Scáthach
Kill Me If You Can
Scáthach:
...Now then. Are you ready, Cú Chulainn?
Cú Chulainn:
Ready or not. You haven't told me why I was summoned, but... Well, I have some idea.
Scáthach:
Hmm, being summoned like this must be fate. First off, I'd like you to try and finish me.
Cú Chulainn:
Uh, right. I just need to pierce through your heart or head with impeccable technique and coordination, right?
Mash:
No! Wouldn't that just kill her?
Um, we'd like you to not try and kill each other!
Cú Chulainn:
That's impossible, little girl.
At this point, nothing's going to stop her.
Mash:
S-Senpai, what should we do...
Fujimaru 1:
I'd like the two of you to stop.
Scáthach:
No, please don't stop me, Master.
This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Fujimaru 2:
Why do you want to die?
Scáthach:
Well, that's because living makes me long for death... A satisfactory death from the ultimate thrust.
Scáthach:
I know it's too much too ask for and an annoyance. But this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Scáthach:
I have a body which seeks but is denied death, a mere ghost who's burned onto the world.
Scáthach:
However, with this world incinerated, the Land of Shadows is no more. That's why I can be summoned as a Heroic Spirit.
Scáthach:
To fight as a warrior, to lose my life if defeated—
A chance to live like a proper person.
Scáthach:
Then it's only natural wanting to try it, no?
Assuming there's a warrior greater than me.
Scáthach:
Well, Cú Chulainn?
Have you improved a bit since that time?
Scáthach:
Since I couldn't leave the Land of Shadows, my only way to make sure was through my messengers.
Cú Chulainn:
Yes, a bit. Stand back, Fujimaru.
A spear tip is more suitable for her than words.
Cú Chulainn:
...Dammit. Sending clueless kids as messengers.
What kind of bad joke is that?
Cú Chulainn:
You are immortal physically, but your soul is dead. You're wise, but what you are is no different than a hellish fiend.
Cú Chulainn:
Now that very soul has materialized in this world, then I guess it's the pupil's job to finish his mentor off.
Scáthach:
Yes. Now then, Child of Light.
Try to kill me for good this time.
Cú Chulainn:
Leave it to me. My spear can reverse causality, and it never misses its prey.
Cú Chulainn:
—Here we go, Scáthach.
That heart will be mine—!
Scáthach:
Well said! My pupil, the moment that red spear pierces my chest–
Scáthach:
Oh, I have longed for such a moment...
as I was frozen in the depths of eternity!
Cú Chulainn:
Sorry. I messed up.
Scáthach:
Foolish pupil—!
Why did your spear have to miss, now of all times!
Dr. Roman:
Amazing... Gáe Bolg's tip flew way off into the horizon...
Mash:
Yes, it even seems to have left a contrail. It must have hit Mach speed.
Dr. Roman:
I see. Because it couldn't see Scáthach being dead in her fate, so it turned into a wild throw like that.
Scáthach:
...Ah. Is that what it is?
So my foolish pupil did not go easy on me then.
Scáthach:
Still! Come on, Sétanta! What's with you!?
Scáthach:
You've gotten worse since your time in the Land of Shadows! You're like a squirrel! Been slacking off on your training?
Cú Chulainn:
Yeah yeah, I know, I know... I am weaker than before.
Cú Chulainn:
I mean, half of my strength is missing.
I don't really know why, but I am just not in my prime.
Scáthach:
What did you say?
Mash:
Oh! Maybe... So when Cú Chulainn appeared as a Caster to help us that one time...
Mash:
His powers got distributed to every Cú Chulainn that existed in each Servant class.
Cú Chulainn:
Ew. I was a Caster somewhere?
Scáthach:
I see. Come to think of it, despite being a natural warrior, his skill with runes was needlessly high...
Scáthach:
Still, you told me something useful, Mash. There's still a chance.
Scáthach:
Cú Chulainn. You will start your training over in that body. Train with a clear mind and you'll regain what you've lost.
Dr. Roman:
A clear mind... So basically not to think about anything?
Cú Chulainn:
...Wait, start over my training?
Scáthach:
Did you hear it any other way, fool? You have the basics. Now you just need combat experience.
Scáthach:
Right, it's decided.
Now then, let's start our journey of training.
Cú Chulainn:
Huh, like right now? Ow! Don't pull the hair on the back of my head! Hey, Pink Hair! Quit laughing and do something!
