Cú Chulainn - Alter

A War of Only Two

Narration: Even a single mistake in a Rayshift cannot be allowed. Or at least, that would be the case were there no opponents awaiting the team.

Narration: Is this mere chance? The whim of a Demon God Pillar? Or is it simply human error?

Narration: Whatever the case, on that day in 2018, only a short while after Cú Chulainn Alter was summoned...

Narration: Humanity's last Master, Fujimaru, was in a dire situation.

Narration: Hm? Dire situations are the order of the day here? Well, be that as it may, THIS particular situation was something rather special.

Narration: Master's most trusted Servant, Mash Kyrielight, was not by [♂ his /♀️ her} side.

Narration: It was not long after the difficult, arduous task of correcting the Singularity in America had been completed.

Narration: Of all Chaldea's Servants, [♂ he /♀️ she} took only Cú Chulainn Alter...

Narration: ...on a forty-eight hour journey.

Cú Chulainn: Bluntly, an Alter is another side of us...just another possibility.

Cú Chulainn: For example: heroes, no matter what kind of life they lived, almost always end up with blood on their hands.

Cú Chulainn: Even heroes who like to think of themselves as good remain aware that they have a merciless side to them.

Cú Chulainn: What would happen if their other side was brought to the forefront? Pretty obvious, don't you think?

Tristan: It goes without saying that we are conscious that our living selves and ourselves as we are now are more or less the same.

Tristan: However, even I cannot make any claim to sainthood.

Tristan: A virtuous king can turn cold-blooded. A cold-blooded king becomes virtuous.

Tristan: A mad dog of a knight had a time to shine bright. And the opposite rings true.

Tristan: And there are those who fell from grace, those who fell into darkness, or were driven into it by events beyond their control.

Gilles de Rais: ...Lamentably, I cannot argue that point.

Gilles de Rais: That is the man I ultimately become. An Anti-Hero, a mass-murderer, a truly evil man.

Gilles de Rais: As painful as it may be, it is not something I can simply avoid...

Gilles de Rais: I must acknowledge that he is another side of me... I mustn't avert my gaze from that truth...

Cú Chulainn: The real issue is that they're not exactly just another side of us. They've mutated somehow.

Cú Chulainn: The other me fused with Medb's far-fetched idea of me as a king.

Cú Chulainn: Guess it happened since humanity is so unstable. Otherwise, I'd have been less of a jerk.

Cú Chulainn Alter: What? You scared, Fujimaru?

Fujimaru 1: Not really.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Don't act so tough.

Cú Chulainn Alter: We lost communication, we're low on food and water, and I'm the only Servant you've got.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Standing there, saying you're not scared? Liar.

Fujimaru 2: Well, to be honest...

Cú Chulainn Alter: I knew it.

Cú Chulainn Alter: We lost communication, we're low on food and water, and I'm the only Servant you've got.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Even your trusty Shielder isn't here.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Anyone would be scared out of their wits. Right?

Cú Chulainn Alter: Don't give me that look.

Cú Chulainn Alter: We did try to kill each other the last time we were here. Am I wrong?

Cú Chulainn Alter: No, I'm not. You and I fought to the death. You, Fujimaru.

Cú Chulainn Alter: If you're a Master, you are responsible for your Servants in battle. No matter the opponent, the ultimate decision to fight is on you.

Cú Chulainn Alter: That's why I fought against you and lost. Isn't that right?

Cú Chulainn Alter: But now it's just a faint memory. Look at that. While we were chit-chatting, enemies surrounded us.

Cú Chulainn Alter: So what'll it be, Master? Retreat or meet the attack head-on? You better choose.

Fujimaru 1: Attack.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Got it. Good, a quick decision. You didn't even hesitate. I like it.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Now it's time for a massacre. This lot isn't even hardy enough to be a good meal.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Still, no harm in an appetizer here and there!


Cú Chulainn: Normally, if I were summoned as a Berserker, I would turn out pretty different.

Cú Chulainn: But from what I remember, the raged-out me is probably the world's biggest good-for-nothing.

Cú Chulainn: So maybe HE is at least the lesser of two evils.

Dr. Roman: Hey! We're connected! All right!

Fujimaru 1: Doctor!

Dr. Roman: Oh. Hey. Glad you're doing okay.

