Orion (Artemis)
Unsweet Honeymoon
Artemis: Hello, Master! Are you here?
Fujimaru 1: Please leave.
Fujimaru 2: I'm not home.
Artemis: How mean! Darling, this Master is neglecting his duties.
Artemis: ...Darling?
Mash: Um, please don't stare at me like that.
Fou: Fuukaaaa!
Orion: It's fine, it's all right, it's not like it'll hurt you.
Artemis: ...Hmph!
Mash: You (Orion) are in trouble, aren't you?
Orion: That's right. I'm in trouble. Physically.
Fujimaru 1: Please leave.
Fujimaru 2: I just remembered something, gotta go.
Artemis: Darling, This person is so heartless.
Artemis: Just because Mash is here is no excuse!
Mash: ???
Orion: ...Just tell them what you want already.
Artemis: Okay! Um, we want to go to France!
Fujimaru 1: Why?
Fujimaru 2: For what reason?
Artemis: Our honeymoon!
Fujimaru 1: Please leave!
Mash: We're here...
Artemis: Wow, so this is France! It's wonderful! The air's so different than Greece!
Orion: Sorry, she's being so selfish...
Artemis: Let's get this honeymoon started! First, the Arc de Triomphe!
Mash: The Arc de Triomphe was built in 1806, so it doesn't exist yet...
Artemis: How about the Eiffel Tower?
Mash: That's 1887. If you're willing to wait another 450 years or so...
Artemis: Aww! No way!
Orion: Right, right, are you done? Let's just wander around a bit and go home.
Mash: I really don't feel like going on a tourist trip...
Artemis: Sigh... I guess we'll have to see the towns or something.
Artemis: But it's probably boring without the Arc de Triomphe or Eiffel Tower... Let's go, but don't expect too much.
Artemis: Aww, it really is boring. The only things different are the buildings and clothes.
Artemis: There's people, there's dogs...
Artemis: And there's monsters...
Mash: ...Why are there monsters here? Oh, forget it. Let's just fight them! Help me out!
Artemis: What? I don't wanna!
Orion: Just do it!
Artemis: Okaay. It can't be helped, let's kill them!
--BATTLE--:
Mash: Whew. I didn't expect to see monsters...
Artemis: What are they doing here? This world was repaired, right?
Mash: Something might be happening. We have to look into it.
Fujimaru 1: Let's do that.
Fujimaru 2: Agreed.
Artemis: Huh? But our honeymoon...
Orion: Right, right. Well, the honeymoon's delayed.
Artemis: Noooo...
Orion: ...
Artemis: ...
Orion: Oh, fine! Fine! Listen, Artemis.
Orion: "This is our honeymoon." We're fighting monsters on our honeymoon.
Orion: We'll sightsee and beat bad guys. Good times all around.
Artemis: Orion...
Orion: Sounds fun, right? Sounds great, right? I know it sounds totally fun to me!
Artemis: ...Yeah, you're right! Darling, I love you!
Orion: Your love is way too clingy. No thanks.
Artemis: That's so mean!
Mash: ...Master, do those two like each other, or not?
Fujimaru 1: What do you think?
Mash: ...I'm not sure.
Fujimaru 2: They're lovey-dovey.
Mash: I-I see.
Mash: Love is... Very deep.
Artemis: Where are we?
Mash: An abandoned military camp, I think. There shouldn't be anything interesting here.
Orion: Yeah, the only interesting things would be... You see all those bags in the corner?
Mash: Yes, I do...
Orion: Body bags, right?
Mash: They are.
Orion: ...They're moving around.
Artemis: Aah! That's scary! Orion, protect me!
Orion: It's the other way around, dummy! I need you to protect me!
Mash: So this time it's the living dead, huh? Artemis, let's fight!
Artemis: Okay! Orion needs my help, which powers me up! Let's go!
--BATTLE--:
Orion: ...Whew. That was hard work.
Fujimaru 1: You did nothing.
Fujimaru 2: You did something?
Orion: Master, don't say that. It's depressing... It makes me really sad...
Artemis: Sad Orion is so cute! Mmmmmmm!
