Cleopatra
Where Beauty Lies
Cleopatra:
Hello! As ever, you have that sad puppy look on your face, Master!
Cleopatra:
But that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all. Everything is!
Cleopatra:
Besides, it's the common crossbreed pups with that doe-eyed sad look who stop passersby at the pet shop windows.
Cleopatra:
Too many expensive breeds with bright eyes and shining coats could intimidate people passing by!
Cleopatra:
That's why you shouldn't feel ashamed and actually be proud of being a hot ticket item.
Cleopatra:
After all, no matter how much you flail about,
you can never change the essence of who you are.
Mash:
O-okay... To be honest, I do not really understand what you're saying.
Mash:
But anyway... Welcome, Cleopatra.
Fujimaru 1:
You are quite the beauty today, as usual.
Cleopatra:
Tee hee. I tire of such praise.
You're only stating the obvious, you know.
Cleopatra:
But at least you never fail to acknowledge those around you. Let's go eat some fruit together later.
Fujimaru 2:
Hello.
Cleopatra:
You have the gall to address me like a mere friend!? I should be adored like the queen that I am! This is a disgrace that I, Cleopatra VII, have never experienced!
Cleopatra:
Such disrespect! And yet how refreshing! Whatever should I do!? What kind of reward would you like, for offering such new experience to me!?
Mash:
So, Cleopatra, we seldom see you around here.
Mash:
What brings you here today?
Cleopatra:
...?
But you just mentioned my reason for being here.
Mash:
Wha...?
Cleopatra:
...(Sigh) I suppose I'll have to spell it out for you, won't I?
Cleopatra:
As a special favor to you, I'll explain everything.
Clear as day.
Cleopatra:
Listen. It's been quite a while since I was summoned here.
Fujimaru 1:
Right.
Fujimaru 2:
I use your fighting technique all the time.
Cleopatra:
But I realized that I had forgotten something crucial.
Cleopatra:
It's something that should have been done much earlier, and I feel that failing to do so has caused certain complications to arise.
Fujimaru 1:
...What is it?
Cleopatra:
... You do realize that you summoned me, the ultimate beauty of the world, Cleopatra VII Philopator, right?
Cleopatra:
And thus, I am able to make time, without any warning, and without opening up anyone's schedule and do this...
Cleopatra:
Which means, there's only one thing to do...
Cleopatra:
We must have a photo shoot!
Mash:
!?
Mash:
I-I'm sorry, Cleopatra.
I don't quite follow...
Cleopatra:
What was unclear in what I said?
Cleopatra:
I can't imagine I need to explain what a photo shoot is, do I?
Cleopatra:
I do not visit Master's room that often...so I wish to immortalize this moment with a photo shoot!
Cleopatra:
If you still don't understand now, then you will just have to come and see for yourself.
Cleopatra:
Now come, Master.
It's time to head out!
Cleopatra:
A professional photo shoot obviously requires a talented photographer. We must first recruit a cameraman!
Mash:
Oh, wait, Cleopatra!
Cleopatra!?
Fujimaru 1:
There's no use arguing. Let's go.
Mash:
...I suppose we can't just leave her alone like this.
Who knows what she has in mind, though...
Mash:
All right, Senpai. After you.
Fujimaru 2:
Let's play along. Sounds like fun.
Mash:
Fun...? Do you think so...?
Mash:
Either way, we can't just leave Cleopatra to her devices. All right, Senpai. After you.
Cleopatra:
You should be honored. You have been selected as the gifted artisan who will immortalize my beauty!
Georgios:
...?
Mash:
I-I'm terribly sorry, Georgios.
Mash:
I'm sure Cleopatra's beautiful, wonderful greeting has you so dumbfounded that you've just stopped in your tracks, and can think of nothing to say.
Mash:
Allow me to explain what she was talking about.
Mash:
She is asking you to be her photographer, Georgios.
Georgios:
Well, if it isn't Master and Mash.
Georgios:
I see...so you seek my talent.
Georgios:
If that is what you require, I'd be happy to accept...
But I was actually on my way to the Saints' Club...
Fujimaru 1:
Saints' Club?
Georgios:
As the name entails,
it is a meeting of the saints here in Chaldea.
Georgios:
There's no official agenda, but I believe there is a purpose for me in joining such a club.
Georgios:
Yes... For example, should a saintly woman with excessive strength start shadow boxing all of a sudden...
Georgios:
Or should a mysterious, saint-like individual from the Far East chuckle menacingly...
Georgios:
Or if a precocious young saint asks where babies come from...
Georgios:
Or if a dark saintly woman who shows contempt for sainthood mistakenly gets captured on film...
Georgios:
When such a time comes, I will need to be present.
Oh, my Lord...
Mash:
Y-you seem to have it tough...
Cleopatra:
Then this is exactly the time you're waiting for!
Cleopatra:
Unlike that obscure and unfulfilling labor that you mentioned, the job that I am requesting you to do is quite simple. Rewarding. Coveted, in fact.