Dr. Roman: We were monitoring your vitals this whole time on our end, but I couldn't relax until I saw your face in person!

Cú Chulainn Alter: Hey. You aren't looking in person. You're yammering from a safe, cushy office. Who the hell do you think you are?

Dr. Roman: Ugh, well... I can't really argue that.

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...I was only speaking on your behalf.

Dr. Roman: He's completely right, Fujimaru.

Dr. Roman: When you come back, I'll treat you to my favorite sesame buns by way of apology.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Is that the best you can do?

Dr. Roman: Eh? Uh...um...my favorite bean buns? Hngh...this is gonna cost me...!

Cú Chulainn Alter: Master, I am not certain your boss is a good or worthwhile human being.

Fujimaru 1: I sometimes wonder the same thing.

Dr. Roman: Oh come on.

Fujimaru 2: That's not exactly news.

Dr. Roman: Just...consider all that an attempt to lighten the mood with a silly joke!

Dr. Roman: ...Aaanywho, that's enough chitchat.

Dr. Roman: You're in a bit of a dangerous situation right now... We have two choices about how to retrieve you.

Dr. Roman: Our first option would be to conduct a forced Rayshift. It's dangerous, but it's probably the best way to deal with the current situation.

Dr. Roman: ...Let me emphasize that this will be dangerous.

Dr. Roman: It will be a great deal harder on you than a normal Rayshift.

Dr. Roman: Second option: I've already pinpointed your coordinates. You should be able to make your way to Mash on foot.

Dr. Roman: If you do that, we can Rayshift you back normally.

Dr. Roman: However, Mash is a little far. It will take you at least forty-eight hours to reach her.

Fujimaru 1: Forty-eight hours...

Cú Chulainn Alter: Ha. Well, well. You've gotten yourself into quite the mess, Master.

Cú Chulainn: Is he saying there's a chance he might betray Master?

Cú Chulainn: Who knows? Tough question.

Cú Chulainn: No matter how levelheaded Berserkers may seem, they're all pretty unhinged.

Cú Chulainn: However, if they're completely lost to madness, there is a possibility that they could make a mad dash without thinking twice... Maybe.

Cú Chulainn: Either way, I can't imagine even the other side of me would do something like that.

Cú Chulainn: Honestly, the opposite is more likely, I think.

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...I don't sense any enemies nearby.

Fujimaru 1: Thanks.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Just doing my job as a Servant. Quit thanking me every time.

Fujimaru 1: But...

Cú Chulainn Alter: Irritating.

Cú Chulainn Alter: That's just the natural relationship between Master and their Servants.

Cú Chulainn Alter: I may be born from malice and bizarre circumstance, but I am still Cú Chulainn.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Kill my enemies. Protect my allies.

Cú Chulainn Alter: That is how it goes for all Celtic folk: we kill whether they be enemies or allies.

Cú Chulainn Alter: And I'm not so squeamish as to let others do my dirty work.

Fujimaru 1: Got it.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Good. Rest up. I'll keep watch.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Oh. Before you go to sleep, there's one thing I want to ask you.

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...Why did you choose to do it this way?

Fujimaru 1: No way can I let myself die here.

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...Figured as much.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Had you chosen the forceful Rayshift option in an attempt to get away from it all, and some kind of accident happened...the world would be over.

Fujimaru 2: Eh, just 'cause.

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...Hmph.

Cú Chulainn Alter: But now, you're stuck with me for another thirty-six hours.

Cú Chulainn Alter: You have no other allies here, and nobody else can help you. This time we have together will be like torture... Are you sure you can make it out alive?

Fujimaru 1: I am.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Oh really?

Fujimaru 2: I'm not... At least, not if I'm alone.

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...I see.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Time to head out, [♂ boy /♀️ girl}. Get a move on.

Cú Chulainn Alter: And one more thing: hydrate yourself from the tree roots before we leave the forest. We won't have another chance to get any water for a while.

Dr. Roman: ...I've got some bad news.

Cú Chulainn Alter: I doubt you could tell us much that would make matters worse.

Dr. Roman: We've detected a large group of enemies up ahead.

Dr. Roman: They're spread out all over the place. Trying to go around would add about two hundred hours to your trip.

Dr. Roman: Considering your food and water supplies, your psychological state, and your current vitals, I recommend you Rayshift immediately.

