorary Swimsuitgumi Soldier!
Casino Demon King II:
Crap! I should've known you were behind this! Though I'm surprised to see you're mixed up in this too, Mash.
Casino Demon King II:
Wait, what's with that jersey? Or is it a kimono?
B：Swimsuitgumi First Unit Captain:
This outfit combines the casualness of a jersey with the stealthiness of a black-and-white haori!
B：Swimsuitgumi First Unit Captain:
It's the Swimsuitgumi's brand-new uniform:
the Jaory!
Casino Demon King II:
Yeah, I don't really see how zipping around in a jetpack and stealth could possibly go together.
Swimsuitgumi First Unit Captain:
At any rate, we can no longer overlook this underground casino's numerous infractions.
Swimsuitgumi First Unit Captain:
And don't think you can get out of this with your usual GUDAGUDA nonsense. This outfit means I'm dead serious.
Casino Demon King II:
(Sigh)... Then I guess we have no choice but to fight.
Casino Demon King II:
Really, this is what our destinies were always leading up to.
Casino Demon King II:
But did you forget, Okita? A Saber like you's going to have a hard time against an Archer like... Aah!
B：Swimsuitgumi First Unit Captain:
You finally figured it out, Nobbu? That's right.
My Swimsuitgumi Spirit Origin is an Assassin!
B：Swimsuitgumi First Unit Captain:
So you can kiss that strong-against-Sabers advantage you thought you had goodbye!
Casino Demon King II:
Dammit! But you haven't won yet! I also know that Assassins' attacks tend to be kind of weak!
Honorary Swimsuitgumi Soldier Mash:
Um, I think that's enough meta talk for now...
--BATTLE--
Narrator Mash:
The story of Nobunaga's arrest quickly spread throughout Las Vegas. Before long, everyone had heard of the Swimsuitgumi.
Narrator Mash:
But the Swimsuitgumi's challenges were far from over.
Narrator Mash:
For just as Las Vegas's lights shine brightly,
so too do its shadows hide all manner of evil.
Narrator Mash:
Fight on, Swimsuitgumi!
G：Swimsuitgumi First Unit Captain:
The Swimsuitgumi is being disbanded!?
G：Swimsuitgumi First Unit Captain:
But why? Everyone in Vegas is talking about us!
F：Honorary Swimsuitgumi Soldier Mash:
Yes, well, between every casino we investigate being burned to the ground, or flooded from poolside Noble Phantasms...
F：Honorary Swimsuitgumi Soldier Mash:
...or being shaken down by pirates worse than any gang, or bankrupted by an unwitting socialite...
F：Honorary Swimsuitgumi Soldier Mash:
...I'm afraid not everything they're saying about the Swimsuitgumi has been positive.
F：Honorary Swimsuitgumi Soldier Mash:
In fact, there have been so many vociferous complaints leveled against us that the Swimsuit Lion King herself came to our headquarters to tell us she would no longer be paying for our expenses...
G：Ex-Swimsuitgumi First Unit Captain:
You're kidding me...
Hijikata Toshizo:
So that was the Swimsuit Lion King...
Now that's my kind of woman.
G：Ex-Swimsuitgumi First Unit Captain:
Will you shut up already!?
Las Vegas Strip: The Skyscraper Is Sakura Pink
Jack:
It's a bird!
Bunyan:
It's a plane!
F：Nursery Rhyme:
No! It's...
Okita J. Souji:
Shinsengumi-Woman!
Fujimaru 1:
Um... What are you doing?
Fujimaru 2:
It's raining Shinsengumi!
F：Nursery Rhyme:
Oh, hello, Master. We were just asking Shinsengumi-Woman to take us on a skywalk.
Jack:
Can you fly us higher than a Ferris wheel?
Bunyan:
Or me when I'm really big?
Okita J. Souji:
Of course! Skywalks are a piece of cake for my Jet Tennen Rishinryu!
Okita J. Souji:
Besides, playing with children always brings back fond memories of my time in Mibu.
Okita J. Souji:
I used to play with the children there all the time, too.
Mash:
It's wonderful to see Jack, Bunyan,
and Nursery Rhyme enjoying themselves.
