Seeking Quieter Times

Billy: Don't have much to say 'bout him 'cept he's a bad man. And yeah, the irony of that comin' from me ain't lost.

Robin Hood: Yup, he's a bad guy, straight up. No other way to spin it.

Atalante: ...Do you mean he appears to be a good person to you? If so, you may need to get your eyes checked.

Aśvatthāman: Hm? Oh yeah, he's definitely a bad guy!

Aśvatthāman: Hell, he makes Duryodhana look like a saint!

Chiron: ...

Chiron: Good question. Good and evil are notoriously difficult to define, and can rarely be applied in blanket fashion.

Chiron: Still, that being said...there are times when we are confronted with clear and undeniable evil.

Chiron: It would be one thing if such evil were relegated to the subconscious mind...

Chiron: ...but in his case, he is unmistakably both aware of, and acting upon it.

Chiron: He is in many ways much the same as young people who purposely act wicked, or as those who deal in violence for a living and label themselves wicked...

Chiron: ...but his wickedness is on a completely different scale.

Chiron: It is also not uncommon for evil people to go around pretending to be good or just.

Chiron: Indeed, they often have to in order to survive, for society is not kind to individuals who knowingly practice evil.

Holmes: ...Indeed, he too was pretending to be just, much to my dismay.

Holmes: That said, I'm surprised to see you going around asking about him.

Holmes: Is there some sort of reason for that?

Fujimaru 1: Welp, there you have it. Consensus says you're a bad guy.

Fujimaru 2: Turns out pretty much everyone thinks you're a bad guy, Professor.

Moriarty: You spoke to all those Servants just to learn what I would have gladly told you for the asking?

Moriarty: Now each and every one of them is going to darken my door, suspecting James Moriarty of something untoward!

Moriarty: Fabulous. Do you see what you've done? I'm so worked up, I've gone and started talking about myself in the third person.

Moriarty: In any event, what's done is done. But as a matter of interest, why did you go to all that trouble?

Moriarty: You were reviewing the reports about the Shinjuku incident? I see.

Moriarty: Indeed, the version of me here now must be the one from the aftermath of that particular incident...

Moriarty: ...for that is the one who knows the taste of good.

Moriarty: In spite of this, I am most decidedly evil, and so refer to myself accordingly.

Moriarty: So tell me, in your opinion...

Moriarty: ...which do you think I am?

Fujimaru 1: Is this a trick question? Evil, of course.

Moriarty: You didn't even think about it for two seconds!

Moriarty: Though of course, that's not to say you're wrong. James Moriarty is indeed as evil as they come.

Moriarty: ...Confound it all, I spoke in third person again.

Fujimaru 2: A good guy.

Moriarty: ... ...You're serious?

Moriarty: Then again, I suppose you're not entirely wrong. Indeed, you have a sharp eye.

Moriarty: I am, without a doubt, an evil man. That is a fact, and it is one that I am fully aware of.

Moriarty: However, let me ask you this: Do questions of good and evil truly matter when humanity is facing an existential crisis?

Moriarty: ...No, wait, that came out poorly. Let me rephrase it.

Moriarty: It is precisely when humanity is in peril that malice becomes necessary, my dear Master.

Moriarty: Indeed, I'm certain you've already seen as much yourself.

Moriarty: Everyone has malice in them, even heroes can betray their cause, and the line between good and evil remains hazy and ill-defined.

Moriarty: Our history–Proper Human History, as we define it now–may as well be hell itself.

Moriarty: Even so, you and your compatriots have been making every effort to bring it back, believing that for all its evils, it is still the greatest good to which we can aspire.

Moriarty: Right and wrong are therefore of no concern to us. We won't win because we are fighting for what's right.

Moriarty: Rather, it is only once we have won that we must strive to be right.

Fujimaru 1: So that's why we have to fight?

Moriarty: Exactly.

Moriarty: ...Still, there's no need to worry. We are all here precisely to ensure you emerge victorious.

Moriarty: Even if that means we have to pull out every evil trick in the book.

Moriarty: ...On a different note, there's something I wanted to talk to you about.

Moriarty: Would you be willing to join me on a little excursion to London?

Fujimaru 1: London...?

Jack: Hi, London! We're home, London!

Jack: And we're here to fix your Singularity!

Moriarty: Hahaha, it's always good to see children in such fine spirits.

Jack: So where's the place we need to fix?

Moriarty: Ah yes, of course.

Moriarty: Do you see the Clock Tower over there? Yes, marking the headquarters of the Mage's Association.