Mash:
...Th-There they go.
What do we do, Master?
Fujimaru 1:
Let's follow them.
Fujimaru 2:
Let's join them.
Mash:
You're right.
It's our only option. Let's go!
Scáthach:
Okay, we'll start by killing a chimera. Work hard.
Cú Chulainn:
All right, I get it! Quit pulling my hair! ...Dammit. What a pain... But I guess I have to go along with it.
Mash:
Wait, please!
Scáthach:
Oh, you've decided to join our training?
Fujimaru 1:
The more of us, the better our chances.
Scáthach:
...I see.
You're right, we are Servants.
Scáthach:
They say a Servant's power increases more with backup from a Master.
Scáthach:
All right, I'll allow you to participate.
Try to kill the chimera along with Cú Chulainn.
Mash:
Understood!
Let's do our best, Cú Chulainn!
Cú Chulainn:
You sure love to stick your nose into other people's problems, but thanks. I can't shame myself in front of my mentor a second time.
Cú Chulainn:
Let's go, Master!
--BATTLE--:
Scáthach:
A life-or-death situation suits you, Cú Chulainn. Both your eyes are burning brightly, aren't they?
Cú Chulainn:
That battle was intense, how can I not get excited? My love for a good fight has always been a bad habit of mine since childhood.
Scáthach:
Yes. However, your spear lacks precision.
Did you hold back and rely on strength alone because the enemy was weak?
Scáthach:
Didn't I teach you not to swing your spear with strength alone? Your habit of skipping out on lessons was one thing I couldn't fix...
Scáthach:
All right then, we're facing dragons next.
Let's go earn you the title of Dragon Slayer... By killing a hundred of them.
Dr. Roman:
She's as unreasonable as he is!
Mash:
Cú Chulainn, are you alive?
...Which is to say, should we continue?
Cú Chulainn:
Of course we continue. My shoulder is all nice and warmed up. All right, bring on the dragon or whatever you've got!
Scáthach:
Very well.
Let us have at it, my prize pupil!
--BATTLE--:
Cú Chulainn:
Last one.
Here we go– Gáe Bolg!
Cú Chulainn:
Got 'em!
Well? Can't complain about that!
Scáthach:
...
...
Cú Chulainn:
Hello?
Scáthach?
Scáthach:
...No, sorry.
I was remembering you from the past.
Cú Chulainn:
Stop right there before you embarrass me. So, what do you think?
Scáthach:
Hm... I don't know if it's perfect, but it's close. At the very least, not that much different when you were alive.
Cú Chulainn:
Good, now we're talking.
Well, shall we do this?
Mash:
...
Scáthach:
...Yeah, you're right.
To think that kid would be standing before me like this.
Scáthach:
Human life is nothing but wonders. Rather than becoming a god, I would have preferred to associate with you as a human–
Scáthach:
Heh, heh, that too is merely a luxury.
Cú Chulainn:
Something like “He who hunts two hares loses both.”
Scáthach:
Exactly.
Are you ready, Cú Chulainn?
Cú Chulainn:
–Yeah.
Scáthach:
Mash, you two should join, too.
Then we'll be even.
Mash:
Master?
Fujimaru 1:
Gotta do it.
Fujimaru 2:
Brace yourself.
Mash:
Understood.
...Here we go, Scáthach!
Scáthach:
–Come at me!
--BATTLE--:
Scáthach:
Ugh!
Cú Chulainn:
–Gotcha!
Cú Chulainn:
Take this as my parting gift!
Gáe Bolg!
Scáthach:
–Ugh!
Scáthach:
That was your last strike, huh?
Then here goes... Gáe Bolg Alternative!
Cú Chulainn:
Wha...
Scáthach:
Huh?
Cú Chulainn:
...Say, Scáthach.
Looks like you, too...
Scáthach:
Y-Yeah. Looks like...I also have gotten stronger than before.
Scáthach:
...Well, I had a hunch, but it was so fun... At times, killing dragons and giants and monsters...
Cú Chulainn:
Are you even more reckless than me!? Don't you want to die!?
Scáthach:
I-I can't help it! The stronger an enemy, the more I want to see the essence of its strength.
Scáthach:
The stronger they are, the more I respect them, the more I want to cross swords with them!
Scáthach:
It's only natural that I'd end up getting stronger! It's not my fault!
Dr. Roman:
...SIGH. Exactly how much does the Queen of the Land of Shadows love to fight?
