The Beast Inside of Me
Altera: ...I was waiting.
Altera: I was waiting for you to come Fujimaru.
Fujimaru 1: Where are we now?
Altera: I don't know exactly.
Fujimaru 2: ...Am I, in a dream?
Altera: Yes. You have a good intuition, Master.
Altera: I can't be certain, but I can guess to a certain level.
Altera: This is—"inside of me."
Altera: It's not something physical, but psychological.
Altera: Inside of me. I still can't say that for sure, but it's my memory. Of me, who fought as the great King of Huns.
Altera: ...Inside of the memory of myself "as a hero."
Fujimaru 1: As a hero?
Fujimaru 2: I don't really get what you mean
Altera: It means exactly what I said. The memory of "me," who was once called King of Destruction, Attila.
Altera: One who kept on destroying every civilization like a thoughtless, wordless machine.
Altera: It's my memory. That's why in here...
Altera: ...there's nothing.
Altera: I didn't think "like a human being." I didn't feel like one either.
Altera: I couldn't think, and couldn't feel.
Altera: ...To you, what do I look like?
Altera: To me, only the sky and the earth stretch endlessly. It's the end of a star that was leveled with no feeling or purpose.
Altera: To you...I suppose, it looks like a view "closest" to what you've seen.
Altera: How you see it might be different, but this dark wasteland is indeed me.
Altera: Even though I'm supposed to be looking at my memory, I see nothing. No friends, and no family...
Altera: I can't hear anyone's voice. Nothing but gusty winds.
Altera: ...Heh, talk about empty.
Altera: Despite the fact I've led many into battle, how come not even a single person is in my memory.
Fujimaru 1: I think it's quiet.
Fujimaru 2: This is pretty calming.
Altera: You're kind.
Altera: Well, I suppose that's how people would call someone like you, kind.
Altera: I never...
Altera: ...I never wished to destroy lives. Still, I always kept destroying civilizations far as the eyes can see.
Altera: You see the contradiction? I can't help myself from choosing this way.
Altera: I deviate from this planet's absolute principle— that its purpose of survival is breeding.
Altera: "Destruction" is implanted deep within my heart. I don't want to willingly kill, but I want to destroy.
Altera: As a result people die. I killed many of them. The earth was always soaked with blood.
Altera: ...However. What is left for me is this dark wilderness...
Altera: Look– it's coming.
Altera: I said there's nothing, but well, it wasn't true.
Altera: I've got ones like them. Those who have unclear names, with no faces.
Altera: Those whom I fought against and killed. I simply fought and killed without recognizing them as individuals.
Altera: Now it's time to use your power, Master. Though only if that summoning system of your works.
Altera: You have no choice but to fight, if you don't want to die.
Altera: ...I'm not sure if death exists in this place, though.
Altera: Splendid job, Master. You managed to stay alive because of the summoning system.
Fujimaru 1: ...This is a dream, right?
Fujimaru 2: I feel like I am using a lot of magical energy.
Altera: This indeed is a dream, but our minds here are real.
Altera: Magical energy exists as a link between your mind and body, right? In that case, it's only natural you use it.
Altera: Have you used it all up yet? No, that's good to hear. You see, it's not over yet.
Altera: ...This time, it doesn't even look like a human.
Altera: I wonder what that was. I feel like I have a dim memory of having killed a monster.
Altera: Or, maybe that is formed by some sort of concept?
Altera: Whatever that is–
Altera: ...Hmm. For a mere concept, I see it's ready to kill.
Altera: ...I'm so ashamed I could pass out. I can't believe I even envy such a thing.
Altera: Feelings, emotions. Things that I lacked, but now gained.
Altera: However, I can't control these feelings well. I've understood joy, but I don't how to express it.
Fujimaru 1: L-Let's just focus on the monster before us!
Altera: Of course, you know your priorities, Master.
Fujimaru 2: I think you're just awkward.
