While Waiting for Roland

Astolfo: Yahoo! Master! We're gonna go on an adventure!!!

Mash: ...? Astolfo? Where are you going?

Astolfo: To France! I thought I'd pay Roland a visit.

Mash: ...Um. I don't think Roland is around in 1431...

Astolfo: It's okay! All we gotta do is wander around France, and I'm sure he'll get summoned one of these days!

Astolfo: Now let's go, go, go!!!

Mash: H-hey, don't be so pushy!

Astolfo: Here...we...goooooo!!!

Mash: Senpai...Senpaaai!!!

Astolfo: ...

Astolfo: ...

Astolfo: Sorry! I'm lost!

Fujimaru 1: Called it.

Fujimaru 2: I kinda figured.

Mash: Master. If you knew this would happen, you should have said something earlier.

Mash: I guess there's nothing to be done now. Fortunately, you have camping supplies, so I suggest you spend the night in the forest.

Astolfo: Yay!!! Camping! Camping! Hey, do you have curry?

Astolfo: Curry! Curry!

Mash: ...Um, if you're a Servant, you don't need to eat...

Astolfo: Ehhh?

Fujimaru 1: It's fine. Here you go.

Fujimaru 2: Let's eat together.

Astolfo: Yay! Thank you Master! Then make mine an extra large curry!

Astolfo: More! Mooore!

Fujimaru 1: Here you go.

Astolfo: Thanks!

Mash: I think you're spoiling Astolfo too much, Senpai.

Fujimaru 1: You think so?

Mash: I do.

Fujimaru 2: Then I'll spoil you when we get back, Mash!

Mash: Eh? Me!? mustn't...

Mash: Um, but if you insist, I shall gratefully...

Astolfo: Master, Master! More!!!

Mash: Again!?

Astolfo: Whew! I ate a lot! I'm stuffed!

Mash: Master. You are out of emergency rations. You'll need to purchase food in town tomorrow...

Astolfo: Okay, then I'm going to sleep to prepare for tomorrow. Good night!

Astolfo: ...Zzzzzz.

Mash: That was fast, Master. Astolfo just fell asleep in the middle of a sentence.

Fujimaru 1: Just like a child.

Fujimaru 2: Some kids act like that.

Mash: Is that true? I've never met any children like that in Chaldea.

Mash: Oh, but I remembered something. It was when I first met you, Senpai...

Astolfo: Ahhh! What a refreshing morning! ...Huh? What's wrong?

Mash: N-nothing. I just didn't get enough sleep. It's okay. It shouldn't affect us in combat.

Astolfo: Ahaha. Master, you look sleepy too. Well, let's head off!

Astolfo: Where could Roland be?

Mash: In conditions like this, I sincerely doubt a Servant could be summoned easily...

Astolfo: I guess so...

Fujimaru 1: Is Roland your lover?

Fujimaru 2: Is Roland your boyfriend?

Astolfo: Roland? Hahahaha! That's a riot!

Astolfo: That guy...he's no good, Master. He's good-looking, but he's bad inside.

Astolfo: ...No. That's not the word. He's not bad on the inside. Hmmm... To put it in today's terms, he's...disappointing?

Astolfo: No matter how good someone looks, you'd still kinda judge 'em if they ran around town naked, right?

Astolfo: Roland does that! Happily, even! It's practically a hobby! He'll just run around buck naked!

Astolfo: That's just the kinda guy he is, so prolly not really “lover” material, y'know?

Mash: ...It's true. According to legend, Roland stripped his clothes off, mad with grief.

Mash: But I didn't think he really ran around...

Astolfo: Ayup. That's cause after that, he'd get naked every chance he had. Said he got hooked on it. Hooked!

Fujimaru 1: Stripping?

Fujimaru 2: Hooked?

Mash: (Did he have a mental breakdown...?)

Astolfo: Anyway, let's go look for some enemies. My Astolfo-sense is telling me that fort looks suspicious!

Mash: Huh... Astolfo is always so pushy...

Mash: But if Roland ever joined us, I feel he would be a great asset. Let's do our best to find him.

Astolfo: Yep! He'd for sure be dependable, you've got the Astolfo guarantee on that! Other stuff...not so much.

Fou: Fou.