Dr. Roman: It shouldn't be so much of a cause for concern now. Our chances of success have gone up. It should be fine...probably...

Cú Chulainn Alter: Enemies? Then I'll kill them.

Dr. Roman: There's just too many of them.

Dr. Roman: Plus, our analysis of enemy activity shows they're in constant communication with each other.

Dr. Roman: Once they're engaged, they'll just keep calling for reinforcements until they've killed their target.

Dr. Roman: Matters might have been different if Mash were there, but there's just no way you can protect Fujimaru alone.

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...Huh. Nice pep talk.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Well then. Master, we're going to find a place for you to hide.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Then I'll go slaughter them all.

Dr. Roman: Come on, don't be absurd!

Dr. Roman: First and foremost, I can't let you just leave Fujimaru alone!

Cú Chulainn Alter: As it is, there's no choice.

Cú Chulainn Alter: If I fail, then you can just Rayshift or whatever you want to do.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Let's review.

Cú Chulainn Alter: You'll stay here and find some food and water.

Cú Chulainn Alter: I'll go swing my lance around a bit, even throw out my Noble Phantasm. Once I've swept all the enemies away, I'll call for you.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Got it?

Fujimaru 1: I don't like it.

Cú Chulainn Alter: What, are you going to tag along?

Fujimaru 2: Don't you think I should go with you?

Cú Chulainn Alter: You out of your damn mind?

Cú Chulainn Alter: If you pull something like that, the whole plan's a waste. The enemy's after you.

Cú Chulainn Alter: You wanna be dead weight slowing me down? And you call yourself a Master...

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...I want to say that I understand what you're saying.

Cú Chulainn Alter: “I don't want you to die and I don't want to die.”

Cú Chulainn Alter: But the whole Master-Servant relationship isn't that simple.

Cú Chulainn: I don't think betrayal is a concern, but I'd say death is imminent.

Cú Chulainn: In a normal Grail War, a Master only thinks of their Servants as familiars, which causes some trouble.

Cú Chulainn: Most Masters are good-for-nothing mages. It's no wonder they don't get along with Heroic Spirits.

Cú Chulainn: Well, some Servants tolerate them, but some Servants cross the line.

Cú Chulainn: But that guy is the opposite. He understands that he's just a familiar, and acts accordingly.

Cú Chulainn: So that's why if Master's life's in danger...I think he'd throw his life away to protect [♂ him /♀️ her} without hesitating.

Cú Chulainn: It's not something he'd do out of affection so much as just the sort of service he feels is appropriate.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Goring Spear of Slaughter...Gáe Bolg!!!

Dr. Roman: I don't believe it. I knew his NP is Anti-Army, but he wiped out a third of the enemies.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Quit mocking me. It's ONLY a third. Until I've massacred the rest of them, this isn't a victory.

Dr. Roman: If only you weren't alone, and if only there wasn't such an endless tide of enemies...

Cú Chulainn Alter: Heh. I'm used to this.

Dr. Roman: No matter how I look at this, you'll only be able to get through half of them at best. I recommend you give up and make a temporary retreat.

Cú Chulainn Alter: And what would happen if we retreat?

Dr. Roman: Well...you'll just have to start all over again.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Screw that.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Backup from Chaldea has its limits. If we turn back and start all over again, this [♂ boy /♀️ girl} definitely won't last.

Dr. Roman: I don't know... I think you underestimate Fujimaru.

Dr. Roman: Let me say this again: at best you can take out half. They may not be individually strong, but their sheer numbers are overwhelming.

Cú Chulainn Alter: That's nothing new for a lone Servant out in the battlefield.

Dr. Roman: Oh, right.

Dr. Roman: I forgot that Cú Chulainn fought through an army of Medb's soldiers all by himself.

Dr. Roman: But still, you're a Servant now. We don't have sufficient magical energy for you to keep exerting your true power like that.

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...Figured as much.

Dr. Roman: You think that's why you have a Master, huh.

Dr. Roman: A supplier of magical energy for manifestation... A link to maintain your existence.

Dr. Roman: That, and that alone, is what you believe a Master's purpose to be.

Cú Chulainn Alter: What else would it be?

Dr. Roman: Unfortunately for you, there's a good deal more to it.

Dr. Roman: Now that you've taken out a third of the enemies, we can ensure [♂ his /♀️ her} safety from our end.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Huh? What the hell are you talking about...? You're not saying...

