After the Rage
Narration: Anger swells up, explodes, and settles.
Narration: It's a lot like a bomb, or a flash of light.
Narration: Anger is by no means a negative emotion.
Narration: Everyone has the right to get angry at things like injustice, oppression, and malice.
Narration: But, all that being said...
Narration: ...do I still have a right to get angry?
Tristan: Hmm, I see.
Tristan: Speaking as an outsider, I would say that, while getting angry is every person's right...
Tristan: ...taking out anger you've held onto from life on third parties who had nothing to do with it seems wrong to me.
My anger comes from the injustice I witnessed back when I was alive.
And I can't shake the idea that it's wrong to take it out on others, even if they're enemies.
Chiron: If there is a significant difference in combat prowess between when you are angry and when you are not, then that is certainly an issue.
Good question. I guess being angry might make fighting a little easier for me.
Chiron: In that case, it would most likely behoove you to remain angry during battle.
Chiron: That being said, if this anger is having a negative affect on your mind...
Chiron: ...then we cannot simply ignore it. I suspect Master feels the same way.
Narration: Yeah... That's true. I nod along in agreement.
Chiron: Anger and rage are necessary emotions for anyone. We Servants are no exception.
Chiron: Indeed, I'm sure that some heroes were only summoned here due to feats that were driven by righteous anger.
Chiron: However, anger also requires fuel.
Chiron: It costs both physical and mental energy to be angry.
Chiron: So it is surprisingly difficult to remain in a perpetual state of either anger or grief.
Chiron: Is that not the case for you?
I cock my head and think about Chiron's question.
He's right. It is difficult to stay perpetually angry.
But for some reason, I still have plenty of anger to go around.
Chiron: Hmmm. What about the strain it puts on your mind?
...I don't know.
Tristan: You don't know?
Tristan: So you have no idea whether your anger puts any strain on you whatsoever?
Narration: This emotion–this burning, all-consuming rage–has never been a burden.
If anything, it's only given me energy to spare.
It keeps my mind constantly elated, to the point where I don't even realize I'm tired.
Chiron: Very good. In that case...
Chiron: I think we'd better talk to Master.
Aśvatthāman: So now, I need your advice! What should I do? Huh?
Fujimaru 1: You three make, um...quite the combination.
Chiron: Hahaha, I suppose we do.
Chiron: We may all be Archers, but we come from very different times, regions, and cultures, to say the least.
Fujimaru 2: I feel like I'm looking at RGB personified.
Tristan: As in red, green, and blue? ...Yes, I suppose I can see that.
Tristan: I guess I must be green, Chiron blue, and Aśvatthāman red.
Tristan: Though it's still hard to say as to whether we complement each other or not.
Mash: I see...
Aśvatthāman: It's not healthy for me to always be angry all the time. That makes sense.
Aśvatthāman: But right now, I can't do anything unless I'm angry. At least, I think so.
Mash: But, um, aren't we talking normally now, without you being angry?
Aśvatthāman: I can keep it in check for a little bit.
Aśvatthāman: But that's not the same thing as getting rid of it completely, right?
Chiron: Besides, we wouldn't be here asking for help if this issue could be managed by simply having him keep it in check.
Fujimaru 1: Do you want to keep your anger in check?
Aśvatthāman: Well, I definitely want to do something about it before I end up making trouble for someone...
Fujimaru 2: So you wouldn't rather just stay the way you are?
Aśvatthāman: I don't think this is a good way to be. It's not natural to be angry all the time.
Mash: Maybe you should talk to Pārvatī. She might have a good idea.
Aśvatthāman: ...Sorry, Mash, but I'd really rather not do that.
Aśvatthāman: It's like, uh... How can I put this...
Fujimaru 1: You don't want to ask your mom for help now that you're grown up?
Chiron: Hahaha. That's certainly one apt way to put it.
Fujimaru 2: You don't want to worry her?
Aśvatthāman: Basically. Please, I'm begging you here!
Mash: Keeping anger in check... What about facilitated relaxation?
Mash: You could try forest therapy to calm your mind, get a massage to relieve the tension in your muscles... I've heard things like that can work wonders for relaxing!
Aśvatthāman: I got no idea what the hell forest therapy's supposed to be... But okay, let's give 'em a shot!
Fujimaru 1: All right, let's do it!
Chiron: I think I will come with you then. What about you, Tristan? Will you be joining us as well?
Tristan: Forest therapy... I like the sound of that. I was just thinking I could use a good nap.
Fujimaru 1: No sleeping during therapy.
Tristan: Yes, Master.
Mash: Okay then, I'll go get the simulator ready!
