Orion (Artemis)

Unsweet Honeymoon

Artemis: Hello, Master! Are you here?

Fujimaru 1: Please leave.

Fujimaru 2: I'm not home.

Artemis: How mean! Darling, this Master is neglecting his duties.

Artemis: ...Darling?

Mash: Um, please don't stare at me like that.

Fou: Fuukaaaa!

Orion: It's fine, it's all right, it's not like it'll hurt you.

Artemis: ...Hmph!

Mash: You (Orion) are in trouble, aren't you?

Orion: That's right. I'm in trouble. Physically.

Fujimaru 1: Please leave.

Fujimaru 2: I just remembered something, gotta go.

Artemis: Darling, This person is so heartless.

Artemis: Just because Mash is here is no excuse!

Mash: ???

Orion: ...Just tell them what you want already.

Artemis: Okay! Um, we want to go to France!

Fujimaru 1: Why?

Fujimaru 2: For what reason?

Artemis: Our honeymoon!

Fujimaru 1: Please leave!

Mash: We're here...

Artemis: Wow, so this is France! It's wonderful! The air's so different than Greece!

Orion: Sorry, she's being so selfish...

Artemis: Let's get this honeymoon started! First, the Arc de Triomphe!

Mash: The Arc de Triomphe was built in 1806, so it doesn't exist yet...

Artemis: How about the Eiffel Tower?

Mash: That's 1887. If you're willing to wait another 450 years or so...

Artemis: Aww! No way!

Orion: Right, right, are you done? Let's just wander around a bit and go home.

Mash: I really don't feel like going on a tourist trip...

Artemis: Sigh... I guess we'll have to see the towns or something.

Artemis: But it's probably boring without the Arc de Triomphe or Eiffel Tower... Let's go, but don't expect too much.

Artemis: Aww, it really is boring. The only things different are the buildings and clothes.

Artemis: There's people, there's dogs...

Artemis: And there's monsters...

Mash: ...Why are there monsters here? Oh, forget it. Let's just fight them! Help me out!

Artemis: What? I don't wanna!

Orion: Just do it!

Artemis: Okaay. It can't be helped, let's kill them!


Mash: Whew. I didn't expect to see monsters...

Artemis: What are they doing here? This world was repaired, right?

Mash: Something might be happening. We have to look into it.

Fujimaru 1: Let's do that.

Fujimaru 2: Agreed.

Artemis: Huh? But our honeymoon...

Orion: Right, right. Well, the honeymoon's delayed.

Artemis: Noooo...

Orion: ...

Artemis: ...

Orion: Oh, fine! Fine! Listen, Artemis.

Orion: "This is our honeymoon." We're fighting monsters on our honeymoon.

Orion: We'll sightsee and beat bad guys. Good times all around.

Artemis: Orion...

Orion: Sounds fun, right? Sounds great, right? I know it sounds totally fun to me!

Artemis: ...Yeah, you're right! Darling, I love you!

Orion: Your love is way too clingy. No thanks.

Artemis: That's so mean!

Mash: ...Master, do those two like each other, or not?

Fujimaru 1: What do you think?

Mash: ...I'm not sure.

Fujimaru 2: They're lovey-dovey.

Mash: I-I see.

Mash: Love is... Very deep.

Artemis: Where are we?

Mash: An abandoned military camp, I think. There shouldn't be anything interesting here.

Orion: Yeah, the only interesting things would be... You see all those bags in the corner?

Mash: Yes, I do...

Orion: Body bags, right?

Mash: They are.

Orion: ...They're moving around.

Artemis: Aah! That's scary! Orion, protect me!

Orion: It's the other way around, dummy! I need you to protect me!

Mash: So this time it's the living dead, huh? Artemis, let's fight!

Artemis: Okay! Orion needs my help, which powers me up! Let's go!


Orion: ...Whew. That was hard work.

Fujimaru 1: You did nothing.

Fujimaru 2: You did something?

Orion: Master, don't say that. It's depressing... It makes me really sad...

Artemis: Sad Orion is so cute! Mmmmmmm!