Orion: You'll crush me! You're crushing me! And I'm not cute, I'm cool!
Artemis: Come on, let's go somewhere else. This time, I'd like someplace that doesn't smell like blood!
Mash: O-Okay, we'll go somewhere else.
Artemis: ...This place reeks of blood!
Mash: I'm sorry. But this castle should have been purified long ago–
Artemis: Aww, my honeymoon... Our trip as newlyweds...
Orion: Don't worry, as long as we defeat whatever's lurking here, I'm sure the smell will be gone.
Artemis: Hmph... I'm really irritated now! Whoever runs into me should just blame their fate!
Artemis: Let's go, Orion, Master!
--BATTLE--:
Artemis: Okay, we beat them!
Orion: Sigh, oh brother... I'm tired (mentally, even though I did nothing)...
Mash: To think Lamias nested up in the castle...
Artemis: My honeymoon is ruined...
Orion: ...Hmm? Hey, Artemis.
Artemis: What is it, Darling?
Orion: Here.
Artemis: Huh? This is...a ring?
Orion: The Lamia had it... Well, you want a ring for your honeymoon, right?
Artemis: Oh...
Orion: Listen, I know a ring I took off a Lamia isn't going to make you that happy–
Artemis: No, I'll treasure it! I'll treasure it forever! Yay! Hooray!
Orion: Sigh. Oh, brother...
Orion: Master, Mash. Sorry for the trouble.
Mash: Not at all. ...I see. Their love is very complex.
Mash: But it's kind of nice to watch.
Orion: I-It's not like that, okay!? This is... um... it's not like that!
Fujimaru 1: No one likes a male tsundere.
Orion: It's not like that, I said– Argh, whatever! Mash, just let me snuggle between your breasts!
Mash: Please stop using me as a way to get out of trouble!
Artemis: ...What are you doing, Darling? You idiot! Idiot! IDIOT!
A Certain Love Song
Artemis: Hey, Master!
Fujimaru 1: I'm not here, leave!
Fujimaru 2: I'm not home!
Mash: Good answer, Senpai. But the door's already open so that won't work.
Orion: What's up, guys? We've come to cause more trouble.
Mash: Oh, so trouble is guaranteed...
Artemis: I want to go to America! Take me there!
Fujimaru 1: No way!
Fujimaru 2: You can't!
Mash: ...And here we are in America.
Artemis: Yay! Broadway! Let's go to Broadway, Darling!
Orion: Um... Broadway is...
Fujimaru 1: Not here.
Mash: If you can wait another century or so...
Artemis: Aww, I'm disappointed! But that's okay, anywhere's fun as long as I'm with Darling!
Artemis: Come on, let's go!
Orion: Sorry, can you come with us for a while?
Mash: ...Fine. Let's go.
Artemis: Wow, it's a town! How wonderful! It feels just like a Western!
Artemis: ...Are there cowboys?
Mash: I don't think there are any in this era... Wait a minute. Why is there no one here?
Mash: That cry... Is that... A wyvern?
Artemis: Oh, wonderful! A dragon!
Artemis: ...Wait, I'm sick of dragons. We fought a bunch of them at sea.
Artemis: I don't know who it is, but they suck at picking enemies.
Mash: Um, let's fight them!
Orion: Right, right. Let's do it!
--BATTLE--:
Mash: I don't see any Celtic warriors... I guess this wasn't their doing.
Artemis: It's strange, huh?
Orion: ...
Fujimaru 1: What's wrong?
Fujimaru 2: Something bothering you?
Orion: No, sorry. It's nothing.
Orion: I was just... Yeah, I was just thinking which I like better, Mash's legs or breasts.
Artemis: –Darling?
Orion: No, um, well, wai—
Mash: Aww, Orion is such a silly person.
Mash: ...He is a person, right?
Orion: I'm a person, okay!? This is just a temporary form, okay!?
Artemis: Sigh. Hey, Orion?
Orion: Huh? What is it?
Artemis: All these empty plains are boring me! We came all the way to America!
Orion: Sigh, there's nothing we can do.
Orion: Then let me tell you this funny story about how I met this guy's wife when she was wearing nothing but–
Artemis: ...That's not a funny story, is it?
