Recruitment conference for The Second, possibly The Third Argonauts

Jason: ... Sigh... What am I doing here?

Orion: Getting philosophical, aren't we? It's simple. You're here as a Servant, I'm here as a bear ...Ok, I'm not a bear, I'm a Servant ...Am I a Servant?

Jason: Get a hold of your identity. Your ego lapses are starting to become a problem.

Orion: Don't mind me. So, what was your question about?

Jason: Get a clue, man. I'm a captain.

Orion: EX-captain.

Jason: ACTIVE captain.

Orion: Sure, fictiv... Active captain. And?

Jason: Where's all the praise, awe, and adoration a captain deserves? Here's what happened the other day.

[Flashback starts]

Jason: Hey Master, grab that bag of rice cookies for me. Pour some tea in my cup while you're at it.

Fujimaru: I'm writing my report.

Jason: A little procrastination doesn't hurt.

Atalante Alter: Shame on you, Jason. Do your own errands. Master is not yours to exploit. Master, do not get off your chair.

Jason: Sheesh, I can't catch a break here! How about you pay the bare minimum respect for your captain?

Rama: But Jason, explain me, why should one be called a captain without any ship or subordinates to command?

Jason: Ok, you got me on the ship part, but I do have subordinates! Right?

Atalante Alter: About that... I am a Servant. Since my summon, I haven't ever thought of you as my superior.

Jason: Huh?

Atalante Alter: Wait here. I shall hold a poll with the ex-Argonauts.

Rama: That was fast.

Atalante Alter: Here are the poll results. 9 votes for not revering Jason as captain. 1 vote for Jason is my captain, my loved dearest, and the most important person in my life.

Jason: Oh, I have this super solid idea of who the one vote was! But, no way. You mean that discounting Medea, no one sees me as their captain anymore? ... ... Oh no! I can't think of anyone in Chaldea who would board my ship!

Rama: Hahaha, welcome to Servant life.

Atalante Alter: Don't let it bother you, Jason. Your continued survival is enough of an amazing feat.

Jason: That was a shit compliment. I can't find a good faith interpretation for it. It's practically an insult.

Atalante Alter: I meant it as an insult.

Jason: When did Berserkers get this clever?

Atalante Alter: Sorry, I hadn't noticed you wanted to get your brain bitten off. Brave attitude! Ok, I'm going for it!

Jason: It was just a captain joke!

[End of flashback]

Jason: What do you think of my story, Orion?

Orion: Atalante was kinda cute, like a cat on Master's bed.

Jason: Hell no, a siberian tiger would have been ten thousand times cuter. They got those beans under their paws.

Orion: (Dude won't stop stepping on landmines... Is that a kink?)

Jason: But the important part here is that no one acknowledges me as a captain.

Orion: I mean, they have very valid reasons.

Jason: Fine then! I'll climb my way back to captainhood!

Orion: Oh? Elaborate.

Jason: Yeah, I'll reform the Argonauts! Chaldea fortunately has all the crewmates I could ever need! I have only one condition: respect the captain!

Orion: Wait a minute, aren't strength and abilites supposed to be important?

Jason: No one lacking in that department would get summoned to Chaldea.

Orion: True enough.

Jason: Let's get started, Master!

Fujimaru: I'm in the middle of my lunch.

Jason: That's no big deal. We're recruiting members for the new Argonauts!

Orion: Eh, I'll tag along, this is gonna be funny.

Fujimaru: Hilarious, even.

Orion: Looking forward to the perfect "Surprisingly enough, no one was on board" punchline.

Jason: Don't be stupid, we're talking about the Argonauts! The oldest hero ship in the world! And with me as the captain. Trust me, I'll have a tough time choosing among all candidates.

Orion: Where does all this unproven confidence of yours even come from? The ocean? Space? Radio waves, perhaps?

Jason: "Hah, when you get on my level, confidence comes naturally." - Quote by Jason.

