Astolfo
While Waiting for Roland
Astolfo: Yahoo! Master! We're gonna go on an adventure!!!
Mash: ...? Astolfo? Where are you going?
Astolfo: To France! I thought I'd pay Roland a visit.
Mash: ...Um. I don't think Roland is around in 1431...
Astolfo: It's okay! All we gotta do is wander around France, and I'm sure he'll get summoned one of these days!
Astolfo: Now let's go, go, go!!!
Mash: H-hey, don't be so pushy!
Astolfo: Here...we...goooooo!!!
Mash: Senpai...Senpaaai!!!
Astolfo: ...
Astolfo: ...
Astolfo: Sorry! I'm lost!
Fujimaru 1: Called it.
Fujimaru 2: I kinda figured.
Mash: Master. If you knew this would happen, you should have said something earlier.
Mash: I guess there's nothing to be done now. Fortunately, you have camping supplies, so I suggest you spend the night in the forest.
Astolfo: Yay!!! Camping! Camping! Hey, do you have curry?
Astolfo: Curry! Curry!
Mash: ...Um, if you're a Servant, you don't need to eat...
Astolfo: Ehhh?
Fujimaru 1: It's fine. Here you go.
Fujimaru 2: Let's eat together.
Astolfo: Yay! Thank you Master! Then make mine an extra large curry!
Astolfo: More! Mooore!
Fujimaru 1: Here you go.
Astolfo: Thanks!
Mash: I think you're spoiling Astolfo too much, Senpai.
Fujimaru 1: You think so?
Mash: I do.
Fujimaru 2: Then I'll spoil you when we get back, Mash!
Mash: Eh? Me!? Um...well...no...you mustn't...
Mash: Um, but if you insist, I shall gratefully...
Astolfo: Master, Master! More!!!
Mash: Again!?
Astolfo: Whew! I ate a lot! I'm stuffed!
Mash: Master. You are out of emergency rations. You'll need to purchase food in town tomorrow...
Astolfo: Okay, then I'm going to sleep to prepare for tomorrow. Good night!
Astolfo: ...Zzzzzz.
Mash: That was fast, Master. Astolfo just fell asleep in the middle of a sentence.
Fujimaru 1: Just like a child.
Fujimaru 2: Some kids act like that.
Mash: Is that true? I've never met any children like that in Chaldea.
Mash: Oh, but I remembered something. It was when I first met you, Senpai...
Astolfo: Ahhh! What a refreshing morning! ...Huh? What's wrong?
Mash: N-nothing. I just didn't get enough sleep. It's okay. It shouldn't affect us in combat.
Astolfo: Ahaha. Master, you look sleepy too. Well, let's head off!
Astolfo: Where could Roland be?
Mash: In conditions like this, I sincerely doubt a Servant could be summoned easily...
Astolfo: I guess so...
Fujimaru 1: Is Roland your lover?
Fujimaru 2: Is Roland your boyfriend?
Astolfo: Roland? Hahahaha! That's a riot!
Astolfo: That guy...he's no good, Master. He's good-looking, but he's bad inside.
Astolfo: ...No. That's not the word. He's not bad on the inside. Hmmm... To put it in today's terms, he's...disappointing?
Astolfo: No matter how good someone looks, you'd still kinda judge 'em if they ran around town naked, right?
Astolfo: Roland does that! Happily, even! It's practically a hobby! He'll just run around buck naked!
Astolfo: That's just the kinda guy he is, so prolly not really “lover” material, y'know?
Mash: ...It's true. According to legend, Roland stripped his clothes off, mad with grief.
Mash: But I didn't think he really ran around...
Astolfo: Ayup. That's cause after that, he'd get naked every chance he had. Said he got hooked on it. Hooked!
Fujimaru 1: Stripping?
Fujimaru 2: Hooked?
Mash: (Did he have a mental breakdown...?)
Astolfo: Anyway, let's go look for some enemies. My Astolfo-sense is telling me that fort looks suspicious!
Mash: Huh... Astolfo is always so pushy...
Mash: But if Roland ever joined us, I feel he would be a great asset. Let's do our best to find him.
Astolfo: Yep! He'd for sure be dependable, you've got the Astolfo guarantee on that! Other stuff...not so much.
Fou: Fou.
Mash: It seems like Fou is also concerned...or at least that's what I'm getting from that response.
