Ibaraki Douji

Fire and Alcohol and Oni! Oh, My!

Mash:
We've arrived. Rayshift successful.

Dr. Roman:
Actually, why Rayshift to this era now?

Dr. Roman:
Even if the Singularity has been resolved, it's still a handful to prove your existence in that era...

Mash:
Yes...I understand that.

Mash:
Especially now, when we need to rest as much as we can before the decisive battle against the King of Mages.

Mash:
I also wanted Master to get some rest back in Chaldea, but...


Fujimaru 1:
It's not like I had a choice. I was forced.


Fujimaru 2:
It's hard to say no to Ibaraki...


Ibaraki-Douji:
Hahaha! Rest!? Like I'd let you rest! Cry!
Cry while you tell me what a terrifying oni I am!

Ibaraki-Douji:
People should cry in terror every time they see an oni like me! There's no peace or rest when I'm around!

Ibaraki-Douji:
...But now that I think of it...

Ibaraki-Douji:
If I were you, every encounter I had with Shuten would only end up with memories of bitterness and agony.


Fujimaru 1:
The way she teases me... Yeah...


Fujimaru 2:
True. So true.


Ibaraki-Douji:
Hehehe. I see, I see.
Yup, I think that a lo–erm... Never mind.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Anyway. The point is, Shuten is amazing. Her cruelty and evil are beyond any regular oni, and I need to follow that example!

Dr. Roman:
Well, do it in moderation.
So, Ibaraki, why'd you want to come here?

Mash:
...It's not just to stop Master from resting, is it?

Ibaraki-Douji:
Hmph. Nope. There's somewhere I wanna go.

Ibaraki-Douji:
We've got a lot of walking to do.
I hope you have your hiking shoes on.

Ibaraki-Douji:
...Actually, doesn't matter.
If you get tired or slow me down, I'll just drag you along!

Ibaraki-Douji:
And then you'll scream and cry and tell me how cruel and awful I am! Heehee... Just watch, and be amazed!

Dr. Roman:
It's really not a safe place for a stroll...
So why do you want to go there?

Ibaraki-Douji:
...Something smells. I can't leave it be.

Dr. Roman:
Smells...?

Ibaraki-Douji:
Eh, you'll see when we get there. I'll take the lead. Follow me.

Mash:
...Ibaraki's hyped up.
Let's just follow her, Master.


Fujimaru 1:
Maybe she found a tree that grows sweets...


Fujimaru 2:
Maybe she found a chocolate fountain...


Ibaraki-Douji:
A-as if! There's no such thing! Right? RIGHT!?


Fujimaru 1:
Actually, Uruk has a secret candy tree orchard.


Ibaraki-Douji:

WHAT!? Wh-where is it? Tell me! We're gonna stop by on our way! E-even if it's not on our way! WE WILL GO!

Ibaraki-Douji:
Hmmm... Just thinking about sweets makes my mouth water. Those are good. Such flavors are not possible within the oni realm.

Ibaraki-Douji:
And even I know how preciously rare they are.
I know that I mustn't have more than one per day.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Butbutbut...! If candy grows on trees...it'll never run out! And I can eat as much as I want!!!

Ibaraki-Douji:
Kwahahaha! Master, yes! You've given me the best news of my life! Candy! Unliiimited caaandy!!!


Fujimaru 1:
Just kidding.


Ibaraki-Douji:
...

Ibaraki-Douji:
...

Ibaraki-Douji:
YOU MONSTER!!!

Ibaraki-Douji:
Hm. This is kinda homey. Reminds me of Mt. Ooe. Everything in these forests is evil.

Ibaraki-Douji:
And obviously I'd be the boss of all this.
Not a lotta things out there as evil as a blood-crazed oni!

Dr. Roman:
I'm just going to say again that I never expected we'd come across an actual oni.

Dr. Roman:
I wasn't even sure we'd be able to communicate properly...

Dr. Roman:
Not least because of how incredibly violent you were in Rashomon the first time we ran into you...

Dr. Roman:
But since your Madness Enhancement seems to be mixed with your oni nature, you seem to be one of those Berserkers that can converse normally.

Dr. Roman:
I'm glad we were able to get along,
unexpected as that was.

Ibaraki-Douji:
An oni getting along with humans...

Ibaraki-Douji:
Cut the nonsense, onmyouji. I am an oni. That's a human. There's no getting along for us.

Ibaraki-Douji:
This human is...y-yeah...totally terrified of me!