Okita J. Souji:
Say, since you're here and all, would you like me to take you on a skywalk too, Master?
Fujimaru 1:
No thanks, I'm good.
Okita J. Souji:
Come on, no need to be shy. You haven't lived till you've gone on a good skywalk.
Fujimaru 2:
Um, just out of curiosity, how fast can you go?
Okita J. Souji:
I've never tracked it, but I'm pretty sure all those sonic booms mean I'm at least breaking the sound barrier.
Okita J. Souji:
Now let's go!
Okita J. Souji:
M-Drive Full Burst!
Okita J. Souji:
Okita J. Souji of Jet Tennen Rishinryu, taking off!
Okita J. Souji:
Just for you, Master, I'm going to go as fast as my limiters allow!
Okita J. Souji:
Let's go! Higher! Faster! Further! Quicker!
Okita J. Souji:
To the great blue sky and beyond!
Fujimaru 1:
Aaaaaaaaahhh!!!
Fujimaru 2:
I-I had no idea the g-force was this intense!!!
Mash:
S-Senpai! Please be carefuuul!
Okita J. Souji:
...Have you come to, Master?
Fujimaru 1:
Where are we?
Fujimaru 2:
So I passed out, huh...
Okita Souji:
We're on top of the Las Vegas Tower.
Okita Souji:
I'm sorry, Master. I guess I got carried away...
Fujimaru 1:
Don't worry about it.
Fujimaru 2:
It's okay. This was fun.
Okita Souji:
I'm glad to hear that. Thank you for understanding.
Okita Souji:
...
Okita Souji:
Master, there's something I've been wanting to say to you. Would it be all right if I told you now?
Fujimaru 1:
What is it?
Fujimaru 2:
Of course.
Okita Souji:
...
Okita Souji:
I'm grateful to you, Master.
Okita Souji:
As a Heroic Spirit, I used to be full of regrets.
But then, you summoned me to Chaldea...
Okita Souji:
...and I got to fulfill the wish I had as I wasted away, to continue to wield my sword for a trusted leader.
Okita Souji:
I even got to see Mr. Hijikata again...
Okita Souji:
...
Okita Souji:
But sometimes, I still can't help but think that...
Well...
Okita Souji:
I'm sure Mr. Hijikata doesn't mind,
since that's just the kind of person he is, but...
Okita Souji:
...what would Mr. Kondou and the other Shinsengumi soldiers think if they saw me now?
Okita Souji:
...
Okita Souji:
I-I'm sorry. You probably have no idea where this is coming from, huh?
Okita Souji:
Maybe finally getting the swimsuit I've always wanted got me so worked up that I caught a fever or something.
Fujimaru 1:
I'm not sure what you're talking about, but I know you're still you, Okita.
Fujimaru 2:
All that matters is that you're still you. So, wanna fly around some more?
Okita Souji:
Master...
Okita Souji:
Yeah... I'm still me, aren't I?
Okita Souji:
...
Okita Souji:
All right, what do you say we head back now?
Okita Souji:
Besides, I'm sure Mash and the others are wondering where you are, now that it's kind of late.
Fujimaru 1:
Heading back now sounds great.
Fujimaru 2:
That sounds good, but could you fly a little slower this time, please?
Okita J. Souji:
Okay then, make sure you hold on to me tight.
Okita J. Souji:
And I mean really tight!
[Underground Swordbeauties Match] Glasses No.1
Fujimaru 1:
You know, this has been nagging at me for a while...
Siegfried:
Hm? What is it, Master?
Siegfried:
Is there something on my face?
Or on my back?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Wouldn't the latter be a fatal injury for you, Lord Siegfried?
Siegfried:
Hmm. Good point.
Fujimaru 1:
I was just wondering if you ever hang out with Sigurd.
Siegfried:
Ah, I see. Of course.
Siegfried:
We may both be dragon slayers, but we wield our swords very differently. I learn a lot from talking to him.
Siegfried:
I never would have thought to cast my sword about like the wind. His cape is spectacular, too. It even conceals his back!
Siegfried:
Not to mention that our legends have a lot in common.