Orion: You'll crush me! You're crushing me! And I'm not cute, I'm cool!

Artemis: Come on, let's go somewhere else. This time, I'd like someplace that doesn't smell like blood!

Mash: O-Okay, we'll go somewhere else.

Artemis: ...This place reeks of blood!

Mash: I'm sorry. But this castle should have been purified long ago–

Artemis: Aww, my honeymoon... Our trip as newlyweds...

Orion: Don't worry, as long as we defeat whatever's lurking here, I'm sure the smell will be gone.

Artemis: Hmph... I'm really irritated now! Whoever runs into me should just blame their fate!

Artemis: Let's go, Orion, Master!


Artemis: Okay, we beat them!

Orion: Sigh, oh brother... I'm tired (mentally, even though I did nothing)...

Mash: To think Lamias nested up in the castle...

Artemis: My honeymoon is ruined...

Orion: ...Hmm? Hey, Artemis.

Artemis: What is it, Darling?

Orion: Here.

Artemis: Huh? This is...a ring?

Orion: The Lamia had it... Well, you want a ring for your honeymoon, right?

Artemis: Oh...

Orion: Listen, I know a ring I took off a Lamia isn't going to make you that happy–

Artemis: No, I'll treasure it! I'll treasure it forever! Yay! Hooray!

Orion: Sigh. Oh, brother...

Orion: Master, Mash. Sorry for the trouble.

Mash: Not at all. ...I see. Their love is very complex.

Mash: But it's kind of nice to watch.

Orion: I-It's not like that, okay!? This is... um... it's not like that!

Fujimaru 1: No one likes a male tsundere.

Orion: It's not like that, I said– Argh, whatever! Mash, just let me snuggle between your breasts!

Mash: Please stop using me as a way to get out of trouble!

Artemis: ...What are you doing, Darling? You idiot! Idiot! IDIOT!

A Certain Love Song

Artemis: Hey, Master!

Fujimaru 1: I'm not here, leave!

Fujimaru 2: I'm not home!

Mash: Good answer, Senpai. But the door's already open so that won't work.

Orion: What's up, guys? We've come to cause more trouble.

Mash: Oh, so trouble is guaranteed...

Artemis: I want to go to America! Take me there!

Fujimaru 1: No way!

Fujimaru 2: You can't!

Mash: ...And here we are in America.

Artemis: Yay! Broadway! Let's go to Broadway, Darling!

Orion: Um... Broadway is...

Fujimaru 1: Not here.

Mash: If you can wait another century or so...

Artemis: Aww, I'm disappointed! But that's okay, anywhere's fun as long as I'm with Darling!

Artemis: Come on, let's go!

Orion: Sorry, can you come with us for a while?

Mash: ...Fine. Let's go.

Artemis: Wow, it's a town! How wonderful! It feels just like a Western!

Artemis: ...Are there cowboys?

Mash: I don't think there are any in this era... Wait a minute. Why is there no one here?

Mash: That cry... Is that... A wyvern?

Artemis: Oh, wonderful! A dragon!

Artemis: ...Wait, I'm sick of dragons. We fought a bunch of them at sea.

Artemis: I don't know who it is, but they suck at picking enemies.

Mash: Um, let's fight them!

Orion: Right, right. Let's do it!


Mash: I don't see any Celtic warriors... I guess this wasn't their doing.

Artemis: It's strange, huh?

Orion: ...

Fujimaru 1: What's wrong?

Fujimaru 2: Something bothering you?

Orion: No, sorry. It's nothing.

Orion: I was just... Yeah, I was just thinking which I like better, Mash's legs or breasts.

Artemis: –Darling?

Orion: No, um, well, wai—

Mash: Aww, Orion is such a silly person.

Mash: ...He is a person, right?

Orion: I'm a person, okay!? This is just a temporary form, okay!?

Artemis: Sigh. Hey, Orion?

Orion: Huh? What is it?

Artemis: All these empty plains are boring me! We came all the way to America!

Orion: Sigh, there's nothing we can do.