Ibaraki-Douji:
The only relationship we have is the kind between a frightening tyrant and a whimpering, terrified kid!


Fujimaru 1:
(It's so cute when she tries to be scary.) Terrifying. Truly.


Ibaraki-Douji:
Yes, yes! I knew it! Of course it is!

Ibaraki-Douji:
That dull, warm gaze and your dumb face twitching in a terrified half-smile is all the proof I need!

Ibaraki-Douji:
And onmyouji... Just because I'm an oni doesn't mean you can look at me like a circus freak. I'll eat you.

Dr. Roman:
I'm not an onmyouji. We're called doctors.
And, well...sorry.

Dr. Roman:
I see now that I was being insensitive.
I'm sorry I upset you, Ibaraki.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Hmph. Whatever.

Ibaraki-Douji:
So are oni really that rare in this era? If you went to Mt. Ooe back in the day, there were tons around.

Mash:
You mentioned that mountain earlier...
Is that your homeland, Ibaraki-Douji?

Ibaraki-Douji:
Homeland? I guess you could call it that.

Mash:
What kind of place was it?
You said it was similar to here...

Ibaraki-Douji:
It's a mountain where the oni I led gathered.
We even built a palace there.

Dr. Roman:
An oni palace... Sounds incredible...

Ibaraki-Douji:
Hm. Without that, the oni would be no different than mere beasts.

Ibaraki-Douji:
I won't tell them to live like humans, but we need our pride. That's why we need food, clothes, and shelter.

Ibaraki-Douji:
...I guess thinking like that is what made me stand out from all the other oni.

Ibaraki-Douji:
But that's my problem.
My time spent as an oni was glorious!

Ibaraki-Douji:
I led mighty oni troops and we rampaged through the capital in the Heian period. There was Kuma-Douji, Torakuma-Douji, Hoshiguma, Kanekuma...

Ibaraki-Douji:
And my bestest number one companion and loving blood sister...Shuten.

Ibaraki-Douji:
We raided and pillaged human cities all the time. When we were done, we went back to the mountain to rest.

Ibaraki-Douji:
And when we wanted more, we took it!
Just thinking of all the fun we had makes my heart race!

Dr. Roman:
I see. Your story is...disturbing, but it sounds like you were happy.

Dr. Roman:
You rounded up a bunch of freewheeling oni and made them into a gang.

Dr. Roman:
Oni are powerful, but alone they can be killed by a group of humans. That's why you decided to band together.

Dr. Roman:
Yep, yep. No mean feat. You had the gift of foresight. Might even have been wasted on an oni, really.

Ibaraki-Douji:
...Not really. I just acted according to my mother's teachings.

Ibaraki-Douji:
The only one who kept to her own principles, lived in luxury, and ruled as an evil, cruel oni was Shuten.

Dr. Roman:
Ah, Shuten-Douji. She is certainly extraordinary. Honestly, calling her an oni might be selling her short.

Dr. Roman:
Hm? Speaking of which, where is she?
She's not with you this time?

Ibaraki-Douji:
No need. I don't wanna bother her with this.
...This way. Let's get this over with before she wakes up.

Mash:
Oh, okay.
Let's go, Master.

Dr. Roman:
Maybe it's my imagination...but I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this...

???:
...Ah...ahhhhhh...

Mash:
...What's that...!?

Dr. Roman:
It reads almost like a Servant...or not?
Is it some sort of remnant...?

Ibaraki-Douji:
...Ha. That scent... I smell it. Is it you?

Ibaraki-Douji:
You smell of oni, female warrior!


Fujimaru 1:
!?


Ibaraki-Douji:
My current form limits my ability to detect things a bit, but I'm sure you know very well yourself.

Ibaraki-Douji:
There was supposedly a Heroic Spirit who was summoned to this land and later defeated.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Judging from the state of the battlefield...
I'd say there were flames. Flames like mine.

Ibaraki-Douji:
With flames intense enough to scorch your own body, you incinerated the enemies around you. ...I see that kind of intensity and desire. Am I wrong?

Mash:
A female warrior...who died in Uruk?
We did not meet her...

Mash:
But I have some information on her.

Mash:
A Servant named Tomoe Gozen sacrificed herself to defeat the Demonic Beasts' commander, Girtablilu.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Ah. So that means those are her charred remains.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Of course they are. I'm sure you know, but we oni are the epitome of sloppy.

Dr. Roman:
Are you saying Tomoe Gozen was an oni!?

