Orion (Artemis)
Unsweet Honeymoon
Artemis:
Hello, Master! Are you here?
Fujimaru 1:
Please leave.
Fujimaru 2:
I'm not home.
Artemis:
How mean!
Darling, this Master is neglecting his duties.
Artemis:
...Darling?
Mash:
Um, please don't stare at me like that.
Fou:
Fuukaaaa!
Orion:
It's fine, it's all right, it's not like it'll hurt you.
Artemis:
...Hmph!
Mash:
You (Orion) are in trouble, aren't you?
Orion:
That's right. I'm in trouble.
Physically.
Fujimaru 1:
Please leave.
Fujimaru 2:
I just remembered something, gotta go.
Artemis:
Darling,
This person is so heartless.
Artemis:
Just because Mash is here is no excuse!
Mash:
???
Orion:
...Just tell them what you want already.
Artemis:
Okay!
Um, we want to go to France!
Fujimaru 1:
Why?
Fujimaru 2:
For what reason?
Artemis:
Our honeymoon!
Fujimaru 1:
Please leave!
Mash:
We're here...
Artemis:
Wow, so this is France!
It's wonderful! The air's so different than Greece!
Orion:
Sorry, she's being so selfish...
Artemis:
Let's get this honeymoon started!
First, the Arc de Triomphe!
Mash:
The Arc de Triomphe was built in 1806,
so it doesn't exist yet...
Artemis:
How about the Eiffel Tower?
Mash:
That's 1887.
If you're willing to wait another 450 years or so...
Artemis:
Aww! No way!
Orion:
Right, right, are you done?
Let's just wander around a bit and go home.
Mash:
I really don't feel like going on a tourist trip...
Artemis:
Sigh... I guess we'll have to see the towns or something.
Artemis:
But it's probably boring without the Arc de Triomphe or Eiffel Tower... Let's go, but don't expect too much.
Artemis:
Aww, it really is boring.
The only things different are the buildings and clothes.
Artemis:
There's people,
there's dogs...
Artemis:
And there's monsters...
Mash:
...Why are there monsters here?
Oh, forget it. Let's just fight them! Help me out!
Artemis:
What? I don't wanna!
Orion:
Just do it!
Artemis:
Okaay.
It can't be helped, let's kill them!
--BATTLE--:
Mash:
Whew. I didn't expect to see monsters...
Artemis:
What are they doing here?
This world was repaired, right?
Mash:
Something might be happening.
We have to look into it.
Fujimaru 1:
Let's do that.
Fujimaru 2:
Agreed.
Artemis:
Huh? But our honeymoon...
Orion:
Right, right. Well, the honeymoon's delayed.
Artemis:
Noooo...
Orion:
...
Artemis:
...
Orion:
Oh, fine! Fine!
Listen, Artemis.
Orion:
"This is our honeymoon."
We're fighting monsters on our honeymoon.
Orion:
We'll sightsee and beat bad guys.
Good times all around.
Artemis:
Orion...
Orion:
Sounds fun, right? Sounds great, right?
I know it sounds totally fun to me!
Artemis:
...Yeah, you're right!
Darling, I love you!
Orion:
Your love is way too clingy. No thanks.
Artemis:
That's so mean!
Mash:
...Master, do those two like each other, or not?
Fujimaru 1:
What do you think?
Mash:
...I'm not sure.
Fujimaru 2:
They're lovey-dovey.
Mash:
I-I see.
Mash:
Love is... Very deep.
Artemis:
Where are we?
Mash:
An abandoned military camp, I think.
There shouldn't be anything interesting here.
Orion:
Yeah, the only interesting things would be...
You see all those bags in the corner?
Mash:
Yes, I do...
Orion:
Body bags, right?
Mash:
They are.
Orion:
...They're moving around.
Artemis:
Aah! That's scary!
Orion, protect me!
Orion:
It's the other way around, dummy!
I need you to protect me!
Mash:
So this time it's the living dead, huh?
Artemis, let's fight!
Artemis:
Okay! Orion needs my help, which powers me up!
Let's go!
--BATTLE--:
Orion:
...Whew. That was hard work.
Fujimaru 1:
You did nothing.
Fujimaru 2:
You did something?
Orion:
Master, don't say that.
It's depressing... It makes me really sad...
Artemis:
Sad Orion is so cute!
