Ishtar
Ishtar's Eleven
Ishtar:
Hi! What a wonderful day here in Chaldea, don't you think, Master? By the way, I have something to ask you.
Fujimaru 1:
Uh...I forgot there's something I needed to do...
Fujimaru 2:
The exit's over there.
Ishtar:
What kind of response is that!?
Just sit and listen! You too, Mash!
Mash:
Eh? Me too?
Ishtar:
What I want to talk about should be obvious!
We need to discuss my reward.
Mash:
Reward...? But there's no record of Senpai ever asking you to do anything...
Ishtar:
Well, no, not here in Chaldea. But if you remember,
I did something really big back in Uruk.
Mash:
Oh.
(Right, the Three Goddess Alliance incident.)
Ishtar:
Now do you remember? If MY memory serves,
I was never compensated for my services.
Ishtar:
In exchange for my invaluable assistance, you promised me some valuables from you-know-who's treasury...
Ishtar:
Ten percent?
Twenty percent?
Ishtar:
Or was it thirty percent!?
Fujimaru 1:
How do you know that!?
Fujimaru 2:
How'd she find out!?
Ishtar:
Did you really think you could keep that from me? As if! You'd be lucky if I let you slither away from my shrine like a snake, trying to pull a stunt like that!
Ishtar:
I bet HE was the one who talked you into that scheme. But that won't fly with me!
Mash:
W-well, at that time...
Mash:
It's true that we were all in a dire situation,
but I believe the terms set by Master were valid!
Ishtar:
Yes, they were valid. And that's why you're going to keep your word, correct?
Ishtar:
Forsaking an oath made to a goddess is a grave,
grave crime.
Ishtar:
Normally, I'd punish you by dropping you into my mini Venus so you could suffer in its incredible winds for a decade or so...
Ishtar:
But since we're such good friends, Fujimaru, we'll set that particular punishment aside.
Ishtar:
Honestly, making such a huge bluff in a situation so dire took real guts, which means you must be a reliable Master.
Ishtar:
But...
Ishtar:
Any oath I make binds me as well,
even if it's just a verbal contract.
Ishtar:
I'm sure you all know what happens if an oath a goddess makes is broken...right?
Fujimaru 1:
Right...Quetzalcoatl...
Fujimaru 2:
That's...not good...
Ishtar:
Exactly.
I'm glad you're keeping up here.
Ishtar:
In this case, if you do not give me my promised reward, you will face swift and severe divine punishment.
Ishtar:
It's up to you whether Chaldea here ends up like Mt. Ebih.
Fujimaru 1:
Making Chaldea into an awfu–err, awe-inspiring shrine!?
Fujimaru 2:
Did you hear that, Mash?We'll be so much closer to the underworld.
Mash:
Senpai, this is no time to be joking around!
We need to do something!
Mash:
Ishtar isn't the sort to make idle threats!
Myth and our own experience make that very clear!
Ishtar:
Wait a minute. What do you mean your experience?
Do you actually record my mistakes (read: evil deeds)!?
Mash:
Well, Kid Gil mentioned that may come in handy one day. We expect the collected edition to be at least three full volumes.
Ishtar:
There's no way I'd mess up three times in the same place!!! ...Uh, I mean...teehee...
Ishtar:
Anyway! None of us will benefit from Chaldea's destruction.
Ishtar:
So let me propose something to you.
Ishtar:
I'm heading somewhere to collect a reward, and if you help me out, I will forgive your debt and crimes.
Ishtar:
What do you think? It's not like I'm going to steal Fujimaru's savings or anything. Don't you think this is an amazing offer?
Mash:
Working as your collections agent?
Based on what you were saying, you mean...
Fujimaru 1:
You want us to go THERE, don't you...?
Fujimaru 2:
So, I must risk my life for money now...
C：Mash:
Rayshifting complete.
We have arrived at a ruin in Babylon, Master.
C：Mash:
King Gilgamesh mentioned that he created an underground treasury the size of a city.
C：Mash:
It's surprisingly vast, and taking even ten percent of its contents may be very...very difficult.
Ishtar:
No, my standard fee is THIRTY percent!
Ishtar:
Plus the fine incurred for trying to trick a goddess who fought all by her lonesome!
Ishtar:
Then there's the compensation for all my pain and suffering!
Ishtar:
Oh, and there's interest accrued over the last five thousand years!
Ishtar:
When we add together all the penalties, late fees, expenses incurred, commission, and a few other items,
I suppose I can let you off with...
Ishtar:
...half the contents of the treasury.
C：Mash:
Half!?
Fujimaru 1:
Seems legit.
Fujimaru 2:
Thought we were going a “multiple treasuries” sort of direction.
Ishtar:
Hmph. Well, there's not much point in trying to collect from the dead.
C：Mash:
Oh right...King Gilgamesh is already...
C：Mash:
Huh? Um, but if that's the case...
Ishtar:
You're thinking that a great goddess like me could easily smash through the front door if it's just a storehouse whose owner is gone...
Ishtar:
That's what you think, right?
C：Mash:
Yes.
Ishtar:
Unfortunately, his treasury doesn't work like that.
It's still active even after it lost its owner.
Ishtar:
Even as an enemy, I have to admit it's impressive.
C：Mash:
Does that mean...
Ishtar:
Yes, the security measures are active.
They're as persistent as their former owner was miserly.
C：Mash:
Wait! While we're talking, I'm detecting an enemy nearby! Preparing to intercept them, Master!
--BATTLE--:
Mash:
Battle is over.
That sure was a lot of Lancers, wasn't it, Master?
Ishtar:
Did you see that!?
They were all targeting me!!!
Mash:
Now that you mention it, enemy placement was very efficient, as if anticipating Ishtar's every move...
Ishtar:
Right!?
That formation was downright malicious!
Ishtar:
It was like they knew I float, and attacked every time I tried to jump into the fray!
Ishtar:
But it looks like they didn't expect me to bring a reliable assistant, knowing something like this would be waiting!
Ishtar:
Um, Mash, stand in front of me...just in case. Ahhh, now I feel safe! Yep, you really are a shield for humanity!
Mash:
I-Ishtar!
P-please don't ruin our formation...!
Ishtar:
Fine, fine. Always the bashful one, aren't you, Mash?
Do you not like physical contact or something?
Ishtar:
...Enough playing around.
Let's just smash our way through the door!
Ishtar:
But I am kind of relying on you. So please keep protecting me and Fujimaru, okay♡?
--ARROW--:
Ishtar:
Teehee. Since half of everything here is mine,
I can just start taking whatever catches my eye, right?
Fujimaru 1:
Indeed.
Ishtar:
Yep, yep!
Now you're starting to understand! Woo!
Fujimaru 2:
That's how conquerors usually talk.
Ishtar:
Th-that's not true! I deserve this reward!
