Billy the Kid

Seven Knights of the Wasteland

Billy: This is a hypothetical question.

Billy: Say you were asked to protect a town, even if your chances of surviving were...uh, low.

Billy: Tons of powerful, heavily armed enemies and you've got some scrounged up gear and just about no allies.

Billy: Would you fight, even without a reward? Or would you not?

Fujimaru 1: Fight.

Billy: Your bravery always impresses me.

Fujimaru 2: Protect.

Billy: Yeah, you always have the right answers.

Billy: After you.

Scoundrel: You bastard!

Scoundrel: Oww...ow!!

Billy: With a hand that slow, nobody would hire you as a gunman. Well, might as well do some honest work. Who knows, good things might happen!

Mash: Look how he moves. I never imagined the human body could move so quickly...

Da Vinci: The best quickdraw in the West, a move so great, it's almost legendary.

Da Vinci: I'd like to see that for myself someday.

Billy: Um...Master? Master, do you have a minute?

Fujimaru 1: What's wrong?

Billy: I just got some news at a saloon. Seems like this town's getting targeted.

Fujimaru 2: Sure!

Billy: Haha, my Master's sure upbeat!

Billy: Anyway. I hear that this town's getting targeted.

Mash: whom?

Billy: Bandits, scoundrels. Like that lot we encountered earlier. Spooked the sheriff and now he's useless.

Billy: And the townspeople are afraid to go out. I wanna help them. That's not a bad thing, right?

Fujimaru 1: I think that's great.

Billy: Oh, okay! Then let's do it!

Fujimaru 2: Unforgiven!

Billy: I knew my Master'd be up for anything! I'm really starting to like you!

Mash: Senpai, I don't know if you should have accepted this task so lightly. You should at least have asked how many you're going up against...

Billy: Oh, I don't know either. Hold on. I'll go ask.

Mash: Protecting this town from scoundrels... (Gasp) This is a standard setup for a Western movie!

Mash: Oh my...what a very cowboy-ish setting, Master!

Fujimaru 1: Do you like that sorta thing?

Mash: Um, well, not exactly... But there were books about it in the library, and I got engrossed in the story...

Fujimaru 2: You seem to know a lot.

Mash: Yes, there were Westerns in the library, so I studied them as if they were classic stories.

Billy: Hey Master, Master! I asked around to see how many there are.

Mash: So how many are there?

Billy: About a thousand.

Mash: 1,000. I see. It's a typical Western setting– Ehhh!? A THOUSAND!?

Billy: Master, give me your binoculars. Okay, I see them... Hey, isn't that...!?

Da Vinci: Hmmm. It appears that your opponent has hired a bunch of leftover Celtic soldiers.

Mash: Impossible...that army should have disappeared when Queen Medb was defeated!

Da Vinci: They've been summoned to this time and place before, and the area is still very unstable in space time.

Da Vinci: With a bit of coincidence and sheer luck, they could very well be summoned again by employing the proper technique.

Da Vinci: That said, it would be impossible for an amateur with no knowledge of magecraft to just pull off a freak summoning out of nowhere. Which means...

Billy: The other side has a mage, too...or someone like that.

Da Vinci: Naturally. That's what worries me.

Billy: One thousand Celtic soldiers...that's quite the number.

Mash: Master! Take a look at this!

Fujimaru 1: This can't be...

Fujimaru 2: A Servant signature?

Mash: Yes! It appears that numerous Servants are getting summoned as countermeasures.

Da Vinci: I can't believe that many Heroic Spirits are willing to come. Maybe they're spoiling for a fight. Or they're just natural heroes down to their core.

Da Vinci: Well, doesn't matter. We'll take all the help we can get.

Da Vinci: We'll operate as if we're fixing a Singularity, Fujimaru. Explain to the Servants and ask them for help.

Billy: Haha, Master! This is really turning into a Western!

Fujimaru 1: Teamwork!

Billy: Roger that, Master! All right, let's do this!

Fujimaru 2: Gunfight at the corral!