Cleopatra:
In better times, my worshippers (read: fans) would have desired even the tiniest reminder of my beauty to keep and gaze upon lovingly in their homes...
Cleopatra:
And they would have gladly waited in long lines carrying their expensive memory-preserving machines that were purchased with their life savings!
Cleopatra:
As I said, you are being freely offered this great honor. You have no cause to hesitate!
Georgios:
Yes, but I am not hesitating.
Georgios:
I have prior commitments, and who knows what kind of hellish scene the Saints' Club may be without me there.
Cleopatra:
Ungh... He cannot seem to grasp my simple logic. Even a child would have understood. He really must not know a thing about beauty.
Cleopatra:
He must have lived an abstentious life, which led to him forgetting what it even means to love beauty.
Cleopatra:
So obsessed with sainthood.
How sad...
Fujimaru 1:
Well, he IS a saint...
Cleopatra:
It's fine.
I have found our directive.
Cleopatra:
The reason why this man is not accepting the honor of being my photographer is because he is a sad, sad man who does not appreciate beauty.
Cleopatra:
In order to regain such appreciation, words will not suffice. Rather, he needs a shock to his system to free him of his silly notions.
Cleopatra:
Yes...yes. If that is what is needed,
then we have no choice.
Cleopatra:
I shall personally beat an appreciation of beauty into this man! My own beauty knows no parallel, after all!
Georgios:
...Mm, what do you mean by “personally”?
Mash:
Georgios!
What is that expression on your face!?
Fujimaru 1:
It looks like he's imagining something unsaintly!
Cleopatra:
Hm? What do you mean, “unsaintly”? I was just going to show that nincompoop what beauty is with my body...
Cleopatra:
...!
Cleopatra:
There...there is absolutely no way I would have shown my skin to a man I do not love!!!
Cleopatra:
People may have called me a seductress who manipulated men to further her country's interests...
Cleopatra:
But I did what I did because I fell in love with all those handsome men!
Cleopatra:
...Ahem. I digress.
It's hard to convey your true feelings to others...
Cleopatra:
Let's try this again, without any misunderstandings.
Let's demonstrate with actions, not with words.
Cleopatra:
Basically, I'm going to beat a sense of beauty back into you myself!
Cleopatra:
Brace yourself, saintly photographer!
--BATTLE--:
Cleopatra:
You'll take the job? You said you'll take the job, right? Ohoho, you should have said so from the get-go!
Mash:
...Are you sure about this?
Georgios:
Yes. If she needs me that much, I cannot refuse.
Georgios:
To be honest, her dazzling form was quite blinding.
In fact, I was nearly blinded several times.
Mash:
Georgios...does that mean...are you actually blind now...?
Fujimaru 1:
What about the Saints' Club?
Georgios:
I've arranged it so that King David will be there as a special guest.
Georgios:
He has many moving stories to tell. He has the power to make his listeners go into a trance. So he should be able to carry the meeting for now.
Mash:
How the other saints will listen and react to King David's story is intriguing in itself...
Mash:
But everything has been arranged.
Now let us head to this photography session...
Cleopatra:
(Gasp!)
No, I forgot one other crucial detail!
Fujimaru 1:
Now what!?
Cleopatra:
The background! There is absolutely no way we are doing a shoot in this dingy cave!
Cleopatra:
...Actually, I wonder why the Saints' Club meets in a place like this. But let's leave that aside for now.
Fujimaru 2:
It's about the shooting site, isn't it?
Cleopatra:
Exactly. Of course my Master could figure that out.
I want a photo shoot to match a Hollywood star!
Cleopatra:
If my beauty is to be preserved in a photo,
there must also be a suitable background!
Cleopatra:
So there you have it. Let's continue our Rayshifting in search of the perfect background for the shoot!
Cleopatra:
Mash, go ahead with the preparations!
If you're shorthanded, use all of Chaldea's staff!
Cleopatra:
There's no need to pay them extra for this!
The privilege of looking upon me is reward enough!
Cleopatra:
Oh, but my bright and dazzling form will cause some of the staff to go blind. I guess I would have to offer them extra pay to compensate them.
Fujimaru 1:
(Why can't she just agree to pay them part-time wages?)
Mash:
Well, basically everything she's doing just shouts “Cleopatra”...
Mash:
Anyway, it appears that I need to make some preparations.
Mash:
I'm going to grin and bear it and help out in Cleopatra's photo shoot!
--ARROW--:
Georgios:
Hm. Now that I've connected the instant photo processing device specially made by Da Vinci...
Georgios:
Okay. Not bad. Here's how it turned out...
What do you think?
Cleopatra:
Hmmm. Not...terrible... Maybe it's that I'm alone...maybe it'll be different when we do the shoot for real...
Mash:
She seems to be muttering about something. I think she's being particular at something, but I can only imagine how high her standards must be.
