Suzuka Gozen
A High School Girl Stroll in Chaldea
Mash:
Here, Senpai, I brought you some tea.
Mash:
I think this pot turned out better than the one I made yesterday... How is it?
Fujimaru 1:
Perfect.
Fujimaru 2:
Every pot you make comes out better than the last.
Mash:
I'm glad to hear that.
Okay, I'll pour myself a cup too–
Mash:
...?
Suzuka Gozen:
OMG! I, like, can't even! You're MY Master,
Master, so you've gotta, like, do something!
Mash:
Suzuka, what's wrong?
Here, have some tea first.
Suzuka Gozen:
Tea? OMG you're like, so considerate! I'm so touched knowing Mash can really look after people.
Suzuka Gozen:
This Jasmine tea is delish! BTW, this tea actually goes really well with Japanese sweets...
Suzuka Gozen:
...AND THAT'S NOT WHY I'M HERE!
The tea is, like, so good though...
Mash:
Then...why are you here?
Suzuka Gozen:
Why? Do you even have to ask!?
Isn't it freakin' obvious? I am literally...
Suzuka Gozen:
...bored AF!!!
Mash:
...Huh?
Suzuka Gozen:
I have got, like, nothing but time here.
I mean, I'm a high school girl!
Suzuka Gozen:
We should like...not ever have entire days in our planners empty!
Mash:
I-I see... A teenage girl, huh...
Suzuka Gozen:
We can't fall even one day behind! We gotta, like, keep up with the trends and stuff or we'll end up looking like total losers!
Suzuka Gozen:
It's how us high school girls gotta live!
It's, like, an actual war!
Suzuka Gozen:
Now that I'm all, like, materialized, I'm not wasting another second hanging around this boring dump! YFM?
Mash:
R-right...
Suzuka Gozen:
Hm? Hold up...
(Staaare)
Suzuka Gozen:
...You said your name's Mash, right?
How old are you again?
Mash:
Me? Well, it's sort of complicated in my case...
Suzuka Gozen:
Really!? Aren't you, like, at LEAST high school age!?
Such a waste... Oh wait, maybe this is actually, like, perfect?
Suzuka Gozen:
'Cuz, like, you'd be perfect for what high school girls do. You know, like cliques and stuff!
Suzuka Gozen:
All right Mash, you come with me.
Oh, I guess you can come too, Master.
Mash:
Huh? Where are we going?
Suzuka Gozen:
Dunno. We don't, like, have to have a destination, do we?
Suzuka Gozen:
We can figure that out later. I just wanna get outta here and chat a little and stuff.
Suzuka Gozen:
It'd rock if there was someplace we could chill, like a mall, but since there isn't, we'll just have to settle for walking around this Chaldea place.
Suzuka Gozen:
I mean, you could even, like, show me around if you wanna. I don't know this place at all.
Mash:
Well, I don't mind giving you a tour, but,
it doesn't have to be right NOW, does it...?
Mash:
Senpai and I were just enjoying a nice,
relaxing teatime while we–
Suzuka Gozen:
C'mon, let's GO already!
We're burning daylight or whatever! (Tug, tug)
Mash:
Well...umm...I guess I can't refuse...
Suzuka Gozen:
Haha! It's not every day you get to go on a walk with two cute high schoolers hanging all over you.
Isn't Fujimaru like the luckiest [♂ guy /♀️ girl] out there?
Mash:
I... I'm a staff member of Chaldea, not a student...
Mash:
Um, Suzuka, please don't take this the wrong way,
but you're not really in high school, right...?
Suzuka Gozen:
Hey, don't get hung up on the details, Mash.
Suzuka Gozen:
It's like they say, you're only as old as you feel,
right? And I am for sure a teenager at heart!
Suzuka Gozen:
Now shut up about all that age crap and show me around! Oooh, where's the nearest crêpe stand? Real high school girl walks totes need munchies!
Mash:
I'm afraid we don't have any food stands here...
But there is a tearoom up ahead.
Mash:
See the sign that says “Moonlight”? It used to be an empty storeroom until Dr. Roman fixed it up.