Orion: Amazing. Not one shred of wit.

Jason: ...That said, my enthusiasm comes out of need. If lose momentum, it's over. Ok, let's get advertising...!

Orion: Good luck, man!

Fujimaru: Good luck.

Jason: Hah, what are you talking about? You're also doing it.

Orion: WHY?

[The recruiting process begins]

Orion: Thank you for your patronage. Have this toilet paper. Wrong word. This Argonaut recruitment announcement! Why am I the one doing the legwork?!

Fujimaru: Take this flyer! Here, for you too!

Orion: And you roped Master in it too?

Fujimaru: Good question! Why us?

Jason: Huhahahahaha! Good! Wonderful! Keep up the good work!

Orion: You do something too!

Jason: I know! Argonauts! We're hiring new Argonauts! The time and place for the interview are on the flyer! It's not a full-time job! See you there!

Orion: Man, he's desperate...

Jason: Think, Orion, what if I don't hype it enough and no one shows up for the interview? Wouldn't that be hell? The HR employee just waiting there with the most uncomfortable face... The boss fiddling with his phone... The new graduate not finding the courage to step into that negative environment...

Orion: You know quite a lot about whatever that was!? Also, stop, you're painting a miserable image!

Jason: That's why we need to advertise this right. Here! Come by! See what we have for you! Argonauts! With a special deal! You get 10000 QP for your membership!

Orion: Are you offering Argonaut membership or a freaking supermarket point card?

Fujimaru: Where are you getting all this QP from?

Jason: Foot the bill, please!

Fujimaru: Not a request you should be making with a smile!

[Time skip]

Jason: I'm your interviewer, Jason.

Orion: Why am I here? That'd be because I'm hiding from Artemis... Your interviewer, Orion.

Fujimaru: Your interviewer, Fujimaru Ritsuka.

Mash: Assistant interviewer, Mash Kyrielight.

Jason: Sounds good enough? Do we have candidates?

Mash: We do. A lot of Servants gathered here. Goes to show the fame of the Argonauts.

Jason: You tell me.

Orion: Mash, Mash, any cute girls out there?

Mash: W-well...

Orion: Oh, don't answer. I like surprises.

Mash: Understood. Then let's begin the first interview. I call them in one by one, correct?

Jason and OrionDokiee-dokie.

Mash: Beginning the first interview!

[The first candidate arrives]

Jason: ...

Orion: ...

Jason: Very well, start with your name, Class, and special abilities.

Arjuna Alter: Arjuna Alter. Berserker Class... I'm confident in my ability to destroy mostly any evil enemy in existence...

Jason: For the time being... you're... hired...

HIRED. Congratulations.

Orion: Just like that?! In case you didn't notice, he's completely off the Argonauts brand, in nationality, category, and everything!

Jason: Think of how much prestige he adds to the group!

Orion: Prestige is all that matters? No integrity? No uniformity? None at all?

Arjuna Alter: I'll consider myself still hired...

Jason: Pull yourself together, team. Next!

Mephistopheles: Tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock...

Jason: ...Your name?

Mephistopheles: Yes. YES! Your trusty Caster, Mephistooopheles! My special skills are bombing, monitoring, philosophizing, and bombing.

Orion: Oh, sure. How do we deal with this one, Captain?

Jason: Hired!

HIRED. Congratulations.

Mephistopheles: Yahoo! I'd hire me? I can't believe it. I have never been hired in this sort of interview before! You're the image of dauntless, earth-shattering courage! The Buddhist rendition of the Jaws poster on a folding screen! I look forward to sharing the boat with you, Master, captain, and classmate! Have this live bomb as a meager present.

Orion: Take it with you!

[Mephy goes into spirit form]

Fujimaru: He was really excited...

Orion: Are you sure that was a good idea?

Jason: C'mon. You gotta be at least that quirky if you wanna survive a day in the future Argo! Ok, next candidate, come on in!

