Tawara Touta
Slaying the Great Centipede
Mash:
Battle complete, Master.
Good work.
Dr. Roman:
Yeah, good work. Fujimaru and Mash,
I see you're both getting the hang of this.
Dr. Roman:
While you can't attack outright, you've gotten much better at analyzing and adapting to the situation as it unfolds.
Dr. Roman:
After all, your objective in battle is to sustain as little damage as possible. Never forget that.
Mash:
Yes. I'm getting more confident on the defensive front.
Mash:
When we were in Camelot, and I finally learned that the True Name of the Servant I fused with was Galahad...well, that has helped me so much...
Mash:
The way I bear down...and instead of repelling the enemy's attack, it's like I ward them off, or even return the move...
Fujimaru 1:
I get it. “Oaks may fall when reeds stand the storm.”
Mash:
That's so eloquent, and it embodies the spirit of martial arts. That should be the motto for all Heroic Spirits.
Dr. Roman:
No, it's not all about skill.
Sometimes a defense must be unyielding as steel.
Fujimaru 2:
The long-awaited counterattack...!
Mash:
C-counter? Well, I hear Galahad was skilled at such things...
Mash:
But I... It's still hard for me to read the enemy's movements...
Dr. Roman:
If you're talking about a reversal technique, maybe aikido. Swordsmanship, karate...those types of martial arts all focus on responding to the enemy's moves.
Tawara Touta:
Oh hey, Master. I've been looking for you.
I wanted to let you know it's almost dinnertime!
Mash:
Oh, so you're in charge of dinner today, Touta?
Tawara Touta:
Haha. Sorry to disappoint you.
But hey, at least my cooking is simple and manly!
Tawara Touta:
I'll let the others make varied and exquisite dishes. Nobody can beat me when it comes to sheer quantity!
Mash:
Actually, the rice that you cook is delicious,
Touta. The grains come out so fluffy.
Tawara Touta:
Fluffy, huh? Well, now that puts a smile on my face. You'd make a good wife, Mash.
Tawara Touta:
I don't carry around a bag of rice for nothing.
White rice is always a source of power!
Tawara Touta:
There's nobody who could best me in any dish that pairs with white rice.
Tawara Touta:
And you can always come back for more! Salted salmon, seasoned nori... Eat it with whatever!
Fujimaru 1:
Gulp...
Fujimaru 2:
I'm...getting hungry...
Dr. Roman:
Actually, if everyone just ate Touta's rice,
it'd be a big help with our operating budget.
Tawara Touta:
Yeah, right? Oh, hey... So this is the seemalayter that I've heard so much about.
Tawara Touta:
I heard it's a strange contraption,
but how does it actually train you?
Dr. Roman:
Oh right, you've never used it before. This device can take you anywhere around the world or to any strange land.
Dr. Roman:
Since you're famous for killing all kinds of strange things, this device would probably entertain you.
Mash:
Legend says that you once defeated a giant centipede, Touta. I'd be very interested to see what it looked like!
Tawara Touta:
Heh, cut it out. You're making me blush.
I'm not used to so much praise, or talking about myself.
Tawara Touta:
But conveniently, there's this contraption that could help us out. I'd be happy to show you what you want to know.
Mash:
Are you going to show us how you defeated the giant centipede?
Tawara Touta:
I'm always in favor of eating good rice. And no meal tastes better than the one you have after facing a life-or-death experience!
Tawara Touta:
Now then, Lord Peach Hair. Give us the biggest centipede you have. I'll show you a proper bug hunt!
Dr. Roman:
Is that what you want? The simulator is useful, but unfortunately, we don't have any data on giant centipedes.
Mash:
Now that you mention it, we've never fought a giant centipede in any of the Singularities...
Dr. Roman:
On top of that, the centipede you're talking about was big enough to have coiled seven and a half times around Mt. Mikami. Recreating something like that would take a while.
Tawara Touta:
Shucks. So no giant centipede...
Pity, since it was quite the sight.
Dr. Roman:
If only we had an abundance of funds.
If all we ate was Touta's rice...maybe one day...