Dr. Roman: Fujimaru! It's your turn! Support him as a Master!

Fujimaru 1: Got it, Doctor!

Cú Chulainn Alter: Damn.

Dr. Roman: It'll be okay. Your Master overcame the catastrophe that was the demonic fog in London, so you'll be fine!

Dr. Roman: I've sent you all the data we have on the enemies. Now, fight alongside Cú Chulainn Alter!


Cú Chulainn Alter: We've managed to get rid of a good number. Okay, we're going to dash through.

Fujimaru 1: Are you angry?

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...

Cú Chulainn Alter: I don't agree, but I'm not mad.

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...But now I know you're that kind of Master. From here on, I just have to handle you differently.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Come on, we're going to walk a bit more. Master, what about food and water?

Fujimaru 1: Uh...

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...You wanna starve? We can't go back.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Chew on tree roots and lick the stones. Don't you dare complain. This is your own doing!

Narration: And after that?

Narration: Afterward, they managed to meet up with Mash Kyrielight, and that was it.

Narration: Nothing was physically gained from that incident, but they went through a valuable experience...at least I want to think so.

Narration: Even for Fujimaru, chewing on tree roots to survive isn't an everyday occurrence.

Narration: Report completed. Recorder is □□ □□□□□□□□.

Narration: Now then...I wonder if someone's going to read through this massive Rayshift report someday.

Narration: Or maybe it will never see the light of day...considering the future to be saved, and what lies after that.

Kill Like a Beast, Fight for Carnage

Narration: ...He once said no one should bother trying to understand him.

Narration: That sometimes, understanding can lead to hatred, and that hatred can lead to mistakes.

Narration: So one must never try to understand a Berserker.

Narration: For understanding is not in their nature.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Tch...

Fujimaru 1: Are you okay?

Cú Chulainn Alter: Of course I am.

Cú Chulainn Alter: I have to keep on winning now. I don't have any other choice.

Fujimaru 2: Can you still fight?

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...That's a good question, Master. Stupid one, too.

Cú Chulainn Alter: 'Course I can still fight. I'm still alive, aren't I?

Cú Chulainn Alter: That said, I'll admit our situation couldn't suck harder if it tried.

Cú Chulainn Alter: We can't Rayshift out of here, we can't call Chaldea, I'm the only Servant you've got...

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...and on top of all that, the enemy commands Servants from all the main classes.

Fujimaru 1: Not to mention we don't even know what time period this is.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Right.

Cú Chulainn Alter: There's nothing but primordial forest as far as we can see, the air's filthy, and there's magical energy everywhere.

Cú Chulainn Alter: This place is at least as bad as the Age of Gods.

Fujimaru 1: Do you think it's a Demon God Pillar?

Cú Chulainn Alter: Maybe, but who cares?

Fujimaru 2: I wonder what's causing this.

Cú Chulainn Alter: It might be a Demon God Pillar, but who cares?

Cú Chulainn Alter: What matters is that we're facing seven Servants, and we've gotta beat them all if we wanna get out of here.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Whether we beat them one at a time, or all at once...

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...we won't be fixing this Singularity until you and I are the only ones left standing here.

Cú Chulainn Alter: And we need to get this done as fast as possible.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Your body looks to be about at its limit, yeah?

Fujimaru 1: But...

Cú Chulainn Alter: If you're seriously gonna spend any energy worrying about my worthless hide...

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...then you have no business trying to save humanity.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Now that humanity's been restored, there's any number of Masters who could take your place.

Fujimaru 2: What about you? Are you okay?

Cú Chulainn Alter: Don't bother worrying about me. We Servants only exist to fill a need.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Your hesitation could easily get us both killed.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Don't get close to me, don't defend me, don't even treat me like a person. ...It'll just dull my spear.

Cú Chulainn Alter: All right, no more chitchat.

Cú Chulainn Alter: All there is now is to fight until I get you back home.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Ready?

Fujimaru 1: ...Yeah.

Fujimaru 2: Let's go!

Cú Chulainn Alter: Looks like we've got our first two opponents!

Fujimaru 1: Watch out for Robin Hood!

Robin Hood: Damn, you're really worried about a second-rate Servant like me? I know they say “better safe than sorry,” but come on!