Astolfo: By the way, I'm curious about something. Hey, Mash.
Mash: Yes? What is it?
Astolfo: Are you okay seeing naked men?
Mash: !
Mash: I-I-I-I...I suppose. I've never seen one, but I should be okay...
Mash: I-it is through the filter of a screen, too.
Mash: I-I-I-I think it should be okay. Yes. It'll be fine. I have a little knowledge about those things.
Mash: I'll be fine. I'll be ready. As long as you let me mentally prepare, it'll be totally fine.
Astolfo: Oh, good!
Mash: Yes. Please rest assured...somewhat.
Astolfo: ...Master. I'm betting Mash will scream. What about you?
Fujimaru 1: I'm all in for screaming.
Fujimaru 2: There's nothing to bet on.
Mash: I-I'll be fine! Totally! I'll definitely probably be okay!
Astolfo: We've arrived! Hey, you guys there.
Soldier: ...Hm? What?
Astolfo: You're looking kinda tired. Everything okay?
Soldier: ...It's complicated. This old man is considering quitting the soldiering life and go home...
Astolfo: Really? Then, good work! Hey by the way, did you see a naked handsome guy running around?
Soldier: ...A naked...handsome guy?
Astolfo: Yep!
Soldier: A guy with a bright smile, but he looks a bit dumb, but at the same is stupid strong...that handsome guy?
Astolfo: Yep, that's the one. We're looking for him!
Soldier: I see...you're looking for him? I see, I see. Hey, everyone!
Soldier: Some friends of that naked jackass are here! Get 'em!
Astolfo: Eh...eh!? Wh-what, why!?
Soldier: No questions asked! Cock-a-doodle-doo! Arrrf! Wooof!!!
Mash: What exactly happened to anger those men so much!? What did this Roland do!?
Mash: A-anyway, Astolfo! We need to calm them down!
Astolfo: I know, I know! I'll give 'em what for and that'll calm 'em right down! Astolfo PUNCH!
Mash: Well...um, I can't argue with that... Anyway, please strike with the flat of the blade, Master!
--BATTLE--:
Soldier: Why you...I curse you for the nakedness...ungh.
Astolfo: Whew. I worked up a good sweat.
Mash: Mine was cold sweat...
Astolfo: Um, the first guys...yeah, this guy! Hey! Are you okay?
Soldier: Y-yeah... (Gasp) Wh-who the hell are you guys? And why're you so strong?
Astolfo: So tell me. Roland...I mean the naked guy...do you know where he is?
Soldier: He ran wild in that fort and then disappeared... All we wanted to do was to put clothes on him...
Astolfo: That is...I can only say I'm sorry. I am pretty sure he didn't not mean to do any harm.
Mash: You need to find him, Astolfo.
Soldier: Oh, and when he jumped up, he pressed his crotch on my face... I'm scarred...forever...
Astolfo: Hey! You gotta say stuff like that earlier! I put my face right next to yours!!!
Soldier: Terrible...
Astolfo: Don't cry! Now I'm getting sad, too!
Fujimaru 1: Wanna go home?
Fujimaru 2: Let's retreat.
Mash: N-no. If Roland is out there, running amok, then that's a problem we need to fix.
Mash: Let's at least resolve this problem.
Astolfo: Y-yeah. I'll do my best! So please don't abandon me, Master!
Astolfo: Hmmm...I haven't heard any screams...yet.
Mash: I'm worried about how all these citizens have this thousand yard stare...
Mash: They all look like they saw something no one should ever see.
Astolfo: I'm sure it's just a Demon King or something. Probably. Let's ask around.
Mash: I have a bad feeling about this...
Astolfo: Hey, soldier. Mind answering a question? See a naked guy running around the streets here?
Soldier: ...Naked. Guy. This. Road. Straight. Go.
Soldier: I. Lead. Way. Follow. Me.
Astolfo: Really? Yay, a clue! Let's go, Master!
Mash: Aren't you the least bit suspicious about what that man said!? W-wait just a moment!
Astolfo: Hm. Hey soldier. Where's the naked guy?
Soldier: You. Friends. That. Guy.
Mash: N-no, that's not...
Astolfo: Um, technically I am.
Mash: Fou!
Fou: Fou!?
Mash: I'm sorry! I couldn't help it! It just slipped out! Fou, I'm sorry!