Ibaraki-Douji:
Based on her scent, not exactly.
Maybe she was descended from oni.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Though I'm sure she has more direct lineage than that Fuuma kid.

Tomoe Gozen?:
Ah...ahhhhhh...!
AHHHHHH!!!

Ibaraki-Douji:
She has no sense or will. Just mindless violence.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Or perhaps... She absorbed some power from that, umm... Girta...waffle? Maybe that's why she's losing control.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Not that I can blame her for losing her mind after being incinerated along with her enemy.


Fujimaru 1:
What a delicious-sounding enemy...


Fujimaru 2:
Tastiest enemy ever.


Ibaraki-Douji:
Kwahahaha, in name only!
It certainly doesn't SMELL delicious.

Ibaraki-Douji:
That thing's just an imitation oni.
A writhing, burnt husk.

Mash:
Ibaraki-Douji... You knew about this...?

Ibaraki-Douji:
No. I just wanted to get rid of the source of its stench before Shuten noticed it.

Ibaraki-Douji:
There was no way for me to recognize the smell.

Dr. Roman:
Get rid of it...? If Tomoe Gozen is descended from oni, don't you feel some kinship with her?

Ibaraki-Douji:
Maybe if it was the real thing, but that's just a remnant. Looks like there's other stuff mixed in, too.

Ibaraki-Douji:
There's no need to question its existence.
Human, what would you do in my place?

Ibaraki-Douji:
If the mostly dead remnants that smelled of your kind were mixed with other, unknown things...

Ibaraki-Douji:
If all they did was writhe around and lash out violently...

Ibaraki-Douji:
...what would you do?


Fujimaru 1:
Sounds like a zombie movie to me...


Fujimaru 2:
I've seen this movie. I know how it ends.


Mash:
...I see.

Mash:
When you put it that way, Ibaraki's approach seems...understandable.

Mash:
I obviously do not know what an oni scent–

Tomoe Gozen?:
Gu...ah...ahhh!!!

Mash:
Well, I know it's something we can't just leave here.

Mash:
Even if she was a great Servant who stopped the invasion of the Demonic Front and we are indebted to her...

Mash:
...all this remnant does is pose a danger to an era about to be restored.

Tomoe Gozen?:
berserk1!

Dr. Roman:
Oh no. It looks like you've got her attention!
She doesn't seem at all friendly!

Ibaraki-Douji:
Kukuku... So you noticed my scent.
Gonna try and eat me and make me a part of you, eh?

Ibaraki-Douji:
Well as a proper oni, lemme tell you:
You're pitiful! Pathetic! Wretched!

Ibaraki-Douji:
Know your place. I'm the one who's gonna eat you!
My name is Ibaraki-Douji!

Ibaraki-Douji:
I'm the leader of the oni of Mt. Ooe! The one who drowned the Heian capital in blood and terror!

--BATTLE--:

Tomoe Gozen?:
Ibara...ki... Yes... You...returned... How wonderful...

Ibaraki-Douji:
...?

Tomoe Gozen?:
Please...laugh...at me... I'm lower...than an oni...
I... I couldn't...acknowledge you...

Tomoe Gozen?:
I...stomped all over...Girtablilu's heart...
He said I...was beautiful...

Tomoe Gozen?:
But... But I told him...that it was impossible...
Impossible for an oni to...understand humans...

Dr. Roman:
...Threat response...completely gone.
Good work.

Ibaraki-Douji:
What the hell? Did she know me?

Ibaraki-Douji:
...Never mind.
I knew it. It was neither fun nor delicious.

Ibaraki-Douji:
I'm just glad that it didn't cause trouble for Shuten.

Mash:
Master... Look how sad she looks...

Mash:
She's just standing there staring at the spot where the enemy fell...


Fujimaru 1:
Well, she was talking about her comrades...


Mash:
You're right. She talks big, but they were both oni.
She probably has a lot on her mind.

Ibaraki-Douji:
...If only you were more than a remnant...

Ibaraki-Douji:
If you are truly descended from oni, come to Mt. Ooe.
I am the leader of the oni. I will not refuse you.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Maybe, if I feel like it, I'd share a human liver with you... No...I wouldn't like that, but I'd share wonderful foreign sweets or two to you...

--ARROW--:

Dr. Roman:
...Whew. Who knew there'd still be irregularities in an era even after we fixed the Singularity?

Dr. Roman:
Maybe it's because of the concentration of magical energy in Uruk. But no matter what, you managed to take care of it. Come back with your heads held high–

Ibaraki-Douji:
No.

