Quetzalcoatl
The Flaming Luchadora and the Three Deathmatches
Mash:
Excuse me, Senpai!
I just heard a loud sound!
Quetzalcoatl:
Buenos días, Mash! ¿Que pasó?
You look so frightened, yes!
Mash:
Um...nothing...
I should actually be asking you that...
Mash:
...Wait a minute! Senpai and Quetzalcoatl are entangled in a very questionable position!
Mash:
Quetzalcoatl's legs are wrapped around Senpai's head... Wh-what is going on!?
Fujimaru 1:
What do you mean?
Fujimaru 2:
You see...
Quetzalcoatl:
This is a lesson, yes!
Quetzalcoatl:
This is called an Huracarrana! It is a move where a wrestler cradles the opponent's head with their thighs and flips around using their momentum...
Quetzalcoatl:
The goal is to slam the opponent to the mat to get a fall. It's a very popular lucha libre move, yes!
Fujimaru 1:
And there you have it!
Fujimaru 2:
Yep...help!
Mash:
I see. I think I understand the situation now!
But please stop, Quetzalcoatl!
Mash:
Should you actually use that move on Senpai,
[♂ he /♀️ she} will be seeing stars for the rest of the day!
Quetzalcoatl:
No problema!
I've taught Fujimaru the basics of breaking a fall!
Quetzalcoatl:
[♂ He /♀️ She} is likely to bounce off the ring after hitting the mat, but it should be okay as long as [♂ he /♀️ she} grabs the rope at the right moment!
Fujimaru 1:
Hahaha, that's impossible, no!
Fujimaru 2:
I'm about to lose consciousness already, yes!
Mash:
Yes, please stop, Quetzalcoatl!
Senpai seems to be trying to talk!
Quetzalcoatl:
...I didn't realize.
Lo siento, Master...
Quetzalcoatl:
When I heard that preparations for battle were complete, I thought that meant it was time for a match! Soy una mala diosa...
Fujimaru 1:
Another second and I'd have fallen into Kur!
Fujimaru 2:
I wasn't as careful with my words as I should have been...
Mash:
Quetzalcoatl looks a bit down...
Mash:
You just told her the simulator was ready, right, Senpai?
Mash:
But didn't you have a match recently, Quetzalcoatl?
Mash:
I thought you said seeing Medb's flying kicks made you want to face off with a striker...
Quetzalcoatl:
She has some nice moves, but the moment it turns into close combat, is not so flashy, no...
Quetzalcoatl:
It's basically judo. Once you get caught in a grapple, you can't get away...
Quetzalcoatl:
...But she's not so strong, so I can just toss her around after I slip her hold without even trying...
Quetzalcoatl:
And that's no fun...
Quetzalcoatl:
I want an aerial throw that sends someone flying, yes! I want lucha that excites an audience! ¡Muy emocionante!
Quetzalcoatl:
(Sigh)... I want to fight more! I want to use my wrestling moves on others, and to have them use wrestling moves on me, yes!
Mash:
...I understand. But I'd rather you not crush Senpai's spine or ribs...
Quetzalcoatl:
Of course not. I will handle Master as gently as an egg! I haven't hurt you yet, have I?
Fujimaru 1:
You're right...it doesn't hurt that much!
Fujimaru 2:
Wait... What do you mean “yet”?
Quetzalcoatl:
Eh...? Did it hurt? Lo siento...
Maybe I overdid it...yes...
Mash:
Quetzalcoatl, I think you need to get a better feel for your own strength.
Mash:
You are definitely more intellectual and dependable than the other goddess Servants...
Mash:
But you also seem to be a lot more...human...
Quetzalcoatl:
¡Ah, entendida!
Quetzalcoatl:
Teehee, naughty Mash. You don't like that I'm taking up so much of Master's time!
Quetzalcoatl:
Then let's practice lucha moves on Master together!
¡Será divertido!
Mash:
I-I... That's not what I meant! But...let's stop doing wrestling moves on Senpai entirely...
Mash:
But now that you mention it, I have an idea.