Shark soldier: Good afternoon, my name is Jaws. I love the ocean.

Jason: HIRED!

HIRED. Congratulations.

Orion: HIRED?

Shark soldier: Yay!

Fujimaru: Welcome to the crew.

[Jaws walks away]

Jason: I feel like I made a hasty decision...

Orion: Hasty? You rushed past the edge of the precipice and continued running, my man. Where did that boy come from? The simulator? If so, is he just a vision?

Jason: He should be able to do chores, at the very least! Ok, next!

Artemis: I'm Artemis! Class Archer♡ Special skills? I'd say putting my darling through hell♡

Orion: Yeah, that's a no for me.

Jason: Oh, the job is yours.

HIRED. Congratulations. HIRED. Congratulations. HIRED. Congratulations.

Artemis: Yay, I did it! Ok, darling, once the interviews are over, we'll have a veeeeeeery long talk about your recent escapes.

Orion: That's a misunderstanding!

Jason: Back to your posts, the next candidate is coming.

Fujimaru: Ok, back to my post.

Orion: Maybe we should redo all interviews.

Artemis: Darling?

Orion: I said nothing! I'll gladly listen to your scolding!

Artemis: That's all I wanted to hear♪ See you later.

[Artemis walked away]

Jason: You're always, like... living on the edge...

[Next candidate]

Elizabeth: I know. I understand it completely. The Argonauts... A ship... Which means... Sailors in need of an idol!

Jason: Sure. I guess.

Elizabeth: C'mon, don't you know the sirens? Those bird or fish things singing on the seas?

Jason: Oh, yes. They show up sometimes. That was a problem for Odysseus, yeah.

Elizabeth: Exactly. Detestable fellows using singing to tempt people when singing is meant to be therapeutical.

Orion: (Eli, your singing is far from what I'd call therapeutic.)

Elizabeth: But have nothing to fear anymore! I'll be there for you!

Jason: ... Fighting song with song... Sounds viable...

Orion: The principle of fighting monsters with monsters pretty much always ends up only with more monsters to deal with, no?

Jason: If it does, Master can handle it.

Fujimaru: Me?!

Jason: Ok, you're hir...

Elizabeth: That's enough from me. You're up next!

Jason and Orion: Next?

Elizabeth (Halloween): I'm Elizabeth Bathory, here for the job of diva!

Elizabeth (Brave): I'm Elizabeth Bathory, here for the job of singing brave!

Mecha Eli-chan: I'm Magus Aegis Elizabeth Channel, not exactly related to Elizabeth Bathory. I don't really care about the sailors but I'll fulfill any task assigned to me.

Mecha Eli-chan II: I'm the second Magus Aegis Elizabeth Channel unit. Nice to meet you. Anything else I need to say? Not really. Then that's all.

Elizabeth (Cinderella): Lalala~♪ Who is the star among the rowdy sailors ~♪ Yes,me~ I'm Cinderella~and I'm the Mermaid~♪ I'll get rid of the filth~ like foam~ like foam~♪

Fujimaru: So you're detergent?

Elizabeth (Cinderella): I'll pretend I didn't hear that~♪

Jason: Too many!

Jason: I could almost fill slots slots with just Elizabeths!

Elizabeth: Yeah? And what's wrong with that?

Jason: Where's the variety? I'd have to change the name from Argonauts to Elizanauts!

Orion: Oh, but you know what? They have a pretty neat class balance. It's only really missing an Archer... Though I guess Mecha Eli's long-range make up for that.

Jason: I'd recommend you don't take this topic much further.

Elizabeth: What's wrong with you? I came for your stupid job interview and that's what you say? ... [blushing] Elizanauts?

Elizabeth (Halloween): [blushing] Elizanauts...

Elizabeth (Brave): [blushing] Elizanauts, eh...

Mecha Eli-chan: [blushing] It's worth considering.

Mecha Eli-chan II: [blushing] It certainly shows more potential than the outdated Argonauts.

