Lanling Wang
Some Say There Was a Lack of Something Vital
Narration:
7:00 a.m.
Narration:
The time when most Chaldean Servants begin going about their day.
Narration:
While there are notable exceptions, such as the night owls and Servants who stay in their spirit forms...
Narration:
...our subject is apparently one of the many who start their day at 7:00 a.m.
Narration:
Although Servants do not need to eat to survive, many of them choose to do so for the social and psychological benefits.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Good morning, everyone.
Narration:
The subject takes a seat at the dining table.
Narration:
Of course, in his case, his “meal” consists of no more than a slice of bread and a glass of orange juice.
Narration:
After quickly finishing his “meal,” the subject strikes up a conversation with a nearby Servant.
Bartholomew:
Well, what do you know?
I'm a hidden eyes kind of guy too.
Prince of Lan Ling:
I see.
Bartholomew:
Guess this means the day's finally come for you to lower your bangs as well, huh?
Prince of Lan Ling:
Hahaha.
By the way, on a completely different subject...
Bartholomew:
(Damn, he's a slippery one.)
Narration:
8:00 a.m.
Narration:
By this point, the more diligent Servants are already hard at work, whether that entails research, training, investigating, or any number of other fields.
Narration:
Our subject has chosen a simulator training regimen as though it were the most natural thing in the world.
Narration:
His opponent...
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
I shall be your opponent today.
Prince of Lan Ling:
You have my thanks, Lord Yagyu.
Now then...have at you!
--BATTLE--:
Prince of Lan Ling:
Okay, I think that's enough for today.
Forgive me for cutting the proceedings short.
Prince of Lan Ling:
I simply fear that if we go any further,
I too may end up treating this like a genuine duel.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
...I see.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
If I may, Prince of Lan Ling, your swordplay strikes me as similar to sword dancing.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
It retains all the grace and suppleness of dance...
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
...without sacrificing the sword's weight or cutting edge.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Haha, that's very kind of you, but my style is nothing to boast about. It's something I had to devise on my own.
Prince of Lan Ling:
As a general, I was so busy studying politics and warfare that I only had time to learn the bare minimum of martial arts.
Prince of Lan Ling:
All the techniques I use now were moves I developed on the battlefield. I turned out to be much more adept at dodging than defense, so that's what I tended to focus on.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
I see. So your sword dancing was forged in the heat of battle.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Your swordplay, on the other hand, was breathtakingly refined, Lord Yagyu. I learned a great deal from this sparring session.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
My Otomeryu is not ordinarily meant to be seen by outside eyes...
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
But that was a concern for my living self. Now that I am a Servant–a shadow sworn to serve a new Master–it is no longer relevant.
Prince of Lan Ling:
I see. Now that humanity itself is in crisis,
we can't be choosy about how we fight back.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Be that as it may, I am afraid I cannot allow myself to copy your style.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
My son, Mitsuyoshi, would have no compunctions about claiming any technique he liked as his own, but no matter.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Does that mean your son has a different style than you, Lord Yagyu?
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Oh yes, very different. His talent with the blade came to him naturally, and his technique can only be described as flawless.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Nonetheless, the world is a big place. There is surely someone somewhere strong enough to rend steel with their bare hands.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Ah yes, like the ones descended from living, breathing gods.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Good point. Then I suppose we will just have to train hard enough to keep up with them.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Indeed.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Oh, it looks like the next group is here.
I'd best be on my way then.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Very well. Until the next time.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Hmm. It seems he noticed my warrior's instincts getting the best of me. What a pity.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
Now then, you there.
Narration:
Urk.
Yagyu Tajima-no-kami:
What have you been doing this whole time?
Narration:
After being called out by the nonsubject male,
I decided to make a swift and quiet getaway.
--ARROW--:
Narration:
12:00 p.m.
Lunchtime.
Narration:
However, the subject heads to the underground library rather than the cafeteria.
Narration:
Oh, just for the record...
Narration:
I'd like you all to know that the library's name was recently changed to:
Narration:
...“The Great and Terrible Yet Beautiful Murasaki Shikibu Library” I've heard so much about!
Murasaki Shikibu:
Oh, hello, Prince of Lan Ling.
What sort of book are you looking for today?
Prince of Lan Ling:
Good question...
