Shirou Route
Shinji: Welcome to stage 01, also known as the tutorial!
Shirou: I see. That’s nice of you!
Shinji: I’m Matou Shinji-sama, who originally was planned to be the boss character “General Shinji” but for various reasons was demoted to the tutorial punching bag!
Shirou: I see. What a pity!
Shinji: I was hoping they’d establish that when I was in elementary school I was purehearted and still a relatively good boy, but they didn’t! Here we go!!
Shirou: I see. Sorry, I guess!
Sakura: I finally found you. I’ll get revenge for Nii-san…
Shirou: Okay. Who’s he?
Sakura: Um, you see… He’s got a lot of pride but gives off this really strong feeling of unimportance… His hair is gross like wakame…
Shirou: Ah, you mean Shinji from the tutorial!
Sakura: …….(What a wonderful person…) Okay, I got it. If I lose, I’ll become your bride, okay.
Shirou: I see, Shinji must have it tough!
Kayneth: Kukuku… Move aside, commoner boy. I’ll be taking all the rare Capsaba!
Shirou: I see, you must be really childish to cut in line!
Kayneth: Hmph. When it comes to survival there are no adults or children or young ladies!
Kayneth: Just how much do you think I’ve invested in this? Capsaba is already my life!
Shirou: Yep, then your life will be over when you run out of money!
Kayneth: T-that’s quite wise… Then I must recognize you as a formidable opponent.
Kayneth: Behold this Capsaba Meister’s artfully constructed deck!
Shirou: I see, so you’re the type who doesn’t learn until he gets hurt!
Ayaka: ……… (stare)
Shirou: Okay, are you my next opponent, lady?
Ayaka: Mph! What? You’re saying I’m an easy target because I look weak and wear glasses, aren’t you?!
Shirou: No, then should we stop?
Ayaka: You mean you’re ignoring me?! So you don’t like glasses, do you!
Ayaka: I’m right, aren’t I?! What’s wrong with glasses?!
Shirou: Yeah, you’re the bothersome type!
Waver: No way… A kid like this is a Capsaba Master?
Shirou: Yeah, that’s right!
Waver: We met by chance… then this is destiny…! In that case, I can’t run away! Isn’t that right, Rider!
Shirou: I see, then there’s no choice but to fight!
Waver: No, wait. I need to emotionally prepare… U-ummmm… R-Rider!
Waver: Let’s win no matter what…
Waver: Let’s take the grail!
Waver: Let’s take the world too!
Waver: Failure is not an option…!
Waver: All right, I’m gonna do it!
Shirou: Live more carefreely, mister!
Hakuno: ……. (doooon)
Shirou: …This lady…
Hakuno: …….
Shirou: …….
Hakuno: ……. (smirk)
Shirou: …She’s pretty good!
Luvia: Oooooohohoho, I am Luviagelita Edelfelt!
Luvia: I’m a girl genius who will one day become queen of not only the Capsaba world, but also the wrestling ring!
Shirou: I see. You should start small!
Luvia: Hmph, what accurate advice for a first meeting… State your name.
Luvia: You seem to show promise, so I may consider hiring you as an apprentice butler.
Shirou: I see. I already know what I want to be, so no thanks!
Luvia: My, you have a good sense of purpose as well! Excellent!
Luvia: I’ll present you the special opportunity to become my manager! Only if you win against me, that is!
Shirou: I see. I won’t be your manager, but I’ll give it a shot!
Kirei: Lost lamb… What business do you have at my church?
Shirou: I see, you’re hiding something, huh mister!
Kirei: Hmm, it seems you are quite perceptive in this world.
Kirei: A result of Emiya Kiritsugu’s training, perhaps?
Shirou: Hm? You know Dad?
Kirei: Yes… But that is not important. If I’m “hiding” something, what do you plan to do?
Kirei: Emiya… Shirou-kun?
Shirou: Yeah, I’m gonna beat you up!
Tokiomi: I am Fuyuki’s Second Owner, the Capsaba uncle, Tohsaka Tokiomi.
Tokiomi: An elegant dandy who is retrieving the Capsule Servants, which are too powerful for children to have.
Tokiomi: I think you can understand what this means. Well?
Shirou: I don’t understand at all! Huh? Tohsaka? Are you with Rin?!