Cleopatra:
Master?
Come over here. Next to me.
Cleopatra:
Yes. Direct your face over there...just like that. Got it? Now don't move. Come on, photographer, take it now!
Georgios:
Moving on to taking the two of you? Understood.
Three, two, one... Say “cheese.”
Georgios:
What do you think?
Cleopatra:
...
Cleopatra:
Honestly, it's bad.
One subject totally outshines the other.
Fujimaru 1:
(I'm sorry...)
Fujimaru 2:
(This is what happens when an ordinary Masterpairs up with the world's greatest beauty...)
Mash:
N-no, I don't think that's true!
I like this photo...
Mash:
So there's no need to be so disappointed...!
Georgios:
If the client is not satisfied, I fail as a photographer.
I can retake as many as needed.
Cleopatra:
We obviously need a reshoot.
Maybe the background just isn't working.
Cleopatra:
If the photo's not turning out right even after so many takes, maybe we're just in the wrong place. Let's head to a different location!
Cleopatra:
Unacceptable! You say there's something lacking, but I say EVERYTHING'S lacking!
Georgios:
Ugh...!
Georgios:
I may be able to retaliate should the comment just be an emotional outburst, but this is coming from a pharaoh who left her mark on history.
Georgios:
Even I know that this photograph does not accentuate the subject matter to its true potential.
Georgios:
I cannot call myself a photographer and say this is my best work!
Mash:
Those two are very serious.
It's like a heated battle of some sort.
Fujimaru 1:
That's fine, but why do I need to be in the photos?
Mash:
(The question is whether Master's psyche can withstand every photo that gets criticized.)
Georgios:
Now, I would like to do another shoot,
but we're starting to lose the light.
Cleopatra:
Isn't there anything you can do?
Georgios:
I never imagined that this photo session would take so long...and go to so many different places...
Georgios:
This problem would be solved if we just had a reflector, but I didn't bring one this time.
Georgios:
This oversight is absolutely my fault.
I'm terribly sorry.
Fujimaru 1:
Reflexer?
Mash:
No, Master. He means a reflector,
a device that redirects light...
Mash:
During a photo shoot, it can adjust the intensity and direction of the subject's lighting.
Mash:
I hear that photographers have many uses for them.
Georgios:
It's exactly as Mash explained.
What I need right now is a white reflector.
Georgios:
Hm. Maybe I should go back and retrieve it...
Well, some white cloth might get the job done, but...
Fujimaru 1:
A white cloth... Is there one around here?
Mash:
I'm sorry, I don't have one, either.
Mash:
There couldn't be one just conveniently lying around...
Cleopatra:
!?
Mash:
Y-you're...!?
D：???:
...A-ahem.
D：???:
I am...a mysterious...Medjed-looking...being.
You...two. Come...here...
Cleopatra:
A-am I dreaming!?
Is a life-sized Medjed talking to me!?
Cleopatra:
...And where are you taking Master and Mash!?
Cleopatra:
Are you going to give just the two of them some kind of special protection or something!? I'm almost jealous!
Mash:
Ummm, what are you doing here, Nito–
D：???:
Shhhh!
D：???:
...(Whisper, whisper)...
Mash:
O-okay. You're saying that even though you prepared a swimsuit, you couldn't go swimming much in it...
Mash:
And so you came here to this beach to try to make use of that swimsuit...?
Mash:
But that's not a very regal thing to do, so you don't want us to let Cleopatra know you're here.
D：???:
And so...right now...I am not...this Nito-something. Under...stand?
Mash:
Y-yes...so you just want us to keep this a secret. Understood.
Mash:
Now that I think back,
Cleopatra wasn't around during the summer races...
Fujimaru 1:
Wasn't she on her honeymoon?
Fujimaru 2:
Wasn't she stalking Caesar?
Cleopatra:
Hey, over there!
How long are you going to be chatting behind my back?
Cleopatra:
It would be nice if you would introduce me to this person with the exceptionally godly aura!
D：???:
I...am. Just a...god...who's passing...by.
Nice to...meet you...Cleopatra...
Cleopatra:
My...what wonderful manners!
And it is quite knowledgeable.
Cleopatra:
But then, it is the great Medjed!
I knew you would know my name...!
Cleopatra:
Oh...this is the first time I've spoken with the great Medjed, so I'm a bit nervous!
Cleopatra:
My heart is racing like the first time I met Caesar... Could this be...love...?
D：???:
...
Cleopatra:
Ugh...but the great Medjed possesses beauty that could even stand alongside my own unabashed!
Cleopatra:
I mustn't take a photograph now...not with such greatness present. I know better than to show disrespect before a god.
D：???:
By...the way. What...were you...doing?
Photo...graph...?
Fujimaru 1:
You see...
Georgios:
...That's what happened.
These are the photos we have taken so far.
Georgios:
Unfortunately, none of these have met with my client's satisfaction.
D：???:
Hm...I...see...
