Astolfo
While Waiting for Roland
Astolfo:
Yahoo! Master!
We're gonna go on an adventure!!!
Mash:
...?
Astolfo? Where are you going?
Astolfo:
To France!
I thought I'd pay Roland a visit.
Mash:
...Um.
I don't think Roland is around in 1431...
Astolfo:
It's okay! All we gotta do is wander around France,
and I'm sure he'll get summoned one of these days!
Astolfo:
Now let's go, go, go!!!
Mash:
H-hey, don't be so pushy!
Astolfo:
Here...we...goooooo!!!
Mash:
Senpai...Senpaaai!!!
Astolfo:
...
Astolfo:
...
Astolfo:
Sorry! I'm lost!
Fujimaru 1:
Called it.
Fujimaru 2:
I kinda figured.
Mash:
Master. If you knew this would happen,
you should have said something earlier.
Mash:
I guess there's nothing to be done now. Fortunately, you have camping supplies, so I suggest you spend the night in the forest.
Astolfo:
Yay!!! Camping! Camping!
Hey, do you have curry?
Astolfo:
Curry! Curry!
Mash:
...Um, if you're a Servant,
you don't need to eat...
Astolfo:
Ehhh?
Fujimaru 1:
It's fine. Here you go.
Fujimaru 2:
Let's eat together.
Astolfo:
Yay! Thank you Master!
Then make mine an extra large curry!
Astolfo:
More! Mooore!
Fujimaru 1:
Here you go.
Astolfo:
Thanks!
Mash:
I think you're spoiling Astolfo too much, Senpai.
Fujimaru 1:
You think so?
Mash:
I do.
Fujimaru 2:
Then I'll spoil you when we get back, Mash!
Mash:
Eh? Me!?
Um...well...no...you mustn't...
Mash:
Um, but if you insist,
I shall gratefully...
Astolfo:
Master, Master! More!!!
Mash:
Again!?
Astolfo:
Whew! I ate a lot!
I'm stuffed!
Mash:
Master. You are out of emergency rations.
You'll need to purchase food in town tomorrow...
Astolfo:
Okay, then I'm going to sleep to prepare for tomorrow. Good night!
Astolfo:
...Zzzzzz.
Mash:
That was fast, Master.
Astolfo just fell asleep in the middle of a sentence.
Fujimaru 1:
Just like a child.
Fujimaru 2:
Some kids act like that.
Mash:
Is that true?
I've never met any children like that in Chaldea.
Mash:
Oh, but I remembered something.
It was when I first met you, Senpai...
Astolfo:
Ahhh! What a refreshing morning!
...Huh? What's wrong?
Mash:
N-nothing. I just didn't get enough sleep.
It's okay. It shouldn't affect us in combat.
Astolfo:
Ahaha. Master, you look sleepy too.
Well, let's head off!
Astolfo:
Where could Roland be?
Mash:
In conditions like this, I sincerely doubt a Servant could be summoned easily...
Astolfo:
I guess so...
Fujimaru 1:
Is Roland your lover?
Fujimaru 2:
Is Roland your boyfriend?
Astolfo:
Roland?
Hahahaha! That's a riot!
Astolfo:
That guy...he's no good, Master.
He's good-looking, but he's bad inside.
Astolfo:
...No. That's not the word. He's not bad on the inside. Hmmm... To put it in today's terms, he's...disappointing?
Astolfo:
No matter how good someone looks, you'd still kinda judge 'em if they ran around town naked, right?
Astolfo:
Roland does that! Happily, even! It's practically a hobby! He'll just run around buck naked!
Astolfo:
That's just the kinda guy he is,
so prolly not really “lover” material, y'know?
Mash:
...It's true. According to legend,
Roland stripped his clothes off, mad with grief.
Mash:
But I didn't think he really ran around...
Astolfo:
Ayup. That's cause after that, he'd get naked every chance he had. Said he got hooked on it. Hooked!
Fujimaru 1:
Stripping?
Fujimaru 2:
Hooked?
Mash:
(Did he have a mental breakdown...?)
Astolfo:
Anyway, let's go look for some enemies.
My Astolfo-sense is telling me that fort looks suspicious!
Mash:
Huh...
Astolfo is always so pushy...
Mash:
But if Roland ever joined us, I feel he would be a great asset. Let's do our best to find him.
Astolfo:
Yep! He'd for sure be dependable, you've got the Astolfo guarantee on that! Other stuff...not so much.
Fou:
Fou.
Mash:
It seems like Fou is also concerned...or at least that's what I'm getting from that response.