Murasaki Shikibu:
Well, we did just get in a few grimoires and valuable antique books thanks to a certain, um, anonymous donor...
Prince of Lan Ling:
I see.
Prince of Lan Ling:
(Despite getting new books, she seems rather preoccupied...)
Murasaki Shikibu:
I'm afraid we have yet to receive the new shipment of military strategy books I've been expecting...
Prince of Lan Ling:
Oh, I know. What about a book that Master would like?
Prince of Lan Ling:
I could bring it with me the next time I visit [♂ him /♀️ her].
Murasaki Shikibu:
Oh, what a lovely idea.
Murasaki Shikibu:
Okay then, wait here, please.
Murasaki Shikibu:
Um, let's see...
I think it was above this shelf...
Prince of Lan Ling:
Uh-oh.
Murasaki Shikibu:
Aah!
Prince of Lan Ling:
Forgive me. This was the only way I could think to help in the short time I had to act.
Murasaki Shikibu:
O-o-oh gosh, I'm so terribly sorry!
Prince of Lan Ling:
Not at all. The important thing is that you're okay.
Murasaki Shikibu:
O-oh, yes, I'm fine. Besides, it's all my fault for not being more careful...
Prince of Lan Ling:
Accidents happen to the best of us.
Please, pay it no mind.
Prince of Lan Ling:
So, is this the book you were looking for?
Murasaki Shikibu:
Y-yes, that's it.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Then I'll go ahead and check it out straight away.
Thank you for your help.
Murasaki Shikibu:
My pleasure.
Narration:
...And so our subject makes a graceful exit, apologizing for his intrusion in touching Murasaki Shikibu's body even as his gentle smile makes it clear he meant no harm.
Murasaki Shikibu:
(Sigh)...
Murasaki Shikibu:
That may well be the most beautiful man I've ever met, in multiple senses of the word.
Murasaki Shikibu:
Even with the mask on, he had my heart pounding. I shudder to think of what may have happened had he not been wearing it.
Murasaki Shikibu:
...H-hang on. I think I might be able to use this feeling in a story! I'll go write it down in my idea notebook right now.
Narration:
4:00 p.m.
Narration:
The subject strikes up a conversation with two passersby.
Paris:
I see...
So that's why you wear that mask.
Jason:
Man, it's a good thing you weren't born in Greece.
Jason:
Back there, good looks like that would either get you cursed or blessed, and there'd be hell to pay either way.
Prince of Lan Ling:
I can understand the downside of being cursed...
but wouldn't a blessing be a good thing?
Jason:
Hardly. Sure, a blessing might mean you'd be living the good life for a while, but one wrong word and bam, the gods go divine retribution on your ass.
Jason:
Hell, maybe they just decide to go retribution on you 'cause they think you're getting too full of yourself.
Jason:
Either way, the only ending you'd get is a bad one!
Paris:
Oh yeah, that sort of thing happened all the time!
Prince of Lan Ling:
I see. It sounds like Greece had its fair share of troubles as well...
Jason:
Then again, you wouldn't be the first to hide your face under a mask. Pency used to do the same thing.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Pency?
Jason:
You know, the Berserker who's always flying off the handle?
Jason:
Real short?
Abs that could grate cheese?
Paris:
(Apollo's getting a bad feeling about this!
Abort! Abort!)
Jason:
What was her real name again?
Oh, right!
Jason:
Pencil-Lilia!
Penthesilea:
You mangled my name on purpose! DIE!!!
Jason:
Huh–WAAAH!
Penthesilea:
(Huff, huff...)
Penthesilea:
(Glare)
Prince of Lan Ling:
For the record, I swear on my honor that I never said anything untoward about you.
Prince of Lan Ling:
That said, I should have stopped Lord Jason before he shouted your mangled name. For that, I sincerely apologize.
Penthesilea:
...Very well. But I should mention that I have no desire for there to be any bad blood between us.
Penthesilea:
Come with me to the simulator.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Does that mean you wish to fight?
Penthesilea:
I would have let you go if you were a Caster, but as you are a Saber, you should be capable of defending your honor yourself.
Penthesilea:
Unless, of course, that sword of yours is just for show?
Prince of Lan Ling:
...I suppose you're right.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Besides, I could learn a great deal by facing one of Greece's fiercest warriors in mortal combat.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Very well then, let us do battle.