I worked really, really hard, if you recall!
Ishtar:
I even shattered the foundation of my own city, Uruk!
It was REALLY hard fixing everything after that!
Mash:
...Ishtar, would you mind if I asked you a question?
Mash:
I believe your shrine is already overflowing with wealth. Why do you love treasure so much?
Ishtar:
It's not that I love it.
This is just the way things are.
Mash:
...What do you mean?
Ishtar:
You think precious gems are beautiful because of how they sparkle in the light.
Mash:
Right.
Ishtar:
So, would you be able to tell the difference between a precious gem and a pebble in total darkness?
Mash:
No... I wouldn't be able to sense the difference in their magical energy, either.
Ishtar:
Exactly.
So in this example, I am the light.
Ishtar:
Gems I do not own are in the dark.
They simply exist, and are no different than pebbles.
Ishtar:
Once they are mine, the gems can properly shine, and those shining gems repay me for my light by making me more beautiful.
Ishtar:
I'm not sure if it's because of my innate Divinity, or if it is just how things happened...
Ishtar:
...but that doesn't matter.
The point is: I love things that enhance my beauty.
Ishtar:
And that's not just limited to treasures.
The reason why I rule beauty, war, and the harvest...
Ishtar:
...is that the ideal state of those Authorities is to belong to me. And things are at their most beautiful when they are in their proper place...right?
Mash:
Y-yes...
Ishtar:
You know...I don't remember being quite this infatuated with gems in the past...
Ishtar:
But now, whenever I see gems, I get this antsy feeling and can't help but think I need to collect as many as I can, whenever I can!
Mash:
That is likely an influence from your current vessel, Ishtar.
Mash:
...Admittedly, I do not know anything about your vessel or how she lived and came to think as she does...
Ishtar:
Who knows?
Ishtar:
It's not as if my tastes have changed, just gotten stronger. It might just be a phase.
Ishtar:
Oh look, look! That door!
That door looks like it's hiding amazing treasure!
Mash:
You're right... Its decorations are overwhelmingly ornate, and all based on Ishtar's tastes...
Mash:
But why would there be a door like that inside the treasury...
Fujimaru 1:
Oh, good. That's not suspicious at all...
Fujimaru 2:
Obvious trap is obvious.
Mash:
I concur, Master.
I sense only danger.
Ishtar:
What? It's fine!
Ishtar:
Security outside was super tight,
so they don't need as much inside!
Ishtar:
...Gyaaah!!!
Mash:
Oh no!
The door's eating Ishtar!!!
Ishtar:
(Pant, pant) What kind of sick freak makes a door-shaped mimic!?
Ishtar:
You have to build up to something like that!
Whoever designed this must be certifiable!
Mash:
Don't tell me all the doors here are...
Ishtar:
Nothing for it but to open every one of them up!
Yaaah!!!
Fujimaru 1:
Not an ounce of self-preservation...
Fujimaru 2:
I KNEW she would do something like this!!!
Ishtar:
Every single one was a trap!
Whoever made this treasury is a real sadist!
Mash:
Commencing...battle...
Let's just try to hold them back, Master!
--BATTLE--:
Ishtar:
What's with this place!?
It's all traps and guards... No treasure anywhere!
Mash:
Perhaps...
Fujimaru 1:
Maybe we're in the wrong place?
Fujimaru 2:
Maybe somebody gave you bad information?
Ishtar:
Not possible! Do you think I spend my days just aimlessly bombing things all the time!?
Ishtar:
Absolutely not!
Thorough intel gathering is the first step to victory!
Ishtar:
Gilgamesh could never fool me with a fake treasury!
Ishtar:
I tested the durability of each treasury to find the real one, and even made sure to perfectly conceal my efforts by destroying the evidence every time!
Ishtar:
The most durable treasury would surely be the true treasury! Don't you think?
Mash:
Ah...maybe. It makes sense to protect the real treasury the most thoroughly. That's the whole point of security.
Ishtar:
Right!? That's why I was sure this one was the right one, and I've been spending my days and nights examining its structure in flyovers!
Ishtar:
You know how I make a copy of Venus with my Noble Phantasm? Essentially the same idea.
Ishtar:
I've so thoroughly memorized the layout, it's as if it's been etched onto my Spirit Origin. I can walk through this place with my eyes closed!
Mash:
What spectacular dedication and diligence.
I expect nothing less from you, Ishtar.
Mash:
But even after all your efforts, you're still falling into every trap here... What does that mean?
Ishtar:
Eh...? W-well, they may be detailed copies, but they're all miniatures that can fit in my palm.
Ishtar:
I couldn't confirm all the internal structures...or copying the complicated structures and gimmicks...
Ishtar:
B-but, it should be enough if I can remember all the paths, right? Besides, it's such a pain to memorize the location of all the traps.
Mash:
These traps seem to have been placed specifically with intruders who know the layout in mind...
Mash:
In other words...
C：???:
Exactly.
C：???:
If one can predict how the sneaky rodent behaves,
then one knows exactly where to place the traps.
Mash:
!!!
Ishtar:
Th-that voice!?
Gilgamesh:
I suppose I miscalculated a bit in making my traps too weak, as these rodents are unusually sturdy.
Ishtar:
What!? Hey, you! What's the big idea,
coming out here and haunting this place!?
Gilgamesh:
Fool! I would never allow my death to be disturbed by something so trivial!
Gilgamesh:
But alarms kept ringing all through the underworld because YOU kept getting caught in my traps, and I couldn't stay dead even if I wanted to!
Gilgamesh:
And the Queen of Kur kept nagging at me, demanding I either go stop the alarm, or wring the neck of the idiot who keeps on triggering the alarm.
Fujimaru 1:
I'm sorry our terrible goddess is causing trouble.
Ishtar:
Hey! Don't apologize to HIM!
And did you just say “terrible”!?
Fujimaru 2:
She'll leave as soon as she is rewarded.
Gilgamesh:
Rewarded?
Ishtar:
That's right! You don't get to claim you forgot!
Ishtar:
I have a legitimate claim to half the treasure here as my reward!
Gilgamesh:
I had no idea what you were talking about at first...but ah, yes. That. Heh...
Gilgamesh:
How terribly unfortunate for you, Ishtar. You see, that agreement just reached its statute of limitations a mere day ago.
Gilgamesh:
Come, take a good look at the contract. Do you see this engraving here at the bottom left of the back side of the tablet that's only visible when you shine the sun's light directly onto it?
Gilgamesh:
“...However, in the event of Gilgamesh's death, or if no payment is made within fifteen days, this agreement shall be null and void.”
Gilgamesh:
Ah, how unfortunate. Truly unfortunate! Good for Siduri! That was marvelous advice on her part!
Gilgamesh:
Who could have foreseen a goddess like Ishtar making such a foolish mistake!