Billy: Haha, okay, Master! You'll get front row seats to watch how I handle my guns!

D:???: Listen up...that town ahead has tons of people, food, and gold.

D:???: ...Take them all. Loot everything you can find.

Celtic Soldier: Yeah!!!

D:???: We are hungry wolves. We are beasts who only know how to fight and eat.

D:???: That's fine. If we don't do so, we can't lay our roots down on this continent.

D:???: Steal the leylines and make this grand continent our own. No gun or sword is a match for you.

D:???: Now, go!

D:???: Use this place as a base so our clan can prosper once again!

Celtic Soldier: Reporting! A hundred of our front line soldiers have been annihilated.

D:???: I see that our enemy is quite the adversary.

D:???: ...

D:???: What!?

Celtic Soldier: Our enemies also have Servants.

D:???: ...

D:???: Servants...why you...!

Narration: Let's wind the clock back a bit here.

Billy: And so, in order to protect this town from a thousand Celtic bandits, I need everyone's help!

B:???: Hahaha! So it's Thermopylae once again! That does get me fired up!

Leonidas: I, Leonidas I, shall offer my shield in protection of this town!

Leonidas: Any one Servant is a match for a thousand soldiers, and we have seven. There's nothing to fear!

C:???: No wonder Servants who are experts in defense got summoned.

Hektor: But do you think this old man will be useful in this modern world?

Hektor: Either way, I got it. Hektor of Troy... I ask that you don't overwork me.

D:???: Bandits are oppression. That means this town is being oppressed right now!

Spartacus: It is my duty to destroy all oppressors!

E:???: Understood, agreed, and ready to succeed! Defense may not be my forte, but leave surprising the enemy and sowing chaos in their ranks to me!

Mephistopheles: For I am Mephistopheles! I shall spread the joy of confusion to the enemies!

Mephistopheles: Ah, despair is so delicious!

F:???: Assignment accepted. I can see why we were called, as many enemies as there are.

Hundred Personas: Hmph. As long as you have Hassan of the Hundred Personas, I shall fill out our numbers to match theirs!

Hundred Personas: Admittedly, protecting a town is not the typical duty of an assassin, but it's not as if I have no experience in doing such a thing.

G:???: Well, summoning me makes sense, at least.

Diarmuid: I, Diarmuid Ua Duibhne, have apparently run amok in this land before.

Diarmuid: But that was as an enemy. I would like to wield my dual lances as an ally this time.

Diarmuid: ...Amazing. A handful of heroes facing off against a horde or enemies... This is what I've waited for!

Diarmuid: Master! What is your command!? I shall paint this entire battlefield red with blood!

Billy: Wow, I didn't think everyone would agree to join!

Fujimaru 1: That's good.

Billy: They may say otherwise, but they're all softies at heart. After all, there's nothing to gain from this.

Fujimaru 2: It's all thanks to Billy running around.

Billy: You think so? Heh. That's flattering if it's true.

Mash: Mash Kyrielight shall help you all by navigating for you!

Mash: I will immediately inform you all if there are any changes in the town.

Billy: All right. Let's start by evacuating everyone in the town.

Billy: We're going to take them to the cave inside a forest nearby. I've already spoken to the sheriff.

Hundred Personas: Then we shall be in charge of leading the way. We do have a Hassan persona who is good at organizing lines.

Diarmuid: ...It's true. Fighting on the front line is not the only way to do it. Miss Hassan has the role of establishing communication with everyone.

Diarmuid: It's not as exciting or glorious, but I will also accompany Miss Hassan. We need to avoid getting attacked from both sides.

Fujimaru 1: Thanks, you two!

Both: Roger that!

Billy: Think about it, Master. We now have seven reliable Servants.

Billy: Let's start with the enemy's front line!


Leonidas: The enemies were spineless! How careless of them to put such weaklings on the front lines!

Leonidas: However, there are still more. We should rest up while we have the chance.

Hektor: Hey, good work.

Hektor: This is probably going to be a drawn-out battle, so Master, you should rest a bit.