Orion: It's not, is... BWRAGH!
Artemis: Like, sheesh! HMPH!
Mash: She just said “Hmph!”
Fou: Fou...
Artemis: ...Hmm? Not again! First wyverns, now what!?
Artemis: Golems! Golems, I see! Fine, fine! I'll do it!
Orion: Oww...
--BATTLE--:
Artemis: Hmph! Where are all these monsters coming from?
Fujimaru 1: ...
Mash: Master?
Orion: Master!
Orion: ...Sorry, but don't say anything. It's better if I tell her.
Mash: ?
Artemis: Huh? What? Are you keeping secrets? Come on, you have to tell me, too!
Orion: ...It's not a secret, but, um, well, you see...
Orion: ...Basically, don't you think that all these monsters who show up in this world are our fault?
Artemis: –Huh?
Orion: I mean, I'm nothing special, but you're supposedly a god, right?
Orion: Even if not in your Divine Form, you still have some influence on this world.
Orion: Distorting it, opening holes and what have you...
Orion: So it's kind of obvious that weird things are gonna pour out from there–
Artemis: ...So what? I'm not allowed to go to other worlds?
Artemis: ...Only where a Holy Grail War is being fought?
Orion: Well, I guess... that's how things look.
Artemis: ... ...
Artemis: WAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! No, no, no, NO, NOOOO!
Orion: Sigh, what do I do now...
Artemis: I mean, I thought we could finally, finally go outdoors on a date!
Artemis: Without having to sneak behind Big Brother's back!
Artemis: I wanted to hold hands, and hug, and make out and stuff!
Artemis: WAAAAHHHH!
Orion: Sigh...
Mash: ...W-What do we do, Master? She's bawling. She's totally bawling.
Fujimaru 1: Just leave it to Orion.
Orion: Thanks, Master. Could you help with something else, too?
Fujimaru 1: Sure.
Artemis: What?
Orion: Does it really matter?
Artemis: Does what...matter?
Orion: Does it matter if there are enemies? It doesn't mean you and I can't go out.
Artemis: Huh?
Orion: I mean, you're one of the gods of Olympus! Does a god really care if she causes others trouble!?
Artemis: B-But I can't do that!
Orion: You retaliated a hundredfold to those that peeked on you when you were taking a bath, didn't you?
Artemis: (Sob) You've got me there! But I was embarrassed!
Orion: Then it doesn't matter! What kind of god cares what happens to other people?
Artemis: But–
Orion: One more thing! ...Throw those stupid worries that I'm going to hate you into Hades or something!
Orion: It's too late! It's way too late for me to hate you for stuff like that now, dummy!
Artemis: (Sob...)
Orion: ...
Mash: A... A dragon! It's directly above us, and descending!
Orion: Artemis, you ready?
Artemis: Yeah... Yeah! That's right! I'm a god! I'm super-duper important!
Artemis: So I'm allowed to cause a little bit of trouble, right? 'Cause I'm a god!
Artemis: All right! Let's do this! Orion, get on my head like always!
Orion: Sure, sure, let's win this!
Artemis: Yeah!
--BATTLE--:
Artemis: Easy win!
Artemis: Whew, I worked up a sweat!
Orion: (Pant, pant) ...I say this all the time, but fighting as a plush toy is rough...
Artemis: Oh, hey! Hey! Master!
Artemis: Um, I might cause a lot of problems for you in the future, but–
Artemis: Thanks for having me with you!
Fujimaru 1: I know.
Fujimaru 2: I'm ready for it.
Artemis: Thanks! Teeheehee! I like you almost as much as Orion!
Artemis: If there's a god you like, let me know, okay? I'll introduce you!
Golden Anniversary!
???: Master! Master! Please hide me, Master!!
Fujimaru 1: Not here now, leave a message.
???: Waaah! Your rejection hurts my poor little heart! I beg of you, Master!!!
Orion: A murderer! I'm being chased by a bloodthirsty killer! It's a murderer in a red and green striped sweater and a hockey mask!
Fujimaru 2: Orion, what's going on!?