Mash:
I'm told it has AV equipment, soundproofed walls,
and even a karaoke machine.
Suzuka Gozen:
Karaoke! Oh that is just, like,
a perfect place to stop for our walk!
Suzuka Gozen:
Besides, you've gotta have mad karaoke skills when you go out to mixers and stuff!
Suzuka Gozen:
Not gonna lie, I'm pretty good when it comes to music. So good I drew out Takamaru when he was hiding in a cave.
Suzuka Gozen:
Oh but to set the record straight, karaoke isn't about who's the best singer.
Suzuka Gozen:
The most important part about karaoke is having fun and making sure everyone can enjoy it.
Suzuka Gozen:
Oh this will totes help me max out my high school girl game! C'mon, what're we still doing here!?
Mash:
Okay, let's go pay it a visit. But I don't know much about singing, so I'll probably just stick to listening.
Mash:
...
Mash:
(Speaking of which, I remember asking about this karaoke machine...)
Mash:
(...Da Vinci was deadly serious when she said it would be better if I don't go near it for a while... I wonder why?)
Mash:
Here we are.
Mash:
...? I think I hear something inside...
Maybe someone's already using it?
Fujimaru 1:
I've got a bad feeling about this.
Fujimaru 2:
Oh great, here we go...
Suzuka Gozen:
Oh? Is another high school girl in there?
C'mon Mash, Fujimaru, let's go meet them!
Nero:
I am the♪...per... p-p-p-per!
Nero:
Perfectest emperOR♪ (Bleat)
Elisabeth:
Bloody, bloody, nice and bloody♪
Elisabeth:
Hyper Idol ShowTIME♪ (Squawk)
Mash:
...!
Suzuka Gozen:
Th-the hell...!
Fujimaru 1:
GAAAAAAH!
Fujimaru 2:
(Go into shock)
Mash:
Senpai!? Hang in there, Senpai!
Please, get a hold of yourself!
Nero:
Heh, your lovely singing voice gave my goosebumps goosebumps, Lancer! I am reminded once again why you are my rival!
Elisabeth:
I'm impressed by your devilish singing too, Saber. I never would've guessed you had an auditory train wreck like that up your sleeve, given your adorable looks.
Elisabeth:
That was good. Great, even! So awful it was perfect!
And you were so off-key you were like a locked door.
Nero:
As in the door to success!? Please, stop!
You'll make me blush!
Elisabeth:
And I love your Tyrant Burning Shout!
It'd be the perfect...for a top idol like me!
Mash:
It's...Nero and Elisabeth. They seem to be smiling and glaring at each other simultaneously...
Suzuka Gozen:
Wha... What WAS that singing? That was, like, the ACTUAL WORST! My brain is trying to shut off my sense of hearing...
Nero:
Hm? And just WHAT do you mean by that?
Nero:
You there, Fox Ears! Just because you are a devoted fan lured by the siren song of my beautiful music does not give you the right to simply listen for free!
Elisabeth:
Yeah! Where do you get off sighing during our recital!? Beat it, before we start charging admission!
Suzuka Gozen:
Yikes... Admission? For karaoke?
That is, like, so not funny.
Mash:
I'm afraid it's no joke, Suzuka. Hard as it must be to believe, they are both completely serious.
Mash:
As far as they're both concerned, singing gives their lives purpose. They would never joke about it.
Suzuka Gozen:
Oh... Okay...
So that's these chicks' deal, huh...
Suzuka Gozen:
...Chill... I must stay chill... Their songs might've almost knocked me out cold but karaoke isn't about who's the best singer!
Suzuka Gozen:
...Not just me, but EVERYONE has to enjoy karaoke... Yeah...we should be having fun. All right!
Suzuka Gozen:
Ahem... What you two think about your singing is like totally not my business, and it's not my place to critique it or anything, y'know?
Suzuka Gozen:
Some people might call your singing...unique.
But as long as you two are having fun, who cares?
Suzuka Gozen:
Anyway, if you're done...