Ishtar:
Well aren't you clever, you goldy jerk! Looking at you, I'd much prefer the younger you than the way you are now!
Ishtar:
Besides, there's no such thing as a statute of limitation in an agreement made with a goddess!
Ishtar:
Either you pay up, or die!
Or would you rather I destroy you AND all of Uruk!?
Gilgamesh:
Hahahaha! I'm only telling you what is in the contract we signed. Besides, I'm already dead.
Ishtar:
Ugh!
No...that's not my point!
Ishtar:
If that's how it is, then I'm gonna drag you out of the underworld, revive you, and THEN KILL YOU AGAIN!
Ishtar:
And THEN make you pay up!
Gilgamesh:
You...really want to repeat your trip to the underworld yet again? Even I'm impressed with how much of a mess you're willing to make for your own selfish desires.
Gilgamesh:
That spirit of yours is the only thing worth praising! But since you're a grown-up, you should also be aware of how much of a pain you are!
Ishtar:
Right back at you!!!
Fujimaru 1:
(Nod in agreement)
Fujimaru 2:
(They're practically the same person...)
Gilgamesh:
Agh! Quiet! All of you, barbaric thief and her idiotic companions both!
Gilgamesh:
You've dragged me into this mess, and that itself would be irritating enough.
Gilgamesh:
I'm going to kick you mongrels out, stop the alarm, and go back to the underworld! I am NOT dying from exhaustion again now that I'm already dead!
Ishtar:
I'm not going to move a muscle until I get the treasure I'm owed, and I'm not letting you get away!
Mash:
Ishtar's starting to get incoherent in her anger...but we're going to have to fight, Master!
--BATTLE--:
Ishtar:
Now! Tell me where the treasures are!
And get rid of all your traps!
Gilgamesh:
Heh. Fool. Nothing could ever make me hand over my treasury to you.
Gilgamesh:
I transferred it well out of your reach a long time ago. This is just an extra bank deposit vault.
Ishtar:
No way!? How could a third deposit vault still reek so much of treasure!?
Ishtar:
Just how high is your Golden Rule ranked!?
Gilgamesh:
Hmph. It does make one wonder what too much wealth is. But in my case, I do not spend my fortune. I simply accumulate more riches.
Gilgamesh:
I am a true collector. My infinite collection of treasure exists, as I cannot be the true wielder of each and every one of them.
Gilgamesh:
But you can be neither collector nor wielder,
you useless goddess!
Gilgamesh:
You do not love your treasures, nor will they love you back in turn! You're the sort who comes and goes with all the constancy of a shooting star!
Gilgamesh:
So forget about weighing yourself down with more wealth than you can carry. Do not burden yourself with earthly treasures. Flying about in the heavens suits you far better anyway.
Mash:
King Gilgamesh disappeared...
We were able to see him again, but he left so quickly...
Ishtar:
...
Fujimaru 1:
Cheer up, Ishtar.
Fujimaru 2:
Shooting stars are still beautiful...
Ishtar:
...Hmph. It's okay.
I don't care. Not one bit.
Ishtar:
I won in battle, and he won't bother us again.
Ishtar:
But thanks for worrying about me.
That cheered me up a bit.
Ishtar:
But we're faced with another problem now.
If this isn't the Treasury of Babylon...
Ishtar:
...then all my research was for nothing. My plan (read: race) I came up with to get the treasure will need to be reexamined...
Fujimaru 1:
You may not have money, but you're a winner, Ishtar.
Fujimaru 2:
A flat-broke goddess is still beautiful.
Ishtar:
Is that supposed to be encouraging!?
Or are you mocking me!? Which is it!?
Mash:
I believe those are Senpai's true feelings.
Mash:
And what King Gilgamesh said before he left didn't sound like mockery to me, either.
Mash:
Don't you think that was his own way of acknowledging who you are?
Ishtar:
Hmph. Who knows? Being correct and being right aren't always the same thing.
Ishtar:
Even if he did praise me, I'd much rather have found out where the treasury is!
Fujimaru 1:
This was a lot of trouble for nothing.
Ishtar:
Ungh! That's the last thing I wanted to hear! Dummy! You'd better hold your tongue, Fujimaru!
Ishtar:
Listen! I'm never going to give up! I'm gonna redeem myself for my blunder at the Demonic Front!
Return of Ishtar
Mash:
Here you go, Senpai.
I tried making green tea today.
Mash:
...Oh, wow, these are tea stalks, right? I've heard it's good luck to have them floating in a cup of tea like this.
Ishtar:
Hellooo, Master! How're you doing today? Feeling good? Tip-top shape? Ready to fight at a moment's notice?
Ishtar:
Wonderful, wonderful! That's just how I'd expect the Master who restored humanity to conduct [♂ himself /♀️ herself}!
Ishtar:
I couldn't be prouder to have a contract with you♪ Though of course, I was already the proudest goddess around to begin with!
Ishtar:
Aaanyway♡
Ishtar:
On a completely different subject, I've got some good news, and some reeeally good news. Which would you like to hear first?
Fujimaru 1:
(In a most refined tone of voice) Good day, fair goddess.
Ishtar:
O-oh, right. Good day.
Ishtar:
...Nice of you to show me the proper respect. In fact, now you've got me thinking about my position around here.
Ishtar:
As the goddess of beauty, I should generally conduct myself in an elegant, ostentatious, more daring fashion.
Fujimaru 2:
Neither! Go away! LALALALALA!
Ishtar:
Cover your ears all you want.
It won't do you any good♡
Ishtar:
We're Master and Servant now, remember? If push comes to shove, I can always whisper right into your brain.
Mash:
Telepathic whispering...!
I didn't even know that was a thing you could do!
Ishtar:
But I digress. Since there's no way you're getting out of this, I'll be nice and fill you both in.
Mash:
Aah! Senpai, the tea stalks just scattered apart as if they'd exploded! And I didn't even touch them!
Mash:
I think I can already tell how this latest escapade is going to end up!
Ishtar:
Wow, really? That's great! This can only mean this is going to end in an explosively spectacular fashion!
Mash:
(I guess it shouldn't be any surprise at this point how relentless Ishtar can be when it comes to positive thinking!)
Ishtar:
Anywho, if you two have been around Uruk, you must also know about the Bull of Heaven, right?
Fujimaru 1:
Yup. Good old Gugalanna.
Ishtar:
That's right. He's the strongest being in all of Mesopotamia, not to mention my darling pet♡
Fujimaru 2:
The one you lost? Sure do.
Ishtar:
Never mind THAT part! The point is, his name is Gugalanna, he's my familiar, and he's the most powerful Divine Beast to ever live!
Mash:
Yes, of course we know that. I can't help but feel sorry for him...for so many reasons.