D：???:
...
D：???:
I see...what her...intent...her purpose...is.
Then...I shall...assist...
D：???:
If you need...something white...I can...be...of help...
Cleopatra:
The great Medjed is going to act as a reflector!?
We are not worthy!
Cleopatra:
But this may be what is necessary to make my special photo shoot worthy! Ah, what a conundrum!
D：???:
How...ever...
It comes...with a...price.
D：???:
Show me...your beauty...
Do so...and I will...help.
Georgios:
I'm thrilled that you will help us out, but...whatever do you mean?
Mash:
That is a fair question.
Let me ask. U-um...
Mash:
“Look at me. If I helped freely, appreciation of the great Medjed would diminish.”
Mash:
...That was Medjed's response.
Cleopatra:
I see. I understand.
Cleopatra:
This is a trial. I am being given a divine revelation saying I am to receive the blessings of Medjed, and that I shouldn't be satisfied with my current state, and that I must continue pursuing beauty further!
Cleopatra:
...Then I shall happily undertake this trial!
--BATTLE--:
Georgios:
If you would, please move a bit more to the right.
Yes, right there. The lighting is just perfect.
Georgios:
Now here we go. Say “cheese.”
Fujimaru 1:
Wait, how come I'm in this picture, too?
Georgios:
Hm, what do you think?
I believe this is one of our best yet.
Cleopatra:
Yes. There's nothing wrong with the photo.
But...
Georgios:
You're still not satisfied?
Cleopatra:
No... You know what, we should try thinking about this differently.
Cleopatra:
If we're not getting the result we want even after all these attempts, it means we're not lacking something... But maybe there's something...conflicting...
Cleopatra:
The issue is...pinpointing what exactly it is.
Fujimaru 1:
Maybe it's because I'm in it...
Fujimaru 2:
Maybe it's better if it's just Cleopatra...
Cleopatra:
Nonsense. If that were true, there would be no point in this endeavor in the first place.
Mash:
...?
D：???:
The key...is...the point...of this...endeavor...
Cleopatra:
...!?
Cleopatra:
Yes. You're right.
Great Medjed, you read me like a book.
Cleopatra:
We should have never tried to match the background to me.
Cleopatra:
The most beautiful subject in this photo is undoubtedly me, but I should not be the photo's focus.
Fujimaru 1:
...Huh?
Cleopatra:
Then I will focus on matching the background with the main subject. Let me ask you, Master.
Cleopatra:
What backdrop do you think would be the most fitting for you?
Mash:
Well, I didn't think it was going quite this way...
Mash:
But I believe you just have to think of the most fitting place for a photo shoot, Senpai.
Mash:
Where would that be?
I will go wherever you like.
Fujimaru 1:
Hmmmm, let's see...
Mash:
Eh? This is Chaldea's Command Room...
Here?
Fujimaru 1:
Of course. Let's take it with everyone else too.
Cleopatra:
If you insist, then I don't mind letting the other staff members join in. But why here?
Fujimaru 1:
I'm here thanks to everyone's efforts.
Cleopatra:
So that's why you think this is the most fitting backdrop for you. ...Well, that's fine.
Georgios:
Then let's see how this one goes. I want everyone to get closer to the middle, closer to Master.
Georgios:
Yes. That's it. Here we go...
Cleopatra:
Let me see how it turned out.
Cleopatra:
...I see.
So this is how it was supposed to be.
Cleopatra:
This is fine.
I believe it turned out splendidly.
Mash:
I inadvertently got into the picture next to Senpai, too...
Mash:
But it looks like this photograph has finally satisfied Cleopatra.
Cleopatra:
Yes. I'm satisfied. Now take a look at this picture,
Master. Now do you understand?
Fujimaru 1:
About, what?
Fujimaru 2:
I'm sorry I still don't understand...
Cleopatra:
...Do I have to spell everything out for you?
Don't you get it?
Cleopatra:
This is a picture that encapsulates my eternal beauty, alongside you...who are also beautiful.
Georgios:
Weren't you always saying that it was ill-matched the whole time?
Cleopatra:
I was never talking about the matchup between Master and me.
Cleopatra:
My captivating beauty, and while [♂ his /♀️ hers} could never be a match for mine, my beautiful Master...and a background that embraces the two subjects.
Cleopatra:
That was what was badly matched.
Fujimaru 1:
Eh? But I don't think I'm beautiful...
Mash:
...No, Senpai. If you look at that photograph, Cleopatra and I are both in agreement.
Mash:
This photograph taken in the Command Room with you, Cleopatra, and all the staff...
Mash:
Everyone's smiling...and in the center of all that, you're smiling, too.
Mash:
I'm not able to properly put it into words, but the photo has a very warm feel, and it's dazzling.
Cleopatra:
You've always been like that, Master.
From the moment you summoned me, to be exact.
Cleopatra:
But...it seemed like you yourself didn't realize it.