I think it's our turn to use this room.
Suzuka Gozen:
I'm a high school girl, so I gotta do some serious karaoke training. My social life DEPENDS on it. Now get outta the way!
Nero:
Huh? Do not be ridiculous, Fox Ears.
Nero:
My performance has only just begun. How can you expect me to step off the stage after only twenty hours?
Elisabeth:
And I still have over a hundred songs to get through!
Even if most of them are just remixes.
Elisabeth:
There's my Halloween standard arrangement, my Halloween demon realm arrangement, my Halloween Goderi arrangement, my Halloween sound arrange–
Suzuka Gozen:
...I see. So you're saying you aren't going anywhere, aren't you?
Mash:
Um, Suzuka? What if you sang with them?
Mash:
Of course, Master and I just remembered something urgent we have to attend to, so we definitely won't be joining you.
Suzuka Gozen:
Uh, what? Are you nuts? I'm not singing with them!
I'm trying to improve my skills, not make them worse!
Suzuka Gozen:
Besides, I don't wanna sing with just ANYONE! You're the only other high schooler here besides me, Mash!
Suzuka Gozen:
There is, like, not enough money in the world for me to sing with Little Red Tone-Deaf Hood and her creepy idol wannabe sidekick.
Mash:
Um, as I said before,
I may technically be a teenage girl, but–
Nero:
What was that!? You dare refer to a great emperor like myself as “Little Red Tone-Deaf Hood”!? I have a most beautiful singing voice!
Elisabeth:
Creepy idol wannabe...sidekick!?
Elisabeth:
Heh, hehe, hehehe.
Now I get it, Saber.
Elisabeth:
This girl must be...jealous of our immense talent!
Nero:
Aha, so that is it! She must be a contrarian–a “hater” who despises things that are popular.
Nero:
This only serves as proof that my singing is spreading beyond its intended audience!
Nero:
Still... Umu, it is sad that we cannot see eye to eye,
even after becoming Servants...
Nero:
...but that does not mean I shall be relinquishing this mic anytime soon. All that matters is that I am enjoying myself!
Nero:
You there, Fox Ears... Hm? Fox Ears...? For some reason, that appellation fills me with dread, but no matter.
Nero:
If you wish to claim this mic as your own,
you shall have to pry it out of my hands!
Elisabeth:
True. In the idol world, everything comes down to power and violence eventually.
Elisabeth:
And since I am the top idol, if you're going to try and steal my mic, you'd better be ready for a world of hurt!
Suzuka Gozen:
Ha! What are you two talking about? I don't even... Whatevs, if you're hoping for a fight then I'm totes down!
Mash:
Oh no. These incredibly powerful Servants are about to fight for an incredibly insignificant reason...!
--BATTLE--:
Nero:
Khh... I suppose my performance must have taken a greater toll on me than I realized... (Thud)
Elisabeth:
Aw man, if only I hadn't put in those two hours of high touch practice before singing... (Thud)
Suzuka Gozen:
Hehe...
Teenagers are totes the best at being greedy!
Suzuka Gozen:
Now let's get this karaoke party star–Huh?
Mash:
It seems our battle ended up destroying the machine...
Fujimaru 1:
War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing...
Fujimaru 2:
Too bad we didn't get to hear you sing.
Suzuka Gozen:
Y-yeah, that sucks. I wish I could've shown you guys what real singing sounds like.
Suzuka Gozen:
(Sigh)... Oh well, guess there's nothing we can do now that it's broken.
Suzuka Gozen:
But hey, it's not like there aren't a bunch of other things we've still gotta do!
Suzuka Gozen:
C'mon, Mash and Master, let's blow this popsicle stand and find somewhere else to go!
Mash:
Hold on, let me just finish submitting the damage report and repair request... Okay, done. Although, now that I think about it, we may be better off if the machine is never repaired...
Nero:
(Standing up) What? The machine is broken?
In that case...
Nero:
...we shall now test our singing might free of the confines of musical accompaniment! Lancer, I challenge you to an a cappella contest! La la laaa!