Siegfried:
I don't think it's a matter of which of them is right or wrong. My guess is that they're both right.
Siegfried:
Just as I succeeded at slaying the evil dragon Fafnir, so too did Sigurd slay the same dragon.
Siegfried:
Of course, the Brynhild I knew was not a Valkyrie...
Siegfried:
...and similarly, Lord Sigurd has never heard of my beloved Kriemhild.
Fuuma Kotarou:
It could be that your legends were conflated,
or that they diverged at some point.
Siegfried:
Either way, neither I nor Lord Sigurd pay much heed to our past legends.
Siegfried:
All we care about is fighting today to secure a future for the humanity of tomorrow.
Siegfried:
For that is our greatest joy.
Mash:
I'll get it.
May I ask who's calling?
Charlotte Corday:
It's the conceit!
Mash:
Huh?
Charlotte Corday:
Oh, whoops, I misspoke.
It's the concierge!
Charlotte Corday:
You've got a letter!
Mash:
Oh, thank you. Let's see...
It looks like it's an invitation...
Mash:
...for a battle to determine the best glasses-wearing Servant of all time!?
Siegfried:
!!!
Jaguar Warrior:
Do you love glasses!!??
Jaguar Warrior:
As we all know, glasses aren't just for correcting eyesight!
Jaguar Warrior:
Nowadays, glasses also symbolize knowledge,
intelligence, and beauty!!!
Jaguar Warrior:
Why, I get the sense that even I may have worn glasses at one paw-int or another.
Jaguar Warrior:
And really, what more need be said?
Ishtar:
Likewise, I'm also a goddess who may or may not have worn glasses at some point.
Ishtar:
Now, let's give it up for our handpicked crop of Servants with glasses!
Ishtar:
For those wondering about Yu Mei-ren or the Great Stone Statue God, both of them declined to participate.
Ishtar:
I guess they just couldn't be bothered to help liven things up. Honestly, there's nothing worse than a selfish brat who only thinks about herself.
Jaguar Warrior:
(She said, somehow without a hint of irony.)
Mash:
I asked if I could join too, Senpai, but they said I couldn't because I never wear my glasses in battle...
Fujimaru 1:
No fair!
Mash:
I guess there's only one thing left to do: have a pair of glasses made that I can wear during combat!
H：Da Vinci:
Isn't that like the textbook definition of putting the cart before the horse?
I：Da Vinci:
Isn't that like the textbook definition of putting the cart before the horse?
Jaguar Warrior:
All right, glasses Servants, it's time to find out which one of you...
Jaguar Warrior:
...is worthy to be the king, or queen, of glasses!!!
Ishtar:
The rules are simple. You'll all compete amongst yourselves to see which of you best embodies the smarts, strength, and luck inherent to glasses wearers everywhere.
Ishtar:
We'll start by splitting you into Group A and Group B for the preliminaries...
Ishtar:
...and the last Servant standing after the finals will be crowned the king, or queen, of glasses!!!
Sigurd:
Lord Siegfried.
Siegfried:
Lord Sigurd. I'm surprised to see you taking part in a frivolous event like this.
Sigurd:
Not as surprised as I am to see you doing the same.
Siegfried:
Ah, well... I expect that's because of this outfit I'm currently wearing.
Siegfried:
Perhaps my heart has grown lighter thanks to my being a Swimsuit Swordmaster.
Siegfried:
Or in my case, a Spectacled Swordmaster.
Fujimaru 1:
(So we're just forgetting the swimsuit thing completely now, huh.)
Sigurd:
It would seem we have been placed in different groups. I trust we are of like mind?
Siegfried:
Of course.
I will see you again in the finals!
Fuuma Kotarou:
I still don't know how their glasses sparkle like that...but I can't deny it makes them look even cooler.
Fujimaru 1:
That's just how glasses work!
Fuuma Kotarou:
You changed into your Atlas Institute uniform in no time! (You've grown so much since we first met, Master...!)
Jaguar Warrior:
Fifth question!
Jaguar Warrior:
Who was the poet who wrote “So this is the–
Murasaki Shikibu:
Semimaru!