Tokiomi: Oh, are you Rin’s friend? In that case, please get along with her.
Tokiomi: You wouldn’t think it to look at her, but can be careless. I fear she may fall in love with some boy of doubtful origin someday.
Tokiomi: Oh, hahaha, how rude of me. It seems I’m being too much of a doting parent!
Shirou: I see, Rin must have it tough!
Tokiomi: In any case, your reckless fighting ends here.
Tokiomi: If I win, I will have you hand over your Serv…
Shirou: What’s wrong?
Tokiomi: Nice joke. It seems I’ve left my Capsaba at home. Would you mind waiting a minute?
Shirou: I see, like father like daughter!
Master Artoria: Are you to be my next opponent, then?
Master Artoria: I am Artoria, a Master fighting the Holy Grail War.
Shirou: I see. You’re manly!
Master Artoria: Wha–?! …I did not choose this style of speech!
Master Artoria: It is because of the men of my family that I became this way!
Shirou: I see. What a pity!
Master Artoria: What a disgrace to be pitied by a child…
Master Artoria: Regardless, if you wish to pass through here, you must first defeat me!
Shirou: Okay, here we go!
Narration: Professor Tokiomi, captured by the evil Dimensional Empire MATO plotting to control all parallel worlds, was forced to perform terrible research!
Narration: With the aim of a cross-dimensional assault, he constructed a not-very-original type of weapon…
Narration: That is, a giant humanoid weapon using the Great Grail as a power source!
ULTIMATE WEAPON S NUMBER ONE
Professor Tokiomi: That being the case, listen well, Shirou-kun.
Professor Tokiomi: I managed to escape their base, but I can’t go on anymore.
Professor Tokiomi: But without their notice I was somehow able to complete the massive humanoid weapon SAKURA.
Professor Tokiomi: Please accept my dying request and fight the Dimensional Empire MATO!
Shirou: What are you doing, Rin’s dad?
Professor Tokiomi: Indeed, I honestly wanted my daughter Rin to fight, but she refused me point-blank a minute ago, you see…
Professor Tokiomi: This must be what they call the rebellious age… Lately she’s been saying harsh things like how my beard looks like it belong on Paris Fashion Week or how I stink of musk…
Shirou: I see, being too much of a dandy can be a problem too!
Professor Tokiomi: Anyway, the only one left for me to turn to is you, who just happened to show up!
Professor Tokiomi: Will you accept? If you like, I don’t mind offering you Rin’s hand in marriage!
Shirou: I see, you should treat your kids with more care!
General Shinji: Found you, Professor Tokiomi, you traitor! Now, will you come quietly?!
Professor Tokiomi: Damn you, General Shinji, one of the top brass of the MATO empire! I won’t let you people do as you like!
Professor Tokiomi: Now, Shirou-kun! Activate SAKURA immediately!
Shirou: I got it, but how do I pilot this?
Professor Tokiomi: Fear not! The truth is, Capsule Servants…
Professor Tokiomi: …were spread throughout the world by me as practice tools to find someone qualified to pilot SAKURA.
Professor Tokiomi: If you’ve already made it this far, then you should be able to control SAKURA just as you control the Capsule Servants…!
Shirou: I see, now that you mention it, this story was about Capsule Servants!
Shinji: Wha–?! You were already complete, SAKURA?! Wait, uwa?!
Shinji: (squish)
Shirou & Professor Tokiomi: Ah.
G-SAKURA: …So, what is this? Why did I wake up in the morning looking like this?!
Professor Tokiomi: Well, er, I was being menaced by MATO and had no choice, you see…
G-SAKURA: …Is that so. …Then, isn’t there anything else you’ve forgotten to say?
G-SAKURA: E x – F a t h e r ?
Professor Tokiomi: ……….
G-SAKURA: ……….
Professor Tokiomi: Shirou-kun…
Shirou: What?
Professor Tokiomi: Help me!
Shirou: Okay, I won, but sorry, I guess!
G-SAKURA: Waaaah! This is a terrible thing to do to your own daughteeer!
G-SAKURA: With my body like this I can never become a briiiide! (glance)
G-SAKURA: Isn’t there anyone who will take meeee?! (glance)
Shirou: Okay, she’s glancing at me for some reason, but what do I do?