Orion: Then let me tell you this funny story about how I met this guy's wife when she was wearing nothing but–

Artemis: ...That's not a funny story, is it?

Orion: It's not, is... BWRAGH!

Artemis: Like, sheesh! HMPH!

Mash: She just said “Hmph!”

Fou: Fou...

Artemis: ...Hmm? Not again! First wyverns, now what!?

Artemis: Golems! Golems, I see! Fine, fine! I'll do it!

Orion: Oww...


Artemis: Hmph! Where are all these monsters coming from?

Fujimaru 1: ...

Mash: Master?

Orion: Master!

Orion: ...Sorry, but don't say anything. It's better if I tell her.

Mash: ?

Artemis: Huh? What? Are you keeping secrets? Come on, you have to tell me, too!

Orion: ...It's not a secret, but, um, well, you see...

Orion: ...Basically, don't you think that all these monsters who show up in this world are our fault?

Artemis: –Huh?

Orion: I mean, I'm nothing special, but you're supposedly a god, right?

Orion: Even if not in your Divine Form, you still have some influence on this world.

Orion: Distorting it, opening holes and what have you...

Orion: So it's kind of obvious that weird things are gonna pour out from there–

Artemis: ...So what? I'm not allowed to go to other worlds?

Artemis: ...Only where a Holy Grail War is being fought?

Orion: Well, I guess... that's how things look.

Artemis: ... ...


Orion: Sigh, what do I do now...

Artemis: I mean, I thought we could finally, finally go outdoors on a date!

Artemis: Without having to sneak behind Big Brother's back!

Artemis: I wanted to hold hands, and hug, and make out and stuff!


Orion: Sigh...

Mash: ...W-What do we do, Master? She's bawling. She's totally bawling.

Fujimaru 1: Just leave it to Orion.

Orion: Thanks, Master. Could you help with something else, too?

Fujimaru 1: Sure.

Artemis: What?

Orion: Does it really matter?

Artemis: Does what...matter?

Orion: Does it matter if there are enemies? It doesn't mean you and I can't go out.

Artemis: Huh?

Orion: I mean, you're one of the gods of Olympus! Does a god really care if she causes others trouble!?

Artemis: B-But I can't do that!

Orion: You retaliated a hundredfold to those that peeked on you when you were taking a bath, didn't you?

Artemis: (Sob) You've got me there! But I was embarrassed!

Orion: Then it doesn't matter! What kind of god cares what happens to other people?

Artemis: But–

Orion: One more thing! ...Throw those stupid worries that I'm going to hate you into Hades or something!

Orion: It's too late! It's way too late for me to hate you for stuff like that now, dummy!

Artemis: (Sob...)

Orion: ...

Mash: A... A dragon! It's directly above us, and descending!

Orion: Artemis, you ready?

Artemis: Yeah... Yeah! That's right! I'm a god! I'm super-duper important!

Artemis: So I'm allowed to cause a little bit of trouble, right? 'Cause I'm a god!

Artemis: All right! Let's do this! Orion, get on my head like always!

Orion: Sure, sure, let's win this!

Artemis: Yeah!


Artemis: Easy win!

Artemis: Whew, I worked up a sweat!

Orion: (Pant, pant) ...I say this all the time, but fighting as a plush toy is rough...

Artemis: Oh, hey! Hey! Master!

Artemis: Um, I might cause a lot of problems for you in the future, but–

Artemis: Thanks for having me with you!

Fujimaru 1: I know.

Fujimaru 2: I'm ready for it.

Artemis: Thanks! Teeheehee! I like you almost as much as Orion!

Artemis: If there's a god you like, let me know, okay? I'll introduce you!

Golden Anniversary!

???: Master! Master! Please hide me, Master!!

Fujimaru 1: Not here now, leave a message.

???: Waaah! Your rejection hurts my poor little heart! I beg of you, Master!!!

Orion: A murderer! I'm being chased by a bloodthirsty killer! It's a murderer in a red and green striped sweater and a hockey mask!

Fujimaru 2: Orion, what's going on!?

Orion: Just open up! We'll talk then!

Orion: ...