Soldier: Fufufu. This. Grudge. Must. Not. Ignore.
Astolfo: Uwaa! They're attacking! What the heck? We were tricked!
Mash: Not tricked, really. I knew they would attack. Of course they would!
--BATTLE--:
Astolfo: Whew. We beat them. They were so pale, I thought they were zombies!
Mash: They seemed that way because of those dead fish eyes of theirs...
Soldier: Ungh... So what the heck was he...?
Astolfo: What did he do to you guys?
Soldier: I scolded him because he was naked. Then he got violent...
Soldier: He even climbed onto the two hundred year old statue of our town's saint...and he mounted his head...
Soldier: And he shouted “I'm the king of the world!!!”
Soldier: The rest...was all a mess. Then he ran off, laughing.
Soldier: The kids cried...the women blushed but stared...I'm starting to get really tired of living a proper life.
Mash: Please get a hold of yourself. It's okay. Please live a proper life!
Soldier: You think so? I feel like I'm in an illusion and hallucination at the same time...
Soldier: See? There's a little girl up ahead...
Soldier: Oh, so it was an illusion.
Astolfo: Aw, c'mon. A little hallucination now and then is no big deal! People get to keep on having fun after they lose their sense of reason, too!
Mash: We absolutely need to stop this rampage!
Mash: Astolfo, we need to stop the perv–I mean, Roland!
Astolfo: Got it! ...Wait a minute. I thought the plan was to get him to join us?
Astolfo: Oh well!
Fujimaru 1: That's not good.
Astolfo: He came through the city. Where could he have gone?
Astolfo: Oh, footprints!
Mash: I'll analyze them.
Mash: The print isn't from a shoe. It's from a bare foot.
Mash: ...There's only one person crazy enough to walk a wasteland barefoot...
Astolfo: Roland! Okay! Let's get to trackin'!
Astolfo: I feel like we're playing a game of boy scouts! If Geronimo was here, he'd give us some big fancy lecture about tracking and the land or...something...
Astolfo: 'Course, then I'd forget it about a minute later!
Astolfo: The footprints continue this way... This way... Turn this way... He climbed a tree...
Astolfo: Stole a bird egg... Ate it...
Astolfo: Ouch! I-I won't steal, okay!?
Astolfo: Afterward, he wasn't satisfied with just one egg... He wandered around...fought a wyvern..
Astolfo: Then ate it...
Mash: He ate it!?
Astolfo: Raw, too.
Mash: Raw!?
Astolfo: And then afterward, he got food poisoning from eating the raw wyvern, and he threw up right here.
Mash: Master! This is not encouraging!
Fujimaru 1: Just a little bit further...
Mash: Y-yes. As your navigator, I'll stick with you till the very end!
Fujimaru 2: Keep at it.
Mash: Oh...Master's getting discouraged too. A little more...let's stick to it a little bit more...!
Astolfo: So...
Astolfo: Theeen he stepped all over his own vomit, then he staggered along...
Astolfo: And then he went to sleep sulking for just a bit. Hey, do you think it feels nice, sleeping naked on the ground like that?
Mash: This is like a strange geoglyph, isn't it?
Astolfo: But then...a wild horse came rushing toward him from the side...
Astolfo: And it kicked Roland's back. Oh, his mouth's bleeding a little.
Mash: I have no more energy to comment on this. Master, I leave the rest to you.
Fujimaru 1: I don't want to do that!
Fujimaru 2: I thought you were supposed to play the straight man!
Mash: But...
Astolfo: And then Roland stood up. He called for the horse's owner!
Astolfo: And then he got into an argument. Roland was so angry...
Astolfo: He choked the owner and tossed him under this tree...
Soldier: H-how irrational...
Mash: Yet another victim.
Astolfo: And then Roland mounted the horse... Everything was going fine for a while...
Astolfo: But then he realized that riding a horse naked and bareback causes various areas to start hurting...and so he dismounted.
H：Horse: Neeeighhh. Brrrgh.
Mash: So it really does hurt?
Astolfo: Why not try it yourself? Naked.
Mash: Absolutely not.
Astolfo: A shame. By the way, mister horse, do you know where the naked guy who rode you went?
H：Horse: Neeeigh!
Astolfo: He said, “Follow me.”