Mash:
I especially remember how sad it was when Gugalanna Mark II showed up only to leave again almost immediately.
Ishtar:
Right? No sooner did he come back than he was literally broken up about it. Poor Gugalanna☆
Ishtar:
Wait, no! What I'm saying is, I've been looking for him all this time, and I finally found him!
Ishtar:
...Well, maybe “found” isn't exaaactly the right word here, but trust me, it's such a small difference that it's really not worth worrying about.
Mash:
I'm sorry, Ishtar, but given your past record, I can't let you gloss over what you consider to be “small differences.” I have to ask that you be very exact with your wording.
Ishtar:
Wait, really? Why are you being so hard on me, Mash?
This isn't like you.
Fujimaru 1:
She's not wrong. You have gotten up to some major shenanigans...
Ishtar:
Hohoho, shenanigans? Why, whatever do you mean? Anyway, let's not dwell on the past. Especially when there's money to be made in the future!
Fujimaru 2:
I'm impressed. It takes a lot to make Mash this guarded.
Mash:
I-I don't know if I'd say I'm being guarded. And I do remember that the past incidents mostly ended positively...
Mash:
But the fact remains that every proposition you've gleefully brought us before has had a danger level of A or higher.
Ishtar:
I guess you're right... And I am sorry about that...or at least, I think I look like I am...
Ishtar:
But that's just hindsight speaking. It's not like I knew things were going to turn out the way they did.
Ishtar:
I've always just tried to do what I thought was best (...for me.)
Ishtar:
I'm the goddess of beauty and prosperity. I just want to resolve everything peacefully, so that everyone can be happy...
Mash:
Ishtar...
Fujimaru 1:
Aww, I'm touched...
Fujimaru 2:
I think we can at least hear her out, Mash.
Mash:
Yes, I agree. I'm sorry, Ishtar.
Mash:
If nothing else, I'm glad you managed to find something you lost. Is that the good news you had to tell us?
Ishtar:
I don't know if I like the “if nothing else” part,
but yes, it is.
Ishtar:
As for the reeeally good news,
I think it'd be better if I told you there.
Mash:
Told us where, exactly?
Ishtar:
Oh, you'll see. A picture is worth a thousand words and all that. Trust me, Master, when you see this, your eyes will practically be lighting up with stars♡
Mash:
That's...your temple on Mt. Ebih, in ancient Mesopotamia.
Mash:
Although, it looks a little different now than when we came here during the Grand Order. I'd almost say it's...decrepit?
Ishtar:
Not at all.
This is definitely the right place.
Mash:
I, uh, I see. Well, I certainly don't remember those enormous pillars being there the last time we–
Mash:
No, wait! Those aren't pillars at all! They're legs!
Ishtar:
Hehehe, you're absolutely right. Now try looking up.
Mash:
I-is that–!?
Fujimaru 1:
There's an enormous body up in the clouds!
Fujimaru 2:
I can't tell where the bull ends and the sky begins...
Ishtar:
Heh heh heh♪
Surprised?
Ishtar:
This bad boy is none other than my invincible bovine Divine Beast: Gugalanna, the Bull of Heaven!
Ishtar:
...Mark III.
Ishtar:
...Don't ask me why he's the third in line.
Trust me, it's for your own good.
Ishtar:
Also, to be clear, I want to keep this whole incident off the record, okay?
Ishtar:
Got it, Mash? No writing anything down about it in that event database thing, okay?
Mash:
I'll, um...take your request into consideration.
Mash:
Anyway, does this really good news you had to tell us have something to do with this Bull of Heaven?
Ishtar:
Hmm. Well, it's not entirely unrelated,
but no, it's not about him per se.
Ishtar:
Don't worry, there'll be plenty of time to discuss Gugalanna later★
Ishtar:
No, right now, I want to ask you this: do you know why I brought him here in the first place?
Mash:
!!!
Ishtar, you don't mean–!
Fujimaru 1:
I'm starting to get an extremely bad feeling about this!
Fujimaru 2:
You're not going to try to recreate your own mythology, are you?
Ishtar:
Hehehe... I knew I made a good choice for my Master.
You nailed it!
Ishtar:
It's time for my legendary revenge match, The Return of Ishtar! Get ready, Mesopotamia, 'cause I'm back and better than ever!
Ishtar:
Not only that, I made this Mesopotamia myself using the knowledge I gained at Chaldea, so it plays by Venus rules!
Ishtar:
I even modified chronology and causality to work pretty much how I want!
Ishtar:
Now, finally, I'm going to give that smarmy Gilgamesh and that obnoxious Enkidu the beatings they so richly deserve!
Fujimaru 1:
Now you've gone and made your own Singularity!?
Fujimaru 1:
Didn't you learn your lesson at the summer race!?
Mash:
P-please be reasonable, Ishtar! Think about it!
Mash:
If you go up against people from ancient epics like those two with the same fighting forces as before, you're just going to lose again! Please reconsider!
Ishtar:
You really think I don't know that?
Of course I've accounted for that.
Ishtar:
Why do you think I brought you two here?
Ishtar:
Speaking of which...ta-daaa☆
Mash:
Wh-what the!? Galahad's Spirit Origin reactivated!?
Ishtar:
Hehehe, we goddesses can do anything when we put our minds to it. Now there's nothing stopping you from fighting the way you did before.
Mash:
I mean, this is wonderful, and it's going to be a big help, but still! I'm so sorry about this, Galahad!
Ishtar:
Ugh, get the stick out of your ass already, Mash.
There's nothing wrong with a little cheating.
Ishtar:
Oh, by the way, I've got an even more special surprise in store for later, so you can look forward to that, too♡
Fujimaru 1:
I'm sorry, could you say that again?
Fujimaru 2:
Exactly what kind of surprises are we talking about!?
Ishtar:
Oh, don't worry.
Ishtar:
Even I wouldn't do anything that could overturn the Restoration of Humanity you two worked so hard to achieve.
Ishtar:
I arranged this stage solely for my own purposes this time. The only other people here are those I invited myself.
Ishtar:
I told you this was a Singularity, didn't I? I made sure ahead of time that nothing I do here would have any effect on human history.
Mash:
I, um...
I don't think that's what Senpai is worried about...
Ishtar:
Oh, are you talking about that existence verification thing you guys are always doing, since this time period's still unstable?
Ishtar:
Well, don't worry.
I'm handling all that stuff on my end, too.
Mash:
So you're even handling our existence verification? Well...I suppose it should be possible, since you made this Singularity yourself...
Mash:
I guess I shouldn't be surprised, since you are the great goddess of Mesopotamia... Though at the same time, I also can't help but wonder why an ostensibly great goddess is going to all this trouble...
Ishtar:
Oho, speak of the devil. Looks like I won't have to wait long for my first revenge match at all.