Mash:
I-I can't keep up with this inflation. She could at least slow the pace a little...
Cú Chulainn:
It's not something that you can do in a short time.
Scáthach:
You're right.
...No need to rush, is there?
Scáthach:
Cú Chulainn and you, Fujimaru.
The day will surely come when you can kill me.
Scáthach:
Before you save the world,
kill me, if only once.
Scáthach:
That is my wish.
To that abysmal probability, I devote this body.
Cú Chulainn:
Yeah, yeah, I got it. We're stuck together 'till we both die... No, 'till we both kill each other.
Cú Chulainn:
There's still a long way to go. Going along with a woman's selfishness is also a requirement to be a top-tier Master, Fujimaru.
Calls from the Land of Shadows
Mash:
...Master. Master.
Please wake up. Master.
Fujimaru 1:
Huh? What's going on?
Mash:
I'm not sure myself. But we're not in Chaldea, nor any recognizable era.
Mash:
What I do know—
Fujimaru 2:
Where are we...?
Mash:
I'm not sure. What I do know—
Mash:
I'm detecting a great deal of magical energy here. Besides you and me...
Cú Chulainn:
Yo. You guys wandered in here too?
Mash:
Cú Chulainn!
Does that mean...
Cú Chulainn:
Must be Scáthach's doing. We've finally been invited into the Land of Shadows. I apologize on behalf of my mentor, since I'm kind of involved here.
Mash:
There's nothing for you to apologize for...
Oh, so this is the Land of Shadows?
Cú Chulainn:
No, it's slightly different than the place I once visited.
Cú Chulainn:
It's not the Isle of Skye. It's like a remnant of the Land of Shadows when it was still connected to the real world, but it's different somehow.
Cú Chulainn:
The part where the air is filled with frigid magical energy is about right, though.
Cú Chulainn:
...Which means, we were dragged into my mentor's memory, or something like that.
Mash:
Memory?
Cú Chulainn:
I'm not sure if this was deliberate or not, though.
Cú Chulainn:
Either way, even if this is just a memory, the Land of Shadows isn't somewhere we should linger.
Cú Chulainn:
If things go badly, we'll all be swallowed up and die, including Master. The world will end, and we'll all end up in the gutter.
Mash:
No...!
Cú Chulainn:
Eh, don't worry. This is just carelessness on her part.
Cú Chulainn:
It wouldn't have been an issue if it was just me, but I can't let the both of you get sucked into this.
Cú Chulainn:
Which means, we need to exterminate that nuisance of a woman. Let's go take her out!
Mash:
There are dead spirits floating around everywhere...
Cú Chulainn:
The real Land of Shadows was close to the realm of the dead. Don't let them see you. They won't be friendly.
Mash:
O-okay.
Fou:
Fou!
Mash:
...Fou, you're here too!?
Cú Chulainn:
Oh come on, don't shout!
...Oh crap.
Mash:
...They've noticed us.
Cú Chulainn:
...My bad.
Well, we'll just call this more training...or something. Yeah.
Cú Chulainn:
Missy, don't let them take you down!
Mash:
All right!
Master, your orders!
--BATTLE--:
Cú Chulainn:
Whew. You all right?
Mash:
Yes. ...But why would Scáthach lure Master to the Land of Shadows?
Cú Chulainn:
Scáthach is pretty well beyond rational understanding or anything like that.
Cú Chulainn:
From the looks of it, I don't think it's anything serious. She probably got a bit lonely.
Cú Chulainn:
She's been stuck in this land for a few hundred years. There's nobody whom she could fight, let alone hate.
Cú Chulainn:
A long time ago, ambitious fighters like me...
Cú Chulainn:
Came over to challenge the famed Scáthach to gain fame and glory, but she beat the crap out of every single one of us.
Cú Chulainn:
...Aaand then we all ended up as her disciples...
Cú Chulainn:
Well, none of us could live forever.
So this situation might be partly our fault.
Mash:
What do you mean?
Cú Chulainn:
Our mentor trained the crap out of us.
Cú Chulainn:
Every one of us loved women and booze more than anything. We were a bunch of barbarians.
Cú Chulainn:
Scáthach would kick us around for being so rowdy, but it must have been fun for her.
Cú Chulainn:
“The spirits of the dead would miss no chance to infiltrate the real world, but your ruckus has managed to frighten them away.”