Elisabeth:
(Standing up) Challenge accepted! A true idol has no problem keeping her fans enthralled with the power of her voice alone! Laaa!
Suzuka Gozen:
...UGH, whatevs.
Just get me away from this freak show...
--ARROW--:
Suzuka Gozen:
Hey, Master? Mash? I've said this before,
so I'm pretty sure you know what the deal is, but...
Mash:
Yes?
Suzuka Gozen:
I wanna be the cutest girl ever.
That way I'll be gucci when I finally meet “the one.”
Suzuka Gozen:
Like...I've got no idea if any other versions of me already met “the one” somewhere, or if I'm gonna meet him myself one day...
Suzuka Gozen:
...but I am totes certain he's out there.
Suzuka Gozen:
He's, like, gotta be perfect. Someone I can devote all my love and stuff to. And be a killer hot bae.
Suzuka Gozen:
Sooo, if there's any chance I might meet him, I can't just slack off on being awesomely cute, can I?
Mash:
I, uh, I see. So that's why you want to,
uh...polish your skills.
Suzuka Gozen:
Yup! So karaoke is pretty much off the list now...but I can totes hone other skills on our walk!
Suzuka Gozen:
...Besides, the way I see it, a top-tier high school girl's gotta know how to play the game, which means she's gotta be used to hanging out with guys.
Suzuka Gozen:
If my future boyfriend gets away 'cause I end up freezing at a crucial moment, that'd just be the worst, right?
Fujimaru 1:
I...guess you might be right.
Fujimaru 2:
Wouldn't a naive, innocent girl have her own appeal?
Suzuka Gozen:
Um, no. Obviously.
Suzuka Gozen:
I mean, you HAVE heard about the whole, like, missed connection thing, right? You get ONE shot to say the right thing, and if you blow it, it's all over!
Suzuka Gozen:
So I can't just sit in my tower waiting for Prince Charming or whatever! I gotta go on the ATTACK!
Suzuka Gozen:
So! My next goal on this walk is to find a certified hottie and chat him up♪
Mash:
A, uh, certified hottie, huh...
Well, there are a good number of other Servants here.
Mash:
...While we're on the subject, what sort of things are you looking for in a romantic partner, Suzuka?
Suzuka Gozen:
Ooh, you wanna talk about boys?
Suzuka Gozen:
Hehehe, I KNEW we were totes on the same page, Mash!
Mash:
N-no, I don't think so.
I was just asking purely out of curiosity. I'm not–
Suzuka Gozen:
Right, yeah, anyways... Hmm, I don't really have a clear picture, you know? I mean, if I did, that'd sure make finding “the one” way easier.
Suzuka Gozen:
So I guess I'll know what I'm looking for when I see it.
Mash:
...I see. So you can't say anything for sure until you've actually met him...
Mash:
Does that mean you can't tell if it's fate or not until it's actually happening?
Suzuka Gozen:
Oh, yeah, totally! That's it exactly!
Don't overthink it and all, right?
Suzuka Gozen:
If you wanna talk, talk. If not, don't.
You just gotta figure it out as you go.
Suzuka Gozen:
Now come on!
I wanna see what sorta guys this place has!
Diarmuid:
Hello Master, Mash. Are you out for a walk?
...May I ask who your new friend is?
Suzuka Gozen:
Hmm...nah. He might be handsome, but he looks like he's got hella bad romantic luck. Plus, for some reason I feel like a boar would kick his ass.
Diarmuid:
...!
Gilgamesh:
Oho, is the mongrel out for a walk? You must be starved for stimulation. Very well. I am in fine spirits today, so I shall grant you an audience.
Gilgamesh:
Just this once, I will permit you to regale me with the tales of your many comedic failures. Be certain to make them entertaining.
Suzuka Gozen:
Hmm...nah. It's cool to be an influencer, but he's way too stuck-up for me. I think I'd prefer the kid we saw earlier who looks kinda like him.
Gilgamesh:
...!
Astolfo:
Hmm? What's going on? Huh? Huh?
