Edward Teach
A Man's Battle
Blackbeard:
Big trouble, Mistah Fujimaru! Big trouble!
There's a big trouble a brewin'!
Mash:
Mistah Blackbeard... I can estimate with 99% probability that it's something stupid, but what is it?
Blackbeard:
Bwaha, Missy Mash has got a sharp tongue on her, don't she? But I like that, I do!
Mash:
...Blackbeard,
Master is actually pretty busy.
Mash:
There's a lot of work to be done with the Servants.
Right, Senpai?
Fujimaru 1:
Did something happen?
Fujimaru 2:
Mash, isn't Mistah Blackbeard...
Blackbeard:
With all the Grail business goin' on, I forgot about it, but today's an important day in history.
Blackbeard:
I remembered that it's a historical turning point, I did.
Dr. Roman:
Today? Hmm... What happened today?
There's nothing in Chaldea's database.
Blackbeard:
Today's when all the pirates of the Caribbean gather for the biggest event of the high seas!
Blackbeard:
The Pirate Market!
AKA PaiKet, begins today!
Blackbeard:
Now, Missy Mash, Mistah Fujimaru!
Repeat after me!
Blackbeard:
PAIKET!
Fou:
Fou...
Mash:
...So Doctor, about that Singularity.
Dr. Roman:
Oh right. I rescanned the data and it turns out that era–
Blackbeard:
Hnnng LOL Just the right amount of salt!
It just makes me wanna try harder!
Blackbeard:
Come on, guys, whadd'ya got to lose?
Blackbeard:
Come with me, and enjoy the flourishment of a new human culture!
Fujimaru 1:
I guess it wouldn't hurt...
Mash:
If you say so, Senpai...
Fujimaru 2:
I can't miss this!
Mash:
Senpai!
Mash:
Dozens of ships linked into one big event venue.
These people... What are they doing with their lives...
Blackbeard:
LOLOLOL How I've missed that salty Caribbean air!
Ya know, there's something I gotta say here!
Blackbeard:
Caribbean, I'm back!
Bwaha-LOLOLOL! Ahahaha! ROFL!
Pirate:
We've been waiting for you, Mistah Blackbeard!
They only hold the PaiKet every few years!
Pirate:
It's an honor to be here with you,
the famous PaiKet warrior! Ahahaha-LOLOLOL!
Mash:
Um...Mistah Blackbeard, who are these people?
Blackbeard:
They're the comrades I've gathered via the internet! I've prepared carefully in advance.
Blackbeard:
Even I'm not foolish enough to attempt to conquer this place on my own!
Dr. Roman:
So what do you do here, exactly?
It just looks like a bazaar to me...
Blackbeard:
There's records of pirate glories, navigational maps,
rare treasures, legendary treasure maps–
Blackbeard:
We've got the whole world, right here for the buying! Well? Sounds fun, right? Right?
Fujimaru 1:
So it's like a flea market?
Fujimaru 2:
What are you after?
Blackbeard:
That's my Master/Captain/CEO!
Getting right to the point!
Blackbeard:
Today I'm after the legendary pirate Francis Drake's rough sketches!
Blackbeard:
Oh, by roughs, I mean nudes okay?
Not just some crap somebody dashed off either, LOLOL!
Blackbeard:
I mean, I ain't interested in that old hag's nudes!
Not at all! 100%, no way!
Blackbeard:
It's just, you know... For my collection?
I wanna have em? Bwahahah-LOL!
Mash:
...
Dr. Roman:
Those were made with her permission, right?
Pirate Staff:
–We will now begin the 88th Pirate's Market.
Please remain calm and do not run–
Blackbeard:
...
Mash:
Looks like it's started.
What's wrong, Mistah Blackbeard?
Blackbeard:
Fool! Call me Cap'n here!
Men, are ye ready!
Pirate:
Aye, aye, Cap'n!
Blackbeard:
Listen up! We're pirates of the Caribbean!
We left our pride and lives behind in the sea!
Blackbeard:
We do what we always do: pillage, plunder, and kill!
That's all there is to it! Let's go, men!
Blackbeard:
First, we start with the night campers,
who are leading the charge toward us! Stay sharp!
Mash:
W-What's happening?
Dr. Roman:
A group's coming up from the rear at incredible speed...
Blackbeard:
YARGH! Send 'em to Davy Jones' locker!
Battle is a party, it's party time!
--BATTLE--:
Blackbeard:
Yar, that's the last of 'em!
Hmm? More?
Enemy Pirate:
It's been a long time, Blackbeard... You're going to pay for embarrassing our captain!
Blackbeard:
Hah, I don't even know who ya are!
Hey, Mash, Fujimaru!
Blackbeard:
Go on ahead!
I'm gonna slaughter these guys first!
Mash:
R-Right...
This is a bazaar, isn't it?
Fujimaru 1:
Thanks, Cap'n!
Fujimaru 2:
Don't die, Blackbeard!
Blackbeard:
Huh? Who do ye think yer talkin' to?
I'm Blackbeard, the devil of the Caribbean!
Blackbeard:
I ain't so far gone I need a wet-behind-the-ears kid to be lookin' after me! Get going!
Mash:
L-Let's just go, Master!
--BATTLE--:
Artist Pirate:
Ya just bought the last copy of
"100 Sketches of Francis the Old Hag!"
Fujimaru 1:
That was close, huh?
Fujimaru 2:
We finally got it!
Mash:
...L-Looks like we got the last one.
Let's get back to Blackbeard.
Dr. Roman:
Um, well...
What exactly is this?
Fou:
Foou...
Dr. Roman:
Oh, Fou...
I didn't see you there.
Blackbeard:
...Yar, looks like ya pulled it off.
Mash:
Blackbeard!
You're badly hurt!
Blackbeard:
Eh, I'm a pirate... It happens.
Just glad to have me head on me shoulders still.
Fujimaru 1:
Cap'n! With those wounds...
Fujimaru 2:
Blackbeard! Don't die on me!
Blackbeard:
Yar, look at you, all grown up now...
Hey, I got no regrets. I can die as a pirate.
Blackbeard:
This is the greatest treasure of 'em all... I just wish I could've seen the treasure I sought once before I died...
Blackbeard:
Bye-bye! It was a great life!
Farewell! Gwahahahahaha!
Mash:
Mistah Blackbeard...
Fujimaru 1:
Mistah Blackbeard...
Fujimaru 2:
Huh? Did that just happen?
Mash:
–Here's the sketchbook you sought.
Take it and rest in peace.
Fou:
Foou...
Blackbeard:
Bwah!? This is the PaiKet-only Old Hag Sketchbook?
There's a new issue out! A new one! I win!
Blackbeard:
I win at everything! I mean,
I've got huge respect for old hag Francis.
Blackbeard:
Though in my case, I like her, but less as a pirate.
Blackbeard:
More as a Pioneer of the Stars,
I'm a little weird that way, LOL.
Blackbeard:
Maybe it's Ferdinand Magellan's influence, ROFL.
Bwahaha-LOLOLOL, ahem, excuse me.
Blackbeard:
This is what makes PaiKet so great, lolol.
It's what makes me and the hag eternal, LOL!
Dr. Roman:
...
Dr. Roman:
Shall we go home?
Mash:
Let's go home...
Fujimaru 1:
Let's come back next year, okay?
Mash:
Huh?
Fujimaru 2:
I'm tired...
Fou:
Foou...