Altera: ...That's a problem. Many of my allies would tell me that back then.
Altera: It makes me happy, but I'm sad. I really wish it was true.
Altera: At any rate, we need to defeat that thing first. Come on Master, try to pull it off again.
Altera: You'll actually die if you die here. If that happens, our contract will end.
Altera: I'll be free from this subordination, and you'll be free from life.
Altera: But that won't be fun. So, try not to die.
Altera: I'd like to talk to you just a little longer.
Altera: ...I'm impressed, Master.
Altera: I have a better opinion of you. I expected you'd stand frozen or something.
Altera: Apparently I underestimated your way of existence Fujimaru, the one trying to save the world.
Altera: ...It's time for you to go back. This place isn't appropriate for you to stay long.
Altera: It only needs me. This place–
Altera: –This darkness, belongs to "me".
Mash: Good morning, Senpai.
Mash: You didn't come out at the scheduled time, so I came to see how you were doing–
Mash: But I can see that you overslept. Are you okay? You seemed to be troubled by your dream.
Fujimaru 1: It wasn't a bad dream.
Fujimaru 2: I was fighting a real battle.
Mash: Is that...so? If you don't mind, can you tell me more...no, it's nothing.
Mash: Breakfast is ready. Let's go, Senpai.
Fou: Fou, Foooou!
Dr. Roman: Hmm—
Dr. Roman: Based on my observation, I couldn't detect anything. Um, maybe I should expand the range?
Dr. Roman: Hmmm, you are in 1st century Gaul, within the second singularity that's being corrected.
Dr. Roman: Are you sure it's around here, great hero of destruction, Attila—I mean, Altera?
Altera: Don't call me Attila. Yes, I'm sure it's around here.
Altera: Someone is calling me here. I'm certain that I felt it.
Altera: It's a destructive...impulse. What's worse, it's extraordinary.
Altera: Even if it destroys everything in sight, it still won't calm down... That's what it is.
Dr. Roman: An impulse, huh? I don't know how to understand a phenomenon that can't be observed with numbers.
Mash: She probably meant she sensed something similar to that of magical energy.
Altera: Magical energy, hmm? I see, I won't deny that, but...
Altera: It's more like a forced command, one more powerful than Command Spells. That's what I've sensed.
Fujimaru 1: Are you sure about that?
Mash: Yes, I am wondering the same.
Fujimaru 2: Forced command, huh...
Mash: ...Right. It might be best for us to be prepared for combat.
Fou: Fou, Fou Fooou!
Altera: It seems like it is already approaching us. A collection of destructive impulses.
Mash: It's a Servant! If we're just picking that up now, that means...
Mash: ...it's hiding in spirit form until our arrival! Senpai!
Brynhild: ...I am troubled.
Brynhild: Oh, no... See, I knew it. I am troubled because of it...
Brynhild: I can smell that person... No wait, it's a smell similar to that person...
Brynhild: Why do I sense it? Why do I think like this?
Brynhild: ...That woman...
Brynhild: She must be one of the women... Who tried to get close to my...Sigurd...
Mash: You're Brynhild...right? A woman who tried to get close to your Sigurd? Who are you talking about?
Altera: She's looking at me. So that destructive impulse is directed to me.
Altera: But I don't remember anyone named Sigurd. Hm...
Mash: Ah! No, Altera, try to remember!
Mash: How do I explain this... It's not Sigurd per se, but someone who shares the same origin and legend as him...
Mash: You've already met him, Altera. That's right, this has happened before...
Mash: Wait, I'm sorry. I'm getting confused so let me get this straight.
Mash: In other words...
Mash: Siegfried and Altera married "the same woman?"
Siegfried: Yes, that's right. After I died, my wife Kriemhild remarried Etzel–
Siegfried: In other words, the great king of the Huns. I heard that the great king also lost his wife.
Altera: My wife, huh? Wife...
Fujimaru 1: Don't you remember?