Orion: Just open up! We'll talk then!
Orion: ...
Orion: Don't tell me you're not going to open up!? You devil! Oni! Artemis!!!
???: Daaarling♪
Orion: Oh, Lady Artemis has made her appearance! Sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Orion: I understand!
Orion: If this is about pretending to be Nursery Rhyme's partner to trick the female staff of Chaldea into fawning over me...
Orion: I regret my actions from the bottom of my heart!
Artemis: ...You were doing that?
Orion: Ah, so you didn't know...then forge–gyaaah!!! Please! Please don't twist me like that! I don't bend that way!
Fujimaru 1: I didn't see anything...
Fujimaru 2: I'm going to bed...
Artemis: Yoo-hoo, Master! How are you?
Fujimaru 1: Um... Who's that next to you?
Artemis: Oh this? It used to be Orion. Now it's a rag.
Artemis: You can use it to clean the floors!
Orion: Cut it out!
Orion: I thought I was going to die! Actually, I very nearly DID die!
Artemis: Oh, you're fine. I held back.
Fujimaru 2: I'm good.
Artemis: Yep, yep. Being good is a wonderful thing☆
Artemis: Does darling appreciate his health now, too?
Orion: Yes! Absolutely, yes! Especially with you! Hooray for health! Not hurting is wonderful!
Fujimaru 1: So, what's all this, then?
Orion: ...What is it?
Artemis: Oh, right! So I've been wanting to ask Master...
Fujimaru 1: Golden...
Orion: Wedding...
Mash: Anniversary?
Fou: Foufoufoufoufou.
Mash: Yes, yes, Fou. Food time? Here you go.
Artemis: Mash, that was a sad response. As a goddess, that absolutely infuriates me!!!
Mash: M-my apologies. I was just surprised that it was a golden anniversary...
Fujimaru 1: Doesn't a golden anniversary mean...
Mash: Yes, it is a celebration for a couple who's been married for fifty years.
Mash: The celebration is said to have started in the year 1860 in Germany, and the custom spread throughout Europe.
Orion: Oh, I see. It must have been a big deal if a couple was together for 50 years in the nineteenth century.
Orion: No wonder people want to celebrate.
Artemis: Isn't it wonderful? I admire that kind of celebration...
Mash: The custom is to give gifts of gold, or anything made in pairs.
Orion: ...So what's this golden thing have to do with anything?
Mash: Yes, um... Artemis, your marriage was quite recent...
Orion: I'M STILL SINGLE!
Artemis: How cruel! But we did get married! Married! M-A-R-R-I-E-D!
Artemis: We even went on a honeymoon, and you even gave me a ring!!!
Mash: She's having a tantrum...
Mash: But Artemis is correct. You gave her a ring, and you went on a honeymoon.
Orion: Heh. Miss Mash. You've forgotten one critical thing: I'm a nice guy who goes around freely like a wandering cloud in the sky.
Orion: From one journey to another, from port to port... I start from Greece and go all around the world.
Fujimaru 1: So you want to travel around the world...
Fujimaru 2: To do a lot of Celtic-ing with a bunch of women.
Orion: DAMN RIGHT!
Orion: (Gasp!) Oh crap! I didn't mean to say that out loud!
Artemis: Teehee. Is that so, Orion? Then I shall tear this wandering cloud to shreds!
Orion: NOOOOOO!
Orion: I think this golden anniversary is a GREAT idea! Now that I think of it, we're Heroic Spirits...
Orion: ...and Heroic Spirits essentially have no concept of time.
Orion: I feel like we've been together for fifty years already.
Artemis: You're absolutely right, darling! For fifty years, our love as a married couple has grown stronger!
Fujimaru 1: He's been brainwashed...
Mash: What makes this sad is that...though it could be harmful, this shouldn't be much of a hindrance to us if we don't do anything...
Artemis: Now come, let's do a golden anniversary! Um, what do we do on a golden anniversary?
Artemis: Shall we gather a bunch of humans with the golden touch, like King Midas?
Fujimaru 1: Stop.
Fujimaru 2: Please no.
Artemis: Oh, you're right! A golden statue is nothing special these days! ...If that's the case, it has to be...