Mash: It seems like Fou is also concerned...or at least that's what I'm getting from that response.

Astolfo: By the way, I'm curious about something. Hey, Mash.

Mash: Yes? What is it?

Astolfo: Are you okay seeing naked men?

Mash: !

Mash: I-I-I-I...I suppose. I've never seen one, but I should be okay...

Mash: I-it is through the filter of a screen, too.

Mash: I-I-I-I think it should be okay. Yes. It'll be fine. I have a little knowledge about those things.

Mash: I'll be fine. I'll be ready. As long as you let me mentally prepare, it'll be totally fine.

Astolfo: Oh, good!

Mash: Yes. Please rest assured...somewhat.

Astolfo: ...Master. I'm betting Mash will scream. What about you?

Fujimaru 1: I'm all in for screaming.

Fujimaru 2: There's nothing to bet on.

Mash: I-I'll be fine! Totally! I'll definitely probably be okay!

Astolfo: We've arrived! Hey, you guys there.

Soldier: ...Hm? What?

Astolfo: You're looking kinda tired. Everything okay?

Soldier: ...It's complicated. This old man is considering quitting the soldiering life and go home...

Astolfo: Really? Then, good work! Hey by the way, did you see a naked handsome guy running around?

Soldier: ...A naked...handsome guy?

Astolfo: Yep!

Soldier: A guy with a bright smile, but he looks a bit dumb, but at the same is stupid strong...that handsome guy?

Astolfo: Yep, that's the one. We're looking for him!

Soldier: I're looking for him? I see, I see. Hey, everyone!

Soldier: Some friends of that naked jackass are here! Get 'em!

Astolfo:!? Wh-what, why!?

Soldier: No questions asked! Cock-a-doodle-doo! Arrrf! Wooof!!!

Mash: What exactly happened to anger those men so much!? What did this Roland do!?

Mash: A-anyway, Astolfo! We need to calm them down!

Astolfo: I know, I know! I'll give 'em what for and that'll calm 'em right down! Astolfo PUNCH!

Mash:, I can't argue with that... Anyway, please strike with the flat of the blade, Master!


Soldier: Why you...I curse you for the nakedness...ungh.

Astolfo: Whew. I worked up a good sweat.

Mash: Mine was cold sweat...

Astolfo: Um, the first guys...yeah, this guy! Hey! Are you okay?

Soldier: Y-yeah... (Gasp) Wh-who the hell are you guys? And why're you so strong?

Astolfo: So tell me. Roland...I mean the naked you know where he is?

Soldier: He ran wild in that fort and then disappeared... All we wanted to do was to put clothes on him...

Astolfo: That is...I can only say I'm sorry. I am pretty sure he didn't not mean to do any harm.

Mash: You need to find him, Astolfo.

Soldier: Oh, and when he jumped up, he pressed his crotch on my face... I'm scarred...forever...

Astolfo: Hey! You gotta say stuff like that earlier! I put my face right next to yours!!!

Soldier: Terrible...

Astolfo: Don't cry! Now I'm getting sad, too!

Fujimaru 1: Wanna go home?

Fujimaru 2: Let's retreat.

Mash: N-no. If Roland is out there, running amok, then that's a problem we need to fix.

Mash: Let's at least resolve this problem.

Astolfo: Y-yeah. I'll do my best! So please don't abandon me, Master!

Astolfo: Hmmm...I haven't heard any screams...yet.

Mash: I'm worried about how all these citizens have this thousand yard stare...

Mash: They all look like they saw something no one should ever see.

Astolfo: I'm sure it's just a Demon King or something. Probably. Let's ask around.

Mash: I have a bad feeling about this...

Astolfo: Hey, soldier. Mind answering a question? See a naked guy running around the streets here?

Soldier: ...Naked. Guy. This. Road. Straight. Go.

Soldier: I. Lead. Way. Follow. Me.

Astolfo: Really? Yay, a clue! Let's go, Master!

Mash: Aren't you the least bit suspicious about what that man said!? W-wait just a moment!

Astolfo: Hm. Hey soldier. Where's the naked guy?

Soldier: You. Friends. That. Guy.

Mash: N-no, that's not...

Astolfo: Um, technically I am.

Mash: Fou!

Fou: Fou!?

Mash: I'm sorry! I couldn't help it! It just slipped out! Fou, I'm sorry!

