FSN Fate Day 07 (EN)
Scene 00 - Superhero and the usual breakfast.
――If I can, I'd prefer nobody to be sad.
If I can make people around me happy just by helping them myself, I think that would make the world a pleasant place to live in.
That was Kiritsugu's favorite phrase.
The man who was a superhero to me was saying that he thought he was a failure.
He didn't even need to explain it to me.
The world of the young me was so different from the world of the adult Kiritsugu that the passing grade to be a superhero was different.
For me as a child, the house was my only world.
So it was enough for me if I could keep protecting my father, Fuji-Nee, myself, and the shed that I loved.
I only tried to protect the ones I could see.
But maybe Kiritsugu wanted to do something about even the ones he couldn't see.
――I was reckless when I was young.
I educated myself by cursing the heartlessness of the world.
The world was cruel――so I made myself even more heartless and used that as a weapon, trying to follow through on my ideals.
There will always be some that cannot be saved.
It is impossible to save everyone.
If I have to lose five hundred to earn one thousand,
I will abandon one hundred and save the lives of nine hundred.
That is the most efficient method.
That is the ideal――Kiritsugu once said that.
Of course, I got mad.
I really got mad.
Because I knew that without being told.
Because I myself was saved like that.
I don't even need to be told something as obvious as that.
But still――I believed that someone would be a superhero if they saved everyone even though they think like that.
It may be an idealistic thought or an impossible pipe dream, but a superhero is someone who tries to save everyone in spite of that.
――You're right, Shirou.
The result is the most important thing. But with that aside, your heart trying to do so is―――
――Oh yeah, Kiritsugu said something about the heart.
...I can't remember too well.
After all, it's rare for me to remember something from such a long time ago.
I must be in a deep sleep.
That must be true, as it's rare for me to dream at all.
―――Shirou, please wake up. It is almost time for breakfast.
See.
As proof, I am in the shameful situation of Saber having to wake me up――
"―――What?"
I raise myself from the futon.
It's six thirty. Bright sunlight shines in from outside.
"It is morning, Shirou. Are you not going to be preparing breakfast?"
In front of me is Saber's discontented face.
"――I slept in. I'll get up right away."
"...I do not think there is any need to apologize to me, but it is true that you do not have time to take it easy. It seems Sakura and Rin were arguing earlier."
"Sakura and Tohsaka arguing...?"
What's that about?
Hold on, don't get me cornered into an incomprehensible situation right when I get up.
"Is that in Tohsaka's room?"
"No, it is in the living room. I only passed by, so I do not know the details."
"All right. I'll hurry."
―――Oh.
I have something I need to do before that.
"...? What is it Shirou?"
"Good morning, Saber. Thanks for waking me up."
I greet her, then I really make my way to the hallway.
...But arguing with Sakura, what's Tohsaka doing!?
"Tohsaka!"
I run into the living room.
...There.
There's no sign of Sakura in the living room, and Tohsaka is watching the weather forecast by herself.
"Morning. You seem agitated, calling my name first thing in the morning."
She turns around as if asking me what's going on.
"...?"
That's weird. It doesn't seem like she's been arguing with Sakura....
"Yeah, morning. ...Hey, Tohsaka. I heard you were arguing with Sakura, is that true?"
"Huh? ...I see, you must have heard it from Saber.
Yes, you could say that looking at it objectively, but it wasn't really anything. I just told her not to come here for a while."
"――!"
Is that something you can say easily!?
She means she made Sakura stop coming here, right!?
"That's ridiculous. Sakura refused before already. There's no way Sakura would agree, even if you asked her again――"
"It might not be possible, but she went home once I offered her terms. I said I'd go back home if she doesn't come here for a week. That established a negotiation between us. She reluctantly went home. Oh yeah, she gave her best regards to you."
"Best regards... you――"
She did something so selfish without telling me――
"―――――"
...No, I'm wrong.
Tohsaka was just doing something I should have done already.
"――I see. I'm sorry that I made you do something so troubling this early in the morning. You must be feeling bad, Tohsaka."
"...? No, it wasn't hard nor unpleasant. Why do you say that?"
"Well, you were friends with Sakura. So you probably didn't want to tell Sakura head on to get out of here.
That's why I'm apologizing. I should've been firm, but I caused you trouble again."
"――T-That's fine. I just drove out Sakura for my own safety. There's no reason for you to apologize to me."
"...? Your safety?"
"Shinji is a Master, right?
Knowing him, he would be angry at you if he found out Sakura was at your house. So it's best not to have Sakura here until we settle things with Shinji."
"Oh―――"
...I see.
She's right now that she mentions it.
I don't think Shinji was lying when he said he wouldn't tell Sakura anything.
But having his sister Sakura here might give him the wrong idea.
"...Right. It looks like we were holding Sakura hostage against Shinji."
"Exactly. And that aside, it's true that this place is dangerous.
We can't let her walk around at night, so it's best to have her stay calm for a while. It's for Sakura's sake and our sake."
"...Yeah, you're right. I feel sorry for Sakura, but I'll apologize later and have her forgive me."
But I won't be able to tell her why even when that time comes.
"―――――Man."
It's really getting to me.
It's depressing that I've rejected Sakura, who comes to help me all the time, like this.
"Oh, you're so dispirited. What happened to the power that made you scream at me? Is Emiya-kun so lonely without Sakura?"
Tohsaka makes an evil face.
...Crap. I knew she would make fun of me if I showed weakness, and now I've done it.
"...Leave me alone. Anyways, Sakura was a symbol of peace at my house. She supplied something that was missing with just Fuji-Nee and me. But I sent her away for my convenience, so yes, it's depressing."
"Oh, you do understand. You pass if you can say that. It seems you're getting more determined to win."
"...? W-What are you trying to say, Tohsaka?"
"Don't you get it? I'm saying that Sakura will return once the fight is over.
You say you don't need the Holy Grail, but you could fight to keep the peace you have now. See, it's good to have a clear goal."
Tohsaka says so with a big smile.
"―――――"
If she puts it like that, I can only agree.
...Geez, how should I say this?
Once again, I realize that this person is both infinitely ill-natured and really great.
"Whaaat? Then Sakura-chan won't be coming here for a while?"
"Yeah, so why don't you go back home and give your parents a treat? Your father was complaining that his daughter didn't care about him."
"I can leave my dad alone. He won't die even if I'm not there.
And I have to be firm if Sakura-chan isn't here. You're a boy, so if something happens, you'll get a disciplinary dismissal. Can you take responsibility in that case?"
"That won――"
Unfortunately, man's nature does not let me declare that it "won't happen".
"...Emiya-kun? What was that pause?"
She glares.
Tohsaka's stare is painful.
"―――I don't think that's going to happen. This isn't a normal stay.
I know that."
"I see. Good, Emiya-kun is indeed trustworthy, Sensei."
"Of course. Shirou is so calm that it makes me think I've gone too far with my tastes."
Tohsaka smiles while Fuji-Nee puffs with pride.
"......"
Saber silently watches them while eating.
...This is only the second day, but I don't think I'll ever get used to this atmosphere.
"Oh yeah, Shirou. It's about the archery club, but did you know that Mitsuzuri-san got injured?"
"Mitsuzuri? What? Did she get in a fight with someone again? Geez, she's almost a third year, so she should calm down a little.
...So, how's the injury? Is it bad?"
"It's fine. It was a light sprain. It seems she was attacked by a molester on her way home.
She's fast, right? She ran away quickly, but injured herself when she fell over at the end."
"...I see. Thank God it was nothing serious. But a molester attacking her... he must be reckless or have discerning tastes.
Either way, he was a stupid molester. I thought..."
"You thought she knocked him out instead of running away, right?"
Fuji-Nee smiles.
Indeed, she knows Mitsuzuri Ayako well.
"Yeah. It's rare for her to run away.
But... I see, even Mitsuzuri is weak against molesters. I guess that's good. It's impossible to teach her femininity unless something like this happens."
Approving, I eat the well-cooked rice.
"Hey, Emiya-kun."
Then.
Tohsaka Rin pats my shoulder with a smile.
"Should I tell you something interesting too?"
"...? What? There isn't much that's more interesting than what I just heard."
"Yeah. I haven't mentioned it, but Ayako and I are good friends. Did you know we're friends who hang out together on weekends?"
―――Hold on.
Why... are she... and Ayako... good friends?
"――Huh?"
"Don't worry, I will tell her the exact words of this conversation. If I tell her you're happy, I bet she'll be so happy that she'll break about ten roof tiles."
"――I would like to correct myself. I just used the wrong words. It's not something to tell other people about, so it would really help me out if you kept quiet about it."
"Is that so? I can keep it a secret, but it might be hard unless there are some conditions on that. You see, it could just slip out, you know?"
"...Hey now. It's not good to smile when you're saying something modest."
"Oh, I'm sorry. It's not like I'm having fun, so don't misunderstand."
Oh no, I understand.
You really are having fun.
"...I get it. I'll make the breakfasts Western-style from now on.
...I now feel like accepting your request that breakfast should be toast."
"――Good. I'll be happy if you remember to use strawberry jam and not just marmalade."
"...Sigh. What do you think a Japanese morning is? You're a tyrant, changing breakfast to suit your own selfish tastes."
"――No, that is incorrect. I too am happy for breakfast to be bread. It would be perfect if soft-boiled eggs are prepared as well."
...And Saber adds her opinion.
"Fine. All right, I'll make Western-style breakfast, okay? You guys are on a roll just because Sakura makes Western-style food.
I'll start making Western-style breakfasts starting tomorrow, so you guys will have no complaints, right? And that conversation's a secret. Don't tell Mitsuzuri about it."
I look away from the two with a humph and start eating.
...And then.
"Why are you doing something so pointless?"
Fuji-Nee, who has watched our conversation with wonder, murmurs.
"...What? What do you mean pointless, Fuji-Nee?"
"Cause I'll tell Mitsuzuri-san even if Tohsaka-san doesn't. I can't keep quiet about something like that."
Fuji-Nee eats after nodding that it's a problem.
"......"
...No.
I have to come up with some countermeasure real soon or I'll really lose my position....
Breakfast ends and it's now seven-thirty.
It's rare, but Fuji-Nee is still at the house and suggests with a smile that we should go to school together.