Professor Tokiomi: …So that was it. The requirement to pilot SAKURA was mutual trust…
Professor Tokiomi: Yes… the power of your bond, Shirou-kun.
Shirou: Yeah, if her dad’s like this, I guess I feel kind of sorry for SAKURA!
Professor Tokiomi: Mph! My Tohsaka Elegant Radar is detecting enemies!
Commander-in-chief Euryale: Huhuhu, don’t get carried away just because you defeated General Shinji!
Commander-in-chief Euryale: He was just an extra who wasn’t particularly one of us!
High Priestess Stheno: We, the Gorgon Sisters, will put an end to you personally!
Commander-in-chief Euryale: Go! Originally big but now even more giant, anti-SAKURA giant humanoid weapon MEDO-SA!
Medo-sa: …Ah, yes, hi there, I’m the giant humanoid weapon… was that it? …Medo-sa.
G-SAKURA: …We both have trouble with family, don’t we, Rider.
Narration: In the near future, mankind’s battle against the MATO empire plotting to rule the dimension begins!
Narration: In the midst of that battle is the boy who controls the world’s strongest humanoid weapon, SAKURA!
Narration: His name is Emiya Shirou!
Shirou: Destroy, Gigantic SAKURA!
G-SAKURA: Eh?! I’m still like this?!
The End
Sella: Milady, we’ve arrived.
???: …Huhu. Yes, then it’s time to teach these Eastern bumpkins the true meaning of a Capsule Servant battle…
???: Or Capsabattle for short.
Liz: Illya, when you get off a plane, you have to wear a happi, a happi.
Celebloomers: I’m nooooooooot Illya! Didn’t we decide that my magnificent codename was the mysterious Capsaba champion Celebloomers?!
Celebloomers: No, more importantly, what’s a happi? Sounds kinda fun? Liz, aren’t you a bit too knowledgeable about Japan?
Sella: Milady, the preparations have been made for your press conference, so come this way.
Celebloomers: …Oh, right, right, let’s do it like this.
Celebloomers: Ehhh, ahem.
Celebloomers: Ohhh, it’s so haaard being the champion, you have to do press conferences day in and day out with no rest.
The Beautiful, Dignified, Noble and All-Around Amazing Challenger
Celebloomers: There’s nobody here?!
Sella: T-this wasn’t supposed to…
Sella: Leysritt, you did correctly inform the Japanese government about Milady’s arival, didn’t you?!
Liz: Mm-hmm, I phoned before we left. They said something like “we ain’t no soba restaurant!” though.
Liz: Close enough.
Celebloomers: Right, so you didn’t inform them at all!
Shirou: What are you doing?
Celebloomers: Hm? What’s with this kid?
Celebloomers: (gasp)?!
Celebloomers: Could he be a Japanese fan who heard that I, the current Capsaba Champion, had arrived and forced his way in?!
Celebloomers: Ehhh, this suuure is a problem, I need to run this kind of thing through my manager!
Shirou: Huh, is that so?
Liz: Illya, it looks like this boy doesn’t know anything.
Celebloomers: Wh…at…?!
Shinji: Waaaaaaaaaaaait a minuuuuuuuuuuute!!!
Shirou: Shinji?!
Shinji: M-might you be… the reigning champion of the Capsule Servant Battle – or Capsabattle for short – world championships, the mysterious, beautiful Capser…
Shinji: Celebloomers-san?!
Celebloomers: Eh?!
Celebloomers: Ah, right, that’s right! I’m the reigning Capsabattle champion and the mysterious beautiful Capser…
Celebloomers: Celebloomers-san!!!
Shirou: Is that true, Shinji?!
Shinji: Yeah!
Shinji: Celebloomers-san is the Capsaba champ who uses the orthodox financial-power style, famous for annihilating her opponents with a deck put together by using money!
Shinji: Hey, you’re not bowing deeply enough, Emiya!
Shirou: I see, so it all comes down to money!
Celebloomers: No, um, you see, by use of clever tactics and technique…
Shinji: In the end, Capsule Servant is all about how many strong rare Servants you can collect!
Shinji: Normally, everyone reads the mood to keep the game fun, but…
Shinji: Celebloomers-san can’t, so she spent a ton of money loading her deck with rare Servants!