Cleopatra:
And so I thought, if you had just one photograph of yourself standing beside me, you would realize just how beautiful you are...
Cleopatra:
And yes, you would understand.
That's what I thought.
Georgios:
Hm... So you went through all this trouble just so you could make Master realize that.
Cleopatra:
Not exactly. That was just the process.
What I truly want to tell Master is beyond that.
Mash:
???
Cleopatra:
You said it right from the beginning, Mash.
I rarely visit My Room. And that's the problem.
Cleopatra:
What I mean is...
Cleopatra:
WHY DON'T YOU INVITE ME OVER MORE OFTEN?
Cleopatra:
Yes, it seems Master is afraid of me, or is keeping [♂ his /♀️ her}
distance from me out of reverence.
Cleopatra:
It's true that I am a beautiful pharaoh. There is obviously a great disparity between our ranks, so being somewhat intimidated is understandable.
Cleopatra:
But that should not matter.
Take a look at the photograph once again.
Cleopatra:
You can see the beautiful Cleopatra and...and the less beautiful, but still very beautiful Master.
Cleopatra:
So, you should have more confidence! At the very least, know that I have absolute confidence in myself.
Cleopatra:
Which means...no matter how plain they look or how boring they act, a human who is able to summon someone as beautiful as me must surely be beautiful!
Mash:
That's...true. Self-centered and maybe unfounded, but true, Cleopatra...
Mash:
But I think the thought behind it is meant to be complimentary to Master...
Mash:
Or rather, now that I think back,
perhaps it's always been that way...?
Georgios:
Hm. A truly noble beauty like her may only be able to compliment people...
Georgios:
...in roundabout ways that are bound to sometimes lead to misunderstandings.
Cleopatra:
Listen, Fujimaru. I know very well that you're the plainest of all plain people.
Cleopatra:
But the mere fact that you are my Master gives you a leg up over all the other boring people out there.
Cleopatra:
That's why you don't have to be so afraid of me, and should interact with me more. I may even listen to some of your requests, too.
Cleopatra:
Of course, this all assumes that you show the utmost reverence and respect for my beauty!
Cleopatra:
Now, is there something you'd like to ask of me? Why don't you grovel at my feet and beg a favor like the powerless human you are?
E：???:
Ultimately, I believe she wanted to let you know that she wants you to rely on her more.
E：???:
Teehee. I guess that's the only way she could convey such a sentiment.
Fujimaru 1:
Yeah, got it.
Fujimaru 2:
I feel like we're closer now.
E：???:
Yes. Hearing that from you...
E：???:
While I'm not even close to being as capable as she is, and though saying this may be overstepping my boundaries, I'm relieved.
E：???:
She can be difficult and may be misunderstood quite often...
Cleopatra:
Oh? I thought I heard a familiar voice...
D：???:
Getting...along...beautiful...
My job...here...done...
D：???:
Farewell...
May the pharaoh...be blessed...
Cleopatra:
Oh! Great Medjed! Please wait! Even I acknowledge your form as the embodiment of beauty!
Cleopatra:
Actually, I love you, so I want a photo!
Can I take a picture with you!?
Mash:
Teehee... Until now, perhaps I was keeping my distance from Cleopatra.
Mash:
After all, she's a queen, the world's most beautiful woman, and a pharaoh.
Mash:
But after this ordeal, I feel like I understand her a little more.
Mash:
She may have odd ways of saying things,
but she still lets those she approves of know it.
Mash:
In some ways, she's quite fair.
Mash:
She believes her standards are absolute, and never compromises. She's a pure, strong-willed person.
Mash:
That may be what makes her the ultimate beauty.
Where the Heart Is
Cleopatra:
...The ideal body! That is what I seek!!!
Cleopatra:
Indeed, has there ever been anyone in history who has not endeavored to sculpt their body into a monument to absolute physical perfection?
Cleopatra:
Of course not! And that's why we're here!
Is that clear, Master!?
Fujimaru 1:
C-crystal?
Cleopatra:
No! I can tell your heart isn't in this!
I don't need hollow reassurances!!!
Fujimaru 2:
The ideal body...
Cleopatra:
That's right. The ideal body.
Do you know what I mean?
Cleopatra:
...No, I can see you don't.
Cleopatra:
(Sigh)...
Cleopatra:
So I have to explain this whole thing again, do I?
Well, I won't! Besides, as my secretary, you should already know what I mean!
Cleopatra:
You only get to be a pharaoh's secretary because you truly understand them!
Cleopatra:
Now, begin the preparations!
Fujimaru 1:
Preparations?
Cleopatra:
To help me get in shape, obviously!
Cleopatra:
You have my permission to activate the simulator!
Cleopatra:
After all, there is no better way to get in shape than exercising, and there is no exercise more effective or beautiful than my Pharaoh Fighting Style!
Cleopatra:
I already practice for an hour every morning to maintain my looks and my health, of course, but that's not the same as using it in live combat.