Jaguar Warrior:
Mee-ow! To no one's surprise, Purple Shikibu knows her Ogura Hyakunin Isshu! And with that, she takes the lead by one point!
Ishtar:
For the record, the full question was:
Ishtar:
Who was the poet who wrote “So this is the place–
Ishtar:
Where travelers who come and go, meeting and parting–Whether they are beknown to each other: The Afusaka Pass”?
Murasaki Shikibu:
Phew.
Jaguar Warrior:
All right, which paw-nel would you like to open next?
Murasaki Shikibu:
I think I'll go with...panel number nine, please.
Ishtar:
History, huh? All right, let's see what's behind panel number nine!
Ishtar:
Arrange these three figures in chronological order!
Siegfried:
Nitocris, Ozymandias, Cleopatra!
Ishtar:
That is correct! Way to go!
Ishtar:
I'm impressed you caught the trick question fast enough to buzz in first.
Ishtar:
While it's easy to think otherwise given the way they usually interact, Nitocris actually predates Ozymandias.
Jaguar Warrior:
But Nitocris values accomplishments over seniority, which is why she has such high esteem for Ozymandias.
Ishtar:
I don't get it, personally. The further back we Heroic Spirits originate, the more powerful we are, right?
Ishtar:
So if I were her, I'd be lording it up over any pharaoh that came after me.
Ishtar:
But, to each Heroic Spirit their own, I guess.
Anyway, go ahead and choose the next panel!
Siegfried:
(All right, I managed to get one point back.
But, unfortunately...)
Mash:
It's too bad Siegfried didn't do better on the knowledge section...
Fujimaru 1:
He really un-lucked out with his opponents...
Fuuma Kotarou:
Yes... He was up against three Casters and a math professor.
Fuuma Kotarou:
But at least he should be able to turn things around in the strength section.
Ishtar:
All right, it's time for our contest of strength!
If you'd all go ahead and draw one of these lots...
Mash:
Lots?
Ishtar:
Everyone got their partners? Good! Remember, these are the same partners you'll fight with in the main match!
Siegfried:
...It looks like you're my partner, Master.
Fujimaru 1:
Me!? Are you sure that's fair!?
Ishtar:
Of course it is.
Ishtar:
This is actually another test of the mind! This one is designed to see how you overcome a two-on-one handicap!
Ishtar:
After all, we glasses wearers must always aspire to grace, elegance, and intelligence.
Ishtar:
And since you came in last in the knowledge section, Siegfried, you've been saddled with a curse.
Ishtar:
Now get your weapons ready,
'cause it's time for the preliminary battle!
Siegfried:
I'm sorry to ask this of you, Master,
but please be ready with a good Mystic Code!
--BATTLE--
Jaguar Warrior:
We have a winneeerrr!
Jaguar Warrior:
Siegfried shrugs off his two against one handicap like it's nothing and moves on to the finaaallls!
Ishtar:
No wonder you went down in legend as the hero from Niederland.
Siegfried:
Not at all. I could never have done this without Master's orders.
Fujimaru 1:
Does that mean they were smart orders?
Siegfried:
It does.
Siegfried:
Your order to “just use your Noble Phantasm to blow them away” was both simple and effective.
Jaguar Warrior:
That's not exactly what I'd call an intellectual powerhouse meowve...
Fujimaru 2:
My orders wouldn't do anything without your power behind them.
Siegfried:
I see. I'm glad to hear that, Master. I guess this means I've been blessed with smarts, strength, and good fortune.
Siegfried:
The last time the winds of luck blew my way was when I found the Rheingold...
Siegfried:
Perhaps winning this contest will finally let me shake off this jinx.
Sigurd:
So you bested your group. I expected no less.
Siegfried:
I was just about to say the same to you.
Impressive as always, Lord Sigurd.
Moriarty:
Ooh, my poor back... (Sore from using muscles he'd forgotten he had)
Osakabehime:
M-my eyes... (Blinded from the display of husbandos)
Sigurd:
I see. So your partner is Master.
Sigurd:
Mine is, of course, her.
Brynhild:
Here's to a good match, everyone.
Mash:
Brynhild!!
Sigurd:
My Luck stat must be better than I thought for me to draw my beloved Brynhild as my partner.