"――"
...But I can't do that.
The decision last night.
As long as I said I would fight without relying on Saber, I can't be so easygoing.
If I have to put any extra time into fighting, I don't have time for school.
"Then let's go. Is the house locked up, Shirou?"
"No, that's fine. I'm going to skip school today."
I raise my hand in goodbye and see Tohsaka and Fuji-Nee off.
Fuji-Nee freezes for a few seconds and...
"Hey, what do you mean you're skipping school!?"
"Huh, what?"
It seems Tohsaka said something Fuji-Nee wanted to say.
"T-That's right, Shirou. There's nothing wrong with you to make you skip school, right?"
"No, my wound hurts. Old wounds hurt when the temperature goes down, right? It's kind of like that."
"Hm... That's a lie, right Shirou?"
"It's a lie, but let me go with it. It's not that I don't want to go to school. I have something I have to do, and it's just that it's more important right now. So please let me go."
"...Geez. I lose if you have to put it like that. You're always like this when you can't tell me about things. You were like that as a child."
It seems Fuji-Nee understands, even though she's complaining.
"So that's that. I'll leave the school to you. Is that okay, Tohsaka?"
"...I see. Well, it doesn't matter for me if Emiya-kun comes or not. This isn't a bad choice."
"Yeah, leave the house to me. I'll skip work for a while too, so I won't leave the house much."
"...All right, Then I'll be off, Shirou. You're absent from school because of an injury, so don't leave the house much."
"See you. ...It's fine this time, but ask me about things like this beforehand next time."
Scene 01 - Lectures on magecraft by Tohsaka-Sensei. What a Magic Crest is.
――Dinner ends.
I think it was a normal dinner table for everyone except me.
As for me, I couldn't even sense the taste with the scene in the dressing room flickering in my mind.
"...It's cold."
I opened the window by the porch and I was cooling my head off, but I'm done with that.
I'll catch a cold if I keep doing this.
"Shirou, you were here."
"S-Saber...!? W-What? Is there some business?"
"I believe you have one and not me. I thought you were to learn magecraft from Rin at night."
"Oh."
I hit my head.
"I totally forgot. Thanks, I'll go right away!"
I run into the outbuilding and go to the second floor.
I knock on the door of the guest room that Tohsaka occupies.
"Shirou? It's fine. I don't have my hands free at the moment, so just come on in."
Tohsaka's voice comes back, somehow without composure.
As soon as I enter the room, I see Tohsaka doing something weird.
Tohsaka has something like a jewel in her hand, a syringe in the other hand, and a handkerchief in her mouth.
"Can I ask, Tohsaka?"
"Folf on. I'll fe fone fife fofei's fife fith."
Saying that, Tohsaka puts the needle into her arm.
...She draws blood out of herself.
And taking the blood, she drips it one drop at a time onto the jewel, and grasps the bloody jewel.
Something like dizziness passes by.
I am barely able to tell that it's the light of magical energy, but――
"...Sigh. Only three tenths after this much. I guess I'll have to do with the nine I have."
Tohsaka slumps her shoulders and puts the stone back into some kind of a jewelry box.
"Tohsaka, I'm here for your lesson, as promised."
But first, I'm curious about what she was doing.
"Yeah, I was waiting. You were training your body with Saber during the day, right? Then you should train what's inside during the night."
Tohsaka seems happy as she's more than ready to teach.
...Hmm. Saber said she wasn't any good at teaching, but I bet this one's the complete opposite.
No, putting that aside...
"Well, what should we start with? I think you were saying you can only use the strengthening magecraft―――"
"Actually, could I ask you something before that? I'm curious.
What were you just doing? It's dangerous to use needles on yourself."
"Oh, that? I was just making magecraft bullets. The magics of my family are flow and conversion of power. So when I have enough to spare, I transfer my magical energy somewhere else."
Tohsaka concludes the conversation, leaving me way behind.
"Hold on. What do you mean by magecraft bullet and transferring magical energy?"
"magecraft bullets are magecraft bullets. It's a bullet filled with magical energy.
Haven't you ever heard that people's thoughts tend to go into jewels? In practice, jewels are easy targets to transfer magical energy into, but it seems my family is even more compatible with it than most."
"Transferring magical energy... well, for example, you have excess strength left over if you do nothing for the whole day, right? I'm storing that excess power in the jewels.
You keep on doing this for days, months, and years, and that turns the jewels themselves into 'magecraft'."
"But then, the jewels have limited capacities and I cannot control magical energy outside me.
The magical energy inside the jewels is just an ignition to instantly activate a large-scale magecraft."
"...? Um, so you're putting your magical energy into the jewels as a backup?"
"Backup...? Hmm, close but not quite. I'm just filling up a single-use disposable backpack."
"So you mean you're temporarily expanding the hard disk... that's amazing. So you should be able to use as much magecraft as you want."
"Hard disk...? I don't know what you're talking about, but it's not that useful. The magical energy I put into the jewel is dyed in that jewel's attribute, so its uses become limited."
"...I see. But I'm surprised. I didn't know you could save up magical energy like that.
Why don't other magi do something so useful?"
Well, saying that, the only other magus I know is Kiritsugu.
"The ability to store magical energy in something outside yourself is unique.
Even your strengthening is putting magical energy into something, right? Normally, whatever you put magical energy into changes in some way and uses up that magical energy. The effect of magecraft is instantaneous and not permanent, right?"
"So my family does it in a way that isn't instantaneous, and we cleverly put magical energy into the jewel so that it's permanent, but... other magi can do the same thing with their bodies.
That's the Magic Crest――the magecraft backup that all magi have."
"Magic Crest... oh, you mean the secret that a parent hands down to their child. I don't understand too well since I don't have one."
"Wait. What did you just say?"
"Huh...? Well, I said I don't have this Magic Crest thing. I think Father had one, but he never gave it to me."
"―――――"
Tohsaka gasps, and then nods to herself.
"No wonder you're an amateur. ...So you're really doing things from the very beginning... yeah, then I guess it can't be helped," she murmurs to herself.
"...Tohsaka. Haven't you realized that I don't have a Magic Crest?"
"No way. I wouldn't have let you go out by yourself if I'd known. Well, it's true that I thought you were unskilled, but if you don't have a Magic Crest, you're not even a magus."
She gives me a complaining look with a "hmph".
But what is it?
Her words have a warmness that sounds like relief, and it sounds as if she's envious that I'm not a magus.
"――Oh well. In that case, I'll explain things to you from the very beginning. Understanding the Magic Crest means understanding magi.
All right, you sit there. It's an important lesson, so listen up."
"Here's fine? ...All right, go ahead."
I look into Tohsaka's eyes with determination.
She must appreciate my seriousness, as she nods in satisfaction.
"Then I'll start off with something simple.
You know that magical energy is what you need to use magecraft, right? You can actually refer to anything that can activate magecraft as 'magical energy'.
There's an infinite variety of magical energy.
There are some that perform magecraft using their force of will, and there are some that that use magecraft by paying a price other than themselves.
You know this much, right?"
"Yeah. You mean the 'magical energy' (large source) and the 'odo' (small source), right? The large source is the magical energy in the world that fills nature. The small source is the magical energy that people can create themselves."
"That's right, well done. Then, let's start with magecraft that uses the large source.
"Okay. Magi that lack an accumulated lineage of magi... like you, Shirou... use something that already has form to make magical energy.
This is a method established as a process in ancient times, using offerings and rituals to make contact with the divine mystery.
"They prepare a price to pay since their powers are not sufficient. This is called the formal craft.
This way, magecraft can be activated even if the caster's magical energy is sparse. This is because the magical energy used comes not from the caster but from somewhere else, so the caster only needs to perform the ritual."
"...But, well, you can't do it if you don't have the knowledge. It's impossible for you right now, and anyway, such a bloody method doesn't suit you."
"...Right. I also don't want to sacrifice a chicken or spend the whole evening praying in a magecraft circle."
"Right?
Then putting that aside, next is the small source. So in other words, magecraft that is cast using the magi's own power.
I don't think I need to explain, but this is the basic use of magecraft for someone like you and me.
Your 'strengthening' is a magecraft that relies on your own Magic Circuit, not on borrowing anyone else's power, right?"
I nod.
It seems the conversation is going into the main point.
"Well, the function that creates magical energy for you――the 'Magic Circuit' is a hereditary constitution that is passed down the ancestral lineage of magi.
The Magic Circuit is trained over many generations, and passed on to the descendants, becoming more powerful.
The child of a magi lineage is already fit to use magecraft just because of that. It's not fair, but it means we're different from the start."
"I know that. I don't care, so you can continue on."
"I don't really care either, but....
Oh well. Anyways, other than this Magic Circuit, there is also a secret magecraft that the family trains over the generations."
"It's kind of like that jewel earlier. Once one masters a magecraft, a magus can 'put their hands on' that magecraft.
Do you know the feeling of 'putting your hands on' a magecraft that is naturally just formulas and has no shape?"
"――I don't know, but I assume it's like it's part of your body if you can put your hands on it."
"Exactly.
The magecraft that goes beyond the level of formulas and becomes part of yourself can be left in a form.
It is a great deed that establishes an unstable magecraft, and at the same time, it is proof that the magus existed."
"And the magus, on the verge of death, hands down this great accomplishment in a crest. Like saying 'I give you this to reach the realms I could not reach, perhaps this crest I will give you might offer some help'.
...Well, the one handing it down and the one receiving both know the crest is of no help, though."
"...? What? It's such a great crest, and yet it's useless?"
"It is useful! If you're a normal magus, it's so useful that that one crest will provide you ease and comfort!
...But, well, it's like inheriting a car. No matter how fast you can travel on the ground, you can never reach the moon."
"...?"
"It doesn't matter, so let's get back to the topic at hand.
I think you already know by now, but this crest is the Magic Crest."
"The head of the family puts the magecraft he devoted his life to into that crest and passes it on, and the descendant completes another magecraft increasing the crest, and passes it on again.
It grows more complex like that, and a deep history is engraved into it. That's the Magic Crest――a chain that the magus cannot free themselves from."
"...So... everything about that family is recorded in the Magic Crest?"
"Oh, that's wrong. The record of the family is naturally left on paper. Only magecraft is in the Magic Crest.
It can cast spells automatically and allow you to use magics that you have not acquired yet.