Fujimaru 1:
Then let's have dinner.
Tawara Touta:
Hm...I would love to do that, but now that we've started this conversation, I'm not in an eating mood...
Mash:
I'm terribly sorry.
I started all this with my impossible request.
Tawara Touta:
No, no. My own immaturity's got me riled up and now I can't calm down.
Tawara Touta:
But you know what, Mash, Fujimaru. Even if we don't exactly have what we want, it's just a matter of improvisation.
Tawara Touta:
I may have been blessed with many things during my lifetime, but that doesn't mean I had everything.
Tawara Touta:
Rather, working around a situation like that is my forte. And, Lord Peachtree, if you don't mind a small request...
Dr. Roman:
That could work.
That shouldn't take too much resources.
Tawara Touta:
Then I ask that you prepare accordingly.
Wait right there. I'll bring in the proper actors.
Mash:
This is turning into quite the spectacle...
Fujimaru 1:
I wonder when we're going to eat...
Dr. Roman:
...And so you're all inside the simulator. I'll try to use what we have to simulate the period in Japan for you...
Dr. Roman:
But, you know, if there's anything off, just...let it slide, please!
Tawara Touta:
Thanks, Lord Roman.
Sorry to rope you into my selfish whims.
Fujimaru 1:
So you managed to figure out the giant centipede?
Fujimaru 2:
Don't tell me it's going to be Cú Chulainn Alter...
Tawara Touta:
Heh. Don't sweat the details.
Just sit back and watch. I hope you enjoy it.
Tawara Touta:
Now then. Let me tell you the tale of the giant centipede. It was when I journeyed to the province of Shimotsuke.
Tawara Touta:
When I arrived at Seta in Oumi, I ran across some civilians who seemed to be distressed.
Mash:
Oh, there are people gathered in front of a bridge.
Did it collapse?
Tawara Touta:
Nope! It was a giant snake about sixty meters long lying on the bridge.
Tawara Touta:
It wasn't doing much, really, just sitting on top of the bridge. But the civilians were all terrified and nobody was willing to try getting over or around the snake.
Kiyohime:
Hiiisss!!!
Fujimaru 1:
Ohhh, so THAT'S the giant snake...
Tawara Touta:
But no mere snake could hinder me.
I simply ignored the giant snake and crossed the bridge.
Tawara Touta:
Hup!
Kiyohime:
Did you just step on me? You told me you were only going to step over me during the rehearsal...
Tawara Touta:
Uh, well, I just remembered...back then I was quite intoxicated...and so the giant snake and I...well...
Kiyohime:
So, you picked a fight with the snake.
No one told me about that part.
Kiyohime:
Therefore, I, Kiyo...I mean, the giant cute snake atop the bridge will not tolerate such lies!
Tawara Touta:
Ha! That's the spirit, Doujouji!
You sure know how to liven up an act!
Tawara Touta:
This is act one, Fujimaru!
Tawara Touta, heading out!
--BATTLE--:
Kiyohime:
(Pant, pant)...
Kiyohime:
When I lost my temper, I feel I crossed a line unbecoming for a heroine...
Kiyohime:
Master?
Did you happen to witness my transformation?
Fujimaru 1:
I saw nothing.
Fujimaru 2:
I totally blacked out the last few minutes. Yep.
Tawara Touta:
Yeah. Even Fujimaru says so,
so why don't you cheer up?
Tawara Touta:
I apologize for messing up the plan.
Very sorry.
Fujimaru 1:
Even Touta apologized.
Fujimaru 2:
Let's go out for a meal once we're all done.
Kiyohime:
Well... If you insist, my dear Anchin...
Kiyohime:
(Gasp!) (This is my moment in the spotlight.
It's time for Kiyohime to shine!)
Kiyohime:
(It's time to monopolize Master's burning gaze!)
Kiyohime:
Ahem... Your fighting was truly impressive.
I'm sorry if it looked like I was testing you.
Kiyohime:
Actually, I was here on this bridge because I was waiting for a strong individual like you to come.
Tawara Touta:
(Good save.)
Oh? And who exactly are you?