Give me some time to prepare. Please stay there...
Mash:
Actually, please keep your distance from Master! I've rung the bell! The match is over! Do you hear it!?
Quetzalcoatl:
¡Que linda! She's in such a hurry for me!
Mash is always so energetic!
Quetzalcoatl:
I do not know what she is going to do, no, but I bet it is safe to say I should look forward to it, sí, Master?
Fujimaru 1:
Yep. That's what makes Mash great.
Quetzalcoatl:
Yes, yes! She puts so much effort into things she does for other people, rather than her own desires. That is the mark of a great person!
Quetzalcoatl:
Sometimes it may be in vain, and it may even be a weakness occasionally, but that is exactly the sort of thing we have been hoping for all this time.
Fujimaru 2:
You're cute too, Quetz.
Quetzalcoatl:
Th-that is a sudden change of subject!
You're making big sister blush, yes!
Quetzalcoatl:
I'm used to being called beautiful, but cute...
Well, that tickles me a little!
Quetzalcoatl:
So, this is where Mash wanted us to go.
Let's see what she has planned.
Martha:
So my opponent has finally come.
I'd say she's in the heavyweight class, perhaps?
Fujimaru 1:
Eh? What's going on?
Mash:
I asked for her help.
Mash:
Since Quetzalcoatl is so frustrated, I arranged for her to fight three martial artists here.
Mash:
It will be a mixed martial arts match,
and while I couldn't prepare a proper ring...
Mash:
...I'm sure these matches will satisfy her.
Mash:
As presumptuous as it is, I, Mash Kyrielight,
shall be the referee for the matches.
Quetzalcoatl:
I see. So Señorita Martha is going to be my first opponent.
Quetzalcoatl:
I can see that her Spirit Origin is sturdy like iron, yes! I won't need to hold back at all! And a saintly wrestler is such a great personaje!
Martha:
I am honored to hear that you consider me a formidable opponent.
Martha:
I may possess the great Jacob's fists, but there is definitely still room for me to grow.
Martha:
I'd like to see how my fists match up against the great Mayan goddess in this match.
Quetzalcoatl:
Oooh, she is up to the challenge, yes...
Are you perhaps a ruda, Martha...?
Quetzalcoatl:
Well, everything is fine as long as we have fun,
yes? I am confident I can take a hit myself!
Quetzalcoatl:
Please don't hold back, Martha.
Let us both go all-out.
Holmes:
By the way, I will serve as commentator.
Holmes:
Whose moves will reign supreme...? Will it be fists or twists? These questions have always intrigued me, and have been my life's pursuit for so long now.
Quetzalcoatl:
Oh, the professor who's been holed up in the warehouse, yes? A commentator! Mash thought of everything!
Quetzalcoatl:
But I'm sorry...I've sealed away my llave moves. After all, jumping moves are what makes Lucha Libre so great.
Martha:
...Are you saying you're not even going to use your signature move? You're not taking me very seriously, are you?
Martha:
Fine. I won’t hold back! I'll even use my Tarasque. And if I throw you out, I can use weapons, right?
Holmes:
I'm still quite new as far as learning all the other Servants' quirks, but is Miss Martha always like this?
Holmes:
For a Ruler, she doesn't seem to be all that concerned with the rules.
Quetzalcoatl:
No, no, ringside battles are a highlight of lucha!
I knew Martha was a ruda!
Quetzalcoatl:
But don't you worry, Master.
Quetzalcoatl:
I may not have a shell, but I have wings. No matter who my común is, I won't go down easy, no!
--BATTLE--:
Holmes:
This has turned into quite the intense brawl.
Miss Martha seems to have landed more punches.
Holmes:
And they are no mere jabs. Any ordinary Servant would have gone down in short order.
Holmes:
One might say that while she has a rather slender Spirit Origin, she hides the power of a freight train in those arms of hers.
Holmes:
And what stamina! Even the rhythm of her breathing sounds like the roaring of a dynamo!
Fujimaru 1:
But Quetzalcoatl isn't backing down either.