To put it simply, it's like carving a magecraft circle onto your body."
"...Hm. Then doesn't that mean you can carve the crest on anyone? You can draw a magecraft circle as many times as you want if you know the shape of it."
"That's not the way it works.
The Magic Crest is like a living thing. It's almost like transplanting organs.
There's usually only one of an organ, so you can't give it away to numerous people or make copies of it.
There's no point in dividing the heart into two, right? Even if you separate it, it just stops functioning."
"Oh... hm. I see, you're right. Then you had that crest transplanted into you too?"
"...I guess the term transplant was a bad example. Actually, it's no different from a tattoo.
In my case, it's on my left arm from my shoulder to my hand. But the Magic Crest won't show up unless I use it, so there's no need to hide it unlike the Command Spell."
"...So, well, that's why a family of magi is succeeded by only one descendant.
If the family happens to produce brothers or sisters, it is common for the rest of them to live normally without learning about magecraft. Since you can't give them the Magic Crest, there's not much point even if they succeed as a magus."
"Yeah, Shinji was saying that too. ...I see, so that's why they didn't teach Sakura."
"Yes. ...But the inheritance of the crest itself stopped a few generations ago in the Matou family. So I assume Shinji was only taught knowledge of magecraft.
...Really, that type are the most troubling. They can't feel magecraft, but they still try to use it."
Cursing in a disappointed manner, Tohsaka takes a deep breath.
"Well, I was supposed to teach you magecraft, but the plan's changed. I'll have to come up with a different plan if you don't have a Magic Crest.
...Yeah, let's call it quits for tonight. I'll prepare some things for tomorrow, so please wait until then."
"...? I can only agree, but... what do you mean by preparing some things?"
"Just some things. If you don't have a crest, you can't switch, right? We're going to tamper inside your body, so we need drugs and medical tools and things."
"―――――"
Whoa. I really felt a chill there.
"What? I'll stop if you don't want to. But in that case, there'll be nothing I can teach you."
"Uh... no, I don't want to, but please. You're probably correct."
...Well, I don't know what she meant by the word switch, but I think the fact that I can't do so is related to the fact that I always fail when trying to turn myself into a Magic Circuit.
"Then tomorrow's plan's decided.
...Oh yeah, are you going to be training with Saber again tomorrow?"
"...? Yeah. I'm also worried about the boundary field at school, but there's still time until it's activated. I want to be able to fight at least a bit by then."
"Well, that's fine. But it seems you aren't getting along with Saber too well in spite of that."
"Ugh... that's, uh..."
"You guys were talking normally before dinner, but you've been silent since dinnertime.
I'm asking to make sure, but everything's all right between you two, right? If you guys disagree during a battle, I'm going to suffer as well."
...Ugh.
It's just that there was a small thing before dinner, and it's just a bit awkward.
That's all... but are things really all right between me and Saber?
Well, I think I know a bit about Saber, having trained with her all today.
I can trust Saber as an ally.
That's absolute.
But if you ask me how I think of her beyond that, I can't readily answer.
First of all, I...
All my proper emotions were stolen away at that instant.
"...That's a difficult question. How about you, Tohsaka? Do you like Saber?"
"I like her. There's no reason not to like her.
She's strong, well-mannered, and beautiful. She's so different from my cynical guy."
"I see, so you like Saber."
"――! What? I just said she's the kind of person I like. Y-You should stop saying things so directly. You'll make more enemies that way."
"I refuse. I hate being indirect like you, and I'm a poor talker by nature."
"...I assumed so. You don't seem like the kind to be sarcastic or cynical. Yeah, I bet you think of me as a loud annoying person, right?"
"...? Why? I like the way you say things. It wouldn't seem like you if you weren't like that."
"―――――!"
Oh.
Tohsaka looks away from me unpleasantly. I might have angered her.
"......"
Well, beyond that, I'm a bit happy right now since Tohsaka said she likes Saber.
Scene 02 - Life guard
"Well, I should at least wash the floor."
I already told Saber to come here in a little while.
I always do the minimum cleaning necessary, but it's been a few years since I last had a contest with someone.
It'd be impolite to the dojo and Saber if I don't at least clean the floor.
"...But man. I wonder what she'll make me do."
I've fought Kiritsugu a few times with shinais, but neither of us considered form and it was more like amateurs beating each other up.
I never intended to take kendo seriously, and I was only taught what to do if an opponent had a long weapon.
"...Anyways, I wasn't good at using things to fight. I'm only interested in making and fixing."
In that regard, this is the first time I will be seriously studying swordsmanship.
It seems Saber's style is different from kendo, but it should have some similarities and it shouldn't be so confusing that I can't follow it.
I hear the door.
Saber must have arrived on time.
That's good, as I just finished cleaning too.
"Sorry to keep you waiting. I'll be learning here starting today―――"
"...? What is it, Shirou? You look like you're surprised at something."
"Oh――well, I'm surprised because you're still in those clothes. I thought you'd be in the other outfit."
We're training with swords and my image of Saber fighting is in that armor, so I selfishly imagined that.
"I see. If you wish for me to be armed, I can be. ...You are correct, I was not thinking.
Even though it is only a match, it is impolite to Shirou not to wear my armor. I am sorry, I will change right away."
It seems Saber has come up with a solution on her own too.
"Oh――no, that's not it. It's fine, it was just a misunderstanding. If you ask me, I prefer this outfit to the armor."
"Huh...? But this appearance does not satisfy you, right?"
"Satisfy... well, it certainly doesn't look like we're going to be having a match now, but it shouldn't be a problem if that's easy to move in. You'd get tired too if you wear that armor."
"That is true, but――is it not strange for me to use a sword with this appearance?"
"Why? It looks good on you, so there's nothing strange about it.
I think you look better in that than the armor."
"...? I fail to understand. These clothes are certainly light, but they would not be able to withstand a fight. I believe this outfit is unsuitable for a Saber."
"Don't fight in that outfit, stupid. You're a girl. And those clothes suit girls, so it's fine."
Well.
I put the rag I was using into the bucket and take two shinais down from the wall.
"Well. So what kind of training should we be doing? I'll let you decide, so you can give me anything."
I toss a shinai to Saber.
Saber catches the shinai as if she's distracted, and looks at me.
"...? What? We can't use shinai?
D-Don't tell me to use solid wood swords――no, real swords!"
What a Spartan! That's well beyond what I expected.
"Ah――no, there's no need for that. Since these are excellent imitation swords for matches, let us use them."
Saber takes a deep breath quietly.
And she's back to her usual self.
"Thank God. It's too dangerous to fight with solid wood swords.
...So, what should I do? Will we start with strength building exercises like swinging the sword five hundred times or running?"
"I do not think there is any need for that. Even from what I've seen, your strength is up to standards. If you wish to train your body even more, that would not be possible in a day or two.
"You are unskilled as a magus, but I do not think you are that bad as a warrior. You must have trained hard from a young age."
"Uh――well, it was the only thing I was good at. You can train your body even if you don't have talent as a magus."
"That must be good fortune. The result of your effort was not dying when Lancer attacked you."
"But it is not something that you can rely on.
Humans have limits. Your body is a long way from those limits and it would be difficult to overcome them anyway.
So the only thing I will be teaching you is fighting."
"...? What do you mean 'just fighting'? From the way you said it, it doesn't sound like you'll be teaching me how to fight."
"Of course not. Battle techniques cannot be acquired overnight. The only thing I can do is have my Master experience as many battles as possible.
In the first place, I am not good at teaching, so it would only be troubling if you asked for my guidance."
"―――――Uh, hello?"
When she says that so proudly, as a student, I don't know how to reply.
"...Um, so. In short, we're just going to fight?"
"―――Yes. That is it, Master.
No stopping our hits, and let us fight as if trying to kill each other.
...Let me see... I believe you will understand what it is like in about an hour."
Saber lightly grips the shinai, ready to start.
"...?"
Still not understanding, I follow Saber's example and grab the shinai.
As soon as I do so.
The world turns upside down.
In short, Saber is only trying to teach me one thing.
The truth, that no matter what I do,
no matter what scheme I come up with,
I cannot ever beat someone I have no chance against.
"―――A―――Haa, haa, haa... ow――ouch, ouch, this is broken, I'm sure...!"
"It would be more swollen if it were broken. It is a bad bruise, but it should heal quickly for you."
"...Uh, I see. All right, then let's continue a bit more."
"Eh... are we going to continue, Shirou?
It is indeed only a bruise, but it is not something you can move immediately."
"What are you saying when you're the one beating my arm mercilessly?
――All right, if you're not up to it, I'll take this――"
Opening!
...It doesn't work, of course.
"Please listen to me. You are definitely fatigued. Training will be useless in such a state, so we should take a rest."
"――But... it's shameful to be beaten so badly when you're going easy on me.
I have to at least make you raise a brow or something, or I'll be too vexed to collapse."
"If you ask for surprise, I am already more than surprised. I thought you were stubborn, but I did not believe that it was to this extent."
"Sorry. I just hate losing."
"Yes, I understand well enough now. Anyways, we will take a break, so please put down your shinai.
The floor is slippery with sweat. We are not imitating a fight in an extreme situation. And it is meaningless to fight in such a fatigued condition."
"...Why? Battle practice usually assumes the worst situation, right? Then..."
"That is even more meaningless.
Listen, Shirou. If you say you are going to fight a Servant, it will be meaningless unless you have full power, the best ground, and an escape route prepared.
You cannot even be a match to a Servant unless everything is perfect. You have already made a mistake when you decide to fight a Servant in a poor condition."
"...Ugh. So you mean never fight in this kind of a situation no matter what?"
"That is correct. If that happens, no miracle will be able to save you, Shirou.
Your battle starts with perfecting your condition and finding the perfect situation."
"...I understand. Then I'm sorry, but let me take a rest."
I lean against the wall and slide down.
"―――Phew"
I let out the air collected in my lungs.
It should be air, but it's burning hot.
"...Ow."
While my body is burning with pain, I glance at the clock.
It's past eleven.
We started around nine, so that means we've been doing this for about two hours.
The first hour was just me getting beat up.
Saber's blows would suddenly strike me and I'd faint slightly.
I'd wake up, and just when I thought I'd be careful next time, I'd be knocked out again.