Artemis: A Rayshift trip to travel around the world!
Fujimaru 1: (Mash...)
Mash: (Yes, I have a very bad feeling about this. They are definitely going to get Senpai in all kinds of trouble...)
Mash: (Let's just slowly back out of the room so they don't notice.)
Fou: Fou!!!
Artemis: !
Orion: !
Artemis: Teehee, you're not getting away! Come, Master!
Artemis: You're going to help make sure our golden anniversary goes beautifully!
Mash: Fou...
Fou: Fou?
Mash: Rayshift successful. We have safely arrived at the French seaside.
Mash: Good work, Master.
Fou: Fou!
Artemis: Ahhh, what a wonderful breeze! The ocean is outside my jurisdiction but that just makes it all the more exciting.
Artemis: We're in an era where I don't have to fight for territory. So let's have a nice, peaceful talk about our married life!
Fujimaru 1: Huh?
Fujimaru 2: Where's Orion?
Artemis: ...Darling!?
Orion: Hahahaha! Successfully escaped!
Orion: I mean, I know we'll eventually go back to Chaldea, so I am definitely going to get punished...
Orion: But to hell with that! My name's Orion, the famed hunter of love!!!
Orion: I'm a hero with a real lust for life, if you know what I'm saying! Because when I'm around, it's always bear season, eyy!
???: ～♪
Orion: Whoa! I spy a real sweet hottie over there!
Orion: I only see the back of her head, but it's a black-haired beauty! Prim and proper! Looks like I hit the jackpot!
Orion: Woohoo! I'm gonna snuggle her by pretending to be a cute creature!
Orion: My body is a cute teddy bear! No one can resist a cute stuffed bear!
Orion: Hewwo, pwetty wady, I'm Owion!
???: ...!
???: What the...!?
Artemis: Ah!
Fujimaru 1: What's wrong?
Artemis: My goddess senses are tingling! I sense danger!
Artemis: Darling... My darling's...skull...is getting caved in...
Fujimaru 1: Let's go save him!
Artemis: Right! Hold on, my darling! We're coming to rescue you!
Artemis: And then afterwards, if you can explain to me IN DETAIL why you fled, that would be appreciated!
Mash: (Artemis may be worried about Orion, but she is still REALLY angry...)
Fujimaru 2: Huh. Well, he'll be missed.
Artemis: He's not dead yet!!!
Artemis: Let's go, Master! Let's go and save my darling!
Artemis: There will be many mouths-to-mouths! Much smooching!
Mash: I hate to break this to you, but mouth-to-mouth won't be effective on a caved-in skull!
Artemis: Ummm, according to my goddess senses, he should be around here...
Artemis: There!
Orion: Kyuuu...kyuu...kyu...
Fujimaru 1: Orion...
Fujimaru 2: Has turned into a creature that's only cute...
Artemis: Come to your senses, Darling! I shall immediately do mouth-to-mouth on you!
Artemis: Hng!!! (Squeeze)
Orion: Gagck!? ...!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?
Mash: S-S-S-S-S-S-Senpai! Orion's face is turning into something unbelievable! Even though he's only a bear! Even though he's only a plushie...!
Fujimaru 1: (Punch Orion with all my might.)
Orion: Ahhh... Aaaaaagck!?
Fujimaru 2: (Pull Artemis away with all my might.)
Artemis: Kyaaah!? Master, touching someone else's wife is fiendish!!!
Artemis: And doing so in front of Mash...!
Mash: No, it's fine! I know this is all a misunderstanding, so I'm not mad!
Orion: I thought I was gonna die. Actually, I did die. TWICE! Once from my caved-in skull, and again from getting suffocated!
Mash: I'm glad you–
Orion: Master. Have you ever wondered why you're alive?
Fujimaru 1: A few times...
Orion: We both...have it tough...
Martha: My apologies... Something like a tiny wild animal jumped on me, so I punched it to smithereens without thinking...
Mash: Martha...
Martha: Yes, I know! I know what you are thinking! But I hope you understand my predicament as well!
Martha: As you know, in this getup, I become more aggressive than usual.