Mash:
...?

Dr. Roman:
Huh?

Ibaraki-Douji:
I said “no,” onmyouji.

Dr. Roman:
I'm a doctor, not an onmyouji! Ugh, never mind that.
Are you saying that you're not coming back yet?

Ibaraki-Douji:
Indeed.

Ibaraki-Douji:
There are other places to go.
Accompany me, Master.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Refuse, and I'll drag you.


Fujimaru 1:
The poison of selfishness somethingsomething...

Ibaraki-Douji:
Eh? Poison? No thanks. You know, though...Shuten would even drink up poisoned alcohol if it involves THAT man.


Fujimaru 2:
(...Oh! Right!) How, uh, evil...of you...?

Ibaraki-Douji:
Hm? What did you just say? Hey, what did you say???
I couldn't hear you! Say it again!

Ibaraki-Douji:
Bwahahaha! I knew it! I'm such a great oni, I even scare myself! Good! Cry more! Scream more!

Mash:
Master... What a wonderful way to handle her.
You really are kind!


Dr. Roman:
Well, I guess you did lead with your nose...?
That helped us out.

Dr. Roman:
If there's another place you need to go to, I'm sure you have your reasons.

Dr. Roman:
I'd rather not think about it, but I can't guarantee there isn't another remnant like before.

Mash:
Yes. Even with the Singularity resolved, we do not know for sure what would happen if we left it alone.

Mash:
Besides...


Fujimaru 1:
Besides?


Mash:
Ibaraki...has always been kind of charming, even cute...

Mash:
Like when she butts heads with Raikou and Kintoki, or when she's getting bullied by Shuten, or when she's eating sweets.

Mash:
But back there...when she acted like a proper leader of the oni... I was impressed.

Mash:
Seeing that really cast her in a new light. I think I want to see more of this side of her. Or...something like that...


Fujimaru 1:
...Right.


Ibaraki-Douji:
Hey, what are you two babbling about?
If we're going, let's get a move on!

Mash:
Wow...

Mash:
I'm not sure if this is from correcting the Singularity, or whether this is all thanks to the survivors...

Mash:
But the city is very lively now!

Dr. Roman:
Not quite so much as when you first arrived,
but it is still impressive.

Dr. Roman:
Glad to hear it.
So is your next destination somewhere around here?

Ibaraki-Douji:
Yes, but we need to walk a bit more.
Still...

Ibaraki-Douji:
Hm. What a lively city.
If Shuten were here, she'd be thrilled.

Mash:
Yes. Uruk is King Gilgamesh's city!
I'm sure it's rowdy in a lot of ways.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Right. Being lively and bountiful is good.
That makes the pillaging more fun!

Mash:
...Um, Ibaraki?

Ibaraki-Douji:
I'm kidding. This isn't the Heian capital where I ran amok. Besides, I don't have Shuten nor my minions.

Dr. Roman:
(...Does that mean she would run amok if they WERE here?)

Mash:
A-anyway...

Mash:
I see that you really do have strong feelings for Shuten. You mention her frequently.

Mash:
I can tell you are always mindful of her.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Shuten and I spent a lot of time together, like siblings.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Among all the oni on Mt. Ooe, she was the only one I saw as an equal, not an underling.

Ibaraki-Douji:
And not just in terms of rank.
I have a lot of respect for the way she lived her life.

Dr. Roman:
Hm. Would you listen to my story in all seriousness?

Dr. Roman:
In many of the stories about oni, Shuten-Douji is said to have been the leader of the oni in Mt. Ooe...

Ibaraki-Douji:
And there's a reason for that. Shuten was flashier, stronger, and more dangerous than all the rest of us.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Even when we attacked the capital, she was the one who stood out.

Ibaraki-Douji:
She seeks pleasure, after all.

Ibaraki-Douji:
She lived to drink, pillage, kill, eat...
Just watching her was fascinating.

Dr. Roman:
(For humans, I'm sure watching her was utterly horrifying...)

Ibaraki-Douji:
Anyway. We're almost there. This way.

Mash:
Yes. But how come we're going through so many alleyways...

Mash:
...Oh! We're in front of the ziggurat!

Dr. Roman:
I can't believe this. The Sacred Temple watches over Uruk. There's no way ghost would be lurking around here.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Shut up. I smell something. This way.

Dr. Roman:
It's hard for me to believe that a threat would be hiding under HIS watchful eye, in his kingdom...