Astolfo:
By the way, I'm curious about something.
Hey, Mash.
Mash:
Yes? What is it?
Astolfo:
Are you okay seeing naked men?
Mash:
!
Mash:
I-I-I-I...I suppose.
I've never seen one, but I should be okay...
Mash:
I-it is through the filter of a screen, too.
Mash:
I-I-I-I think it should be okay. Yes. It'll be fine.
I have a little knowledge about those things.
Mash:
I'll be fine. I'll be ready. As long as you let me mentally prepare, it'll be totally fine.
Astolfo:
Oh, good!
Mash:
Yes. Please rest assured...somewhat.
Astolfo:
...Master. I'm betting Mash will scream.
What about you?
Fujimaru 1:
I'm all in for screaming.
Fujimaru 2:
There's nothing to bet on.
Mash:
I-I'll be fine! Totally!
I'll definitely probably be okay!
Astolfo:
We've arrived!
Hey, you guys there.
Soldier:
...Hm? What?
Astolfo:
You're looking kinda tired.
Everything okay?
Soldier:
...It's complicated. This old man is considering quitting the soldiering life and go home...
Astolfo:
Really? Then, good work! Hey by the way,
did you see a naked handsome guy running around?
Soldier:
...A naked...handsome guy?
Astolfo:
Yep!
Soldier:
A guy with a bright smile, but he looks a bit dumb,
but at the same is stupid strong...that handsome guy?
Astolfo:
Yep, that's the one.
We're looking for him!
Soldier:
I see...you're looking for him?
I see, I see. Hey, everyone!
Soldier:
Some friends of that naked jackass are here!
Get 'em!
Astolfo:
Eh...eh!?
Wh-what, why!?
Soldier:
No questions asked!
Cock-a-doodle-doo! Arrrf! Wooof!!!
Mash:
What exactly happened to anger those men so much!?
What did this Roland do!?
Mash:
A-anyway, Astolfo!
We need to calm them down!
Astolfo:
I know, I know! I'll give 'em what for and that'll calm 'em right down! Astolfo PUNCH!
Mash:
Well...um, I can't argue with that... Anyway,
please strike with the flat of the blade, Master!
--BATTLE--:
Soldier:
Why you...I curse you for the nakedness...ungh.
Astolfo:
Whew.
I worked up a good sweat.
Mash:
Mine was cold sweat...
Astolfo:
Um, the first guys...yeah, this guy!
Hey! Are you okay?
Soldier:
Y-yeah... (Gasp) Wh-who the hell are you guys?
And why're you so strong?
Astolfo:
So tell me. Roland...I mean the naked guy...do you know where he is?
Soldier:
He ran wild in that fort and then disappeared...
All we wanted to do was to put clothes on him...
Astolfo:
That is...I can only say I'm sorry.
I am pretty sure he didn't not mean to do any harm.
Mash:
You need to find him, Astolfo.
Soldier:
Oh, and when he jumped up, he pressed his crotch on my face... I'm scarred...forever...
Astolfo:
Hey! You gotta say stuff like that earlier!
I put my face right next to yours!!!
Soldier:
Terrible...
Astolfo:
Don't cry!
Now I'm getting sad, too!
Fujimaru 1:
Wanna go home?
Fujimaru 2:
Let's retreat.
Mash:
N-no. If Roland is out there, running amok,
then that's a problem we need to fix.
Mash:
Let's at least resolve this problem.
Astolfo:
Y-yeah. I'll do my best!
So please don't abandon me, Master!
Astolfo:
Hmmm...I haven't heard any screams...yet.
Mash:
I'm worried about how all these citizens have this thousand yard stare...
Mash:
They all look like they saw something no one should ever see.
Astolfo:
I'm sure it's just a Demon King or something. Probably. Let's ask around.
Mash:
I have a bad feeling about this...
Astolfo:
Hey, soldier. Mind answering a question?
See a naked guy running around the streets here?
Soldier:
...Naked. Guy.
This. Road. Straight. Go.
Soldier:
I. Lead. Way. Follow. Me.
Astolfo:
Really? Yay, a clue!
Let's go, Master!
Mash:
Aren't you the least bit suspicious about what that man said!? W-wait just a moment!
Astolfo:
Hm. Hey soldier.
Where's the naked guy?
Soldier:
You. Friends. That. Guy.
Mash:
N-no, that's not...
Astolfo:
Um, technically I am.
Mash:
Fou!
Fou:
Fou!?
Mash:
I'm sorry! I couldn't help it! It just slipped out!