Martha: So...I couldn't help it... I'm sorry! I regret my actions! So much so, I will double my praying time!
Orion: This woman's amazing. That was the first time I ever felt my insides leaking out.
Artemis: His first time... How dare she be my darling's first!!
Artemis: This is unforgivable! You're supposed to be a saint... Have you no shame!?
Artemis: The only person who can hurt my darling is me!
Orion: Oh boy. Aren't you just full of cheerful bloodlust.
Fujimaru 1: And she's your wife.
Orion: What. A. Let. Down.
Martha: Uh, um... I'm not sure if I can say this, given that I was the one who directly inflicted this holy punishment...
Martha: Actually, I am not foolish enough to get involved in lovers' quarrels or domestic disputes...
Martha: I'm not like that, but...Artemis! Your love is a bit too aggressive!
Martha: First of all, love should be tender, even when you're hurting your beloved.
Martha: No matter how fiendish, devilish, demonic, or even...um, ursine your partner is—
Martha: I can say with certainty that unrequited love is no good!
Artemis: It's not unrequited! We are very much in love!
Orion: I'm actually a little hurt to be called fiendish, devilish, and demonic.
Martha: No. If it truly was a mutual love, no married man would so casually hit on another woman.
Martha: Even if Orion is guilty, I can see that Artemis also has need for improvement and reform.
Martha: I do not intend to criticize the ways of the Greeks, but I am called the patron saint of wives!
Martha: Artemis and Orion! I shall correct your twisted, unrequited love with my holy fists!
Fujimaru 1: This is going to hurt...
Fujimaru 2: Head trauma, here I come...
Martha: Well, yes, I'm afraid that's the plan! Don't worry. I will make sure not to hurt you much, Fujimaru!
--BATTLE--:
Artemis: Ungh... She's tough! Darling, were you holding back!?
Orion: 'Course not! I always take battle seriously!
Martha: Mnnngh...as obsessive and unhealthy as it is, love is still love...I suppose.
Martha: And based on Orion's behavior, it doesn't seem like it is completely unrequited love...
Artemis: That's right! Our love is mutual... It is!
Mash: Mutual love... To think of others, and love others.
Mash: It doesn't appear that way... No, but maybe...those two seem to have some bizarre sort of love of their own...
Mash: ...Even if they do not follow the same path, or if it's unrequited, as long as they respect one another, that may be fine...
Martha: ...Well, there are indeed very dangerous unrequited affections in this world...
Mash: And yet... I suppose...
Martha: ...Either way, I seem to have jumped to conclusions. One cannot say that just understanding each other can be called love.
Martha: I'm sorry, Artemis. And Bearion.
Martha: No matter what form it takes, love is unchanging, and it is one of the primal emotions. One should love greatly, and so find great happiness.
Artemis: Our beliefs may differ, but love is the same all around! Orion, let's love each other to the fullest!
Mash: ...Oh?
Artemis: Huh? I thought my head felt light. Darling's gone.
Fujimaru 1: He sneaked away a minute ago.
Artemis: ...
Artemis: Daaarrrliiing!!!
--ARROW--:
Orion: Fwahahahahaha!
Orion: I don't know how or where I escaped to, but looks like I ended up in a different world!
Orion: What should I do? It'll be scary if I get found now. Maybe I should hide out here for a couple of days until things cool down.
???: Oh? Oh my, oh my. A guest. It's a guest! And it's a bear!
???: Oh, sir! Are you the one she's been waiting for?
Orion: Not sure what you're talking about, but sure!
???: I see. Then we need to have a wedding!
Orion: Uh, actually, wrong person! I mean, wrong bear!
???: It's a wedding! The entire country is going to party! The princess will surely be pleased!
???: Her prince has come back!
Orion: Time to be a sneaky bear...
???: No! You can't run away! (Grab)
Orion: Gyaaah! Let go! You got the wrong bear!
Orion: Nothing good can come of me posing as a prince in a fairytale place like this!
???: Don't be so naughty!
???: A bad prince like you...needs to turn into a ■■■!
???: This curse won't break until the princess kisses you!
Orion: ...What the heck!?
