Loop 14
Day 1
School・Day 1 Cat-tiger family rampage
Today's task: Go out to buy some supplies.
"Off you go, Emiya-kun."
The list that I just got from the boss contains: some wood, nails, a hammer, wood glue, red paint, blue paint, and to finish it all off, two nameplates.
...I check it over one more time, but sure enough, "Copenhagen," my place of work, is still a liquor store.
“Hey you, stop zoning out.
Things won't go well if the advisor is sleeping on the job, don't you think?”
Neko-san, the treasurer, is in the daily goods corner.
A saw in one hand and a cleaver in the other. "Very cool," pale homicidal maniac dual-wielding style.
“I'm going, I'm going, stop flailing those things around already!”
Can't let your guard down inside the store. Never know where the next dead end might be waiting for you...!
“Say, all this shiny stuff... which ones still need sharpening?
I've gotten the hang of it, but I've never done ones this long, see. Still don't know if it's right.”
“Should be fine for regular use... Neko-san, what exactly are we shopping for?”
“So you have to ask me, huh? Bet you've no idea what I'm thinking.
And you, Emiyan, don't you think I have worries, ambitions? I know I'm just an average nobody, but doesn't it look like I just don't think ahead?”
“I don't mind. That's what I like about my boss, actually. You were the only one who would hire me right away when I was still a kid.”
“Ahh, that... Yep, I'd hafta agree. Good choice, methinks.
Hmm, oh yeah. When ya think about it, there are good points too.”
"Indeed," nods Neko-san while examining the saw blade.
But eventually, her already narrow eyes narrow even further.
“Ah, but it's actually blood-related. I've seen it myself many times in my student days. Fujimura is obviously like your sister-in-law.”
“?”
I don't really understand the comparison, but I kind of get what she's trying to say.
In essence, she wants to say that it's like a parent having no other choice but to take care of their child.
“...Mm... Alright, I've decided. The cleaver can be replaced by a kitchen knife, but the saw is a thing in itself.
What do you think, Emiya-n? Is the price right for this saw?”
“It isn't. However, this isn't the best one for the job, either. The other double-edged blade looks crude, but is much better. Even you should be able to finish it all in a day with that one, boss.”
“What? Don't say that you know what I was actually planning to do.”
“I can guess. Your rival just got hired, right?”
...Best if I keep to the back of the shop, though.
Hanging around the shop unoccupied can be scary. Better pray the big game hunting season hasn't started, that's my boss.
“Yeah? That "rival" you speak of, distilling liquor even further, what's up with that? ...Speaking of which, wasn't there some weird protest about distilling Japanese sake?
Yeah, sake... Its taste is already beyond awesome, nothing compares to it. We'll be in real trouble if reaches perfection. Oh well, whatever.”
Don't let this inconsistent manner of speech overwhelm you.
It seems the style suits Neko-san rather well, actually.
That's the Copenhagen family. Blood is thicker than water.
“So, how about that one? You said we should get screws and not just nails or something like that, no?”
“Yes, we're a little over budget, but that is correct.
Now that...”
“What now, going for the luxury? Couldn't you get by with just one screwdriver?”
“Definitely not. And we'll need them eventually anyway, so let's get the whole set. Tools are never useless.”
“Is that so...? Hm, whatever you say, you're the expert. Fine, I'll cover the rest.”
When it comes to various odd jobs, the word of Emiya Shirou seems to have gained a lot of trust.
...I don't recall doing any carpentry work around the shop, but, according to the boss, that aura stuck anyway.
“And a receipt, please. That's for "Copenhagen," and these tools for Hotaruzuka.”
ka-ching And Neko-san is done at the register.
Hotaruzuka is her family name.
The proper spelling of "Neko" is unclear. She wouldn't tell me when I asked, and since she just signs with "Hotaruzuka," it remains a mystery.
We pile up the bags onto her truck.
Originally, this truck was bought to transport alcohol, so carrying plywood and timber isn't a problem either.
“Good job. That's it for the day.
And might as well give ya a ride home.”
“Thanks a lot. Can you drop me off just after the bridge?
I've got to get some groceries for dinner at the shopping district.”
“Oh? Too bad, I was going to treat you for dinner today, but you already have plans. You're like the mother of a large family, after all.”
“...There's something wrong with that. I appreciate the concern, however.
And anyway, by "dinner" I assume you mean the Kitamura teahouse?”
“You read my mind. You shouldn't disregard the Kitamura like that though. Lately, the food is better and the prices are down, even though service is bad and a weird ghost story surrounds it.”
“...Ghost story? What's with that?”
“I don't really know the details. In the version that Furumi heard, a girl beautiful beyond words appears at midnight. She then orders a meal for two, even though she's alone, and before you know it, eats it all up.
And then, as soon as the waitress taking the payment turns away, she disappears without a trace.”
“Huh... Well, I'm not sure if it's that scary.”
“Hm? Why not?”
“She's a beauty, right? A sight for sore eyes then, isn't it? And it's not like it's a curse or something. She pays for the meal, and rather politely disappears right after.”
“...Hmm. I'd be more scared of a paying ghost than a cursed one myself. Ghosts usually just wander around, right? So they aren't that scary by themselves. But if they pay, give you stuff... in other words, make direct contact, you might touch them wrong and die.
Then those aren't really ghosts, either. Well, whatever. That is, if the girl didn't just drink too much.”
...I see, I guess you could put it that way too.
Things like ghosts can't be seen by humans in the first place.