Mmmmmmm!
Orion:
You'll crush me! You're crushing me!
And I'm not cute, I'm cool!
Artemis:
Come on, let's go somewhere else. This time,
I'd like someplace that doesn't smell like blood!
Mash:
O-Okay, we'll go somewhere else.
Artemis:
...This place reeks of blood!
Mash:
I'm sorry.
But this castle should have been purified long ago–
Artemis:
Aww, my honeymoon...
Our trip as newlyweds...
Orion:
Don't worry, as long as we defeat whatever's lurking here, I'm sure the smell will be gone.
Artemis:
Hmph... I'm really irritated now!
Whoever runs into me should just blame their fate!
Artemis:
Let's go, Orion, Master!
--BATTLE--:
Artemis:
Okay, we beat them!
Orion:
Sigh, oh brother...
I'm tired (mentally, even though I did nothing)...
Mash:
To think Lamias nested up in the castle...
Artemis:
My honeymoon is ruined...
Orion:
...Hmm?
Hey, Artemis.
Artemis:
What is it, Darling?
Orion:
Here.
Artemis:
Huh? This is...a ring?
Orion:
The Lamia had it... Well, you want a ring for your honeymoon, right?
Artemis:
Oh...
Orion:
Listen, I know a ring I took off a Lamia isn't going to make you that happy–
Artemis:
No, I'll treasure it! I'll treasure it forever!
Yay! Hooray!
Orion:
Sigh. Oh, brother...
Orion:
Master, Mash.
Sorry for the trouble.
Mash:
Not at all.
...I see. Their love is very complex.
Mash:
But it's kind of nice to watch.
Orion:
I-It's not like that, okay!?
This is... um... it's not like that!
Fujimaru 1:
No one likes a male tsundere.
Orion:
It's not like that, I said– Argh, whatever!
Mash, just let me snuggle between your breasts!
Mash:
Please stop using me as a way to get out of trouble!
Artemis:
...What are you doing, Darling?
You idiot! Idiot! IDIOT!
A Certain Love Song
Artemis:
Hey, Master!
Fujimaru 1:
I'm not here, leave!
Fujimaru 2:
I'm not home!
Mash:
Good answer, Senpai.
But the door's already open so that won't work.
Orion:
What's up, guys?
We've come to cause more trouble.
Mash:
Oh, so trouble is guaranteed...
Artemis:
I want to go to America!
Take me there!
Fujimaru 1:
No way!
Fujimaru 2:
You can't!
Mash:
...And here we are in America.
Artemis:
Yay! Broadway!
Let's go to Broadway, Darling!
Orion:
Um... Broadway is...
Fujimaru 1:
Not here.
Mash:
If you can wait another century or so...
Artemis:
Aww, I'm disappointed! But that's okay, anywhere's fun as long as I'm with Darling!
Artemis:
Come on, let's go!
Orion:
Sorry, can you come with us for a while?
Mash:
...Fine.
Let's go.
Artemis:
Wow, it's a town! How wonderful!
It feels just like a Western!
Artemis:
...Are there cowboys?
Mash:
I don't think there are any in this era...
Wait a minute. Why is there no one here?
Mash:
That cry... Is that...
A wyvern?
Artemis:
Oh, wonderful!
A dragon!
Artemis:
...Wait, I'm sick of dragons.
We fought a bunch of them at sea.
Artemis:
I don't know who it is, but they suck at picking enemies.
Mash:
Um, let's fight them!
Orion:
Right, right. Let's do it!
--BATTLE--:
Mash:
I don't see any Celtic warriors...
I guess this wasn't their doing.
Artemis:
It's strange, huh?
Orion:
...
Fujimaru 1:
What's wrong?
Fujimaru 2:
Something bothering you?
Orion:
No, sorry.
It's nothing.
Orion:
I was just... Yeah, I was just thinking which I like better, Mash's legs or breasts.
Artemis:
–Darling?
Orion:
No, um, well, wai—
Mash:
Aww,
Orion is such a silly person.
Mash:
...He is a person, right?
Orion:
I'm a person, okay!?
This is just a temporary form, okay!?
Artemis:
Sigh.
Hey, Orion?
Orion:
Huh? What is it?
Artemis:
All these empty plains are boring me!
We came all the way to America!
Orion:
Sigh, there's nothing we can do.