Narration: Forest therapy.
Narration: They say it's a kind of, well, therapeutic treatment that involves going into a woods to relax.
Narration: Apparently, it's all 'cause of things like phytoncides and air quality and a change of environment and such.
Narration: Well, if nothing else, it ought to be good for the mind.
Narration: ...it doesn't seem to work that well in dense South American jungles.
Aśvatthāman: Frick, it's hot here.
Mash: I'm sorry. I think I got one of the settings wrong...
Tristan: So much for taking a nap.
Tristan: Hehe. Now that I take a closer look, I can see there are all sorts of insects happily buzzing about the air here.
Tristan: Well, I can't actually see them, since I'm too scared of bugs to open my eyes, but I can still sense them.
Fujimaru 1: You're scared of bugs!?
Tristan: Yes. I've always hated bugs. They just look much too much like fairies for my liking. That, and vampiric horses...
Chiron: Oh? I'll have you know that some insects are actually very nutritious. They're essential eating when it comes to wilderness survival.
Tristan: What? You mean some people have to eat bugs to survive? I can't even imagine it... So I won't. I'm just going to pretend I never heard that...
Chiron: I see. Well, you certainly don't HAVE to eat them, especially if you have access to meat, fruit, and veggies.
Aśvatthāman: Never mind that. What do we do about this?
Aśvatthāman: Forget about relaxing! All this heat and humidity's only cranking up my anger energy!
Aśvatthāman: Good, perfect timing! Sorry guy, but like it or not, I'm taking my anger out on you!
Chiron: Here, let us help.
Mash: A-all right! Initiating simulation battle!
Aśvatthāman: Eat this!
Aśvatthāman: Dammit. I thought that might help get my anger under control...
Aśvatthāman: But thanks to how damn hot these things were, I'm more pissed off than before!
Tristan: I'm sorry to hear that.
Tristan: In that case, I think it's time we tried some real forest therapy.
Chiron: I would appreciate that. I don't think I can stand much more of this heat, either.
Mash: Okay, I'll make sure to set the next environment to a proper forest that you can use for therapy.
Tristan: That's it. This is just what I had in mind.
Tristan: It really is peaceful here. Forests are green, and of course, I am synonymous with green.
Fujimaru 1: Really? 'Cause when I think of green, I think of Robin Hood.
Tristan: No, it's me.
Mash: (He really doesn't want to let this go!)
Fujimaru 2: Isn't Chiron more closely associated with green?
Tristan: ... ...(Zzz).
Aśvatthāman: Stop sleeping!
Tristan: Oh, I wasn't sleeping. That's just the sound I make when I'm not ready to admit defeat.
Chiron: When it comes to Tristan, I've found it's best to just not think about him too hard.
Chiron: All right, since there don't seem to be any Demonic Beasts nearby, let's try some deep breathing exercises to complement the forest therapy.
Aśvatthāman: Got it.
Chiron: Okay everyone, line up, please.
Chiron: Now, let's take some deep breaths. Inhale...
Chiron: Inhale, then expel all of your breath at once, building up power throughout your entire body...
Chiron: And stick out your fist...
Aśvatthāman: ...How's that supposed to help us relax?
Chiron: I'm sorry. Old habits. All right, let's try meditation next.
Fujimaru 1: You ready?
Aśvatthāman: Hell yeah!
Chiron: Start by sitting down in a comfortable position, then close your eyes.
Chiron: Now, look for the source of your anger.
Narration: That statement takes me a little by surprise.
Narration: Anger... The source of my anger.
Narration: That cowardly plot, unbefitting of warriors. The enemy army that decided to carry it out.
Narration: My pathetic self, unable to stop it. My comrades, falling one after another.
Narration: That was why I got so mad that I broke the rules of warfare and massacred them during the night.
Chiron: That's not the only reason.
Narration: That statement sends me reeling. I want to jump down his throat...but I resist.
Chiron: Anger like that would never last the way yours does. There must be something more to it.
Fujimaru 1: You mean he's angry at something else?
Narration: Yeah... He's right. I mean, I really was angry back then...
Narration: But the anger I feel now is different. It takes over my whole body, tormenting me.
Narration: Where does this anger come from? What in the world is it?
Chiron: That anger isn't right for you.
Chiron: If it were, you would be able to understand it.
Narration: ...This anger isn't right.
Narration: Is it the anger I felt for being punished? ...No, it's not that.
Narration: I agreed with that punishment. In fact...
Narration: I remember thinking it didn't go far enough.
Narration: That's right. I wasn't punished enough.
