Hans Christian Andersen

Human Observation

Andersen: How are you, Master? It's good to see that you're not looking disgruntled today.

Andersen: I am so disgusted with my super-boring life that my brain has turned to stone.

Andersen: I feel like as if I've been transformed into a dumb monkey. I'm overwhelmingly lacking enrichment in my life.

Andersen: Look. Don't you have anything to say as my Master?

Fujimaru 1: Stone bread?

Fujimaru 2: Enrichment?

Andersen: Huh? You don't know the taste of a completely-dried bread? Scandinavians start their breakfast

Andersen: by forcefully washing down a piece of rock-like bread with a drink like lead-boiled water...

Andersen: Well, that trivia aside, what I want to say, Fujimaru, is...

Andersen: Give me something new to write about, or if you don't have anything, then give me some money. I'll have some fun at the bar to kill some time.

Mash: ...Senpai, Mr. Andersen is sounding more arrogant and reprehensible than ever.

Mash: Did you do anything to get on his bad side?

Fujimaru 1: I didn't do anything.

Fujimaru 2: Andersen is always like this.

Mash: So you say you're not at fault. Of course. That's what I remember, too.

Mash: Mr. Andersen. We don't have any resources to waste here at Chaldea.

Mash: Please behave yourself, and work on a new book. Personally, I request a sequel of The Little Mermaid...

Andersen: Tch. That story is so popular among women and kids.

Andersen: I wrote that story to mock the idiots in this world, so I don't understand why it would be taken as a touching tale.

Mash: What—M-Mister, what did you just say?

Andersen: I said, that is one of the worst trash that I ever wrote, you fool!

Andersen: Geez. I made the ending so obvious, but people kept calling it a tragedy or tragic love story.

Andersen: Not only is she finally released from love at first sight, but she even gets a soul as a reward in the end!

Andersen: Listen. The best part about love is when it's purely yours. That's my conclusion, at least.

Andersen: You ask me to write a sequel, but why can't you understand it would only drive Little Mermaid to further despair?


Andersen: Uh... What, you look like it's the end of the world. ...

Andersen: I'm saying, don't ask me to write a sequel to a story that ended already. It's the reader's privilege to imagine what happens after the ending.

Mash: ...

Andersen: ...Fine. If you don't have any money, some new inspiration will do.

Andersen: Take me wherever you can, Fujimaru. France would be nice for now.

Andersen: What are you doing, Mash? You're coming, too. We'll end up dying if it's just me and Fujimaru.

Mash: R-Right...

Mash: ...Whew. Is this place alright with you, Mr. Andersen?

Andersen: Yes. Anywhere is okay as long as I can stay away from my desk. Let's enjoy the city of France first...

Mash: Master, hostiles approaching! Looks like ghosts from the Hundred Years' War manifested using the Grail's power.

Andersen: Hmm. Soldiers from the past are reappearing? Interesting, why don't you play with them, Fujimaru?

Andersen: I'm against physical labor but I will bear with it to get something to write about. Make this battle a good one, yeah?


Andersen: Not bad. I never thought of this. But perhaps it was too late.

Mash: Mr. Andersen?

Andersen: Fujimaru, Mash. Let's move on to the next location.

Andersen: You went on quite a rampage in Rome, correct? Then let's head to the Italian Peninsula, where my heart belongs!

Fujimaru 1: I didn't do it by choice...

Fujimaru 2: I thought you said you hate physical labor...

Andersen: Skip the commentary, and you call yourself my editor? Let's go check the next observation object already!

Mash: Apparently, we've pushed his buttons as a writer. Let's just accept it and keep him company.

Andersen: I found you! How do you do? Take that!

Soldier: Ugh!

Soldier: What's wrong with you people! Especially that kid there! His face has "bad guy" written all over it!

Andersen: Wow, so aggressive! As expected of Roman Soldiers, their brains are always on vacation.

Mash: Mister, with all due respect. Anybody would get mad if a stranger suddenly threw a mud ball at their face.

Andersen: What? All I did was add fuel to the fire! Fujimaru, make sure you keep them alive this time, too!


Andersen: —Well. Now that we've finally ventured out into the ocean.

Pirate: Ohhhh, our prey is coming to us! Guys, this is a non-stop party!

Pirate: Should we strip them? Or strangle them? Ridicule them? Whatever. Let's just kill them and let off some steam!

Fujimaru 1: Are we surrounded?

Fujimaru 2: We're already in huge trouble?

Mash: Yes, this is what happens when Andersen fixes the coordinates right on a pirate ship!

Andersen: Hahaha. Sorry, I underestimated the pirates' IQs. I had no idea how dumb they actually are.

Andersen: They aren't worth observing. I'm going home. You guys go ahead and beat them up for me.

Andersen: They may be a memory of the sea, but they're still humans. Beat them to a pulp, and make them regret their actions.

Mash: You don't have to tell us! We'll do that! And you should reflect on your deeds for once, too!

Andersen: Gotcha. Oh, Mash, about the sequel to The Little Mermaid, can I base the Prince on those pirates?

Mash: Absolutely not!


Andersen: Now I'm satisfied. Good work, Fujimaru. I had an experience like no other thanks to you.

Mash: ...We're finally back. We had a rough time, huh, Master?

Mash: Aimlessly fighting through all those eras...

Mash: It was good combat experience for us, but why did you do it, Mr. Andersen?

Andersen: To observe people, of course. The weapons people of those eras used, how they fought.

Andersen: Even primitive combat reflects human thought. The differences of all those eras will make a great reference.

Mash: Observe people... Then, you must love mankind. Right, Mr. Andersen?

Andersen: Huh? Don't be stupid! I've no interest in mankind. I just needed data.

Andersen: Not only the soldiers, I learned something about you two as well. Maybe I will write it into a book someday.

Fujimaru 1: Thank you for that.

Mash: ...Being written about by one of the three greatest fairy tale authors, I'm embarrassed just saying it.

Mash: But I think it would be a great honor. Dr. Roman would get so jealous.

Fujimaru 2: I'll pass.

Mash: Huh...

Mash: Yeah, you're right. Count me out, too.

Mash: ...You're a more thoughtful person than I imagined, Senpai...

Andersen: You two get along so well. You're so easygoing.

Andersen: I made a contract with you as a Servant because I had no choice, but now I've changed my mind.

Andersen: It's hard to find partners for this crazy fieldwork, you know.

Andersen: I think I'll get a little more fired up from now on. A little. Very little. A tiny bit.

Mash: I'm glad I was able to help you write, Mr. Andersen.

Andersen: ...Don't you understand that's a separate matter? This is why I hate my readers...