Suzuka Gozen:
...Nah, not really my type. Plus, nobody likes a guy who's cuter than her. Nobody!
Astolfo:
...!
Suzuka Gozen:
What. The. Hell!? There are tons of good-looking guys here, so how come all I can do is swipe left? There's just something wrong with all of them!
Suzuka Gozen:
Forget finding a boyfriend! There's not even someone worth practicing my flirting on here!
Mash:
I feel oddly bad about that...
Fujimaru 1:
Maybe you should try changing things up?
Fujimaru 2:
Maybe don't limit yourself to handsome young guys?
Suzuka Gozen:
Hmm... You might be onto something there. Maybe I should try older guys. Silver foxes are totes a thing.
Mash:
Ah. Speaking of which...
Fergus:
Hm? If it isn't Mash and Master.
I'm glad to see you both in good health.
Fergus:
And...I don't believe we've met?
Suzuka Gozen:
'Sup. I'm Suzuka, a Saber.
I'm outie five thousand. Peace.
Fergus:
Oho, a Saber, you say? What a coincidence!
The name's Fergus and I'm a Saber myself.
Fergus:
Hmm... (Staaare)
Suzuka Gozen:
...?
Fergus:
I must say, Lady Suzuka...
You are one fine woman.
Suzuka Gozen:
Eh? A-ahaha, for real?
Aw, that's so sweet.
Suzuka Gozen:
I guess that super jacked look can work.
Fergus:
Haha, I see, I see. In that case, Lady Suzuka...maybe we should have ourselves a little “sparring” session?
Fergus:
You seem like you have energy to spare.
I would love to have you as my partner.
Suzuka Gozen:
Oh... You mean that thing swordsmen like to get up to? Hmm... Yeah, why not? I was getting kinda tired of just strolling around.
Mash:
Senpai. Senpai!
Mash:
Is it just me, or are the two of them speaking English and still somehow managing to not be speaking the same language?
Fergus:
Then you accept? Wonderful.
Suzuka Gozen:
So where do you wanna do this thing? I passed a training room earlier if you wanna go at it there.
Fergus:
Oho, the training room, you say? I was thinking either your room or mine...but I see you prefer someplace a little...roomier! Very well, I gladly accept.
Fergus:
Ahh, I can't wait to get started. Despite your flippant demeanor, I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you that you were ripe for the plucking.
Fergus:
Between your full, perky breasts, your shapely bottom, and those childbearing hips, I can tell I will truly enjoy some vigorous lovemaking with you! Wahaha!
Suzuka Gozen:
Huh!? W-wait. When you said “partner,” you meant...
Wh-what are you, stupid or something!? What the ACTUAL HELL, creeper!?
Mash:
...I knew it.
Suzuka Gozen:
Forget it!
I take back literally everything I said before!
Fergus:
Now, now, there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
Come on. Come on. (Approaching determinedly)
Suzuka Gozen:
Wh-why you... Dammit, I knew this place was a freak show! Left swipe. Left swipe! LEFT SWIIIIIIIIPE!
--BATTLE--:
Suzuka Gozen:
Ugh, that sucked ass.
Mash:
I'm so sorry. Usually, he's a paragon of Sabers, and highly dependable, but he can get...carried away...
Suzuka Gozen:
You don't need to apologize!
It's that old freak with the drill who's way out of line!
Suzuka Gozen:
And where the hell's he get off calling me “ripe”!? Can't he talk about how I'm a cute teenage girl in the prime of my fricking youth!?
Suzuka Gozen:
...It's un-freakin'-believable!
Mash:
N-now, now, at least it's all over. There's a break room right over there. How about we rest a bit?
Shuten-Douji:
...Hehehehe. I've lost count of how many drinks this is.
But who cares? Bottoms up!
Ibaraki-Douji:
Yeah!
Wine shared with you is always special wine, Shuten!
Ibaraki-Douji:
And the snacks we stole off of the green Archer are sooo deliciously sweet! Mmm...
Ibaraki-Douji:
Now, what were we talking about again?
Oh, right. So I gave those humans an earful.