Narration: I've never felt like I fully atoned for what I did. I just kept wandering around wearing myself down until the next thing I knew, I was a Heroic Spirit.
Narration: I remember thinking I was sure I was going to keep being punished.
Narration: And yet...
Narration: That's right. Chaldea's way too good for a sinner like me.
Aśvatthāman: I see it now.
Aśvatthāman: I'm angry at myself.
Aśvatthāman: I'll never be able to atone for what I did in a paradise like this.
Chiron: ...You're wrong.
Chiron: That's it. That guilt is the indescribable source of your anger.
Chiron: That rage you feel towards yourself is what you need to fight!
Chiron: Concentrate. You're a warrior, are you not?
Chiron: Then you should be used to fighting yourself.
Narration: Yeah. I am. But...
Narration: ...I'm not at all confident I can win.
Narration: After all, I've been holding on to this anger for thousands of years.
Chiron: Hahahaha. No need to worry about that.
Chiron: Did you forget who's there beside you?
Narration: ...Yeah. Good point. In that case...
Aśvatthāman: So Master, I hate to ask you this...but would you mind giving me a hand fighting my own redemption?
Aśvatthāman: Listen well, my millennia-old anger. I will vanquish you in the name of duty.
Aśvatthāman: I'm here to help save humanity. To help set it right. It's natural to be angry at any and all injustice.
Aśvatthāman: But in your case...you're much too big for a simple archer like me to carry by myself.
Aśvatthāman: So it's time for us to go our separate ways, even if it should cost me my life!
Aśvatthāman: Here I come!!!
Aśvatthāman: All right! We won!!!
Fujimaru 1: B-but I didn't do anything...
Tristan: ...I see.
Tristan: As a first-rate warrior, he must be able to simulate a battle where you were there giving him orders, Master.
Chiron: Well? Is your anger gone now?
Aśvatthāman: It's not that simple.
Chiron: Perhaps not, but you can tell your relationship to it has changed, no?
Aśvatthāman: Yeah, I can.
Aśvatthāman: My anger wasn't just directed at other people. It was also directed at me.
Aśvatthāman: And just being aware of that makes a world of difference.
Aśvatthāman: Thanks, Master.
Fujimaru 1: Uh, you're welcome, but I really didn't do anything!
Tristan: And so♪ His Master♪
Tristan: Birthed a new legend♪ By winning despite doing nothing♪
Tristan: Ahh, how very jealous I am♪ Strum strum, strum strum♪
Fujimaru 1: Would you please stop singing that song already!?
Tristan: I'm sorry. Your bewildered face was just so amusing that I couldn't help myself.
Gareth: That's enough, Sir Tristan! Zip it!
Fujimaru 2: Ugh! Stupid Tristan!
Tristan: I see. Insults, is it? Well, that's okay. They don't bother me♪
Tristan: For a poet is not truly a poet♪ Unless they are also a nuisance♪
Gareth: You're not even the least bit sorry, are you, Sir Tristan? I never could tell what you're thinking.
Chiron: How are you, Aśvatthāman?
Aśvatthāman: You know, I'm doing all right.
Aśvatthāman: The time I'm spending here in peace, laughing and having fun with these guys I now call my friends... That's all the atonement I need.
Aśvatthāman: And it's not unpleasant for me, so I'm not gonna ruin the mood.
Aśvatthāman: My suffering'll last as long as I live, but I'll also be able to enjoy the good things in life.
Aśvatthāman: 'Cause they're both perfectly valid ways for me to be who I am.
Chiron: Wonderful. That answer was so good I'm tempted to give you an A+ on your report card.
Aśvatthāman: Thanks, but there's no way I'm going back to school at this age.
Aśvatthāman: ...Then again, maybe that wouldn't be so bad...
Chiron: Well, if you're ever in the mood for a lesson, I'm always accepting new students.
Aśvatthāman: ...Thank you for everything.
Aśvatthāman: I hope my uncertainty, and my anger, always remain in their proper place...
Aśvatthāman: ...and that you will continue to watch over both myself and Master...
Aśvatthāman: ...Lady Pārvatī.
Pārvatī: ...Thank goodness. It seems there was no need for me to get involved.
Pārvatī: Seeing them grow, inspire, and motivate themselves like this is the greatest reward I could ask for.
Pārvatī: Now then, I think I'd better check in on someone else who could use a little motivation!
Pārvatī: You can't just spend every day doing nothing but playing video games, after all!
Aśvatthāman: So tell me, Master: What is it you're angry about right now?
Aśvatthāman: Whatever it is, I know you'll have a good reason to be angry over it. And I'll always be there to help.
Aśvatthāman: After all...isn't that what Servants are for?