Holmes:
Right you are. Ah, take a look.
Miss Martha is finally getting in position.
Martha:
All that pounding and I still haven't been able to bring this to an end. Time to use my trump card!
Holmes:
That stance... She's readying the fist of justice, inverted thrust...Jacob's Perishing Fist.
Fujimaru 1:
Jacob's Perishing Fist!?
Fujimaru 2:
What are you talking about, Holmes!?
Holmes:
Quiet. The real battle starts now.
It would be a shame to miss even a single second!
Holmes:
The Jacob's Limbs style is said to be able to defeat even an archangel. It's specialized for use against a target with Divinity...like Quetzalcoatl.
Holmes:
And behold that stance, Fujimaru. She's putting everything into that strike, and so leaving herself wide open!
Holmes:
Should it hit head-on, there will be consequences.
For both parties, that is.
Martha:
My stomach's going to be wide-open for you.
In exchange–
Martha:
I'm going to shoot that jaw of yours all the way to Marseille!
Quetzalcoatl:
¡Olé! I've been waiting for that one hit!
Martha:
...What!? It's not...working!?
Fujimaru 1:
Um...she took it straight on the chin...
Holmes:
It's an evasive maneuver. The instant that fist touches her face, she turns her head to avoid injury.
Holmes:
Of course, it's easier said than done, and it's not something just anyone can do. But, she's managed to pull of that miraculous feat!
Quetzalcoatl:
I will not knee your stomach, no! Rather, I'm going to take this extended arm of yours, yes!
Holmes:
What a perfect armlock.
That should determine our victor here!
Martha:
Why...you... Let go...
Mash:
Tres! Dos! Uno! Ding ding ding!
And the winner is: Quetzalcoatl!
Martha:
O Jacob, O Moses...I'm terribly sorry.
I have suffered utter defeat...
Quetzalcoatl:
Martha, you were a wonderful opponent. Especially that last puñetazo...I thought I was going to pass out.
Quetzalcoatl:
I'm sure you wouldn't have stopped even if I kicked your stomach.
Quetzalcoatl:
You forced me to use the llave that I had originally sealed off.
Martha:
I never imagined you wouldn't try to evade my fist. I'm not making excuses for myself, but I flinched a little.
Quetzalcoatl:
And that was the reason for your defeat!
A luchadora does not even think of evading!
Quetzalcoatl:
A lucha match is all about lifting the opponent up. That's why I took your hit. You just didn't know that.
Quetzalcoatl:
If you had known, you would have continued into a clinch hold, yes?
Quetzalcoatl:
Had that happened, I don't know how the match would have gone.
Martha:
...I see.
Way to go. You completely defeated me.
Martha:
We may be from different worlds, but it's clear to me that you are a divine spirit of good. I've not a single ounce of resentment towards you.
Martha:
Let's fight in a proper ring next time.
I shall study up on lucha a bit more until then.
Quetzalcoatl:
¡De nada!
I shall look forward to that time, yes!
--ARROW--:
Holmes:
Miss Quetzalcoatl took the first round. But will she be able to pull it off with her next opponent?
C：???:
It looks like it's my turn.
Woo, woo!
Quetzalcoatl:
Whoa, it's an all-black monster, yes! What happened? Did you stay out in the sun too long and get burnt?
C：???:
Yeah, well, I've got my reasons. I'm really not supposed to reveal my True Name all willy-nilly.
C：???:
Think of me as...uh, the man of two thousand faces or somethin'... How 'bout you just call me Dos Mil Máscaras?
Fujimaru 1:
Um, you've got a bunch of things all jumbled up!
Dos Mil Máscaras:
Course I do. I'm that kinda guy.
I've even lost count of how many faces I have.
Fujimaru 2:
So, from the name, shouldn't you be wearing a mask or something?
Dos Mil Máscaras:
Oh, I'm wearing a mask. You just can't see it because I'm silhouetted. You just don't get it, Master.
Mash:
I figured he would be able to hold his ground even against Quetzalcoatl's aerial killer move.