--BATTLE--:
Penthesilea:
I have seen the truth of your words in the strength of your sword arm. Very well then, our battle is concluded!
Penthesilea:
I accept you as a fellow warrior and now trust your word that you meant no disrespect!
Prince of Lan Ling:
Thank you, Lady Penthesilea.
Penthesilea:
By the way, that mask of yours...
Prince of Lan Ling:
Yes?
Penthesilea:
I assume you do not get moisture buildup on your face when you are fighting while wearing it? That must be nice.
Prince of Lan Ling:
That's right, I don't. This mask only covers my eyes, so there's plenty of room for air to circulate.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Of course, it also extends up past my face, so I have to be careful when going through doors and such.
Penthesilea:
Hmm... I see.
Penthesilea:
The climate may have been largely responsible for this, but I always found quite a lot of moisture built up in my mask when I wore it in battle.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Was it the kind that covers your entire face?
Penthesilea:
It was. I cannot tell you how terribly I felt the urge simply to scratch my nose on countless occasions.
Narration:
And so Penthesilea and our subject continued their pleasant conversation about masks.
Narration:
When it was over, they both went merrily on their way, much to my relief.
Jason:
I-I only mangled it on purpose a little bit...
Narration:
Jason, of course, remains clueless.
--ARROW--:
Narration:
6:00 p.m.
Prince of Lan Ling:
...
...
Narration:
The subject suddenly goes silent.
Prince of Lan Ling:
I've been looking the other way since you didn't seem to mean any harm, but now that you've been following me around all day, I feel compelled to ask.
Prince of Lan Ling:
What is it you want with me, Lord Blackbeard!?
Blackbeard:
...
...
Fujimaru 1:
You wanna run that by me again?
Blackbeard:
I just told you! What's the freaking deal with that pretty boy!?
Blackbeard:
Prince of Lan Ling?
More like Prince of OP Super Hotties!
Blackbeard:
I mean, I know Chaldea's always had more than its fair share of hunks, but he just takes it too far!
Fou:
Fou. Fooou...
Blackbeard:
Take Bartholomew. He might act all dandy, but it doesn't take long to see he's a gross creepfest on the inside!
Blackbeard:
So you just know that Lan Ling guy's got to be hiding something too!
Fujimaru 1:
So you're jealous of him? Is that what this is about?
Blackbeard:
Me? Jealous? Of him?
Pfft. No way. Not in a million years.
Fou:
Fou.
Blackbeard:
I just figure nobody could actually be that perfect,
so there must be something we're not seeing.
Fujimaru 1:
I don't know. He seems pretty perfect to me.
Blackbeard:
Well, I don't buy it. Guys like that always end up having some kind of weird fetish or something they don't wanna tell anyone else about, guaranteed.
Fujimaru 2:
So what if there is?
Blackbeard:
Well, if there's something we're not seeing, I wanna see it, dammit!
Blackbeard:
Besides, it's just human nature to want to find fault with anyone who seems too good to be true!
Blackbeard:
Which is why I'm not going to rest until I've uncovered the truth about him!
Blackbeard:
Wooo, let's do this thing!
Gimme a C! H! A! L! D! E! A! Gooo Chaldea!
Fujimaru 1:
What was that all about...?
Blackbeard:
And so, I have returned with my findings!
Blackbeard:
Long story short:
Blackbeard:
He's handsome on the inside too!!!
Blackbeard:
(Sigh) What a letdown.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Th-that's why you were following me around all day?
Fujimaru 1:
I have to admit, you really were a perfect gentleman...
Prince of Lan Ling:
Now don't you start too, Master!
Blackbeard:
Right!? Just look at how carefully he placed his hands when he caught Murasaki!
Blackbeard:
See how he did his best to avoid touching her skin even as he made sure to support her head?
Blackbeard:
If I didn't know better, I'd have sworn I was watching a scene straight out of a visual romance novel (the kind that induces serious blushing).
Blackbeard:
Incidentally, scenes like that are called “CGs” in some games, depending on the genre.
Blackbeard:
The more you know, amirite!?
Fujimaru 1:
I-it really is like poetry in motion...
Prince of Lan Ling:
When did you even record that?