Hektor: Those are proper Celtic soldiers out there. They're quite the adversary considering how many there are.

Hundred Personas: Master, I have my report for you: evacuation of the townspeople is not yet complete.

Hundred Personas: We've gotten about forty percent out. I'm impressed with how well Diarmuid has handled the women...

Hundred Personas: But there are still children and the elderly. It won't be easy evacuating them all.

Billy: Master! They're here! More incoming!

Diarmuid: The two of us will put the evacuations on hold for now and join you in battle.

Fujimaru 1: Thanks, Diarmuid!

Diarmuid: Leave it to me!

Fujimaru 2: Billy, are you ready!?

Billy: Of course! I'm done reloading my gun. Now, come at us, invaders!

Billy: This'll be like a shooting gallery!


Hundred Personas: Next report. Good news: half of the town's population has been evacuated. However...

Hundred Personas: We have eagle-eyed enemies. Some of the Celts are trying to sneak ahead and ambush them.

Hundred Personas: Spartacus is intercepting their attacks and Mephistopheles is confusing the enemy to hold them back.

Hundred Personas: Still, it looks like the evacuees in the rear will come under attack.

Leonidas: Master. Leave this area to us! Please prioritize the evacuees!

Hektor: Get going, Master and Billy! This is the path that you two have chosen to take!

Billy: ...Okay! Master! Mount your horse! We're going together!

Fujimaru 1: Got it!


Mash: There's still so many townspeople left...!


Billy: Crap, Spartacus is getting pinned down!

Celtic Soldier: Huh?

Mephistopheles: Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. Ahhh, watching an explosion is always so exciting!

Mash: The townspeople are spooked by Mephistopheles, and they've slowed down even more...

Billy: Okay. Master, what should we do!?

Fujimaru 1: Rescue Spartacus!

Billy: Okay, Master. BANG! BANG! BANG!

Fujimaru 2: Fight alongside Mephistopheles!

Billy: Okay, Master. BANG! BANG! BANG!


Billy: Master, give me the bandolier I handed you earlier!

Billy: Thanks! Okay! Let's keep going!

Mash: !

Mash: There are some Celtic soldiers trying to attack the evacuees! Please do something!

Billy: Why you...!

Billy: Crap...I misfired...!

Spartacus: Hahahaha! I shall be the anvil against which our oppressors are crushed!

Mash: Spartacus!

Spartacus: My going to explode!

Celtic Soldier: Wha...!?

Spartacus: Oppression will not be suffered to continue... Now die...knowing that truth...!

Mash: Spartacus has disappeared while taking in the Celtic Soldiers around him...

Fujimaru 1: Damn...

Billy: I'm sorry. It was my mistake.

Mephistopheles: No. We were just unlucky. And you know, if you think that was as bad as things get...

Mephistopheles: ...then there's nowhere to go from here but up! Okay, here's another bomb!

Hundred Personas: We have about eighty percent of the civilians evacuated. Just a little bit more.

Diarmuid: Ungh...these are...!

Mash: Detecting two giant enemies right next to Diarmuid. A chimera and a Spriggan!

Mash: I didn't think those were still around...!

Billy: It just means that the Incineration of Humanity left that much of a mark here! Let's rescue everyone!


Diarmuid: You saved us, my lord...!

Fujimaru 1: Don't worry about it!

Mash: Master! I'm still picking up the chimera!

Diarmuid: Please stand back!

Diarmuid: Ungh...nnnnnggggh!

Diarmuid: Twin spears!

Billy: Diarmuid!

Diarmuid: ...It seems this is the end for me. I leave the rest to you...

Fujimaru 1: ...Okay.

Diarmuid: I have regrets...but...this isn't...that bad...

Fujimaru 2: ...Good work.

Diarmuid: Hahahaha, I only did what is expected of a Servant. Thank you, Master.

Diarmuid: Though it was brief, I'm glad to have fought alongside you...

Billy: ...Let's go, Master!

Mash: There are no more giant enemy responses. Let's move forward!