Moriarty: There has been something of a...disturbance there, shall we say.

Jack: Aww, we hate mages and stuff.

Moriarty: I know how you feel, my girl! I hate them as well!

Da Vinci: A disturbance, huh?

Da Vinci: True, Moriarty is right. It does look like this minute Singularity originated from the Mage's Association...

Moriarty: Is something the matter?

Da Vinci: Well, it's a little worrying that there wasn't any sign I saw leading up to it...

Da Vinci: But then again, I guess that's par for the course with Singularities.

Da Vinci: And according to the database, it does look like there've been similar cases in the past.

Da Vinci: Still, all that aside, I'm surprised to see you out on a mission like this, Moriarty. It's not like you.

Moriarty: Hey now! I'm quite certain I've been helping out here and there as warranted!

Holmes: But only when it served to further one of your evil schemes, no?

Holmes: Or perhaps I should say, attempted to further.

Moriarty: Heh. Your tongue remains as sharp as ever, Holmes, old boy! It wouldn't kill you to be a bit nicer to poor old Prof. Moriarty, in his most humble opinion.

Fujimaru 1: “Prof.”?

Moriarty: I've decided to make talking in third-person my thing, as it were.

Da Vinci: Sounds weird to me, but you do you, I guess.

Moriarty: At any rate, it wasn't me who caught wind of this, but the Phantom Spirit I've incorporated into myself.

Holmes: ...Ah, yes. Phantom Spirit Max, Der Freischütz, or the marksman with the magical bullets.

Moriarty: The very same. Of course, that's not say he possesses anything in the way of consciousness.

Moriarty: It's more akin uneasy premonition.

Moriarty: I must say, I've never felt anything like it before.

Holmes: Magical bullets, hmm... I remember one in particular that gave me quite the hard time back in Shinjuku.

Moriarty: Well of course. I was practically born to give you a hard time, after all.

Holmes: Good grief. I'll never be able to stop keeping a close eye on you, will I?

Moriarty: Huh?

Jack: Hm? (Sniff sniff)

Jack: Is that,

Fujimaru 1: Sure is. Nice catch.

Jack: We recognize it from Nursery! Maybe it's a Demonic Book then?

Fujimaru 2: If you smell ink, where could it be coming from? A book?

Moriarty: Most likely a Demonic Book, I'd expect.

Moriarty: Bingo. There it is, right on schedule.

Moriarty: I doubt it will pose much of a challenge, so what say we take it out and be done with it?

Jack: Yay! It's always kinda fun getting to rip books apart!

Jack: But we don't get to do it that much 'cause we don't wanna upset Nursery! It makes her real mad!

Fujimaru 1: Please don't rip books apart in front of Nursery Rhyme!


Mash: There. The Demonic Book has been eliminated.

Holmes: Hmm, that's odd. I could have sworn I heard a bit of static just now.

Mash: Maybe it's the Demonic Fog interfering?

Mash: The Singularity may be gone now, but there's still some mist here that looks a lot like the Demonic Fog.

Da Vinci: So something's jamming our signal, huh...

Moriarty: Quite all right, quite all right. Now come on, the tower awaits!

Jack: It's okay, Mommy. We know the fog like the back of our knives! It's our, uh...domain! That's it!

Jack: Come on! The tower awaits!

Moriarty: ...I see I'll need to watch what I say around that one...


Moriarty: Hmm. Looks like this is the place.

Jack: You think somebody's here?

???: Hehehe... Someone is indeed.

Moriarty: Huh? Is that...? It can't be!

Moriarty(?): Fuhahahaha. There you are, my so-called better half; the fool who gave in to the good side!

Moriarty(?): Now that you're here, I'll kill you and take your Moriarty abilities for myself!

Moriarty: Now I see. So you're my evil half!

Moriarty(?): Exactly! And what's more...

Moriarty(?): I've made my magical bullets even stronger.

Moriarty(?): If you really thought you could surpass me with only your cheeky knowledge, you are gravely mistaken!

Fujimaru 1: I don't know. You both seem pretty evil to me.

Moriarty: Now is really not the time, Master!

Holmes: I see. So if you win, we'll end up with a completely evil Moriarty on our hands.

Holmes: You know, that sounds rather intriguing. How would you fancy taking a dive on this one, Professor?

Moriarty: No thank you!

Moriarty: I'm still a Servant, thank you very much, and I intend to keep doing the best I can at it!