Artemis: Here! I've got darling's scent!
Fujimaru 1: ...I'm exhausted.
Mash: You really are getting dragged around the world.
Mash: Where could Orion have fled to so quickly?
Fujimaru 2: You mean...the scent of your prey?
Mash: Master's burn doesn't have the usual sting... Maybe because jet lag has [♂ him /♀️ her} worn out?
Artemis: What a cute town...
Artemis: After our golden anniversary celebration, I would love to live in a home like this!
Artemis: Master, since you saved the world, I want you to find a nice property for me!
Artemis: And I want you to live nearby, so we can be neighbors!
Artemis: You know, it's important to have good neighbors!
Mash: Good neighbors...
Artemis: Now all I need is my darling...
???: Oh? Oh my, oh my. There are so many visitors today!
???: I'm so happy. Adults and children both are welcome in the Land of Sweets!
???: Why? Because I can just turn the adults into children, and then it's fine!
Mash: Nursery Rhyme...!
Artemis: Oh my, you are a cutie. But... I'm sorry, my heart belongs only to my darling!
Artemis: But that strange fate of yours, make sure you treasure it, okay?
Artemis: Anyway, have you seen my darling?
Nursery Rhyme: Darling...?
Fujimaru 1: The talking stuffed bear.
Nursery Rhyme: Oh no... You can't! That prince bear is the princess's!
Artemis: ...What did you just say?
Nursery Rhyme: The prince has finally come home to his sweet princess!
Nursery Rhyme: And we're going to hold a grand wedding party to celebrate! You can't steal someone's true love in a fairytale!
Artemis: ...Oh? Uh-huuuh...
Artemis: Hey Master. Sounds like my darling is at the princess's place.
Artemis: How strange. If he's not here, where could he be?
Mash: M-Master...this is bad! This is very bad!
Mash: I'm afraid the Land of Sweets is going to be set on fire, melting the chocolates and candies... Even the cakes will get charred!
Fujimaru 1: Calm down!
Artemis: It's fine. I am calm. But I will never forgive Orion.
Artemis: A grand party with a princess... This isn't an affair... This is the real deal!
Artemis: This was supposed to be a happy golden anniversary celebration...but to learn that he's in another serious relationship...! Orion, you dummy!
Nursery Rhyme: Protect the Land of Sweets, everyone!
Mash: I'm not sure if they're enemies...but let's ready for battle, Master!
--BATTLE--:
Nursery Rhyme: Kyuuu. I'm dizzy...
Mash: Poor Nursery Rhyme is down!
Artemis: I will not allow my darling to get married! I'll capture that bear and take him to file divorce papers right away!
Artemis: Oh, and Master, use your authority to annul the marriage! That way, he won't be a divorcé!
Artemis: Darling, where are you!?
Brynhild: Um... Excuse me... Are you perhaps looking for a bear?
Mash: Brynhild!?
Artemis: Are you the homewrecker!?
Brynhild: Please, no... It is not what you think...
Brynhild: ...I wanted to return him to you.
Artemis: ...Come again?
Artemis: Darling! No... Look at you...!
Mash: (I thought I saw a similar-looking chocolate during last year's Valentine's Day...)
Fujimaru 1: He's mouthing something...
Fujimaru 2: “Help...”
Brynhild: Um... I was searching for Sigurd...
Brynhild: Nursery brought this bear thinking he was Sigurd...
Brynhild: Even when I said he wasn't, she wouldn't listen. She said, “He may be a chocolate bear right now, but he'll turn into Sigurd when the curse is lifted.”
Brynhild: And so I was a little flustered.
Fujimaru 1: Is there a way to lift the chocolate curse?
Brynhild: Yes... According to Nursery...
Nursery Rhyme: You KISS him!!!
Fujimaru 1: You what, now?
Mash: What!?
Artemis: Kiss!?
Nursery Rhyme: Yes, that's right. Kissing him will lift the chocolate curse!
Nursery Rhyme: His bear curse may also get lifted, but I'm not sure, since that's not my specialty!
Mash: I see...
Mash: So that's why Brynhild was flustered... She was afraid that whoever could lift the curse wouldn't show up if she left.