Orion: Don't tell me you're not going to open up!? You devil! Oni! Artemis!!!

???: Daaarling♪

Orion: Oh, Lady Artemis has made her appearance! Sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

Orion: I understand!

Orion: If this is about pretending to be Nursery Rhyme's partner to trick the female staff of Chaldea into fawning over me...

Orion: I regret my actions from the bottom of my heart!

Artemis: ...You were doing that?

Orion: Ah, so you didn't know...then forge–gyaaah!!! Please! Please don't twist me like that! I don't bend that way!

Fujimaru 1: I didn't see anything...

Fujimaru 2: I'm going to bed...

Artemis: Yoo-hoo, Master! How are you?

Fujimaru 1: Um... Who's that next to you?

Artemis: Oh this? It used to be Orion. Now it's a rag.

Artemis: You can use it to clean the floors!

Orion: Cut it out!

Orion: I thought I was going to die! Actually, I very nearly DID die!

Artemis: Oh, you're fine. I held back.

Fujimaru 2: I'm good.

Artemis: Yep, yep. Being good is a wonderful thing☆

Artemis: Does darling appreciate his health now, too?

Orion: Yes! Absolutely, yes! Especially with you! Hooray for health! Not hurting is wonderful!

Fujimaru 1: So, what's all this, then?

Orion: ...What is it?

Artemis: Oh, right! So I've been wanting to ask Master...

Fujimaru 1: Golden...

Orion: Wedding...

Mash: Anniversary?

Fou: Foufoufoufoufou.

Mash: Yes, yes, Fou. Food time? Here you go.

Artemis: Mash, that was a sad response. As a goddess, that absolutely infuriates me!!!

Mash: M-my apologies. I was just surprised that it was a golden anniversary...

Fujimaru 1: Doesn't a golden anniversary mean...

Mash: Yes, it is a celebration for a couple who's been married for fifty years.

Mash: The celebration is said to have started in the year 1860 in Germany, and the custom spread throughout Europe.

Orion: Oh, I see. It must have been a big deal if a couple was together for 50 years in the nineteenth century.

Orion: No wonder people want to celebrate.

Artemis: Isn't it wonderful? I admire that kind of celebration...

Mash: The custom is to give gifts of gold, or anything made in pairs.

Orion: ...So what's this golden thing have to do with anything?

Mash: Yes, um... Artemis, your marriage was quite recent...


Artemis: How cruel! But we did get married! Married! M-A-R-R-I-E-D!

Artemis: We even went on a honeymoon, and you even gave me a ring!!!

Mash: She's having a tantrum...

Mash: But Artemis is correct. You gave her a ring, and you went on a honeymoon.

Orion: Heh. Miss Mash. You've forgotten one critical thing: I'm a nice guy who goes around freely like a wandering cloud in the sky.

Orion: From one journey to another, from port to port... I start from Greece and go all around the world.

Fujimaru 1: So you want to travel around the world...

Fujimaru 2: To do a lot of Celtic-ing with a bunch of women.


Orion: (Gasp!) Oh crap! I didn't mean to say that out loud!

Artemis: Teehee. Is that so, Orion? Then I shall tear this wandering cloud to shreds!


Orion: I think this golden anniversary is a GREAT idea! Now that I think of it, we're Heroic Spirits...

Orion: ...and Heroic Spirits essentially have no concept of time.

Orion: I feel like we've been together for fifty years already.

Artemis: You're absolutely right, darling! For fifty years, our love as a married couple has grown stronger!

Fujimaru 1: He's been brainwashed...

Mash: What makes this sad is that...though it could be harmful, this shouldn't be much of a hindrance to us if we don't do anything...

Artemis: Now come, let's do a golden anniversary! Um, what do we do on a golden anniversary?

Artemis: Shall we gather a bunch of humans with the golden touch, like King Midas?

Fujimaru 1: Stop.

Fujimaru 2: Please no.

Artemis: Oh, you're right! A golden statue is nothing special these days! ...If that's the case, it has to be...

Artemis: A Rayshift trip to travel around the world!