Soldier: Fufufu. This. Grudge. Must. Not. Ignore.

Astolfo: Uwaa! They're attacking! What the heck? We were tricked!

Mash: Not tricked, really. I knew they would attack. Of course they would!


Astolfo: Whew. We beat them. They were so pale, I thought they were zombies!

Mash: They seemed that way because of those dead fish eyes of theirs...

Soldier: Ungh... So what the heck was he...?

Astolfo: What did he do to you guys?

Soldier: I scolded him because he was naked. Then he got violent...

Soldier: He even climbed onto the two hundred year old statue of our town's saint...and he mounted his head...

Soldier: And he shouted “I'm the king of the world!!!”

Soldier: The rest...was all a mess. Then he ran off, laughing.

Soldier: The kids cried...the women blushed but stared...I'm starting to get really tired of living a proper life.

Mash: Please get a hold of yourself. It's okay. Please live a proper life!

Soldier: You think so? I feel like I'm in an illusion and hallucination at the same time...

Soldier: See? There's a little girl up ahead...

Soldier: Oh, so it was an illusion.

Astolfo: Aw, c'mon. A little hallucination now and then is no big deal! People get to keep on having fun after they lose their sense of reason, too!

Mash: We absolutely need to stop this rampage!

Mash: Astolfo, we need to stop the perv–I mean, Roland!

Astolfo: Got it! ...Wait a minute. I thought the plan was to get him to join us?

Astolfo: Oh well!

Fujimaru 1: That's not good.

Astolfo: He came through the city. Where could he have gone?

Astolfo: Oh, footprints!

Mash: I'll analyze them.

Mash: The print isn't from a shoe. It's from a bare foot.

Mash: ...There's only one person crazy enough to walk a wasteland barefoot...

Astolfo: Roland! Okay! Let's get to trackin'!

Astolfo: I feel like we're playing a game of boy scouts! If Geronimo was here, he'd give us some big fancy lecture about tracking and the land or...something...

Astolfo: 'Course, then I'd forget it about a minute later!

Astolfo: The footprints continue this way... This way... Turn this way... He climbed a tree...

Astolfo: Stole a bird egg... Ate it...

Astolfo: Ouch! I-I won't steal, okay!?

Astolfo: Afterward, he wasn't satisfied with just one egg... He wandered around...fought a wyvern..

Astolfo: Then ate it...

Mash: He ate it!?

Astolfo: Raw, too.

Mash: Raw!?

Astolfo: And then afterward, he got food poisoning from eating the raw wyvern, and he threw up right here.

Mash: Master! This is not encouraging!

Fujimaru 1: Just a little bit further...

Mash: Y-yes. As your navigator, I'll stick with you till the very end!

Fujimaru 2: Keep at it.

Mash: Oh...Master's getting discouraged too. A little more...let's stick to it a little bit more...!

Astolfo: So...

Astolfo: Theeen he stepped all over his own vomit, then he staggered along...

Astolfo: And then he went to sleep sulking for just a bit. Hey, do you think it feels nice, sleeping naked on the ground like that?

Mash: This is like a strange geoglyph, isn't it?

Astolfo: But then...a wild horse came rushing toward him from the side...

Astolfo: And it kicked Roland's back. Oh, his mouth's bleeding a little.

Mash: I have no more energy to comment on this. Master, I leave the rest to you.

Fujimaru 1: I don't want to do that!

Fujimaru 2: I thought you were supposed to play the straight man!

Mash: But...

Astolfo: And then Roland stood up. He called for the horse's owner!

Astolfo: And then he got into an argument. Roland was so angry...

Astolfo: He choked the owner and tossed him under this tree...

Soldier: H-how irrational...

Mash: Yet another victim.

Astolfo: And then Roland mounted the horse... Everything was going fine for a while...

Astolfo: But then he realized that riding a horse naked and bareback causes various areas to start hurting...and so he dismounted.

H:Horse: Neeeighhh. Brrrgh.

Mash: So it really does hurt?

Astolfo: Why not try it yourself? Naked.

Mash: Absolutely not.

Astolfo: A shame. By the way, mister horse, do you know where the naked guy who rode you went?

H:Horse: Neeeigh!

Astolfo: He said, “Follow me.”