Fujimaru 2: I didn't know you had a wife.
Altera: I'm familiar with her name, but it feels unrealistic to have a wife.
Altera: I know nothing except for war and destruction. I never directed my attention to anything else.
Altera: So...it's possible that woman was there for me.
Dr. Roman: Oh I see, one of Altera's retainers probably played it smart and had them married for diplomatic reasons.
Fujimaru 1: How business-like...
Fujimaru 2: Oh, I-I see.
Siegfried: ...I do have some thoughts on that, but this is not the place to talk about it.
Siegfried: I heard Kriemhild used King Etzel for her revenge.
Siegfried: What led her to seek revenge was my death. So, I'm in no position to accuse the king.
Altera: Etzel, huh—
Mash: What's the matter, Altera?
Altera: Well, the name Etzel isn't bad.
Fujimaru 1: It does sound cute.
Fujimaru 2: I think the name fits you.
Altera: ...It's not...what I meant. It's not...
Altera: It's not that.
Dr. Roman: (Seems like it is.)
Mash: (Yes, it is.)
Fou: (Fou, Fou Fou♪)
Altera: ...It's not...
Mash: ...Do you remember now?
Altera: Indeed, I do. But I suppose he is a different existence, or hero, than Sigurd.
Altera: Siegfried and Sigurd. I hear both of them are heroes with the same origin...
Brynhild: Oh... Oh my...how can that be?
Brynhild: That's exactly what I thought. Taking...a wife... There's no way it can be...
Fujimaru 1: It's not getting through to her!
Fujimaru 2: Whoa, this seems dangerous!
Mash: Y-Yes, Senpai! She's obviously gone into battle mode!
Dr. Roman: What, a Servant battle!? Now?
Brynhild: ...Fight me with everything you have.
Altera: Hmm, she wishes to fight.
Altera: Very well, I shall answer that wish. All I can do is wield the sword of destruction.
Altera: Come. The sword of Mars shall crush you—!
Brynhild: ...Oh... What...was I...doing?
Brynhild: Don't tell me... Was I fighting? Me? Against you?
Brynhild: I-I see, so that's what happened. I wonder why...
Brynhild: It's odd. Sometimes I attack men, but usually not women.
Dr. Roman: It sounds horrible, but yes, most of Brynhild's victims are men.
Dr. Roman: Her Noble Phantasm feels like it's that way, too– E-Either way, I am happy we could clear up that misunderstanding!
Mash: Y-Yes. It was just a matter of pressing the wrong button!
Fou: Fou, Fou...
Altera: ...Anyway, I was lucky to fight such a powerful individual. It helped adjust the aim for my Noble Phantasm.
Fou: Fou, Fou. Kyao?
My Sword of the God of War
...So we meet again.
Altera: Rather, do you still remember?
Fujimaru 1: Of course I do.
Fujimaru 2: It was in a dark and stormy wasteland...
Altera: I see. So you...remember that.
Altera: How strange... Or perhaps not. I have come to understand that human memories are unpredictable.
Altera: I may be repeating myself, but I shall explain the bare minimum...
Altera: We are within my memories. The memory that equates to a dark wasteland.
Altera: Regardless, this place has nothing of value.
Altera: To rephrase, this is the memory of my birth.
Altera: If this dark wasteland was formed using memories of my life...
Altera: ...then my life was...
Altera: No, this place was given shape by memories created before I walked my so-called life.
Fujimaru 1: Is this your birthplace?
Fujimaru 2: Were you born here?
Altera: This is where I was discovered, where I awakened—this cave.
Altera: A darkened ruin. Remnants of a civilization thousands of years ago...or so I hear.
Altera: How do you see it? I can only see it as a dark cave...
Altera: This is an ancient ruin left in the Sahara Desert. Within, the Hun elders sought me out.
Altera: To be exact, I was not born a Hun.
Altera: But the ones who raised me and made me into their king were undoubtedly the Hun elders.