Cú Chulainn:
That's what Scáthach would always lament.
Cú Chulainn:
But we all had a place to go home to.
The Land of Shadows was just a stop on our journey.
Cú Chulainn:
And so, Scáthach's disciples all died young.
Cú Chulainn:
...As for me, I turned up as a Heroic Spirit.
Cú Chulainn:
Come to think of it, I guess there was the option where we could have fought Scáthach in the Land of Shadows for eternity.
Cú Chulainn:
But I chose not to. I think she may have resented me for that.
Mash:
...I don't think that's true.
Cú Chulainn:
Maybe. I was just rambling. Ignore me.
Cú Chulainn:
...Whoa, whoa. That's a sight. The castle gates are completely different than I remember.
Cú Chulainn:
There weren't any knights in plate armor standing as gatekeeper, either. Hey Master, give us your orders!
Mash:
Yes, please!
--BATTLE--:
Cú Chulainn:
Got 'em!
Cú Chulainn:
They're easy compared to the Dragonkin we faced last time. Missy, how're you doing?
Mash:
I'm fine!
Cú Chulainn:
Okay, then.
Hey Scáthach! We're coming in!
Cú Chulainn:
We know you're hiding in there!
Brace yourself, we're coming in!
Mash:
...There's no answer.
Cú Chulainn:
Well, we ARE in a memory...
I'm not sure what's going on.
Cú Chulainn:
And this might be late in the game, but in the Land of Shadows, the inside of the castle is far more dangerous than outside.
Cú Chulainn:
Mostly because fearless and clueless ghosts who want to challenge Scáthach are roaming around.
Cú Chulainn:
We have to try to run. But, be prepared to fight.
Okay, run!
Mash:
Master, you run so magnificently!
Fou, hold on tight!
Fou:
Fou!
Fujimaru 1:
I know!
Fujimaru 2:
A bunch of something are behind us!
Mash:
There are three up ahead. We can't evade them.
We're charging in, Master!
--BATTLE--:
Mash:
...!
Mash:
I've detected a strong magical energy reaction.
And this sensation... Is this bloodlust?
Cú Chulainn:
No. At least it's not her bloodlust.
Cú Chulainn:
Then what—
Scáthach:
...So it's you.
Cú Chulainn:
Hey, what the heck? Gathering all these spirits in one place, are you planning on forming an army or something?
Scáthach:
That's not a bad idea. I wouldn't have to keep my air of being aloof and reckless.
Scáthach:
Stand down. Lifeless one.
Cú Chulainn:
What the hell? It's not really like you to respond to my heckling, Scáthach.
Scáthach:
Is that so? Many months and years have passed while I presided over the gates of this demonic land. I've seen many lives and deaths here.
Scáthach:
I thought... I might as well rot.
Scáthach:
But this body never decayed. My soul was forever frozen, unchanged.
Scáthach:
Yet, my soul was always too...decent...to allow me to plunge into the morass of true evil.
Scáthach:
My desires faded, and my senses told only of silence and eternity.
Scáthach:
...And then...
Scáthach:
Humanity was incinerated. And with its absence, I gained the chance to end my eternity of monotony...
Scáthach:
...the one in a million chance to finally be embraced by true death.
Scáthach:
Yet, I still do not know where my soul goes after death.
Scáthach:
Is it to the Throne of Heroes? To the incinerated Land of Shadows? Or—
Cú Chulainn:
...
Scáthach:
Either way, I...desire. Through this body of ether, I have flesh and bones. Even a heart.
Scáthach:
And though it is temporary, I have “life” as a Servant.
So, I find myself wanting to test it.
Scáthach:
No matter how much I try to hold back, I cannot contain it.
Scáthach:
As a result, I have involved Master and my foolish disciples in this debacle.
Scáthach:
I apologize. Though, I know that may not be enough.
Cú Chulainn:
What a roundabout way of doing things.
...Fine. Let's give Scáthach her last rites.
Cú Chulainn:
Missy, Master. You ready?
Scáthach is serious now.
Cú Chulainn:
It's a sight rarely seen! Prepare yourself!
Scáthach:
Then I shall die. Or perhaps, I shall kill.
Scáthach:
Let's do this. I will try not to hold back!
--BATTLE--:
Scáthach:
...That is some fight you put up.
You have grown, all of you.
Cú Chulainn:
It's over, Scáthach.
If you've lost your wits, snap out of it.