Shinji: To the extent that even I, the son of the noble Matou family, can’t help but be turned off by it, phew!
Shirou: I see, phew!
Celebloomers: Very well, now die!
Celebloomers: H-how could I lose…?
Celebloomers: A-are you telling me I still haven’t spent enough money?!
Shirou: Yeah, I think there’s something more important than money.
Shinji: Yes, Capsaba is a battle of bonds.
Shinji: What’s important is whether you and your Servants communicate with your hearts!
Celebloomers: Liz, clean up this wakame.
Liz: Okay, then come this way.
Shinji: Young Capsers, let us meet again! Phew!
Sella: Milady, please do not be discouraged. However, I would be most grateful if you would take this as an opportunity to grow out of this worthless game.
Celebloomers: No no no no!
Celebloomers: I’m the champ!
Celebloomers: I collected a lot of rare Servants, so I’m the strongest!!!
???: Haaahahahaha! How unsightly, Capsabattle world champion Celebloomers!
Celebloomers: Wha–?! This voice…?!
Gilgamesh: Celebloomers – if that was your name – you have made no mistake!
Gilgamesh: The foundation of the game of Capsaba is amassing property.
Gilgamesh: Witness the power of true excessive spending, to which the likes of you cannot compare!
Celebloomers: Aaaaah?! Is that Servant–?!
Gilgamesh: Wahahahaha, terrifying, is it not? I spent the entirety of my treasury on collecting many super-rare Servants!
Gilgamesh: Among them is even this Galactica Saber, a super-rare Servant specially drawn by Takeuchi Takashi! I hug it while I sleep every night!
Celebloomers: H-how could it be… How could I, the world champ Celebloomers, lose at spending…
Celebloomers: S-Shirou-kun, you defeated me, so I entrust the rest to you…
Celebloomers: Please, please obtain the legendary ultra-rare Servant that even I could not get…
Celebloomers: “Galactica Saber FE (Final Edition)”
Celebloomers: Please… Guh…
Sella: Milady?!
Liz: By collecting all the Saber editions from limited-time Servant draws…
Liz: …there’s apparently a rare chance of drawing Galactica Saber FE, Shirou.
Shirou: All right! I’m retiring from Capsaba!
The End
The Mysterious Heroic Spirit, FRAGA Appears
???: Oh. You there, please wait a minute.
Shirou: Hm? Do you need something, mister?
???: Who are you calling mister? No matter how you look at it, I’m a miss!
???: …Ah, no, it’s nothing.
???: …If I’m yelling at child like this I really need to have more self-discipline…
???: Er, I was dispatched by the Heroic Spirit Association in order to save the world from crisis. I am the temp Heroic Spirit Baze… I mean, FRAGA.
Shirou: I see. I won’t ask what the Heroic Spirit Association is!
FRAGA: Thank you for being so understanding. The Capsule Servants, which out of all the parallel worlds only exist in this one…
FRAGA: This social power created through the use of the grail…
FRAGA: They are too dangerous for children to have, in the allowance-related sense.
FRAGA: I won’t say anything mean, so please hand all those Servants over to me.
Shirou: I see. By the way, mister, you’re dressed pretty normal for a Heroic Spirit.
FRAGA: Eh? Is there something strange about it?
Shirou: Y’see, Heroic Spirits have cool outfits and Noble Phantasms and stuff. I saw it on TV, they shoot beams out of swords and stuff like that.
FRAGA: Eh? Cool outfits?
FRAGA: No, but this suit is order-made and, look, the fabric, the fabric is very nice!
FRAGA: And as for the Noble Phantasm, um, s-see these fists?!
Shirou: By the way, how did you become a Heroic Spirit?
FRAGA: Eh? How, well…
FRAGA: 5000 push-ups a day, 5000 sit-ups, and 100km of running.
FRAGA: I kept up that daily routine and kept taking on work and eventually found myself like this…
Shirou: I see. Were you satisfied with that life?
FRAGA: Eh? W-what’s with this boy?
FRAGA: W-well, you could say I didn’t really have anything better to do, or something like that.
Shirou: By the way, what does “temp” mean if you’re a Heroic Spirit?