Brynhild:
...!
Siegfried:
Heh. They're really showing off. I see Master and I have our work cut out for us.
Ishtar:
...
...
Moriarty:
(That goddess clearly pulled some strings behind the scenes to ensure this contest would take a dramatic turn.)
Moriarty:
(Well then... Hehe, we shall just have to see how this trump card vs. trump card matchup plays out.)
Jaguar Warrior:
At long last, the moment you've been waiting for! It's going to be a battle between fellow dragon slayers to determine the ultimate King of Glasses!
Jaguar Warrior:
Which pair of glasses will have the smarts, the strength, and the luck to come out on top!?
Ishtar:
Excellent! The crowd's all warmed up!
Ishtar:
Don't be shy, everyone! Keep those bets coming!
Ishtar:
(Sigurd's obviously the clear choice here!)
Ishtar:
(Even if Siegfried does have Master on his side, he can't keep up with Sigurd's smarts!)
Siegfried:
Very well then... I'll make sure to hold nothing back.
Siegfried:
Glasses Gleam!
Ishtar:
...
...
Ishtar:
...Hm? What does he mean, hold nothing back?
Jaguar Warrior:
Then let this battle of the brains...begin!
Sigurd:
The answer is: tulips!
Siegfried:
The answer is Santana!
Sigurd:
Wind of Liverpool!
Sigurd:
Alonso Quixano!!!
Siegfried:
Pororoca!!!
Ishtar:
I-it looks like our contestants are equally brainy! (Man, and I only got as far as “On the Amazon River”!)
Siegfried:
Heh...
(Touching his glasses' temples)
Sigurd:
Heh...
(Pushing his glasses up his nose)
Fujimaru 1:
I-I didn't even get a chance to buzz in...
Brynhild:
Me neither.
Brynhild:
They were both so fast I couldn't keep up...
Brynhild:
Even for questions where I knew the answer, they always beat me to the button.
Sigurd:
Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, my love.
Sigurd:
If these had been questions that required time and deliberation, I know you would have done wonderfully.
Sigurd:
But this was a battle of speed above all else.
Ishtar:
Huh? Hang on. Does that mean you haven't been using your Wisdom Rune at all?
Sigurd:
?
Sigurd:
Wouldn't it be cheating if I had?
Ishtar:
...
...Good point!
Fujimaru 1:
Oh goddess... Tell me you didn't–
Ishtar:
It's fine! Don't worry about it! As long as he wins in the end, that's all that matters!
Fujimaru 2:
Oh Ishtar...?
Ishtar:
What? Why're you looking at me like that? I don't need your pity! Besides, the real battle's just beginning!
Jaguar Warrior:
All right then, let's get down to the contest of strength!
Both teams, at the ready!
Siegfried:
Are you ready, Master?
Fujimaru 1:
Do you think you can win?
Siegfried:
Of course. This is hardly the two against one match they think it is.
Siegfried:
With you on my side, Master, I have no doubt that we could triumph against an entire army.
Sigurd:
I must say, I feel as though I have also caught the Swimsuit Swordmaster bug.
Sigurd:
No, wait... I understand now.
F：Sigurd:
I, too, am a Swimsuit Swordmaster!
Fujimaru 1:
That looks more like a diving suit than a swimsuit to me...
F：Sigurd:
The important thing is that I can swim in it.
Now then: shall we, Lord Siegfried?
Siegfried:
We shall. The winner of this battle shall be both the true Dragon Slayer and Swimsuit Swordmaster!
Both:
Let's go!!!
--BATTLE--
Sigurd:
Khh... It would seem...this is it for me!
Ishtar:
...
...
Sigurd:
...Lady Ishtar?
Ishtar:
R-right... Ghh... W-we have a win... Win...
Win-win-win-win-win–
Fujimaru 1:
She's so shocked she can't even finish the sentence!
Ishtar:
I can't believe the underdog turned things around at the very end... And I had bet two-thirds of my fortune on what was meant to be a sure thing...
Ishtar:
That's it. I'm done with gambling.
From now on, I'm only dealing in futures...