Fujimaru 1: (Mash...)

Mash: (Yes, I have a very bad feeling about this. They are definitely going to get Senpai in all kinds of trouble...)

Mash: (Let's just slowly back out of the room so they don't notice.)

Fou: Fou!!!

Artemis: !

Orion: !

Artemis: Teehee, you're not getting away! Come, Master!

Artemis: You're going to help make sure our golden anniversary goes beautifully!

Mash: Fou...

Fou: Fou?

Mash: Rayshift successful. We have safely arrived at the French seaside.

Mash: Good work, Master.

Fou: Fou!

Artemis: Ahhh, what a wonderful breeze! The ocean is outside my jurisdiction but that just makes it all the more exciting.

Artemis: We're in an era where I don't have to fight for territory. So let's have a nice, peaceful talk about our married life!

Fujimaru 1: Huh?

Fujimaru 2: Where's Orion?

Artemis: ...Darling!?

Orion: Hahahaha! Successfully escaped!

Orion: I mean, I know we'll eventually go back to Chaldea, so I am definitely going to get punished...

Orion: But to hell with that! My name's Orion, the famed hunter of love!!!

Orion: I'm a hero with a real lust for life, if you know what I'm saying! Because when I'm around, it's always bear season, eyy!

???: ~♪

Orion: Whoa! I spy a real sweet hottie over there!

Orion: I only see the back of her head, but it's a black-haired beauty! Prim and proper! Looks like I hit the jackpot!

Orion: Woohoo! I'm gonna snuggle her by pretending to be a cute creature!

Orion: My body is a cute teddy bear! No one can resist a cute stuffed bear!

Orion: Hewwo, pwetty wady, I'm Owion!

???: ...!

???: What the...!?

Artemis: Ah!

Fujimaru 1: What's wrong?

Artemis: My goddess senses are tingling! I sense danger!

Artemis: Darling... My darling's...skull...is getting caved in...

Fujimaru 1: Let's go save him!

Artemis: Right! Hold on, my darling! We're coming to rescue you!

Artemis: And then afterwards, if you can explain to me IN DETAIL why you fled, that would be appreciated!

Mash: (Artemis may be worried about Orion, but she is still REALLY angry...)

Fujimaru 2: Huh. Well, he'll be missed.

Artemis: He's not dead yet!!!

Artemis: Let's go, Master! Let's go and save my darling!

Artemis: There will be many mouths-to-mouths! Much smooching!

Mash: I hate to break this to you, but mouth-to-mouth won't be effective on a caved-in skull!

Artemis: Ummm, according to my goddess senses, he should be around here...

Artemis: There!

Orion: Kyuuu...kyuu...kyu...

Fujimaru 1: Orion...

Fujimaru 2: Has turned into a creature that's only cute...

Artemis: Come to your senses, Darling! I shall immediately do mouth-to-mouth on you!

Artemis: Hng!!! (Squeeze)

Orion: Gagck!? ...!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

Mash: S-S-S-S-S-S-Senpai! Orion's face is turning into something unbelievable! Even though he's only a bear! Even though he's only a plushie...!

Fujimaru 1: (Punch Orion with all my might.)

Orion: Ahhh... Aaaaaagck!?

Fujimaru 2: (Pull Artemis away with all my might.)

Artemis: Kyaaah!? Master, touching someone else's wife is fiendish!!!

Artemis: And doing so in front of Mash...!

Mash: No, it's fine! I know this is all a misunderstanding, so I'm not mad!

Orion: I thought I was gonna die. Actually, I did die. TWICE! Once from my caved-in skull, and again from getting suffocated!

Mash: I'm glad you–

Orion: Master. Have you ever wondered why you're alive?

Fujimaru 1: A few times...

Orion: We both...have it tough...

Martha: My apologies... Something like a tiny wild animal jumped on me, so I punched it to smithereens without thinking...

Mash: Martha...

Martha: Yes, I know! I know what you are thinking! But I hope you understand my predicament as well!

Martha: As you know, in this getup, I become more aggressive than usual.