FRAGA: Urk…
FRAGA: Well, of course I would have preferred regular employment…
FRAGA: Lately there’ve been too many new Heroic Spirits, and I was pretty tied up after graduation…
Shirou: I see, so you wasted your precious new-graduate period!
FRAGA: But I tried hard at job hunting too! I even got an interview in the end.
FRAGA: I got a letter that said, “We don’t have any openings at the moment, but we may contact you at a further opportunity.”
FRAGA: “Would it be okay to contact you at that time?”
FRAGA: So I thought I’d work as a temp while I wait for them to contact me…
Shirou: I see. I hate to tell you this, but that was a rejection letter!
FRAGA: What did you just say?! No wonder they didn’t contact me!
FRAGA: What on earth?! If they wanted to reject me, why couldn’t they just clearly say they were rejecting me?!
Shirou: Yeah, I wonder why. That’s society for you, I guess!
FRAGA: Guh! A-anyway, I have to work now if I want to eat!
FRAGA: If I think about the future my Sunday afternoons will be painful, so for now I’ll immerse myself in battle!
FRAGA: So, to go back to what I was saying earlier, prepare yourself!
Shirou: Yeah, I guess some things are just hopeless!
FRAGA: I… I lost…
FRAGA: I wonder if my work-related injury insurance will cover this… Ah, I was a temp worker.
FRAGA: Ooh… I’m so envious of how easy the regularly employed Heroic Spirits have it…
Shirou: Yeah, I don’t know what to say!
FRAGA: I’m not working as a temp Heroic Spirit because I want to.
FRAGA: But even if I turned things around and appeared as a regular Servant…
FRAGA: …a temp Heroic Spirit would never be accepted over an official Heroic Spirit…
Shirou: Hmmm, then how do you become an official Heroic Spirit?
FRAGA: Well, by participating in the Holy Grail War and getting good results, for example…
FRAGA: That is, you just need good achievements!
FRAGA: …But a temp Heroic Spirit wouldn’t get that chance to begin with.
FRAGA: Aah! Who made the Holy Grail War like this?!
Shirou: I see, then if I ever participate in the Holy Grail War, I’ll contract with you, mister!
FRAGA: Like I said, I’m not a mister…
FRAGA: What?! Really?! You’re not lying, right?!
FRAGA: It’s not something like, “Would it be okay to contact you when the Holy Grail War takes place?”
FRAGA: Right?!
Shirou: Yeah, so if I participate I’ll contact you, so give me your contact info!
FRAGA: All right, then I’ll give you this earring!
FRAGA: You need a relic to summon a Servant!
FRAGA: Wah, I’m just like an official Heroic Spirit now, hooraaaay!
Shirou: I see, I don’t know if I participate or not, but wait patiently, ok!
FRAGA: Yes!
FRAGA: Well then, thank you for everything! I’m returning to the Throne of Heroes (for temp use) to wait, so thank you in advance!
Shirou: Yeah, then see you later!
Narration: ~7 years later~
FRAGA: Official Heroic Spirits? You act all high-and-mighty at the workplace, but this is all you’ve got! Ability is everything in the field!
Shirou: Ahh, yeah, Baze… I mean, Boxer, that’s enough.
FRAGA: Well then, shall we go smash Berserker next?!
FRAGA: Please leave everything to Boxer, the Heroic Spirit of the fist, Master!
FRAGA: Huhuhu… With these results, I have a real shot at being hired as an offical Heroic Spirit!
Shirou: Yep, the Holy Grail War sure is hell!
The End
See The World By Jeanne
Jeanne: About 9700km from Domremy, France, I saw a quiet town from the window of a car.
Jeanne: Fuyuki, the town known as the location of the original Holy Grail War.
Jeanne: Most of the people living here have been affected by the Holy Grail War, be it in a major or minor way.
Jeanne: The large temple visible in the mountains is Ryuudou temple, which contains a large natural cave.
Jeanne: The Great Grail with Justeaze as its base is installed there, making it the place where the first and last grails of the Holy Grail War were summoned.
Jeanne: Well, people have still been having Grail Wars all over the place after that, though.
Jeanne: So I, the maiden of Orleans, Jeanne d’Arc…
Jeanne: …am using the Heroic Spirit vacation time that I recieve for completing my work as Ruler to come here to Fuyuki on holiday.
Shirou: ?