Jaguar Warrior:
If you're looking for a sure thing, something tells me you're meowing up the wrong tree...
Siegfried:
You were just as formidable as I thought, Lord Sigurd and Lady Brynhild. Your teamwork was truly a sight to behold.
Siegfried:
The goddess of victory would surely never have favored me if I hadn't had Master on my side.
Sigurd:
Oh? Well, that's not a problem.
Sigurd:
After all...I already have a goddess of victory right here with me.
Brynhild:
...
...
Brynhild:
Oh Sigurd...
And Siegfried, who resembles him a great deal...
Brynhild:
You're both so very kind.
Brynhild:
Surely you must have realized that I was unable to unleash my Noble Phantasm...
Brynhild:
...as I was too preoccupied with resisting my urge to love you to death.
Sigurd:
If that's what you think, my love, then I'll say it again: you are the only goddess of victory I need.
Brynhild:
S-stop that...!
Sigurd:
Hahaha. I see your spear is just as weighty as ever.
Siegfried:
Heh. It seems I may have won the battle, but I lost the war of love...
Ishtar:
And I lost to my own bad impulses... Why?
Why did I have to go all–uh, two-thirds in?
Jaguar Warrior:
Maybe it's time you accepted the mantle of “goddess of careless mistakes”?
Ishtar:
No way!!!
Ishtar:
I'm not giving up until I've made enough money in Vegas to buy a new swimsuit for next year!
Las Vegas Strip: Even or Odd, Sink or Swim
Fujimaru 1:
Anyone around?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Yes, my [♂ lord /♀ lady]. Fuuma Kotarou, at your service.
Osakabehime:
What's going on? You playing Samurai Lord or something?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Yes, you got us.
It's so much fun, we couldn't help ourselves.
Mash:
Huh? You changed back to your regular outfit, Kotarou?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Oh, yes. I was wearing the other one so much that it was starting to get a little worn out...
Fuuma Kotarou:
I'm sorry to say goodbye to it, but it was going to happen when summer ended anyway.
Fuuma Kotarou:
At any rate, what did you need my help with, Master?
Fujimaru 1:
I was hoping you could come shopping with me.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Very well.
Fuuma Kotarou:
You chose some excellent souvenirs, Master.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I'm sure Lady Da Vinci and all the Chaldea staff will be thrilled.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I'm sure Lady Da Vinci and Lord Goredolf will be thrilled.
Fujimaru 1:
Say, isn't this the area where...
Fuuma Kotarou:
What is it, Master?
...Oh, it's Himeji Casino.
Fujimaru 2:
Oh hey, it's Himeji Casino.
Fuuma Kotarou:
So it is. That's the casino Lady Osakabehime used to run, if I'm not mistaken.
Fuuma Kotarou:
......Say, Master?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Why don't you stop by there?
Only if we have time, of course.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I know we frequented the casinos before,
when we were trying to repair the Singularity...
Fuuma Kotarou:
...but now that we don't have to worry about that, I thought you might like getting to just enjoy one normally.
Fujimaru 1:
Good idea. Let's do it!
Fuuma Kotarou:
Yes, Master. I'll be with you every step of the way.
Fujimaru 2:
Did you want to go there too, Kotarou?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Well... I won't deny I have some interest, too...
Fuuma Kotarou:
At any rate, I'll take that as a yes. Let's go!
Jaguar Warrior:
Meeyaaah!
Sitonai:
Hiyaaah!
Fujimaru 1:
You're still going at it!?
Sitonai:
We've been taking breaks here and there! All right!
This is going to be the one that clinches it!
Fuuma Kotarou:
Perhaps it would be best if we let them be.
Fuuma Kotarou:
...Hmm. I guess it comes as no surprise, but Himeji Casino certainly does have many Japanese games of chance.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Just in this room, I can see people playing hanafuda, tehonbiki, chou-han bakuchi...
Fuuma Kotarou:
This could be a fun change of pace from slot machines and roulettes.
Fujimaru 1:
Let's try chou-han bakuchi.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Good idea, Master. Chou-han is a classic, easy to learn, difficult to master kind of game similar to odds and evens, but played with dice and a dealer.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I've played my share of it before,
so I think I can teach you a few tricks, too.