Ishtar:
Just one look at that killer doll is enough for me to see its murderous intent.
Mash:
Is that the real Enkidu!?
Mash:
No, wait. That's Enkidu, the Heroic Spirit...
Mash:
...but not Enkidu, the Servant who was summoned to Chaldea...
Enkidu:
...I'm surprised to see two figures so pure of heart alongside the malevolent presence I came here to deal with.
Fujimaru 1:
Hello, Enkidu.
Fujimaru 2:
(Something tells me I'd better not mention Kingu...)
Enkidu:
It seems you two have met me before,
though I have no recollection of that meeting.
Enkidu:
Unfortunate though that is, there is nothing I can do about it. Right now, I'm afraid I don't know much about anything except Ishtar there.
Enkidu:
I think the land itself–or possibly its lord–is what called me here.
Enkidu:
It's telling me:
“Destroy the invader threatening this world.”
Enkidu:
I wasn't summoned by the Counter Force, or even coerced into coming here at all, but I still agree with that idea.
Enkidu:
Even if this world is only fleeting and transient, that doesn't give anyone the right to do with it what they please.
Fujimaru 1:
Looks like we're the bad guys here, Ms. Goddess.
Ishtar:
Don't be silly, of course we're not! Besides, I'm a goddess of good, so everything I do must be good by definition!
Fujimaru 2:
Whaddaya gotta say to that, Boss?
Ishtar:
I'm not your boss! And who cares what that walking lump of clay thinks!? You shouldn't be listening to it!
Ishtar:
Anyway, you're half right, half wrong, Enkidu.
I'm the one who brought you here.
Enkidu:
...I see.
Enkidu:
You never learn, do you, Ishtar?
Ishtar:
I sure don't!
Ishtar:
I've never forgotten how humiliating it felt when you squashed me like that!
Ishtar:
It was so traumatic I still have flashbacks of it whenever I'm feeling really down.
Ishtar:
So as a sign of thanks, I'm going to return the favor right here and now!
Enkidu:
A sign of thanks, you say? Whether you're being sincere or sarcastic, I'm surprised that you're able to thank me at all for giving you a taste of defeat.
Enkidu:
Are you really Ishtar? Or did the shock of losing a fight cause you to lose your mind as well?
Enkidu:
Yes, I remember now.
These are the same legs I hit you with back then.
Enkidu:
Seeing how these pillars can easily level mountains, does that mean they also managed to knock some sense into you?
Ishtar:
Hmph. And here I went out of my way to summon you as a Heroic Spirit because I thought I'd feel bad about utterly wrecking your real body. I guess I didn't have to bother after all!
Ishtar:
Enjoy that smug look while you can, 'cause this is the last time you'll ever get the chance to use it!
Ishtar:
I'm going to crush you three times over as payback for what you did to me!
Ishtar:
Okay, Fujimaru, you're up.
Fujimaru 1:
Huh?
Fujimaru 2:
Come again?
Mash:
Ishtar, I think you really, really need to explain yourself now! And without glossing over any details!
Ishtar:
Sure, no problem.
Ishtar:
See, Mark III here is still sort of...warming up,
so he won't be much help for a while yet.
Ishtar:
And it doesn't help that the overgrown mud pie there showed up a little sooner than I expected.
Ishtar:
So I'm counting on you guys to keep them busy for a while, okay? Great, thanks!
Fujimaru 1:
I can't even with this deity...
Fujimaru 2:
Goddess-dammit!
Enkidu:
...This may be a strange thing to say to people I don't recall having met before, but...I'm sorry you got caught up in this.
Enkidu:
Unfortunately, I'm afraid I won't change how I fight. My job is to defeat my opponent, no matter who they may be.
Enkidu:
As for you, Ishtar, I believe I already warned you what would happen the next time we fought:
Enkidu:
“When next you are within my reach, you will suffer the same fate as the Bull of Heaven.”
Enkidu:
Now then... Let's get the reenactment of our epic battle underway, shall we?
--BATTLE--:
Enkidu:
Khh...!
Mash:
We somehow managed to incapacitate Enkidu, Master.
The battle is over.
Ishtar:
That's enough, Mash.
Nice work, Fujimaru!
Enkidu:
(The way they read my movements, it was almost as if... That's it. They DID know how I was going to attack. I see... They really do know me well.)
Ishtar:
(That aside...I'm impressed, Fujimaru. All you had to do was stall for time, but you actually managed to win. You really have grown, haven't you...)
Ishtar:
But, enough about that!
Ishtar:
Hohohoho! Poor little Enkidu!
How the mighty have fallen!
Ishtar:
You know, I think I enjoyed that waaay more than if I'd wiped the floor with you myself!
Enkidu:
(There it is again... This Ishtar seems to be considerably less self-centered than usual.)
Enkidu:
(For one thing, she actually recognizes other life-forms as beings worthy of respect.)
Enkidu:
(I never thought I would see the day...)
Ishtar:
Now then, what to do with you...
Ishtar:
Real talk here: You defied me not just once, but twice. I can't let you get away with that.
Ishtar:
I'm the goddess of beauty, prosperity, and war–a goddess among goddesses– the goddess who stands above all others in Mesopotamian mythology.
Ishtar:
Letting someone walk away scot-free after disrespecting me would set a bad example for all the other goddesses.
Ishtar:
That said...
Ishtar:
As the goddess of war, I'm also nothing if not gracious in victory. If you have anything to say in your defense, I'm willing to hear you out.
Enkidu:
Right. It's easy to forget given how you usually act...
but you are indeed the goddess of war and victory.
Enkidu:
As long as you have capable soldiers and command them ably, the very concept of defeat simply does not exist for you.
Enkidu:
Today, by employing an astrologer skillful enough to beat me instead of blindly trusting your own strength...
Enkidu:
...you have proven yourself worthy to be the goddess of war, and eliminated the one flaw holding you back.
Enkidu:
Perhaps I never had any hope of winning this battle to begin with.
Ishtar:
(Honestly, the fact that Fujimaru came through as much as [♂ he /♀️ she} did was just as much of a surprise to me, too...)
Ishtar:
U-uh, yes, exactly. Couldn't have said it better.
Ishtar:
Very well then, I'll take that as an admission of your guilt.
Ishtar:
Now I, Ishtar, shall pass judgment upon you, and in the name of Venus, I will punish you accordingly!
Ishtar:
Know that my punishment is a mercy I extend only to the vanquished, and be grateful for it.
Enkidu:
...I am but a weapon. I would never beg for my life after suffering a defeat. By all means, punish me as you see fit.
Enkidu:
Still, if I were to make one request, I would ask that you please spare me from being forced to serve as your weapon.
Mash:
Um, Ishtar? I think punishing Enkidu like this might be going too–
Ishtar:
(Don't worry. It'll be fine.)
Mash:
...!?