Orion:
Then let me tell you this funny story about how I met this guy's wife when she was wearing nothing but–
Artemis:
...That's not a funny story, is it?
Orion:
It's not, is... BWRAGH!
Artemis:
Like, sheesh! HMPH!
Mash:
She just said “Hmph!”
Fou:
Fou...
Artemis:
...Hmm? Not again!
First wyverns, now what!?
Artemis:
Golems! Golems, I see!
Fine, fine! I'll do it!
Orion:
Oww...
--BATTLE--:
Artemis:
Hmph!
Where are all these monsters coming from?
Fujimaru 1:
...
Mash:
Master?
Orion:
Master!
Orion:
...Sorry, but don't say anything.
It's better if I tell her.
Mash:
?
Artemis:
Huh? What? Are you keeping secrets?
Come on, you have to tell me, too!
Orion:
...It's not a secret, but, um, well, you see...
Orion:
...Basically, don't you think that all these monsters who show up in this world are our fault?
Artemis:
–Huh?
Orion:
I mean, I'm nothing special,
but you're supposedly a god, right?
Orion:
Even if not in your Divine Form, you still have some influence on this world.
Orion:
Distorting it, opening holes and what have you...
Orion:
So it's kind of obvious that weird things are gonna pour out from there–
Artemis:
...So what?
I'm not allowed to go to other worlds?
Artemis:
...Only where a Holy Grail War is being fought?
Orion:
Well, I guess... that's how things look.
Artemis:
...
...
Artemis:
WAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
No, no, no, NO, NOOOO!
Orion:
Sigh, what do I do now...
Artemis:
I mean, I thought we could finally, finally go outdoors on a date!
Artemis:
Without having to sneak behind Big Brother's back!
Artemis:
I wanted to hold hands, and hug, and make out and stuff!
Artemis:
WAAAAHHHH!
Orion:
Sigh...
Mash:
...W-What do we do, Master?
She's bawling. She's totally bawling.
Fujimaru 1:
Just leave it to Orion.
Orion:
Thanks, Master.
Could you help with something else, too?
Fujimaru 1:
Sure.
Artemis:
What?
Orion:
Does it really matter?
Artemis:
Does what...matter?
Orion:
Does it matter if there are enemies?
It doesn't mean you and I can't go out.
Artemis:
Huh?
Orion:
I mean, you're one of the gods of Olympus!
Does a god really care if she causes others trouble!?
Artemis:
B-But I can't do that!
Orion:
You retaliated a hundredfold to those that peeked on you when you were taking a bath, didn't you?
Artemis:
(Sob) You've got me there!
But I was embarrassed!
Orion:
Then it doesn't matter!
What kind of god cares what happens to other people?
Artemis:
But–
Orion:
One more thing! ...Throw those stupid worries that I'm going to hate you into Hades or something!
Orion:
It's too late! It's way too late for me to hate you for stuff like that now, dummy!
Artemis:
(Sob...)
Orion:
...
Mash:
A... A dragon!
It's directly above us, and descending!
Orion:
Artemis, you ready?
Artemis:
Yeah... Yeah!
That's right! I'm a god! I'm super-duper important!
Artemis:
So I'm allowed to cause a little bit of trouble, right? 'Cause I'm a god!
Artemis:
All right! Let's do this!
Orion, get on my head like always!
Orion:
Sure, sure, let's win this!
Artemis:
Yeah!
--BATTLE--:
Artemis:
Easy win!
Artemis:
Whew, I worked up a sweat!
Orion:
(Pant, pant) ...I say this all the time,
but fighting as a plush toy is rough...
Artemis:
Oh, hey! Hey! Master!
Artemis:
Um, I might cause a lot of problems for you in the future, but–
Artemis:
Thanks for having me with you!
Fujimaru 1:
I know.
Fujimaru 2:
I'm ready for it.
Artemis:
Thanks! Teeheehee!
I like you almost as much as Orion!
Artemis:
If there's a god you like, let me know, okay?
I'll introduce you!
Golden Anniversary!
???:
Master! Master! Please hide me, Master!!
Fujimaru 1:
Not here now, leave a message.
???:
Waaah! Your rejection hurts my poor little heart!
I beg of you, Master!!!
Orion:
A murderer! I'm being chased by a bloodthirsty killer!