Mash: So we're finally going to meet him. Hnnn...my body's trembling...
Astolfo: ...There! There he is!
Astolfo: I finally found you, Roland!
Mash: Master, I'm starting to get embarrassed! I'm not fine!
???: O-ooohhh...you are...are you by chance Astolfo?
Mash: Oh, oh! Clothes! He's wearing clothes! I'm so relieved!
Astolfo: Yeah...yeah it's me, Roland! I'm glad! I'm glad I could pick you out because you're wearing clothes!
Astolfo: If you were naked, I probably wouldn't have recognized your face!
Roland: Th-that cheerfully dumb child... You really are Astolfo!
Astolfo: Hey, it's been a while. How've you been?
Astolfo: Oh, let me introduce you! This is my Master.
Fujimaru 1: Hello...
Fujimaru 2: I heard so much about you from Astolfo.
Astolfo: And this is Master's other Servant...she's a navigator for us now. Her name's Mash!
Mash: I'm Mash Kyrielight. I serve as a navigator for Master in Chaldea.
Mash: P-pleased to meet you.
Roland: ...
Mash: ...
Roland: ...
Mash: ...
Mash: Master, Master. He's looking at me. He's...really staring!
Fujimaru 1: B-be patient.
Fujimaru 2: It'll be okay.
Roland: You said your name is Mash Kyrielight.
Mash: Y-yes.
Roland: What a beautiful name... Fitting for someone as beautiful as you...
Mash: Eh, um...thank you very much.
Roland: The moon out tonight is...beautiful...
Mash: !?
Astolfo: Eh?
Fujimaru 1: Wh-what was that?
Fujimaru 2: Could it be...?
Mash: I-I-I-I have no idea!
Mash: I'm not sure if those were romantic words or...I really don't have any experience with that!
Astolfo: Roland's waiting for a response. He's even prostrating himself!
Fujimaru 1: Beautiful...what a beautiful way he bows...
Fujimaru 2: Mash. The gentleman is waiting. Answer him.
Mash: M-my apologies... I'm very sorry, but...
Mash: Men who like to be naked...are not really my...
Roland: ...
Astolfo: Oh, he stood up. Hey, don't get discouraged just because you got rejected by a girl!
Astolfo: Although...people fall for me all the time so I've never been rejected!
Roland: WHAAAAAA...!??
Roland: If that's...how it is...then let's all die together!!! Together!!!
Mash: Eh, together!?
Roland: Yes! This will be like Romeo and Juliet! Oh Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo!?
Mash: Wrong role!
Roland: Now, if you can hand me my Juliet, Master Romeo!
Roland: Fufu...fufufu...fuhahahahaha!
Mash: ...!
Mash: Master! He is not Roland!
Mash: To be clear, he's just lingering emotions Roland left behind...a remnant...
Mash: Anyway, he's a fake! That's such a relief!
Astolfo: Hmmm, so we're gonna have to fight, huh? Well, if he's a fake, it can't be helped! (Nobbu!)
Astolfo: Okay, Master! I'm going to win...for Mash's sake!
Fujimaru 1: Got it. Don't leave anything behind.
Fujimaru 2: Let's do it. It's going to regret ever being born.
Astolfo: Okay. I'm gonna pull out all the stops!
Astolfo: Come on, Hippogriff! Master's cheering you on! Let's give it our all!
Mash: I'm counting on you, Master!
--BATTLE--:
Roland-ish Thing: Regret...! Nothing but regret!!!
Astolfo: Roland...
Roland-ish Thing: Unnnnggh... At least...before I die...I wanted to...
Roland-ish Thing: ...Expose everything...
Astolfo: Even his evil ghost is saying that!? THAT'S your last wish!? Ahahaha! And that's why Roland's hilarious!
Astolfo: I bet even our king would laugh himself silly if he saw you!
Mash: By king, you mean...?
Astolfo: Charlemagne, of course! Now that I think about it... I wonder why he hasn't been summoned yet either...
Astolfo: Me, Roland, the king... One day I'd like to fight alongside them!
Astolfo: Okay! Anyway, we saw Roland! Kinda! And once he gets summoned properly, we can see him again!
Astolfo: But my Astolfo sense tells me that if we meet, it'll be in a REALLY dumb situation!
Astolfo: Sorry for all the hassle, Master. Now, let's go home!