Ishtar:
Okay then, here you go.
Enkidu:
Huh?
Um... What is this?
Ishtar:
A clay tablet that proclaims how much of a loser you are for all the world to see. I even inscribed it myself.
Ishtar:
Now, you're going to wear that while standing in front of the gates of Uruk until I'm good and satisfi–I mean, ready to forgive you.
Enkidu:
I'm surprised, Ishtar. Is that really all you would demand of one who once openly defied you?
Ishtar:
I know what you mean. Before, I'd have torn you limb from limb on the spot. But when you think about it, that would all be over in a moment.
Ishtar:
So now, I think revenge like this where you get plenty of time for it to sink in is the way to go.
Ishtar:
Hehehe, trust me. I've been through it,
and I can say it's a lot harder than it looks.
Enkidu:
I have no idea what your game here is... Or perhaps I should say, I can't imagine what led to it.
Enkidu:
How in the world did the Ishtar I know end up like this?
Mash:
...In the Epic of Gilgamesh, Enkidu incurs the wrath of the gods for humiliating Ishtar and sending her back to the heavens.
Mash:
After a painful bout with a cursed fever, they fall prey to another curse they received when they defeated Huwawa.
Mash:
Enkidu then ends up dying in Gilgamesh's arms...
Mash:
...just as foretold in the prophecy that said they would never outlive him.
Ishtar:
Yup, good times. But this time, since my loyal underlings won, and I'm in an excellent mood right now...
Ishtar:
...I decided to hand down a more fitting punishment myself!
Enkidu:
...Now I see. Then this brings that matter to a conclusion.
Ishtar:
Hmph. That's not exactly what I had in mind, but if that's what you want to think, go ahead.
Enkidu:
Back then, all I wanted was for my dear friend to forget.
Enkidu:
Even if he does remember everything, he should never have concerned himself with an insignificant tool like me.
Enkidu:
But instead...once I was gone, he protected that which I truly wished for...
Enkidu:
...even though it ended up being a crueler pair of shackles than any punishment the gods ever devised.
Enkidu:
Good grief. I can't even tell if these are my own memories or not. Perhaps they come from this other me you knew.
Enkidu:
Regardless, if there is new meaning to be found in your punishment for me, goddess...
Enkidu:
...I will be happy to accept it.
Mash:
Enkidu... Now I see...
Mash:
So that's why you're doing this, Ishtar.
You really thought it through!
Ishtar:
(Actually, I was only doing it purely out of spite...but I think it'd be better if I don't tell them that.)
Enkidu:
Oh, it's nothing. Just as whimsy led Ishtar there to perform something of a good deed, I am similarly moved to accept my punishment.
Enkidu:
Besides, I don't hold a grudge like she does, and I don't have anyone to cry to after suffering a defeat either.
Ishtar:
Hey, stuff it!
Ishtar:
Go on, get out of here before you say something that changes my mind!
Enkidu:
...I expect you may already know this given what I just said, but I'm not the only one who was summoned here.
Enkidu:
If this world is a stage Ishtar set herself in order to reenact the events of the epic, then just like me...
Enkidu:
...the epic's namesake would have come here at the same time she brought out the Bull of Heaven, if not sooner.
Enkidu:
I speak, of course, of Gilgamesh.
Mash:
Good point... I think you're right.
Ishtar:
Well duh.
You were just the appetizer; he's the main dish.
Ishtar:
This time, I'm going to make sure he suffers a miserable defeat at my glorious hands.
Enkidu:
Oh? Are you sure he's going to follow your script the way you expect just because you called him here? This IS Gilgamesh we're talking about, after all.
Ishtar:
Why don't you ask him after I've sent him over to join you with a clay tablet of his own?
Enkidu:
All right. That should be very interesting.
Now then, I think I'll be on my way.
Ishtar:
Come on, Fujimaru, we're moving out too!
Mash:
Um... What about Gugalanna?
Ishtar:
Oh, I already ordered him to follow me once he's done booting up.
Ishtar:
Don't worry. He might not look it, but he's actually a very good boy who always does just what I say.
Fujimaru 1:
I'll believe it when I see it.
Fujimaru 2:
I can already tell this is going to bite you later.
Ishtar:
I'm telling you, it's true, dammit!
Now come on! The enemy awaits at Uruk!
--ARROW--:
Gilgamesh:
...So, you've come.
Ishtar:
Oho, what's this? You've come to greet me in full armor out in an open field? It almost makes me feel like complimenting you, Gilgamesh.
Gilgamesh:
Hmph. Don't be ridiculous.
Gilgamesh:
Having some time on my hands, I decided to answer this world's call on a lark, only to sense evil lurking within.
Gilgamesh:
Thanks to the dark clouds gathered around Mt. Ebih in the distance and the reflections from your gaudy crown, I have already determined exactly what is going on here.
Gilgamesh:
My Uruk has no place for a worthless goddess and her worthless bull...even if that bull appears to still be very much confined to its pen.
Ishtar:
That's right, Gilgamesh. Laugh it up while you can, 'cause soon, Gugalanna's gonna show up and smoosh you good.
Ishtar:
But until he does, my handpicked champion Fujimaru will be your opponent!
Fujimaru 1:
You mean Gugalanna's STILL out of commission?
Fujimaru 2:
Are you sure Gugalanna's actually working?
Mash:
Ishtar...
Ishtar:
Hey! Now don't you two start looking at me like that!
Ishtar:
Hm, that IS odd...
He really should be up and moving by now.
Ishtar:
Look, just buy as much time as you can, okay!?
It shouldn't be that much longer!
Gilgamesh:
...Oho. You must be the ones who defeated Enkidu.
Gilgamesh:
I don't know who you are, but you should be ashamed of yourselves for siding with such an ignominious invader!
Fujimaru 1:
You're really angry about this, huh?
Fujimaru 2:
Are you angry? You are, aren't you?
Gilgamesh:
Me? Angry? You forget your place, nameless mongrel.
Gilgamesh:
I feel even less concern for you than I do for the insects that may happen to be in my way when I swat this wicked god out of the sky!
Ishtar:
Who're you calling wicked!? And I don't know who you think you're fooling, 'cause you're obviously pissed off!
Mash:
Be careful, Master!
King Gilgamesh is armed and ready for battle!
--BATTLE--:
Gilgamesh:
Fuhahahaha, pitiful, pitiful!
Once again, none can so much as touch me!
Gilgamesh:
You have promise, young mage, but your fate was sealed the moment you threw your lot in with Ishtar!
Mash:
This isn't looking good, Master!
King Gilgamesh isn't holding back one bit!
Ishtar:
Damn, it figures he'd put up a good fight... All right, guess I'll just have to bring out my special surprise!
Mash:
Your special surprise? Would this have something to do with the “reeeally good news” you mentioned earlier?