Scáthach:
I'm still not dead. You all are still alive.
Scáthach:
Why do you stop? This fight is not yet over.
Cú Chulainn:
There's no point in this, Scáthy-teach.
Cú Chulainn:
Killing you in a memory wouldn't make it real. That's just death within a fantasy. It'll only leave a bitter aftertaste.
Cú Chulainn:
If you're going to die, do it in the real world.
It should be an honorable death in battle, too, right?
Scáthach:
...
Cú Chulainn:
Besides, why would you say you would TRY not to hold back!? That's not going all-out at all!
Cú Chulainn:
If you really went all-out, you'd bring out a gate or two, not just your spear.
Mash:
A gate...
Cú Chulainn:
“Gate of Skye.” Have you seen it? It's a move where her enemies are dragged down into the Land of Shadows.
Cú Chulainn:
At the bottom of the Land of Shadows, they're as good as dead. All living things simply perish.
Cú Chulainn:
But then you don't even use it! If that's not holding back, what is, Scáthach!?
Scáthach:
H-hmmmmm...
Cú Chulainn:
Looks like I got you there.
That's a once in a lifetime sight.
Cú Chulainn:
...Is it because you're summoned as a Servant now? You're showing off a human side of yourself.
Cú Chulainn:
But I guess that's partly due to Master's influence.
After all, Master's the most human of all humans I know.
Fujimaru 1:
What do you mean?
Fujimaru 2:
Is that a thing? That doesn't sound like a thing.
Cú Chulainn:
It means you always try your best, as much as you're able. And anything you can't do, you still try to find a way.
Cú Chulainn:
You borrow wisdom from those came before you, and dream of a future. No matter how dire the situation, and fight as humanly as possible.
Cú Chulainn:
At times you may be discouraged. You may look back to the past. But stopping and looking back is only for a moment.
Cú Chulainn:
Right? Does that ring a bell?
Scáthach:
...I suppose you have me there. I must have been affected by Master without realizing it.
Cú Chulainn:
If not, you wouldn't be so feeble.
Fujimaru 1:
Eh?
Fujimaru 2:
Scáthach...feeble?
Cú Chulainn:
I guess it's her way of life. Her desires aside, it's not like Scáthach to look back.
Mash:
I think...I understand that logic.
Mash:
Not only were her mannerisms different from the normal Scáthach, but her way of fighting...and everything else.
Cú Chulainn:
Oh, Missy is starting to understand the way of the Celts. So there you have it.
Cú Chulainn:
Scáthach. For you to desire death is just your way of trying to escape. And that isn't you at all.
Cú Chulainn:
Isn't it more like you to dream of a swift yet beautiful death as the reward of a glorious battle?
Scáthach:
...
Scáthach:
You really didn't hold back there, Cú Chulainn.
But you're right.
Scáthach:
For me to renounce everything and seek death at a time like this is nothing more than running from the truth.
Cú Chulainn:
Sheesh. Took you long enough.
Scáthach:
My apologies. And forget it.
Scáthach:
...(Sigh) I cannot believe it...
Scáthach:
To allow you, of all people, to see my doubts.
As a mentor, there is no greater disgrace.
Scáthach:
Hrm. In order to offset this disgrace, I may need you to die three times.
Cú Chulainn:
Now you're just taking it out on us!
Scáthach:
Idiot. It's to clear my name. But since I wasn't falsely accused of anything, I simply need to overwrite my disgrace by doing something even more heinous.
Cú Chulainn:
Terrible. She really hasn't changed.
But then again—
Cú Chulainn:
Thanks to Master, I got to see a more human side of her. Let's just say that I had a valuable experience.
Scáthach:
—Hmph. You've grown bold, Child of Light.
Cú Chulainn:
I've had my fair share of turmoil.
Scáthach:
I see. Then you may be the one who will eventually stand before me in battle.
Scáthach:
Farewell, Cú Chulainn. It seems it'll be a while before your Gáe Bolg becomes the instrument of my grand end.
Mash:
...Oh look. The dead spirits have disappeared.
Cú Chulainn:
Sheesh. She left me with a hell of a demand.
Cú Chulainn:
In order to end that woman's life, one would need the skills capable of killing even the gods.
Cú Chulainn:
Well anyway, why don't we go ahead and wake up, Master?
Cú Chulainn:
Scáthach and my desires aside, you've got a more crucial task up ahead of you.