Mysterious Heroine X

Saber Slayer, Chapter Dawn

Mash: The Saber of Sabers?

X: Right. The best, strongest, and greatest of all Sabers... That's...


Dr. Roman: And there's a tournament to decide who gets the title...? Really?

X: It's true. Why?

Dr. Roman: (No, "Are you really the King of the Holy Sword?" was what I wanted to ask...)

X: Anyways, it's the ultimate festival where Sabers gather from all over the world. I can't stand it!

X: Why didn't I get an invitation? I am the greatest of all Sabers!

X: They should be sending an invitation to me in due solemnity, carefully packed with sweets! Or bacon, ham, and sausage!

Fujimaru 1: Y-Yeah, they should...

Mash: Nobody can stop Heroine X when she gets like this...

Fujimaru 2: You're, Assassin.

X: There you go again, Master... I am CLEARLY a Saber.

X: Anyway, I will not allow any tournament that refuses to admit me happen.

X: I need to get in there and show them what a real Saber looks like! So let's go bust some heads!

Fou: Fou...

Announcer: The tournament keeps heating up! Challengers for the third round... Enter the arena!

Announcer: She's great at staying home while everyone's out! She can handle (rebellion) by herself!

Announcer: It's Mordred, the Treacherous Knight!

Mordred: So you're my next opponent, huh... Hmm? Have I seen you somewhere before?

X: ... (Sweatdrop)

Announcer: Identity unknown! Origin unknown! "I am THE Saber of Sabers!"

Announcer: By the way, you're not a Saber, are you? It's Mysterious Heroine X, AKA


Mash: A redundant introduction...

Mordred: Wait, is that you, Father? It IS you! What are you doing with that weird hat?

X: I don't know whose child you are, but I'm fighting for the world and for Sabers!

X: It's time for you to die with a hole in your stomach!!

Mordred: Why!?


Mordred: This sword style... So you ARE Fath–

X: Secret technique: NO COMMENT!


Mordred: This lack of mercy... You really must be... F-Father...


Mordred: Whaaaaaat!? Father, you jerk!

X: An easy victory!

X: England's crisis has been averted, and another Saber who isn't me has disappeared.

Mash: Um, perhaps you've met your opponent before somewhere...

X: Nope! Definitely not! Never seen 'em! DEFINITELY not a member of my family!

Dr. Roman: W-What is going on?

Fou: Fooou...

Saber Slayer, Chapter Battle

X: Ages have passed since the last match, and I've Caliburn'd down countless Sabers.

X: At last, the time has come!

Mash: The time has come, huh...

Fujimaru 1: Mash?

Mash: I-I'm fine, Senpai!

I'm just a little tired...

Fujimaru 2: Have you stopped caring?

Mash: N-No, definitely not, Senpai!

I'm just a little tired...

Dr. Roman: I'm not sure why, but I think Mash is starting to feel a little under the weather.

Fou: Foouu...

Announcer: Competitors for the next match, enter! On the east side, a competitor from the Far East...

Announcer: ...defeating countless Sabers with overwhelming power, it's Mysterious Heroine X... AKA


Mash: I'm telling you, that's redundant.

Announcer: And on the west side, from Rome...comes a lady who's taken time away from running the country!

Announcer: We the people have been waiting for you! The Emperor of Rose, blooming in Eternal Rome!


Nero: I thank you all for coming! I am the Fifth Emperor of the great Roman Empire...

Nero: Nero Claudius!

Mash: N-Nero's really popular, huh?

Dr. Roman: Well, this is her home...

X: Tch... If this was held in Britain, I know for a fact I'd be getting more cheers!

Nero: Umu, umu! An emperor must live up to the expectations of the people! Now how about a pre-match song!?

X: Your days of wickedness are at an end, tyrant Nero... Or should I say...


Nero: What!? Y-You're...

X: Heh... Don't tell me you've forgotten this face. You're finished at last, Red Saber.

X: Sabers are supposed to be BLUE, you hear me? Black and white are not to be allowed either.

X: Well, personally I didn't mind that color lineup, but red is OUT! NO MORE RED!

Dr. Roman: Oh, she didn't mind it, huh?

X: I never gave permission for Sabers to be split into blue and red, anyway!

X: Then you come along, posing as this heinous, super-popular Emperor everyone loves...

X: I'm THROUGH letting you get away with your bluffing!

Nero: Y-You...

X: It's too late to beg for your life...

Nero: By the way, who are you?