Ishtar:
Yes it does! Now check this out!
Divine Garment! Heavenly Voyage Deity Attire!
Fujimaru 1:
What's going on?
Fujimaru 2:
What're you trying to pull?
Ishtar:
I am the center of all! The heavens... The earth...
The very universe itself revolves around me!
Ishtar:
Behold my shining body! My seven ornaments!
My eyes burning bright with the color of Venus!
Ishtar:
I am...
Super Ishtar!!!
Fujimaru 1:
...
Fujimaru 2:
...
Mash:
(...I can't tell what's different about her...)
Gilgamesh:
(...There's almost nothing different about her.)
Fujimaru 1:
Sooo...are we playing spot the difference, or...?
Ishtar:
Hohoho! I see you're so overcome by my super form that you're utterly at a loss for words!
Fujimaru 1:
She's not even fazed by our confusion!?
Fujimaru 2:
Unbelievable... I've never seen such an unshakable spirit!
Mash:
Huh!? Now King Gilgamesh has stepped out of his combat stance!?
Ishtar:
Oh? What's this now? Have you finally realized you're completely outclassed? Well, I can hardly blame you.
Ishtar:
Now that my grueling one hour-per-day fitness regimen has allowed me to power up without relying on Father's gifts, and boosted my Noble Phantasm's firepower even further...
Ishtar:
...I'm sure that even the vaunted King of Heroes would have no choice but to admit defeat before we–
Gilgamesh:
It's not that.
That worthless bull of yours has begun to move.
Ishtar:
...He has?
Mash:
Yes. Gugalanna Mark III is slowly lifting his leg.
Ishtar:
Sweet! Everything is coming up Ishtar today!
Ishtar:
Now that Super Ishtar and Gugalanna are teaming up, it's finally time for you to pay the piper too, Gilgamesh!
Gilgamesh:
... (Looking at her with the same pity he would for a flailing piglet.)
Mash:
Um, Mark III has started to raise his leg, but...something doesn't seem right...
Ishtar:
What're you waiting for, Gugalanna?
Hurry up and crush Goldie here into gold ingots!
Ishtar:
Once that's done, I'll cast them into coins, engrave them with my portrait, and spend them on something completely frivolous.
Ishtar:
Maybe I'll scatter them from the sky to boost my popularity, or toss them into Kur as an offering.
Gilgamesh:
... (Pitying her like he would a gambler who just bet everything she had on a single horse and lost)
Mash:
Gugalanna is slowly starting to move his legs faster...except he still isn't going anywhere.
Fujimaru 1:
Wasn't there something important over near his hooves?
Fujimaru 2:
Isn't your temple over there by his hooves, Ishtar?
Ishtar:
Wait. What!?
Ishtar:
H-hang on, Gugalanna. If you start stomping around there–
Ishtar:
Aaah!!!
Mash:
...Mark III just flattened Ishtar's temple with a single step...along with the rest of Mt. Ebih...
Ishtar:
Nooo! No no no! M-my templeee!!!
Most of my wealth is still in there!!!
Ishtar:
Hang on, Ishtar. Get a hold of yourself! This world is temporary, remember? That isn't really your wealth there!
Ishtar:
Okay, technically, that might not be my wealth per se, but I still saw a ton of money and jewels in there!
Mash:
Given how huge Gugalanna is, I'm afraid all that stomping must have pulverized even the hardest of jewels in your collection to no more than dus–
Ishtar:
Wait, Mash! Don't say another word! It's taking everything I have just to keep from fainting!
Gilgamesh:
Ah yes, there's the Ishtar I know! Seeing your own worthless bull destroy the wealth you prize so much has been the most entertaining spectacle I've seen in a long time!
Gilgamesh:
And of course, I doubt this debacle is over just yet.
--ARROW--:
Gilgamesh:
To recap:
Gilgamesh:
Ishtar suffered a humiliating defeat at the hands of my overwhelmingly invincible self and my merciless friend...
Gilgamesh:
...and has been plagued by traumatic flashbacks every day since.
Gilgamesh:
Now, this wicked goddess has gotten into her head that taking petty revenge is the only way for her to be free of this suffering, regardless of the trouble it could make for others.
Gilgamesh:
I am willing to commend her drive in going so far as to create her own Singularity and resurrect Gugalanna.
Gilgamesh:
However, Ishtar still has yet to realize...
Gilgamesh:
...that the human girl she is using for her vessel is in fact the dullest tool in the shed!
Gilgamesh:
Thus, we Enuma Elish the final episode of Uruk's ongoing serial “Ishtar Dies Thrice: A Farewell to Elegance...”
Mash:
We have a new situation! Gugalanna Mark III has changed direction and begun charging towards us!
Fujimaru 1:
Now who was it he was set to home in on again?
Fujimaru 2:
Get out of here, Ishtar! Quickly!
Ishtar:
Wh-wh-what's the problem!? Everything'll be fine if I just stop him now, right!?
Ishtar:
In the name of Ishtar, your lord and master, I command you:
Ishtar:
Stay, Gugalanna! Stay!
Mash:
Gugalanna Mark III isn't slowing down!
He's still charging towards Uruk!
Ishtar:
Why isn't it working!?
Gilgamesh:
...I thought it was odd that the Bull of Heaven's enormous lapis lazuli horns Enkidu and I enshrined in the temple of Uruk after we defeated him seemingly disappeared of their own accord.
Gilgamesh:
It was you whole stole them, wasn't it?
Ishtar:
...Yeah, that's right. Except it's not stealing when you're just taking back something that used to be yours!
Ishtar:
Besides, I didn't have a choice, since I can't activate or control Gugalanna without them.
Ishtar:
What's it to you, anyway?
Gilgamesh:
You poor, hapless fool. Just when I think you can't fail any harder, you manage to surprise me once again. Those horns you stole are replicas.
Ishtar:
Huh!? Replicas!? That doesn't make any sense!
Ishtar:
If they weren't the real horns, then why would you hang them up where everyone can see them!?
Gilgamesh:
A foolish question.
Did you truly think that I, of all people...
Gilgamesh:
...would fail to foresee that you would one day try to steal the horns to satisfy one of your absurd, inane whims?
Gilgamesh:
Needless to say, I am not so foolish as to leave the genuine article out for the taking.
Gilgamesh:
However, I also knew that if I were to hide the horns completely, you would cause no end of destruction as you turned Uruk upside down looking for them. Thus,
the answer was clearly to leave out an imitation to draw your eye, and to guard it as though it were real.
Gilgamesh:
Still, to see you carry them off and try to use them for such ludicrous ends without ever suspecting they are mere fakes...
Gilgamesh:
Ahh, how did my poor Uruk end up with such a buffoon of a goddess as its guardian deity? I knew we should have cut ties with the gods long ago...