Ibaraki-Douji:
...?

Ibaraki-Douji:
You guys have got it all wrong.
What I'm looking for is the treasury.

Dr. Roman:
...

Dr. Roman:
Whaaa...!?

Ibaraki-Douji:
Don't make me say “shut up” again.
I'll rip out your throat.

Mash:
I thought this was just more of what we talked about earlier!

Mash:
Like some sense of duty as the leader of the oni to clean up oni remnants... Something like that...

Ibaraki-Douji:
...? Isn't this exactly the sort of thing the leader of the oni should do? Oni loot and pillage.

Mash:
B-but you just said you wouldn't attack this city...

Ibaraki-Douji:
Not the city itself, obviously. I wouldn't be able to do that on my own. But I never said I wouldn't steal some treasure.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Besides, I want to bring a souvenir back for Shuten.

Ibaraki-Douji:
We're talking about the king's treasury, so I'm sure there's some incredible treasure here that outshines whatever's in the Heian capital.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Wine Shuten would enjoy... A hairpin that would look good on her... A kimono that would accentuate her beauty...

Ibaraki-Douji:
And this is a grand treasure vault. Some super delicious sweets that I've never even imagined must be stored here as well.

Ibaraki-Douji:
...Th-those are totally a gift for Shuten! I just...need to taste-test them in case they're poisoned... Yeah...

Ibaraki-Douji:
Kuhahaha...

Ibaraki-Douji:
I wonder if I can carry them all out...?

???:
I thought I smelled something unusual, so I came to see for myself. What a bold bunch of thieves.

Dr. Roman:
He's here!!!
Hm? But...

Mash:
That's right, Doctor. King Gilgamesh is...

Dr. Roman:
Wh-who's that?? Are you human? Or a ghost?
A Servant!? Um...?

Gilgamesh:
Fool!
This is MY city, MY castle, and MY treasury!

Gilgamesh:
Whether I am on my throne or in the underworld, OF COURSE I would come to see the mongrels who dare attempt to rob it.

Gilgamesh:
It would be far stranger if I did not!


Fujimaru 1:
We shouldn't think too much of this guy!


Fujimaru 2:
This king is no different than the other ones...


Mash:
A-anyway, allow us to explain ourselves, King of Heroes. There's a good rea–

Gilgamesh:
Silence! You have nothing to say that I need to hear!
You all need to learn your place!

Gilgamesh:
...Although, I did see what you did with Tomoe.

Gilgamesh:
Because of that, I will excuse some of your behavior.
You may wander my city. You may sneak into my palace...

Gilgamesh:
...but I WILL NOT show an ounce of mercy to those who dare to raid my treasury!

Gilgamesh:
This is beyond disrespect! This is treason! Anarchy!
You will learn what it is to earn my wrath!

Ibaraki-Douji:
A golden man... Gah, so garish. And he's so intense... That's no ordinary man!

Ibaraki-Douji:
...Well, hm... He does seem kinda familiar...
Or, well, he makes me a little fidgety.

Ibaraki-Douji:
It's this weird sort of discomfort...like when I need to sit down in front of Mother because I'm in for a scolding...


Fujimaru 1:
Oh yeah, King Gilgamesh summoned Banana...


Fujimaru 2:
Oh yeah. Didn't Ushiwakamaru scare her off?


Gilgamesh:
I have not forgotten your desertion in the face of the enemy. That, also, is not excused by your good deed in ending Tomoe Gozen.

Gilgamesh:
You may not technically be the one I summoned, but you shall take her punishment regardless.

Ibaraki-Douji:

Unnngh...unnngh... I don't know what you're talking about! I feel like I do, but I don't!

Gilgamesh:
Just like Chaldea's Master, what you know or don't know does not matter!

Gilgamesh:
I shall be the judge, jury, and executioner for your crimes in trying to steal from my treasury!

Gilgamesh:
Brace yourselves, fools! If you want to live, fight with all your power, or suffer my wrath!

Mash:
This...is no good!
Let's hang in there as best we can, Master!

--BATTLE--:

Gilgamesh:
Fwahahahahaha! I'm just warming up!
I shall even put on my armor for you!

Gilgamesh:
Burn my regal, glorious presence into your minds!

Ibaraki-Douji:
Why you... This is why I hate golden guys!
They're flashy, blinding, and they just piss me off!

Dr. Roman:
You do know that your main color is gold, right?

Ibaraki-Douji:
It is in good taste! Mother picked it out!
It doesn't just sparkle all the time like that thing!