Mash:
And if we are to follow the tradition of Lucha Libre, we definitely need a rudo.
Quetzalcoatl:
I'd actually expected Jaguar to show up as our ruda...
Quetzalcoatl:
But fine! Let's do this!
That move you just showed, Señor Dos Mil Máscaras...
Quetzalcoatl:
I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy a stimulating aerial battle against you!
Dos Mil Máscaras:
Well, this is what I was hired to do,
so I won't disappoint!
Dos Mil Máscaras:
But are you really okay with this?
Shouldn't I be the worst sort of opponent for you?
Fujimaru 1:
Maybe in terms of class affinity!
Quetzalcoatl:
Yes. But what about it?
Quetzalcoatl:
Even if she's injured, a luchadora must project grace and power before her fans, yes!
Quetzalcoatl:
I won't go down easy, no matter what class you are! I'll prove that right now!
Quetzalcoatl:
And know that a luchadora is at her most terrifying on the brink of being knocked down!
Dos Mil Máscaras:
Hah! Loving that confidence!
Then I'll kick your ass, as requested!
Dos Mil Máscaras:
Will you be able to keep up with my awesome moves?
--BATTLE--:
Holmes:
Hm. This has turned into quite the aerial battle,
but it appears Dos Mil Máscaras has the upper hand.
Fujimaru 1:
Are Quetzalcoatl's moves not working?
Holmes:
Her moves are pretty flashy and nothing else. An expert martial artist like Dos Mil Máscaras can evade her easily.
Holmes:
On the other hand, he's definitely hurting Miss Quetzalcoatl with his moves.
Holmes:
Seems he has studied Baritsu. His moves are nimble,
and he's definitely hitting the vital spots.
Dos Mil Máscaras:
(Hey, hey, hey...I'm hitting all the right spots!
So why isn't this lady going down!?)
Dos Mil Máscaras:
(Actually, that last move definitely hit her! But she just gets back up. But what's more important...)
Dos Mil Máscaras:
(That's insane! Totally insane! The way the air bounces back up is surreal! Is she the Pagoda-Bearing Heavenly King or what!?)
Dos Mil Máscaras:
(She's like a giant mountain! If that muscle monster gets her hands on me, she'll crush my very soul to pieces, to say nothing of my Spirit Origin!)
Quetzalcoatl:
You're looking nervous, Máscara. I'll take this opportunity to answer your question.
Quetzalcoatl:
Your attacks are effective, efficient, and very painful, yes! But the pain is still tolerable.
Quetzalcoatl:
Why? Because...!
Quetzalcoatl:
The limpio would never let the rudo's attacks defeat them, no! Instead, the more I get hit, the more fired up I get, yes!
Quetzalcoatl:
So brace yourself, yes! I'm going to use my ultimate attack: my Xiuhcoatl Driver–
Dos Mil Máscaras:
Uh, I'd rather you not do that.
I give up! I give up!
Mash:
Does that mean you're throwing in the towel?
Dos Mil Máscaras:
Yep. This is not worth getting turned into a greasy smear on the floor.
Dos Mil Máscaras:
I kinda half-assed taking this job. If it was a life-and-death sort of fight, I'd have asked for a lot more money to do it.
Dos Mil Máscaras:
So, you win, since you took everything I had without going down. You good with that, Miss Lucha?
Dos Mil Máscaras:
If the opponent admits defeat, that's the end of the match. Isn't that the best bit of pro wrestling?
Quetzalcoatl:
That is correct, yes!
I feel like you and I will get along fine, yes!
Quetzalcoatl:
...So I am a little disappointed. If we ever get to meet again, I'd like to see the face behind your mask!
Quetzalcoatl:
Because if you stick to being shy,
you might just lose your heart. ¿Entendido?
Dos Mil Máscaras:
Ha. Thanks for that warning.
I'd...uh...rather not ever meet you again...
Dos Mil Máscaras:
But the world of lucha libre is pretty deep. Maybe it's time I took an interest in a different martial art...
--ARROW--:
Quetzalcoatl:
Whew. Both rounds were fun, yes!