Blackbeard:
Oh yes, I'm not too proud to admit that my inner badump circuit was running like crazy while this was going down.
Fujimaru 1:
I didn't even know you had a...whatever that is.
Blackbeard:
Oh sure. It's right between my heart and my stomach.
Blackbeard:
Once it spins up, you get palpitations, flop sweat, fever, flushed skin, dizzy spells, weak knees, and hyperventilation, though not necessarily in that order.
Blackbeard:
You know, now that I think about it, I really should look into getting that circuit removed!
Prince of Lan Ling:
Um... Master? Could we please make that...man stop?
Fujimaru 1:
Yeah, I guess we should. (That circuit sounds like seriously bad news)
Fujimaru 2:
True, this has definitely gone on long enough.
Blackbeard:
Oh yeah? Then let's take this outside! I know I might not look it, but I'm still an ultra badass pirate!
Prince of Lan Ling:
(The fact that it's true only makes him that much more difficult to deal with...)
Blackbeard:
Hehehe... What a lucky break for me,
getting to fight on a ship.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Are you sure you didn't touch the simulation's settings!?
Blackbeard:
Heh heh heh.
Blackbeard:
If you think that's all I've got in store for you,
you're gravely mistaken.
Prince of Lan Ling:
What?
Blackbeard:
Let's just say that Blackbeard is never alone!
Fujimaru 1:
You mean there's another one of you? Oh gods, please no.
Blackbeard:
Thank you for your honesty, Master.
It's much appreciated.
Blackbeard:
We hope you'll continue to enjoy Blackbeard brand products for many years to come.
Fujimaru 2:
You mean you've still got crew members!?
Blackbeard:
Hehehe. You won't find the sad sack Blackbeard who used to lie on the ground weeping tears of loneliness here anymore.
Blackbeard:
Er, not that he ever existed to begin with, of course.
Blackbeard:
All right, tactician, come forth!
Chen Gong:
Good day, everyone. I am Chen Gong, the tactician Lord Blackbeard just spoke of.
Chen Gong:
I'm a busy man, of course, but as I was told this is a time-sensitive matter, I decided to leave my errant tasks for later and drop by.
Chen Gong:
And by time-sensitive matter, well...
I trust you know of what I speak?
Prince of Lan Ling:
(Um, Master?)
Fujimaru 1:
(I think I can already see where this is going...)
Fujimaru 2:
(Just be ready to run for it at a moment's notice!)
Blackbeard:
All right, let's do this thing! By the way, tactician,
can I ask why you're standing directly behind me?
--BATTLE--:
Chen Gong:
I know what you're thinking, so before you even ask:
it was a necessary sacrifice.
Prince of Lan Ling:
If you say so...
Blackbeard:
Gaaah! I really thought I was done for!
Blackbeard:
Who knew just activating Guts took so much energy...
Prince of Lan Ling:
Easy there. Are you all right, Lord Blackbeard?
Blackbeard:
...
...
Fujimaru 1:
THIS is the music they're playing now!?
Blackbeard:
Oh man, I finally got that event CG I wanted after all...
Blackbeard:
I can feel my badump circuit whirring around... Pretty soon, I'll be my own little Blackbeard Restoration Labyrinth...
Prince of Lan Ling:
(No earthly idea what he's talking about)
Prince of Lan Ling:
This has been a very tiring day...
Fujimaru 1:
I bet!
Prince of Lan Ling:
Lord Blackbeard seemed very dejected when he left...
Prince of Lan Ling:
I do hope he'll be okay.
Fujimaru 2:
It was kind of refreshing seeing you perturbed for once, though.
Prince of Lan Ling:
You know, you can be kind of mean-spirited sometimes, Master.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Still, I haven't had a day like this in a long time.
For that, I owe Lord Blackbeard my thanks.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Having your day turned upside down by someone you least expected may seem exhausting from the outside...
Prince of Lan Ling:
...but if nothing else,
there's certainly never a dull moment.
Fujimaru 1:
Welcome to my life.
Prince of Lan Ling:
Oh, right! I guess you do experience that all the time, don't you?
Prince of Lan Ling:
...
...
Prince of Lan Ling:
In that case, Master, would you like to swap war stories with me tonight?
Prince of Lan Ling:
I suspect that both of us have plenty of tales of hardship we could tell.