It's a murderer in a red and green striped sweater and a hockey mask!
Fujimaru 2:
Orion, what's going on!?
Orion:
Just open up! We'll talk then!
Orion:
...
Orion:
Don't tell me you're not going to open up!?
You devil! Oni! Artemis!!!
???:
Daaarling♪
Orion:
Oh, Lady Artemis has made her appearance!
Sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Orion:
I understand!
Orion:
If this is about pretending to be Nursery Rhyme's partner to trick the female staff of Chaldea into fawning over me...
Orion:
I regret my actions from the bottom of my heart!
Artemis:
...You were doing that?
Orion:
Ah, so you didn't know...then forge–gyaaah!!! Please! Please don't twist me like that! I don't bend that way!
Fujimaru 1:
I didn't see anything...
Fujimaru 2:
I'm going to bed...
Artemis:
Yoo-hoo, Master! How are you?
Fujimaru 1:
Um... Who's that next to you?
Artemis:
Oh this? It used to be Orion. Now it's a rag.
Artemis:
You can use it to clean the floors!
Orion:
Cut it out!
Orion:
I thought I was going to die!
Actually, I very nearly DID die!
Artemis:
Oh, you're fine. I held back.
Fujimaru 2:
I'm good.
Artemis:
Yep, yep. Being good is a wonderful thing☆
Artemis:
Does darling appreciate his health now, too?
Orion:
Yes! Absolutely, yes! Especially with you!
Hooray for health! Not hurting is wonderful!
Fujimaru 1:
So, what's all this, then?
Orion:
...What is it?
Artemis:
Oh, right! So I've been wanting to ask Master...
Fujimaru 1:
Golden...
Orion:
Wedding...
Mash:
Anniversary?
Fou:
Foufoufoufoufou.
Mash:
Yes, yes, Fou.
Food time? Here you go.
Artemis:
Mash, that was a sad response.
As a goddess, that absolutely infuriates me!!!
Mash:
M-my apologies. I was just surprised that it was a golden anniversary...
Fujimaru 1:
Doesn't a golden anniversary mean...
Mash:
Yes, it is a celebration for a couple who's been married for fifty years.
Mash:
The celebration is said to have started in the year 1860 in Germany, and the custom spread throughout Europe.
Orion:
Oh, I see. It must have been a big deal if a couple was together for 50 years in the nineteenth century.
Orion:
No wonder people want to celebrate.
Artemis:
Isn't it wonderful? I admire that kind of celebration...
Mash:
The custom is to give gifts of gold, or anything made in pairs.
Orion:
...So what's this golden thing have to do with anything?
Mash:
Yes, um... Artemis, your marriage was quite recent...
Orion:
I'M STILL SINGLE!
Artemis:
How cruel! But we did get married! Married! M-A-R-R-I-E-D!
Artemis:
We even went on a honeymoon, and you even gave me a ring!!!
Mash:
She's having a tantrum...
Mash:
But Artemis is correct.
You gave her a ring, and you went on a honeymoon.
Orion:
Heh. Miss Mash. You've forgotten one critical thing: I'm a nice guy who goes around freely like a wandering cloud in the sky.
Orion:
From one journey to another, from port to port...
I start from Greece and go all around the world.
Fujimaru 1:
So you want to travel around the world...
Fujimaru 2:
To do a lot of Celtic-ing with a bunch of women.
Orion:
DAMN RIGHT!
Orion:
(Gasp!) Oh crap! I didn't mean to say that out loud!
Artemis:
Teehee. Is that so, Orion?
Then I shall tear this wandering cloud to shreds!
Orion:
NOOOOOO!
Orion:
I think this golden anniversary is a GREAT idea!
Now that I think of it, we're Heroic Spirits...
Orion:
...and Heroic Spirits essentially have no concept of time.
Orion:
I feel like we've been together for fifty years already.
Artemis:
You're absolutely right, darling! For fifty years, our love as a married couple has grown stronger!
Fujimaru 1:
He's been brainwashed...
Mash:
What makes this sad is that...though it could be harmful, this shouldn't be much of a hindrance to us if we don't do anything...
Artemis:
Now come, let's do a golden anniversary!
Um, what do we do on a golden anniversary?
Artemis:
Shall we gather a bunch of humans with the golden touch, like King Midas?
Fujimaru 1:
Stop.