Ishtar:
D-don't you play the victim on me! I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you pretend like your pompous arrogance is MY fault!
Ishtar:
Besides, you know just as well as I do that there's no way I'd ever be fooled by a fake if I was at my full strength!
Ishtar:
Still... You're right.
Ishtar:
I'll admit, the sheer size of those lapis lazuli did make me a little giddy.
Ishtar:
Sure, I thought it was odd that they didn't have so much magical energy, but I figured I could just make up for that by adding some of my own.
Ishtar:
And hey, now that I think about it, if you knew all this was gonna happen before you even answered the summons, why didn't you stop me before I did all this!?
Gilgamesh:
Ridiculous! I can think of no greater fool's errand than that!
Gilgamesh:
If I had warned you ahead of time, you would have only grown more stubborn in your reckless quest for revenge!
Ishtar:
Well of course I would've!
Ishtar:
I mean, can you imagine me NOT trying to go around you if you'd told me this to my face ahead of time?
Mash:
Excuse me, but I think that's enough Uruk talk for now!
Mash:
All right, so based on everything you two have said, it sounds like the Bull of Heaven is currently–
Fujimaru 1:
Out of control?
Fujimaru 2:
The ancient equivalent of a runaway train?
Ishtar:
...Well, yeah, I guess you could put it like that.
Mash:
I knew it! It won't be long now before Gugalanna Mark III gets here!
Enkidu:
Hey there. Sorry to butt in, but I was wondering if there was anything I could do to help?
Gilgamesh:
Surely you can figure out what to do without anyone giving you orders. Now throw away that silly tablet and go do what you must.
Mash:
Um... Is that okay with you, Ishtar? That tablet is proof of your victory, right?
Ishtar:
Tsk... Okay, okay, I get it already! I know we don't exactly have many other options to choose from right now!
Ishtar:
Okay, you cold-blooded machine, you've served your sentence, all right!? Now go on, get out of here!
Enkidu:
I knew it. You have changed, haven't you? This new you might make for a dull opponent, but at least she's not bad to talk to.
Enkidu:
In fact, just this once, I'm willing to help you clean up your own mess now that you've turned over this new leaf.
Gilgamesh:
Fuhahahaha, now that's more like it! You know, since I'm here, I think I'll go see the worthless goddess's latest failure for myself!
Gilgamesh:
Ishtar, since you have so amused me, I will reward you by vanquishing this beast of yours myself! Consider yourself lucky!
Gilgamesh:
Indeed, considering this is all taking place outside the realm of our mythology, I see no harm in a silly side story where we fight side by side!
Ishtar:
Grr... Who do those two think they are, anyway!?
Ishtar:
Ugh, fine! If my poor Gugalanna's got to be broken again, I at least want to break him myself instead of giving them the satisfaction!
Ishtar:
Get back here, you callous cretins!
I'm still the star of this show, dammit!
Mash:
Ishtar just ran off to join them!
This really should be an amazing show, Senpai!
Fujimaru 1:
I'll say! This has got to be the ultimate Uruk team-up!
--BATTLE--:
Mash:
Gugalanna Mark III has completely shut down!
They did it, Senpai!
Gilgamesh:
Hmph, that was a far cry from you in your prime, Bull of Heaven. Had I known you would be this weak, I wouldn't have bothered coming here at all.
Enkidu:
I'll go retrieve the horns.
I trust you're all right with that, Ishtar?
Ishtar:
(Sniff) Yes...
Mash:
That takes care of that.
Oh, by the way, Ishtar.
Ishtar:
What is it, Mash?
Mash:
Remember how you requested that this incident be kept off the record?
Ishtar:
Yes... What about it?
Mash:
Well, you should be aware that your request is denied. I'm going to record everything that happened, including the warnings about what will happen if you try something like this again!
Ishtar:
...Teehee.
Fujimaru 1:
You can't “teehee” your way out of this, O Goddess.
Fujimaru 2:
You could at least pretend to be sorry, O Goddess.
Ishtar:
Yeah, you're right...
Ishtar:
But come on, you saw how awesome my super self was,
right? With a few more good workouts, I'm sure I could pull all this off next time!
Ishtar:
It helps that I have a concrete goal now, you know? Collecting jewels is all well and good, but seeking revenge is really motivational in its own right!
Fujimaru 1:
You're over it already!?
Fujimaru 2:
You can't even pretend!?
Gilgamesh:
Hmph, some goddess of prosperity she is. The nature of the lineage of the great earth goddess is far worse than any of the supposedly wicked gods.
Gilgamesh:
You there, the mongrel with the misfortune to get caught up in all this! Keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn't get into any more foolish trouble!
Fujimaru 1:
Isn't that a lot to ask when you couldn't even do that yourself, King?
Fujimaru 2:
Isn't that a lot to ask when you didn't do anything to stop her yourself, King?
Gilgamesh:
Don't be ridiculous. Of course I could have done something about her had I chosen to.
Gilgamesh:
Just as there is no need to pluck a chestnut out of a fire when it is about to burst open, neither was there a need for me to have anything to do with her.
Gilgamesh:
Besides, nature has a way of getting back at you, and that's just as true for gods. You can't go around destroying them without a very good reason.
Gilgamesh:
Furthermore, while she may have fallen from grace a bit, she is still a full-fledged, genuine goddess.
Gilgamesh:
If she ever truly wished to do so, she it would be a trifling thing for her to destroy all of you mongrels with but a twitch of her little finger. Don't you ever forget that.
Gilgamesh:
If, for some unfathomable reason, you choose to continue your relationship with her, despite all she's put you through, be prepared to endure innumerable repetitions of this little farce.
Gilgamesh:
That is my warning to you. Do with it what you will.
Fujimaru 1:
Yes, sir!
Fujimaru 2:
Roger that!
Mash:
It was nice to see King Gilgamesh and Enkidu leaving together.
Mash:
They may be very strict in their own ways, but they're also wonderfully capable allies.
Ishtar:
Oh come on, I don't agree with his warning at all!
You guys are still totally on my side, right!?
Fujimaru 1:
.........Absolutely!
Fujimaru 2:
.........(Energetic thumbs-up)
Ishtar:
Right? Of course you are! I don't like how long it took you to answer that, but seeing as it's been a long day, I'll be generous and consider it your brain taking time to catch up!
Ishtar:
Anyway... My revenge might've failed, but at least I got some valuable experience, and my Noble Phantasm is in better shape than ever...
Ishtar:
So I'd say things turned out pretty well for you on the whole, right? After all, the only thing better than a dependable goddess is an even more dependable goddess.
Ishtar:
Which is why I'm going to be nice and keep using my Noble Phantasm to destroy anyone who gets in your way!
Ishtar:
All you have to do in return is kick back, relax like you're on my Boat of Heaven, and keep indulging my every request♡