Anyways, I was beaten up repeatedly. It may be because my body got used to it or my power came out from anger, but I can now manage to block the first blow.
And the problem was after that.
Well, after being shown such a skill difference, can a human readily attack back?
"...You demon."
The answer is, I get knocked out the instant I shrink back.
After that it is like a mouse cornered by a cat.
If I am to be knocked out no matter how I block a blow, all I can do is get desperate and attack.
But of course, it's easily deflected and I'm knocked out. But when I get used to that as well...
"Oh dammit."
I start to gain the composure to think something like that, and the instincts that let me understand I'll be dead the next second become keener.
People usually call this being in the zone.
So then, I frantically went into defense.
The instincts that tell me "I'll be knocked out if that blow hits" come at me in numbers. So as a living being, it's only natural for me to avoid it.
I would manage to elude Saber's barrage of attacks, but I would take a fatal blow while I'm waiting for an opening to counter.
And I'd stand up and think that I can manage longer this time. From time to time, I would attack thinking it'd be best to attack if I'm doomed anyway.
The two hours were just spent repeating that process over and over.
...I don't know if I can get any stronger doing this.
I think this is just a match to help me get used to fighting.
So that I won't panic or get too relaxed in front of my enemy.
I'm just teaching my body that it is always one mistake away from death.
But still――if you ask me if this is meaningless, it is not.
As I have no weapons, I believe this tension is the thing I have to value the most.
"Well done. Are you hurt anywhere, Shirou?"
Before I realize it, Saber is right beside me.
I'm so sweaty that I'm dripping onto the floor, but Saber is not even sweating.
"It's harder to find a part that's not hurting.
...You were really merciless, Saber. If things are this one-sided, it's actually more refreshing."
I'll be honest here. 100 percent of this is me being a poor loser.
"Yes. I adjusted to your level, but tried to show you no mercy. It would not be a battle if I allowed myself the luxury of consideration."
"Right. Thanks to that, I can now calmly deal with an unchained Doberman.
...Though, it's not good enough if it's just a Doberman. I guess I still need more training."
I review my actions.
I thought I trained my body to be above average, but it's pitiful for me to give up after only two hours of fighting with Saber.
"No, that is not true. Your attacks were made with all your heart and they were powerful. Sometimes, I forgot to deal with them because you were so enthusiastic."
She's admiring needless things with gentle eyes.
"―――!"
My embarrassment suddenly returns.
Until now, we were just people fighting without any notion of boy or girl, but―――isn't this kind of a surprise attack?
"Hold on. I'm going to go get some water."
"Water? Then I will go get some for you, so please rest here."
Saber goes to get me some water.
"――Phew, I'm saved."
...So.
Just what am I saved from...?
I drink the water Saber has brought me.
It must still be rest time as Saber is sitting in a polite Japanese-style.
...I think Saber is really beautiful like that.
I'm not thinking she's beautiful from a man's perspective, but I feel she is beautiful in everyone's eyes.
She has melted into the dignified atmosphere of the dojo, and has a quietness free of any conflicts.
There is an incongruity when such a girl is a Servant and showing such willingness to fight.
"―――――"
Right now, only Saber and I are here.
This is a good time to ask her something, so―――
Her reason for fighting. I want to know why she seeks the Holy Grail.
I want to know about Saber before she became a Servant.
I want a secret attack. A super move would be great.
Scene 03 - Differing person
―――The day ends.
I feel uneasy with Saber sleeping next to me, so I escape to the shed once again.
"......"
I stop walking and stare at the winter sky.
It's not that it's exceptionally beautiful.
It just calms me when I blankly feel the coldness of the winter.
I don't know how long I did so.
But I feel like I hear footsteps from within the darkness.
"――Who is it?"
There's no reply.
But the footsteps come closer along with a sharp presence.
"...!"
I lower my waist and prepare so that I can jump back anytime.
"Hey. I'm asking, who is it?"
...There's no reply.
The cause of the footsteps appears in front of me without stopping.
"―――――"
He says nothing but glances at me.
"You're――"
He's the Servant that was fighting Lancer that night at school.
The red-armored knight that Saber beat after she jumped over the wall―――
"You're Tohsaka's Servant, Archer...?"
The man raises the sides of his mouth a bit.
He smiled――so, can I take that as affirmation?
"―――――"
...Something annoys me.
I feel irritated for no reason, or I should say, I can't get myself to like this guy.
I've never talked with him nor has he attacked me.
But still, I understand the moment I see him face on.
――I cannot approve of him.
There's no reason for it, but I just can't like him.
It's just not me. It should be the same for Archer.
There can't be three people in this world who match me so badly.
He's someone like that to me, so it'll be no surprise if he considers me irritating as well.
"...What? Weren't you going to confine yourself to keeping watch until your injury healed?"
"Of course, I intend to do so. I will end this ridiculous cooperation once my wound heals. That is why I have remained as a spectator, believing that I have nothing to tell you."
"Oh, don't hold back and stay as a spectator. I don't have anything to talk to you about either."
"As much as I'd like to do so, there's something I cannot overlook.
It seems you are not letting Saber fight."
"What's wrong with that?"
I automatically answer him back.
"―――――"
With clear enmity, Archer glares at me.
"...As I thought. It is indeed something a kid like you would think.
There's no need for help from others. I can do everything myself.
And on top of that, there can't be any victims, huh? I'm disgusted with that attitude of yours."
"What...!? You have no reason to tell me that!
I'm just going to do what I believe is right. You have no reason to complain...!"
"I have a reason. As a Servant just like her, I can understand Saber's troubles. Saber must bear a large burden with a Master like you."
"...!"
Partly because what he said is true.
But even more than that, I cannot stand having this guy say it.
"Don't kid me...! I'm not a burden to Saber! I'm going to fight in her place, so that should be fine!"
"Heh, are you saying she won't get hurt if she doesn't fight? Servants are beings that only exist to fight. It is an insult to deny fighting to such a being――but telling you that won't do any good."
After saying what he wants, Archer closes his mouth.
――For a few minutes, Archer and I confront each other silently.
"―――――"
I gulp.
His cold stare seems to be looking inside me.
And suddenly.
"So. How shall it be, Saber's Master?"
The red knight calmly requests an answer.
"What do you mean?"
"Do you really intend to finish this war without fighting? Not fighting anyone, not killing anyone, and not letting anyone be killed?"
"...I didn't say I won't fight. I'll fight when the time comes."
"I see. So you won't kill anyone even if you fight?"
"That's right. You have a problem with that?"
"I won't interfere with your overly optimistic thinking. I don't have the time, and I am not that crazy."
Archer turns his back.
"But do not misunderstand. The superhero you are being is no more than a cleaner. Know that the only people you can save like that are the ones that survive."
"―――――"
...I wonder why.
Those words make me feel like I've been beaten all over.
"...Hold on. What do you mean by a superhero being just a cleaner?"
"...You should have realized it already too.
Look, your methods will not allow you to reverse a sad event or a miserable death.
Those are the limits.
A superhero is only someone that tidies up events that have already taken place. You will definitely not be able to save the people you want to save the most."
"―――――"
That's not... true.
The hand reaching out to save someone must be able to save that person―――
"An ideal is only an ideal after all. As long as you embrace that ideal, the friction with reality will continue to increase. The path that you are about to take is of that sort.
So you will someday face reality and will have to pay the price for your compromises. That choice of yours might end up taking the lives of many people."
"Wha――"
"Be at least prepared. When you realize how small you are, decide what you will make right and whom you will punish.
If you cannot do so, then throw away those dreams and magics of yours right now."
His back disappears into the night.
"Understand? No matter what anyone does, people that cannot be saved will always exist. All you can save with your ideal is the ideal itself. That is all humans can do.
But still――"
"Hey wait! What are you trying to say...!?"
My question vanishes into the darkness.
Archer's presence is already gone, and my voice only reaches empty air.
"...What's with him? He disappears after mouthing off like that."
To summarize, he was telling me my way of thinking is too optimistic and that I'll soon have a painful experience.
How can anyone conclude that I'm wrong before I even try?
"――I'm ready. If I'm wrong, I'll just pay with my life."
That must be the readiness as a magus.
I know that without having Archer tell me.
"Heh. I really can't get along with him."
...But.
But still, I have one concern.
No matter what anyone does, there will always be people that cannot be saved.
Humans can only do so little.
But still――
"...But still. Can I follow that ideal without turning back even once?"
I mutter to myself.
I feel like that's what he wanted to ask me before he stopped himself.
Scene 04 - What to pour into the Grail
...Why does she desire battle so much?
I might be able to understand Saber's mindset if I can find out why she seeks the Holy Grail, the reward of the Holy Grail War.
But, is that really something I can ask her?
"...Saber. Can I ask you a question?"
"Yes. What is it, Shirou?"
"Um, it's something I forgot to ask.
You're lending me your power because you also want the Holy Grail, right?
So――what do you want from the Holy Grail?"
"The reason I seek the Holy Grail? Can it not be because I desire it? The Holy Grail is an almighty vessel. There is no wish that cannot be granted if one possesses it. One needs no reason to seek such a thing."
"――No. That's not what I'm asking.
Saber, you're trying not to answer my question, right?"
"Oh――Shirou, that's..."
"I don't want to know the reason you seek it. I want to know what the wish you want granted is.
...But if you don't want to say, that's fine. My wishes aren't things I can talk about either."
"―――――"
Saber closes her mouth awkwardly.
...Well, it's only natural.
Saber didn't form the contract to help me personally.
Since the only ones who can obtain the Holy Grail are the Masters, she is only helping me to take share in the reward.
That is why she must be hesitating to tell her wish, and most of all――I myself don't want to hear Saber describe a selfish wish.
...So I shouldn't have asked.
After all, it's rude for a person without a clear wish to ask other people's wishes.
"――Shirou. Is that a command as a Master?"
Suddenly.
Saber asks the question with a serious expression.
"Eh... no, it's not. I didn't intend that.
I was just curious about you. Sorry for asking you about it."
"...No. As a Servant, I certainly must tell my Master my wish.
Shirou, I seek the Holy Grail to fulfill an obligation. I want the power of the Holy Grail to accomplish a duty I could not accomplish during my lifetime."
Directly.
With honest eyes, she says so.