Fujimaru 1: Mash, how are Hektor and the others doing!?

Mash: The Celts have broken through the barricade!

Mash: Leonidas is still holding them off, but he won't last much longer...!

Leonidas: All right! It seems this is the end for me!

Leonidas: Sir Hektor, this will be my final effort, so let us activate our Noble Phantasms together!

Hektor: Tch. I got the short end of the stick here. I'd rather trade places with you, Leonidas.

Leonidas: Hahahaha. Unfortunately, the rear guard in battle is what truly makes a fight shine. I cannot trade places with you now!

Hektor: ...It was an honor to have fought alongside you, Guardian of the Hot Gate.

Leonidas: And you, Sir Hektor of the Shining Helmet. It was a great honor...!

Hektor: Let's go...Durindana! Blow 'em away!

Mash: I've...lost Leonidas's signal... Hektor is still okay.

Hundred Personas: Everyone has been evacuated! We'll hold the enemy back so they don't chase after the civilians!

Mephistopheles: I shall string them along and toy with them! Ahhh, blowing them up will give me such a thrill!

Fujimaru 1: ...I'm counting on you, Hassan.

Hundred Personas: Why the sudden formality? It was always going to go like this. I was ready for this.

Hundred Personas: Now, there are only ten of us. Just don't make this a losing battle for us, Master!

Fujimaru 2: Thank you, Mephisto.

Mephistopheles: What are you talking about, my little Rabbit!? I simply wanted to explode my bombs. And you simply wanted to protect the town.

Mephistopheles: Isn't this a win-win situation?

Hundred Personas: Don't just stand there, Mephistopheles! To battle!

Mephistopheles: Okay! It's time for our final stand! Take care, you guys!

Billy: Okay, Master! Let's go. Let's leave this place to them!

Hundred Personas: So?

Mephistopheles: Oh? Whatever do you mean by “so”?

Hundred Personas: How many bombs do you have left? Aren't you running low?

Mephistopheles: Ah. Well, this may be a surprise, but I have a great many hidden pockets!

Mephistopheles: One...two...three... I have a total of five more.

Hundred Personas: And when you run out of those, our only option will be a suicide attack. An Assassin relying on a suicide attack... Ugh, how mortifying.

Hundred Personas: If this reached the ears of the First One, I'm sure to get a lecture more terrifying than death itself!

Mephistopheles: Ah, but our destiny is to gloriously bloom and scatter like flower petals. And that means we just need to go out with a BANG!

Mephistopheles: Let's go out in the flashiest way.

Hundred Personas: Unbelievable. I envy the jester his carelessness. Well, I suppose neither of us ever look back!

Billy: Hektor!

Hektor: Hey, Billy. I just set off the final trap.

Hektor: It's a simple oil barrel, but I bought enough time to chat. Are all the civilians evacuated?

Billy: A chase is inevitable, but don't worry about that for now.

Hektor: All right... This town is isolated and it stretches narrowly from north to south. Setting up a front line here to defend it wasn't an option.

Hektor: But now that the townspeople are gone, it's a different story. This old man is ready to go wild.

Hektor: You just need to hurry over and deal with the enemy's boss with Master.

Billy: Whoa, that's a big responsibility.

Hektor: No role is insignificant in this situation. So which is it? Are you going to do it, or not?

Fujimaru 1: Let's do it.

Hektor: Excellent, Master!

Fujimaru 2: What do you think, Billy?

Billy: Of course we'll do it! And Master seems to be on the same page!

Hektor: Yeah. That's the spirit.

Hektor: Got it. Now, go! I'll cover you!

Billy: Master, sit behind me! We're going to break through the enemy line!

Hektor: Now then...I don't have enough magical energy to shoot off Durindana...

Hektor: But as luck would have it, I'm skilled at throwing things! As long as I have a rock or two, you lot aren't long for this world!

Billy: Hang in there, Silver!

Fujimaru 1: Silver?

Billy: My horse's name! We're going to intercept the enemy here!