Okada Izo:
Chou!
Hyde:
Chou!
Danzo:
Are those your final bets?
All right, the dice have been cast.
Danzo:
And...reveal!
Danzo:
...Three-four han, or odds.
I repeat, it's a three-four han.
Izo & Hyde:
Are you kidding me!?
Fuuma Kotarou:
...Putting aside the question of why Moth–I mean, Lady Danzo is handling the dice...
Fuuma Kotarou:
It seems Hyde and Izo are, well...
Fujimaru 1:
I feel bad just watching them...
Fuuma Kotarou:
Me too.
Fuuma Kotarou:
They've fallen into the classic gambling trap–losing their cool even as cold sweat runs down their backs.
Fuuma Kotarou:
They'll never win any games like that. They're just going to keep spiraling down until they've hit rock bottom.
Fujimaru 2:
Way out of their league?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Right. Any chance they might have had of winning is long gone.
Fuuma Kotarou:
As they say in Osaka, they've “done dug themselves deep.” I strongly recommend you only bet what you can afford to lose, Master.
Fuuma Kotarou:
All that aside...
Danzo:
Four-six chou, or evens.
Danzo:
One-six han.
Danzo:
Double-six chou.
Izo & Hyde:
Noooooo!
Fuuma Kotarou:
Oh my. They sound as though they've just taken a Noble Phantasm to the face.
Fuuma Kotarou:
The poor men...
Fujimaru 1:
Maybe we should try to stop them...
Fuuma Kotarou:
Yes, perhaps you're right.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I normally prefer to stay out of other Servants' affairs, but I'm sure they would prefer this to losing all their money.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Excuse me, Lord Izo? Lord Hyde?
I think you should call it a day and–
Okada Izo:
Hell no! I can feel it! We're on the brink of a comeback! (Narrator: They are not.)
Hyde:
Yeah, yeah! 'zactly! Since we just lost the last round, we're definitely winning the next one! (Narrator: Utter nonsense.)
Okada Izo:
Right! We're just getting started! (Narrator:
They're just digging themselves in deeper.)
Fuuma Kotarou:
Th-they're not listening to reason!
Fujimaru 1:
Then we'll just have to make them listen!
Fuuma Kotarou:
Understood! Preparing for combat!
Fujimaru 2:
Then we'll just have to pull out our last resort!
Fuuma Kotarou:
Yes, Master! Violence it is then!
--BATTLE--
Danzo:
Security, would you escort these two out, please?
Employee:
Yes, ma'am.
Okada Izo:
I'm not crying! I'm just sweating from my tear ducts!
Hyde:
Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!!! This can't be right!
Hyde:
...Huh? What do you want, Jekyll? Speak up!
Hyde:
What was that?
Hyde:
“It's obvious that Master is right and you're wrong?”
Hyde:
Shut up!
Hyde:
I'm gonna win the next round, just watch me! It's fifty-fifty odds, right? I'm bound to win eventually!
Hyde:
Huh!?
Fuuma Kotarou:
What a sad turn of events...
Fuuma Kotarou:
On a different subject:
Lady Danzo, why are you handling dice here?
Danzo:
Because I am working part-time here.
Danzo:
I, um...
Danzo:
Well, let me just say...I have a variety of, um, expenses...
Danzo:
At any rate, please do not worry about me. We ninja are as accustomed to mercenary work as a dagger is to a sheath.
Fuuma Kotarou:
...I see.
Danzo:
Since you are here now, would you and Master like to play a round, Lord Kotarou?
Fujimaru 1:
(She looks tough...)
Fuuma Kotarou:
Gladly.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I expect this will be less like a game of chance and more like a contest of skill.
Fuuma Kotarou:
But in that case, I am very confident in our odds. This sort of skill is right in my wheelhouse, as they say.
Fujimaru 2:
(I don't like our chances...)
Fuuma Kotarou:
It won't be easy, Master,
but remember, I'm a ninja as well.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I'm fairly sure I can take her.
Danzo:
I knew the fifth head of the Fuuma clan would be up for the challenge. Very well then!