"...Accomplish a duty...? During your lifetime... you mean, before you became a Servant...?"
"...Yes. But I do not know my true intentions myself.
Perhaps I only desire to redo things again."
Saber looks down quietly.
For a moment.
She looks like a repentant lost child.
"――I-I see. Anyways, I'm relieved.
I was worried what I should do if you said something like Tohsaka, like your dream is to take over the world."
"...Fufu. Rin would be mad if she heard that. She is not someone who would say such a thing. She would use the Holy Grail purely for her own benefit, but it would not be something that would bring chaos to the world."
"Really? I think we should never let her have the Holy Grail for a completely different reason."
I nod to myself.
Saber is watching me with a gentle expression.
That's the end of the conversation.
It was a subject I should have kept away from.
The atmosphere is softened by talk of Tohsaka, so let's end this conversation right here.
"―――――"
But a small pain remains in my chest.
Even though I'm relieved that Saber's wish isn't a vulgar one, I think there's something wrong with that wish of hers.
Scene 05 - Hero apocalypse story
...Before she became a Servant.
I wonder what Saber was like when she was alive as a human.
Saber is so beautiful, and I bet everyone liked her.
Though one might misunderstand from the name Saber, she might have been a normal girl who didn't even use a sword.
"...Yeah. I wonder what Saber was like before."
I get curious, and I accidentally speak my mind.
"――Yes? Did you say something, Shirou?"
"Huh? No, I was just imagining what you were like before. I don't want to know your true name, but I was wondering what kind of a life you led."
"What kind of a person I was like...?
You are interested in strange matters, Shirou."
"Ignore it if it's a problem. It just popped in my head.
You're the Servant Saber, but I thought you might have been different before you became a Servant."
――Yes.
I think that she might have led a calm life suitable for a lovely girl.
"――I do not think that is possible.
People do not change their personality when they become a Servant, and I was a knight who was given a sword at birth. Any different self that you talk of never existed."
"Whoa, so you always had such a tense personality?
...That's terrible. I sympathize with the people who were around you."
"...What do you mean by that?
I am strict, but I do not coerce the people around me."
"Don't lie. I know from today's training that you're pitiless and have no mercy.
Look at this welt. You're happy to come pounding on me when I make a mistake, you devilish instructor."
"I-I was not happy about it!
I-I feel sorry for Shirou, but it would not be training if I was not strict!"
"―――――"
...How unusual.
It's really surprising for Saber to make that kind of an expression.
"W-What is with that expression? I think it is unfair to suddenly go silent."
"Oh――I wasn't expecting you to get angry like that, so I was surprised."
"Eh――i-is that so? I only emphasized what I was thinking."
"That might be why. You don't talk much with your emotions. So that was new."
"I-Is that so? I believe I act based on my beliefs."
"I'm saying that it's your thinking, not your feeling.
No, not that. It's that you don't say what you really feel."
"That is only natural. What is demanded from me is not an opinion as an individual but an opinion from my position. That does not change even now.
I will protect you as the Servant Saber.
I should not say anything that does not relate to that purpose,[l]
and there is no need to even think about such things."
"――That may be true, but that'll be boring for you, Saber.
You have a role, but I don't think you need to devote yourself to it. You have things you want to do too."
"As I said, protecting you is what I must do. In addition to being inexperienced as a Master, you do not listen to me and try to fight. That is why I am training you right now!"
"――No, that's not it, but... well, I guess it's fine if you say so."
It seems Saber is softer and cheerful right now, so I don't want to ruin this calm mood by continuing this conversation.
Scene 06 - Saber-san angry
...Um, it's not that I'm giving up my training, but...
It just might be that I'll be more into the fight with Saber if I have some special move that lets me do something just because I know it.
"Saber, I want to ask you something."
"What is it, Shirou...? I get the feeling that you are looking at me with a lot of expectation."
"Really? Well, if you put it like that, it is a request and I do have expectations. To be frank, I want you to teach me something."
"...Okay. Um, I do not quite understand what you are trying to say, but I will instruct you in anything that I am able to."
Saber must think it's a serious conversation as she adjusts herself and sits Japanese-style in front of me.
"So, what is it that you would like to know? Is it about the Servants?"
Saber looks at me seriously.
"―――――Hm."
I feel like I already know what'll happen, but let's not expect anything and just ask her.
"Um. I'm not joking around or anything, so I want you to listen to me without getting mad."
"Yes, that is why I am listening seriously. Please ask me without reserve."
"Then, I'll accept that and ask you.
――Um, well. If there is one, can you teach me an easy special move that'll let me beat a Servant? Ideally something that'll even let me beat you."
"―――――"
Saber stops breathing.
"―――――"
Saber does not move even an eyebrow.
"――I-I guess there isn't anything that convenient, huh...!?
I'm sorry, I'm really sorry...! It was just a joke, so don't take it seriously and just pretend you didn't hear it! That'll really help me... out...."
―――Uh.
Saber-san is making an evil smile.
"S-Saber...? It may just be me, but you have a really unsuitable evil smile on your face."
"It is not just you. Right now, my mind is as wicked as Rin's is."
"...!!!!"
I feel a chill, I feel a chill...!
"Uh, wa, uh."
"Why are you panicking, Shirou? I have not answered your question yet. If I did not mishear you, I believe you desire a special move that will beat a Servant in one blow?"
I retreat, but Saber advances and doesn't let me escape.
"Ah――um, well... Saber, you're mad, right?"
"Yes, very."
――I'm dead.
If this were a real battle, she would have certainly killed me by now.
"―――Calm down, let's calm down Saber.
I've contemplated my actions. I think I know why you're mad too."
"I see. Then please sit there in a Japanese style. I cannot calm down unless I explain things to you."
Saber stands up.
I quickly straighten my back and prepare myself.
"―――――"
Saber takes a deep breath.
Then.
"―――Are you kidding me...!? What are you thinking of, asking for a cheat like a special move to beat an opponent in one blow!?!!!"
"Ah―――uh."
My ear canals are panicking.
I never thought I'd collapse just from an angry voice.
That was beyond human abilities.
Does she have a voice as powerful as a beast or a lion?
"S-Sorry... so I'm saying I'm contemplating my actions.
You're stronger than me, Saber. So I thought you might know a move that even an unskilled guy could use."
"There is nothing convenient like that!
A surprise move is something you use against someone of equal level, and a beginner like you should work thoroughly on your foundations!"
"First of all, I already told you not to think about defeating your opponent! Please think first about your protection! If there is a special move for you, it would be enough judgment to stop yourself from getting into a situation that requires you to fight!"
"Uh... I understand. I understand, so――lower your voice a little."
I put my hands together to show I'm sorry.
"...Geez, I had some expectations of you, but you are so unstable. If you are like this, it is too dangerous for me to leave you alone."
Saber's scolding continues.
"...Sigh."
It was my fault for stepping on the lion's tail.
I'll stay quiet and take Saber's scolding until she's satisfied.
Scene 07 - The daughter of winter-Illya(I)
...Well.
Talking has cooled me down, so let's continue with the training.
I'm skipping school, so I should acquaint my body with fighting as much as time allows.
"Saber, let's start. I've rested enough."
"...Is that so? It looks as if you have cooled down, but your pain has not yet gone away, right?"
"I don't care. They're just bruises, so I'll bear a little pain. I can heal automatically now."
"But there is no point in training if it worsens. I believe we should wait a bit longer and see."
"Don't worry. I want to finish this before Tohsaka gets home. We can't have her see me like this, right?"
"...Sigh. I understand. It is certainly not good to have Rin, our eventual enemy, find out your powers.
I believe it is a bit excessive, but if that is the case, let us bring the pace up a little."
Saber picks up the shinai.
And then.
A strange sound echoes through the dojo.
"Saber...?"
Um, I think that was Saber's stomach.
"I believe I am hungry. I did not notice since I was so engrossed in training."
"Oh――yeah. Now that you mention it, it's lunchtime already."
No wonder her stomach has started growling.
I'm not that hungry yet, but if Saber's hungry, let's have lunch.
It'll be good if my body heals in that time as well.
"All right. It's a good time, so let's have lunch. I'll go buy some groceries, so you can rest in the living room."
"Shirou, I shall escort you if you are going outside."
"It's fine, I'm only going to the shopping district nearby. There's no one who would attack me in the daytime, and we'd rather stand out if you were with me."
"...There is really no danger?"
"No. I'll come back right away, so please wait here."
I take my wallet and go outside.
It won't take even ten minutes on a bicycle to get to the shopping district from here.
By the way, the bicycle I just took from the garage is bicycle number two. Number one is still out in front of the Ryuudou Temple.
I descend the hill.
I don't think I've been to the shopping district in the daytime on a weekday since I was running errands as a child.
Because it's daytime, there are lots of housewives at the intersection, on their way home from shopping.
They're coming from the shopping district that Sakura and I go to regularly.
I finish buying all the groceries.
Ingredients for lunch for two, and a light Japanese snack.
Dinner tonight is fine since Tohsaka's in charge of that, but I buy enough bread for four people for tomorrow's breakfast.
I don't know how to make strawberry jam, so I buy the cheapest... no that'll probably get me some criticism, so I buy a rather expensive one.
"...Damn, it's really expensive. Why do I have to pay a thousand yen for something so sweet?"
I complain as I put the groceries into the bicycle cart.
――And then.
I feel something tugging at my clothes from behind.
"...?"
I turn around, wondering what it could be.
There.
Is a young girl with silver hair.
"What, you're――!?"
I back off, knocking the bicycle over.
I stand ready at once while the girl just smiles at me.
"...?"
I don't feel any murderous intent nor even enmity from that girl.
In addition, the girl says,
"I'm glad. You're alive, Onii-chan."
And she smiles happily.
"―――!"
...This girl is definitely Berserker's Master.
The master of the monster that slashed me in one blow that night.
Who would expect to meet someone like this in a shopping district near their house, especially in daytime?
"Don't tell me... you intend to fight me here?"
"...? You're saying strange things. We can't fight while the sun's up."
She frowns in displeasure.
That is definitely the behavior of a young girl, suitable for her age.
"―――――"
I don't know her intentions.
I don't know her intentions, but even I can tell that the girl in front of me is harmless.
"Y-You're――if I remember correctly, uh..."