Cleopatra:
Which is why now is the time for live combat!
Cleopatra:
...Or at least, it would be, if something would attack us. (Sigh) Where's a pack of marauders when you need them?
Cleopatra:
Anyway, since I can't count on actual enemies to invade in accordance with my workout schedule, I decided to compromise and use the simulator with some help from other Heroic Spirits here.
Cleopatra:
I trust you understand all that now?
Fujimaru 1:
More or less!
Cleopatra:
Good! That was a beautiful answer!
Now, let us be on our merry way!
Fujimaru 2:
What if someone's already using the simulator?
Cleopatra:
Oh, right. I hadn't thought of that... Well, if that turns out to be the case, that will just mean fate has chosen to aid me by providing me with an opponent!
Nitocris:
...Yes?
Nitocris:
I was just using the simulator to check up on my battle summons...
Nitocris:
Is there a reason you came all this way?
I don't want to be rude...
Nitocris:
...but couldn't you just set the simulator the way you want for your own training?
Cleopatra, what are you–
Cleopatra:
No. No, Pharaoh Nitocris.
No more words.
Cleopatra:
What I need right now is not talk, but exercise. Hard, strenuous, fat-burning exercise! I can't possibly get that from mere NPCs.
Cleopatra:
Now go on, don't hold back. Hit me with your best shot! On my honor as pharaoh, I can take whatever you throw at me!
Nitocris:
(Sigh)... All right, if you insist...
Nitocris:
...Are you sure about this, Master?
Fujimaru 1:
It's okay. Please spar with her.
Fujimaru 2:
I'm her secretary right now, so whatever she says, goes.
Nitocris:
V-very well then. I'll admit, fighting another Servant should help with my own training too!
Nitocris:
All right, here goes!
Nitocris:
...Come forth, my armies of the dead! Come forth from my mirror, and show my enemies the power of a pharaoh!
--BATTLE--:
Cleopatra:
Phew! Not bad!
Cleopatra:
But, it still seems like something's missing...
You weren't holding back, were you, Pharaoh Nitocris?
Nitocris:
No, I was taking it fairly seriously.
But I see that wasn't enough for you.
Cleopatra:
Hmm, I'm afraid not! Between this place and the minions you summoned, this just wasn't what I needed!
Cleopatra:
This is not what I had in mind for my ideal exercise routine. Master!
Fujimaru 1:
I know. You want to try a different place?
Fujimaru 2:
You want to try the next area in the simulator?
Cleopatra:
Right!
--ARROW--:
Paracelsus:
Well now. I certainly didn't expect to see you here.
Paracelsus:
What's that? You're looking for combat training partners? I see.
Paracelsus:
In that case, perhaps my homunculi and golems would do the trick? I was just trying my hand at some automata as well.
Cleopatra:
Very well. It will be interesting to see how much of a sweat these creatures can help me work up.
Cleopatra:
All right, come at me!
I'll take you all on and look beautiful doing it!
--BATTLE--:
Cleopatra:
...Well, they were certainly worthy opponents, but I'm afraid they just aren't beautiful enough for my tastes.
Cleopatra:
Hmm... Finding the ideal exercise routine is a lot more difficult than I expected...
Paracelsus:
Cleopatra, last of the pharaohs, I apologize that my creations failed to meet your expectations.
Cleopatra:
No, it's all right.
I am the one who should apologize.
Cleopatra:
Forgive me for simply moving on without properly rewarding you for your efforts.
Cleopatra:
I'll make it up to you by throwing you the finest banquet you will ever see. Oh, I'll have to invite Pharaoh Nitocris too.
Cleopatra:
Now then...
Master!
Fujimaru 1:
Yup, I know.
Fujimaru 2:
Time for the next area?
Cleopatra:
Come, let us be on our way!
--BATTLE--:
Cleopatra:
That was most satisfying. Just what I would expect from an area modeled after my own Egypt.
Cleopatra:
But, I'm afraid it all feels a bit too familiar.
Cleopatra:
They were certainly strong enough opponents, but it just wasn't quite exciting enough to really make my skin glow!
Cleopatra:
...This really is difficult, isn't it?
Cleopatra:
I guess the ideal workout, and the ideal body aren't things that can be obtained overnight...
Cleopatra:
But I'm not going to give up! Not after I've already come so far! Right, Master!?
Fujimaru 1:
You're definitely not one to give up, that's for sure.
Fujimaru 2:
On to the next area then?
Cleopatra:
Yes! This time, I'm going to find what I'm looking for!
--ARROW--:
Cleopatra:
...
...
Cleopatra:
This is...the ocean.
Cleopatra:
...Why am I doing all this?
Cleopatra:
Why am I putting myself through so much strenuous exercise? Why couldn't I be satisfied with Pharaoh Nitocris's workout, or the desert's?
Cleopatra:
I'm sure those questions have crossed your mind at least once or twice, my secretary.