Mash: So we're finally going to meet him. body's trembling...

Astolfo: ...There! There he is!

Astolfo: I finally found you, Roland!

Mash: Master, I'm starting to get embarrassed! I'm not fine!

???: are...are you by chance Astolfo?

Mash: Oh, oh! Clothes! He's wearing clothes! I'm so relieved!

Astolfo: Yeah...yeah it's me, Roland! I'm glad! I'm glad I could pick you out because you're wearing clothes!

Astolfo: If you were naked, I probably wouldn't have recognized your face!

Roland: Th-that cheerfully dumb child... You really are Astolfo!

Astolfo: Hey, it's been a while. How've you been?

Astolfo: Oh, let me introduce you! This is my Master.

Fujimaru 1: Hello...

Fujimaru 2: I heard so much about you from Astolfo.

Astolfo: And this is Master's other Servant...she's a navigator for us now. Her name's Mash!

Mash: I'm Mash Kyrielight. I serve as a navigator for Master in Chaldea.

Mash: P-pleased to meet you.

Roland: ...

Mash: ...

Roland: ...

Mash: ...

Mash: Master, Master. He's looking at me. He's...really staring!

Fujimaru 1: B-be patient.

Fujimaru 2: It'll be okay.

Roland: You said your name is Mash Kyrielight.

Mash: Y-yes.

Roland: What a beautiful name... Fitting for someone as beautiful as you...

Mash: Eh, um...thank you very much.

Roland: The moon out tonight is...beautiful...

Mash: !?

Astolfo: Eh?

Fujimaru 1: Wh-what was that?

Fujimaru 2: Could it be...?

Mash: I-I-I-I have no idea!

Mash: I'm not sure if those were romantic words or...I really don't have any experience with that!

Astolfo: Roland's waiting for a response. He's even prostrating himself!

Fujimaru 1: Beautiful...what a beautiful way he bows...

Fujimaru 2: Mash. The gentleman is waiting. Answer him.

Mash: M-my apologies... I'm very sorry, but...

Mash: Men who like to be naked...are not really my...

Roland: ...

Astolfo: Oh, he stood up. Hey, don't get discouraged just because you got rejected by a girl!

Astolfo: Although...people fall for me all the time so I've never been rejected!

Roland: WHAAAAAA...!??

Roland: If that' it is...then let's all die together!!! Together!!!

Mash: Eh, together!?

Roland: Yes! This will be like Romeo and Juliet! Oh Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo!?

Mash: Wrong role!

Roland: Now, if you can hand me my Juliet, Master Romeo!

Roland: Fufu...fufufu...fuhahahahaha!

Mash: ...!

Mash: Master! He is not Roland!

Mash: To be clear, he's just lingering emotions Roland left behind...a remnant...

Mash: Anyway, he's a fake! That's such a relief!

Astolfo: Hmmm, so we're gonna have to fight, huh? Well, if he's a fake, it can't be helped! (Nobbu!)

Astolfo: Okay, Master! I'm going to win...for Mash's sake!

Fujimaru 1: Got it. Don't leave anything behind.

Fujimaru 2: Let's do it. It's going to regret ever being born.

Astolfo: Okay. I'm gonna pull out all the stops!

Astolfo: Come on, Hippogriff! Master's cheering you on! Let's give it our all!

Mash: I'm counting on you, Master!


Roland-ish Thing: Regret...! Nothing but regret!!!

Astolfo: Roland...

Roland-ish Thing: Unnnnggh... At least...before I die...I wanted to...

Roland-ish Thing: ...Expose everything...

Astolfo: Even his evil ghost is saying that!? THAT'S your last wish!? Ahahaha! And that's why Roland's hilarious!

Astolfo: I bet even our king would laugh himself silly if he saw you!

Mash: By king, you mean...?

Astolfo: Charlemagne, of course! Now that I think about it... I wonder why he hasn't been summoned yet either...

Astolfo: Me, Roland, the king... One day I'd like to fight alongside them!

Astolfo: Okay! Anyway, we saw Roland! Kinda! And once he gets summoned properly, we can see him again!

Astolfo: But my Astolfo sense tells me that if we meet, it'll be in a REALLY dumb situation!

Astolfo: Sorry for all the hassle, Master. Now, let's go home!