Nero: Tch, I don't know who you are, but you're good! E-Even I am surprised at how good you are, but I'll act tough anyway!

X: Heh... I truly am the strongest Saber. If you're willing to apologize and throw me a feast...

X: I just might forgive you.

Nero: But I cannot lose! Everyone! Give me your power to protect Rome from this invader!

X: Historically, you're the invader!


Nero: I-I can't believe you won... Such obsession, and such bizarre, inexplicable power...

Nero: Gasp! I remember you! How could I have forgotten?

X: You finally remembered? But it's too late n–

Nero: You're Jeanne! You're Jeanne d'Arc, the girl with the amazing, voluptuous breasts!


X: I did it, Master! I defeated another Saber!

Fujimaru 1: Huh? No, um... Yeah.

Fujimaru 2: K-Keep it up.

X: Right! Leave it to me! I will beat all the other Sabers!

Mash: S-Senpai... Shouldn't you stop her soon?

Dr. Roman: How long are we going to be doing this?

Fou: Foou...

Saber Slayer, Chapter Awaken

Announcer: It's time for the much anticipated final round! The last battle to decide who the Saber of Sabers will be!

Announcer: It'll be held here, in the northern lands of Britain, in this mysterious castle with a long, storied history!

Mash: It's storied but mysterious, huh...

Fujimaru 1: So we moved locations.

X: It makes sense to hold the last battle in Britain, a sacred place for Sabers.

Fujimaru 2: It's good that it has a history.

Mash: Now Senpai's stopped caring too...

Announcer: Now... ENTER THE ARENA! At last it's time!

Announcer: A Saber whose affiliation, age, blood-type, and birthday, are all a mystery! Mysterious Heroine X, AKA...


Mash: Again with the redundancy... Oh, forget it.

Dr. Roman: Mash is completely done with this, huh?

Fou: Fou, fooou.

Announcer: And sitting on her throne is the legendary, ultimate blue Saber...


Altria: Um, excuse me... No one actually told me why I'm here. What is this, exactly?

X: At last the day has come... She and I are two sides of a coin... Light and shadow...

X: But I cannot become the true Saber, unless I can overcome her!

Fujimaru 1: No, you're both the same Saber, so... Huh?

Mash: Senpai... Let's just not think about it too hard... My head is really starting to hurt.

Fujimaru 2: Let's go, Blue Sab I mean, Mysterious Heroine X!

Mash: Senpai... W-Well, if this is the last fight, I think I can get through this...

X: I am the greatest, strongest, and ultimate Saber... Mysterious Heroine X!

X: I'm worried about parallel worlds and causality and stuff causing a space-time collapse, but here I go!

Altria: Ugh!? Why do I feel like I'm staring at my own dark side?

Altria: I can't let this Saber out into the world... I don't know why, but for my own sake as well as others!

X: Now let us battle for the title of true Saber!


Altria: W-What a dark aura... What is it that drives you?

X: You wouldn't understand... The terror of having more faces like you showing up!

Dr. Roman: No, I think she totally understands...

Altria: I have this feeling that if I don't put an end to you, my reputation will be in danger!

Altria: Stars, lend your power to my holy sword! The power to beat that bad, weird me!

X: My Holy Sword, destroy all Sabers! This is a battle I cannot lose!

Mash: T-This is completely out of control!


Altria: I-Impossible... I have the home field advantage... I even have max bonus for being famous...(Ka-Thud)

X: ...I-I won! I won, Master! At last, at last I'm...


Fujimaru 1: Congrats, Sab– I mean Heroine X!

X: Thank you, Master! Now I don't have to sob into my pillow at night in fear of unknown Sabers anymore!

Fujimaru 2: You say something too, Mash.

Mash: Huh? M-Me?

Mash: Congratulations, Alt– I mean Mysterious Heroine X!

X: At last, all Sabers have been destroyed! As the ultimate Saber, I can advance on wonderfully and invincibly...

X: ...through a Holy Grail War just for Sabers... The true Holy Grail War begins!

Lots of Sabers: Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations!

X: Thank you, everyone! Thank you, everyone!

X: I have surpassed all Sabers to become the ultimate Saber. I am now...


???:, ...ber... Wait, I mean Mysterious Heroine X!

X: By the way, I don't think you noticed, but I'm actually King Ar– Huh!?

Mash: We're having udon noodles for dinner. It's time to get up.

X: T-This... This can't be...

Fujimaru 1: Were you asleep?

Fujimaru 2: You don't want udon?

X: The old "it was all a dream" ending? Who does that anymore!?