Brynhild: Yes, I was at a loss.
Brynhild: This bear is not Sigurd, but there is no doubt he is a hero.
Brynhild: No matter what form he'd taken, as a former Valkyrie, I didn't feel right abandoning him...
Artemis: ...
Artemis: Hey Master, why do you think darling tries to escape?
Artemis: Weddings, golden anniversary celebrations... They don't really matter to me... Well, I might not go that far.
Artemis: But as long as my darling just stays with me... As long as he and I can live together forever, for eternity...
Artemis: That's all I really need.
Fujimaru 1: He's scared he'll start to hate you.
Artemis: Scared...that he'll hate me?
Brynhild: ...That may be correct.
Brynhild: No matter how intimate a man and woman might be, if they are together for long enough, they may end up killing each other.
Brynhild: That is not because of pure hatred, but hatred that stems from love.
Brynhild: The more one loves, the stronger their wish not to detest or be detested becomes.
Brynhild: Human emotion is not something that is constant... But it shines all the brighter for it.
Fujimaru 2: He loves, therefore he wants to be pursued.
Nursery Rhyme: I know! I know!
Nursery Rhyme: The prince falls for Cinderella when she flees!
Nursery Rhyme: That bear flees from you because he wants you to always feel excited!
Nursery Rhyme: Because eternity is too boring!
Nursery Rhyme: When you're super bored, you might start hating the person you're with!
Nursery Rhyme: That's why you flee! The chase keeps you interested in the other person!
Artemis: ...I see. So that's how human emotions work.
Artemis: As a Divine Spirit, that kind of thinking is incomprehensible to me. I can't imagine eternity being...uncertain...
Brynhild: ...True, it may not be something you can comprehend. I really only understand it in theory.
Artemis: Eternity is boring... So you say.
Artemis: Aw, my darling is impossible! He wants me to keep loving him by making me so anxious!
Artemis: Fine. If that's what he wants, I'll chase after him for eternity!
Artemis: As long as my heart swells from the occasional, whimsical kindness from him, I will go absolutely crazy for my darling!
Artemis: Yes, yes, my Maiden Circuits are in overdrive! Now, my darling! I shall lift your dreadful chocolate curse!
Orion: Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Artemis: Good morning, my darling!
Orion: Eh? Huh? I thought I was chocolate...
Orion: Ack! Artemis!? I-I'm sorry I ran away! It was just a spur of the moment thing! I swear!
Artemis: ...Yep! It's fine, my darling. I forgive you!
Orion: Eh, seriously!?
Orion: Normally this kind of offense would result in you reducing me to my constituent atoms!
Orion: Wait, did I end up in a parallel world? Is this for real? Oh, no, I'm in a world that's gonna get pruned, aren't I!?
Orion: Oh, but if it's a parallel world...
Artemis: Come, my darling. Let's continue our golden anniversary celebration!
Artemis: Where shall we go next? It is a golden anniversary, so maybe the Temple of the Golden Pavilion in Japan?
Artemis: Or perhaps the Golden Gate Bridge?
Artemis: Anywhere is fine. As long as I'm with my darling, it will be wonderful!
Orion: Why hello there, delicate-looking girl. I don't see much of your type in Greece.
Orion: How would you like to escape into a love adventure, hmm?
Brynhild: Um... I can't... My lance will become lighter and lighter...
Brynhild: It could even float up and away like a balloon...
Orion: Wha–whoa!?
Artemis: Okay, my darling.
Artemis: Let's go get you set on fire at the Temple of the Golden Pavilion. It's fine, you'll burn well!
Artemis: Or the Golden Gate Bridge is fine too. You can bungee jump without a rope!
Orion: Well, I guess that's one way to go...
Orion: ...What the heck am I making clever commentary for!? Aaand Artemis is just her usual self!
Orion: HEEELLLP MEEE!!!
Mash: ...Master, do you have any closing remarks?
Fujimaru 1: Love takes so many forms!
Brynhild: That wasn't...much of a closing remark...
Fujimaru 2: Love is scary!
Ibaraki-Douji: That's my line.