Mysterious Heroine X
Saber Slayer, Chapter Dawn
Mash: The Saber of Sabers?
X: Right. The best, strongest, and greatest of all Sabers... That's...
X: THE SABER OF SABERS!
Dr. Roman: And there's a tournament to decide who gets the title...? Really?
X: It's true. Why?
Dr. Roman: (No, "Are you really the King of the Holy Sword?" was what I wanted to ask...)
X: Anyways, it's the ultimate festival where Sabers gather from all over the world. I can't stand it!
X: Why didn't I get an invitation? I am the greatest of all Sabers!
X: They should be sending an invitation to me in due solemnity, carefully packed with sweets! Or bacon, ham, and sausage!
Fujimaru 1: Y-Yeah, they should...
Mash: Nobody can stop Heroine X when she gets like this...
Fujimaru 2: You're, um...an Assassin.
X: There you go again, Master... I am CLEARLY a Saber.
X: Anyway, I will not allow any tournament that refuses to admit me happen.
X: I need to get in there and show them what a real Saber looks like! So let's go bust some heads!
Fou: Fou...
Announcer: The tournament keeps heating up! Challengers for the third round... Enter the arena!
Announcer: She's great at staying home while everyone's out! She can handle (rebellion) by herself!
Announcer: It's Mordred, the Treacherous Knight!
Mordred: So you're my next opponent, huh... Hmm? Have I seen you somewhere before?
X: ... (Sweatdrop)
Announcer: Identity unknown! Origin unknown! "I am THE Saber of Sabers!"
Announcer: By the way, you're not a Saber, are you? It's Mysterious Heroine X, AKA
Announcer: MYSTERIOUS HEROINE X!!
Mash: A redundant introduction...
Mordred: Wait, is that you, Father? It IS you! What are you doing with that weird hat?
X: I don't know whose child you are, but I'm fighting for the world and for Sabers!
X: It's time for you to die with a hole in your stomach!!
Mordred: Why!?
--BATTLE--:
Mordred: This sword style... So you ARE Fath–
X: Secret technique: NO COMMENT!
--BATTLE--:
Mordred: This lack of mercy... You really must be... F-Father...
X: YOU'RE-OUT-OF-THE-WILL-CALIBUR!
Mordred: Whaaaaaat!? Father, you jerk!
X: An easy victory!
X: England's crisis has been averted, and another Saber who isn't me has disappeared.
Mash: Um, perhaps you've met your opponent before somewhere...
X: Nope! Definitely not! Never seen 'em! DEFINITELY not a member of my family!
Dr. Roman: W-What is going on?
Fou: Fooou...
Saber Slayer, Chapter Battle
X: Ages have passed since the last match, and I've Caliburn'd down countless Sabers.
X: At last, the time has come!
Mash: The time has come, huh...
Fujimaru 1: Mash?
Mash: I-I'm fine, Senpai!
I'm just a little tired...
Fujimaru 2: Have you stopped caring?
Mash: N-No, definitely not, Senpai!
I'm just a little tired...
Dr. Roman: I'm not sure why, but I think Mash is starting to feel a little under the weather.
Fou: Foouu...
Announcer: Competitors for the next match, enter! On the east side, a competitor from the Far East...
Announcer: ...defeating countless Sabers with overwhelming power, it's Mysterious Heroine X... AKA
Announcer: MYSTERIOUS HEROINE X!
Mash: I'm telling you, that's redundant.
Announcer: And on the west side, from Rome...comes a lady who's taken time away from running the country!
Announcer: We the people have been waiting for you! The Emperor of Rose, blooming in Eternal Rome!
Announcer: HER MAJESTY NERO CLAUDIUS!
Nero: I thank you all for coming! I am the Fifth Emperor of the great Roman Empire...
Nero: Nero Claudius!
Mash: N-Nero's really popular, huh?
Dr. Roman: Well, this is her home...
X: Tch... If this was held in Britain, I know for a fact I'd be getting more cheers!
Nero: Umu, umu! An emperor must live up to the expectations of the people! Now how about a pre-match song!?
X: Your days of wickedness are at an end, tyrant Nero... Or should I say...
X: RED SABER!
Nero: What!? Y-You're...
X: Heh... Don't tell me you've forgotten this face. You're finished at last, Red Saber.
X: Sabers are supposed to be BLUE, you hear me? Black and white are not to be allowed either.
X: Well, personally I didn't mind that color lineup, but red is OUT! NO MORE RED!
Dr. Roman: Oh, she didn't mind it, huh?
X: I never gave permission for Sabers to be split into blue and red, anyway!
X: Then you come along, posing as this heinous, super-popular Emperor everyone loves...
X: I'm THROUGH letting you get away with your bluffing!
Nero: Y-You...
X: It's too late to beg for your life...
Nero: By the way, who are you?
X: DIIIEEEEE!