Martha: So...I couldn't help it... I'm sorry! I regret my actions! So much so, I will double my praying time!

Orion: This woman's amazing. That was the first time I ever felt my insides leaking out.

Artemis: His first time... How dare she be my darling's first!!

Artemis: This is unforgivable! You're supposed to be a saint... Have you no shame!?

Artemis: The only person who can hurt my darling is me!

Orion: Oh boy. Aren't you just full of cheerful bloodlust.

Fujimaru 1: And she's your wife.

Orion: What. A. Let. Down.

Martha: Uh, um... I'm not sure if I can say this, given that I was the one who directly inflicted this holy punishment...

Martha: Actually, I am not foolish enough to get involved in lovers' quarrels or domestic disputes...

Martha: I'm not like that, but...Artemis! Your love is a bit too aggressive!

Martha: First of all, love should be tender, even when you're hurting your beloved.

Martha: No matter how fiendish, devilish, demonic, or even...um, ursine your partner is—

Martha: I can say with certainty that unrequited love is no good!

Artemis: It's not unrequited! We are very much in love!

Orion: I'm actually a little hurt to be called fiendish, devilish, and demonic.

Martha: No. If it truly was a mutual love, no married man would so casually hit on another woman.

Martha: Even if Orion is guilty, I can see that Artemis also has need for improvement and reform.

Martha: I do not intend to criticize the ways of the Greeks, but I am called the patron saint of wives!

Martha: Artemis and Orion! I shall correct your twisted, unrequited love with my holy fists!

Fujimaru 1: This is going to hurt...

Fujimaru 2: Head trauma, here I come...

Martha: Well, yes, I'm afraid that's the plan! Don't worry. I will make sure not to hurt you much, Fujimaru!


Artemis: Ungh... She's tough! Darling, were you holding back!?

Orion: 'Course not! I always take battle seriously!

Martha: Mnnngh...as obsessive and unhealthy as it is, love is still love...I suppose.

Martha: And based on Orion's behavior, it doesn't seem like it is completely unrequited love...

Artemis: That's right! Our love is mutual... It is!

Mash: Mutual love... To think of others, and love others.

Mash: It doesn't appear that way... No, but maybe...those two seem to have some bizarre sort of love of their own...

Mash: ...Even if they do not follow the same path, or if it's unrequited, as long as they respect one another, that may be fine...

Martha: ...Well, there are indeed very dangerous unrequited affections in this world...

Mash: And yet... I suppose...

Martha: ...Either way, I seem to have jumped to conclusions. One cannot say that just understanding each other can be called love.

Martha: I'm sorry, Artemis. And Bearion.

Martha: No matter what form it takes, love is unchanging, and it is one of the primal emotions. One should love greatly, and so find great happiness.

Artemis: Our beliefs may differ, but love is the same all around! Orion, let's love each other to the fullest!

Mash: ...Oh?

Artemis: Huh? I thought my head felt light. Darling's gone.

Fujimaru 1: He sneaked away a minute ago.

Artemis: ...

Artemis: Daaarrrliiing!!!


Orion: Fwahahahahaha!

Orion: I don't know how or where I escaped to, but looks like I ended up in a different world!

Orion: What should I do? It'll be scary if I get found now. Maybe I should hide out here for a couple of days until things cool down.

???: Oh? Oh my, oh my. A guest. It's a guest! And it's a bear!

???: Oh, sir! Are you the one she's been waiting for?

Orion: Not sure what you're talking about, but sure!

???: I see. Then we need to have a wedding!

Orion: Uh, actually, wrong person! I mean, wrong bear!

???: It's a wedding! The entire country is going to party! The princess will surely be pleased!

???: Her prince has come back!

Orion: Time to be a sneaky bear...

???: No! You can't run away! (Grab)

Orion: Gyaaah! Let go! You got the wrong bear!

Orion: Nothing good can come of me posing as a prince in a fairytale place like this!

???: Don't be so naughty!

???: A bad prince like you...needs to turn into a ■■■!

???: This curse won't break until the princess kisses you!

Orion: ...What the heck!?

Artemis: Here! I've got darling's scent!