Jeanne: Of course, as France’s biggest celebrity, I haven’t forgotten to disguise myself to hide my identity.
Jeanne: It wouldn’t do to see “Shocker! Saint Descends In Far-East Land!” as the headline on tomorrow’s morning newspaper, after all.
Jeanne: Despite appearances, I’m the worldwide super-famous Heroic Spirit Jeanne d’Arc, you know?
Jeanne: It’s so haaard. It’s so haaard to hide my identity even when I’m on vacation.
Jeanne: It’s so haaard to have to hide my name for a different reason than Servants.
Shirou: ?
Jeanne: Oh, this boy… (gasp)?! Could he be…
Jeanne: …a young soldier who was affected by my holy aura, couldn’t contain himself, and rushed to serve under my banner?!
Shirou: ?
Jeanne: Oh well, there’s not much I can do about it, I am a worldwide super famous Heroic Spirit after all.
Jeanne: Anyone who saw the maiden of Orleans walking wearily along the road would pledge to rush through a fleeting yet intense life like a flame in service to her sacred banner, wouldn’t they?
Shirou: Ah! I remember! I’ve seen you on TV!
Jeanne: Right?! Of course you would.
Jeanne: It’s so haaard, it’s so haaard having my uncontainable super famous Heroic Spirit aura (divinity) seep out even if I try to hide it.
Jeanne: But I’m in the Ruler position, so I can’t participate directly.
Jeanne: Even if you said “if I’m gonna summon anyone it’s gotta be the maiden of Orleans, it’s just common sense!”…
Jeanne: …and wanted to summon me, it seems that’s impossible as far as the system goes, so please give up, okay… um… little boy from this country?
Shirou: You’re King Arthur, right?! King Arthur! They showed you on that anime on TV! You’re actually a girl, right, I know I know!
Jeanne: Damn you, England!
Jeanne: How can this be…?
Jeanne: To think I was actually not such a famous Heroic Spirit in the East…
Jeanne: What were you doing, Xavier?
Shirou: Sorry, seems I mistook you for someone else!
Jeanne: I don’t think I can be that easily mistaken for King Arthur though… My chest, for example…
Jeanne: No, but still, I’m Jeanne d’Arc, you know?! From the Hundred-Year War?!
Jeanne: When you think “hero of France”, you think me, right?!
Shirou: Sorry. But I do know of Napoleon!
Jeanne: Even that little man?!
Jeanne: Grrr…
Jeanne: Here! Please look at this flag, it’s an amazing Noble Phantasm!
Jeanne: One wave of this even made Gilles so full of spirit he went France BASARA on the enemy camp and it was a huge mess!
Shirou: Sorry, it’s kinda plain. A sword that shoots beams is easier to understand!
Jeanne: Waaaaah! Fine!
Jeanne: Stupid, stupid! Pink hair! I’m never coming back to this countryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Shirou: Sorry, pretty foreign ladyyyyyyy! I don’t really get it, but sorryyyyyyyy!
Narration: ~7 years later~
Shirou:
Lancer:
Jeanne: I will ask you. Might you be my Master?
Shirou:
Jeanne: Or whatever. I can’t stand out if I don’t participate!
Jeanne: Being Ruler feels more like a punishment. I wanted to try competing for the grail too sometime!
Jeanne: Oh, my Noble Phantasm? Don’t worry, I brought a really flashy one.
Jeanne: Look at this one-time-use Crimson– Ah, this was a self-destruction Noble Phantasm! (tee-hee)
Shirou: Wait wait wait.
Jeanne: It might finally be coming! The Jeaaaaaaaaanne boom!
Jeanne: There’ll be a Red Jeanne and a Sakura Jeanne, gosh, guess there’s no helping it since I’m such a popular character!
Jeanne: It’s so haaard, it’s so haaard being popular, I’m tired of all these Jeanne clones…
Jeanne: …Do you think I might be well on my way to becoming a star cash-cow like that?!
Shirou & Lancer: Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait.
The End
Reunion
TO-SAKA: Welcome, vaguely familiar-looking bad boy!
TO-SAKA: I am an envoy from the parallel universe where Heroic Spirit EMIYA was not created…
TO-SAKA: The ultimate, final possibility for a certain perfect young girl…
TO-SAKA: Heroic Spirit TO-SAKA!
