Mysterious Heroine X
Saber Slayer, Chapter Dawn
Mash:
The Saber of Sabers?
X:
Right. The best, strongest, and greatest of all Sabers...
That's...
X:
THE SABER OF SABERS!
Dr. Roman:
And there's a tournament to decide who gets the title...? Really?
X:
It's true. Why?
Dr. Roman:
(No, "Are you really the King of the Holy Sword?" was what I wanted to ask...)
X:
Anyways, it's the ultimate festival where Sabers gather from all over the world. I can't stand it!
X:
Why didn't I get an invitation?
I am the greatest of all Sabers!
X:
They should be sending an invitation to me in due solemnity, carefully packed with sweets! Or bacon, ham, and sausage!
Fujimaru 1:
Y-Yeah, they should...
Mash:
Nobody can stop Heroine X when she gets like this...
Fujimaru 2:
You're, um...an Assassin.
X:
There you go again, Master...
I am CLEARLY a Saber.
X:
Anyway, I will not allow any tournament that refuses to admit me happen.
X:
I need to get in there and show them what a real Saber looks like! So let's go bust some heads!
Fou:
Fou...
Announcer:
The tournament keeps heating up! Challengers for the third round... Enter the arena!
Announcer:
She's great at staying home while everyone's out! She can handle (rebellion) by herself!
Announcer:
It's Mordred, the Treacherous Knight!
Mordred:
So you're my next opponent, huh... Hmm?
Have I seen you somewhere before?
X:
... (Sweatdrop)
Announcer:
Identity unknown! Origin unknown!
"I am THE Saber of Sabers!"
Announcer:
By the way, you're not a Saber, are you?
It's Mysterious Heroine X, AKA
Announcer:
MYSTERIOUS HEROINE X!!
Mash:
A redundant introduction...
Mordred:
Wait, is that you, Father? It IS you!
What are you doing with that weird hat?
X:
I don't know whose child you are, but I'm fighting for the world and for Sabers!
X:
It's time for you to die with a hole in your stomach!!
Mordred:
Why!?
--BATTLE--:
Mordred:
This sword style... So you ARE Fath–
X:
Secret technique: NO COMMENT!
--BATTLE--:
Mordred:
This lack of mercy... You really must be...
F-Father...
X:
YOU'RE-OUT-OF-THE-WILL-CALIBUR!
Mordred:
Whaaaaaat!?
Father, you jerk!
X:
An easy victory!
X:
England's crisis has been averted,
and another Saber who isn't me has disappeared.
Mash:
Um, perhaps you've met your opponent before somewhere...
X:
Nope! Definitely not! Never seen 'em!
DEFINITELY not a member of my family!
Dr. Roman:
W-What is going on?
Fou:
Fooou...
Saber Slayer, Chapter Battle
X:
Ages have passed since the last match, and I've Caliburn'd down countless Sabers.
X:
At last, the time has come!
Mash:
The time has come, huh...
Fujimaru 1:
Mash?
Mash:
I-I'm fine, Senpai!
I'm just a little tired...
Fujimaru 2:
Have you stopped caring?
Mash:
N-No, definitely not, Senpai!
I'm just a little tired...
Dr. Roman:
I'm not sure why, but I think Mash is starting to feel a little under the weather.
Fou:
Foouu...
Announcer:
Competitors for the next match, enter!
On the east side, a competitor from the Far East...
Announcer:
...defeating countless Sabers with overwhelming power, it's Mysterious Heroine X... AKA
Announcer:
MYSTERIOUS HEROINE X!
Mash:
I'm telling you, that's redundant.
Announcer:
And on the west side, from Rome...comes a lady who's taken time away from running the country!
Announcer:
We the people have been waiting for you!
The Emperor of Rose, blooming in Eternal Rome!
Announcer:
HER MAJESTY NERO CLAUDIUS!
Nero:
I thank you all for coming!
I am the Fifth Emperor of the great Roman Empire...
Nero:
Nero Claudius!
Mash:
N-Nero's really popular, huh?
Dr. Roman:
Well, this is her home...
X:
Tch... If this was held in Britain, I know for a fact I'd be getting more cheers!
Nero:
Umu, umu! An emperor must live up to the expectations of the people! Now how about a pre-match song!?
X:
Your days of wickedness are at an end, tyrant Nero...
Or should I say...
X:
RED SABER!
Nero:
What!? Y-You're...
X:
Heh... Don't tell me you've forgotten this face.
You're finished at last, Red Saber.
X:
Sabers are supposed to be BLUE, you hear me?
Black and white are not to be allowed either.
X:
Well, personally I didn't mind that color lineup, but red is OUT! NO MORE RED!
Dr. Roman:
Oh, she didn't mind it, huh?
X:
I never gave permission for Sabers to be split into blue and red, anyway!
X:
Then you come along, posing as this heinous, super-popular Emperor everyone loves...
X:
I'm THROUGH letting you get away with your bluffing!
Nero:
Y-You...
X:
It's too late to beg for your life...
Nero:
By the way, who are you?
X:
DIIIEEEEE!
--BATTLE--:
Nero:
Tch, I don't know who you are, but you're good!