Fou, I'm sorry!
Soldier:
Fufufu. This. Grudge. Must. Not. Ignore.
Astolfo:
Uwaa! They're attacking!
What the heck? We were tricked!
Mash:
Not tricked, really. I knew they would attack.
Of course they would!
--BATTLE--:
Astolfo:
Whew. We beat them.
They were so pale, I thought they were zombies!
Mash:
They seemed that way because of those dead fish eyes of theirs...
Soldier:
Ungh...
So what the heck was he...?
Astolfo:
What did he do to you guys?
Soldier:
I scolded him because he was naked.
Then he got violent...
Soldier:
He even climbed onto the two hundred year old statue of our town's saint...and he mounted his head...
Soldier:
And he shouted
“I'm the king of the world!!!”
Soldier:
The rest...was all a mess.
Then he ran off, laughing.
Soldier:
The kids cried...the women blushed but stared...I'm starting to get really tired of living a proper life.
Mash:
Please get a hold of yourself.
It's okay. Please live a proper life!
Soldier:
You think so? I feel like I'm in an illusion and hallucination at the same time...
Soldier:
See? There's a little girl up ahead...
Soldier:
Oh, so it was an illusion.
Astolfo:
Aw, c'mon. A little hallucination now and then is no big deal! People get to keep on having fun after they lose their sense of reason, too!
Mash:
We absolutely need to stop this rampage!
Mash:
Astolfo, we need to stop the perv–I mean, Roland!
Astolfo:
Got it! ...Wait a minute.
I thought the plan was to get him to join us?
Astolfo:
Oh well!
Fujimaru 1:
That's not good.
Astolfo:
He came through the city.
Where could he have gone?
Astolfo:
Oh, footprints!
Mash:
I'll analyze them.
Mash:
The print isn't from a shoe.
It's from a bare foot.
Mash:
...There's only one person crazy enough to walk a wasteland barefoot...
Astolfo:
Roland! Okay!
Let's get to trackin'!
Astolfo:
I feel like we're playing a game of boy scouts! If Geronimo was here, he'd give us some big fancy lecture about tracking and the land or...something...
Astolfo:
'Course, then I'd forget it about a minute later!
Astolfo:
The footprints continue this way... This way...
Turn this way... He climbed a tree...
Astolfo:
Stole a bird egg...
Ate it...
Astolfo:
Ouch!
I-I won't steal, okay!?
Astolfo:
Afterward, he wasn't satisfied with just one egg...
He wandered around...fought a wyvern..
Astolfo:
Then ate it...
Mash:
He ate it!?
Astolfo:
Raw, too.
Mash:
Raw!?
Astolfo:
And then afterward, he got food poisoning from eating the raw wyvern, and he threw up right here.
Mash:
Master!
This is not encouraging!
Fujimaru 1:
Just a little bit further...
Mash:
Y-yes. As your navigator,
I'll stick with you till the very end!
Fujimaru 2:
Keep at it.
Mash:
Oh...Master's getting discouraged too.
A little more...let's stick to it a little bit more...!
Astolfo:
So...
Astolfo:
Theeen he stepped all over his own vomit,
then he staggered along...
Astolfo:
And then he went to sleep sulking for just a bit.
Hey, do you think it feels nice, sleeping naked on the ground like that?
Mash:
This is like a strange geoglyph, isn't it?
Astolfo:
But then...a wild horse came rushing toward him from the side...
Astolfo:
And it kicked Roland's back.
Oh, his mouth's bleeding a little.
Mash:
I have no more energy to comment on this.
Master, I leave the rest to you.
Fujimaru 1:
I don't want to do that!
Fujimaru 2:
I thought you were supposed to play the straight man!
Mash:
But...
Astolfo:
And then Roland stood up.
He called for the horse's owner!
Astolfo:
And then he got into an argument.
Roland was so angry...
Astolfo:
He choked the owner and tossed him under this tree...
Soldier:
H-how irrational...
Mash:
Yet another victim.
Astolfo:
And then Roland mounted the horse...
Everything was going fine for a while...
Astolfo:
But then he realized that riding a horse naked and bareback causes various areas to start hurting...and so he dismounted.
H：Horse:
Neeeighhh.
Brrrgh.
Mash:
So it really does hurt?
Astolfo:
Why not try it yourself?
Naked.
Mash:
Absolutely not.
Astolfo:
A shame. By the way, mister horse,
do you know where the naked guy who rode you went?
H：Horse:
Neeeigh!
Astolfo:
He said, “Follow me.”