Cleopatra:
Why am I working so hard to improve a body that is already perfect?
Cleopatra:
I don't blame you for wondering. You must find it more intriguing than any of the Seven Wonders of the World. I doubt even that famous detective could understand.
Cleopatra:
The truth is–
Fujimaru 1:
You're looking for the ideal body, right?
Fujimaru 2:
...Is this about Caesar?
Cleopatra:
Hehe, you really don't understand.
I don't blame you.
Cleopatra:
But my search for the ideal body is not for me.
I seek it for another.
Cleopatra:
Namely–
Fujimaru 1:
Caesar?
Cleopatra:
...Huh?
Cleopatra:
Uh, y-yes, that's right.
...Wait...
Cleopatra:
Ho-how did you know!?
Are you some kind of genius!?
Cleopatra:
I knew you were a hard worker, Master, but I didn't think you were actually one of the greatest sages of all time... You might even be wiser than Diogenes.
Cleopatra:
A-ahem. I suppose it is obvious by now, but yes, you're right.
Cleopatra:
This is all for my darling Caesar.
Cleopatra:
The ideal workout routine is not to help me achieve an ideal body, but to help Lord Caesar slim down!
Cleopatra:
What sort of arduous battle will best ensure he gets into shape?
Cleopatra:
That's why I've been going to such great lengths...
Cleopatra:
...And now (sigh) I've ended up at the ocean. A virtual ocean that can't possibly lead back to Alexandria.
Fujimaru 1:
You really want him to lose weight that badly?
Fujimaru 2:
Don't you love him just the way he is?
Cleopatra:
...This isn't just about looks.
Cleopatra:
Though that's not to say looks aren't part of it! They're super important, you know! But I never chose my dear Caesar for his looks alone!
Cleopatra:
...It's my son, Caesarion.
Cleopatra:
My child who faced down Rome all on his own,
and died just a few days after me.
Cleopatra:
The true last pharaoh ever to walk the earth.
Cleopatra:
I...I want my dear Caesar to accept him as his rightful son and heir...
Cleopatra:
...and to do so in the same beautiful body he possessed on that fateful day.
Cleopatra:
...
...
Cleopatra:
I know it's too late to change history. I know the past will stay the past, no matter what he says now.
Cleopatra:
But, even so...I still want him to say it.
Both for my beloved son's sake, and for my own pride.
Cleopatra:
It's the only way my son and I will ever be able to rest in peace...
Caesar:
Are you sure that's what you want?
Caesar:
Wouldn't being at peace mean that you would no longer have the need to materialize in the present world?
Cleopatra:
Lord Caesar!?
Caesar:
You've finally found a Master you trust enough to accompany you wherever you choose to go.
Caesar:
Do you really want to throw that beautiful bond away just because of something I said?
Cleopatra:
I...!
Cleopatra:
Oh, Caesar! Please don't say things like that. I just had this idea when I was washing my face this morning!
Cleopatra:
Please don't make me second-guess my amazingly beautiful decision to see it through now.
Fujimaru 1:
Uh, yeah, we can't have that...
Cleopatra:
No, we can't! I'm reminded yet again of just how very good Caesar is with words!
Fujimaru 2:
I get ideas when washing my face all the time too.
Cleopatra:
Exactly! They just...come to you, as though they were a revelation from the heavens or something!
Caesar:
(Hmm, you really are second-guessing yourself now.
Ahh, what a good woman you are.)
Caesar:
(Being around you makes me want to be a better person, and that is no mean feat. But right now, love of my life, I must bite the bullet and tell you what you need to hear.)
Caesar:
Cleopatra, Master there is the only person you have ever known that you are willing to accept as your secretary.
Caesar:
Unlike us, you two had no existing bond to speak of.
It was destiny that brought you two together.
Caesar:
I promise, I'm not going anywhere. So I urge you to cast your mind back and remember once again.
Caesar:
Surely you don't need to hurry to your death so quickly, do you? Yes, when you were alive, your beautiful light was snuffed out all too soon...
Caesar:
...but does that mean you must do the same now?
No, it absolutely does not!
Cleopatra:
Lord Caesar...
Cleopatra:
I didn't know you cared so deeply for me...
Cleopatra:
Or for Master...!
Caesar:
That is why, my beloved Cleopatra...
Caesar:
...I will never lose weight!
Cleopatra:
!!!
Nitocris:
!!!
Caesar:
That is all. Master, I will allow you to continue to shine bright by my Cleopatra's side.
Caesar:
I understand the bond you share is special,
and not at all akin to cheating. So I will allow it!
Caesar:
In turn, my dear Cleopatra...I trust you will allow me a little freedom of my own.
Caesar:
My eye may wander juuust a bit from time to time, but that's not cheating either. Really. I'm talking just a teeensy little bit of ogling.
Cleopatra:
Hell no!
Caesar:
Curses!
Cleopatra:
That request would be enough to ruin a romance that lasted a hundred years, but fortunately, my determination stretches back over two thousand years!