Fujimaru 2:
Please no.
Artemis:
Oh, you're right! A golden statue is nothing special these days! ...If that's the case, it has to be...
Artemis:
A Rayshift trip to travel around the world!
Fujimaru 1:
(Mash...)
Mash:
(Yes, I have a very bad feeling about this. They are definitely going to get Senpai in all kinds of trouble...)
Mash:
(Let's just slowly back out of the room so they don't notice.)
Fou:
Fou!!!
Artemis:
!
Orion:
!
Artemis:
Teehee, you're not getting away! Come, Master!
Artemis:
You're going to help make sure our golden anniversary goes beautifully!
Mash:
Fou...
Fou:
Fou?
Mash:
Rayshift successful.
We have safely arrived at the French seaside.
Mash:
Good work, Master.
Fou:
Fou!
Artemis:
Ahhh, what a wonderful breeze! The ocean is outside my jurisdiction but that just makes it all the more exciting.
Artemis:
We're in an era where I don't have to fight for territory. So let's have a nice, peaceful talk about our married life!
Fujimaru 1:
Huh?
Fujimaru 2:
Where's Orion?
Artemis:
...Darling!?
Orion:
Hahahaha! Successfully escaped!
Orion:
I mean, I know we'll eventually go back to Chaldea, so I am definitely going to get punished...
Orion:
But to hell with that!
My name's Orion, the famed hunter of love!!!
Orion:
I'm a hero with a real lust for life, if you know what I'm saying!
Because when I'm around, it's always bear season, eyy!
???:
～♪
Orion:
Whoa! I spy a real sweet hottie over there!
Orion:
I only see the back of her head, but it's a black-haired beauty! Prim and proper! Looks like I hit the jackpot!
Orion:
Woohoo! I'm gonna snuggle her by pretending to be a cute creature!
Orion:
My body is a cute teddy bear!
No one can resist a cute stuffed bear!
Orion:
Hewwo, pwetty wady, I'm Owion!
???:
...!
???:
What the...!?
Artemis:
Ah!
Fujimaru 1:
What's wrong?
Artemis:
My goddess senses are tingling! I sense danger!
Artemis:
Darling... My darling's...skull...is getting caved in...
Fujimaru 1:
Let's go save him!
Artemis:
Right! Hold on, my darling!
We're coming to rescue you!
Artemis:
And then afterwards, if you can explain to me IN DETAIL why you fled, that would be appreciated!
Mash:
(Artemis may be worried about Orion, but she is still REALLY angry...)
Fujimaru 2:
Huh. Well, he'll be missed.
Artemis:
He's not dead yet!!!
Artemis:
Let's go, Master!
Let's go and save my darling!
Artemis:
There will be many mouths-to-mouths!
Much smooching!
Mash:
I hate to break this to you, but mouth-to-mouth won't be effective on a caved-in skull!
Artemis:
Ummm, according to my goddess senses, he should be around here...
Artemis:
There!
Orion:
Kyuuu...kyuu...kyu...
Fujimaru 1:
Orion...
Fujimaru 2:
Has turned into a creature that's only cute...
Artemis:
Come to your senses, Darling!
I shall immediately do mouth-to-mouth on you!
Artemis:
Hng!!! (Squeeze)
Orion:
Gagck!?
...!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?
Mash:
S-S-S-S-S-S-Senpai! Orion's face is turning into something unbelievable! Even though he's only a bear! Even though he's only a plushie...!
Fujimaru 1:
(Punch Orion with all my might.)
Orion:
Ahhh... Aaaaaagck!?
Fujimaru 2:
(Pull Artemis away with all my might.)
Artemis:
Kyaaah!? Master, touching someone else's wife is fiendish!!!
Artemis:
And doing so in front of Mash...!
Mash:
No, it's fine! I know this is all a misunderstanding, so I'm not mad!
Orion:
I thought I was gonna die. Actually, I did die. TWICE! Once from my caved-in skull, and again from getting suffocated!
Mash:
I'm glad you–
Orion:
Master. Have you ever wondered why you're alive?
Fujimaru 1:
A few times...
Orion:
We both...have it tough...
Martha:
My apologies... Something like a tiny wild animal jumped on me, so I punched it to smithereens without thinking...
Mash:
Martha...
Martha:
Yes, I know! I know what you are thinking!