Kiyohime:
I am a dragon deity who has lived in this lake of Oumi for years.
Tawara Touta:
I see. I knew you were a metamorphing being, but I didn't expect you to be a dragon deity. I'm glad I didn't kill you.
Kiyohime:
Recently, a giant centipede that lives in Mt. Mikami have been wrecking havoc on the neighboring village.
Kiyohime:
It would have been ignored had it only hunted down wild beasts, but now it has begun to prey on livestock and even on my own kind.
Kiyohime:
That giant centipede is nothing but a headache to us.
I ask of you: Would you slay this wicked beast?
Tawara Touta:
You may call it a giant, but a centipede is still just a bug. Squashing it should be easy. I'll head over to Mt. Mikami and slay that thing in no time flat.
Tawara Touta:
At the request of the dragon deity,
I headed to Mt. Mikami right away.
Mash:
Really? Right away?
Mash:
If I heard the centipede was huge beyond all imagining,
I would take time to plan before I went...
Tawara Touta:
If one had a cool head, yes, that would have been the logical move. But for some reason, I was riled up.
Tawara Touta:
Hm. It must have been because the battle against the dragon deity was so intense. I'd pretty much put all of this at her feet, really!
Tawara Touta:
Either way, I had also forgotten that I only had three arrows in my possession.
Mash:
So you faced a great monster that overwhelmed even the dragon deity...with just three arrows!?
Mash:
Master!
Something's coming toward us!
Tawara Touta:
It's here! The giant centipede of Mt. Mikami has finally made its appearance!
Fujimaru 1:
Crap! The Genji!
Fujimaru 2:
Uh...why are they connected like a train?
Tawara Touta:
We couldn't replicate a giant centipede, but I wanted to create something that would frighten someone to their core with just a single glance.
Tawara Touta:
And, well, those three fit the bill. So, I asked them to consent to being put in the bizarre position of forming a centipede like this.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
...Yes. We are lined up holding a jump rope, and we are running in unison. We look like a group of children at play, and so it is a bit embarrassing.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
But if Lord Tawara Touta is requesting this,
we cannot refuse.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
I am a little conflicted about playing a demonic role...but I shall become a centipede for Master!
Ushiwakamaru:
And if this be entertainment for Master's enjoyment...then tonight, the three of us shall play the part the very best we can!
Sakata Kintoki:
Yeah, it's good for 'ol Raikou to act like a kid sometimes! Can't be a general all the time!
Sakata Kintoki:
And so...lemme hear some NOISE for Minamoto Tribe feat. the Golden Genji Power Train! YEEEAH!
Tawara Touta:
Hm. I was the one who planned all this, but it's actually still a terrifying sight. We went too far.
Tawara Touta:
Lord Raikou is especially...scary.
She's not really getting the whole “play” aspect of this.
Tawara Touta:
(Don't tell me... Did she not have any friends to play with during her youth...?)
Tawara Touta:
(No, no. I should leave that alone.
Nothing good would come of it!)
Tawara Touta:
Okay! Now let me show you some proper monster slaying! Come on Fujimaru, let's enjoy this!
--BATTLE--:
Tawara Touta:
Uh, just to clarify...we agreed that I would “win” the moment my arrow hits Lady Raikou's headpiece, correct?
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Of course. That is, IF the arrow manages to get around my sword and hit the target.
Tawara Touta:
Hm. This may prove to be more difficult than the actual slaying of the giant centipede! Ha!
Ushiwakamaru:
Halt! As long as I'm around, your arrows will never reach Lady Raikou!
Sakata Kintoki:
Heh. That's some big talk. But hey, if you have that covered, I'll focus on ATTACKING! Ha!
Mash:
Leave the frontline defense to us!
Touta, please focus on getting Raikou off our back!
Tawara Touta:
I'll just get her from here.
Mash, hold your position!
Mash:
Eh...but...
Tawara Touta:
Right there is fine...the angle and position of your shield are perfect!
Sakata Kintoki:
Huh? Where the heck is that Tawara fella aiming at?
He's not the one for make-or-break moves–
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Oh my...