Ibaraki-Douji:
I said ... from the bottom of my heart...so you all must be ...! So there!
Shuten-Douji:
My, my, you must have scared them out of their minds, Ibaraki. Your transformations surprise even me sometimes.
Shuten-Douji:
Fufu... What could be scarier than a sudden, unexpected, and dramatic transformation...? I don't know WHAT I'd do if I ran into a big oni with a completely blank face...
Ibaraki-Douji:
...Right!? Kind of a masterstroke from me, don't you think? I wish you could've seen the looks on their faces! Ehehehehe...
Fujimaru 1:
I'm surprised to find them drinking here.
Fujimaru 2:
No wonder the hallway stank of alcohol.
Mash:
The two oni?
They do seem to be thoroughly intoxicated.
Suzuka Gozen:
Tch, it's the oni! And I was already in a bad mood... What gives...!
Suzuka Gozen:
...Mash.
Do they do this kinda crap often?
Mash:
Yes, I'd say so.
I've seen them like this several times before.
Suzuka Gozen:
Dammit, this is exactly why–
Suzuka Gozen:
Ugh, they're annoying and I just can't with this freakin' stench! Hey! Oni!
Ibaraki-Douji:
Hm? Do I know you...?
Suzuka Gozen:
Do you, like, not know what a total pain you are being with all this drinking!? Get outta here!
Suzuka Gozen:
This is TOTALLY why people always say oni suck, or that they're clueless, or that they just like to attack when you're minding your own business...
Suzuka Gozen:
I mean, okay, so, like, that might've led to a couple romantic encounters or something, but that really doesn't matter anymore!
Suzuka Gozen:
Just...shape the hell up and quit making trouble for me already, oni!
Ibaraki-Douji:
So you say we suck? That we are clueless?
Big words from a little fox! ...Wait... You're not actually a fox, are you...?
Shuten-Douji:
Well, well... If it isn't that Demon King's princess.
I'm deliiighted to meet you.
Ibaraki-Douji:
Hm? You know her, Shuten?
Shuten-Douji:
It's Suzuka Gozen, daughter of the Demon King of the Fourth Heaven.
Shuten-Douji:
She lived in Japan long before I set foot in Ooe, so I haven't had the pleasure, but I've heard aaall about her.
Shuten-Douji:
...Care to join us for a drink? Oni have sooo much in common with the daughters of Demon Kings. We should get along reeeally well. What do you say?
Suzuka Gozen:
Tch... So you know who I am.
Then I have A LOT more to say to you now.
Suzuka Gozen:
Your lazy asses are why I got sent to Japan in the first place. You caused me no end of trouble.
Suzuka Gozen:
Japan is just a few tiny islands. You could have turned it into a demon kingdom in a week if you actually cared! But nooo! You failed to do so.
Suzuka Gozen:
Easy to believe all you did was get drunk even then! I suspect you only bothered attacking humans when you were bored and felt like it!
Suzuka Gozen:
An oni who doesn't know her place is bad,
but a lazy oni is just infuriating.
Suzuka Gozen:
You've got some nerve showing your lazy side to me. If you cannot be of service, then go take your useless hide somewhere and disappe–
Mash:
U-um...Suzuka?
Suzuka Gozen:
What?
Shuten-Douji:
Oh my, Suzuka. Listen to yooou!
It sounds like the reeeal you is starting to show!
Shuten-Douji:
I guess seeing an oni must have jolted you back to your true self, hmmm?
Suzuka Gozen:
...! I-I was...
That was just, like, an accident, 'kay?
Suzuka Gozen:
I just, like, could NOT be bothered to say how much you guys suck–though you still totes suck!
Suzuka Gozen:
Ugh, I am, like, embarrassed AF. Wait, I mean...no I'm not! Being a teenager is totes the best! We're cute, and awesome... We're just the best! Totes!
Mash:
S-Suzuka? You seem a little flustered.
You're also blushing bright red.
Suzuka Gozen:
I slipped... I can't believe I slipped...!
Being around those things forced my old self out...