But I hope you understand my predicament as well!
Martha:
As you know, in this getup, I become more aggressive than usual.
Martha:
So...I couldn't help it... I'm sorry! I regret my actions!
So much so, I will double my praying time!
Orion:
This woman's amazing.
That was the first time I ever felt my insides leaking out.
Artemis:
His first time... How dare she be my darling's first!!
Artemis:
This is unforgivable! You're supposed to be a saint... Have you no shame!?
Artemis:
The only person who can hurt my darling is me!
Orion:
Oh boy. Aren't you just full of cheerful bloodlust.
Fujimaru 1:
And she's your wife.
Orion:
What. A. Let. Down.
Martha:
Uh, um... I'm not sure if I can say this, given that I was the one who directly inflicted this holy punishment...
Martha:
Actually, I am not foolish enough to get involved in lovers' quarrels or domestic disputes...
Martha:
I'm not like that, but...Artemis!
Your love is a bit too aggressive!
Martha:
First of all, love should be tender, even when you're hurting your beloved.
Martha:
No matter how fiendish, devilish, demonic, or even...um, ursine your partner is—
Martha:
I can say with certainty that unrequited love is no good!
Artemis:
It's not unrequited! We are very much in love!
Orion:
I'm actually a little hurt to be called fiendish, devilish, and demonic.
Martha:
No. If it truly was a mutual love, no married man would so casually hit on another woman.
Martha:
Even if Orion is guilty, I can see that Artemis also has need for improvement and reform.
Martha:
I do not intend to criticize the ways of the Greeks, but I am called the patron saint of wives!
Martha:
Artemis and Orion! I shall correct your twisted, unrequited love with my holy fists!
Fujimaru 1:
This is going to hurt...
Fujimaru 2:
Head trauma, here I come...
Martha:
Well, yes, I'm afraid that's the plan! Don't worry.
I will make sure not to hurt you much, Fujimaru!
--BATTLE--:
Artemis:
Ungh... She's tough! Darling, were you holding back!?
Orion:
'Course not! I always take battle seriously!
Martha:
Mnnngh...as obsessive and unhealthy as it is, love is still love...I suppose.
Martha:
And based on Orion's behavior, it doesn't seem like it is completely unrequited love...
Artemis:
That's right! Our love is mutual... It is!
Mash:
Mutual love... To think of others, and love others.
Mash:
It doesn't appear that way... No, but maybe...those two seem to have some bizarre sort of love of their own...
Mash:
...Even if they do not follow the same path, or if it's unrequited, as long as they respect one another, that may be fine...
Martha:
...Well, there are indeed very dangerous unrequited affections in this world...
Mash:
And yet... I suppose...
Martha:
...Either way, I seem to have jumped to conclusions. One cannot say that just understanding each other can be called love.
Martha:
I'm sorry, Artemis. And Bearion.
Martha:
No matter what form it takes, love is unchanging, and it is one of the primal emotions. One should love greatly, and so find great happiness.
Artemis:
Our beliefs may differ, but love is the same all around! Orion, let's love each other to the fullest!
Mash:
...Oh?
Artemis:
Huh? I thought my head felt light. Darling's gone.
Fujimaru 1:
He sneaked away a minute ago.
Artemis:
...
Artemis:
Daaarrrliiing!!!
--ARROW--:
Orion:
Fwahahahahaha!
Orion:
I don't know how or where I escaped to, but looks like I ended up in a different world!
Orion:
What should I do? It'll be scary if I get found now. Maybe I should hide out here for a couple of days until things cool down.
???:
Oh? Oh my, oh my.
A guest. It's a guest! And it's a bear!
???:
Oh, sir! Are you the one she's been waiting for?
Orion:
Not sure what you're talking about, but sure!
???:
I see. Then we need to have a wedding!
Orion:
Uh, actually, wrong person!
I mean, wrong bear!
???:
It's a wedding! The entire country is going to party!
The princess will surely be pleased!
???:
Her prince has come back!
Orion:
Time to be a sneaky bear...
???:
No! You can't run away! (Grab)
Orion:
Gyaaah! Let go! You got the wrong bear!
Orion:
Nothing good can come of me posing as a prince in a fairytale place like this!
???:
Don't be so naughty!
???:
A bad prince like you...needs to turn into a ■■■!