Fujimaru 1: ...I'm exhausted.

Mash: You really are getting dragged around the world.

Mash: Where could Orion have fled to so quickly?

Fujimaru 2: You mean...the scent of your prey?

Mash: Master's burn doesn't have the usual sting... Maybe because jet lag has [♂ him /♀️ her} worn out?

Artemis: What a cute town...

Artemis: After our golden anniversary celebration, I would love to live in a home like this!

Artemis: Master, since you saved the world, I want you to find a nice property for me!

Artemis: And I want you to live nearby, so we can be neighbors!

Artemis: You know, it's important to have good neighbors!

Mash: Good neighbors...

Artemis: Now all I need is my darling...

???: Oh? Oh my, oh my. There are so many visitors today!

???: I'm so happy. Adults and children both are welcome in the Land of Sweets!

???: Why? Because I can just turn the adults into children, and then it's fine!

Mash: Nursery Rhyme...!

Artemis: Oh my, you are a cutie. But... I'm sorry, my heart belongs only to my darling!

Artemis: But that strange fate of yours, make sure you treasure it, okay?

Artemis: Anyway, have you seen my darling?

Nursery Rhyme: Darling...?

Fujimaru 1: The talking stuffed bear.

Nursery Rhyme: Oh no... You can't! That prince bear is the princess's!

Artemis: ...What did you just say?

Nursery Rhyme: The prince has finally come home to his sweet princess!

Nursery Rhyme: And we're going to hold a grand wedding party to celebrate! You can't steal someone's true love in a fairytale!

Artemis: ...Oh? Uh-huuuh...

Artemis: Hey Master. Sounds like my darling is at the princess's place.

Artemis: How strange. If he's not here, where could he be?

Mash: M-Master...this is bad! This is very bad!

Mash: I'm afraid the Land of Sweets is going to be set on fire, melting the chocolates and candies... Even the cakes will get charred!

Fujimaru 1: Calm down!

Artemis: It's fine. I am calm. But I will never forgive Orion.

Artemis: A grand party with a princess... This isn't an affair... This is the real deal!

Artemis: This was supposed to be a happy golden anniversary celebration...but to learn that he's in another serious relationship...! Orion, you dummy!

Nursery Rhyme: Protect the Land of Sweets, everyone!

Mash: I'm not sure if they're enemies...but let's ready for battle, Master!


Nursery Rhyme: Kyuuu. I'm dizzy...

Mash: Poor Nursery Rhyme is down!

Artemis: I will not allow my darling to get married! I'll capture that bear and take him to file divorce papers right away!

Artemis: Oh, and Master, use your authority to annul the marriage! That way, he won't be a divorcé!

Artemis: Darling, where are you!?

Brynhild: Um... Excuse me... Are you perhaps looking for a bear?

Mash: Brynhild!?

Artemis: Are you the homewrecker!?

Brynhild: Please, no... It is not what you think...

Brynhild: ...I wanted to return him to you.

Artemis: ...Come again?

Artemis: Darling! No... Look at you...!

Mash: (I thought I saw a similar-looking chocolate during last year's Valentine's Day...)

Fujimaru 1: He's mouthing something...

Fujimaru 2: “Help...”

Brynhild: Um... I was searching for Sigurd...

Brynhild: Nursery brought this bear thinking he was Sigurd...

Brynhild: Even when I said he wasn't, she wouldn't listen. She said, “He may be a chocolate bear right now, but he'll turn into Sigurd when the curse is lifted.”

Brynhild: And so I was a little flustered.

Fujimaru 1: Is there a way to lift the chocolate curse?

Brynhild: Yes... According to Nursery...

Nursery Rhyme: You KISS him!!!

Fujimaru 1: You what, now?

Mash: What!?

Artemis: Kiss!?

Nursery Rhyme: Yes, that's right. Kissing him will lift the chocolate curse!

Nursery Rhyme: His bear curse may also get lifted, but I'm not sure, since that's not my specialty!

Mash: I see...

Mash: So that's why Brynhild was flustered... She was afraid that whoever could lift the curse wouldn't show up if she left.