Elizabeth (Cinderella): Perhaps~♪ we stumbled upon a genius idea~♪

Elizabeth: Agreed! Elizabeth's Elizabeths sailing on the Elizabeth! Sorry, puppy, but I wanna try making my own ship! Onward, girls! Set sail to the dream of the Elizanauts!

Elizabeths: Aye aye sir!

[The Elizanauts leave]

Jason: That was close...

Orion: We were so close to forming the Elizanauts ourselves... That would have been hilarious.

Jason: It's not a joke. My identity would have been in complete shambles! Whew, that was scary. Felt like I was about to be corrupted by something horrendous.

Orion: The Perfect Elinsider: Everything Turns to E.

Fujimaru: Next candidate, come on in.

Jason: There's no breather with you, huh, Master!?

Edison: Hahahaha! How inconsiderate of you to hide this amazing opportunity from me, Master! I'm Presi-King Thomas Alva Edison. Class Caster. Seeking employment on the Argonauts!

Jason: G-great! What are you good at?

Edison: Branding, what else? If let the Argo in my hands, I can get it pretty much like this!


Jason: You have some crazy ideas on this head of yours! Don't do it! You're forbidden!

Edison: Oh, but how could I let you sail around with an outdated ship model? I put together so many ideas for this.

Orion: Like for example?

Edison: With the majestic power of electricity, your vessel could get this illuminated at night.


Jason: Have mercy! I want a ship, not a gaming PC!

Edison: Aye, you guessed the theme of the design!

Jason: I'd rather die! You're not hired! ...Or hired under the condition that you don't mod anything with written permission!

HIRED. Congratulations.

Edison: Aye, it was nice negotiating with you. I'm going to write the deal plan immediately! HAAAHAHAHA! The world enters the Age of Direct Currents!

Orion: Are you sure that was a good idea?

Jason: It's fine, I'll hardly ever authorize anything. And as long as it's not too flashy, I can turn a blind eye.

Orion: Ok, Mash, please bring the next one in.

Nikola Tesla: I hear you hired the imbecile!

Jason: Yeah, yeah, hired, let's get one with the program.

HIRED. Congratulations.

Orion: That's 6 members now, not counting the Elis. Wish it was just 5, but I'm too scared to explain why.

Jason: Hm, none of them is fit for the adjutant role.

Fujimaru: What kind of person do you need?

Jason: Let's see... I'm Saber, the most optimal Class, so someone in the support role. Someone composed, logical, and who wouldn't hesitate to advise me.

Orion: So someone who can contain your ego?

Jason: Shut up. Anyways, someone like that would be ideal.

Mash: Oh, excellent. The remaining three candidates all fit the profile. Two of them aren't Casters, however.

Jason: For real? Then hired, hired, and hired!

Orion: You need three adjutants?

Jason: Three heads think better than two, my man. All I need to do is choose the best solution among my three ideal options and life will be a breeze.

Orion: Is it really that easy?

Mash: Please come in all three at the same time!

Kriemhild: Kriemhild, applying for the job just because. What was it? You want me to wreck a ship?

Semiramis: Assassin, Semiramis. Where is the throne?

Medea: I didn't apply for anything.

Jason: Wait a sec.

Orion: Wow, what a selection of bombshells. Of the most explosive kind. You can't send them away, do you understand that? Your life'd be genuinely at risk, no jokes this time! But I love it... I love hot women in any shape or form...

Jason: Why would you willingly face certain death?!

Fujimaru: Still, they fit the demand to a T.

Orion: Composed, logical, and unafraid to remonstrate the captain. Support... sure, they can do. Keep your ego in check... Dominate you...? Yeah, they're able. Funny how perfectly they fit.

Jason: No no no no no! No way! I'm not into playing with nitroglycerin! That's Orion's thing!

[Jason's three adjutants glare at him]

Orion: What was that?! Ok, I admit, I wouldn't mind if the nitroglycerin is a hot babe, but regular nitroglycerin? I'll pass.