???:
This curse won't break until the princess kisses you!
Orion:
...What the heck!?
Artemis:
Here! I've got darling's scent!
Fujimaru 1:
...I'm exhausted.
Mash:
You really are getting dragged around the world.
Mash:
Where could Orion have fled to so quickly?
Fujimaru 2:
You mean...the scent of your prey?
Mash:
Master's burn doesn't have the usual sting...
Maybe because jet lag has [♂ him /♀️ her} worn out?
Artemis:
What a cute town...
Artemis:
After our golden anniversary celebration, I would love to live in a home like this!
Artemis:
Master, since you saved the world, I want you to find a nice property for me!
Artemis:
And I want you to live nearby, so we can be neighbors!
Artemis:
You know, it's important to have good neighbors!
Mash:
Good neighbors...
Artemis:
Now all I need is my darling...
???:
Oh? Oh my, oh my.
There are so many visitors today!
???:
I'm so happy. Adults and children both are welcome in the Land of Sweets!
???:
Why? Because I can just turn the adults into children, and then it's fine!
Mash:
Nursery Rhyme...!
Artemis:
Oh my, you are a cutie.
But... I'm sorry, my heart belongs only to my darling!
Artemis:
But that strange fate of yours, make sure you treasure it, okay?
Artemis:
Anyway, have you seen my darling?
Nursery Rhyme:
Darling...?
Fujimaru 1:
The talking stuffed bear.
Nursery Rhyme:
Oh no... You can't! That prince bear is the princess's!
Artemis:
...What did you just say?
Nursery Rhyme:
The prince has finally come home to his sweet princess!
Nursery Rhyme:
And we're going to hold a grand wedding party to celebrate! You can't steal someone's true love in a fairytale!
Artemis:
...Oh? Uh-huuuh...
Artemis:
Hey Master. Sounds like my darling is at the princess's place.
Artemis:
How strange. If he's not here, where could he be?
Mash:
M-Master...this is bad! This is very bad!
Mash:
I'm afraid the Land of Sweets is going to be set on fire, melting the chocolates and candies... Even the cakes will get charred!
Fujimaru 1:
Calm down!
Artemis:
It's fine. I am calm.
But I will never forgive Orion.
Artemis:
A grand party with a princess...
This isn't an affair... This is the real deal!
Artemis:
This was supposed to be a happy golden anniversary celebration...but to learn that he's in another serious relationship...! Orion, you dummy!
Nursery Rhyme:
Protect the Land of Sweets, everyone!
Mash:
I'm not sure if they're enemies...but let's ready for battle, Master!
--BATTLE--:
Nursery Rhyme:
Kyuuu. I'm dizzy...
Mash:
Poor Nursery Rhyme is down!
Artemis:
I will not allow my darling to get married! I'll capture that bear and take him to file divorce papers right away!
Artemis:
Oh, and Master, use your authority to annul the marriage! That way, he won't be a divorcé!
Artemis:
Darling, where are you!?
Brynhild:
Um... Excuse me... Are you perhaps looking for a bear?
Mash:
Brynhild!?
Artemis:
Are you the homewrecker!?
Brynhild:
Please, no... It is not what you think...
Brynhild:
...I wanted to return him to you.
Artemis:
...Come again?
Artemis:
Darling! No... Look at you...!
Mash:
(I thought I saw a similar-looking chocolate during last year's Valentine's Day...)
Fujimaru 1:
He's mouthing something...
Fujimaru 2:
“Help...”
Brynhild:
Um... I was searching for Sigurd...
Brynhild:
Nursery brought this bear thinking he was Sigurd...
Brynhild:
Even when I said he wasn't, she wouldn't listen. She said, “He may be a chocolate bear right now, but he'll turn into Sigurd when the curse is lifted.”
Brynhild:
And so I was a little flustered.
Fujimaru 1:
Is there a way to lift the chocolate curse?
Brynhild:
Yes... According to Nursery...
Nursery Rhyme:
You KISS him!!!
Fujimaru 1:
You what, now?
Mash:
What!?
Artemis:
Kiss!?
Nursery Rhyme:
Yes, that's right. Kissing him will lift the chocolate curse!
Nursery Rhyme:
His bear curse may also get lifted, but I'm not sure, since that's not my specialty!
Mash:
I see...