Brynhild: Yes, I was at a loss.

Brynhild: This bear is not Sigurd, but there is no doubt he is a hero.

Brynhild: No matter what form he'd taken, as a former Valkyrie, I didn't feel right abandoning him...

Artemis: ...

Artemis: Hey Master, why do you think darling tries to escape?

Artemis: Weddings, golden anniversary celebrations... They don't really matter to me... Well, I might not go that far.

Artemis: But as long as my darling just stays with me... As long as he and I can live together forever, for eternity...

Artemis: That's all I really need.

Fujimaru 1: He's scared he'll start to hate you.

Artemis: Scared...that he'll hate me?

Brynhild: ...That may be correct.

Brynhild: No matter how intimate a man and woman might be, if they are together for long enough, they may end up killing each other.

Brynhild: That is not because of pure hatred, but hatred that stems from love.

Brynhild: The more one loves, the stronger their wish not to detest or be detested becomes.

Brynhild: Human emotion is not something that is constant... But it shines all the brighter for it.

Fujimaru 2: He loves, therefore he wants to be pursued.

Nursery Rhyme: I know! I know!

Nursery Rhyme: The prince falls for Cinderella when she flees!

Nursery Rhyme: That bear flees from you because he wants you to always feel excited!

Nursery Rhyme: Because eternity is too boring!

Nursery Rhyme: When you're super bored, you might start hating the person you're with!

Nursery Rhyme: That's why you flee! The chase keeps you interested in the other person!

Artemis: ...I see. So that's how human emotions work.

Artemis: As a Divine Spirit, that kind of thinking is incomprehensible to me. I can't imagine eternity being...uncertain...

Brynhild: ...True, it may not be something you can comprehend. I really only understand it in theory.

Artemis: Eternity is boring... So you say.

Artemis: Aw, my darling is impossible! He wants me to keep loving him by making me so anxious!

Artemis: Fine. If that's what he wants, I'll chase after him for eternity!

Artemis: As long as my heart swells from the occasional, whimsical kindness from him, I will go absolutely crazy for my darling!

Artemis: Yes, yes, my Maiden Circuits are in overdrive! Now, my darling! I shall lift your dreadful chocolate curse!

Orion: Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Artemis: Good morning, my darling!

Orion: Eh? Huh? I thought I was chocolate...

Orion: Ack! Artemis!? I-I'm sorry I ran away! It was just a spur of the moment thing! I swear!

Artemis: ...Yep! It's fine, my darling. I forgive you!

Orion: Eh, seriously!?

Orion: Normally this kind of offense would result in you reducing me to my constituent atoms!

Orion: Wait, did I end up in a parallel world? Is this for real? Oh, no, I'm in a world that's gonna get pruned, aren't I!?

Orion: Oh, but if it's a parallel world...

Artemis: Come, my darling. Let's continue our golden anniversary celebration!

Artemis: Where shall we go next? It is a golden anniversary, so maybe the Temple of the Golden Pavilion in Japan?

Artemis: Or perhaps the Golden Gate Bridge?

Artemis: Anywhere is fine. As long as I'm with my darling, it will be wonderful!

Orion: Why hello there, delicate-looking girl. I don't see much of your type in Greece.

Orion: How would you like to escape into a love adventure, hmm?

Brynhild: Um... I can't... My lance will become lighter and lighter...

Brynhild: It could even float up and away like a balloon...

Orion: Wha–whoa!?

Artemis: Okay, my darling.

Artemis: Let's go get you set on fire at the Temple of the Golden Pavilion. It's fine, you'll burn well!

Artemis: Or the Golden Gate Bridge is fine too. You can bungee jump without a rope!

Orion: Well, I guess that's one way to go...

Orion: ...What the heck am I making clever commentary for!? Aaand Artemis is just her usual self!


Mash: ...Master, do you have any closing remarks?

Fujimaru 1: Love takes so many forms!

Brynhild: That wasn't...much of a closing remark...

Fujimaru 2: Love is scary!

Ibaraki-Douji: That's my line.