Cleopatra:
It may have taken approximately two thousand and one hundred years, but at last, your time has come! Prepare to die, Lord Caesar! And to finally lose some weight as well!
Caesar:
Never!
Cleopatra:
That's the one thing you refuse to back down on, is it! Well, there are some things I won't compromise on, either!
Cleopatra:
Master! My secretary! I'm fairly tired after all that exercising, so it's time for the FP Fighting Style!
Cleopatra:
Don't look at me like you have no clue what FP stands for! It stands for “Final Pharaoh,” of course!
Cleopatra:
Fortunately, my makeup is already perfect for a beachside backdrop! Are you ready to shine bright with me, Master!
Fujimaru 1:
Ready!
Fujimaru 2:
I'll shine as bright as I possibly can!
Cleopatra:
Very well then... Let us begin!!!
--BATTLE--:
Caesar:
I-impossible...!
Caesar:
I can't believe you saw through my golden sword!
Caesar:
Hmm, maybe you do have a point. As impressive as my swordsmanship is, my body does limit how I can employ it.
Caesar:
Well done, Cleopatra.
And, Master? If I may make one last request?
Caesar:
Please...take care of Cleopatra in my absence!
Caesar:
Ahh... Wait for me, Caesarion!
I'm coming to join you, my son!
Caesarion's Voice:
(Uh, that's okay. I'm fine on my own. Really.)
Cleopatra:
Wha–
Cleopatra:
N-no! No, no, no, no! Caesar is...g-gone...?
This can't be happening...
Cleopatra:
Ahh...! Ahh, ahhh...!
I... I...!
Cleopatra:
What have I done!?
Cleopatra:
Caesaaaaaaaaar!
Nitocris:
...
...
Nitocris:
So, um, it turns out I've been here all along, but never mind that. I don't think you have any reason to worry. He didn't disappear; he just changed into his spirit form.
Nitocris:
Besides, this is the simulator. Nobody disappears in here unless there's a really, really serious accident.
Cleopatra:
What!? B-but, but he was shimmering and everything!
Cleopatra:
I thought the only time Heroic Spirits shimmer like that is when their Spirit Core has been destroyed and they're about to completely disappear...
Nitocris:
Well, um, I'm guessing that's because he also has the kind of sparkling charm that you do?
Nitocris:
Maybe just spending so much time with you was enough for it to rub off on him...? Or something like that.
Cleopatra:
!
Cleopatra:
I don't believe it...
Then, this means...!
Fujimaru 1:
He ran off on you again.
Fujimaru 2:
Sorry, Cleopatra! It sucks, I know.
Cleopatra:
Grrrrrrrrr, I can't believe it! He was shimmering so much I just assumed he was truly disappearing!
Cleopatra:
...Well, there's no point crying about it now. Besides, pharaohs don't get discouraged. Devastatingly depressed at times, maybe, but not discouraged. Besides, that was a long time ago.
Cleopatra:
Anyway, Caesar was right about at least one thing.
Cleopatra:
Master... My very first secretary.
Cleopatra:
Now that I've promoted you to such an esteemed position, I would be a failure as a pharaoh if I didn't ensure you enjoyed each and every day you spent serving me.
Cleopatra:
Wouldn't you agree? Yes, of course you would.
No need to answer that!
Cleopatra:
I want you to feel overwhelming joy and pride in being my secretary, and in having summoned me...
Cleopatra:
...So it's all right if you hold off on completely fulfilling my wish until you do.
Fujimaru 1:
Does that mean you're okay with Caesar not losing weight then?
Cleopatra:
Absolutely not!
Cleopatra:
That is an entirely separate issue!
Cleopatra:
Now then, let us go for a walk on this beach until the sun has set! In fact, we should call Mash and have her join us as well. Oh, and Pharaoh Nitocris!
Nitocris:
Yes?
Cleopatra:
I would like to demonstrate the glory of the Double Pharaoh sparkle to my secretary. I trust you don't mind!
Nitocris:
Ah... Must I?
Cleopatra:
I. Trust. You. Don't. Mind?
Nitocris:
(Sigh) Fine, fine. If you insist.
Cleopatra:
Wonderful! I knew you would understand,
queen of the heavens!
Cleopatra:
Very well then...first, I'll need to change into a swimsuit. The finest swimsuit ever made that is sure to suit me per–
Nitocris:
Oh, in that case, I have an idea. Why don't you try this Medjed outfit made with a new kind of–
Cleopatra:
No, thank you! I don't have the courage to wear something imitating Lord Medjed!
Cleopatra:
At this moment...
Nitocris:
(Shock)
Cleopatra:
...I'm looking for something on the cutting edge of fashion, such as an outfit from Paris Fashion Week!
Cleopatra:
I always shine bright in all my endeavors,
and that's not about to change anytime soon!
Cleopatra:
Now, let us all be on our way!