Mash:
So that's why Brynhild was flustered... She was afraid that whoever could lift the curse wouldn't show up if she left.
Brynhild:
Yes, I was at a loss.
Brynhild:
This bear is not Sigurd, but there is no doubt he is a hero.
Brynhild:
No matter what form he'd taken, as a former Valkyrie,
I didn't feel right abandoning him...
Artemis:
...
Artemis:
Hey Master, why do you think darling tries to escape?
Artemis:
Weddings, golden anniversary celebrations... They don't really matter to me... Well, I might not go that far.
Artemis:
But as long as my darling just stays with me... As long as he and I can live together forever, for eternity...
Artemis:
That's all I really need.
Fujimaru 1:
He's scared he'll start to hate you.
Artemis:
Scared...that he'll hate me?
Brynhild:
...That may be correct.
Brynhild:
No matter how intimate a man and woman might be, if they are together for long enough, they may end up killing each other.
Brynhild:
That is not because of pure hatred, but hatred that stems from love.
Brynhild:
The more one loves, the stronger their wish not to detest or be detested becomes.
Brynhild:
Human emotion is not something that is constant...
But it shines all the brighter for it.
Fujimaru 2:
He loves, therefore he wants to be pursued.
Nursery Rhyme:
I know! I know!
Nursery Rhyme:
The prince falls for Cinderella when she flees!
Nursery Rhyme:
That bear flees from you because he wants you to always feel excited!
Nursery Rhyme:
Because eternity is too boring!
Nursery Rhyme:
When you're super bored, you might start hating the person you're with!
Nursery Rhyme:
That's why you flee! The chase keeps you interested in the other person!
Artemis:
...I see. So that's how human emotions work.
Artemis:
As a Divine Spirit, that kind of thinking is incomprehensible to me. I can't imagine eternity being...uncertain...
Brynhild:
...True, it may not be something you can comprehend.
I really only understand it in theory.
Artemis:
Eternity is boring... So you say.
Artemis:
Aw, my darling is impossible! He wants me to keep loving him by making me so anxious!
Artemis:
Fine. If that's what he wants, I'll chase after him for eternity!
Artemis:
As long as my heart swells from the occasional, whimsical kindness from him, I will go absolutely crazy for my darling!
Artemis:
Yes, yes, my Maiden Circuits are in overdrive! Now, my darling! I shall lift your dreadful chocolate curse!
Orion:
Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Artemis:
Good morning, my darling!
Orion:
Eh? Huh? I thought I was chocolate...
Orion:
Ack! Artemis!? I-I'm sorry I ran away!
It was just a spur of the moment thing! I swear!
Artemis:
...Yep! It's fine, my darling. I forgive you!
Orion:
Eh, seriously!?
Orion:
Normally this kind of offense would result in you reducing me to my constituent atoms!
Orion:
Wait, did I end up in a parallel world? Is this for real?
Oh, no, I'm in a world that's gonna get pruned, aren't I!?
Orion:
Oh, but if it's a parallel world...
Artemis:
Come, my darling. Let's continue our golden anniversary celebration!
Artemis:
Where shall we go next? It is a golden anniversary, so maybe the Temple of the Golden Pavilion in Japan?
Artemis:
Or perhaps the Golden Gate Bridge?
Artemis:
Anywhere is fine. As long as I'm with my darling, it will be wonderful!
Orion:
Why hello there, delicate-looking girl.
I don't see much of your type in Greece.
Orion:
How would you like to escape into a love adventure, hmm?
Brynhild:
Um... I can't... My lance will become lighter and lighter...
Brynhild:
It could even float up and away like a balloon...
Orion:
Wha–whoa!?
Artemis:
Okay, my darling.
Artemis:
Let's go get you set on fire at the Temple of the Golden Pavilion. It's fine, you'll burn well!
Artemis:
Or the Golden Gate Bridge is fine too.
You can bungee jump without a rope!
Orion:
Well, I guess that's one way to go...
Orion:
...What the heck am I making clever commentary for!? Aaand Artemis is just her usual self!
Orion:
HEEELLLP MEEE!!!
Mash:
...Master, do you have any closing remarks?
Fujimaru 1:
Love takes so many forms!
Brynhild:
That wasn't...much of a closing remark...
Fujimaru 2:
Love is scary!
Ibaraki-Douji:
That's my line.