Robin Hood: Eh, don't worry though. Torturing Masters like you to death really isn't my thing.

Fujimaru 2: Watch out for Semiramis!

Semiramis: Well, well. I see this Master has a sharp eye.

Semiramis: Too bad it won't do you any good, seeing as you're stuck with a Berserker.

Semiramis: Tell you what. Out of respect for your talent, I'll make your death quick and painless.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Don't make me laugh.

Cú Chulainn Alter: These Servants never stood a chance against me!


Cú Chulainn Alter: Gotcha!

Semiramis: Hmph, so this is as far as I go... Well that wasn't fun at all.

Robin Hood: Welp, guess this is it. But, at least we did what we came here to do...

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...

Fujimaru 1: You've been poisoned!

Cú Chulainn Alter: Tch... So that's what their game was.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Don't worry about it. I might not be long for this world, but I'm not done for yet.

Fujimaru 2: I'll heal you!

Cú Chulainn Alter: Don't bother.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Semiramis made this...and she's been poisoning people longer than anyone.

Cú Chulainn Alter: A few cure spells aren't gonna do shit.

Cú Chulainn Alter: So, five to go... Better take care of them before the poison spreads too far.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Still no sign of what time period this is, or a place where we can get a look at this whole Singularity.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Ah well, that's not important. The main thing is finding the other Servants.

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...What? You still worried about the poison or something?

Fujimaru 1: That's part of it, but...

Cú Chulainn Alter: Yeah?

Fujimaru 1: It's just, you have so little regard for yourself...

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...You haven't changed a bit, have you?

Fujimaru 2: I don't get you.

Cú Chulainn Alter: You don't have to get me. Servants are just machines.

Cú Chulainn Alter: And there's no point in caring for a machine like it was a person.

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...Getting back to what matters here...

Cú Chulainn Alter: There's definitely something odd about this Singularity. Some parts look like the Far East, others like South America.

Cú Chulainn Alter: And on top of that, I don't see any signs of people anywhere. We can't just keep stumbling around and hope for the best.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Any bright ideas, Master?

Fujimaru 1: Maybe we could find somewhere to go if we made a boat?

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...Forget it. Every bone in my body's telling me that's a bad idea.

Cú Chulainn Alter: I'm guessing we could sail all the way around this world and still not find anywhere to go.

Fujimaru 2: Maybe a cave or something...?

Cú Chulainn Alter: Yeah, that makes sense.

Cú Chulainn Alter: It'd be a good idea to find shelter in a cave, in part so you can get some rest.

Cú Chulainn Alter: All right, let's see if we can find a cave. But first...

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...I'm gonna kill these guys and get 'em off our backs. Give me some space, Master.

Karna: ...Please don't think poorly of me. It's nothing personal.

Medb: Aww, you're the guy we gotta take out, Cú? Well that sucks!

Medb: Come on, why don't you ditch the loser and join us?

Cú Chulainn Alter: Don't be ridiculous. I can't do that.

Karna: It's not that. You're merely loyal to a fault.

Karna: Becoming an Alter has done nothing to change that.

Medb: True. You just wouldn't be Cú if you went around ditching your charge.

Medb: So it'd make me real happy if you just agreed to roll over and kick the bucket to get out of this Holy Grail War!

Cú Chulainn Alter: Holy Grail War?

Karna: I see little point in telling you more, as you are about to die.

Karna: Let's begin.

Medb: Hmm, I don't know how I feel about this. Facing you when you're poisoned seems like a geis from when you were still alive...

Medb: No, wait, I totally know how I feel! This is just as exciting now as it was back then! I can't wait to back you into a corner and finish you off!

Cú Chulainn Alter: Come try.

Cú Chulainn Alter: When this is over, there won't be so much as a speck left of either of you!

Karna: I see. So that ferocity is what made you a Berserker.

Karna: You have narrowed your focus so much that you've blinded yourself to anything other than your goal.

Karna: But remember this, warrior of Ulster: that very part of you is what weighs on your Master the most.


Narration: Every breath I take is agony. I have no idea what I should do.

Narration: So I tear into the enemy in front of me. That's all I'm meant for.

Narration: That's what warriors have always done, especially when we're berserk.

Karna: A true hero...kills with his eyes!

Cú Chulainn Alter: Tch...!