E-Even I am surprised at how good you are, but I'll act tough anyway!
X:
Heh... I truly am the strongest Saber.
If you're willing to apologize and throw me a feast...
X:
I just might forgive you.
Nero:
But I cannot lose! Everyone!
Give me your power to protect Rome from this invader!
X:
Historically, you're the invader!
--BATTLE--:
Nero:
I-I can't believe you won...
Such obsession, and such bizarre, inexplicable power...
Nero:
Gasp! I remember you!
How could I have forgotten?
X:
You finally remembered? But it's too late n–
Nero:
You're Jeanne! You're Jeanne d'Arc,
the girl with the amazing, voluptuous breasts!
X:
THAT'S-DEFAMATION-CALIBUR!
X:
I did it, Master!
I defeated another Saber!
Fujimaru 1:
Huh? No, um... Yeah.
Fujimaru 2:
K-Keep it up.
X:
Right! Leave it to me!
I will beat all the other Sabers!
Mash:
S-Senpai...
Shouldn't you stop her soon?
Dr. Roman:
How long are we going to be doing this?
Fou:
Foou...
Saber Slayer, Chapter Awaken
Announcer:
It's time for the much anticipated final round! The last battle to decide who the Saber of Sabers will be!
Announcer:
It'll be held here, in the northern lands of Britain,
in this mysterious castle with a long, storied history!
Mash:
It's storied but mysterious, huh...
Fujimaru 1:
So we moved locations.
X:
It makes sense to hold the last battle in Britain, a sacred place for Sabers.
Fujimaru 2:
It's good that it has a history.
Mash:
Now Senpai's stopped caring too...
Announcer:
Now... ENTER THE ARENA!
At last it's time!
Announcer:
A Saber whose affiliation, age, blood-type, and birthday, are all a mystery! Mysterious Heroine X, AKA...
Announcer:
MYSTERIOUS HEROINE XXXXXXXXX!
Mash:
Again with the redundancy... Oh, forget it.
Dr. Roman:
Mash is completely done with this, huh?
Fou:
Fou, fooou.
Announcer:
And sitting on her throne is the legendary,
ultimate blue Saber...
Announcer:
ABSOLUTE MONARCH ALTRIAAAAAAA!
Altria:
Um, excuse me... No one actually told me why I'm here.
What is this, exactly?
X:
At last the day has come...
She and I are two sides of a coin... Light and shadow...
X:
But I cannot become the true Saber,
unless I can overcome her!
Fujimaru 1:
No, you're both the same Saber, so... Huh?
Mash:
Senpai... Let's just not think about it too hard...
My head is really starting to hurt.
Fujimaru 2:
Let's go, Blue Sab I mean, Mysterious Heroine X!
Mash:
Senpai... W-Well, if this is the last fight,
I think I can get through this...
X:
I am the greatest, strongest, and ultimate Saber...
Mysterious Heroine X!
X:
I'm worried about parallel worlds and causality and stuff causing a space-time collapse, but here I go!
Altria:
Ugh!? Why do I feel like I'm staring at my own dark side?
Altria:
I can't let this Saber out into the world...
I don't know why, but for my own sake as well as others!
X:
Now let us battle for the title of true Saber!
--BATTLE--:
Altria:
W-What a dark aura...
What is it that drives you?
X:
You wouldn't understand...
The terror of having more faces like you showing up!
Dr. Roman:
No, I think she totally understands...
Altria:
I have this feeling that if I don't put an end to you, my reputation will be in danger!
Altria:
Stars, lend your power to my holy sword!
The power to beat that bad, weird me!
X:
My Holy Sword, destroy all Sabers!
This is a battle I cannot lose!
Mash:
T-This is completely out of control!
--BATTLE--:
Altria:
I-Impossible... I have the home field advantage...
I even have max bonus for being famous...(Ka-Thud)
X:
...I-I won! I won, Master!
At last, at last I'm...
X:
THE SABER OF SABERS!
Fujimaru 1:
Congrats, Sab– I mean Heroine X!
X:
Thank you, Master! Now I don't have to sob into my pillow at night in fear of unknown Sabers anymore!
Fujimaru 2:
You say something too, Mash.
Mash:
Huh? M-Me?
Mash:
Congratulations, Alt–
I mean Mysterious Heroine X!
X:
At last, all Sabers have been destroyed! As the ultimate Saber, I can advance on wonderfully and invincibly...
X:
...through a Holy Grail War just for Sabers...
The true Holy Grail War begins!
Lots of Sabers:
Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations!
X:
Thank you, everyone!
Thank you, everyone!
X:
I have surpassed all Sabers to become the ultimate Saber. I am now...
X:
THE SABER OF SABERS!
???:
...er, ...ber... Wait, I mean Mysterious Heroine X!
X:
By the way, I don't think you noticed,
but I'm actually King Ar– Huh!?
Mash:
We're having udon noodles for dinner.
It's time to get up.
X:
T-This... This can't be...
Fujimaru 1:
Were you asleep?
Fujimaru 2:
You don't want udon?
X:
The old "it was all a dream" ending?
Who does that anymore!?
Fou:
FOOOOU!