"Illyasviel von Einzbern. It's long, so you can call me Illya. So what's Onii-chan's name?"
"Me...? I'm Emiya Shirou."
"Emiyashiro? That's hard to say."
"...It's the first time I've heard it pronounced like that too. No, if you have trouble remembering it, you can call me Shirou. That's my name."
"Shirou? Oh, so it's an easier name than I thought. I see, Shirou. ...Yeah, that sounds good. It's simple, but it sounds aloof."
Illyasviel looks at me with suggestive eyes.
"...!"
My body unintentionally moves and lowers its waist down so it can move more freely.
...Because she is Berserker's Master.
If she felt like it, she probably could blow me away along with the flower shop next to me.
"Oh, you don't have to be so careful. I left Berserker at home today. Onii-chan left Saber behind too, so we're equal."
Illyasviel looks up at my face happily.
"...Well, what do you mean equal?"
"Hey, let's talk. I have lots of things I want to talk to you about."
"Wha―――!?"
The girl clings to my arm as naturally as if she were holding her father's.
"H-Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on...! What are you doing all of a sudden!? Is this some new scheme!?"
"We're just gonna talk. Normal children talk friendly, right?"
"Well, that's true, but we're different! We're both Masters and we've already fought! We're more like enemies!"
"That's not right. I don't have any enemies. Other Masters are just harmful bugs, but I can let you go if you behave yourself."
She's saying terrible things so casually too!
"Geez, just get off of me! You're being absurd!"
I swing my hand and throw Illyasviel off.
"Kya...!"
She topples.
As I tried to make her let go, the girl almost falls to the ground.
"Oh no, Illya――!"
...Why the hell did I do something like that right then?
When I notice, I instantly reached out for Illyasviel――geez, this is too long――Illya's waist, and caught her as she fell.
I silently lower Illya to the ground.
"......"
Illya is silent.
I don't know what to say either, so I stand still looking down at Illya.
...This is awkward.
This is awkward, so the instant I try to leave to go home...
"――What? Do you not like me, Onii-chan?"
That night.
She says this with the same glowing red eyes she had when Berserker was with her.
"――!"
A chill runs down my spine.
Her gestures up to now were so child-like that my sense of danger had faded, but she's definitely Berserker's Master.
I'll die if I disobey her.
I can't show my face to Saber if I die in vain here, and most of all, I'll involve all the people here in the shopping district.
...Yes, I can bet on it.
This girl would mercilessly use her power as a Master no matter where she is.
"...All right. We'll talk. I'll keep calm, so is that okay, Illya?"
"Yup! Then let's go to the park over there. I just went to look at it, but there wasn't anyone there."
Illya starts to run with dancing steps.
"Hurry, hurry! I'll leave you behind if you don't hurry, Shirou――!"
Illya runs through the shopping district, spinning in circles.
"...She really went on ahead."
Beyond amazement, I'm a bit moved.
For this girl Illya, any promise is an absolute truth.
That's why she ran off so happily.
She doesn't think I'll run away thinking it's a chance to do so when I'm alone.
I told her I'll talk to her, so she ran off trusting me to do so.
"...What's with her?"
She's really unbalanced.
...But, well...
I'm not yet grown-up enough to betray such a pure trust.
Illya and I are alone in the small park a little way from the shopping district.
Maybe all the children are at school or maybe such a small park isn't popular anymore.
Anyways, we start to talk in the empty winter park, bathed in a strangely tense atmosphere.
"...Wait, so what are we going to talk about?
Do you want to know about Saber?"
"Huh? Why would we talk about Saber?"
"Because we're Masters. We'd want to gain information on enemy Servants, right?"
"I don't wanna talk about that. It's boring if we don't talk about something more fun."
"Well, you say boring, but... Then what's fun for you, Illya?"
"I don't know.
I haven't talked to other people much, so I don't know what I should talk about."
"...Hey, you brought me here to talk in spite of that? Didn't you get taught not to act on something until you think it through? I bet you didn't. So be a thoughtful adult from now on."
"...Hm. It's fine. I'll let you do that sort of thing.
It's the man's responsibility to escort the lady, right?
So all I have to do is follow you."
She smiles and leans on my shoulder.
She's not just being over-familiar, but it's as natural as a small animal snuggling because it's cold.
...Wait.
Looking closely at her, she does actually look cold.
"Illya. Are you cold?"
"Huh? Yeah, I'm cold. I don't like the cold."
She breathes out a white puff.
Even though she said she doesn't like it, she looks at her breath happily.
"I see. It's not always like this, but it's strangely cold today. It would be pretty bad if you don't like the cold... um, where are you from, Illya? Your name sounds kind of noble."
"It's not 'kind of noble', I am a noble.
I was born in the old Einzbern castle.
It was always cold and snowing. So I'm fine with this cold."
"...? You were born in a cold country, right? Then shouldn't you be used to the cold?"
"I'm used to it, but I don't like it. I like warm more than cold. Don't you like warm too?"
"Yeah, of course. I like it warm rather than cold."
"Yeah! So I stay warm in my room when it's cold. But I like the snow. It's so white and my dad said it's just like my hair."
"――"
I clap my hands together.
She's right now that she's mentioned it.
I was trying to work out what I associated with Illya. If there was such a thing as a snow fairy, wouldn't it look like her?
"Your father says clever things. Your hair is certainly like snow. It's white and it looks soft."
"Ehehe, right? This hair is something I can brag about. It comes from my mom, and it's the only girlish thing about me."
Illya laughs happily.
Seeing such gestures really numbs me.
I couldn't have believed she was really Berserker's Master if I hadn't seen it.
"How about you, Shirou? Do you have something you got from your dad? Oh, don't say the Magic Crest.
I'm talking about what you got from him as your dad, not as a Master."
"Huh, me? ...Hmmm... I guess my house in the end.
Before that, I got my last name. And the thing I got first was..."
My life when I was about to die.
Because I was the only one saved by Kiritsugu in that fire ten years ago.
"...Let's see, I don't have any physical features like you that I got from my parents. But I think I got a lot of things as good as that."
Illya is delighted as if it concerned her.
I bet no one could stay unhappy if they were smiled at like this.
"But from what you said, you didn't get the Magic Crest, right? That's strange. Then you're not a Master?"
"...? No, I'm an amateur magus with no Magic Crest, but I'm still a Master.
How about you, Illya? Um――you're a Master, so you're a magus, right?"
"Huh? I'm not a magus, but just a Master.
I was never taught any normal magecraft."
"Huh...!? Then you didn't get a Magic Crest from your parents? ...Um, your family is a noble family that even has a castle, right?"
"That's right... but isn't a Magic Crest what you need to become a Master? That's why I'm a Master."
Illya tilts her head in confusion.
"...?"
I too tilt my head in confusion.
It seems like Illya's words are slightly off, and we're not having a real conversation.
"...Hey Illya. I'll ask you something, but where are you living right now? It seems you came here just for the Holy Grail War, so are you living in a hotel or something?"
No, first of all, it'll be terrible if she doesn't have a guardian.
It's unheard of to let a child like this come to Japan by herself.
"Hotel...? Do you mean the villa?"
"Yeah, something like that. It's a place you can stay, but it's not your house."
"Then I have one! See, there's a forest over there, right? Deep in it is a Western-style mansion my grandfather's grandfather built. They say the Master of Einzbern lives there during the Holy Grail War."
Illya is pointing to the west.
...Certainly, there's a deep undeveloped mountain forest in that direction....
"It takes about an hour to get there even with a car, right? Are you coming here from there alone?"
"Yeah, I snuck out today. Sella and Leysritt are my maids, but they're annoying.
I came to Japan, so I think I can go outside just while I'm here. I always got what I wanted, but I was always shut away in my room, so this is a reward."
"...? You mean you were locked up in your room?"
"Yeah. When it snowed, they didn't let me outside because it was bad for my body. So I was playing inside most of the time.
Oh, but I'm fine. It's not as cold here as the castle, so I'm fine by myself."
Illya says so with a full smile.
She swings her legs and it seems she's having fun just doing so.
"......"
Without knowing why, I put my hand into the grocery bag.
I take out the dora-yaki I was supposed to eat with Saber and again, without knowing why, hand it to Illya.
"Do you want this? It's cheap, though."
"Huh? What is that? Food?"
"That's right. I don't like sweets, but this is an exception. This is the snack my father and I always have with tea."
"...Um. ...So, I can have it?"
Illya looks up at me timidly.
"Yeah. It's no good if I eat by myself, so let's eat together."
I hand her the dora-yaki.
Illya hesitates, and then takes the Japanese snack that I'm sure she's never seen before.
"Ehe. Yeah, thanks!"
She eats it happily.
Her gestures are so enthusiastic that the expression 'stuffing her cheeks' fits perfectly.
"―――――"
I eat my dora-yaki as well and endure the shock that attacked the back of my head.
...Geez.
Why was I thinking it might be nice to have a smaller sister like this?
"...But, really..."
I think Illya is too innocent.
This girl might really be a child who doesn't yet know the difference between good and evil.
I can barely imagine how a child born in a family of magi is raised.
But still――I can tell that the environment Illya was raised in wasn't normal.
Tohsaka is like that, but she's a magus by nature from the core. She has accepted the Holy Grail War and the killings between Masters as "murder".
But maybe this girl became a Master without knowing what it means to kill someone.
I've only talked a bit with her, but I don't think Illya is a girl that would want to kill others.
So――
"Illya. This is a serious subject, but..."
Then.
Illya suddenly raises her head as if called by someone.
"...Illya? What's wrong?"
"Yeah. I have to go home. Berserker woke up."
She jumps off the bench.
<<<<<<< .merge_file_QQkPai
Illya runs out of the park without saying goodbye and disappears in a blink of an eye.
Illya runs out of the park without saying goodbye and disappears in a blink of an eye.
Scene 08 - Life guard & safe
"I'm going, Shirou. I'll bring you home something, so be good."
Fuji-Nee goes to work, waving goodbye.
"I'll get going too. I'll be home a bit later since I'm going by my house, but I'll be home before dinner. Don't do anything careless while I'm gone."
Tohsaka says goodbye with a look and leaves for school.
"――Well."
The time is just past 7:30.
I was able to send them off without delay, so there's only one thing to do now.