Shirou: I see, so you’ve reached the end of the line!
TO-SAKA: Yes, I’m the wandering witch, journeying through the dimensions to destroy every grail…
TO-SAKA: Magical Witch TO-SAKA!
Shirou: I see, please be clear about whether you’re a Heroic Spirit or not!
TO-SAKA: …On that day, stricken with grief, I was forced to make a most terrible decision.
TO-SAKA: …Yes, I formed a contract with the world.
Shirou: I see, you had it hard!
TO-SAKA: Yes, I had to make the contract.
TO-SAKA: …To repay my excessively large loan!
Shirou: I see, just as I expected, you brought it on yourself!
TO-SAKA: Anyway, the world said…
TO-SAKA: “Hmmm, they’re having too many Grail Wars over there, we don’t lend out Heroic Sprits for free, you know…”
TO-SAKA: “So since you’re new, TO-SAKA-san, we thought we’d have you destroy the grails in a few worlds so there’ll be fewer Grail Wars…”
TO-SAKA: “Yep, for each grail you destroy that’s 3% of your loan paid off, so thanks in advance!”
TO-SAKA: So I’m busy destroying grails every day!
Shirou: Time flies when you’re hard at work, huh?
TO-SAKA: So I’ll be destroying this world’s grail too!
TO-SAKA: The after-effects may blow this town off the map, but it’s to repay my loan, so oh well! Wow!
Shirou: I see. This is too much in a lot of ways and I can’t stand to look, so I’m gonna stop you!
TO-SAKA: As I expected… I remember now.
TO-SAKA: You are… yes, you’re Shirou, aren’t you…
Shirou: I don’t get it, but hang in there, Heroic Spirit TO-SAKA!
TO-SAKA: Huhu, that tendency to be nice to everyone hasn’t changed.
TO-SAKA: …No, I’m the one who changed.
TO-SAKA: Even if it’s to repay my debts, to think I’d contract with the world and be reduced to a destructive witch…
Shirou: I think I’ve heard this story somewhere before, but anyway, let’s end this, TO-SAKA!
TO-SAKA: …Yes, that’s right. I need to put an end to it.
TO-SAKA: …Thank you, Shirou. I remembered… my true self… (slump)
Shirou: TO-SAKAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
TO-SAKA: …That’s right.
TO-SAKA: Now that I think about it, even if it was to pay back a loan I could never afford on my own, contracting with the world just isn’t like me at all!
TO-SAKA: If you can’t pay it back, then just don’t!
TO-SAKA: Be it the bank, or the world!
Shirou: Yeah, that’s the TO-SAKA I know, even though we just met today!
TO-SAKA: Right! It’s better to take over the world and loan out Heroic Spirits for the Holy Grail War for a fee!
TO-SAKA: I could call it a Heroic Spirit temporary employment agency. Ranging from rank E to A, depending on the client’s budget!
TO-SAKA: Your reliable partner in the Holy Grail War, TO-SAKA Heroic Sprit Service, awaits your patronage!
Shirou: Yeah, doing whatever you want feels TO-SAKA-like, so that’s fine!
Shirou: Well, I’m going home, so do your best!
TO-SAKA: Well then, first things first, let’s go beat the world senseless!
TO-SAKA: Here we go, Shirou!
Shirou: Ah, I gotta go too?
Shirou: Okay, I thought so, so whatever.
TO-SAKA: As I’d expect from Shirou, even as a child that part of you hasn’t changed!
TO-SAKA: All right, time to start my venture! I’m going to embrace my ambition!
TO-SAKA: Welcome, customer! At the TO-SAKA Heroic Spirit Service, we offer a wide range of Heroic Spirits to suit your budget, from questionable E-class Heroic Spirits…
TO-SAKA: …to the completely story-breaking EX-class Heroic Spirit Gilgamesh!
TO-SAKA: When the start of the Holy Grail War rolls around, be sure to call the TO-SAKA Heroic Spirit Service, that’s the TO-SAKA Heroic Spirit Service!
Shirou: We look forward to your business!
TO-SAKA: Mmmmhmmm…!
TO-SAKA: I’m simply overflowing!
TO-SAKA: Being alive is wonderful! Money really is the lubricant of life!
Shirou: Okay, better not tell her how slimy she is!