Gilgamesh:
You're quite tenacious for a mongrel.
As a reward for your spirit, I will call it a day.

Gilgamesh:
Rejoice. I shall show you the contents of the treasury that you so coveted.

Gilgamesh:
Gate of Babylon!

Ibaraki-Douji:
This is the end!
I have no other choice!

Mash:
...Ibaraki-Douji!?
Why are you covering me and Master–

Mash:
...!?


Fujimaru 1:
We're, uh, really high up...!


Fujimaru 2:
Waaaaaahhh!?


Ibaraki-Douji:
Close your mouth tight or you'll bite your tongue!

Dr. Roman:
It's no use. Even though Ibaraki-Douji could jump over the gate of Rashomon, a point-blank hit there will be fatal!

Dr. Roman:
...There's...no attack!?

Dr. Roman:
Could this be...Ibaraki-Douji's “Disengage” skill that lets her avoid or flee from enemy attacks?

Dr. Roman:
The legend where she was the only one who managed to flee from Raikou's four oni-slayers... The legend of her escaping even after Watanabe-no-Tsuna took off her arm is–

Ibaraki-Douji:
Shut up, onmyouji! How dare you mention that hateful Minamoto! It's making me wanna KILL!

Mash:
I agree this is no time to be chatting!
Doctor, please prepare for Rayshift!

--SECTION BREAK--:

Gilgamesh:
Hmph. Mongrel.

???:
Shall we go after them, King Gilgamesh?

Gilgamesh:
No. Leave them be.
She is only doing what is in her nature.

Gilgamesh:
Never pursuing dignity or honor... She wouldn't hesitate to turn her back on all that mattered if it meant she would survive.

Gilgamesh:
How ugly...how pitiful...how beautiful that is.

Gilgamesh:
...I remember now. That's why I gave up on her. There was no point forcing her to be my dog. A beast will live and die as a beast. That is all it can do.

???:
Yes, but...what about the crime of attempting to loot the king's treasury? Shall that be overlooked?

Gilgamesh:
I told you: no more than a beast.

Gilgamesh:
She was simply drawn to the scent of my treasures as a wild dog to meat. No more than a stray lurking near the front door.

Gilgamesh:
There's no need to chase such a creature to its lair for the kill. Of course, should she return, I won't hesitate to crush her.

--SECTION BREAK--:

Shuten-Douji:
(Yawn) ...I am so booored...

Shuten-Douji:
Hm? Ibaraki. Welcome back. Where have you been?

Ibaraki-Douji:
...

Shuten-Douji:
???

Ibaraki-Douji:
I'm sorry, Shuten. I meant to bring back a souvenir for you... But I couldn't...

Shuten-Douji:
Well, I don't even know where you've been.
Don't worry about it.

Shuten-Douji:
But more importantly, I was bored because you left me alone.

Shuten-Douji:
My sweetie wasn't here, and when I tried to pick on the brat, he ran away as usual.

Shuten-Douji:
And Raikou didn't even come and try to take my head off...

Shuten-Douji:
If you're talking about a souvenir, you coming back is the best present, Ibaraki.

Ibaraki-Douji:
!!!

Shuten-Douji:
I sense some large battle about to begin.

Shuten-Douji:
The best way to lighten the mood is drinking.
Well, I drink all the time, but keep me company, Ibaraki.

Ibaraki-Douji:
Oh. Okay. Yeah... Okay.

Ibaraki-Douji:
...O-of course...!

Shuten-Douji:
So where were you all this time?

Ibaraki-Douji:
Ku... Kuhahaha. I may not have a souvenir, but I have stories to tell! Listen to all of my glorious feats!

Ibaraki-Douji:
I did what only a true oni could ever do! Master cried like a baby! The people trembled in fear...in the hundreds...no, thousands!

Shuten-Douji:
...? (Sniff, sniff) Hm, I smell an unfamiliar oni on you.

Shuten-Douji:
Don't tell me... You abandoned poor, lonely Shuten to go have fun with another oni?

Shuten-Douji:
How could you... I'm... I'm going to cry...

Ibaraki-Douji:
N-n-n-n-n-no! Absolutely not! It's not what you think! L-listen, Shuten! I can explain!

Shuten-Douji:
... (Sob, sob)

Ibaraki-Douji:
Sh-Shuteeeeeen!!!

Shuten-Douji:
(Ah, Ibaraki is truly the best entertainment to go along with my alcohol. I never get tired of her...)