"Well, let's continue from yesterday. Let's go to the dojo, Saber."
"Are we starting the training immediately? We just ate breakfast, so should we not rest for a while?"
"There's no need to worry. I've trained enough to be able to move right after eating, and we had toast this morning too. I don't live so unhealthily that bread sits heavy in my stomach."
"...Oh. If you say it is fine, I do not mind."
"Then there's no problem. Let's go. I'll show you the results of planning all last night on how to hit you at least once."
"...!"
I'm blown to the ground along with my defending shinai, not fully able to dodge Saber's counter-attack.
"Ha――kuh..."
The hand holding my shinai is numb.
It was a counterattack received after charging into her with all my might trying to overpower her.
Naturally, I'll drop my shinai and fall on my butt.
"――Damn. I thought that would work."
"Your judgments are too optimistic.
Please understand that you cannot defeat a Servant even if you put your life at risk in an attack. It is good to have determination, but please consider your opponent first."
"...Hm. You say so, but I'll be beaten eventually if I'm on the defensive. I have to go on the offense if there's a chance."
"That is true, but you do not understand how to make use of such a chance. If you are to attack risking your life, you should wait for an appropriate chance."
"You don't even need to tell me. You looked away for a bit earlier, right? Something like that only happens maybe once a day, so I thought it was a chance."
"It was good that you were able to make that judgment in an instant, but that was an opening I made intentionally.
I averted my gaze to see if you would be agitated by it, but I would never have thought you would come straight for me."
"――Ugh. You're mean. It's no good making fun of a beginner."
"I am not making fun of you. Even if it is a plot of mine, as long as it is an opening, I bear some risk as well.
But then, the risk I took averting my gaze and the risk you took coming at me with your life do not even need to be scaled."
"...Hm. So the point is to softly attack the small openings? A large swing will miss the opportunity... no, I bet you want to say that I should act according to the size of the opening, right?"
"Yes. So please try to estimate the size of the opening."
"But you are much clearer than yesterday on the line of death. Once you obtain the skill to sense danger, the decisions of whom to fight and what to do naturally become limited."
Saber comments happily.
If I'm not imagining things, she might be happy that her student has improved a bit.
"It is almost time to take a break. Should I go and get some water, Shirou?"
"Oh, that's fine. I brought a kettle, so I'll drink from that."
I pull my tired body over to the wall.
I wipe my sweat off with the towel I prepared and drink the water out of the kettle.
"――Phew."
I exhale.
...For three hours since I saw Fuji-Nee and Tohsaka out, I've been fighting Saber.
As usual, Saber doesn't explain anything and I don't ask anything as we cross swords.
It's a match with pretty much no chance of my victory, but my body moves better the more I fight Saber.
I'm not hoping to improve my fighting techniques.
This is just letting my body, not my mind, get used to battle.
But it's still better than doing nothing, and since I don't have anything, I'll be of no use unless I train this one aspect.
When the time comes for me to face a Master, if I am thinking about how to fight, that'll surely prove fatal.
"...Saber's... not sweating, as I expected."
I feel down, but I won't be able to catch up to her in a day or two.
Saber is resting her body, sitting Japanese-style like yesterday.
"――――Hm."
It's a waste just sitting here absent-mindedly.
It's break time, so I'll talk to her.
All right, then――
Scene 12 - Hero apocalypse story
...Before she became a Servant.
I wonder what Saber was like when she was alive as a human.
Saber is so beautiful, and I bet everyone liked her.
Though one might misunderstand from the name Saber, she might have been a normal girl who didn't even use a sword.
"...Yeah. I wonder what Saber was like before."
I get curious, and I accidentally speak my mind.
"――Yes? Did you say something, Shirou?"
"Huh? No, I was just imagining what you were like before. I don't want to know your true name, but I was wondering what kind of a life you led."
"What kind of a person I was like...?
You are interested in strange matters, Shirou."
"Ignore it if it's a problem. It just popped in my head.
You're the Servant Saber, but I thought you might have been different before you became a Servant."
――Yes.
I think that she might have led a calm life suitable for a lovely girl.
"――I do not think that is possible.
People do not change their personality when they become a Servant, and I was a knight who was given a sword at birth. Any different self that you talk of never existed."
"Whoa, so you always had such a tense personality?
...That's terrible. I sympathize with the people who were around you."
"...What do you mean by that?
I am strict, but I do not coerce the people around me."
"Don't lie. I know from today's training that you're pitiless and have no mercy.
Look at this welt. You're happy to come pounding on me when I make a mistake, you devilish instructor."
"I-I was not happy about it!
I-I feel sorry for Shirou, but it would not be training if I was not strict!"
"―――――"
...How unusual.
It's really surprising for Saber to make that kind of an expression.
"W-What is with that expression? I think it is unfair to suddenly go silent."
"Oh――I wasn't expecting you to get angry like that, so I was surprised."
"Eh――i-is that so? I only emphasized what I was thinking."
"That might be why. You don't talk much with your emotions. So that was new."
"I-Is that so? I believe I act based on my beliefs."
"I'm saying that it's your thinking, not your feeling.
No, not that. It's that you don't say what you really feel."
"That is only natural. What is demanded from me is not an opinion as an individual but an opinion from my position. That does not change even now.
I will protect you as the Servant Saber.
I should not say anything that does not relate to that purpose,[l]
and there is no need to even think about such things."
"――That may be true, but that'll be boring for you, Saber.
You have a role, but I don't think you need to devote yourself to it. You have things you want to do too."
"As I said, protecting you is what I must do. In addition to being inexperienced as a Master, you do not listen to me and try to fight. That is why I am training you right now!"
"――No, that's not it, but... well, I guess it's fine if you say so."
It seems Saber is softer and cheerful right now, so I don't want to ruin this calm mood by continuing this conversation.
Scene 13 - Saber-san angry
...Um, it's not that I'm giving up my training, but...
It just might be that I'll be more into the fight with Saber if I have some special move that lets me do something just because I know it.
"Saber, I want to ask you something."
"What is it, Shirou...? I get the feeling that you are looking at me with a lot of expectation."
"Really? Well, if you put it like that, it is a request and I do have expectations. To be frank, I want you to teach me something."
"...Okay. Um, I do not quite understand what you are trying to say, but I will instruct you in anything that I am able to."
Saber must think it's a serious conversation as she adjusts herself and sits Japanese-style in front of me.
"So, what is it that you would like to know? Is it about the Servants?"
Saber looks at me seriously.
"―――――Hm."
I feel like I already know what'll happen, but let's not expect anything and just ask her.
"Um. I'm not joking around or anything, so I want you to listen to me without getting mad."
"Yes, that is why I am listening seriously. Please ask me without reserve."
"Then, I'll accept that and ask you.
――Um, well. If there is one, can you teach me an easy special move that'll let me beat a Servant? Ideally something that'll even let me beat you."
"―――――"
Saber stops breathing.
"―――――"
Saber does not move even an eyebrow.
"――I-I guess there isn't anything that convenient, huh...!?
I'm sorry, I'm really sorry...! It was just a joke, so don't take it seriously and just pretend you didn't hear it! That'll really help me... out...."
―――Uh.
Saber-san is making an evil smile.
"S-Saber...? It may just be me, but you have a really unsuitable evil smile on your face."
"It is not just you. Right now, my mind is as wicked as Rin's is."
"...!!!!"
I feel a chill, I feel a chill...!
"Uh, wa, uh."
"Why are you panicking, Shirou? I have not answered your question yet. If I did not mishear you, I believe you desire a special move that will beat a Servant in one blow?"
I retreat, but Saber advances and doesn't let me escape.
"Ah――um, well... Saber, you're mad, right?"
"Yes, very."
――I'm dead.
If this were a real battle, she would have certainly killed me by now.
"―――Calm down, let's calm down Saber.
I've contemplated my actions. I think I know why you're mad too."
"I see. Then please sit there in a Japanese style. I cannot calm down unless I explain things to you."
Saber stands up.
I quickly straighten my back and prepare myself.
"―――――"
Saber takes a deep breath.
Then.
"―――Are you kidding me...!? What are you thinking of, asking for a cheat like a special move to beat an opponent in one blow!?!!!"
"Ah―――uh."
My ear canals are panicking.
I never thought I'd collapse just from an angry voice.
That was beyond human abilities.
Does she have a voice as powerful as a beast or a lion?
"S-Sorry... so I'm saying I'm contemplating my actions.
You're stronger than me, Saber. So I thought you might know a move that even an unskilled guy could use."
"There is nothing convenient like that!
A surprise move is something you use against someone of equal level, and a beginner like you should work thoroughly on your foundations!"
"First of all, I already told you not to think about defeating your opponent! Please think first about your protection! If there is a special move for you, it would be enough judgment to stop yourself from getting into a situation that requires you to fight!"
"Uh... I understand. I understand, so――lower your voice a little."
I put my hands together to show I'm sorry.
"...Geez, I had some expectations of you, but you are so unstable. If you are like this, it is too dangerous for me to leave you alone."
Saber's scolding continues.
"...Sigh."
It was my fault for stepping on the lion's tail.
I'll stay quiet and take Saber's scolding until she's satisfied.
Scene 14 - What to pour into the Grail
...Why does she desire battle so much?
I might be able to understand Saber's mindset if I can find out why she seeks the Holy Grail, the reward of the Holy Grail War.
But, is that really something I can ask her?
"...Saber. Can I ask you a question?"
"Yes. What is it, Shirou?"
"Um, it's something I forgot to ask.
You're lending me your power because you also want the Holy Grail, right?
So――what do you want from the Holy Grail?"
"The reason I seek the Holy Grail? Can it not be because I desire it? The Holy Grail is an almighty vessel. There is no wish that cannot be granted if one possesses it. One needs no reason to seek such a thing."
"――No. That's not what I'm asking.
Saber, you're trying not to answer my question, right?"
"Oh――Shirou, that's..."
"I don't want to know the reason you seek it. I want to know what the wish you want granted is.
...But if you don't want to say, that's fine. My wishes aren't things I can talk about either."
"―――――"
Saber closes her mouth awkwardly.
...Well, it's only natural.
Saber didn't form the contract to help me personally.
Since the only ones who can obtain the Holy Grail are the Masters, she is only helping me to take share in the reward.