Jason: Those three are pure regular nitroglycerin!

Orion: Do you have any idea what real nitro is? Imagine she goes to a girls-only gathering. I repeat, girls-only. And I spend that time away from her. Then she's all like "Hey, darling, why didn't you come to see me?" and shows the best interrogation techniques in the book until you lament having ever been born. The nitro in this room is nothing. I feel like I could beg for my life and they would listen to it!

Jason: None of them have an adjutant personality! They're clearly all here to kill me and take over the captain role!

Orion: Oh, you hope they're in to kill you. A fate worse than death is definitely in the cards with these three.

Jason: True! Medea in particular would totally put my skeleton to do chores like those Dragon Fang Soldiers of her.

Medea: You understand me well, Jason. Ever heard the expression "worked to the bone"?

Jason and Orion: Gah!

[The two pass out]

Semiramis: Hmph, look at that. I didn't even get the chance to bring the poison.

Kriemhild: My sword didn't get its chance to shine either. Gh, since the captain died in an unforeseen accident, the Argonauts need to be renamed Kriemhild Fleet.

[Jason stands up]

Jason: HELL NO!

Kriemhild: Oh, what a shame.

Jason: Not a shred of hesitation for attacks and conspiracy with you, huh? Well, that's what I'd expect from an anti-hero.

Orion: Pot, meet kettle.

Fujimaru: So, what's the verdict for those three?

Jason: Not hired! ...is what a coward would say, but this is a moment where a real captain must fight! If I win, you obey me! But if you win... Uh, you choose which of the three is the new captain later. Change the name to whatever you want!

Semiramis: Hoh. I see.

Kriemhild: Hmm... Alright, hmm.

Medea: Master, how much do I need to make a Servant murder look like an accident?

Jason: At least try to be subtle! But sure, I'm game. Let's settle who is the real captain once and for all! Master, turn on the battle simulator!

Fujimaru: Terrible idea, but yes sir.

Jason: Orion!

Orion: Here!

Jason: ...Summon Artemis.

Orion: Right, I wouldn't be any useful in this form!

[Battle against Medea, Semiramis, and Kriemhild. At the start of the battle, Kriem debuffs Semi and Medea's defense, Semi poisons Kriem and Medea, and Medea stuns Semi and Kriem.]

Jason: Holy shit, I can't believe I won this one.

Semiramis: Curses, we feel for his trick, Kriemhild.

Kriemhild: Yeah. When he said "you choose which of the three is the new captain later", we had to think of each other as enemies. We plotted a way to get a lead in this battle and it backfired.

Semiramis: Well, I applied only out of morbid curiosity, with no intention of working with others.

Medea: That's what this man is like. He takes no shame in doing what he needs to survive.

Jason: Anyways, no complaints about your captain, right?

Semiramis: Fine. Let the world know I'm your adjutant.

Kriemhild: I'll still take your head if you let your guard down. Are you employing me knowing that?

Medea: Two is enough, right? I'll pass up the offer.

Jason: What did you say? There's still a slot open in the crew!

Medea: You're dense beyond all salvation. Why don't you try calling the new Argonauts to assemble?

Jason: Say what? Sure. ARGONAUTS, ASSEMBLE!

[Altjuna, Mephisto, Jaws, Tesla, Edison, and Artemis appear]

[Chiyome, Paris, Corday, Mandricardo, Achilles, and Bart appear]

[Atalante, Caenis, Asclepius, Castor, Pollux, and Heracles appear]

Jason: A bit cramped in here, guys!

Medea: Get it now, you living failure?

Jason: I get why the new hires came, but why everyone else?

Atalante: What do you mean, why? You're the one who called us.

Caenis: If anything, we're the only ones with any reason to be here.

Corday: Mgh. You're not wrong... But... But...!

Mandricardo: You're completely right, actually. Sorry for being alive. That said, our run is... technically on the record, so... Oh, the big Orion said to leave his part to the bear since he's already here.