Holmes: I see. Then unfortunately, I suppose you'll just have to make sure you win this one.

Jack: Okay, we'll do the best we can! We'll bring out our fog, too!

Moriarty(?): Underestimate me, will you? Come on then! I'll show you just how terrifying my magical bullets can be!

Moriarty: All right, Master, I'll be counting on you to direct me in battle.

Moriarty: Let's show this clown how outclassed he truly is!

Jack: Oh hey, it's okay if we dismember that other Moriarty into little bitty pieces, right!? Right!?

Fujimaru 1: Go for it!

Jack: Yaaay!

Moriarty: I say, was it really necessary to be quite so enthusiastic about the idea!?

Fujimaru 2: Hmm. What to do, what to do...

Moriarty: If it's all the same to you, I'd just as soon not see my own doppelganger suffer quite such a gruesome fate!


Moriarty(?): Arrrghhh!

Moriarty(?): You arrogant fool! You lie about being good, you can't harness the magical bullets' true power... Curse you!

Moriarty(?): I can't entrust Moriarty to the likes of you! I can't!

Moriarty: Then unfortunately, it seems we've reached an impasse...

Moriarty: I don't think I can keep pretending to be suave or interesting for much longer.

Moriarty: Hooray, we won!

Jack: Hey, Mommy! Mister Moriarty!?

Jack: The fog's getting thicker! What do we do now!?

Moriarty: Hmm.

Da Vinci:


Moriarty: Oh? That doesn't seem right...

Moriarty: Oi, Holmes! Come in, damn you!

Holmes: ...

Fujimaru 1: We can't hear you!

Jack: Look out! More enemies are coming!

Moriarty: Dammit, of all the times! Come on then, let's take them out quickly and find an area where the fog isn't so thick!


Moriarty: There, that should hold them off. Now let's run for it!

Holmes: How is it looking?

Mash: Well...

Mash: The last thing we picked up was Moriarty saying, “That should hold them off. Now let's run for it!”

Mash: After that, the line went completely dark.

Mash: Luckily, I can still track Master's vital signs, but that's all...

Da Vinci: That's the same fog we saw in London way back when...

Da Vinci: Guess all we can do now is wait for our comms to come back.

Mash: Oh! The comms are back online now.

Da Vinci: Huh, that was faster than I expected.

Holmes: Hmm...

G:Moriarty: Heeey! Can you hear meee!?

Mash: Yes, we can, Moriarty.

Mash: How's Master? Is [♂ he /♀️ she] all right?

G:Moriarty: ...

Mash: Moriarty?

G:Moriarty: Oh yes, [♂ he's /♀️ she's] fine. Not to worry.

G:Moriarty: I'm sorry, it seems we have a poor connection. If it feels like I'm taking a while to respond, that's why.

Mash: Not at all. It's only a two to three minute delay, so it shouldn't be a problem under normal circumstances.

Mash: Where are you all now?

G:Moriarty: We're hiding out underground in the Mage's Association. Thankfully, we're the only ones here.

G:Moriarty: I do hope you'll let me know once we're able to return!

Mash: Understood. It might take a little time, but I'll be sure to let you know.

Holmes: ...

Moriarty: ...There we go. All according to plan.

Fujimaru 1: ...What plan?

Moriarty: Now, now, all in good time. And since we don't have much to spare, we'd best get a move on.

Fujimaru 2: Oh no. You mean you planned for all this to happen!?

Moriarty: Now, now, just hear me out.

Moriarty: Jack, would you be so kind as to keep a lookout?

Jack: 'Kaaay.

Fujimaru 1: What's going on?

Moriarty: Oh, and one more thing...

Fujimaru 1: Another Moriarty?

Nursery Rhyme: Ahh, that was so much fun! What a joy it is to play new characters!

Nursery Rhyme: But do try to be more careful, Jack. You very nearly dismembered me for real!

Jack: Oops. We're sorry. We guess we got a little carried away.

Nursery Rhyme: Oh you! I'm not just a bundle of construction paper, you know.

Fujimaru 1: Nursery Rhyme? You were that other Moriarty?

Nursery Rhyme: Yes, I was.

Moriarty: At my request.

Moriarty: Though I must say, Nursery, did you really have to ham it up like some clichéd, old-timey villain?

Moriarty: I was hoping to see at least a glimmer of intelligence under all that unadulterated evil.

Nursery Rhyme: Oh? Well, I'm sorry you didn't care for my performance. I was just acting in a way that felt natural to me.