Medb: Bring it! Chariot My Love!

Cú Chulainn Alter: Is that a joke, Medb!?

Medb: He took it head-on!

Cú Chulainn Alter: Here, Karna. You can have this back!

Karna: ...!

Medb: Karna!

Karna: ...It would seem this is it for me...

Cú Chulainn Alter: You left yourself open, Medb.

Medb: Huh!? Oh shi–

Cú Chulainn Alter: Gáe Bolg...!

Medb: Guh...!

Cú Chulainn Alter: It's over. Now it's your turn to die.

Medb: Heh, hehe... Owww... That was...a good hit.

Medb: You win this one. But...there's still three Servants left. Think you can take them all with your body falling apart?

Cú Chulainn Alter: Shut up.

Medb: Hehe... See you...on the other side.

Fujimaru 1: Cú Chulainn!

Fujimaru 2: Alter!

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...Come on... We need to keep going.

Fujimaru 1: Can we at least rest a little?

Cú Chulainn Alter: ?

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...Yeah, all right. You stay here and hold down the fort.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Meantime...I'll go finish off the last three.

Fujimaru 1: Can you just trust me?

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...It's not that. If I didn't trust you, I'd have killed you long ago.

Cú Chulainn Alter: ... ...

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...Karna said I'm a burden for you as I am now.

Cú Chulainn Alter: He's probably right.

Cú Chulainn Alter: For some reason...I'm dead set on handling everything on my own.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Allies, comrades, friends...

Cú Chulainn Alter: Anyone who's supposed to help share the load just ends up making it heavier for me.

Cú Chulainn Alter: That goes for you too, Master.

Cú Chulainn Alter: As much as I'm a burden for you, you're a burden for me.

Cú Chulainn Alter: So you just sit tight here while I go take care of this.

Fujimaru 1: So now, here I am, all on my own...

Fujimaru 2: Something about this doesn't feel right...

???: Huh, what do you know. You must be that Master of Chaldea [♂ fellow /♀️ lady}.

Fujimaru 1: Andersen...!?

Andersen: That's me.

Andersen: A third-rate Servant, and the only one to voluntarily drop out of this Holy Grail War.

Andersen: If you already know who I am, that'll save us some time. Now, what are you doing here?

Andersen: Is your Servant staying out of the Holy Grail War?

Fujimaru 1: “Holy Grail War” is kind of stretching it...

Andersen: True, this one is much different than the usual battle royale.

Andersen: Instead of fighting each other, all seven Servants are working together to keep the Holy Grail safe from a single opposing Servant.

Andersen: Of course, since it won't make any difference if I'm there fighting or not, I decided I'd go ahead and sit it out right here.

Andersen: Besides, it doesn't matter how many of us our enemy defeats. There's no way he's getting through Heracles.

Fujimaru 1: Heracles...!

Andersen: Yup. The greatest hero in all of Greek myth. If most Servants can hit like a truck, Herc is more like a goddamn freight train. Only a fool would take him on.

Andersen: So, what are you doing here, anyway, Master of Chaldea?

Fujimaru 1: Well...

Andersen: Hmm. He prefers to go it on his own, huh.

Andersen: That certainly sounds like something Cú Chulainn Alter would say.

Andersen: The original Cú Chulainn was a Celtic warrior through and through. For him, both enemy and ally alike could be a friend...depending on his mood.

Andersen: ...But it sounds like all of that's gone in Cú Chulainn Alter.

Andersen: So he thinks it's fine for everyone else to be weak, and as long as he's strong, everything will be fine.

Andersen: He also thinks it's just fine to keep his charges at a distance, and doesn't care if he gets hurt.

Andersen: What a joke!

Andersen: Doesn't he realize that's exactly the sort of behavior that ends up hurting the ones he's supposed to be protecting?

Andersen: That's the whole reason why you're hurt and moping around in here now.

Fujimaru 1: I see.

Andersen: Good. Then get out of here.

Fujimaru 2: So that's what I've been feeling...

Andersen: Now do you get it? Only one thing left for you to do.

Andersen: Hurry up and go find him. Once you're out of these woods, turn left and keep heading straight.

Andersen: You'll see a cave there. That is where this war will come to an end.

Fujimaru 1: Thank you, Andersen.

Andersen: I've got no use for your gratitude. You don't look like you could afford one of my books anyway.