Suzuka Gozen:
...That side of me is old news; this is the real me now... But since I haven't been manifested here for long, I'm still weak and immature... Even though...
Suzuka Gozen:
I decided that this time, I was gonna find true love...and stick with it...to the end... (Mumble)
Mash:
Sh-she's just facing the wall and mumbling to herself!
Fujimaru 1:
I think we should, like, give her some space.
Fujimaru 2:
She's, like, freaking me out.
Mash:
...Um, Senpai, I think her speech pattern may have...rubbed off on you a bit?
Suzuka Gozen:
...Hra! There, I'm back!
And I am a thousand percent better!
Suzuka Gozen:
Which is good, 'cause I'm, like, gonna need all the energy I can get for this next part.
Mash:
N-next part? I'm glad to hear you're feeling better now,
but...what comes next...?
Suzuka Gozen:
Oh come on, even you can totally figure that out, right?
Suzuka Gozen:
...Put the fear of god into these punk-ass oni for sending me on a cruddy trip down memory lane!
Ibaraki-Douji:
Mwahahaha. Did you hear that, Shuten?
I think the little demon princess is angry at us.
Shuten-Douji:
Oh, how annoying.
I don't see why she doesn't just join us for a drink.
Mash:
Uh-oh... I think we're about to get drawn into another battle. Be careful, Senpai!
--BATTLE--:
Ibaraki-Douji:
Tch... I guess they're too tough for us.
C'mon, Shuten. Let's go somewhere else.
Shuten-Douji:
Hmm, maybe I had a little too much to drink...?
A little hair of the dog should help...
Suzuka Gozen:
(Sigh)...
Suzuka Gozen:
...Just so you guys know, Master,
they were basically right about me.
Suzuka Gozen:
I'm the daughter of the Demon King of the Fourth Heaven. I'm just another Servant, just another Saber.
Suzuka Gozen:
But...that doesn't change the fact that I'm a high school girl at heart. That's just who I am now. Capisce?
Fujimaru 1:
...Why did you pick that of all things?
Suzuka Gozen:
It's not about a choice!
It's about being true to myself above all!
Mash:
Actually I'm curious about that too.
If you don't mind, would you please tell us why?
Fujimaru 2:
Got it. All that matters is that you're cute.
Suzuka Gozen:
Aha, so you DO get it, Master.
Mash:
Still, I'm curious why you chose this of all things to begin with.
Suzuka Gozen:
(Sigh)... Look, a lot of real crazy stuff went down while I was alive.
Suzuka Gozen:
Then, after I became a Heroic Spirit, I found out what modern high school girls are like, right?
Suzuka Gozen:
They're, like, the embodiment of popularity,
beauty, and cuteness. It's just, like, super fab.
Suzuka Gozen:
Plus, they enjoy life to the fullest! So I thought, this is it. This is what I've been looking for.
Suzuka Gozen:
...Totally makes sense, right?
Suzuka Gozen:
So my wish is to find the best boyfriend ever, have the best romance ever, and get the whole happily ever after thing, 'kay?
Suzuka Gozen:
So, to do that, I decided to be the best teenage high school girl ever.
Mash:
Aha... Now I understand, Suzuka.
Mash:
You just really, really...
Mash:
...REALLY want to find romance.
Suzuka Gozen:
...Pretty much.
Mash:
...Hehe.
Suzuka Gozen:
Hey, don't you know it's, like, rude to laugh in people's faces!? C'mon, let's go to this damn break room of yours.
Mash:
Sure. I'll show you where it is.
Suzuka Gozen:
Well, well, now look who's all high and mighty...
I think it's, like, truth or dare o'clock.
Suzuka Gozen:
So, as a fellow teenage girl, you're gonna tell me the truth about your experiences with boys when we get to the break room! C'mon let's go.
Mash:
Huh? Huh!? I...I never agreed to that...!
Suzuka Gozen:
Aha, don't bother running! You're not going anywhere!
Just, like, resign yourself to your fate!
A Foxy Moron
Note: Translated by /u/squashyVN
Will be formatted at a later date.