They're invisible, and it doesn't matter if they're polite or not.
But, if one is actually following human rules, the situation changes.
That's not a ghost anymore.
It's a non-human being that exists to bring harm to all living things...
...For example.
If a strange girl were to appear, wandering around at night...
“...Say, Neko-san. Couldn't we go talk to the waitress that saw the ghost―――?”
“Huh? Isn't that Otoko with Shirou?”
“Yep, Otoko and Shirou.
What brings you here? Aren't you still at work? I thought Copenhagen is way down near the industrial district?”
“Fujimura. Did you forget what we agreed on?”
“Eh? Ugh, if you mean the last debt, didn't I pay that off already? What am I forgetting... Ah.
Right, totally slipped my mind. Sorry, sorry. Well, whatever. Can't you overlook it like always?”
“Like hell I'm letting you off with just that.
And besides, the only reason it exists is because you said something stupid. Emiyan still doesn't know, so watch your mouth.”
“Eh? No way, Shirou still doesn't know? Don't you know each other for five years already?
...Wow, unbelievable. Hey, I've kept quiet all this time, too.”
“That's because I didn't know he was your adopted brother until a year ago. You too, you only found out that Emiyan was working for me about a year ago, yeah?
Right, Emiyan?”
“That's right. Fuji-Nee told me to go buy some sake. A regular store wouldn't sell me any, and I was going to pedal to Copenhagen. So she asked why the heck would I go all the way to Neko's place.”
“Yep, yep. That's how it was.
And then I went straight to Neko's, didn't I?”
“With a shinai on your back. I studied liberal arts, I thought there was no way I'd win against the Tiger of Fuyuki.
Be thankful, Fujimura. Had Emiyan not interrupted, neither one of us would have stayed in this world.”
...Hehehe.
That is, whichever would have been the murderer, and whichever one stuck in a wall, or ended up on a hospital bed while the other's in a grave.
To protect a certain someone's reputation, I won't mention how the roles were about to get assigned. However, from that day on, anything less than absolute obedience to Neko-san was out of the question.
“Hmph, wasn't that entirely your fault, Neko?
When I heard that he actually worked there for four years already, I regretted not bringing a real sword.
And you, Shirou. Why on Earth would you go work for a liquor store? Doesn't Copenhagen turn into a pub at night? It's a gathering spot for Homurabara's "old girls," an evil women's den, didn't you know?”
“I didn't. First of all, all the customers are decent people. And Homurabara's only hazardous former student is you, Fuji-Nee.”
“Yeah, you tell her, Emiyan! Just like I thought, Copenhagen's future star of hope! There, come to me when you graduate, I'll make one fine bartender out of you!”
“Huh?”
I feel a quick tug on my left hand.
“Don't be ridiculous, Otoko. As the homeroom teacher and guardian, I won't allow it!
Shirou will go to university, and I won't let him get sucked into a lifestyle as stylish as that!”
“Wha?”
Now my right hand gets tugged.
“Guh, you just don't learn, do you, Fujimura!
Should Emiyan even enter college, it'll soon be over with this kind of academic background, don't you get it!?
You there are a good example of that!”
“That's my line, you idiot!
Smartest kid in the house, yet you wasted everything because of alcohol addiction, you hopeless bum!
And we aaalll admired you, yet you, "It's too much work, I quit, tee-hee☆," just simply drop out of school on us!! And to finish it off, you set up a dust bomb on my desk!!”
Danger, Will Robinson, danger...!
A Daniel come to judgment! This is a public place, please s-t-o-p...!
“Ha, be thankful I set it up at just the residence!
Besides, thanks to you spreading my name with a weird pronunciation all over the net, there wasn't a single guy in my youth!”
“How come!? "Otoko" is a lovely name! Yet you made me promise to call you "Neko" in front of people! How about we exchange names, you...!”
“Ha, fat chance! If that's what it comes to, I'd rather swap names with an American guy from 3-chome than you!”
Ouch.
Fuji-Nee is... well, I'd say she's about to lose it.
It's the first time I've seen Neko-san this excited.
...I see, she really was well-taught in liberal arts.
Ack, danger-danger-danger!
Do the two of them realize that at this rate, it'll be the three of us leaving this cruel world behind?
“Hah, truly a girl that spent her teenage years with alcohol and dumbbells! I wonder if the saying that reference books are like lead has some truth to it!”
“Bah, unfounded rumors certainly were your specialty!
My strength comes from helping around the shop since I was a child, as you know yourself, Fujimura!”
It's like a stand-off between a cat and a tiger.
Caught between two wild beasts, both of my shoulders come out with a tragic snap.
“――――――”
Aah... I've grown accustomed to pain, but having both limbs extracted simultaneously sends me into shock. My consciousness starts to fade...
“Huh? Shirou, why are your arms stretching? Rubber? Did you eat some strange fruit?”
“Ack, aieee!!!?
Fujimura, call an ambulance, an ambulance...!
E-Emiyan's arms are falling out!!”
“Stop exaggerating, you. It's just his shoulders joints that are dislocated, right?”
Ah... I got a bad feeling about this.
Stop. Someone stop that tiger, I beg you.
“And it's not like they're broken.
Now, watch this, Otoko. This here, goes like so―――”
“Huh?”
“"Huh" it is not!!!
Waaah, beer for Emiyan, no, wait, put his mouth under the beer tap...!”
Heh... hehe... Told you, you can never tell where a dead end might be lurking...... Uugh.