--BATTLE--:
Nero: Tch, I don't know who you are, but you're good! E-Even I am surprised at how good you are, but I'll act tough anyway!
X: Heh... I truly am the strongest Saber. If you're willing to apologize and throw me a feast...
X: I just might forgive you.
Nero: But I cannot lose! Everyone! Give me your power to protect Rome from this invader!
X: Historically, you're the invader!
--BATTLE--:
Nero: I-I can't believe you won... Such obsession, and such bizarre, inexplicable power...
Nero: Gasp! I remember you! How could I have forgotten?
X: You finally remembered? But it's too late n–
Nero: You're Jeanne! You're Jeanne d'Arc, the girl with the amazing, voluptuous breasts!
X: THAT'S-DEFAMATION-CALIBUR!
X: I did it, Master! I defeated another Saber!
Fujimaru 1: Huh? No, um... Yeah.
Fujimaru 2: K-Keep it up.
X: Right! Leave it to me! I will beat all the other Sabers!
Mash: S-Senpai... Shouldn't you stop her soon?
Dr. Roman: How long are we going to be doing this?
Fou: Foou...
Saber Slayer, Chapter Awaken
Announcer: It's time for the much anticipated final round! The last battle to decide who the Saber of Sabers will be!
Announcer: It'll be held here, in the northern lands of Britain, in this mysterious castle with a long, storied history!
Mash: It's storied but mysterious, huh...
Fujimaru 1: So we moved locations.
X: It makes sense to hold the last battle in Britain, a sacred place for Sabers.
Fujimaru 2: It's good that it has a history.
Mash: Now Senpai's stopped caring too...
Announcer: Now... ENTER THE ARENA! At last it's time!
Announcer: A Saber whose affiliation, age, blood-type, and birthday, are all a mystery! Mysterious Heroine X, AKA...
Announcer: MYSTERIOUS HEROINE XXXXXXXXX!
Mash: Again with the redundancy... Oh, forget it.
Dr. Roman: Mash is completely done with this, huh?
Fou: Fou, fooou.
Announcer: And sitting on her throne is the legendary, ultimate blue Saber...
Announcer: ABSOLUTE MONARCH ALTRIAAAAAAA!
Altria: Um, excuse me... No one actually told me why I'm here. What is this, exactly?
X: At last the day has come... She and I are two sides of a coin... Light and shadow...
X: But I cannot become the true Saber, unless I can overcome her!
Fujimaru 1: No, you're both the same Saber, so... Huh?
Mash: Senpai... Let's just not think about it too hard... My head is really starting to hurt.
Fujimaru 2: Let's go, Blue Sab I mean, Mysterious Heroine X!
Mash: Senpai... W-Well, if this is the last fight, I think I can get through this...
X: I am the greatest, strongest, and ultimate Saber... Mysterious Heroine X!
X: I'm worried about parallel worlds and causality and stuff causing a space-time collapse, but here I go!
Altria: Ugh!? Why do I feel like I'm staring at my own dark side?
Altria: I can't let this Saber out into the world... I don't know why, but for my own sake as well as others!
X: Now let us battle for the title of true Saber!
--BATTLE--:
Altria: W-What a dark aura... What is it that drives you?
X: You wouldn't understand... The terror of having more faces like you showing up!
Dr. Roman: No, I think she totally understands...
Altria: I have this feeling that if I don't put an end to you, my reputation will be in danger!
Altria: Stars, lend your power to my holy sword! The power to beat that bad, weird me!
X: My Holy Sword, destroy all Sabers! This is a battle I cannot lose!
Mash: T-This is completely out of control!
--BATTLE--:
Altria: I-Impossible... I have the home field advantage... I even have max bonus for being famous...(Ka-Thud)
X: ...I-I won! I won, Master! At last, at last I'm...
X: THE SABER OF SABERS!
Fujimaru 1: Congrats, Sab– I mean Heroine X!
X: Thank you, Master! Now I don't have to sob into my pillow at night in fear of unknown Sabers anymore!
Fujimaru 2: You say something too, Mash.
Mash: Huh? M-Me?
Mash: Congratulations, Alt– I mean Mysterious Heroine X!
X: At last, all Sabers have been destroyed! As the ultimate Saber, I can advance on wonderfully and invincibly...
X: ...through a Holy Grail War just for Sabers... The true Holy Grail War begins!
Lots of Sabers: Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations!
X: Thank you, everyone! Thank you, everyone!
X: I have surpassed all Sabers to become the ultimate Saber. I am now...
X: THE SABER OF SABERS!
???: ...er, ...ber... Wait, I mean Mysterious Heroine X!
X: By the way, I don't think you noticed, but I'm actually King Ar– Huh!?
Mash: We're having udon noodles for dinner. It's time to get up.
X: T-This... This can't be...
Fujimaru 1: Were you asleep?
Fujimaru 2: You don't want udon?
X: The old "it was all a dream" ending? Who does that anymore!?
Fou: FOOOOU!