Sakata Kintoki:
Seriously? He ricocheted against Mash's shield and managed to hit Boss's headpiece!
Sakata Kintoki:
It's one thing to do it with bullets,
but that just ain't how arrows work!
Ushiwakamaru:
Rather than reflecting the arrow, he actually corrected the arrow's course... What a fantastic demonstration of his superior skill, even with only a single arrow!
Tawara Touta:
Well, Mash also mentioned she was getting the hang of using her shield, so I knew it would work.
Tawara Touta:
And that Round Table shield of yours is pretty impressive. To see it just deflect my strongest shot... Man, I might lose confidence in my abilities!
Mash:
No, that's not true, Lord Tawara... The sensation of the arrow flying by was like a wave in the air itself!
Mash:
And when it hit my shield, well, there was no doubt in my mind that you could shoot down even a god!
Mash:
(But...as skilled as it is,
how come he usually throws bales of rice?)
Ushiwakamaru:
Phew. So the theatrical recreation of the giant centipede battle has ended. It was an honor to have witnessed the Great Hachiman Bodhisattva move there.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Yes. An intentional miss resulting in hitting the target. This is truly what you call a bull's-eye.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Wonderful, Lord Tawara. The stories of your valor I heard in my youth were indeed true.
Tawara Touta:
It's nothing. All I did was catch everyone off guard. I would never be able to do that a second time. More importantly, my compliments to the head of the Genji. Now that it's over, I'm trembling.
Tawara Touta:
Had I missed, you would have rushed in and lopped my head off in one stroke, am I right?
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Oh my.
Whatever do you mean, Lord Tawara?
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Even if you were correct, I am sure you would have easily repelled the attack!
Tawara Touta:
Uh...yeah, let's go with that, and leave it there!
Tawara Touta:
To think even my trembling would get a reenactment...
I didn't expect something like that to happen!
Mash:
Your body trembling... Was it really that terrifying?
Even though you fought so valiantly?
Tawara Touta:
Of course I was scared. Even I could be spooked by things that frightening!
Tawara Touta:
To realize after the fact that one fought a great demonic insect that would devour even the gods...there's no way one would NOT be scared.
Tawara Touta:
But that was the last thing on my mind back then. After all, I was blessed by one like a heavenly maiden.
Tawara Touta:
I was so focused and fired up, I could have risen to the heavens. Motivation surpassed any fear I had.
Tawara Touta:
After all, adventure and lethal battles are for the young. It was a good experience for me.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Dauntless, yet brisk... I suppose if it wasn't for that kind of characteristic, the dragon deity wouldn't have asked for your help.
Sakata Kintoki:
Totally. Ya just gotta wait until god-devouring insects pass by on its own. Yet to get rid of it with just some dinky arrows...
Sakata Kintoki:
But as you can see, boss Tawara ain't someone who brags, but you saw that he's a super scary monster killer if he gets serious.
Sakata Kintoki:
After all, that Masa...
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Ahem. Kintoki, my dear, I cannot walk.
Perhaps it was because I hit my head.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
Would you mind carrying your mother?
I hear that the cafeteria has breakfast ready for us.
Minamoto-no-Raikou:
I'm sure everyone is hungry after this battle.
How about we all head over for a meal?
Fujimaru 1:
Yeah, yeah!
Fujimaru 2:
Tons of Tawara-brand rice balls, please.
Sakata Kintoki:
Sounds good!
I love rice balls!
Sakata Kintoki:
Let's have a breakfast buffet, Master! Knowing boss Tawara, he'll prepare tons of seafood dishes too!
Ushiwakamaru:
I shall accompany you as well. Soup made from fish scraps does indeed sound appetizing.
Tawara Touta:
Hahaha! You guys are all too much!
Putting in orders already!
Tawara Touta:
But that's how it should be. A good meal is better than battle anytime. That's the way of the world!
Tawara Touta:
Fujimaru and Mash, that's the end of my giant centipede story.
Tawara Touta:
If you're satisfied, then I'm satisfied.
Now, let's all eat together!
Mash:
Yes! Thank you for the meal, Touta!