Andersen: So get lost. Go do what a Master's supposed to do.

Andersen: If he succeeds at defeating the last two Servants, it won't take long for this Singularity to disappear.

Fujimaru 1: I can hear them fighting...!

Cú Chulainn Alter: Hraaaaaaaaah!!!



Cú Chulainn Alter: (Huff, huff, huff...)

Cú Chulainn Alter: ... ...

Cú Chulainn Alter: Master? What're you... Why're you here?

Fujimaru 1: I'm here to fight.

Fujimaru 2: Just felt like it.

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...Tch. Fine. Suit yourself.

Fujimaru 1: Yep.

Altria Alter: ...So, the Master makes [♂ his /♀️ her} appearance.

Altria Alter: But you are too late. Your blade will never reach me.

Altria Alter: Our Berserker's victory is assured.



Cú Chulainn Alter: ...!

Cú Chulainn Alter: Not yet. This isn't over yet!

Narration: My body's falling apart. My mind's going with it.

Narration: And I'm up against the strongest hero in all of Greek myth. A monster who completed the Twelve Labors and obtained immortality.

Narration: I know I've killed him several times, but he keeps coming back to life and absolutely crushing me.

Narration: I can feel my bones grinding. I can feel my muscles tearing.

Narration: But so what?

Narration: I'm here to win. To keep winning.

Narration: ...It doesn't matter if Master's here or not. I don't need [♂ him /♀️ her}. And yet...

Cú Chulainn Alter: Tch...!

Fujimaru 1: Heal!

Fujimaru 2: Enhance!

Cú Chulainn Alter: Thanks for the help, but stay out of this. ...Just sit back and watch.

Narration: ...God, this sucks.

Narration: Just having [♂ him /♀️ her} here is making me and my spear stronger...!

Altria Alter: ...Oho.

Altria Alter: So you managed to reach me even without defeating Heracles.

Altria Alter: ...Very well. Then I shall join the battle as well.

Altria Alter: ...Prepare to taste the steel of my sacred sword, warrior of Ulster.

Cú Chulainn Alter: No thanks.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Don't go spacing out on me, Master. We've got a battle to win.

Fujimaru 1: Right...!

Cú Chulainn Alter: I'm pulling out all my curses. No more holding back.

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...Let's go kill us some Servants. Curruid Coinchenn...!


Cú Chulainn Alter: Haaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

Altria Alter: ...Impressive.

Cú Chulainn Alter: I don't see the Caster anywhere... I take it you're the last one?

Altria Alter: That is correct.

Cú Chulainn Alter: So, why were you guys summoned, anyway?

Altria Alter: ...I do not know.

Altria Alter: All I know is that we were made to wait here, peacefully, until you two arrived.

Altria Alter: We were then ordered to kill you. Nothing more.

Altria Alter: This can only mean one of two things. Whoever summoned us hates either Chaldea, or you.

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...I see.

Cú Chulainn Alter: So this was just a big experiment.

Altria Alter: Perhaps.

Altria Alter: ...Watch yourself, Master of Chaldea...

Cú Chulainn Alter: It's over.

Da Vinci: Heeey! Fujimaru!

Da Vinci: Phew, it looks like you're all right. That's a relief.

Da Vinci: Once we got cut off from voice comms, the only thing we could do was track your vital signs...

Da Vinci: Though at least they remained stable the whole time. Everything okay on your end?

Fujimaru 1: I'll explain when we get back.

Da Vinci: Oho, sounds like we're in for a good story.

Fujimaru 2: Well, more or less...

Da Vinci: I see, I see.

Da Vinci: All right, since it looks like you're all done cleaning up there, we'll get ready to bring you back.

Da Vinci: Just let us know when you're done.

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...Someone with a grudge against us, huh. Guess there's still a Demon God Pillar out there somewhere.

Cú Chulainn Alter: Must be rough, having someone wish you were dead for saving humanity.

Cú Chulainn Alter: But anyway...

Cú Chulainn Alter: ...if you've got an enemy you need good and dead, just give me a shout and I'll come running.

Cú Chulainn Alter: That's what Berserkers are supposed to do, after all.

Narration: ...Man, this sucks.

Narration: My own eventual death's probably gonna be a real shitshow...

Narration: ...but I guess at least one person's gonna be sad when I'm gone.