Artemis: Darling, it's cramped in here, can we go somewhere else?

Orion: Man, I really didn't expect we'd be at max capacity. I can't tell if all these people love or hate this guy.

Jason: So you really respected your captain after all!

Atalante: No, you're the captain, but "respect" is too strong of a word.

Asclepius: None from me.

Caenis: It's just not who you are.

Jason: You bunch of tsunderes!

Orion: I see, so you were acknowledged as the captain, just not respected. Basically, it's all friendship.

Artemis: I bet most women you ever approached said the same line to you, darling♪

Orion: Now you're making me depressed. Well, great that people like you, no?

Jason: NO! It's not about being liked or disliked, it's about being respected! I want praise and reverence!

Chiyome: Hm? Jason-dono, there is a ship heading in our direction!

Bartholomew: The vessel's name is... Elizabeth?

Elizabeth: Ah, ah, ahh♪ Mic check, mic check♪ Attention, everyone! I can see the Argonauts on board! Let's make them bend over to our song, bravery, and power! Show them the new era has started!

All Elizabeths: Okay!

Atalante: They gave their reasons to attack us, captain.

Jason: Damn! Crew! Prepare to intercept the enemy attack before we set sail! Long-range fighters first! Caenis, Dioscuri, Mandricardo! You're the raid force! At my signal, jump to their ship! Chiyome and Corday, jump off ship and circle to attack them from behind! And you two...

[Semi and Kriem talk in the background while Jason gives orders]

Semiramis: Sigh, he bores me.

Kriemhild: Agreed. Now I have to take my adjutant role seriously. He has no charisma nor an ambitious spirit that conquers the enemies with fear, and yet everyone has his back. That's the trust an Argo captain needs, I presume.

Semiramis: For he commands a very self-willed bunch. I'd have a hard time advising him.

Kriemhild: Why don't you try following orders for a change of pace, poison empress?

Semiramis: Interesting prospect, but I refuse. I listen to orders from no one. I leave the rest to you, Kriemhild.

Kriemhild: Sure. The crew has enough people already.

Semiramis: What a lucky fellow. To believe he can't recognize his own fortune.

Kriemhild: Isn't that what makes him likable?

[Back to Jason]

Jason: And then what you all have been waiting for: Heracles! Are you ready?

[Berserker noises]

Jason: Ready, Master?

Fujimaru: Always!

Jason: Great... Move out!

The whole crew: YES!

[Time skip]

Jason: So tired... I need to split the crew into smaller teams... or else I'll die from exhaustion...

Medea Lily: Are you okay? Need any healing?

Jason: NO. Save that for Master... I'm just really tired... I never want to work again... Well, that wasn't really work...

Medea Lily: But wasn't that nostalgic? The Argonauts. The glory days.

[Quick flashback to the original Argonauts]

Jason: A little... ...Don't tell anyone.

Medea Lily: Of course not♪

This is a secret only between me and my dear Jason. A secret conversation I won't share with anyone. So if you heard it, keep it to yourself. It'd be wonderful if he can one day remember that the ship that crushed his dreams was also a ship that made him smile with pride. The Argo, our proud, radiant ship. Please, light our way one more time.

6th Profile section unlocked

He's petty and cowardly, but his wish to be a hero is greater than anyone's. Overall a very unheroic personality, for better or worse.

That said, as Medea put it in the battle in the Time Temple, "the more cornered he is, the faster his brain runs". Under the intense peril of the Atlantis Lostbelt, he got his chance to show off what he's made off.

Jason's nature to escape peril through gambits was an extraordinarily bad matchup for the always logical and rational Odysseus.

In that sense, even summoned as a Servant it might be difficult for him to live the life of glory he always wanted.

He might not know it, but part of him subconsciously wants to be thrown into predicaments.

It's the "Don't press the big red button! Do not press the big red button!" effect.