Quetzalcoatl:
An orthodox fighter and a flying rudo. I very much enjoyed it. So who is my final opponent?
C：???:
Sorry to make you wait.
Your final opponent will be me, Mask de Baritsu.
Fujimaru 1:
I've never seen that Heroic Spirit...
Fujimaru 2:
Okay, just how much is that mask getting passed around?
Quetzalcoatl:
Ah, a masked wrestler is also one of the highlights of Lucha Libre! He will be quite a formidable end to this three-round match, yes!
Mask de Baritsu:
My observations are complete. I can see that your body is positively riddled with wounds from the previous matches, and that you are running low on stamina.
Mask de Baritsu:
While I am a gentleman who prefers to play fair, I am not always able to do so. I only engage in battle when I have a significant advantage over my opponent.
Fujimaru 1:
Well, THAT is a terrible thing to say...
Fujimaru 2:
Impressive, Baritsu Mask. That's smart.
Mask de Baritsu:
Indeed. By the way, my Baritsu is a well-rounded mix of strikes, throws, and holds. It's the ultimate self-defense martial art.
Mask de Baritsu:
You have no chance of winning.
Would you like to withdraw?
Quetzalcoatl:
Your concern is unnecessary, Baritsu Mask.
Quetzalcoatl:
Fatigue and injury are everyday things for a luchadora! And actually, I'm in top condition right now, yes!
Mask de Baritsu:
I was hoping for that response.
Then let us begin our match, Miss Quetzalcoatl.
Mask de Baritsu:
But...why are you and Master not calling me by my proper nom de guerre?
--BATTLE--:
Quetzalcoatl:
You're open, Baritsu!
Mask de Baritsu:
Heh...do you really think so?
(And why is she STILL not using my nom de guerre?)
Quetzalcoatl:
Guh...
Mask de Baritsu:
I have targeted your arm now. Time to surrender. I regret to inform you that victory is now quite beyond your reach as matters stand.
Quetzalcoatl:
...Do you know why there are so many flashy moves in Lucha Libre?
Mask de Baritsu:
No...I cannot say I have given it any thought. They are likely just inefficient skills meant for nothing so much as pure showmanship.
Quetzalcoatl:
No! They are for the audience, and for your opponent, with whom you share a deep mutual trust!
Quetzalcoatl:
If you are seeking efficiency in battle,
then you should head to war!
Quetzalcoatl:
A battle without cheers or lights...a battlefield that is utterly lonely!
Mask de Baritsu:
Cheers? Do those really matter for battle?
Quetzalcoatl:
Of course!
That's why, Master, I ask you to cheer for me!
Fujimaru 1:
¡Olé! Go, lucha master!
Quetzalcoatl:
Mucho mucho! That has given me the strength of a hundred luchadoras! Hiyaaah!
Mask de Baritsu:
(She jumped straight up to break my joint lock... What incredible pain tolerance. Or rather, is this the vaunted endurance that every wrestler possesses?)
Mask de Baritsu:
This is no time to admire her moves!
Ugh, I can't keep my balance! Or my mask!
Quetzalcoatl:
Sorry. Any máscara that falls off so easily is no match for me!
Quetzalcoatl:
If you are a true wrestler, you need to be more fashion-conscious! And here we go...! La Mística!!!
D：Mask de Baritsu:
(What is this move...!?
What is going on!?)
D：Mask de Baritsu:
(Spinning...am I spinning? Really?
How are we spinning THIS much!?)
D：Mask de Baritsu:
(After six full spins, the inner ear simply goes haywire, and it becomes impossible to take an attack. And yet...we're still spinning?)
D：Mask de Baritsu:
(Are we in...space? I can see space...I don't recall...taking my medicines...this morning...)
D：Mask de Baritsu:
(There's no need for careful examination to know what's happening here! I'm doomed!)
D：Mask de Baritsu:
(Tap, tap)
Mash:
Holmes has tapped out!
Quetzalcoatl, please cancel your drop!
Mash:
Quetzalcoatl is the winner!