Altera: In my youth, after killing a soldier for the first time, I was told...
Altera: ...That I exist to fight.
Altera: This crest of war on my flesh, and this sword of the War God... I had them from the very beginning.
Altera: I had no father or mother. I was simply discovered by the descendants of the Huns.
Altera: I was asked to become destruction itself. So...
Altera: That is what I did. I became destruction incarnate.
Altera: ...I did not want to kill. Yet I did not and still do not understand the so-called value of life.
Altera: I do not know many things. Oh, how I do not know so very much of this world's matters.
Altera: If things are taken, broken, killed...what becomes of it?
Altera: These things simply vanish from this land for eternity.
Altera: It's simple. It's plain and simple.
Altera: Destruction is...something easily accomplished, yet irreversible.
Altera: However, my existence adapted well to the act.
Fujimaru 1: ...Did it pain you?
Fujimaru 2: Are you sad?
Altera: Who knows. That is a difficult question for me.
Altera: It's what you call emotions, correct? I know.
Altera: I understand that others possess them. However, I cannot feel.
Altera: What exists within me is only...
Altera: No. Let's speak of it later.
Altera: I might have worried too much over small matters... It looks like that thing from the wasteland has come to pursue me.
Altera: Now, let us battle, like we always do. I won't mind if you just step aside and watch.
Fujimaru 1: I'll fight.
Fujimaru 2: I can't leave you like this.
Altera: ...I see. Then let's go.
Altera: That does it. Hmm.
Altera: I must apologize. It seems my idle chatter has attracted something unnecessary.
Fujimaru 1: Keep telling us the story.
Altera: ...You sure are curious.
Fujimaru 2: I don't think it's idle chatter.
Altera: ...Is that so.
Altera: Then I'll continue. Let me tell you what is inside the vessel shaped as I am.
Altera: I do not feel the emotions–the sadness, the happiness–that you people do.
Altera: Instead, there is only destruction.
Altera: All that these hands can do is destroy, shatter, and kill.
Altera: Yet...sometimes I think...
Altera: With these hands that bring nothing but destruction...
Altera: ...just like you humans who live honestly on this earth...
Altera: ...I want to feel affection. I want to embrace something, someone.
Altera: I want to acknowledge everything on Earth, not destroy it. I want to gain emotions and become a woman...
Altera: That is what I sometimes think. That is what I dream.
Altera: Had I chosen a life different than that of a soldier of destruction...
Altera: What would I have become? What would be the makeup of “me”? I could have read books. Sing. Perhaps cooked.
???: ...It's futile...
Fujimaru 1: Who's that!?
Fujimaru 2: That voice...!
???: ...You are the incarnation of destruction...
???: ...The Sword of the War God is proof as such...
???: ...Destroy, destroy, destroy...
???: ...Your existence is nothing but that...
Altera: You don't have to remind me. I already know.
Altera: ...You're a meddlesome one, aren't you.
???: ...You have no other choice...
???: ...Admit it, acknowledge it...
???: ...Altera, no matter what time period you are in...
???: ...No matter what kind of world...
Fujimaru 1: It's not looking good!
Fujimaru 2: Get ready to battle!
Altera: Indeed. That voice is starting to get on my nerves.
Altera: It's time to destroy it. Master, there's no need to hold back.
Altera: That is me, but it's just me. Even if that dies, I will not vanish.
Altera: So let's destroy it, Master.
Altera: ...This is...fine.
Altera: How many times is this now? How many times have I destroyed like this?
Altera: No, there's no way I could keep count. Then again, it felt a bit different this time around.
Altera: It wasn't bad.
Altera: If I were to express myself like a human...
Altera: It was...fun. I suppose.
I don't remember ever showing weakness before...
Altera: However, even though you may not remember when you wake up...
Altera: I'm sorry for getting you caught up in all this.
Altera: ...No. Thank you. This was the first time I was able to reject my memory by means other than my own will.