Mash:
So we're finally going to meet him.
Hnnn...my body's trembling...
Astolfo:
...There! There he is!
Astolfo:
I finally found you, Roland!
Mash:
Master, I'm starting to get embarrassed!
I'm not fine!
???:
O-ooohhh...you are...are you by chance Astolfo?
Mash:
Oh, oh! Clothes! He's wearing clothes!
I'm so relieved!
Astolfo:
Yeah...yeah it's me, Roland! I'm glad! I'm glad I could pick you out because you're wearing clothes!
Astolfo:
If you were naked, I probably wouldn't have recognized your face!
Roland:
Th-that cheerfully dumb child...
You really are Astolfo!
Astolfo:
Hey, it's been a while.
How've you been?
Astolfo:
Oh, let me introduce you!
This is my Master.
Fujimaru 1:
Hello...
Fujimaru 2:
I heard so much about you from Astolfo.
Astolfo:
And this is Master's other Servant...she's a navigator for us now. Her name's Mash!
Mash:
I'm Mash Kyrielight.
I serve as a navigator for Master in Chaldea.
Mash:
P-pleased to meet you.
Roland:
...
Mash:
...
Roland:
...
Mash:
...
Mash:
Master, Master.
He's looking at me. He's...really staring!
Fujimaru 1:
B-be patient.
Fujimaru 2:
It'll be okay.
Roland:
You said your name is Mash Kyrielight.
Mash:
Y-yes.
Roland:
What a beautiful name...
Fitting for someone as beautiful as you...
Mash:
Eh, um...thank you very much.
Roland:
The moon out tonight is...beautiful...
Mash:
!?
Astolfo:
Eh?
Fujimaru 1:
Wh-what was that?
Fujimaru 2:
Could it be...?
Mash:
I-I-I-I have no idea!
Mash:
I'm not sure if those were romantic words or...I really don't have any experience with that!
Astolfo:
Roland's waiting for a response.
He's even prostrating himself!
Fujimaru 1:
Beautiful...what a beautiful way he bows...
Fujimaru 2:
Mash. The gentleman is waiting. Answer him.
Mash:
M-my apologies...
I'm very sorry, but...
Mash:
Men who like to be naked...are not really my...
Roland:
...
Astolfo:
Oh, he stood up. Hey, don't get discouraged just because you got rejected by a girl!
Astolfo:
Although...people fall for me all the time so I've never been rejected!
Roland:
WHAAAAAA...!??
Roland:
If that's...how it is...then let's all die together!!!
Together!!!
Mash:
Eh, together!?
Roland:
Yes! This will be like Romeo and Juliet!
Oh Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo!?
Mash:
Wrong role!
Roland:
Now, if you can hand me my Juliet, Master Romeo!
Roland:
Fufu...fufufu...fuhahahahaha!
Mash:
...!
Mash:
Master! He is not Roland!
Mash:
To be clear, he's just lingering emotions Roland left behind...a remnant...
Mash:
Anyway, he's a fake!
That's such a relief!
Astolfo:
Hmmm, so we're gonna have to fight, huh?
Well, if he's a fake, it can't be helped! (Nobbu!)
Astolfo:
Okay, Master!
I'm going to win...for Mash's sake!
Fujimaru 1:
Got it. Don't leave anything behind.
Fujimaru 2:
Let's do it. It's going to regret ever being born.
Astolfo:
Okay.
I'm gonna pull out all the stops!
Astolfo:
Come on, Hippogriff!
Master's cheering you on! Let's give it our all!
Mash:
I'm counting on you, Master!
--BATTLE--:
Roland-ish Thing:
Regret...!
Nothing but regret!!!
Astolfo:
Roland...
Roland-ish Thing:
Unnnnggh...
At least...before I die...I wanted to...
Roland-ish Thing:
...Expose everything...
Astolfo:
Even his evil ghost is saying that!? THAT'S your last wish!? Ahahaha! And that's why Roland's hilarious!
Astolfo:
I bet even our king would laugh himself silly if he saw you!
Mash:
By king, you mean...?
Astolfo:
Charlemagne, of course! Now that I think about it...
I wonder why he hasn't been summoned yet either...
Astolfo:
Me, Roland, the king...
One day I'd like to fight alongside them!
Astolfo:
Okay! Anyway, we saw Roland! Kinda! And once he gets summoned properly, we can see him again!
Astolfo:
But my Astolfo sense tells me that if we meet,
it'll be in a REALLY dumb situation!
Astolfo:
Sorry for all the hassle, Master.
Now, let's go home!