Fuuma Kotarou:
Let the chou-han battle begin...
Fuuma Kotarou:
Now!
--BATTLE--
Fujimaru 1:
How was that gambling!?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Han!
Danzo:
...Five-six han!
Fuuma Kotarou:
Phew. That was a close one.
Danzo:
Yes, it was. Well played, Lord Kotarou. Now then,
I'm afraid I must be going. Thank you for the game.
Fuuma Kotarou:
?
Fujimaru 1:
Thank goodness you managed to win...
Fuuma Kotarou:
...
...
Fuuma Kotarou:
Oh, I'm sorry.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I was just wondering why Lady Danzo left so suddenly after our game.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I can only imagine she was working there because she wanted money...
Fuuma Kotarou:
...but we shinobi don't require money to get by,
so I don't understand what she would need it for.
B：???:
Master! Lord Kotarou!
Fuuma Kotarou:
?
Danzo:
Phew, I almost lost you.
Could I ask you to spare a little time?
Fuuma Kotarou:
What is it, Lady Danzo?
Fuuma Kotarou:
Did our victory get you in trouble with the casino?
Danzo:
No, I already quit my job there,
now that I have all the money I need.
Fujimaru 1:
What did you need it for?
Danzo:
O-oh, well...
Danzo:
You've both been so kind to me since I came to Chaldea, so I wanted to give you a present as a token of my appreciation.
Danzo:
So I was working a short-term part-time job to save up the money for the gifts I had in mind.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Now–
Fujimaru 1:
–I see!
Danzo:
Here, Master, this one is for you.
Danzo:
And this one is for you, Lord Kotarou.
Fuuma Kotarou:
That's...a new summer outfit!?
Danzo:
Yes. Exactly.
Danzo:
I overheard that you had put your new outfit away,
even though it suited you so well.
Danzo:
So I thought that, knowing the fifth head of the Fuuma clan...
Danzo:
...you must have been declining to wear it so as not to embarrass your Master.
Danzo:
I'm sure you thought that if you were going to stand by [♂ his /♀ her] side, you would need to look your very best, and you felt you couldn't do that with your outfit showing wear and tear.
B：Danzo:
...I hope I'm not being presumptuous.
Fuuma Kotarou:
N-no, not at all! I was just thinking you didn't have to do all this for me, that's all...
Fujimaru 1:
Aww, you didn't have to hold back on my behalf.
Fuuma Kotarou:
But, well, I'm sure there will only be more things you need in the future, so...
Fujimaru 2:
Now I see... So that's what that was about.
Fuuma Kotarou:
I, um... Yes. It's true...
Danzo:
Master, if it please you, would it be all right to have Lord Kotarou change into it now?
Fuuma Kotarou:
A-all right. If that's what you want, Master.
Fuuma Kotarou:
Pardon me then. I'll be right back.
B：Danzo:
...
...
B：Danzo:
Thank you, Master.
Lord Kotarou has always been, well...
B：Danzo:
Let's say he can be too humble for his own good at times.
Fujimaru 1:
That's for sure...
Danzo:
That may be how a ninja should conduct herself,
but I can't help but find it lonesome.
Danzo:
I think he has every right to express his desires more openly, like most children.
Danzo:
...Er, though of course, I know he has grown into a fine young man.
Danzo:
Perhaps my tendency to treat him like a child at times is a sign that there is something defective with me...
Fujimaru 1:
Nah. I'd say you're working perfectly.
B：Danzo:
...Thank you, Master.
B：Danzo:
Even if it's only for the moment...
B：Danzo:
...I hope he can forget about the pressures that come with being the head of the Fuuma clan...
B：Danzo:
...and just enjoy his summer vacation...
C：Fuuma Kotarou:
...
...
C：Fuuma Kotarou:
All right, Master, as you requested,
I'll continue to wear this outfit for a while.
Fujimaru 1:
Great! Now let's go seize the summer!
C：Fuuma Kotarou:
Yes, Master!
C：Fuuma Kotarou:
As the fifth head of the Fuuma clan, I, Fuuma Kotarou...
C：Fuuma Kotarou:
...vow to truly put my heart and soul into enjoying this summer vacation!