Quetzalcoatl:
Aw. Then there won't be a head-first drop, no...
Mask de Baritsu:
...Whew. Cervical spine annihilation avoided.
Quetzalcoatl:
Yes. You were spared because you tapped so early.
Quetzalcoatl:
You should be grateful that I am so precise in executing my moves, yes. For any other wrestler, we were beyond the point of no return!
Mask de Baritsu:
Probably. I'm surprised I lived. I'm actually more frightened that you have the muscles to stop that move than the muscles needed to do it in the first place.
Quetzalcoatl:
Of course. I told you. Luchadoras perform their moves with utmost consideration for their partners!
Quetzalcoatl:
Stopping a move midway through is just common courtesy. But I suspect you could have fought more!
Mask de Baritsu:
I had every intention of doing so. The spirit is willing, but the body...not so much.
Fujimaru 1:
What do you mean?
Mask de Baritsu:
The move was surreal. It was so intense, but at the same time, my heart was pounding with excitement.
Mask de Baritsu:
Excited that the move was terrible...and intriguing at the same time. The moment I had that thought, my body tapped out quite of its own accord.
Mask de Baritsu:
I have the confidence to meet any malevolent attack directly, but it appears my self-defense skills cannot handle moves made with kind intentions.
Quetzalcoatl:
Heehee. You speak too highly of it.
I just didn't have the strength to make it hurt.
Mask de Baritsu:
I withdraw what I said about your moves being just for show. It reminds me of a Japanese sword form called kassatsuken, where one imbues their sword with life and death for their battle.
Mask de Baritsu:
One permits their opponent to live, even after defeating them. I had always found this contradictory, but...I understand now.
Mask de Baritsu:
Strength is not simply a matter of defeating your opponent.
Quetzalcoatl:
Yes, your moves were also very strong, Baritsu Mask. But you seem to be very fragile. You need to eat better so your bones will be sturdy, yes!
Mask de Baritsu:
I'll take your word for it.
Mask de Baritsu:
...Your technique is a sort I would never employ, but I would still like to show my respect to you, who has so mastered lucha.
Mask de Baritsu:
Adiós, Miss Quetzalcoatl. Should we have the opportunity, I would like to meet again.
Mask de Baritsu:
But...why will no one properly use my nom de guerre?
Quetzalcoatl:
Whew. So this is the end...
Fujimaru 1:
You're all beat up...
Quetzalcoatl:
Oh? Are you worried about me? No te preocupes.
I'm feeling very good right now, yes.
Quetzalcoatl:
I have that pleasant sort of fatigue you get after hard work! Also the satisfaction that I was able to express myself to and understand others through lucha!
Quetzalcoatl:
And because I was able to experience that, I am here, smiling with you now.
Quetzalcoatl:
I can do that not as the goddess of war who takes life, but as a goddess of wisdom and fertility who looks toward the future.
Fujimaru 1:
Yep. I know.
Fujimaru 2:
Got it. Let's do this again sometime.
Quetzalcoatl:
...Teehee. Gracias, Master.
Quetzalcoatl:
Ahhh! I don't have the strength to even get up, no! Master, please give me your hand!
Mash:
Looks like Quetzalcoatl is satisfied.
Now Senpai can train in peace this afterno–
Mash:
Oh! You shouldn't, Senpai...Quetzalcoatl is still...!
Fujimaru 1:
Gaaaaaaaaahhh!?
Fujimaru 2:
Aaaaaaaaaaaahhh!?
Quetzalcoatl:
Ah-ha! You fell for it!
I am still bursting with energy, yes!
Quetzalcoatl:
And llave moves are very profound! Please enjoy the move where, the more you squirm, the more tightly wound up you get♡
Mash:
...If I had known how things would have turned out, I would have asked for five matches. Now I understand why the chains are necessary.
Mash:
To restrain Quetzalcoatl,
we really do need lots of chains...
Quetzalcoatl:
Yes!
That is nowhere near enough chains to restrain me!
Quetzalcoatl:
Come on, Master. Flail, flail!
Mucho, mucho!