Nursery Rhyme: If you had any specific requests, you should have prepared a proper script.

Moriarty: I would have if I'd had time... Oh well, no matter.

Nursery Rhyme: At first, I thought it would be utterly disgraceful for a book of childhood dreams and fairy tales to transform into a crusty old man...

Nursery Rhyme: ...but when he offered to bribe me with a mountain of candy, I just couldn't say no!

Jack: Let's share it when we get back!

Moriarty: So, there you have it. My latest evil scheme went swimmingly!

Moriarty: That's right. All of this was my doing!

Moriarty: Hm? I can see from your withering glare that you think I'm up to something.

Moriarty: Well, you're both right and wrong. I was, in fact, up to something, but no longer now that I've succeeded.

Moriarty: ... ...There.

Moriarty: If I play up the fog-induced static and the comms delay, I should be able to buy us a little more time.

Moriarty: Indeed, the entire purpose of this little excursion was to enable us to spend this precious bit of time together. Nothing more.

Moriarty: That goes for the Moriarty imposter, and the mock Singularity I generated in London...

Moriarty: All of it was for this moment.

Fujimaru 1: What are you talking about?

Moriarty: I want to tell you more about myself and my personal philosophy, and I didn't want to give Holmes a chance to interfere.

Moriarty: Believe me, I'd like to think I'm just, well, overthinking it, but remember, I am Holmes's sworn rival.

Moriarty: I need to make the greatest, arguably foolhardy pains to ensure he has no chance of seeing or hearing what I do.

Moriarty: Hmm... We don't have much time until our comms are back online. I'd better speak while I can.

Moriarty: ...I understand why I was summoned, and why I'm here now. The bond you and I formed in Shinjuku explains that.

Moriarty: In a sense, it was fortune and coincidence that brought us together.

Moriarty: But then there's Holmes. Tell me, why is HE at Chaldea?

Fujimaru 1: Well–

Moriarty: Yes, I know that too, of course.

Moriarty: I'm well aware of how you and he met, and what happened between you two.

Moriarty: You first encountered him at the Atlas Institute, back when you were stranded in the desert during the Incineration of Humanity incident.

Moriarty: Of course, all of your comms systems were cut off at the time, so there's no record of your conversation whatsoever.

Moriarty: But, be that as it may, the fact remains that he was there. You can attest to that yourself.

Moriarty: What did he say to you again? Something along these lines?

Moriarty: “I was originally summoned in London to aid with the repair of the Fourth Singularity.”

Moriarty: "But then, at Sir Babbage's behest, I expanded the scope of my investigation beyond the Fourth Singularity alone to the entire Incineration of Humanity incident."

Moriarty: “So I decided to come to the Sixth Singularity before you, to begin searching for clues as soon as possible.”

Moriarty: If that's true, it would mean he Rayshifted there all on his own.

Moriarty: Tell me, do you think such a thing is even possible?

Fujimaru 1: I...

Moriarty: I do not. Not for a second.

Moriarty: That said, we all know his propensity for surprising us–or rather, the true culprit–with methods that would never have occurred to anyone else.

Moriarty: Perhaps he took clever advantage of the Atlas Institute's unique properties, which somehow enabled their headquarters to survive the Incineration of Humanity unscathed.

Moriarty: Or perhaps it was something as simple as a mage summoning him to that time.

Moriarty: But regardless of what the explanation may be, the fact remains that we have no way of verifying it for ourselves.

Moriarty: So listen closely, Master, for this is very important.

Moriarty: I may be an evil man...but that does not mean all who oppose me must therefore be good.

Moriarty: If push comes to shove, there is nothing Holmes would not do to protect Chaldea–or rather, humanity.

Moriarty: That includes relying on methods so cold-blooded that neither Da Vinci, Goredolf, or even I could fathom using them.

Moriarty: That said, it is entirely possible that my concerns are unwarranted, and I am worried over nothing.

Moriarty: But remember, if you will, one of his more well-known sayings:

Moriarty: Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

Moriarty: And the concerns I've laid out here are by no means impossible.

Moriarty: Which is why I need to prepare countermeasures.

Moriarty: So my evil scheme this time is to act merely mischievous in public, pretend to be doing evil deeds for your sake in secret...

Moriarty: ...and ultimately, to prepare for Holmes “going rogue” in a way that even he'll never see coming!

Moriarty: Think of it as a safety mechanism of sorts– one designed to ensure a good man doesn't end up deciding to sacrifice an important few for the sake of the so-called greater good.