That is why she must be hesitating to tell her wish, and most of all――I myself don't want to hear Saber describe a selfish wish.
...So I shouldn't have asked.
After all, it's rude for a person without a clear wish to ask other people's wishes.
"――Shirou. Is that a command as a Master?"
Suddenly.
Saber asks the question with a serious expression.
"Eh... no, it's not. I didn't intend that.
I was just curious about you. Sorry for asking you about it."
"...No. As a Servant, I certainly must tell my Master my wish.
Shirou, I seek the Holy Grail to fulfill an obligation. I want the power of the Holy Grail to accomplish a duty I could not accomplish during my lifetime."
Directly.
With honest eyes, she says so.
"...Accomplish a duty...? During your lifetime... you mean, before you became a Servant...?"
"...Yes. But I do not know my true intentions myself.
Perhaps I only desire to redo things again."
Saber looks down quietly.
For a moment.
She looks like a repentant lost child.
"――I-I see. Anyways, I'm relieved.
I was worried what I should do if you said something like Tohsaka, like your dream is to take over the world."
"...Fufu. Rin would be mad if she heard that. She is not someone who would say such a thing. She would use the Holy Grail purely for her own benefit, but it would not be something that would bring chaos to the world."
"Really? I think we should never let her have the Holy Grail for a completely different reason."
I nod to myself.
Saber is watching me with a gentle expression.
That's the end of the conversation.
It was a subject I should have kept away from.
The atmosphere is softened by talk of Tohsaka, so let's end this conversation right here.
"―――――"
But a small pain remains in my chest.
Even though I'm relieved that Saber's wish isn't a vulgar one, I think there's something wrong with that wish of hers.
Scene 15 - Saber-san angry
...Um, it's not that I'm giving up my training, but...
It just might be that I'll be more into the fight with Saber if I have some special move that lets me do something just because I know it.
"Saber, I want to ask you something."
"What is it, Shirou...? I get the feeling that you are looking at me with a lot of expectation."
"Really? Well, if you put it like that, it is a request and I do have expectations. To be frank, I want you to teach me something."
"...Okay. Um, I do not quite understand what you are trying to say, but I will instruct you in anything that I am able to."
Saber must think it's a serious conversation as she adjusts herself and sits Japanese-style in front of me.
"So, what is it that you would like to know? Is it about the Servants?"
Saber looks at me seriously.
"―――――Hm."
I feel like I already know what'll happen, but let's not expect anything and just ask her.
"Um. I'm not joking around or anything, so I want you to listen to me without getting mad."
"Yes, that is why I am listening seriously. Please ask me without reserve."
"Then, I'll accept that and ask you.
――Um, well. If there is one, can you teach me an easy special move that'll let me beat a Servant? Ideally something that'll even let me beat you."
"―――――"
Saber stops breathing.
"―――――"
Saber does not move even an eyebrow.
"――I-I guess there isn't anything that convenient, huh...!?
I'm sorry, I'm really sorry...! It was just a joke, so don't take it seriously and just pretend you didn't hear it! That'll really help me... out...."
―――Uh.
Saber-san is making an evil smile.
"S-Saber...? It may just be me, but you have a really unsuitable evil smile on your face."
"It is not just you. Right now, my mind is as wicked as Rin's is."
"...!!!!"
I feel a chill, I feel a chill...!
"Uh, wa, uh."
"Why are you panicking, Shirou? I have not answered your question yet. If I did not mishear you, I believe you desire a special move that will beat a Servant in one blow?"
I retreat, but Saber advances and doesn't let me escape.
"Ah――um, well... Saber, you're mad, right?"
"Yes, very."
――I'm dead.
If this were a real battle, she would have certainly killed me by now.
"―――Calm down, let's calm down Saber.
I've contemplated my actions. I think I know why you're mad too."
"I see. Then please sit there in a Japanese style. I cannot calm down unless I explain things to you."
Saber stands up.
I quickly straighten my back and prepare myself.
"―――――"
Saber takes a deep breath.
Then.
"Are you kidding me...!? What are you thinking of, asking for a cheat like a special move to beat an opponent in one blow!?!!!"
"Ah―――uh."
My ear canals are panicking.
I never thought I'd collapse just from an angry voice.
That was beyond human abilities.
Does she have a voice as powerful as a beast or a lion?
"S-Sorry... so I'm saying I'm contemplating my actions.
You're stronger than me, Saber. So I thought you might know a move that even an unskilled guy could use."
"There is nothing convenient like that!
A surprise move is something you use against someone of equal level, and a beginner like you should work thoroughly on your foundations!"
"First of all, I already told you not to think about defeating your opponent! Please think first about your protection! If there is a special move for you, it would be enough judgment to stop yourself from getting into a situation that requires you to fight!"
"Uh... I understand. I understand, so――lower your voice a little."
I put my hands together to show I'm sorry.
"...Geez, I had some expectations of you, but you are so unstable. If you are like this, it is too dangerous for me to leave you alone."
Saber's scolding continues.
"...Sigh."
It was my fault for stepping on the lion's tail.
I'll stay quiet and take Saber's scolding until she's satisfied.
Scene 16 - What to pour into the Grail
...Why does she desire battle so much?
I might be able to understand Saber's mindset if I can find out why she seeks the Holy Grail, the reward of the Holy Grail War.
But, is that really something I can ask her?
"...Saber. Can I ask you a question?"
"Yes. What is it, Shirou?"
"Um, it's something I forgot to ask.
You're lending me your power because you also want the Holy Grail, right?
So――what do you want from the Holy Grail?"
"The reason I seek the Holy Grail? Can it not be because I desire it? The Holy Grail is an almighty vessel. There is no wish that cannot be granted if one possesses it. One needs no reason to seek such a thing."
"――No. That's not what I'm asking.
Saber, you're trying not to answer my question, right?"
"Oh――Shirou, that's..."
"I don't want to know the reason you seek it. I want to know what the wish you want granted is.
...But if you don't want to say, that's fine. My wishes aren't things I can talk about either."
"―――――"
Saber closes her mouth awkwardly.
...Well, it's only natural.
Saber didn't form the contract to help me personally.
Since the only ones who can obtain the Holy Grail are the Masters, she is only helping me to take share in the reward.
That is why she must be hesitating to tell her wish, and most of all――I myself don't want to hear Saber describe a selfish wish.
...So I shouldn't have asked.
After all, it's rude for a person without a clear wish to ask other people's wishes.
"――Shirou. Is that a command as a Master?"
Suddenly.
Saber asks the question with a serious expression.
"Eh... no, it's not. I didn't intend that.
I was just curious about you. Sorry for asking you about it."
"...No. As a Servant, I certainly must tell my Master my wish.
Shirou, I seek the Holy Grail to fulfill an obligation. I want the power of the Holy Grail to accomplish a duty I could not accomplish during my lifetime."
Directly.
With honest eyes, she says so.
"...Accomplish a duty...? During your lifetime... you mean, before you became a Servant...?"
"...Yes. But I do not know my true intentions myself.
Perhaps I only desire to redo things again."
Saber looks down quietly.
For a moment.
She looks like a repentant lost child.
"――I-I see. Anyways, I'm relieved.
I was worried what I should do if you said something like Tohsaka, like your dream is to take over the world."
"...Fufu. Rin would be mad if she heard that. She is not someone who would say such a thing. She would use the Holy Grail purely for her own benefit, but it would not be something that would bring chaos to the world."
"Really? I think we should never let her have the Holy Grail for a completely different reason."
I nod to myself.
Saber is watching me with a gentle expression.
That's the end of the conversation.
It was a subject I should have kept away from.
The atmosphere is softened by talk of Tohsaka, so let's end this conversation right here.
"―――――"
But a small pain remains in my chest.
Even though I'm relieved that Saber's wish isn't a vulgar one, I think there's something wrong with that wish of hers.
Scene 17 - Hero apocalypse story
...Before she became a Servant.
I wonder what Saber was like when she was alive as a human.
Saber is so beautiful, and I bet everyone liked her.
Though one might misunderstand from the name Saber, she might have been a normal girl who didn't even use a sword.
"...Yeah. I wonder what Saber was like before."
I get curious, so I accidentally speak out my mind.
"――Yes? Did you say something, Shirou?"
"Huh? No, I was just imagining what you were like before. I don't want to know your true name, but I was wondering what kind of a life you led."
"What kind of a person I was like...?
You are interested in strange matters, Shirou."
"Ignore it if it's a problem. It just popped in my head.
You're the Servant Saber, but I thought you might have been different before you became a Servant."
――Yes.
I think that she might have led a calm life suitable for a lovely girl.
"――I do not think that is possible.
People do not change their personality when they become a Servant, and I was a knight who was given a sword at birth. Any different self that you talk of never existed."
"Whoa, so you always had such a tense personality?
...That's terrible. I sympathize with the people who were around you."
"...What do you mean by that?
I am strict, but I do not coerce the people around me."
"Don't lie. I know from today's training that you're pitiless and have no mercy.
Look at this welt. You're happy to come pounding on me when I make a mistake, you devilish instructor."
"I-I was not happy about it!
I-I feel sorry for Shirou, but it would not be training if I was not strict!"
"―――――"
...How unusual.
It's really surprising for Saber to make that kind of an expression.
"W-What is with that expression? I think it is unfair to suddenly go silent."
"Oh――I wasn't expecting you to get angry like that, so I was surprised."
"Eh――i-is that so? I only emphasized what I was thinking."
"That might be why. You don't talk much with your emotions. So that was new."
"I-Is that so? I believe I act based on my beliefs."
"I'm saying that it's your thinking, not your feeling.
No, not that. It's that you don't say what you really feel."
"That is only natural. What is demanded from me is not an opinion as an individual but an opinion from my position. That does not change even now.
I will protect you as the Servant Saber.
I should not say anything that does not relate to that purpose,[l]
and there is no need to even think about such things."
"――That may be true, but that'll be boring for you, Saber.
You have a role, but I don't think you need to devote yourself to it. You have things you want to do too."
"As I said, protecting you is what I must do. In addition to being inexperienced as a Master, you do not listen to me and try to fight. That is why I am training you right now!"
"――No, that's not it, but... well, I guess it's fine if you say so."
It seems Saber is softer and cheerful right now, so I don't want to ruin this calm mood by continuing this conversation.
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