Billy: Okay, we've broken through the enemy line completely! Run! Run!

Mash: I'm detecting enemies up ahead! Looks like they have a huge amount of magical energy, so please be careful!

Billy: I know! I feel it stinging! It feels like Pat Garrett's bloodlust!

Mash: Can a human possibly exude so much bloodlust!?

Billy: They can. Especially during the pioneering days!

Billy: ...Now tell us. Who the heck are you?

Billy: Ehh, doesn't really matter.

???: Why you...stupid Servants! I can't believe my ambitions have been halted by mere familiars...

???: My golden opportunity lay right after humanity was restored. I took over this land's leyline...and I will take my revenge against the Mage's Association...!

Mash: Based on what he's saying, I assume he's a mage who was expelled from the Mage's Association for political reasons.

Mage: With this vast land and the leyline spread throughout clan will return to its former glory.

Mage: The United States just needs to disappear from the face of history. An insignificant mote of dust that knows nothing of magecraft.

Billy: America, huh? Well, I guess I call it my homeland.

Billy: But if you say it's not, I can't really argue that either.

Billy: This is not my land, and it's not yours either.

Billy: We're just transient caretakers of the land. Now, draw, mage!

Billy: Let's see who's faster.

Mage: Kill... I'll kill you! I will not let you get in the way of my golden revenge!


Mage: Ungh!

Billy: This is the final shot, mage. I only have one bullet left.

Billy: And I take it that you only have one more magecraft use left before you need to rest up.

Billy: It'll be a duel. Ready?

Mage: ...Fine.

Billy: There'll be no signal. As soon as both of us are ready, we go.

Mage: Okay. Fine.

Mage: (Stupid.)

Mage: (I've already set up protective spells... That guy's bullets are low in Divinity. There's no chance they will–)

Mage: Eh?

Billy: Okay. I win.

Mage: Eh...wait...I haven't... No...what...I...wait...wait...wait...!

Mage: What? I'm...dead!? He penetrated my defense. How?

Mage: How? How? How?

Billy: Sorry 'bout that. I'm an outlaw. I'm a villainous kid who plays dirty and always has a trick up his sleeve.

Billy: Yep, yeah...

Billy: Well, I fired three shots almost simultaneously at the same target, so we can call that a single shot, right?

Fujimaru 1: You had me worried!

Billy: Oh, I didn't intend to scare you. Sorry 'bout that.

Fujimaru 2: I believed in you.


Billy: Thanks, Master. What? Don't look over here.

Billy: I said don't look at me!

Hektor: Hey, is it over?

Billy: Thanks, Hektor.

Hektor: Don't sweat it. I was able to protect you this time. I'll always accept a role like this.

Hektor: ...Uh, well I take that back. Next time, summon me for easier battles.

Hundred Personas: Hmph. I never expected I would give an after-action report, even if I'm the only one left.

Hundred Personas: But it was a great contract, Master. You were true to your word, and it didn't end up being a losing battle.

Hundred Personas: Ah, and I have this: a parting gift from Mephistopheles.

Hundred Personas: That laughing man seemed to enjoy it till the very end.

Billy: A gift from Mephistopheles? Is that...

Billy: A bomb!?

Billy: Hyaaah!

Billy: ...Hm?

Fujimaru 1: It says “congratulations.”

Mash: It looks like they're just noisemakers.

Billy: That guy messed around until the very end. Man...

Mash: But if it wasn't for Mephistopheles, matters would have been much worse.

Billy: Right. He's definitely better to have as an ally than enemy.

Billy: Now then. Even after the heroes return, we have so much to do.

Billy: We need to bring all the civilians back, and I need to collect my reward from the sheriff. Otherwise this was all for nothing.

Billy: If someone asks us what happened to the house that got destroyed, we're gonna play dumb.

Billy: But first, let's go eat. I may not be hungry, but I still want to enjoy something delicious.

Billy: How about we have a few drinks at that saloon? Oh, but bear in mind that if you drink booze made in this time, it'll probably taste like horse piss.