Moriarty: So, can I count on your assistance in this matter, Master?

Fujimaru 1: I'm not really sure what to say...

Moriarty: True, I can't blame you for having doubts. But I do hope you can get past them.

Fujimaru 2: What exactly would I have to do...?

Moriarty: Nothing. Just continue to be yourself. In fact, anything else would be detrimental.

Moriarty: Having said all of that...

Moriarty: I'm going to cast a little charm on you, to make you forget everything I just told you.

Fujimaru 1: Huh? But why?

Moriarty: A fair question. Indeed, you may well be wondering what the point of all this was if I'm just going to have you forget.

Moriarty: All I can say is that my intuition and experience are speaking to me, and I must listen. Call it a hunch.

Moriarty: And that hunch tells me that if I go up against Holmes with you remembering this discussion...

Moriarty: ...he'll most likely see right through me.

Moriarty: You see, the real problem is that, at this point, I simply have no idea how this scenario will play out.

Moriarty: As embarrassing as it is to admit, I have essentially no evidence, no facts, no solid information whatsoever.

Moriarty: And as any professor of mathematics will tell you, it's impossible to solve an equation in which every variable is unknown.

Moriarty: So the only option I see right now is to take the liberty of erasing–or rather, sealing this memory away.

Fujimaru 1: But, if you're just gonna have me forget–

Moriarty: Why did I tell you all this in the first place? For a very good reason.

Moriarty: Once it has been sealed away, this memory will lie dormant in the back of your mind, waiting patiently for its time.

Moriarty: And if that time should indeed arrive, I hope it will lead you to trust me over Holmes.

Moriarty: Truth be told, I'm hoping this is all just a big joke.

Moriarty: Really, the fact that he risked his life to save yours would seem to be a fatal contradiction in this hypothesis.

Moriarty: So this is all most likely needless worrying on my part.

Moriarty: Still one never knows what life has in store to trip you up...

Moriarty: I figured it couldn't hurt to have a backup plan ready to go, just in case.

Moriarty: All right, Master, I think it's time we headed home. Best of luck on your journey!

Narration: Am I a good man now, or an evil one?

Narration: In one sense, it's a question that shouldn't even be asked. Particularly not of myself.

Narration: Will there ever come a time when I can hold my head high and prove my theory beyond any doubt?

Narration: Or will I end up retreating inward, only to find myself?

Narration: Whatever the end result, I want it to convince me, to be something I can accept.

Narration: Anything less would be a failure as both a professor, and as a Servant.

Moriarty: Oh.

Holmes: ...

Moriarty: I see your choice of wardrobe is as uninspired as ever, Sherlock.

Holmes: With all due respect, Professor, you and I are not on “Sherlock” terms.

Moriarty: Well then, I do beg your pardon.

Holmes: By the way, about the recent incident in London...

Moriarty: Urk.

Holmes: That was all your doing, wasn't it?

Moriarty: Why, whatever do you mean? But, all right, I suppose the jig is up then.

Moriarty: Indeed, every part of that was my own evil scheme!

Holmes: As I thought. That's that, then.

Holmes: Mr. Goredolf and Da Vinci would like to see you about that. I suggest you go take your lecture like an adult.

Moriarty: Oh? You have no intention of reading me the riot act yourself?

Holmes: No need. Now that I've solved every mystery in this case...

Holmes: ...I have no interest in the disciplinary aftermath.

Moriarty: I see. Every mystery, eh?

Holmes: That's right. Every one.

Moriarty: In that case...what's my ultimate goal?

Holmes: ...

Holmes: Well, that would be–

Narration: Good grief.

Narration: No one knows just how hard it is to be the bad guy...

Narration: ...or to outwit the protagonist.

Narration: Still, no matter how difficult it may be, the battle between him and me will never come to an end.

Moriarty: Tell me, Sherlock Holmes. My immortal, unbeatable, bitter rival.

Moriarty: Are you aware of it?

Moriarty: Are you aware of the pure madness and cold logic–pure and cold enough to make even our eyes pop out of our sockets–that lies deep at the heart of this incident?

Moriarty: I am, of course, delighted to outwit you, but strike me pink if you let anyone else put one over on you.

Moriarty: So I hope with all sincerity that you are able to face this adversary in peak condition.

Moriarty: Don't let anyone else steal my evil thunder.

Moriarty: This is neither a contest of wits, nor a battle for our lives.

Moriarty: This is nothing less than a war of ideologies; the ideologies that make us who we are.